I thought it might be fun to do a #throwbackthursday post with a story from college so here’s one. Y’all can’t judge me for this. This was probably five years ago and I’m a completely changed woman now. So let’s just look back and laugh. 

When I was in college one of my closest friends and roommates was a girl named Lauren. Everyone always got me and Lauren mixed up – we had the same height and build (short, small, big boobs), looked kind of similar (lightish hair, hazel/green eyes, big smiles), had the same crass, sarcastic sense of humor, and could regularly be found drinking tequila by the handle at parties around campus.

So one time, we heard that my ex – I’ll just give him a name, let’s call him Devin – was texting/sexting this girl we hated. Devin and I were on some sort of break at the time, but I was still furious and upset that he was texting her of all people. Naturally I wanted to confront him about it so I decided the best place to do it was outside the gym where he was working out. This was on a Thursday and he always worked out until around 7:30 on Thursday nights (I had his entire schedule memorized, obviously).

Lauren tagged along for moral support and we waited outside the gym for him to come out. When he finally emerged, I stepped in front of him to block his path. He didn’t look surprised or happy to see me.

“What’s up?” he asked.

Just so you can have a mental picture in your head, Devin is around 6’3 or 6’4 – he’s tall – with an athletic build and some tattoos on his arms and body. He’s black, white and Filipino and his face was clean shaven at the time.

“I heard you’re texting [girl who we hate who doesn’t deserve a name],” I said, crossing my arms.

Devin scrunched his face up. “Who told you that?”

“Everyone!” I exclaimed, when in actuality it was only two people, but one of them was the girl we hate’s friend.

“Well it doesn’t matter if I am or not. It’s none of your business,” Devin said. Rude. I knew that meant he was definitely sexting her. 

We began arguing and he started to walk away. I tried to grab his t-shirt to stop him but he pulled out of my grip. So I did the only thing I could think to do next: I jumped on his back and started punching him in the side of his head. Lauren, being the great friend that she was, jumped in front of him and held his arms down so I could beat him without him fighting me off.

So for the next minute I punched him, clawed him, choked him and whatever else I could do to hurt him. Lauren successfully restrained him for that minute (and also got a few jabs in) while his muffled voice called me psycho and demanded I get off. A campus security guard was patrolling the area, walked past and saw the scuffle.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” the guard shouted and ran over to us. “What’s going on? Get down!”

He literally had to pry me off Devin’s back and I used my nails to dig into Devin’s skin as the guard pulled me off. He turned to me and I was delighted to see red scratches on his neck and along his jaw. 

“You’re such a crazy bitch,” he mumbled as he began walking away. “And fuck you, Lauren.”

“This isn’t over!” I called after him.

The security guard grabbed me again as if I were going to chase Devin and I pushed him away. “Do not touch me.”

He told us that we needed to leave so we did. I think this was during finals week or something because Lauren and I decided to go out and drink after that. Usually we drank all day during finals. That night there was a party at one of the football player’s off campus house and we knew Devin would be there so we decided to seek revenge then. Devin drove a really nice car back then, I think it was like a Camaro or something. It was brand new and he had pimped it out with rims and stuff and loved to showroom park it wherever he went. It was actually pretty tacky.

So obviously that was what we were going to go after. We were pretty drunk and we asked one of Lauren’s guy friends to take us to Walmart so we could get supplies to vandalize his car. We spent like $70 on silly string, shaving cream, toilet paper, eggs, and Cheetos puffs (for us to eat) then had the guy take us to the party.

Sure enough, Devin’s pretty black car was parked on the front lawn. We had to move quickly so we didn’t get caught in the act (not that we cared, he would know it was us anyway. We did stupid things like this all the time) so we began spraying the car with shaving cream and silly string, smashing eggs on it and wrapping it with toilet paper. We were laughing so hard that we were being really loud and kind of causing a scene. It was fun though.

We had covered a really good amount of  the car when a football player came out from inside the party. He shouted something like, “Yooo, what the fuck?” so Lauren and I laughed and ran next door to another house party before he could confront us.

I didn’t hear from Devin until the next morning. I expected him to be pissed and tell me off, which was the goal. We did this practically every week: he pissed me off, I retaliated, he got pissed then we made up. It’s just what we did. So I was anticipating his pissed off text.

I was surprised when I opened it and it said, “Did you shit on my car?”

I replied, “What?” because I was confused. I figured he meant to say, “Did you put all this shit on my car?” and just missed a few words. But no. He meant exactly what he said.

“Did you take a dump on my car? [Football player who caught us in the act] said he saw you and Lauren fucking with it last night. You’re sick.”

After a little back and forth, I realized that after Lauren and I left, someone must have seen the vandalized car and decided to add their own touch – by pooping on it. But Devin thought we did it! I was mortified. 

I explained that we only used the shaving cream, silly string, eggs and toilet paper and denied the poop over and over until he finally said, “Okay whatever. Stay away from my car.”

We never found out who the real pooping culprit was, but I’m sure Devin probably still thinks it was us. Not that I care anymore. Can I also say that I do not condone domestic violence? Devin and I got into fights like that all the time. Well, I usually beat up on him, but he never hit me back. Which I guess is the only nice thing about him.

The funny thing is, Lauren and Devin are both living in LA now. She and I don’t talk much anymore because she has changed into a completely different person, but she’s doing great.

So back to present day. I haven’t talked to Brady (can we give him a fake name? Typing it makes me sad), but I asked Carly if she’s seen him. She said he’s still always just working in the dining room on his laptop. And that Brady told Chris that we broke up, but won’t talk to her about it. I mean, not that he should, but she said he’s almost awkward about it. Like he tries to talk about everything except me. She said the other day he complimented her boots and they proceeded to have a fifteen minute conversation about women’s boots. That makes me really, really sad for some reason.

Anyway, I’m going to get to work and cry. Bye!

I flew to Tennessee on Tuesday morning to meet Andrew for our mock store walk through. On my way to the store he let me know that he would be in later on in the afternoon so I was relieved to have some time to prepare and perfect the store.

Since I sent a detailed and specific email with what needed to be done I expected the store to only need a few final touches, but when I walked in I saw that almost nothing on my to-do list got completed. I was horrified.

“What happened?” I asked the manager. 

“What do you mean?” she said back, looking confused.

“Did you just not want to do what I asked you to do?” I was trying to be as calm as I could, but I could feel myself about to explode.

“We’ve been really busy. We didn’t get to everything,” she explained.

I was so irritated. They obviously weren’t that busy because they didn’t even meet their sales projections. I pointed that out.

“We wanted to focus all our attention on selling so we didn’t want to get too wrapped up in those tasks,” she said which sounded like an excuse to me.

I wasn’t about to waste anymore time arguing with her and instead started tackling the list myself. By the time Andrew arrived later on that afternoon I was drenched in sweat from moving so much stuff around. I felt disgusting. He showed up with a tallish blonde girl and introduced her as “Tori,” a senior sales director who was getting promoted soon.

Tori was wearing a Dannijo statement necklace (I’ve been eyeing the same one), leggings and unnecessarily high booties. She was cute, but a little too fake smiley for me.

“So Reese, how was your weekend?” Andrew asked.

“It was good! I had fun. Thanks for asking,” I replied as cheerfully as I could.

“Yeah? I guess your guy did well?” Andrew continued.

I clasped my hands behind my back so he couldn’t see my bracelet. I feel like he would have found a way to make me feel like shit about it. Andrew seems like that boyfriend who would make you go change if he didn’t like your outfit for date night.

“He did, yes.”

Luckily (or unluckily I guess), Andrew started grilling me about business numbers after that.

“So last week your region was down nineteen percent, but the company was only down six percent. Any guesses why?” he asked me.

I obviously didn’t have an answer so he started calling out all the things he saw wrong in the store. All the things I hadn’t gotten a chance to get to, of course. He didn’t exactly yell at me, but definitely made me feel awful about it. After that we went to the office and Andrew grilled me on more stuff. I kind of feel like he was just trying to show off for Tori. I kept noticing him looking at her for approval. And possibly lust too. I think he has a crush on her.

On Wednesday morning, Andrew wanted the three of us to meet early (7:00 am) to have breakfast then go to the store for a few hours. I got up and got ready and went down to the lobby to meet them. I waited ten minutes then texted Andrew asking if we were still supposed to meet. He replied a few minutes later, “Yeah, I’ll be right down!”

Literally twenty minutes later, he and Tori came strolling in like they didn’t have a care in the world. Seriously? 

“Heya Reese! Ready to grub?” he asked like it wasn’t a big deal.

I put on my fakest smile and nodded. So that began my hellish day of getting tag teamed by Andrew and Tori/watching them flirt like high schoolers. They both kept calling me out on stuff and I can’t even tell you how many times Tori said, “Yeah Reese, that’s definitely something you should’ve noticed.” Maybe I’m just being a hater bitch, but I couldn’t fucking stand her. Probably because Andrew was all over her and she was actually really funny.

Toward the end of the day when Tori was in the bathroom or something, Andrew was like, “Don’t you want to be more like her?”

What kind of question is that? She’s not Beyonce. 

They left around 2:00; they were flying to New York together and my flight was later in the afternoon. Before they left Andrew clapped me on the shoulder and said, “I challenge you to do better from now on. Don’t let Tori come in here and show you up.”

What the fuck? As if he gave me a choice. His head was up her ass the entire visit. 

Needless to say I was ready to go home and see my boyfriend. I called him as soon as I landed and told him I was coming over. It was probably my own fault for going over there in a horrible mood. Brady let me in and I immediately told him that I needed to vent. We sat on the couch and I started spilling all the details about my stupid trip.

I was only to the part where I was describing Tori when I noticed that Brady was looking down at his phone. Seriously?

“Are you kidding me?” I asked.

“Hmm?” Brady barely glanced up at me. 

“What the fuck is on your phone that is so important?” I demanded, standing up.

Brady looked up at me, phone still perched in his hand.

“Seriously, that’s incredibly rude. I’m asking for ten minutes of your time, I don’t think that’s unreasonable.”

He started to apologize, but I cut him off. I started flipping out on him, telling him how inconsiderate he is and he looked at me like I had three heads.

“Stop fucking looking at me like that!”

Brady kept looking at me like I was crazy.

I rolled my eyes and started to grab my bag off the couch. I was going to go to his room and let my anger wear off naturally.

But Brady said, “Reese, I can’t do this.”

I was like, “Do what?”

“I can’t…be what you need right now.” He seemed to be struggling with what to say.

“Uhhh…okay?” I was genuinely confused, but felt my heart sinking. “Because you can’t stay off your phone for five minutes?”

Brady looked down and shook his head. We were both silent.

“Can you say something?” I asked. 

“I can’t do this, I’m sorry,” he said, not looking up.

“You’re so lame,” I said because I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I couldn’t believe he was breaking up with me – because I yelled at him for being on his phone. I was livid. “This doesn’t surprise me at all, Brady. You’re such a fucking pussy.”

He finally looked up at me and he looked like he was going to cry. I didn’t care.

“Well, have a nice life then,” I said sarcastically and turned to leave. He didn’t stop me – not that I thought he would.

I got in my car and drove home and got increasingly more pissed about what happened. Brady is the one who messed up, not me. He should not have been on his phone! I feel like that’s not a lot to ask for.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I kind of thought Brady was going to call me and apologize and admit that he was being ridiculous. Clearly it was just a fight that spiraled out of control, right? But he didn’t. 

On Thursday I worked from home, but obviously got no work done. I was pissed and annoyed with Brady for giving up on us and blaming everything on my “needs.” I drafted a long, mean text message letting him know what a coward he is, but I’m sure he already knows that so I didn’t send it.

After work I called Kendra and told her that I was coming over. She seemed annoyed and told me she already had plans with John.

“Brady dumped me,” I said dryly.

Kendra gasped. “Oh my gosh, what? Why?”

“Because he’s stupid. He thinks he can’t please me which is probably true. He’s so useless,” I said.

“Oh Reese,” Kendra said in a voice that told me I was being ridiculous.

“Honestly it’s fine. I’m over it. Have fun with John.” I hung up and refused to answer her calls or texts for the rest of the night.

Friday was rough. I missed Brady and it was starting to sink in that we were really over. It didn’t help that I had to run an errand near the hospital and for a very brief moment I got excited thinking I could go visit Brady at work. Then I was like oh yeah. I started to feel bad about being mean to him and also selfish because obviously he’s going through something right now. Should I apologize? Not that it’ll help now, but still. 

Friday was also Kendra’s birthday and we had pre-existing plans to go barhopping. I obviously didn’t want to go, but waited until the last minute to tell Kendra that I wasn’t up for it. She was already drunk from dinner and would not take no for an answer.

“Reese, you have to come out! You need to take your mind off everything!”

I literally cried and said I wanted to stay home and sulk. But Kendra talked me into it and it was her birthday so I threw on white jeans, an oversized navy sweater, red lipstick and a pony. 

I wouldn’t let any of the thirsty men at the bars buy me drinks. I’m an independent woman now and can fund my own alcohol addiction. Kendra, Carly, Preston and some of Kendra’s coworkers were there and I didn’t tell anyone else about getting dumped. By the time we got to the third bar, I was pretty much blacked out. I remember telling Kendra that I had to use the bathroom and she insisted on going with me. Probably to make sure I didn’t do anything rash.

I had a meltdown in the bathroom. I was really drunk, but I was also really sad. Plus I think I just wanted to cry (and I love crying in bar bathrooms, obv). Kendra was really sweet and babied me even though it was her birthday. Carly came to the bathroom and found us and seemed super confused as to why I was crying. I heard Kendra whisper, “Brady broke up with her.”

Carly gasped. “Are you serious? When? I just saw him earlier. He didn’t mention anything. He said you were fine!”

“How would he know?” I sobbed. What a liar.

“I’m so sorry, babe. Did he say why?” Carly asked.

I obviously didn’t answer that.

On Saturday morning I woke up in Kendra’s bed with the worst hangover. I hadn’t eaten much but I still felt like I was going to puke everywhere. Kendra would kill me if I vommed in her bed (again, oops) so I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour. Then I went home.

This is probably going to be surprising, but when I go through a heartbreak, I don’t eat my feelings. I work out. I just don’t want to turn into a fat slob – the best form of revenge is a good body right? So I threw on some shorts and a sports bra and killed it at the fitness center in my apartment. I even met a guy who lives in my building who gave me endless compliments so that was nice. Afterwards I went to Whole Foods and spent half my life savings on food that won’t make me fat (and a couple of bottles of wine).

That night Kendra had plans with John and I was not in the mood to socialize anyway so I stayed home and drank wine, pinned some recipes, and checked Brady’s Facebook a thousand times for any signs of life. He doesn’t ever use Facebook so there were no updates. I really wanted to know what he was up to though. Did he miss me? Was he bored? Did he regret everything?!

Later that night, I was laying on the couch reading reviews from the Fifty Shades movie (if you have a moment, do it. So entertaining) when I got a text message from Kendra.

It said, “John proposed.”

Holy shit. Wait, what? How? Didn’t they just get back together? Weren’t they supposed to wait until he was done with his residency or whatever? Most importantly, why didn’t he ask me for permission before proposing? The nerve.

I replied, “Excuse me, you typed that John proposed. It must have been a typo. What?”

I waited an agonizing hour for Kendra to respond. Then she said, “It’s true. I’ll call you in a bit. I’m so surprised!”

So he really did put a ring on it. So I cried. I cried for a few of reasons. 1. My best friend is engaged and I was happy for her. 2. My best friend is engaged and probably going to spend all of her free time planning her wedding/with her fiancé/not getting drunk with me and 3. I wanted to eventually get to text her, “Brady proposed,” but that will never happen.

So yeah. Kendra’s engaged now. I’m a little disappointed in John for not making sure all her family and friends were there to witness it, but Kendra said it was very sweet and romantic. Good for them.

Anyway, I really struggled with writing this. The conversation/fight Brady and I had on Wednesday night seems really, really ridiculous now. I wonder if he has looked back on it and thought the same thing. But we haven’t spoken at all since. Literally the last thing I said to him was, “Have a nice life.” At least it wasn’t “I hate you,” or “I hope you get cancer,” I guess? There’s no way we will never talk again though, right? I still have things at his place. Plus it’s like, we were/are in love. You can’t just turn that off.

I had a rough few days/weekend but I think I’m okay now. Also, I want to thank everyone for being so sweet to me on my last post. I probably shouldn’t have posted that knowing I was upset and volatile and everything. I do want to apologize to the commenter, Jia, for being so rude and nasty to her (even though she won’t be reading anymore). Like I said, I should not have posted that when I did. But thanks for the kind words everyone! Love y’all!!

Hii! This is going to be super short – Brady and I broke up. I’ll talk about it more in a couple of days, but I just wanted to let everyone know. Have a good day y’all!

❤ Reese

My week was pretty uneventful. I went to Dallas on Tuesday and Wednesday and I actually had a lot of fun. Something about Dallas just feels homey and nostalgic to me. I love it.

When I got back to Chicago on Wednesday Kendra texted me and asked if I wanted to meet up. I told her I would so we got sushi. Apparently she wanted to come clean about getting back with John. She said that they’re taking it slow and discussing their options. I nodded and agreed at first even though I did not agree at all. But as she continued talking, I started to realize that I was being a bit ridiculous. She and John were together for six years and he was a pretty stand up boyfriend for all of it. Every single time my college boyfriend and I broke up or he cheated on me, Kendra was right there supporting me. She was usually telling me how stupid he was or how I needed to be done with him because I looked like a fool, but she was always there. I needed to be like that for her. 

I can’t believe I was actually supporting Kendra and John getting back together. And she admitted that it’s been going on since November. So I mean, whatever, but I don’t appreciate her hiding it this long.

I went to Brady’s on Thursday after work. He was sitting there on his laptop looking like he was completely over life which seems to be the norm lately. I tried to get him to talk, but he was short so I left him alone for a while, figuring he could finish his work. Then I went back and decided he needed a break.

“Okay, Mopey,” I said. “Get up. We are going out.”

Brady looked up at me, looking somewhat amused. “Where are we going?”

“I don’t know, but you need to get away from that fucking laptop. It does nothing but piss you off.”

He nodded slowly and sighed like he knew that was true. So we went to one of my fave places where a lot of finance guys go after work. I used to like to go there to get hit on, but they have good drink specials and quesadillas too. After we got settled in I asked him to tell me about work.

“It’s fine,” he started to say, but I cut him off.

“No it isn’t. Tell me what’s going on. You can vent to me,” I said.

So he did, finally. But I still felt like he was kind of annoyed with having to tell me. Maybe I’m just not a good person to talk to. I wish I was. I feel like my friend, Brittany, is. I mean, I don’t really talk to her about anything but apparently she and Brady had a ton to talk about.

We ate and had drinks and actually had fun. I’m glad he didn’t let his stupid job ruin his mood. I would have. #negativenancy

It started to get late and Brady said, “We should take a shot and then get going.”

Patron shots were on special so we got those, paid the bill then left. Even though it was cold out, we didn’t rush to the car. We slowly enjoyed the night and the buildings and people and each other. It was actually pretty sweet. Until I got too cold and ran to the car. Then we went home and warmed each other up.

On Friday I had conference calls plus a one on one call with Andrew. I felt like we had been pretty good the past few weeks, but he was back to being an asshole. He was like, “Reese, you and I are going to do a mock walk through of the Tennessee store next week and I expect it to be perfect. And if something isn’t, you better have a good reason why it isn’t.”

I wanted to argue that I wouldn’t even be in the store before then to make sure it was in good shape, but I was too afraid to. His tone sounded really threatening. I started an email to the Tennessee manager instead.

After work I got dinner and went to Brady’s. He let me in and I followed him to the dining room where a bouquet of red roses were sitting on the table. And a little red Cartier box was sitting in front of it. I automatically thought he was proposing and was disappointed at how not romantic it was.

I looked at Brady and he was just standing there looking really exhausted. Poor guy.

“I got you something,” he said and passed me the box.

“Thanks,” I said, taking it. I actually did get him something but I planned on giving it to him Saturday (Valentine’s Day).

So it wasn’t an engagement ring. Obviously. It was a Cartier Love bracelet – the classic one you have to use the little screwdriver to get on. Kylie Jenner has like a dozen of them. It’s a classic bracelet and I do like it but I never really thought of getting one on my own.

“Wow, thank you. It’s beautiful,” I said genuinely and I leaned over to hug him. He hugged me back and seemed to sigh in relief that I liked it.

He helped me put it on then gave me the rest of my gift: a box of macarons which I didn’t need at all. But obviously I wasn’t complaining and ate them all before the night was over.

We drank wine and had a relaxing evening. On Saturday we hung out around the house and I finally decided to aplogize about my most recent antics.

“I sent that stuff I ordered back,” I said while we were sitting in bed. 

“What stuff?” he asked.

“The stuff I ordered with your credit card. You know, the bag…”

“Oh yeah!”

“Yeah. So I feel really bad. I shouldn’t have ordered all that stuff. I’m glad you’re not mad. Are you?”

“Mmhm,” Brady murmured. That’s when I realized that he was looking at his phone and not paying attention to me.

“Are you even listening to me?” I asked through clenched teeth. I felt a tantrum coming on.

“Of course I am,” he said, putting his phone down. He put his arms around my waist, but didn’t answer whether or not he was mad. So obviously he wasn’t listening.

I was silent for a moment before saying, “So you aren’t mad?”

“It isn’t that big of a deal. You didn’t have to send anything back,” Brady said.

I wanted to strangle him. Why doesn’t he ever want to talk about anything when I bring it up? How am I supposed to talk about anything when he just brushes everything off and says it wasn’t a big deal? I wasn’t even about to bring up the phone because I was so frustrated.

We went to dinner with Chris, Carly, Kendra and John for Valentine’s Day. I was annoyed, but we had a good time still. We got chocolate covered strawberries and I had to watch Kendra and John feed them to each other. It was actually pretty disgusting, but good for them.

After dinner I gave Brady his gift: a massage at a spa. I included a card that said, “I know between me and the hospital you’re really stressed. I hope this helps! <3" It wasn't nearly as nice as the gift he got me but I didn't know we were doing extravagant gifts. Plus Valentine's Day is supposed to be all about the girl, right? No? Okay.

Anyway, thanks for all the comments on my last post. I appreciate all of them! As most of you know I started this blog to learn more about myself and this is teaching me so much more than I ever imagined. Like one commenter said, this blog is all of my unfiltered and honest thoughts. That's the only way I think I can expect honest comments from you guys. I definitely take all of the advice into consideration, but I can't change who I am or how I act. That just isn't going to happen. But I'm honestly trying to become a better version of myself and become more aware of how I treat people. I think I'm getting there. So thanks.

So Brady stayed mad at me most of Friday. I had conference calls all day then met Preston for dinner. Preston always makes me feel better about my life. I told him what was going on and he rolled his eyes and said, “Why does Brady pretend like he didn’t know you were a crazy bitch from the beginning?”

He has a point.

During dinner Preston said, “Can you believe Kendra and John are back together? Did you think she would take him back?”

I almost spit out my drink. “Wait, how do you know?”

I had no idea that Kendra and John were officially back together. She hadn’t mentioned anything to me.

Preston gasped dramatically. “She didn’t tell you?!”

I shook my head.

“Well forget I said anything,” he said, but I was already texting Kendra something along the lines of, “Thanks for the relationship status update!”

When I got home I wasted time until I couldn’t stand it anymore. I texted Brady, “Hey, miss you!”

He replied an hour later, “You too.”

Ugh. After taking a moment to calm myself down, I called him. He didn’t answer. I was drafting a hateful message about how he is lucky to have me when he said, “I’ll call you in a bit. I’m wrapping up things at work.”

Still? It was almost 11:00 PM. I’m not exactly sure what Brady does at work, but that seems really late. Especially since he had gone in so early.

When he called, I immediately invited him over. He agreed so I had to speed clean/throw everything in my closet.

I threw my arms around Brady when I let him in. I completely forgot that he was supposed to be mad at me and I think he did too.

“How was work?” I asked as we sat down on my couch.

“Fine. Busy,” Brady yawned. He even looked exhausted. I felt bad for never letting him vent about work to me.

“Really? What were you doing?” I asked.

Brady gave me an almost annoyed look. “Working.”

I was taken aback and got up before I said something bitchy/cried. I went to the kitchen and made a bag of popcorn and when I came back, Brady was sleeping – sitting straight up with his shoes still on. He looked so cute that I didn’t even want to wake him up. I did eventually and made him get in bed with me.

On Saturday morning I allowed Brady to sleep in because he was obviously exhausted. I planned on making breakfast but I ended up watching Sex and the City so we went to brunch instead. We were talking about everything except the bags and the phone thing so I didn’t want to bring it up. Why ruin a nice meal?

After brunch when we were walking to the car, Brady suddenly stopped walking and kissed me in the middle of the sidewalk. I absolutely hate PDA unless I’m drunk, but I actually didn’t mind it.

On Saturday night Carly got invited to some nightclub so we got dressed up and went. I really didn’t want to, but everyone was going and I didn’t want to miss out. Plus everyone told me I should take a break from drinking so I needed one last hoorah.

I felt like being the hottest chick at the club so I wore a tiny dress, a blazer and pumps. Brady, Carly, Chris and I met Preston, his date and one of Preston’s friends there and we started drinking immediately. I told myself I would pace myself and not get too crazy so I got a beer. I like beer, but I hate how it makes me bloated so I switched to liquor. Turn up.

So we were all just hanging out in between the bathrooms and the bar and while Brady was talking, I guess he kind of bumped into a girl who was walking past. She dramatically grabbed her chest and shouted, “Ouch!”

Brady started apologizing and the girl was being super loud and telling him he needed to watch what he was doing, etc. Like you’re in a crowded club, you psycho. Of course you’re going to get bumped into.

Brady was standing in between me and the girl so I peeked around him so I could see her.

“Do we have a problem?” I asked really sweetly and literally everyone was like, “No Reese, everything is fine, calm down, it’s not a big deal, Reese breathe, chill out, etc etc…”

Lol what? I didn’t even do anything. I guess everyone is just used to me causing a scene.

Later on, Brady and I were hiding out in a corner being THAT couple. His hands were all over me and he was kissing my neck and I didn’t even care.

“Hey!” I said abruptly. “Are you pissed at me?”

He barely took his lips off me to say, “No, should I be?”

“Well because I bought stuff!” I yelled over the music.

“Oh. It’s cool.”

So yeah. Guess I can keep the bags?

When we got back to Brady and Chris’s, it was really late and I planned on eating then going to bed. But they all wanted to keep drinking. I was like hell no. So after I finished my chips and applesauce, I went to Brady’s room and got in bed.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember is Brady loudly joining me in bed.

“Are you okay?” I asked. 

“Mmmmhm,” Brady said climbing on top of me. “I love you.”

And then he started rambling and I could tell he was super, super drunk. I kind of felt bad for him. Brady usually holds his alcohol pretty well, but clearly he’d had too much. I made him lay his head on my boobs while I rubbed his back and he passed out like that. Two hours later my entire body felt numb so I had to push him off.

On Sunday morning I expected Brady to be hungover but he woke up early for a run. Why can’t I recover like that? I didn’t drink as much but still couldn’t get out of bed.

Brady spent the day working at home which was annoying, but I took y’all’s advice and made him dinner, rubbed his shoulders and even made him take a break so we could hook up. Who says I’m not wife material?

On Monday, I went into the store to do my paperwork. Andrew sent me a ton of emails with things I needed to do and he needed reports on so I worked on that. In the middle of the day I got a phone call from one of the managers who said a family emergency came up and she needed to leave work as soon as possible. None of the assistants were answering their phones, but she said she was leaving no matter what. On top of that, the Chicago manager, Leah, came back to me frantic because she’d just accidentally accepted a stolen credit card for a $2,600 sale and didn’t know what to do.

I decided to tackle the first problem first and called Andrew to see what the proper procedure was. I couldn’t just let the girl leave the store unattended. Andrew didn’t answer so I sent him a text asking him what I should do. I figured I might get a quicker response that way.

I did. Andrew replied, “Figure it out. I’m in a meeting.”

Uh, okay.

And almost immediately he sent another text. “Can you hurry and finish your reports? I needed them an hour ago.”

Leah came to the office to ask a question that I didn’t know the answer to and I told her that I would find out. Then I went to the bathroom and cried. I can’t believe I cried at work again. I just felt like I had no control of what was going on. After about two minutes, I pulled myself together and went back to work. Sometimes you just need a good cry.

After work I was so done with the day. I just wanted to see my boyfriend. I went over there when he got off prepared to tell him how horrible my day and boss were, but he was obviously just as stressed as I was. He was working on his laptop and told me that he would be done in a minute. He didn’t look pleased at all.

When he was done, Brady came in his room and got undressed without a word. I pried and pried asking if everything was okay and finally Brady said, “I don’t know. I just feel like I don’t want to be a pharmacist anymore.”

That was not what I was expecting him to say at all. I thought he said he enjoyed his job and thought it was rewarding and all that?

“Really?” I said surprised. “What else would you want to do?”

“Nothing. I don’t know. It’s fine.”

I felt awful because it obviously wasn’t fine and I felt like there was nothing I could do for him. What is a person supposed to do when they don’t want to do the only thing they know how to do anymore? At least we have that vacation next month to look forward to. We obviously both need it. 

Anyway, Valentine’s Day is this weekend and I think I should do something cute. We don’t have plans or anything yet (so he probably isn’t proposing lol) but what can a non-romantic girl like me do?

I kind of forgot about all the stuff I ordered until Wednesday morning when Brady texted me, “How much did you spend on Sunday?”

I had just gotten to work so I stalled by putting my stuff down and talking to everyone. Then I replied, “I can’t remember but I got you something!”

He said, “I don’t want anything.”

“But you’ll love it!”

“Ok.”

I could tell he wasn’t happy with me so I said, “Love you! Can’t wait to see you later!”

He didn’t reply until lunch time so I distracted myself with work all morning. Because of the weather I didn’t have to travel on Tuesday and Wednesday and instead communicated with the managers via phone and email. Andrew told me that I should check in with each store at least once a day to go over business. So he wants me to nag them like he nags me.

At around 1:00, Brady finally texted me back, “You too.”

Shit. He was pissed. I knew I needed to apologize so I immediately called him. I figured he was probably taking a break for lunch too.

He sent me to voicemail and texted me, “Sorry, I’m busy.”

RUDE. Have you ever had someone reject you and you actually felt your heart break? That was me. I decided not to bother him for the rest of the day and met Kendra and Preston for happy hour.

Preston wanted us to know that he was officially done with Mr. Murphy and on the prowl. Kendra said that a new gay started at her office and she thought he and Preston should meet. Preston immediately wanted to know his Facebook/Instagram/LinkedIn which Kendra didn’t know. She isn’t a very good matchmaker.

In the middle of happy hour, Brady finally called me back and I jumped up from the table and ran to the bathroom to answer it. Thirsty.

“Hey,” I answered coolly.

“Hey, sorry. I’m just now leaving work,” Brady said.

“Oh, it’s fine,” I said and we began some almost awkward small talk for a few minutes.

Then he said, “I’m almost home, do you want to come over?”

Whew. At least he still wanted to hang out with me. I went and wrapped up happy hour then headed over. When I got there Brady was doing something I’ve never seen him do. Smoking alone. And on a weeknight which I don’t think I’ve seen him do either. I knew it was probs my fault.

He offered me the pipe thingy and I took it. An hour later Brady was sitting on the couch with his hands behind his head and I was straddling him topless with my tits dangling in his face. He looked so fucking cute.

I climbed off a little so I could pull Brady’s penis out then I pushed my thong to the side and hopped on. I don’t know if it was the friction from my panties or the weed or how hot Brady looked or the fact that he was actually whispering dirty things to me, but I came almost immediately. That never happens to me from just intercourse.

I quickly dropped to my knees in between Brady’s thighs and started sucking. I could at least finish him off nicely. This lasted a few minutes until he was about to come then he yanked me up and put me back on his penis. Oh. He grabbed my hips and bounced me up and down until he came.

So I’m not going to lie, Brady and I never use condoms anymore which I know is bad. Usually he pulls out, but sometimes he doesn’t. He’s never deliberately came inside me like that though.

On Thursday I worked from home so by 6:30 I was going stir crazy and ready to get out of the house. I texted Brady that we should get dinner and drinks when he got off and he said he would pick me up around 8:00. I don’t know why, but I was already ready to drink so I made myself a glass of tequila and Sprite. I put on a pair of jeans, a sweater, booties and some jewelry then pulled my hair into a side braid.

I hadn’t really eaten much during the day so by the time Brady came to get me I was tipsy. I tried to hide it though because I didn’t want him to judge me for a. drinking alone, b. getting drunk alone and c. being a hot mess.

“Hey you,” I said, climbing in the passenger seat.

I was trying so hard not to let on that I was tipsy that the car ride to the Mexican place was kind of awkward lol. As soon as we sat down I started shoveling chips and salsa in my mouth because I was starving. Then we ordered pineapple margaritas and when they came out they were fucking huge.

Brady ordered food, but all I needed was my margarita. By the time I finished it, I was druuuuunk. The waitress came back to check on us and I ordered one more for me and one for Brady even though he wasn’t even halfway done with his first one.

I started rambling on and on about work and Brady kept looking around and telling me to shh. Apparently I was being loud. There weren’t really a lot of people in the small restaurant so I really didn’t think it was a big deal.

I announced that I had to use the bathroom and after getting lost (the restaurant was dark) I went in and pottied then called my mom and Kendra. Then I took some selfies because the Spanish tiles and Mexican decor was so pretty.

I must have been gone for a while because when I got back to the table, Brady asked, “Where have you been?”

“Whatttt?” I said defensively.

He just kind of shook his head and didn’t reply.

Not long after that our waitress came over to tell us the bar was closing and did we want anything else? Someone had turned the music down and the lights came on and it felt like when you stay at the club until it closes.

I said something like, “I guess I’ll take the hint when I’m not wanted.”

And Brady was like, “Reese!”

Was that rude? The waitress didn’t even hear me. We got outside and I suddenly decided that I wanted to take a nice stroll around the neighborhood. I grabbed Brady’s hand and told him we should take a romantic walk.

“Reese, no,” he said calmly.

I pouted. “Why are you being mean?”

“I’m not. It’s just really cold.” Brady was rubbing his gloved hands together and was visibly uncomfortable, but I felt fine.

“Oh my gosh, you’re such a babyyyyy,” Drunk Reese said and continued walking. He would have to follow, right?

I was halfway down the block when I felt Brady grab my arm, hard.

“Reese, it’s too fucking cold for this. Let’s go,” he said sternly.

I actually liked the way he was standing up to me so I happily followed him to the car. On the way home he said, “We can take a walk in the spring, okay?” Which was sweet.

We immediately got undressed and in bed and fooled around for a little bit before Brady fell asleep. I couldn’t sleep so I sat up reading work emails. Drunk Reese spotted Brady’s phone sitting on the nightstand and got a really good dumb idea. I crawled over his body to get the phone and as stealthily as I could, I put his thumb on the touch ID thing.

Well, apparently it wasn’t stealthy enough because Brady pulled his hand away and opened his eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he demanded.

I really didn’t have an answer to that because I don’t really know what I was doing. So I just giggled.

Brady seemed to realize what I was trying to do and snatched the phone from my hand and got out of bed.

“What are you doing?” I asked nervously. He seemed really, really pissed. 

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he mumbled, grabbed a pillow and stormed out.

So that worked out well. I don’t even know why I did that. I think I just saw an opportunity and took it. I haven’t had the urge to go through his phone or anything since our heart to heart which I was proud of. This just diminished all that.

At the time I was just like whatever and fell asleep. But when I woke up I felt awful especially when I realized that Brady was already at work and didn’t even say goodbye to me.

So, time for some damage control I guess.

Since Sunday was the Super Bowl, Brady and Chris (and me #thirdroommate) were going to have people over. There was a fucking blizzard out so everyone pretty much cancelled except Kendra because she doesn’t live that far from Brady. And she said she was dying to get out of her apartment. So I made a pizza and some baked buffalo wings I saw on Pinterest. They actually turned out really, really good. We also had wine and Brady made drinks so by the time Kendra got there I was drunk.

I literally didn’t see Brady all week until Thursday because he worked late Monday, I traveled Tuesday and Wednesday and he worked late Wednesday night. When I got back on Wednesday, Preston called me and wanted to get drinks to tell me about the latest drama in his life. I felt like I hadn’t seen or talked him in forever so I couldn’t wait to catch up.

I squealed when I saw him waiting outside his boutique for me to pick him up.

“Hey princess,” he said, getting into the passenger seat. We hugged quickly and then pulled apart.

“What’s this?” Preston asked, tugging on the sleeve of my jacket.

“Free People,” I explained.

“Oh. Chic.”

We drove to Wicker for pizza and drinks and gossip. While we waited for our skinny veggie pizza to get to our table, Preston said, “I have so fucking much to tell you.”

“Spill.”

“I met up with this sexy man from Grindr on Sunday. He was visiting from LA and we went to dinner. An hour later, his dick was down my throat.” Preston sipped his beer with a straw. 

“Preston.”

“I know. Anyway, we had so much fun that he’s already booked me a flight to LA for the end of February.”

“I’m jealous,” I said.

“You should be. Also, I’ve been talking to Mr. Murphy. Before you say anything, he reached out to me and wanted to apologize for everything that happened.”

I nodded.

“Apparently he realized what a manipulative twat Dillon is so he came crawling back. Obviously.”

“And you’re going to take him back after all that?”

“I didn’t fucking say that, Reese.” Preston rolled his eyes dramatically at me. “But I’m willing to hear him out. And if he gets me a good enough gift, I’ll consider rekindling things with him. I was thinking a Rolex. I found one I love and it’s only $15,000.”

“Ooo, let me see!” I enthused.

We spent the next twenty minutes looking at possible watches for Mr. Murphy to buy him.

“But I don’t know, I kind of love being single. So much freedom,” Preston said, putting his phone down. “But I also need to settle down after that pregnancy and STD scare.”

“What scare?” I asked.

“Well, I was hooking up a lot and not always using condoms. I was starting to see…symptoms so I went to the clinic. Thank Ariana Grande it turned out to be strep throat.”

I laughed. I can’t tell you how many STD scares Preston has had. The first time he had one, he came to my office on his lunch break in complete shambles. We holed up in one of the bathrooms for two hours trying to figure out what to do. Finally, he set up an appointment with a clinic in the suburbs (so no one would see him, obviously) to get tested for everything, specifically HIV/AIDS. He was so nervous and vowed not to ever have unprotected sex or hook up with random guys on Grindr for money again. The results took a week to come back and when everything came back negative, he texted me saying, “I need a hot boy to fuck tonight.”

“Anyway,” Preston said. “How’s that man of yours? Have you talked him in to marrying you yet?”

“Not yet,” I said. “But we are toooooootally going to. Did I tell you he asked me to move in with him?”

Preston gasped. “No! Are you going to?” 

“Well, I didn’t say yes or no. Would that be weird if I did?”

“Yes! Does he know how messy you are?” 

“No,” I admitted. “But I’m getting a lot better. I can turn into a housewife. I think it might be fun.”

“Reese, if you’re ready to become a housewife then do it. I love you guys together. I can’t wait to be your bridesmaid.”

At that point Brady and I hadn’t even talked about me moving in since the first night he brought it up so I wasn’t even sure if he still wanted me to. Maybe he was just saying that to make me feel better after our fight. I told myself I would bring it up the next time I saw him.

Which turned out to be after work on Thursday. We got off around the same time and I made us glasses of wine to unwind.

“How was work?” I asked, sipping my wine.

We were sitting on the couch with our wine and my feet were in Brady’s lap but he was hunched over, trying to type on his laptop on the coffee table.

“It was fine. I’m trying to this done now so I don’t have to stay late tomorrow.”

“K, I’ll wait,” I said.

Brady kind of laughed. “How was work for you?”

“Fantastic because I didn’t hear from Andrew all day. It makes such a difference. I really feel like his main goal in life is to annoy me. Sometimes I wonder if he ever does any other work.”

“Perhaps if you prove to him that you have everything under control, he will leave you alone.”

“Perhaps.” For some reason, I just don’t feel like that’s the case. 

“Did you find out if you’ll be able to take off for Mexico?” I asked.

“With the way things are going now, I won’t,” Brady said and my face fell. “But things will be better by then so we should be good.”

“It better be. This trip is non-refundable.”

“Don’t worry.” Brady patted the top of my head like I’m a puppy.

“Plus I bought of ton of new cute stuff to wear. Let me show you!” I grabbed his laptop from the table so I could show him all the stuff I recently bought online. I love showing Brady my new purchases because he says things like, “The color of that dress will complement your skin very nicely,” and “Your legs will look amazing in that.” He has no idea what he’s talking about but it’s so cute that he tries.

I went to Gmail so I could pull up my sales receipt, but Brady was already logged in. I went to sign him out because I didn’t want to snoop or be caught snooping, but before I could I saw an email from Cartier.com. 

Holy shit. 

I quickly signed him out before I could read what it was about. The first thing I thought of was Arianna’s blog when Lukas proposed to Liz with a Cartier ring (these fictional blogs are becoming a part of my life lol) so I thought Brady was proposing. It’s not like he wears any jewelry or anything so I didn’t know why else Cartier would be emailing him.

I showed him the new bathing suits, coverups and dresses I ordered and he obviously loved everything. Then he got up and headed to his room and before I followed, I texted my mom saying, “Is Brady proposing?”

I told him that he had to get my parents permission before proposing to me so if he was, she would have to know. Although, I’m not sure when he would’ve gotten the chance to ask them.

My mom immediately replied, “He is? OMG I’m so happy, I can’t wait to help you plan!”

And I was like, “No mom, I’m asking you. Is he?”

She said, “Oh idk.”

Ugh.

Even though my mom knew nothing about it, I was still convinced that Brady was proposing and I was so excited. I skipped to his room where I found him in just his undershirt and pants. 

“Hiiiii,” I sang to my soon-to-be fiancé. I stopped in front of him and kissed him before dropping to my knees. Time to give bae the best blow job ever so he knows I’m the one.

After he came, we got in bed and he tried to keep fooling around, but I wanted to ask him about me moving in.

“Hey,” I said, taking my shirt off. “Were you serious about me moving in here?”

Brady shrugged. “It’s up to you. I don’t mind.”

I wanted to be like, “Of course you don’t mind, it was your idea!”

But instead I said, “Do you want me to?”

“Um, sure. I wouldn’t make you sign or lease or anything so it wouldn’t be as conplicated if it didn’t work out.”

“Heyyyyy!” I swatted his shoulder. “Why wouldn’t it work out? Why would you even say that?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to throw that out there in case that is what you are having reservations about that.”

“I’m not worried about a lease or anything like that. I’ve just never lived with a guy. Not even a gay guy,” I said

He laughed. “I’ve never lived with a woman either. Except my mother but I don’t imagine that counts.”

I rolled my eyes at him mentioning his mom. “What if we live together and hate each other?”

“Then we probably shouldn’t get married,” he smirked. “I don’t see why we would hate each other though. You are here quite frequently anyway.”

I love conversations like that with Brady. It was fun/funny, but we were still being honest and opening up to each other. I decided that I think I will do it. I just don’t know what kind of fights we might get in to living with each other, but I know it will happen. 

On Friday, Andrew was in Chicago and we spent the majority of the day at the store and on conference calls. He treated me to lunch and told me that some of the NYC bigwigs will be visiting the new store in Tennessee next month so we need to prepare. By the end of lunch I had a twenty seven item to do list written. God, he stresses me out.

Andrew told me he was staying in the city for the weekend and asked where the good places to go out at night were. I told him that my friends and I usually stick to River North/Streeterville and named a few of the bars I like. I thought nothing of it. 

I stayed at work so late on Friday night that I was too tired to do anything except go home, shower and get in bed. 

I called my mom on Saturday morning. Before I could even say anything she started complaining about my dad. Apparently she ordered something really expensive online (wouldn’t tell me what it was) and when it came my dad signed for it, realized what it was, and sent it back. My mom was rightfully pissed and complained to me about every little thing that my dad does and she puts up with. So she thinks he should put her with a “little” shopping.

Once she was done venting, she said, “Anyway, how are you, babe?”

I immediately told her what I saw in Brady’s email.

“Ooo, Cartier!” she gasped. She pronounced it “carty-air.” She acts like such a poor person sometimes. “Your dad still always gets me Tiffany. Cartier is way better!”

“What if Brady got me an engagement ring, Mom? What will I do?” I asked.

“You love him. You’ll say yes. I was already married with a toddler by the time I was your age. If he is willing to marry you, you need to accept.”

I think my mom is afraid that no man is ever going to wife me because I’m so crazy. She’s crazier than me and my dad married her so.

On Saturday night, Brady and I went out for dinner and drinks in River North. The plan was to eat then go to the bar and get drunk.

We walked in and as the host was seating us, I glanced to the back. It was pretty empty for a Saturday night (probably because of the impending snow storm) and I saw a group of really good looking tall men standing near one of the pool tables. I thought one of them looked like Andrew at first, but I was like, “Nah,” but then he waved.

“Oh Godddd,” I groaned.

“What?” Brady looked at me quizzically after we sat down.

“My boss is over there,” I said in a hushed voice. “Don’t look. Maybe he will think it’s not me.”

“Okay,” Brady whispered, but one second later he looked up at Andrew who making a beeline for us.

“Heyyy Reese buddy!” he bellowed.

“Oh hi!” I said pretending to be surprised. I stood up to give him a really fake one armed hug and Brady stood up too because he’s polite.

They introduced themselves to each other before I got the chance to.

“Brady!” Andrew said really loudly. “The one with the inconvenient birthday right in the middle of holiday season?”

We both kind of looked at him puzzled. I didn’t understand what he meant at the time, but later on I realized that he was talking about how I told him I couldn’t go to Tennessee because of Brady’s birthday. Rude.

Brady and I both sat down without saying anything and Andrew sank into an empty chair at our table.

“Is your girlfriend here tonight? I would love to meet her,” I said sweetly.

Andrew’s brow furrowed like he was confused for a brief moment then he said, “Oh, no. She stayed home. It’s just me and the guys tonight.” He gestured back to his smokeshow of friends who honestly all looked like a fucking hot ass baseball team.

“So Brady,” Andrew said turning toward him. “What is it that you do?”

I know for a fact that Andrew and I had already talked about this. But I figured maybe he asked just for conversation.

Brady had taken a drink of water so we waited a second for him to finish. “I work in a hospital as a pharmacist.”

“A pharmacist, huh?” Andrew was smiling devilishly. “So you owe more than you make?”

Brady laughed uncomfortably. “Fortunately for me, no.”

At that moment I wished we would have bailed out of there when we had the chance. I was honestly so embarrassed and Andrew didn’t even stop there.

“One of my guys couldn’t get into medical or dental school so he signed up for pharmacy school. Graduated with 150k debt and can’t find a job in his field. He’s working in business to business sales in New York now.”

Brady laughed again.

“But yeah!” Andrew said, sounding satisfied with the awkwardness he caused. “Feel free to come have a drink with us when you’re finished eating.”

Once he was out of earshot I whispered, “Ohmygod, I’msosorryabouthim, nowdoyouseewhatIdealwitheveryday?” 

Brady assured me that it was fine and he wasn’t offended. I was though. After we ate we got the fuck up out of there before Andrew could shove his foot further in his mouth.

We headed out and decided to walk down to another bar. It had started to snow a bit and a Hispanic couple stopped us and asked if I spoke Spanish (do I look like I do?). Brady told them that he did and they asked for directions to get to Union Station. He told them the best way to get there and they were really, really grateful. It was really sweet how thankful they were. It made me want to learn another language. You never know who you’ll might need to communicate with! Maybe I’ll do French. 

I told Brady how cool I thought it was and he told me the awful, racist things his parents said about Spanish speaking people. I literally gasped and said, “That’s disgusting.”

Remember when his dad asked me how I felt about what was going on at the US/Mexico border? Now it makes sense. He said when he told his mom he wanted to go to South America for six months, she told him not to and gave a list of completely unjust reasons why he would be unsafe. I can see why he kind of resents them. I think a lot of times children share the same views as their parents (because that’s what they’re taught) so it’s cool that Brady was smart enough to not let them influence him. His parents are so gross. I look at them completely different now.

Anyway, our night was uneventful other than that. When I woke up I was in a winter wonderland lol so I’ve stayed in bed all day and made my boyfriend bring me food. We are having a Super Bowl party and everyone’s invited! Seriously. Come party with us.