Ugh. Hi.

Brady is due back next week. I almost forgot about him.

I’ve been spending most of my time at work. Ever since I got my little promotion, people have been relying on me to do everything. I mean, everything. And honestly, I kind of love feeling so important, but I am exhausted.

My weeks usually go like this:

Monday – Mondays are meeting days so I spend the first eight hours of my day in meetings. I actually hate the word “meeting” now because of Mondays. Everyone wants a meeting. People schedule meetings to discuss what snacks we want to order from Costco for the break room. Do you really think I have time for that? Just make sure I have a Party Size bag of Doritos and we’re good. After eight hours of meetings, I have to work an extra five hours just to catch up on emails I missed.

Tuesday – This is my most productive day. Usually I’ve had a good night’s sleep, packed a hearty smoothie for lunch and woke up in time to go to SoulCycle before work. I love Tuesdays.

Wednesday – Wednesdays are also rad. The day flies by because I leave at 4pm for wine night. This bar I love has a wine happy hour on Wednesday nights. I leave work, go home and change into my Wednesday Best and then meet Emma and whoever else at the bar. Emma has the coolest friends. More on that another time.

Thursday – Hungover all day on Thursdays. Don’t talk to me.

Friday – Finally Friday. Normally Scott and I order some sort of lunch or food to celebrate the end of the week. I almost always suggest pizza and everyone is over it. But how could you go wrong?

Saturday – I sleep in until 10am when Tucker wakes me up. I’ve actually been traveling for the past several weekends so Kendra and John watch him. Speaking of which..

Sunday – Usually I spend Sundays with my girl, Mia. She is so cool. We like to watch Paw Patrol and eat fruit snacks. Sometimes I’ll let her do my hair then I have to spend two hours later in the evening untangling it. It’s worth it though because she is my fucking girl.

I was in Houston last weekend. I was bored in Chicago and I needed to see my parents house. The place is stunning: brick, marble, brand new and on a lake. Very suburban Texas. But a bit unnecessary for a pair of on and off empty nesters. My mom is loving filling up the space.

We were at dinner one night, just the two of us, and she said, “When you and Brady start having kids, y’all can settle in here. That’s why we got that big house.”

I was flabbergasted beyond words. Mother, what? Stop. Brady and I just now on speaking terms again (I ignored him for a month after he ignored me for a month). I even told her about it.

The weekend before that, I was in Arizona to see my girls. I just miss Arizona sometimes. It’s so relaxing and beautiful. I even went hiking. Those bitches in Arizona love to hike.

Last month I went on the most amazing solo trip to San Diego. I am definitely retiring there. Can’t you imagine me, my husband and our six dogs riding our bikes along the beach? The only thing I did in San Diego though was drink wine in bars alone and order a lot of room service.

I guess Alex told Brady that I was complaining about him not calling me ever so Brady suddenly started calling, texting and FaceTiming. Interesting that he suddenly had internet and had so much time to contact me. So much so that I started unintentionally ignoring him. Work is so busy.

We hired this girl I hate. Work wouldn’t be work if there wasn’t a girl I don’t get along with, am I right?

Her name is Raquel, but she goes by Rocky. This was the first red flag. Raquel is so much more chic. She’s the assistant to the person who replaced me and fucks shit up all the time. She will book incorrect flights, send sensitive emails to the wrong person, order food for the wrong day, break brand new electronics. She wastes so much of our money.

We don’t have many straight guys in the office, but Raquel has made it a point to only hang out with them. Which is fine, but she deliberately excludes other girls in the office and always brings up the plans when girls are around.

Obviously I had to bring it up. There was a large group of us hanging out in the break room and Raquel did her thing – giggling with the boys about what they’d done over the weekend. It was super awkward because everyone who wasn’t included just kind of looked at each other like, “She can’t be serious.”

As we were walking out, I caught up with Raquel.

“Don’t you think it’s funny that you hang out with all the guys outside of work, but you’ve never hung out with any of the girls?” I said, making sure no one else could hear.

Rocky Balboa looked at me like this was literally the most ridiculous thing I could have ever pulled out out my ass.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she muttered and then quite literally ran away.

The next afternoon, Wednesday, I stopped by Scott’s office on my way out.

“It’s Wine Night. Feel free to come if you want,” I said. Sometimes I invite Scott out because he’s super lonely these days.

“Great! I’ll let you know. Oh, I wanted to talk to you about something,” Scott said.

I should’ve known where this was going. “Mmhm?”

“Rocky mentioned you’d made a comment about her hanging out with men in the office? Maybe trying to insinuate something?”

I let Scott know that Rocky was being a baby and he called me an HR nightmare. Which is completely fine.

Rocky continued fucking shit up and being rude to the girls and then I found out from my friend in HR, Keri, that Rocky had asked for a raise. I laughed.

“Well, Scott approved it so I guess it’s happening,” Keri said.

I was honestly shocked. The amount she asked for was much more than the rest of the assistants were making. Like a third more.

I texted Scott, “Just because you gave Raquel a huge raise doesn’t mean she’s going to sleep with you.”

He said, “Don’t be jealous, Reese. You’ll get a raise when it’s the right time.”

Anyway, I’m so proud of myself.

This whole time Brady has been gone, I haven’t even thought about another guy.

Well, actually that isn’t entirely true. I was texting one of Emma’s emotional musician friends, Joe. What a psychopath.

We all hung out one night after a show and Joe was getting my humor and we were just really vibing. Think G-Eazy before bleached his hair. He was a little more druggie than I’m into these days, but I was bored and he was interesting.

And very into Xanax.

He would text me during the day super depressed, hating life and I’d have to talk him off a cliff. Like I was genuinely concerned for the guy. I told Emma about it and she confronted him, of course. He blew up and went crazy on me and that was the end of that. You’re not my boyfriend so you don’t get to yell at me. Later on, he took his meds and tried to apologize but I was over it.

Lastly, I had a run in with Hunter. Like I said before, I’ve been staying at Brady’s until I found a new apartment (I still haven’t) and Hunter came to visit one weekend. He knew Brady was in Peru, but apparently Brady didn’t tell him I was staying at his place.

So I was sitting on the couch with Tucker one Friday night, deciding if I was going to meet Luke out or if I was going to stay home. I kind of thought I heard the front door open, but that was impossible because Brady wasn’t due back until August. But then Tucker ran to the front door and started barking his head off.

“Who the fuck is here?” I shouted, getting up.

I heard Hunter’s voice say, “Hey buddy,” in between Tucker’s yaps.

“Oh, it’s just you,” I said.

“Good to see you too, Reese,” Hunter said, appearing with a duffle bag thrown over his shoulder.

We hugged and then he explained that he needed to get away for the weekend and didn’t know I was staying at Brady’s. We chatted for a little while before Hunter went out. I ended up staying in and watching YouTube makeup videos.

I fell asleep on the couch and kept on waking up thinking I heard Hunter come back. And then, I really hope this was a dream, Hunter came home and I said, “You’re finally home, baby.”

And Hunter came in the living room and stood over me on the couch so his crotch was basically in my face.

“Goodnight, Reese,” he said and I turned over and went back to sleep.

It’s unclear if that actually happened or I dreamed it or why I would even think to call Hunter “baby” at all, dream or not. I’d never call a man “baby.” Ew. I think I’m just horny and lonely.

That’s all I have to share. I’m thinking of of doing something super nice for Brady when he gets home, but I’m not sure what. I feel a bit guilty for unintentionally ignoring him the past few weeks (but not for deliberately ignoring him before) and honestly, I really fucking missed him. I can’t wait to see him.