i hope this isn’t the end. 

Brady said I’m the most selfish person he’s ever met. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but I was. But it did inspire me to be better. No one wants to hear that, especially from the person who they are supposed to marry.

I told him that I think I should move out and we should just do our own thing for a while. And he said, “I don’t care what you do, Reese. You are going to do what you want regardless of what I think anyway. You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met.”

But let me backtrack. We’d already had prior plans to go to Massachusetts for Brady’s dad’s party the weekend after the election. Luckily we were talking more and neither of us even mentioned canceling. On the flight there, Brady talked a lot about work and how stressful and exciting it’s been. It was nice that he was actually talking to me and telling me about his life because I can’t even remember the last time he did that. Usually it’s “hello” and “goodbye” and “I’m going to pick up dinner, do you want anything?”

Brady’s parents sent a car to pick us up from the Boston airport because they’d be arriving after us. So it was weird to be in Brady’s parents house without them. Like even quieter and spookier. And I was freaked out that his mom had hidden cameras everywhere and was watching us remotely for ammo to use against me later. I don’t know.

Brady found a bottle of whiskey and made Old Fashioneds.

“Hunter’s coming. He will be here tomorrow,” Brady said as he next to me at the island. “Last minute decision. Dom and the kids are staying home.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I’m surprised. He hates coming here more than you do.”

Brady shrugged. “I’m sure he just needs an escape.”

I had some snide remarks I wanted to say, but maturity. I nodded. “What time do you think your parents will get here?”

He said, “Probably soon.”

It was about 8:30 at that time so we sat at the island and had a couple more drinks for the next hour. We were happy and tipsy when we noticed lights pulling into the driveway.

“They’re here!” I squealed, as if that was anything to be excited about.

Brady stood up and started cleaning up our cups and the liquor and I stood up to greet the parents at the door.

Brady’s mom opened the door and looked startled to see me.

“Hi, welcome home,” I said and giggled.

She just scowled at me. Brady’s dad followed her in behind the driver who had their luggage.

“Hello! How are you?” the dad said, immediately pulling me into a hug. Such a nice guy.

Brady joined us in the foyer and his mom immediately began questioning him. I could tell Brady was drunk and annoyed because he began mumbling answers and rolling his eyes.

“I’m sure you’re tired. I’ll make you a cup of tea?” I said to Brady’s parents.

His mom raised her eyebrows at me and walked past us toward the kitchen. Guess not.

The four of us sat around the island for a little while talking. Brady’s mom mostly just asked Brady about work and nodded proudly at how well he’s doing. There was a short lull in the conversation and Brady’s dad cut in and said, “What’s new with you, Reese? Is work going okay?”

“Of course,” I said. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Things must be more than okay if you’ve stayed this long,” Brady’s mom said cutting her eyes toward me.

Little does she know that I’ve been low key browsing job boards just to see what’s out there.

I slept downstairs in my little dungeon room that night and for the first time, I didn’t sneak up to Brady’s room and he didn’t sneak down to me. So I read on my tablet until I fell asleep.

The next morning, Brady and I took one of the cars to Boston to pick Hunter up from the airport. On the way back, we stopped to get alcohol to get us through the day and night. Obviously we’d need it.

We all went to dinner in the city before the party that night. I could tell Brady’s mom disapproved of my midi bodycon dress, but I didn’t even care because I looked cute and she doesn’t matter anymore. It was Hunter’s turn to be on the hot seat as their parents grilled him about his work and Dom and the kids.

Eventually Hunter said, “Everything is fine. The wife is fine. The babies are fine. It’s cool. Chill.”

I smirked at him. Brady would literally never dismiss his mother like that, but I wish he would.

Also for the first time, Anna was not at the party. I asked Brady if she was going to be there when we walked in and he said, “Uh, I don’t know actually. I think she’s traveling this month.”

Ever since our little rendezvous, I noticed that Brady and Anna stopped talking as much. She still emailed him and stuff, but his responses were short if he even responded at all.

I looked out for her a little bit when we first got there, but forgot about her as we started drinking.

Brady announced that he needed to go to the restroom and I told him I’d go with him because I’m just annoying like that. It was a single stall and I touched up my makeup while Brady did his business. When he was finished, I confronted him about us being on a break.

“Honestly, I think breaks are stupid and I don’t believe in them. So either you want to break up or not,” I said.

He shrugged as he washed his hands.

And that’s when I brought up the whole moving out thing. I honestly did think it’s probably best that I move out, but I also just wanted to gauge his reaction. And that’s when he called me selfish.

“How am I selfish? What else am I supposed to do?” I exclaimed.

“I don’t care. Do whatever you want, Reese,” Brady said and then he walked out.

I stayed in the bathroom for a little while, texting Kendra. She was complaining about being pregnant and the baby and I felt ridiculous for being drunk and fighting with Brady. Like, will I ever grow up? So I didn’t mention it.

I went back out to the party and found Brady and Hunter. Brady didn’t even look at me.

“There you are, little lady. We’re headed to the bar,” Hunter said.

And I didn’t really have a choice, but go with them. What else was I supposed to do, stay at the party and hang out with Brady’s parents? No thank you.

We Ubered a couple miles away to a bar where Hunter knew the bouncers. Brady had to go to the bathroom again immediately and Hunter and I told him we would meet him at the bar and order him a drink.

“Your brother is so mean sometimes,” I told him.

Hunter’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? Why do you say that?”

I explained to him what happened in the bathroom and then backtracked and explained the situations with Scott and Christian.

“Look, Brady is sensitive as shit. You know that. He’ll relax soon,” Hunter said. “In fact, let’s get him a shot.”

Brady kind of just ignored me all night. Luckily Hunter was going out of his way to include me because he knew what Brady was doing. At one point, Brady went to the bar to get a beer and Hunter put his arm around my waist.

“Cheer up. He’s gonna come around,” he said. I could tell he was really drunk because his eyes were creepy and low. I pulled away from him.

And then later, Hunter said, “Hey, don’t be upset. Brady is being an idiot. You’re hot. He’s going to keep you around.”

Um, wtf. And Brady was standing right there next to us. What a fucked up thing to say. I thought Hunter was more mature than that (remember that conversation we had about Dom when I first met him?), but obviously boys will be boys.

It pissed me off though. Not that Hunter owes me anything. But like, dismissing my concerns about Brady because I’m hot? Ew.

Carly got married. I can’t roll my eyes hard enough. She was a huge bridezilla bitch the week before the wedding and it annoyed me. I wanted to be like, “You don’t even want to marry Chris, you just want a wedding.” But that’s mean.

Brady and I didn’t really talk or see each other much that week, but I’d been looking at apartments. I texted Hunter something like, “He still isn’t talking to me,” and Hunter sent back some confused face .gif.

We put on a pretty convincing show at the wedding, pretending nothing was wrong. Carly’s mom even mentioned us being next. But then at the reception all of us got really drunk. The four of us plus some of Brady and Chris’s friends were hanging out and I heard Chris say, “So Brady man, are you getting any pussy tonight?”

SERIOUSLY?

I was drunk and had a delayed reaction, but pushed Chris when I realized what he said. Brady laughed. And when I woke up on Sunday morning, I decided that I am for sure 100% moving out. And I was so distraught by what Chris said that I grabbed Preston and we ditched the party to go to Boystown.

So I’m moving into my place next weekend. I’m really, really sad about it, but I think it’ll be good for me. I couldn’t move this past weekend because I was in Houston, but now my dad is going to come help me on Friday.

It sucks. I feel like I wasted all that time with Brady and now I’m back to where I started. If we were mad at each other, it would feel different, but he’s being nice, cordial and even offered to help me get all my shit out (but he told my dad he would help which is worse). So now it really feels over.

I needed to get out of Chicago so I went home to Houston for Thanksgiving. I haven’t gone home in forever and it felt kind of nice to do the whole family thing. I decided to stay with my mom because she was so incredibly excited that I was coming and I figured she (we) could use the company.

And obviously, when I was in Houston I saw Christian. I’d had such an awful day on the Wednesday before that I drank until I passed out on the flight. I Ubered to my mom’s, changed into a dress and met Brittany at a restaurant opening.

She squealed and threw her arms around me. “You look so good! How are you?” I noticed her checking behind me (probably looking for Brady because I hadn’t told her anything) and then look back at me with a sympathetic smile.

We met up with Christian later at a club where his friend was DJing. Christian knows pretty much everyone in the music industry in Houston. He too pulled me into a hug, kissed my cheek and kept a hand on my lower back the whole night. So if Brittany hadn’t caught on by then, she definitely did now.

I went home fairly early, but Christian and I made plans to see each other the next morning – without Brittany. We went to breakfast and then back to his studio so he could work.

Christian sat down at his computer and said, “So tell me what’s up?” without even looking at me.

That kind of irritated me, but I wasn’t about to say anything and start drama so early on.

“Not a whole lot. I’m moving into my apartment next weekend so… you’ll be able to come visit me,” I said.

“Good. I’d like to do that,” Christian said, grabbing my knee, but not looking over at me. He noticed I didn’t say anything and finally looked at me. “I’d like to see more of you.”

I hung out with him for a couple hours while he worked and he showed me some of his work. Eventually we needed to go be with our respective families, but we made plans for dinner on Friday night. On my way out, Christian grabbed me and kissed me on my forehead which almost felt more intimate than my lips.

I spent Thanksgiving with my mom only because both sets of grandparents were on vacation and that’s really the only other family I have. My dad texted me telling me “Happy Thanksgiving,” but when I replied asking what was doing I never got an answer. And when I told my mom, she assured me that he was with his girlfriend.

“He doesn’t have a girlfriend, Mom,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Y’all aren’t even divorced.”

After spending the night with Christian on Friday and all day Saturday, I decided to go clubbing with Brittany on Saturday night. I was enjoying his company a little too much and I already knew I was going to be devastated having to go back to Chicago and be ignored by Brady. So I thought a blackout night was in store.

Brittany is talking to this older real estate investor who has like a ton of money. He had a table at the club and Brittany and I were taking advantage of the bottle service.

Do y’all remember my story about Trevor, the guy I hooked up with when we were in high school? I saw him out and I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited to run into someone. I was walking back from the bathroom and he recognized me first.

“Reese?” he asked in a really surprised voice.

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed and threw my arms around him. “What are you doing here?”

“What?” he shouted back.

“How are you?” I asked.

Trevor pointed to his ear indicating that he couldn’t hear me so I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the bathroom corridor where it was quieter.

“What’s up? How are you? It’s so good to see you,” I said.

“It’s good to see you, too. You look great.” Trevor gave me an appreciative nod after glancing over my body.

We stood there for probably 10-15 minutes talking about life (can’t even remember what), and eventually he said his friends were leaving soon so he needed to get going.

“Okay, well we will talk soon, okay?” I said. And then we both leaned in and kissed each other. This lasted a couple of seconds and then Trevor grabbed my shoulders and pulled away.

“I was going to kiss you on the cheek,” he laughed. “I have a girlfriend and she has spies everywhere.”

“I was going to kiss you on the cheek, too!” I lied and then shrugged. “Sorry.”

I headed back to our table and to my surprise, Christian had showed up. I hadn’t invited him or told him where I was. I still jumped in his lap nevertheless.

“Oh my gosh, missed you!” I said kissing him, just two minutes after kissing Trevor.

We made out there for a little bit and then Brittany called us for a picture. I knew it would absolutely end up on Facebook within seconds, but I didn’t care. I flipped my hair over my shoulder and smiled big for her.

We stayed until the bouncers were literally kicking people out and then I demanded to go get food. IHOP was the only thing open which I was okay with. Christian, Brittany, Brittany’s man and I grabbed a booth and ordered half the menu.

“So, are you going to go back to Chicago and forget about me?” Christian asked me.

I shook my head. “Of course not. I’m going to visit so much. Just watch.”

But on the plane ride home, I realized that I was probably just wasting both of our time. I hate going to Houston, especially with my parents fighting like this.

So I’ve been kind of short with him since getting back and making every excuse to why I can’t FaceTime (but Brady being in the other room is actually a pretty valid reason).

Speaking of Brady, he wants to keep custody of Tucker and give me visitation rights which I think is so unfair. I’m the only one who ever takes Tucker out for walks and buys him things, Brady just plays with him sometimes when he gets off work. He has no idea about Tucker’s routine and what he likes. Why does he think Tucker should stay with him?

I asked and Brady rolled his eyes impatiently. “You can see him whenever you want. You can even keep your key. I’m not going to take Tucker from you.”

And I will definitely take him up on the offer to keep my key.

I’m so depressed. I don’t know how to get over this. I know it’s going to take time, but now it hurts so much that I don’t see how I’m going to make it. I thought Christian would be a good distraction and he was, but now I’m back to reality and in Chicago and in the same house as Brady and Christian couldn’t be farther away. And now I’m even more depressed with the holidays coming up and Brady’s birthday. I’m just like really sad. And I’m having trouble remembering what I was like and I did before Brady. He’s been such a huge part of my life and I’m kind of hoping this isn’t the end. 

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i have a confession.

I have a confession. Do y’all remember that guy, Christian, who I met when I was back home in Houston? Well, we’ve been keeping in contact. And I don’t know, I kind of like him. I think with Brady, I love that he inspires me to be better, to do better and to think (he coached me through all of the election shit). But Christian inspires me to be myself. I don’t like him and like, want to be with him (I love Brady), but I guess I’ve been caught up in our own little world.

I don’t why I’m like this y’all. Maybe I’m just not the kind of person who is made for a monogamous relationship. I don’t know when and where to draw the line. I enjoy talking to people. I love making people obsessed with me. I feel like I need that to thrive.

And when Brady caught wind of what was going on with Christian, he suggested we take a break. It wasn’t even that he was mad or frustrated at me, he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I protested, but he insisted and then he pulled out his laptop and started working.

So that’s what got me thinking that maybe something is just wrong with me. And I don’t know how to handle a real life relationship. I sent Brady an email apologizing, asking for forgiveness and assuring him that I wouldn’t do it again. He didn’t reply and then I figured maybe I do need time to think.

The next couple days we didn’t see each other and literally just slept in the bed together because we had to. On Saturday morning, Kendra and John invited us to brunch and we made plans to go like nothing was wrong. On our way there, Brady got a text message and actually smiled at his phone when he read it. He’d gone to a Cubs game the night before with friends (I had no right to ask with who) and I suddenly started to think, maybe he wants this break because he found someone else.

You know that lump you get in your throat when you want to cry, but you can’t? I kind of felt like I was in control of the situation prior to that, like yeah Brady had called for a break, but he was still obsessed with me and hadn’t asked me to move out because our break would be over soon, right?

I was a total mute at brunch and Kendra picked up on it.

“Reese, are you okay? You always have so much to say,” she said.

They all looked at me and Brady even gave me a little smile.

“How rude. Yes I’m okay. I’m just thinking about what I’m going to wear to the bar later,” I said.

That night I went to a bar with Lexi and Scott texted me. He had a friend in town from England and was showing him around River North. And so we ended up at the same bar.

“So nice to finally get to see you outside the confines of that office,” he greeted me.

I rolled my eyes.

“Wait, Reese, your boss is actually hot,” Lexi whispered in my ear.

I probably used to think Scott was hot, but now that I know him not so much. And that accent just doesn’t have the same affect on me that it has on other women.

The four of us hung out at the bar and I noticed that a ring-less Scott and Lexi seemed to be hitting it off. I was having fun so I didn’t care. Until I glanced over and saw Scott standing behind Lexi with his arms wrapped around her waist. Wait, what? And suddenly it dawned on me: maybe Scott isn’t obsessed with me or in love with me. Maybe I was just the closest hot girl he could have an affair with. And since obviously I wasn’t biting, he’d moved on to Lexi. Ew.

“Well I’m gonna go,” I announced.

And to my surprise, Lexi and Scott just waved me off. I called my Uber and went home. I don’t even know what I was feeling. Jealousy? Why was I so grossed out?

When I got home Brady was home and we hooked up. And then after we finished Brady announced that he was going to shower and sleep downstairs. What the fuck? Even though we’d been on a break, we were continuing to sleep in the same bed and even cuddling some nights. So I definitely felt rejected or like he regretted hooking up with me.

After Brady left I saw that Scott had texted me a couple times.

“Hey, where did you go?” and “I need to see you.”

Needless to say I didn’t respond to that.

On Sunday night, Brady and I went to a bar together to watch the game. I don’t know if I just needed to tell someone or what, but I blabbed to him what happened with Scott and Lexi.

“Wait, you met up with your boss at the bar?” he clarified.

“I mean, yeah…” I said, suddenly regretting my story.

Brady gave me a weird look. “Oh.”

“But he’s moved on to Lexi. He’s not interested in me anymore, thank God.”

Brady took a sip of his beer and didn’t say anything. He’s the one who wanted a break so how can he be upset about me hanging out with other people? Especially because I caught him texting Jessica. Jessica. And asking her where she was watching Game 6.

So I have another confession. I stopped taking birth control. And I haven’t told Brady. As far as I know we are still on this stupid break, but we’ve had sex several times. And this sounds bad, but I feel like if I get pregnant then he will have to be with me and not Jessica or whoever else. I say that because he went out the following Tuesday to watch the game, didn’t invite me and came home at almost 3:00 am. And then he immediately got in the shower before even coming to say anything to me. And that led me to believe he must have hooked up with someone. Right? Probably Jessica? Just the thought makes me want to jump off a bridge.

I don’t know. Relationships are stupid and hard. I want nothing more than to be with Brady for eternity. I know y’all don’t believe that and at this point he probably doesn’t either, and I don’t know how to express that to him. Especially since my actions haven’t exactly showed it. I’m so bad at this! And this is why I’ll never get married or be happy. I know everything I’m doing now is super stupid, but I seriously don’t know what to do. The thought of not being with Brady physically hurts.

**If you voted for Trump, please don’t read my blog anymore.

***Update: for those who were asking about the baseball player I dated for a little bit. He may have played for the other Chicago team🙂 and he is actually no longer on that team either. So no, he’s not a World Series champion now! 

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he’s worse than my actual boyfriend.

Hey y’all. Sorry for being MIA. So much to catch you up on though.

So Mike started being really nice to me at work, including me in everything and constantly asking for my opinion. And he was just like, softer. One day after a meeting, both of us stayed in the conference room kind of debriefing. And then he was telling me about how he became the senior vice president. How he’d sold mattresses right out of college and hated it even though he was really good at it. He realized that he wanted to do more. He wanted to elevate the company because he knew the potential was there. And after being given an opportunity to go work corporate, he increased sales of the entire company by 25% in just six months.

“How did you do that?” I asked.

“I thought like a consumer. That’s why a lot of companies don’t turn a profit. They think about the business, not about who makes the business. And you think like a consumer. That’s why you’re so successful here,” Mike said.

I nodded. “I mean, I am the ultimate consumer myself.”

Mike laughed. I’ve only seen Mike laugh or even smile a handful of times and never because of something I said or did. That conversation changed something. That evening after work, Mike texted me, “Nice talking to you today, Reese. And keep up the good work.”

The next morning Mike emailed me and asked me to stop by his office as soon as I got in.

“I want to see an increase in engagement,” he said as soon as I stepped in. “It’s not enough to just send email blasts everyday. Everyone’s doing it and no cares.”

I nodded. “Okay. So what did you have in mind?”

“You tell me. You’re the ultimate consumer.” Mike looked up at me and he actually smiled. He was actually treating me like a normal person who existed.

I walked out of Mike’s office and ran right into Scott, who was on his way in.

“Hey,” he greeted me. “Did you have a meeting with Mike?”

“Briefly. I can fill you in if you want,” I replied.

And I meant I could fill him in later after he finished his own meeting with Mike, but Scott followed me to my office right then. I felt kind of bad because it honestly wasn’t that important, but Scott is always the one saying he needs to know every time I talk to Mike and what we talked about. And then Scott sat in my office and proceeded to give me ideas for how to increase engagement for an hour.

Eventually I said, “If Mike wanted you to do this then wouldn’t he have asked you?”

Scott laughed, but I was totally serious.

Later on in the week, Scott invited me to lunch (on him) so I agreed. We mostly talked about some of the projects we’ve been working on and general company gossip (not about people, but about numbers and competitors).

And then Scott said, “You know, Mike really likes you. He thinks you’re doing really well.”

“Good. Mike’s opinion is important to me,” I said.

Scott smirked. “And mine isn’t?”

I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t say that. Everything isn’t always about you, Scott.”

“I know. I’m giving you a hard time. I hope you speak as highly of me when I’m not around too,” he said.

When we got back to our respective offices, Scott texted me, “For the record, I think you’re doing really well also. I’m glad to have you around.”

I said, “Thank you. Your opinion counts too. :-)”

Scott drunk texted me that weekend trying to get me to come meet him at the bar. I played with him for a little bit, pretending like I was going to come, until Brady wanted to know who was blowing up my phone. So then I felt bad and stopped texting back.

Scott’s last text message said, “I guess you aren’t coming. Fine. See you Monday.”

Jeez.

And so as soon as I saw Scott on Monday, I asked, “How was your weekend?” in front of everyone.

“Thank you, Reese. I had a nice weekend,” he said, avoiding eye contact.

And then when we both went to our respective offices, he texted me, “I wish I’d spent it with you though.”

Mike started giving me more assignments and responsibilities. I feel like he realized that I’m actually pretty smart and started trusting me to do things. He had a lunch meeting that ran late and texted me asking to start the company wide conference call. And one day he gave me his password so I could log into his account and text him some sales numbers while he was out of the office. Clearly he trusts me more than he trusts Scott if he’s giving me his password.

This went on for a couple weeks – Scott texting me when he was out and drinking, me responding by playing coy, but never actually meeting up with him. And Mike randomly asking me to come visit him in his office to give me new things to do or ask my opinion on things. Scott would text me all the time like, “What did Mike want?” or “Anything important?” Because I can’t talk to Mike without Scott knowing about it. He’s worse than my actual boyfriend.

One night Scott and I texted for several hours. We weren’t really talking about anything – drinking, bars, food, traveling. Nothing important. And then he said, “Can I tell you something honestly? With no repercussions?”

And of course I just wanted to know what his confession was so I said, “Sure.”

“I never expected to feel this way about you, but I really like you, Reese. More than I should. And I know I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I really want you to know.”

“I don’t know what to say…” was all I could think to respond.

“You don’t have to say anything. But I love you Reese.”

At this point I wanted to jump off a bridge. What the fuck? Why would Scott even think it was okay to say that to me? I suddenly regretted everything – meeting him at Starbucks, accepting a job offer from him, texting him and ever seeing him outside of work. I know it’s hard to hate me (🙂 ), but this was ridiculous.

Scott and I didn’t mention what he said again after that conversation, but we were both being nicer to each other. I tried to avoid him at work, but he’d send me meeting invites all the time and instant message me to ask if I was busy and did I work to get together to work? This sounds bad, but I was completely taking advantage of Scott’s confession. I knew that I could get my way at work no matter what. Whatever I requested, Scott said yes. And he was actually putting me in charge of things and giving me the responsibilities that I wanted so I couldn’t complain.

It was all fun and games until Brady went through my phone one night. Brady doesn’t ever go through my phone – like ever, so I didn’t think I had anything to worry about. But I’d given him my passcode so he could print something from my email and I guess Scott texted me while he had my phone. And Brady confronted me (Reese style) when I walked in the kitchen.

“Scott says he’s thinking about you,” Brady mumbled.

“Oh…”

“Are you having an affair with your boss, Reese?” he asked.

“No! Are you kidding?” I exclaimed.

“He said he’s in love with you. Isn’t he married?”

“Yes, but-”

“But what? I don’t understand how you’re going to try to talk your way out of this one.” Brady handed my phone to me and stormed out.

I followed him to the living room where he was pulling his laptop out. I sat down next to him on the couch.

“Listen, I know it looks bad, but it isn’t what you think,” I said.

“Reese, just leave me alone right now. I don’t care what you do,” Brady said.

I sat there watching him for a few minutes until I realized that he was right and that I was 100% in the wrong. I should have stopped Scott the moment he started making inappropriate passes at me.

Brady didn’t talk to me for the entire week and both of us spent a lot of time at work. I was frustrated with myself and also Scott, but only took it out on Scott. It was his fault for falling in love with me obviously. (And honestly, what made him think he was in love with me anyway? I’m nothing but a huge bitch to him and he really knows nothing about me at all outside of work).

One day Scott and I got in a huge disagreement about the way he runs his business. I obviously think I could do a much better job, but I also think there’s a ton of stuff I don’t know because Scott won’t teach me. He prefers to do everything himself and then makes me do stupid shit like organize files. And I like to remind him that I didn’t go into student loan debt to organize files.

“Scott, you’ll never get out of your current position if you don’t ever train anyone. You have to invest in your employees. If you don’t think I’m capable of handling this stuff then why did you hire me?” I said.

“I think you’re capable of doing my job and much more, Reese,” he said in his stupid accent.

“Then will you please let me actually do things? I’m not a child,” I said.

“I know you’re not a child. If you want to do more things, I’m more than happy to let you. Just let me know what you want to do and I will let you,” Scott said.

So I demanded to do everything hence why I was working my ass off and not spending much time at home. No complaints though.

Friday afternoon, I came home from work and Brady was already home and changed into regular clothes.

“Hey, Hunter is coming this weekend. I just thought I’d let you know,” he said.

“K,” I replied, passing him.

“I’m getting him from the airport now…if you want to come.”

I agreed and during the long drive to O’Hare on a Friday afternoon, we somewhat made up. I say somewhat because we argued about Scott for a little while before Brady finally changed the subject and we didn’t talk about it anymore. I was just glad that we were speaking again.

On Friday night, the three of us went to a couple of bars to hang out. Do y’all remember that red head chick Hunter met at Mariano’s last time he was here? I was shocked and confused when she showed up at the bar.

She skipped in and gave Hunter and big hug then said hi to me and Brady. I turned to Brady like, “What’s this broad doing here?” and he shrugged.

The ginger hung out with us all night until the last bar when she said she was calling it a night. And to my horror, Hunter turned to Brady and said, “I’ll meet you back at your place.”

I said, “Don’t you think you should just come with us right now?”

Hunter looked at me and then to Brady and then Brady looked at me and said, “Come on, let’s go to the bar.”

“He’s going to cheat on Dom, isn’t he?” I said as we walked away.

“It isn’t any of our business,” Brady said.

“Yes it is. Are you just going to let that happen?” I continued.

Brady ignored me and walked into the next bar. I was so disgusted by it all that I couldn’t even finish my drink and just watched while Brady kept drinking and making friends.

Hunter came home at like 7:30 the next morning. I heard Brady get up to buzz him in then get back in bed. And being the nosy bitch that I am, I got up to greet Hunter.

“Wow, walk of shame, huh?” I said.

Hunter grinned and shrugged.

“I thought you were better,” I said, honestly.

“You’ll understand when you’re married and have kids. It isn’t easy,” he said.

“It isn’t easy to not cheat on your spouse?” I clarified. “You know, last I checked it wasn’t hard to not be a shitty person.”

Brady appeared next to me. “Reese. Stop.”

Hunter looked at Brady and rolled his eyes like I was being crazy or ridiculous. And maybe I was. I don’t know why I was so concerned about him and his relationship, but I just thought about how Dom must feel being at home taking care of the children alone while her husband is having sex with some random woman in Chicago.

Brady wasn’t happy with me for confronting Hunter even though Hunter deserved it so I was not invited to hang out with them for the rest of the weekend.

I really need to get ready for work tomorrow, but I have so much more to tell y’all. So look for another post later this week! Love you!!!!!

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are we swingers?

Scott is driving me nuts. He’s just the worst. He’s avoiding me at the office – literally running out of any room I enter. Mike had me working on some new stuff so Scott was basically having Monica do my job. I saw her running around one day freaking out about how much work she had to do. 

And I asked, “Well, what are you doing? Do you need help?”

And she showed me a printed out email that Scott had sent her, asking her to do things like pull together sales data for September, figure bonus eligibility, create a spreadsheet to keep track. My job that I do every month without having to be told, obviously.

But I wasn’t about to drag Monica into the beef me and Scott obviously had so I just let her do it. One day Scott had a meeting with some kitchen and bath people here in Chicago and afterwards he was texting Monica about how it went and what was discussed. He didn’t mention anything to me though which is weird because I’m pretty sure Mike wanted both of us to take over the new kitchen and bath division.

A while later though, Scott texted me, “Any plans this evening?” 

Like are you kidding me? I replied, “Nope.”

The only time I’ve talked to him recently is when he texts me asking me about my plans outside of work. Or to ask if I’ve been to a particular bar and did I like it? Such a dick.

So I really wanted to have fun over the weekend and things got a little cray. On Friday night Brady went to the Cubs game and I was really bored so I went to Kendra’s. She’s finally starting to show a little bit. I brought over Shake Shack and some cream I ordered on Amazon that is supposed to prevent stretch marks. I’m such a great friend.

I was telling her about ring shopping and showing her the pictures I took and John walked in.

“Is Brady finally ready to seal the deal?” he asked.

“I think so,” I replied.

John just shook his head and I turned to Kendra like, “What is that supposed to mean?”

She started talking about the rings again. John is so annoying. Even though he’s known me longer, I just feel like he doesn’t think I’m good enough for Brady. Which is funny because I don’t think he’s good enough for Kendra. 

Brady’s ex, Anna, was in Chicago visiting their friend Lindsey so the four of us plus Lindsey’s boyfriend met up for a late brunch on Saturday afternoon. Brady and I haven’t seen much of Lindsey these past few months since she got in a relationship. 

Do y’all remember the time she got mad at me because I was supposedly flirting with the guy she had a crush on? Anna wouldn’t stop talking to Lindsey’s boyfriend. She wanted to know his whole life story and then would ask him what his opinion was about everything we talked about. Like, he will state his opinion if he wants to share it!  She was annoying me and I kept looking at Brady and Lindsey to see if they were offended and annoyed too, but they didn’t seem to notice or care.

After brunch, everyone came over to continue drinking. Brady and Lindsey were running the Chicago Marathon on Sunday so we decided to just have a couple drinks and not get too crazy. I thought Anna was kind of innocent and lame, but I knew when she asked what we had besides champagne to drink that she was my kind of girl. I brought her to the kitchen to show her the options and she suggested tequila shots. I suddenly loved her.

We stood at the counter talking for a little bit. She told me about her job. She does medical research at some lab and mentioned having to wear a lab coat and goggles and shoe covers. I was picturing that 90’s cartoon, Dexter’s Laboratory.
“But they let me wear jeans so it’s fine,” she shrugged.

She gestured to her outfit which consisted of tight designer jeans that were so low cut that a sliver of her pale white tummy was showing. And she actually has a cute little shape. Whenever I’ve seen her previously she’s wearing oversized sweaters or shift dresses so I had no idea that she had a waist and a butt. 

So Anna annoyed me a lot less after we hung out taking shots in the kitchen. She’s like Brady in that she uses words no one else ever uses, but she’s funny in a smart person kind of way. And she laughed at all my jokes so I figured I would let her stick around. We made drinks and headed back to the living room.

When we got back to the group, Lindsey and her boyfriend were heading out. I figured Anna would leave with her friends, but she stayed.

“Do you have any-” Anna asked Brady and I assume she must have made some sort of hand gesture, but I missed it by the time I looked at her.

I figured she was asking about weed and my suspicion was confirmed when Brady pulled out his little empty book that he keeps all his smoking supplies in.
So we smoked for literally two hours straight. And then we were just sitting there slumped on the couch not talking. Eventually, I fell over onto their laps and announced that I was starving.

“Yeah, Brady, do you have anything to eat?” Anna asked.

I looked up at them and he shrugged. He got up so then I was just laying on Anna’s lap. I recently colored my hair and she started touching it.

“I literally have the worst hair ever. Your hair is nice,” she said.

“Your hair isn’t bad,” I said truthfully. It’s obviously that she uses box dye and never gets salon blowouts or treatments, but she doesn’t need to because it has a nice natural wave.

Anna ran her hands through my hair until Brady got back with a Tupperware of fruit and the bottle of tequila we left out – clearly aware of where this party was going and trying to speed it up. 

“This is the only snack we have right now. Or I could make some chicken if you want,” he said.

Anna took the Tupperware from him and started eating pieces of pineapple and blueberries.

“Reese, do you want a strawberry?” she asked and I nodded. She pulled a whole strawberry out and put it in my mouth for me to bite. And then she looked at Brady, shrugged and giggled and then finished the strawberry herself. 

I wish y’all knew this girl and how out of character it seemed for her to be sexy like that. Like she’s a scientist. I could never even picture her and Brady having sex. I figured they never did.

I watched as she fed my boyfriend a pineapple and surprisingly I felt okay about it. Like, okay. We can have some fun here.

Anna continued feeding us and it got increasingly more erotic. I sat up and it just felt like Anna and I were putting on a show for Brady. We were sucking each other’s fingers and purposely being messy and ridiculous, but laughing the entire time.

“Okay, time for another shot,” I said eventually.

I jumped up to get shot glasses and when I got back, Brady and Anna had made a spot for me to sit in between them. 

After we took the shot, I threw my arms around Brady’s neck and we started making out. We pulled away and I looked at Anna to see her reaction. She was just watching us innocently. And then she smiled at me and I did the only thing that made sense. I leaned in to kiss her.

I can’t remember the exact details of how it happened, but Anna’s shirt was the first to come off. She wasn’t wearing a bra, but didn’t need to because she has the smallest tits I’ve ever seen. I would absolutely get my boobs done if I were her. 

“Take off your shirt, Brady,” she instructed and he did exactly as told. And then they leaned over me and started kissing.

Their make out sesh didn’t last very long at all and when they pulled away, Anna straddled me and started kissing me again. I really underestimated her. She’s obviously into freaky shit, but hid it well. She started giggling while kissing me so I pulled away and she took that as a cue to take off my shirt. I was wearing a bra though and she didn’t try to take that off.
Anna looked back at Brady and he glanced at her and then leaned down to me.

“I love you,” he said before kissing me and kissing my neck. It was weird. It was like he wanted me to know that he still loved me even though he was making out with his ex girlfriend. Like, “Yeah, this is fun and I’m not gonna say no, but I love you and you’re still the girl I’m going to marry.”

Brady moved from my neck to Anna’s neck and made his way down to her (nonexistent) tits and tummy. While he was kissing her, he had both hands on my chest, groping me. I guess he needed to use his imagination since she had nothing to work with. Honest, not mean.

Anna climbed off me and pushed Brady back on the couch. She leaned down in front of him and started undoing his pants. And Brady was sitting there with his mouth open like it was the best thing that has happened to him. That’s where I had to draw the line. This broad was not going to suck MY boyfriend’s dick with me right there. She wasn’t even allowed look at it.

I got up and walked to the bedroom, grabbing Brady’s hand on the way. They followed me to the bedroom and while Brady and I got in the bed, Anna took her pants off. She got on top of Brady while he and I made out. This lasted maybe another half an hour (all of us making out and occasionally touching each other) until we passed out. I rolled over and fell asleep first.

We had to wake up super, super early so Brady and Lindsey could meet for the marathon and Anna was already gone. I couldn’t help wondering what happened after I fell asleep.

“Oh my God,” I groaned as the memories of the previous night started coming back to me. “What did we do?”

Brady had just gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed. He looked like shit.

“That was completely not my idea,” he replied. 

“What happened after I fell asleep? Did you do stuff with her?” I asked suspiciously.

“No. I can’t remember falling asleep. She jumped up in the middle of the night and left.”

Brady left to meet up with Lindsey and I got up to meet with Kendra to get breakfast before we went to cheer for Brady and John. I ate twice as much as Kendra which is kind of embarrassing because she is pregnant. But whatever.

Apparently Brady spent the first hour of the race stopping every few minutes to vomit because he was so hungover. Brady is hardly ever hungover so I felt bad for him. It’s just not a good idea to get high and drunk and have a threesome the night before running 26 miles.

Later on in the day, we met up for food and drinks with Kendra, John, Lindsey, her boyfriend and Anna. I had to keep my scarf on during the entire meal because I had hickeys all over my neck. Remnants from our night of debauchery.

I have no regrets though. It was fun and I have no hard feelings toward Anna. However, I do think I’ll be a bit more interested to read the texts and emails that Brady and Anna exchange now. Just because I’m curious. I wonder how she feels about all of it. Brady and I haven’t mentioned it since Sunday morning. 

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guilt trip successful.

Brady and I went ring shopping. He mentioned going so I found a jeweler, made an appointment and sent him a Google calendar invite with all the details. We just needed to go get ideas though because apparently Brady’s family has their own jeweler. Like I just want a huge diamond in a vintage setting, is that so much to ask for? I want it to look like a 6 generation family heirloom even if it isn’t, you know? Or I’ll take a sleek modern platinum band with a large emerald cut center stone. I’m not picky.

Anyway, I was impressed with the questions Brady thought to ask. Not just, “How much?” but also things like, “Does the shape of the diamond affect the value?” and “Is it typical to upgrade the ring after a certain timeframe?” He’s so cute.

There were two rings that I fell in love with. One was like I mentioned before: emerald cut center with two smaller diamonds flanking it with an intricate band. It was seriously so beautiful, but almost too much for my little finger. The diamond was huge, but I feel like with a smaller, more wearable diamond it would just lose the effect. The second one was a basic cushion cut with a halo and a thin, plain band. I’m kind of over the whole halo thing everyone is doing now. They’re gorgeous, but I feel like it’s so unoriginal and so uninspiring at this point.

On our way home, I reminded Brady of all my proposal requirements. 1. Ask my dad/parents obviously. 2. Make sure someone is there to document the entire thing. 3. It can’t be done at our house. 4. I must have a fresh manicure at the time of proposal. Brady laughed and said he was well aware of my requirements. Because I’ve told him a dozen times.

A few of us from the office had to make a quick trip to New York at the beginning of the week. The group included Mike, his assistant, Scott and me along with the top person from my sales team and from Monica’s team. I finally cornered Scott about how he’s been treating me (like a child) and how I felt that I was not going anywhere with this company or my career and that my responsibilities are being taken from me. So he started easing up on me. 

I’m not sure what has gotten into me, but as soon as I landed on Monday morning, I texted Brady’s mom and let her know that I was in the city for a couple of days. And would they be around? Brady’s parents finally purchased a place in the Upper East Side, but are doing some renovations so still staying in a hotel when they’re there.

She responded and we made plans to get lunch on Tuesday before my flight. And I felt weird about it (why would I even text her?!) so I didn’t tell Brady right away.

Our first stop in New York was a kitchen and bath showroom in Brooklyn. We don’t specialize in kitchen and bath (beyond a customized backsplash or countertop or something), but Mike thinks it’s a huge growth opportunity. They took us on a mini tour first and Mike went on a more extensive tour while the rest of us sat in the waiting area drinking coffee and tea. Scott wouldn’t sit though because he was so concerned about what Mike was doing so the rest of us gossiped.

I was listening to a story about Monica taking a three hour lunch break when we all heard Mike shout, “Reese, can I get you over here for a minute?”

I looked around like, “Who, me?” because why would Mike need me of all people?

For an opinion, apparently.

“How do you think something like this would reasonate with our customers?” he asked me.

They were standing at a little bathroom set up. It was minimalistic and industrial, but was obviously country barn inspired with the dark, dark hardwood floors, stand up tub and angular pedestal sink with pipe-like legs. I thought about our customers – always requesting more mirrors, more details, more glitz. Lots of them were minimalists, but still wanted $18,000 Spanish chandeliers.

“You know,” I started. I couldn’t offend all these kitchen and bath people. “Our customers love modern with vintage inspiration. So good hardware and knobs, subway tile, intricate wallpaper…”

They all nodded.

“So I think certain elements of this we could work with, but this whole design wouldn’t work for our customers,” I said.

And after I gave them that piece of advice, they wanted me to finish the tour with them so I could tell them what else would work with our clientele. I felt like an expert which I guess to them, I was. We met back up the team in the waiting area and Scott was practically jumping out of his pants with anticipation.

As we were exiting the showroom, Mike said, “Scott, I want you and Reese to spearhead this operation. She will get you up to speed on what we talked about and the ideas we brainstormed.”

Scott was all like, “Of course, Mike. I can’t wait to hear about it and get started,” and I couldn’t help rolling my eyes.

Mike interrupted him and said, “Is anyone else starving? I can’t survive on just three cups of coffee.”

I kind of felt bad for Scott because he really was super excited and Mike dismissed him. So I smiled at him and he gave me this strange look.

Mike took us to lunch even though we had a lunch meeting later in the afternoon. And since we’d already eaten and weren’t hungry, we just drank wine at the meeting. I was a little surprised by how much Mike was trying to include me in everything. Asking for my opinion and saying, “Reese, did you get that? We will have to discuss it more when we get back to Chicago.” It was almost like I’d had that career conversation with him and not with Scott.

Apparently Scott noticed too though. Mike went back to Jersey for the night and the rest of us headed back to the hotel in Manhattan. Scott and I ended up a few feet behind the group and he said, “Mike was nice today, huh? He seems to really be including you. I’m sure he sees the potential in you like I do.”

“Yeah,” was all I could think to say.

“Unless… You think it’s something else?” Scott said.

“Hmm?” I said, looking at him confused.

“I mean, I don’t know.” Scott shrugged with his hands in his pockets. “He’s told me he’s having marriage problems. Perhaps, you know, he’s crushing on someone in the office.”

I was so caught off guard and disgusted by what Scott said. Did he really think Mike would only want to include me in things because he had a crush on me? Like fuck you. And last I checked, Scott was the one who was claiming marriage problems and then inappropriately inviting me out for drinks outside of work.

I laughed and then I stormed off because I didn’t want to cause a scene. I half expected Scott to text me and apologize or invite me to the hotel bar or something, but I didn’t hear from him all night. I was so pissed off that I had to call Brady to vent.

“I think your best – and probably only – option would be to prove to Scott that there’s a reason Mike wants your input. And it’s not just because you’re incredibly hot,” Brady said. 

And he was so right. So the next morning I got up and chugged a 20 oz Red Bull, preparing to kill it.

“Sleep well?” Scott asked when I walked down to where we were meeting in the hotel lobby.

“Yep,” I said, curtly.

“Great. So our agenda is pretty packed today, but I thought I’d take everyone to my favorite Italian restaurant for lunch. It’s phenomenal, the best Italian food outside of Italy,” Scott said.

“I didn’t plan on spending my lunch break with y’all so I already have plans with my boyfriend’s parents,” I said, deliberately not apologizing or sounding apologetic.

“Oh! Of course. I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you,” he said.

I walked away. I ignored Scott for the rest of the morning which only made him try to get me to talk to him more. Whenever he would come stand near me, I would walk away and reply, “Yeah,” to whatever he said. I know it was childish and petty, but it was that or throw a tantrum which I’m not above doing. Just not in front of Mike.

Scott did remind me of my lunch date with Brady’s parents though. He walked up next to me and asked what time I was meeting them and where and I looked down at my watch and realized I should get going. Which sucked because Mike was about to start splitting up the work for when we got back to Chicago. I excused myself and Scott said, “She’s got plans with her future in-laws,” and smirked at me. I rolled my eyes at him.

Mike looked surprised and almost offended that I was splitting from the group, but on my way to the restaurant he actually texted me saying, “Do you need me to send a car to pick you up?”

Mike has only texted me a couple times. But they were group texts and obviously written by his assistant. So it was weird as fuck. But I texted him back saying that I’d meet them at the airport.

Brady’s mom was waiting for me at the restaurant. Just his mom. She was sitting there looking displeased wearing a navy cowl neck top and her hair pulled back.

“Oh, hello,” she greeted me, not sounding particularly happy to see me. But she still stood up and hugged me.

I was really happy to be in work mode, wearing the most modest black shift dress and pumps. I always feel so much taller than her when I wear heels.

“So what brings you to the city?” she asked.

I told her about work and or group, leaving out the Scott drama obviously. Like I said, I was in work mode so I sounded really no nonsense and articulate and like, not stupid. I think it surprised her. And so she was actually interested in what I said and we had an intelligent conversation about the industry.

And then, abruptly, she asked, “When do you and Brady plan on coming to Massachusetts to meet with our pastor?”

It caught me so off guard. I just looked at her.

“I’ve been telling him, just find a weekend when neither of you have plans. Surely you can skip partying for one weekend, can’t you?”

So much for bonding.

“Of course we can,” I said.

“I really wish Brady would visit home more. It’s not like Hunter can with the babies and all… So if Brady could… or would, rather. He’s completely capable,” she said.

I sensed she was trying to guilt trip me into guilt tripping him so I said, “Well, he has been working a lot lately. Even on the weekends.”

She gave me a look like, “Did I ask for your input?”

“And if he plans on taking up a career that’s going to require more from him, he needs to take advantage of his free time now. We won’t be around forever. You understand that, don’t you darling?”

“I’ll talk to him,” I responded. Guilt trip successful.

“How’s your mother?” Brady’s mom asked.

“She’s doing well. I just saw my parents last weekend,” I said, making a point to inform her that I still go back and visit home.

“Are she and your father still living separately?” Brady’s mom had pulled out her phone and glasses and wasn’t looking at me. Her ring caught my eye. Huge diamond, unique setting and obviously had been upgraded at some point.

I told my mom not to tell Brady’s mom about she and my dad’s issues so I was instantly annoyed with her. I started wondering just how much my mom had told.

“Um, temporarily yes. I’m sure they’ll figure something out,” I said.

“What exactly is the problem?” she pried.

“I don’t know. It’s not really my business to talk about.”

Brady’s mom sat her phone down and took off her glasses. “Well, she did agree that you and Brady should get married in Massachusetts. We have a more solid church background and obviously our pastor will need to officiate. That is, if you and Brady still plan to get married?”

Brady and I are not getting married in Massachusetts. That was never a part of any plan. Poor thing. Brady and I are leaning more and more towards a destination wedding that no one is invited to. 

I smiled and said, “Okay.”

When I left the restaurant, Brady had called me and texted me asking how it went.

“Your mom wants you to visit home more. She almost started crying at the table because she misses you,” I replied.

Then I called my mom.

“Hi babe!” she answered.

“Mom, why did you tell Brady’s mom about you and Dad? Now she thinks I’m from some broken home,” I said.

“I didn’t tell her anything about me and Dad. Do you think I want that woman judging me?” my mom said and I believed her. She feels the same way about Brady’s mom that I do.

Which meant the only other person who could have told her is Brady. He barely even talks to his mom so why would he share my family’s business with her?

I texted him, “Why would you tell your mom about my parents? Now she’s never going to let us get married.”

He didn’t text me back right away so I called an Uber to take me to the airport. I fell asleep on our flight back to Chicago and proceeded to have a sick dream about going on a picnic with Scott and then making out all over the picnic blanket. Brain, can you stop? I’m not attracted to Scott whatsoever, but in that dream I was.

Brady denied telling his mom anything and suggested that she came to the conclusion herself.

“She probably didn’t even know if it was true until you confirmed it,” Brady said.

“Is she really manipulative like that?” I asked.

And he said, “Yeah.”

Bitch.

Brady’s mom claimed that Hunter was too busy with his kids and wife to visit, but he visited over the weekend. They partied really hard (stayed out until 4 AM on both Friday and Saturday night), but hung out with me during the day. Hunter needed to vent about how hard having two babies is and how hard it is to keep his wife happy now. While I wanted to be supportive, I wanted to tell him to shut up because that’s going to be me and Brady’s life in just a couple years. 

Hunter is the kind of guy that every girl lusts over (I mean, he’s 6’3 with a beard and a manbun) so women always stare at him when he’s out in public. But I was really surprised and insulted when a girl at the grocery store started flirting with him and he flirted back. I get that Dom is probably not the most pleasant wife to have, but he still has to be faithful to her.

This beautiful petite redhead came up to Hunter and asked him about almond milk and then proceeded to preach her vegan beliefs. Brady and I continued on with our shopping figuring Hunter would catch up with us, but by the time we were done, he still hadn’t. And we found him still by the almond milk talking to the ginger girl. Their body language had changed: she had one hand on her hip and one in her hair while he was standing with his arms crossed and feet apart like a bouncer or something.

“What the fuck are they talking about?” I asked and Brady shrugged.

I thought I needed to go over and mention Hunter’s wife (they don’t wear rings, mind you), but before I could, Brady said, “Hey Hunter, we are headed out.”

So who knows if Hunter met up with the beautiful redhead while they were out until 4 AM that night.

Brady and I are going to Arizona to see some of my friends later this month. I’m sure it’s going to be a mistake (especially since I’m not drinking), but we will see. I love Arizona besides all the drama.

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where is he finding all these hot girls?

I was in Houston last weekend. Brady had a ton of work to do so he didn’t come with and this kind of sounds bad, but it was a relief to have a break from him for a little while. I’m sure he felt the same way. And Tucker too. Taking care of a needy dog 24/7 is tough. Obviously by the end of the weekend I was ready to come home to them though.

I didn’t want to decide whether to stay at my mom or my dad’s so I just got a hotel downtown and Brittany insisted on staying with me for the weekend. She doesn’t live too far from the hotel, but I think she’s finally starting to realize that she doesn’t have any friends. So she’s clinging on to me. Funny.

I got dinner with my mom on Friday when I landed.

“Y’all are really serious about getting married,” was one of the first things she said. “Good thing you finally found someone. I was a little worried for a while.”

She tried to make it sound like a compliment, but it totally wasn’t. Before I got a boyfriend, she was constantly badger me about finding one and warning me that I’d be single forever. That’s how southern moms are. Life is not complete until you find a husband and start having babies. So then she’d try to hook me up with any and every single guy she came across. Thanks, mama.

The rest of dinner she just wanted to discuss my dad. She wanted to know if I’d talked to him, what he had said, where he was, who he was with, etc. My mom thinks he’s dating someone. That would be a shitty thing to do and my dad is actually a really, really good person. My mom seemed pretty adamant though so I decided to do my own investigation later.

On Saturday, Brittany had plans for us to go to a rooftop party during the day. I wore a tank top bodysuit, One Teaspoon shorts and wedges so I’d fit in with all the other basic bitches at the party. Texas is so tacky and I love and hate that about it.

As soon as we arrived at the party, Brittany introduced me to a guy named Christian. He was tall with an athletic build – similar to my ex – with a neat beard. He was dressed like Kanye West though. Longline t-shirt, ripped up skinny jeans, a Houston Astros hat, and high top sneakers. I was intrigued. One thing I wish about Brady is that he’d be more edgy and daring. The most daring thing he does is sometimes wear crew socks with his sneakers. So that’s why I shop for him sometimes.

This guy Christian is really into the arts. And after talking to him, I realized that I am too. I used to paint. Not anything serious or great, but talking to Christian made me realize how much I miss it. I feel like I don’t really have any hobbies or passions and that makes me feel unfulfilled. Does anyone else feel that way? Christian paints too and also produces music so it was nice to talk about that and I was actually surprised about how much I could attribute to our conversation. I normally talk a lot, but I just couldn’t stop talking. Usually I don’t have that much to talk about unless it’s about Kim Kardashian’s outfits or my favorite things to mix with tequila.

While I was talking to Christian, Brittany sent me two texts. One of them was a winking emoji and the other said, “I knew you would like him.”

She’d walked away at the beginning of our conversation and I hadn’t seen her since. I put my phone away and hung out with my new friend for the rest of the party. He’s really popular with the girls (he’s beautiful to look at so I’m not surprised) so everyone stopped him to talk.

We spent the majority of the day together and when it was time to leave, he invited me and Brittany back to his studio. I was going to say no, but Brittany said, “Yeah, come on. Let’s go.”

So I figured I could hang out for a little while longer. We all hopped in Brittany’s Mercedes SUV and headed over there. Christian poured sangria and we sat around his concrete island talking. I realized that I hadn’t mentioned Brady at all and I didn’t want Christian to get the wrong idea. So I started talking all about my boyfriend.

Brittany scrunched up her nose. “But y’all aren’t that serious, right?” She turned to Christian and shrugged.

“Uh, yes,” I said back. “He’s proposing soon.”

She smirked at me. “No he isn’t.”

“How would you know?” I shot back.

She took a sip of her sangria and looked at me over the glass. “I just know.”

She’s so annoying. She got a call and Christian suggested we paint. I agreed. It was actually really fun and therapeutic and random, but it didn’t seem random. It seemed so normal to be sitting there painting in my bodysuit and wedges.

Uninspired, I painted the scene from Christian’s windows which was buildings, a park, a pool and the night sky. I didn’t quite finish, but it turned out really nice and he insisted on keeping it. I hope I get famous from it.

Christian and I had already exchanged numbers earlier in the day so we didn’t have to deal with that when it was time to leave. He did say, “Hit me up, beautiful.”

Ugh. I thought we established that I had a boyfriend who was about to propose. But then I thought about what Kendra once told me, that just because a guy is being nice and complimenting you, it doesn’t mean he’s hitting on you. And I think that’s probably true, although guys would never ever turn down sex if the opportunity presented itself. But that’s another conversation.

Brittany wanted to go out that night, but I was just not feeling it. Nights out with Brittany are always a shitshow and I didn’t want to get that crazy without Brady around to babysit me.

So instead, I met up with my dad for food at around midnight. He’s so sweet. He swung by and picked me up from the hotel and then we headed to the restaurant.

“So how does it feel to live completely alone?” I asked.

“I haven’t spent much time at home, to be honest with you-” he began.

“Where have you been spending all your time?” I cut him off.

“I’ve been working, Reese. I can invest a lot more time into work now so that’s what I’ve been doing.”

“Oh,” I nodded. “Are you dating?”

My dad looked at me like I was crazy. “Dating? No.” And then he kind of chuckled. “Did your mother tell you that?”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Perhaps ask her if she’s dating anyone. I think that’s the better question,” my dad said.

Do you see how petty and ridiculous my parents have become? So after leaving on Sunday, I realized I don’t want to go back while they’re like this.

Scott has been driving me absolute nuts. I had a couple more dreams about him (ugh), but have been mostly keeping my distance. He’s been giving me stupid bitch work to do and basically doing my job for me. It’s frustrating. He will have me do something stupid like alphabetize files and then he give me obviously tips like, “Put them in order before writing the names. That way if you make a mistake, it’s easy to fix.” Like duh, Scott. I’m smarter than I look. And obviously I don’t respond well to that. Then when we leave work for the day he will text me saying, “Good job today. You always amaze me.”

I want to strangle him. The other day, Mike stopped by my office on his way out and just kind of chatted with me. He was asking about my weekend, where I’m from and even about my hair. It was cute. As soon as Mike’s foot stepped off my office carpet, Scott texted me.

“Were you just talking to Mike?”

Stalker much?

I replied, “Yes,” and Scott said, “What did he want?”

I can’t tell if Scott is obsessed with me or obsessed with Mike, but leave me alone. I didn’t text back and Scott stopped by my office, of course.

“Hey,” he said, looking all nonchalant with his hands in his pockets. “What did Mike say?”

I didn’t even look up. “He just wanted to say hi. He’s a real human being, you know. Sometimes he just wants to be nice.”

Scott caught my drift and left me alone. I just can’t deal with him. I feel like soon, I’m just going to let him have it and it won’t be pretty.

Y’all will be happy to know that I haven’t gone out much in the last couple of weeks (there’s a reason why) and honestly, it’s nice. I’ve saved so much money.

Brady went out on Saturday night with some guy friends and I stayed home with Tucker and watched the Food Network. Brady and I had gone grocery shopping earlier in the day so I had a ton of snacks and I really can’t think of a better way to spend Saturday night.

Brady came stumbling in at 3:00 am and it pissed me off because he woke me up.

“I missed you, baby,” he said after he’d taken off his shirt and tried to get in bed with his jeans on.

“Ugh, get off me,” I said, shoving him. “Take off your clothes first.”

Brady laughed and got undressed and then we fell asleep.

His phone started ringing at 6:30 am. First, he got the three calls back to back and then a bunch of texts. His phone was just sitting on the nightstand so naturally I picked it up. Who would be blowing up his phone at 6:30 in the morning?

Apparently some girl named Aubrey. Are you kidding me? I was cranky from being woken up twice so I shook Brady so hard that he probably thought he was waking up to an earthquake.

“What?” he groaned, turning away from me.

“Who is Aubrey and why is she calling you right now?” I demanded.

“I don’t know,” he said.

And since he didn’t know, I decided to find out.

Aubrey’s texts said:

“Hey, where are you?”

“Are you still out?”

“Where can we meet? My phone is about to go dead.”

This is me, so I was thinking the worst. Like that Brady was meeting up with this broad for sex or a blowjob for money. I mean, I didn’t know.

So I texted back, “Brady’s sleeping and he’s not meeting you anywhere. Probably delete this number too. Thanks for your cooperation, Aubrey.”

Immediately, Aubrey responded, “He has my keys. I can’t get into my apartment.”

“Why does he have your keys?”

“Because I couldn’t bring my purse into the bar and I asked him to hold them for me. Where exactly are you? I’ll come get them. My phone is on 4%.”

And I don’t know what’s happened to me, but I actually felt bad for the girl so after I went through Brady’s pockets and found her keys, I told her she could come by and get them. I even ignored the fact that she was a hot, leggy mixed girl with big lips that were natural unlike Tia’s. Where is Brady finding all these hot girls?

Anyway, I have things to paint and conference calls to get on so ciao!

 

Standard

i’m not engaged.

I was very excited to get out of Chicago for the weekend. Especially because I ran into Tia at Target when I was getting some of my travel toiletries. She was standing in the toiletry aisle with a female friend and my first reaction was to say, “Hey, how are you?”

She smirked at me and I saw her raise her eyebrows through her sunglasses. “Hey.”

I squeezed past her to grab some deodorant and when I looked up an older white man was walking down the aisle toward us. Her sugar daddy I assume.

“Did you ladies find what you were looking for?” he asked them.

Tia threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. It was loud.

Just as she was telling him that she had found everything, I said, “It was nice seeing you. Bye!”

She gave me what looked like a satisfied smile. “Bye.”

Am I fake? Why did I talk to her like we are cool or something? I must have temporarily forgotten the unfinished business we had. But as soon as I left the aisle I texted Brady, “I just saw Tia with her sugar daddy. He’s hideous, but so is she.”

Brady said, “Lol, where?” and I didn’t respond because who cares.

Anyway, we left for the beach on Friday morning, but I’d waited until Friday morning to pack so we almost missed our flight. Y’all probably think Brady is the most patient person in the world, but he really isn’t. He hassled me about packing all evening, physically began putting things in my suitcase to encourage me to start on Friday morning and then he called our Uber while I was still in the shower. So rude.

Brady arranged a cute little cottage through Airbnb even though his aunt and uncle have a large house that the family usually stays in. Since it was a family trip, the house was going to be way too full for our liking. On Friday night the plan was to go to the aunt and uncle’s for dinner and wine. With all of Brady’s family.

At first, I thought it was just Brady’s dad side of the family. So Landon, Logan, Brady’s pretentious aunts, etc, but then I saw Brady’s Aunt Kat! The one I met in Florida. She was the first person I saw when we walked into Brady’s aunt and uncle’s house and I was really confused.

“Hi Brady! You two!” she said. It was obvious that she’d forgotten my name.

They hugged and then she reached out to hug me. Brady’s parents weren’t supposed to be there, but after seeing Aunt Kat I was a little freaked out that they would show up. I was not mentally prepared to see them.

Everyone was hanging out in the dining room so we made our rounds. We saw Landon, who of course, was double fisting beer. He looked like a huge pink, wet ball and I was not impressed. We also saw Landon’s brother, Logan, who had brought a date. Logan is so much better than Landon and it’s weird to me that they are brothers.

Anyway, all of Brady’s aunts are those haughty Upper East Side women who have vacation homes all over the east coast. Maybe I’d be the same way if I were them, but it got real old, real fast. As they were opening the wine, they seriously discussed the years the grapes were harvested for each bottle and what was going to go well with the oysters. Like bitch, give me a Two Buck Chuck from Trader Joes and I’m good to go. And as a matter of fact, fuck your oysters and give me mozzarella sticks. It was annoying.

We sat down at the dining room table and had oysters, a cheese board (Logan’s girlfriend brought it. Sucking up to the aunts) and wine. Landon was starting med school so everyone wanted to know how that was going. If that idiot is in med school, then I totally could have gone to med school.

After dinner, most of us headed out to the patio to continue drinking. Kat and one of Brady’s other aunts were pretty tipsy and started talking about sex (intercourse), blow jobs (fellatio) and dicks (cocks). It was funny and entertaining at first but I think all of us younger people were relieved when they decided to go to a bar. Especially Landon. Can you imagine your mother talking about giving head in front of you? The only time my mom has really mentioned anything like that to me was toward the end of my parents relationship when she told me that she and my dad were no longer having sex. And I was just thinking, “Wow Mom, you could have left that detail out.”

After all the “grown ups” were gone, Brady, Landon and Logan decided to smoke. I wasn’t gonna, but then when they pulled all the materials and stuff out, I figured why not.

About an hour later, we were all sitting out on the patio, stoned out of our minds. We were just staring at each other and the water. The patio door opened and this tall, hot brunette walked out. She was wearing white shorts, a thin off the shoulder sweater, knee high boots and a choker. She actually looked a lot like my friend, Brittany. Landon glanced at Brady and started grinning like The Joker.

“Hi y’all!” she exclaimed. I (thought I) loved her immediately.

Landon was the first to say anything, obviously.

“Sara! What the fuck! I didn’t know you were coming!” He stood up to hug her.

Brady stood up to greet her next and her eyes lit up.

“Oh my gosh!” she said as they hugged. “Brady!”

When they pulled away, she kept her hands on his biceps. “How have you been? I miss you.”

I realized that something weird must have been going on because Brady immediately turned back to me without acknowledging what she said. “This is my girlfriend, Reese.”

Not wanting to seem like a bitch, I stood up to shake her hand. With her heeled boots on, she was about an inch or two taller than Brady.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” I said.

She pulled me into a hug. “You’re beautiful.”

Sara sat down and Landon started firing off questions. Apparently she’s a local news reporter and Landon seemed so fascinated by it. At one point, I pulled out my phone to check some texts and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Landon wag his finger between Brady and Sara. I looked up and Landon quickly put his hand in his lap and smiled sheepishly. I glared at him.

Sara didn’t stay much longer, but before she left, she pulled out her phone and suggested she and Brady exchange numbers. She wasn’t even out of the house when I demanded to know what was going on.

“What? What do you mean?” Brady asked, looking all confused.

“Landon is a fucking shit starter and he kept making all these faces. Don’t try to lie,” I said through clenched teeth.

Brady made a big show of glaring at Landon then turning back to me looking defeated. “I guess she and I had a thing.”

“What do you mean?” I needed to know.

“Nothing serious. We slept together a few times.”

“Who didn’t you fucking sleep with? Literally the only requirement is a warm, wet pussy!” I hissed.

“Reese, would you stop?” he said sternly.

“And why does she want your number now?”

“I don’t know!”

“Well, don’t talk to her.”

“Okay, I won’t.”

You know what though? I can’t blame Sara for wanting to rekindle things with Brady. He’s hot and he’s lowkey, but he’s so amazing in bed. I was just thinking about it recently. Dick made of gold as Preston would say. I am freaking obsessed with him.

After our fight about Sara (and all the weed), I was ready to call it a night. We stopped and got a ton of shitty junk food, took it back to the Airbnb, and then ate until we passed out.

The next morning, Brady woke me up early because he had plans for us to go out in a boat. Naturally, I thought he’d be proposing so I took forever to get ready, making sure I looked perfect and photo ready. I wore a Free People dress, Jeffrey Campbell booties and my hair half up in a bun (kind of trendy for the photos, but it was cute).

Brady didn’t propose. I realized he wasn’t going to when he opened his fourth beer. Brady is not the kind of guy who is going to propose to his girlfriend while drunk. No matter how nervous he was. And he didn’t seem nervous or anxious at all. Just another day for him. I was annoyed that I’d gotten so cute, but still made Brady take a ton of pictures with me and of me anyway.

Immediately after the boat, Brady wanted to go meet Landon and another cousin at the bar. Obviously I didn’t want to hang out with Landon more, but I did want to drink with my man so I agreed.

When I walked in Landon said, “Why are you wearing a prom dress?”

I don’t think I’ve ever been more insulted in my life.

“Why are you so fat you can’t find you dick?” I said back.

I’m sorry, but I hate Brady’s cousin. He deliberately tries to piss me off and almost like scare me away, and I’m just not the one to play that shit with. Landon laughed, but Brady exclaimed, “Reese!”

“Relax, baby B,” Landon said laughing and putting his arm around my shoulders. “Me and the girl are just kidding around with each other.”

I wasn’t kidding, but I guess we could pretend it was all for fun. We hung out at the bar for a little while before Brady and Landon decided they wanted to go smoke on the beach. I wasn’t too enthused about going to the beach with my prom dress on, but I also didn’t want to go back to the cottage and spend the night alone. So I tagged along.

We met up with one of Logan’s attorney friends – another tall, hot American jock, JFK kinda dude. He turned out to be a huge douche though. He and Landon took turns calling Brady a pussy and making fun of him for being skinny. Brady’s been working out so he isn’t even that skinny.

Eventually I got tired of it though and I said, “Would y’all shut the fuck up?”

“Oh, babe,” Landon said, pouting at me. I don’t think Landon has ever acknowledged me by name. “You can’t protect Brady from this.”

“You’re actually so annoying. I’m sure you already know that,” I said.

“I do. And I’m sure you already know that Brady is only with you because you’re kind of hot,” Landon said.

The attorney laughed and Brady sighed. Landon and the attorney pounded fists and Brady looked at me apologetically.

“Bern, shut the fuck up,” he said.

“Fuck, dude. I’m kidding,” Landon said.

We continued walking and no one said anything while Landon lit up the weed. When it was my turn, Brady helped me light the bowl because he’s a gentleman and it takes some coordination. I don’t even like smoking but I felt like I had to to deal with them.

When we finally got down to the beach and after a long time of silence, Landon said, “You know who is really hot though? Sara.”

None of us said anything so Landon continued. “And she would still totally let you tap that.” He clapped Brady on the shoulder.

Brady gave Landon a deadly glance then looked over at me and I rolled my eyes. Landon went on for a little while longer, objectifying Sara and trying to get Brady to chime in. I was sick of fighting with Landon, but I wasn’t about to just stand there and listen. So I announced that I was leaving and began walking away. I heard Brady tell them he had to go, Landon call him a pussy and then Brady come after me.

Later that night, after we’d eaten and hooked up, I went through Brady’s phone. I don’t care. And Sara had texted him.

“It was so nice to see you.🙂 I’d love to grab a coffee with you tomorrow,” she said. Tomorrow would have been Saturday – when Brady and I spent the entire day together.

He replied, “It was nice to see you also. I hope you enjoy your stay.”

So fuck Landon. Brady wasn’t about to “tap” Sara again. Landon is seriously the worst. When we were on the beach he said something like, “My father owns this beach so if you don’t like what I have to say then you can fuck off.” He wasn’t talking to me directly, but what a shitty, privileged thing to say. Everything that’s wrong with America, to be honest.

Anyway, my birthday was last week. Brady planned a dinner with my friends which was so cute and sweet because no one told me. Pregnant ass Kendra was there with John, Preston, Luke, my new friend Ava and her man, my old coworker Leah and even my fucking mother. She’d flown into Chicago the Monday before, but when I realized that Brady had arranged this whole dinner, I thought for sure he was proposing. My mom doesn’t come visit me just for my birthday anymore. Again, I put on my nicest dress and had my mom help me with some falsies.

But nope. Still no proposal. After dinner, I asked my mom if she knew anything about Brady’s plans to propose to me. She said no and my mom is a terrible liar so I knew she was telling the truth.

Brady’s parents sent me a gift. A set of brass measuring spoons. Super chic and vintage and I appreciate the thought. I emailed his mom saying thank you and she did not respond at all.

On my birthday I got a delivery of flowers and donuts to the office. I assumed it was Brady even though it wasn’t his style. The donut box had “Scott” written on it in Sharpie so then I figured it was my dad. It made sense. Since my mom had flown in, he felt like he needed to compete so he sent flowers and donuts. But after I read the tiny card attached to the bouquet, I realized it was from my boss, Scott.

“Thank you for everything you do.”

For a few days after our night out, Scott texted me all the time – about work and about life in general. He asked me to hang out a couple times, but I declined, claiming to have plans with Brady. He didn’t stop trying though.

Monica came in my office and saw the flowers.

“Pretty. Are they from Brady?” she asked.

And it kind of embarrassed me that they actually weren’t from Brady and that he didn’t send me anything. I went ahead and lied and said they were though. Scott had sent a whole dozen donuts and I wasn’t going to finish them all so I ripped off the top that had his name written on it and left it in the break room for everyone.

I texted him saying thank you and he replied, “You’re welcome. And happy birthday.”

I didn’t say anything else and he added, “I owe you a drink. I’m sure you have plans tonight, but later this week?”

I said, “That’s probably not a good idea.”

I’m sure I could’ve found a way to sound my confident and sure of myself, but I still have to work for this man so I wanted to let him down gently.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have asked,” Scott said.

But just over the weekend he texted me saying, “Come to the bar. There’s a margarita here with your name on it.” So obviously he doesn’t care that it’s inappropriate.

Even though I haven’t done anything with Scott, I must feel guilty in some way because I had a dream the other night about making out with him at the office and his wife stopping by. We pulled away just before she caught us, but I was sitting on his desk and he was standing between my legs. The wife cried and the rest of the dream was just her sobbing. I woke up feeling really guilty even though Scott and I have never kissed or done anything like that. Ew. She stopped by the office in real life last week, the day after my birthday. Scott was putting on this big show, hugging her and being all affectionate even though I have texts from him saying that they are both checked out of their marriage.

Anyway.

My mom just moved to downtown Houston. My dad bought a 3 bedroom house in the suburbs and told my mom she was welcome to stay there if she needed to, but she went off and did her own thing. Good for her I guess. They’re both refusing to file for divorce and I think I’m secretly hoping they’ll work it out. Who wants to be a single divorcee at that age? It’s just so depressing.

Over the weekend, we had a couple people over for Labor Day. I didn’t want to, but people started texting us asking what we were doing and if they could come over? We’re just so popular. So we went to the grocery store and spent $300, grilled, ate and smoked all day. Brady and I bailed on the party to go hook up and then fell asleep and when we woke up, everyone was gone. I guess we are getting old. I’m 27 now. It’s so fucking weird. Can you believe when I started this blog I was only 24? So much has changed. Back then I was hooking up with everyone in sight (my intern?!) and now I’m hoping my boyfriend will put a ring on it soon. So crazy.

Standard

i hate when you do this.

I told y’all that Brady and I have both been working a lot. I feel like when Brady starts working a lot I get really upset. I’m so needy. But on top of that, he wasn’t really responding to my texts very much. Or would just be short and dismissive. Rude! I whined to him on Friday evening when he got home (at 9:30 PM).

“Do you even care about me?” I greeted him at the door.

Brady looked startled. “What?”

“Do you care? We haven’t spent any time together in forever!” I continued.

He relaxed a little bit. “I’m sorry. It’s not intentional. I’ve taken on a bit more at work.”

“That’s what you always say,” I pointed out, not satisfied with his answer.

“I know. It isn’t an excuse. I’d spend every second with you if I could,” Brady said.

Obviously that wasn’t entirely true, but it was enough for me and we made plans to spend some quality time together (with Craig) that evening. We went to a bar and got chicken strips, fries, and quesadillas to eat along with beer and margaritas. After we overstayed our welcome, we walked next door to the next bar and took a few shots. Craig actually wasn’t getting on my nerves much, mostly because he was trying to pick up the bartender which left me to spend some alone time with my man.

Brady and I were talking about work. Brady was mentioning possibly putting himself up for research roles since that’s what he’s wanted to do. I told him that if he needed to relocate for a new job, I’d go with him. I mean obviously. And then we can start a family.

We went to another bar where we ran into another of Brady and Craig’s friends, who was with a girl and her friends. Eventually the girls left so it was just me alone with the guys. They started ordering beers eight at a time for us and even I was having trouble keeping up. Brady and I hung out at a table making out and feeling each other up and then the friend came over to us, clapping his hand on Brady’s shoulder.

“Here’s the plan. Let’s finish these beers then go back to your place and blow some lines,” he said.

I wasn’t too drunk to realize that wasn’t a normal thing to say. My man does not blow lines.

Brady turned his attention back to me and didn’t say anything back to his friend. It was weird. I’ve never seen Brady do cocaine in the time I’ve known him (but I’ve also never met that friend).

We stayed until the bar closed then took our party outside. All of us were super drunk and being loud and belligerent. Brady’s friend realized that he wanted a cigarette so he ran over to a group of girls who were smoking. Brady followed him and I watched as they talked for a moment while the friend smoked. Then Brady came back over to me and asked if I was ready to go home. It was just odd and it made me feel uncomfortable. I’m not exactly sure why.

Brady had to go into work on Saturday so I spent the day with Tucker. It was hot and disgusting outside, but I still took him for a long walk and then to the pet store. Brady came home with food and we stayed in and watched tv all night.

On Sunday, Brady went into work again and I didn’t want to stay inside all day so I texted Luke to hang out. I haven’t seen Luke in forever and I missed him so I was excited to be able to see him. We caught up over cheeseburgers and margaritas. He says he wants to come work for me. He’s basically the last one left from our old team so he’s hating all the new people and all the changes. He’s also dating someone. A personal trainer which is cute for Luke since Luke is so into being fit.

While we were at the bar eating, Scott texted me asking me something about work. At this point I was a little bit tipsy and sent back a message with a ton of typos then sent corrections one by one. I texted him back like eight times.

“So your Sunday is going well, I gather?” he said.

I sent him back a picture of my margarita and he said, “Nice. Do you want to share?”

I sent back a smiling emoji then I put my phone in my purse. Luke and I were sitting inside the bar, but decided to go up to the rooftop to mingle and take videos for Snapchat. The next time I’d looked at my phone, Scott had sent me a few texts.

“Do you want to have a drink together?”

“Where are you?”

“I’d love to buy you a drink tonight.”

I sent him back the name of the bar I was at and turned to Luke.

“My boss is coming!”

He made a face. “Oh. Why?”

“He’s obsessed with me. It’s okay though. He’s really cool.”

While we waited for Scott, Luke and I met a few friends at the bar. I was talking to a younger good looking cop when I saw Scott walk in out the corner of my eye. He was wearing jeans and a nice shirt and it was weird and creepy to see him out of his suit.

“Well hello there,” Scott greeted me. He pulled out the barstool next to me and sat down.

“This is my friend, Luke,” I said introducing the two.

They shook hands and Luke said, “Nice to meet you. Wish I could stay longer and chat!”

I spun around and saw Luke signing his bill.

“What? Where are you going?” I asked.

“My flight tomorrow is early and I haven’t even finished packing. Have fun though!”

Luke had a trip to Costa Rica planned and was leaving Monday morning. We hugged and promised to hang out again soon. Then I turned my attention back toward Scott and we talked about our days. He said that he’d been out drinking with his friends all day, but wasn’t ready to call it a night hence why he wanted to meet up with me.

We ordered more drinks and talked about work. We talked about Mike and I told Scott to stop being so intimidated by him.

“Wait, you think I’m intimidated by him?” Scott asked, looking surprised.

“Yes! You’re always running around losing your mind when he’s around,” I said. “I get that we need to impress him, but you’re just so over the top.”

I laughed a little, but Scott kept a straight face.

“Once you’re in my position, you’ll see why I am the way I am,” he said and then he excused himself to go to the bathroom.

I turned back to my cop friend while Scott was using the restroom and talked to him for a little bit until I felt someone’s hands on my shoulders. I continued talking to the cop without turning around so Scott ran his hand down my arm and put his hand over my hand which was sitting on the bar. I felt his face close to the back of my neck.

“Do you want to go to another bar?” he asked.

“Okay,” I agreed.

Scott asked for the check and the cop leaned over to us. “No offense man. I didn’t know she was with you before you got here so I got her first couple of rounds of drinks. I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s okay! We aren’t together like that,” I laughed because it was hilarious and I was drunk.

I ordered an Uber to take us to my favorite bar so Scott and I trekked downstairs. Once we made it outside, Scott grabbed my hand to guide me out in the street.

“So glad you could make it out tonight,” I said as we crossed the street.

“Me too. Glad you made some time to see me.”

As if we don’t see each other everyday at work.

Once we were across the street and waiting for our Uber to pull up, Scott still didn’t let go of my hand. And in the car, he placed his hand on my thigh and kind caressed it the entire way to the next bar. We didn’t say anything at all.

We got to the next bar and ordered drinks and continued talking about work. I was sucking down my drinks pretty fast so I can’t remember a lot of the details. Scott was flirting with our bartender – a super cute blonde. He was telling her how beautiful she is and talking about the Olympics and I was playing the perfect wing woman. I noticed that Scott didn’t have his wedding ring on and I tried not to make it obvious that I was looking for it.

While the bartender was helping other people, Scott told me about life before he moved to the United States. About the jobs he had and his his bosses were much more intense than Mike.

“They make Mike look like a sweet puppy,” Scott said.

I leaned over to him and giggled, accidentally knocking my entire drink into my lap. Scott grabbed some napkins and started patting my thigh with them to dry me off. The bartender quickly placed another drink in front of me as if I deserved it.

We sat there for a little while longer before deciding to go to the next bar. Once we got outside, Scott grabbed my hand and held it while we walked to the next bar. We got inside and sat down and ordered our drinks.

“I can’t even lie, I’m very attracted to you,” Scott said.

“Why?” I asked.

“You’re stunning. It’s the way you carry yourself. You’re very direct and you know what you want. That is hot.”

I just grinned.

“Your boyfriend is very, very lucky. I mean, he’s extremely lucky to have you to come home to.”

I took that to mean Scott didn’t enjoy “coming home” to his wife which is crazy because she’s hot and super sweet. I took a sip of my drink and Scott asked, “How many people would you say you’ve slept with?”

I told him the answer and he said, “That’s not a lot considering how good looking you are.”

“What about you?” I wanted to know.

“Over one hundred women. I stopped counting after one hundred,” Scott answered.

I feel like he wanted me to have some grand reaction to that, but I just shrugged. “Well you are older and you’re a man.”

“Yeah, I suppose that would explain it. You’d be surprised how many women throw themselves at me solely because of my accent. I mean, I’m not complaining, but…” Scott said.

Have I mentioned that Scott is British? He’s actually from Australia, but grew up in England for the majority of his childhood. He’s lived in the United States for several years.

“I’m sure it’s not just your accent. You’re not bad looking either,” I said.

Scott turned to me. “Really?”

I nodded. He put his hand on the back of my neck and started massaging it with his fingers. It was so relaxing and we just sat there talking some more. Suddenly, he pulled me toward him and I realized he was trying to lean in for a kiss!

I grabbed his hand and backed away, giggling and pretending I didn’t know what he was doing.

Eventually we got in a cab to go home, deciding that we would just share one since Scott didn’t live that far away from the bar. I didn’t remember the cab ride until the next day when I realized that we were again holding hands and caressing each other’s thighs. What the fuck.

When I got home, it was after 3:00 AM, but Brady was still up. I was excited and relieved to see him.

“Hi baby!” I squealed, jumping on the couch next to him. I laid the back of my head on his lap so I could still look at him.

“How was your night? It’s late,” Brady said.

“Good. I was out with Scott!”

Brady gave me a weird look. “Really?” It sounded more like an “are you kidding?” really.

I nodded. “He’s obsessed with me and it’s not like you’ve been spending any time with me lately so…”

“So you go get drunk with your boss who is obsessed with you and stay out until-” Brady paused to look at the time. “3:00 in the morning?”

“Yes!”

“I hate when you do this,” Brady mumbled.

“I hate when you do this too!” I sat up and we started arguing. We were screaming at each other, I’m not even sure what about, and woke Craig up.

“Hey, is everything okay?” he asked.

“No!” I said. “Both of you need to leave. I’m not comfortable sleeping here if y’all are here.” What did poor Craig do?

“Stop being ridiculous, Reese. We aren’t going anywhere,” Brady said.

“Fine. I’ll call the cops then,” I said and started rummaging through my bag to find my phone.

So then Brady had to wrestle my phone from me so I wouldn’t call the police and make an even huger scene. What a hot mess. Eventually, Brady decided it would be best if he slept on the couch downstairs and left me in the bedroom.

On Monday morning I woke up at 7:30 still in my clothes and makeup from the night before. Brady was already gone, but had left a bottle of water on the nightstand. I felt so awful about the whole night, especially how I’d acted when I got home. I called Brady at work to apologize. Like I called the actual hospital because it was an emergency.

“Reese?” Brady greeted me, after picking up the call.

“Brady, I am so sorry about last night. That should have never happened,” I said.

He sighed. “Okay.”

“Scott tried to kiss me. He was like holding my hand the entire night,” I added.

Brady didn’t say anything.

“I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry. I’m literally so dumb.”

Silence.

“I love you,” I said.

“We can talk more about it later when I get home, okay?” Brady said. He sounded cold, but not necessarily mad.

After we hung up, Brady texted me saying, “You do this too often to continue apologizing for it.”

I didn’t even know what to say so I didn’t say anything.

Scott had texted me a few times.

“Glad you got home safely.”

“Are you okay to come in today?”

“By the way, you looked super sexy last night.”

I didn’t respond and got up to get ready for work. When I got there, Scott was already there working away in his office. I stopped in and said hello and asked if there was anything he needed me to work on. After we discussed work, he lowered his voice and asked, “How are you feeling?”

I shrugged. “Okay. Not that bad though considering how much I drank. You?”

“Not great. My wife woke me up this morning after finding me passed out in a chair. I dry heaved in the bathroom for an hour before coming here.”

We both laughed. Scott stayed in his office all day and didn’t really talk to anyone so people were coming to my office and asking if he was okay. I told them he was probably just hungover.

Brady and I went to dinner that night and I told him everything and I apologized for my behavior. He lectured me, making me feel like complete shit which I deserved.

“If this is what you do when you aren’t receiving the attention you want then I can’t help you,” Brady said. And then he pointed out that Scott is married.

“Did the two of you even think about me and his wife? It’s wrong on so many levels, Reese. I can’t believe you.”

Obviously I felt really bad and couldn’t stop apologizing, but Brady refused to accept my apology because I know better.

Scott is traveling the rest of this week and texted me a few things he wants me to get done while he is gone. He’s getting back Thursday night and told me to let him know if I wanted to grab drinks after he landed. As if I would get drinks with him again! Now I’m just annoyed that I got myself in this situation. I know I need to have a mature adult conversation with him and let him know that none of that should have happened. It will be extremely awkward and I might even do it over email. There goes my raise.

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i’m sorry.

The last few weeks have been weird and depressing and I’m not really sure why. One of Brady’s friends has been staying with us because he was having problems with his live in girlfriend. So I’ve been thirdwheeling. On one of his first nights staying with us, we grilled and had people over to eat and drink. Lindsey was the only girl besides me and the guys starting being guys. Someone brought up Tia. Apparently she gets around a little bit (clearly) so they discussed that.

“[Guy who she hooked up with] says she has her hair shaved into a lightning bolt,” one of them said and they all laughed.

And then Brady said, “She changes it with her mood. Along with the jewelry.”

Why would Brady know that?

“I’m curious to see this now,” one of the guys said.

“I’m sure if you ask to see, she will send you a picture. I’m quite sure of that,” Brady said.

I gave him probably the most disgusted and unimpressed look he’s ever seen and he made a face like, “Hey, it’s not my fault.” I rolled my eyes. I don’t want my man thinking about Tia’s vagina and most certainly not seeing it either.

Another night, the three of us went out for dinner and beers. Brady’s friend (his name is Craig) wanted to bitch about his girlfriend all night and I get that Brady should take his friend’s side, but it was offensive. Craig was blaming his girlfriend for being crazy, unreasonable and selfish and Brady was agreeing with him. Finally, I said, “What did you do to her?”

They both looked at me.

“I didn’t do anything to her, Reese. I’m not here to play the blame game,” Craig said.

“But that’s exactly what you’re doing,” I said.

So now I’m just hoping Craig will leave soon. I’ve even been encouraging him to reach out to his girlfriends and apologize. I miss walking around naked when I want to and being able to come home and eat junk food. Craig works from home a lot (our home) and eats all the junk food during the day. Imagine how frustrating it is to come home from a long day of work thinking you’re going to sit in front of the tv with a pack of Oreos all night, but all the Oreos are gone. If he doesn’t leave soon, I’m probably going to kill him.

Speaking of work, Mike is back. Scott and I have gotten pretty close the past few weeks as we prepared for Mike to come back. We work together literally all day everyday either in my office or his office, or if we’re feeling adventurous, in one of the conference rooms. Monica hates it because I think she feels left out. But it seems like she’s alienating herself purposely. We’ve invited her to our work sessions and she says stuff like, “I have so much stuff to do, I can’t!”
We all have so much stuff to do, girl.
I even had lunch with Scott and his wife last week. So weird. I thought I’d be third wheeling, but I think the wife actually was. She’s a cute little blonde (obviously) who does yoga all day. She even showed up lunch in her yoga gear complete with a mat attached to her bag.

Anyway, Scott just wanted to talk about work the whole time. Like, can we have a lunch period off? We’ve all been working 12-14 hours a day so you’d think we would want to find something else to talk about for an hour.

When we got back to the office, Mike met us at the door and said, “Reese, can I talk to you for a minute?” and headed back to his office before waiting for me to say yes.

I can’t even lie, I thought Mike would confront me about going to lunch with Scott (and his wife) because that seems bad for office politics, right? Monica may have gone to him to complain, you know?
But he wanted to let me know how well I’ve been doing and to thank me for my hard work. I definitely don’t feel like I deserved it (even though I have been working hard), but there have been times I’ve busted my ass even more and no one said anything. But at least he’s noticing.
It was short lived though. On Monday morning, he sent me an email with a list of things that he wanted done, that I haven’t been doing.
“This is your priority this week. Don’t let me catch you doing anything else,” was how Mike closed the email.

So this week I’ve been busting my ass for him and avoiding Scott’s requests to work together. Obviously Mike hadn’t informed him of the list he’d given me so I guess it was supposed to be private. Although I don’t see why.

Carly was here over the weekend. We grabbed a quick brunch on Saturday morning, but that’s the only time I saw her. She spent most of her time in the suburbs wedding planning with her mom. I cannot believe she’s getting married in a few months. She actually kept changing the subject when I asked her about it at brunch which I don’t think is a good sign. I hope she isn’t getting cold feet.

I’m sorry I don’t have much to write about. Like I said, I’ve been in a weird mood, borderline depressed, anxious and super, super tired all the time. I can barely get out of bed most mornings. Hopefully the getaway Brady has planned for the end of the most helps. He’s taking me to a beach in Massachusetts for the weekend. He’s actually been working even more than I have so we definitely both need it. I miss y’all. Hopefully I feel better soon. 

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why are we like this?

So I went through Brady’s phone and read his messages with Tia. In my defense though, he was sitting right there and said I could look through his phone.

Anyway, I fucking hate her. Apparently she has a sugar daddy who pays all her bills and gives her a ton of spending money to live on (like $3,500 a month). That’s more than some people make working at a job. She and Brady were texting about it and he said, “You must be doing something amazing to make a man spend money on you like that.”

And she said, “Well I am Asian after all. ;-)”

Like ew. I know what she means by that. I never thought she had class before, but I definitely know she doesn’t now. Since we were on the subject of Tia anyway, I asked Brady if he was attracted to her. Because those are the things I want to know (to make myself miserable obviously).

“I think she’s pretty, but attracted to her? No,” Brady answered.

“Liar. You’d pay all her bills too if you were given the opportunity,” I said. “Have you hooked up with her before?”

He almost like flinched. Like the question was so offensive and revolting. “No! Why would you ask that?”

“Because I feel like I have to,” I said.

“Of course not. Jeez. No,” he scoffed.

I kind of enjoyed Brady being so offended. But then I pestered him a little bit about his relationship with her. And he told me that once they were out with their friends, drunk of course, and they hugged. But when they pulled away, they didn’t exactly pull away and she kept her arms around his neck and he kept his hands around her waist. Why would he tell me that?

“Show me,” I demanded.

And then Brady stood up and demonstrated the position they were in, putting my hands in the position Tia’s were in. I thought he’d laugh and tell me to stop being ridiculous, that it wasn’t that big of a deal, etc, but he did it with a straight and serious face. So we were standing there like we were slow dancing at prom.

“Inappropriate,” I declared.

He shrugged and then nodded. “Yeah.”

I couldn’t even bring myself to fight with him about it, but it just solidified my hatred for her. Plus, obviously they aren’t speaking or hanging out like they used to, so I was just thinking, “Well, at least she’s out of the picture now.” And get this – she texted Brady earlier this week, seeing if he wanted Lolla tickets because she had a friend selling some. He didn’t respond and she said something like, “I get that your girlfriend hates me, but I don’t want that to get in the way of our friendship. You should be able to hang out with whoever you want to hang out with no matter what situation is going on.”

She’s obviously smoking crack again. Who is she to tell Brady who he should be allowed to hang out with? And she hasn’t even acknowledged the fact that one. she stole my bracelet and two. Brady screamed at her and made her feel like shit about it. What a true sociopath.

Brady’s mom called my mom and apparently they had a pretty long conversation. It was weird to me that Brady’s mom was so adamant about talking to my mom. What did she need to talk to my mom about that she couldn’t talk to me about? Apparently, she wanted to voice her concerns.

1. Brady and I haven’t known each other long. Did we even know each other well enough to get married?

2. I’ve switched jobs a lot. Is my career stable?

3. Am I emotionally stable? (Rude)

4. Did I plan on contributing financially since moving in with Brady? (He purchased the home for himself and himself only).

But she did say that they have a family jeweler who would be able to custom make any ring I wanted. Why would she say that if she has all these concerns about everything? She also said, “I like Reese, I do. If Brady likes her, then I do.” Which seems like such a back handed, passive aggressive thing to say. And also, “We may not have anything in common besides our children, but if this actually happens, then I want all of us to spend more time together.” Which made my mom to say she’s uptight and pretentious.

My mom has always thought I was being a baby when I told her about Brady’s mom, but she finally saw it for herself. In the end, my mom said, “If you and Brady want to get married, you know you have my full support. If you try to wait until you have that woman’s approval, you’ll never be married.” My mom may be crazy, but she’s so sweet and supportive of literally anything I do. I wish everyone could experience a mother like that.

I hung out with my new 22 year old friend, Ava, last week. She’s just so perfect. Her skin is bomb, her hair is bomb and her eyes are bomb. And of course, she’s tiny and athletic and if I didn’t love her, I would hate her.

We talked about being crazy girlfriends. She has a long term boyfriend who she moved to Chicago to be with. They were long distance for a while and had a lot of trust issues. So we exchanged stories and it made me not feel as bad about trying to use Brady’s thumb while he was sleeping to get into his phone, sending Jessica that Facebook message, and physically fighting Devin once a week while we were in college. But I must admit, I got some good ideas from her.

“Why are we like this?” I asked.

“Guys make us like this,” she replied and she’s right. We’ll blame it all on the guys.

Speaking of crazy, I really wanted access to Brady’s email so I thought I’d try to guess his password. And I guessed it on the first try – with the capitalization and numbers and everything. It annoyed me because he makes it easy to snoop. I texted him telling him that he needs to think of a more creative password for his stuff.

Anna emails him a lot. She asks him to read things she writes and give her feedback. Or she sends him articles about current events and stuff and then they have full conversations through email about it. Brady and I rarely talk about that kind of stuff (I’m just not interested), but maybe we should. He probably thinks I’m so stupid and uninformed. Brady didn’t reply to my text, but yelled at me about it when he got home. I gave him my Tucker pouty eyes and he calmed down.

He sighed and said, “I respect your privacy so I’d appreciate it if you do the same.”

That made me feel kind of bad, but not really. This is twisted, but I kind of wish Brady would be more interested in who I’m talking to and stuff. Clearly he trusts me and I’m glad for that, but doesn’t he at least think guys are making passes at me? Isn’t he concerned? I know I’m insecure for thinking that, but I can’t help it.

Speaking of which, Scott has been being really nice to me lately. I guess all the sucking up paid off. Every morning he’s been stopping by my office to check in and a couple of times he’s brought me a latte or a green tea. And since I’m being nicer and he’s being nicer, he’s included me in a lot more things. For example, he had a meeting with Mike last week and he let me help him prepare and told me all the things Mike would be looking for (but never outright said he’d be looking for them cuz this is Mike we are talking about). And, no one is supposed to know this yet, but Mike is most likely coming back to Chicago next month for good. Scott thinks he’s having marriage problems. This was a good way to get into talking about Scott’s marriage.

“How’s your wife? I feel like I haven’t seen her in a while,” I said. I’ve only met Scott’s wife once so this was kind of crazy thing to say. Obviously I was fishing for information.

I don’t know if he picked up on it, but Scott didn’t make eye contact with me. “She’s okay. She just started a new job so she’s been really busy. You’ll see more of her soon, I’m sure.”

But the next night, I was working from home and texted Scott asking a question. He sent four back to back messages answering my question and correcting himself and then apologizing.

“Sorry, I’m out with some buddies. I hope that made sense,” he said.

“It did, thank you. I hope you have fun,” I said back.

“Why don’t you meet up with us? I know it’s a bit ugly out, but I owe you a drink for all of your hard work this week.”

“I wish I could, but I promised my boyfriend I’d bake cookies tonight.” I was lying, but I did have plans of baking a batch of lemon cookies. Plus, I wanted to remind him of Brady.

“Too bad. We’ve gotta plan another evening out soon. I could care less of Monica or the others come though. :-)”

I didn’t know what he meant by this, but I could take a guess. I didn’t want to feed into it so I just said, “Okay. :-)”

And then Scott started talking about how he enjoys my company and thinks we work really well together.

Eventually I stopped responding and the following Monday at work, we hung out and didn’t mention any of it. He just wouldn’t let me leave his sight. Every time I’d try to go back to my office, he would stop me and tell me more things he needed help with. And if I did make it back to my own office, he would show up with his laptop so he could work alongside me. For lunch, I told him that I was going to step out and grab something to eat and he wanted to know where I was going and would I be able to pick up a sandwich for him?

Luckily, he’s been traveling the rest of this week so I haven’t had to deal with him, but he’s been texting me constantly. And even sending me pictures of his hotel room and stuff he’s doing. Why are you so obsessed with me? I think he means well though and I can’t be annoyed. At least he isn’t telling me how much I suck or anything.

*This is my 200th post! Thank y’all so much for reading and being supportive these past two years! It’s been a crazy and fun emotional roller coaster and I don’t plan on quitting until y’all ask me to! My life seems a lot less dramatic than it was two years ago – crazy how much things can change. I’m extremely happy now and I hope everyone else is too. Love y’all!!!*

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