have i let myself go?

Since the trip to NYC was so last minute, I waited until the last minute to pack. I only packed my interview outfit, travel outfit and of course my entire makeup collection because I wasn’t sure what look I wanted to go for. Brady drove me to the airport and on the plane, I practiced some interview questions/worked on my Pinterest wedding/drank martinis.

By the time I got to New York and checked into my hotel it was after midnight and I was exhausted. My interview was at 8:00 AM so I quickly showered and then fell sleep right away.

I set my alarm for 6:00 on Saturday morning so I would have an hour to get ready and an hour to get to my interview. When my alarm went off, I seriously considered snoozing until 8:00 then skipping my interview and exploring the city for a few hours. It’s not like I’m dying for a new job anyway. I could tell Kate that I missed my flight and never made it to NYC, but thanks for the opportunity.

But I’m working on being a more responsible adult so I rolled out of bed, got dressed with my eyes closed and swiped on mascara and concealer. I was out the door by 6:50 so I had time to grab breakfast and a latte. Luckily, Kate was nice enough to book my hotel not far from the building where the headquarters are located and I was able to make it there walking, in less than thirty minutes.

The interview itself was pretty painless. I met with the vp of sales and the director of stores – two girls in their early 30s. One was tall and had on a very New York City outfit: black tights, oversized black tunic, steep black booties and eyeliner. The other woman was tiny and Asian and was the exact opposite of the first woman. She looked like an Easter basket with all her bright colors and jewelry. They asked me a bunch of behavior based questions which I’m super good at. As you guys may or may not know, I’m really good at telling stories.

The taller woman was trying really hard to be intimidating and refused to smile or acknowledge my answers. The Asian girl was really nice though. After the interview, they took me on a tour of the office and I got to see the design suite and the little test store they use to plan the floorplan for all the other stores. It was all really cool. Then they started telling me about past sales directors who had since been promoted to cool jobs like the new store opening coordinator who travels opening the new stores and buyer who decides what things each store sells. And if you do get promoted they will fund your move to NYC. This got me excited. I could finally fulfill my dream of living in New York! The taller girl even said she used to be a sales director and just worked her way up. You would think that would make her more humble, but I guess not.

As we were wrapping everything up, the Asian girl said, “It was so nice meeting you, Reese. I think you would be a great fit for our brand.”

I beamed. After visiting the headquarters and talking to them about the possibilities for growth, I could really see myself working for the company. They are so much more in touch with current fashion trends and technology. As much as I try to get my company more on trend, Dave and Diana like to stick to what they know – which is muted colors and bland silhouettes. They don’t even understand why we need an iPhone app.

But then the taller girl decided to piss on my parade. “If we decide to move forward with you, you’ll be contacted by Kate. If not, thanks for your time.”

Bitch.

After the interview I had to run back to the hotel and book it to the airport to make my flight home. I really wished I had time to explore especially because there were so many cute boutiques on the way to my hotel.

I slept the entire flight home and Brady was waiting for me at the airport. It was like back to reality.

“How did it go?” Brady asked on the way home.

“Fine,” I sighed. “One of the interviewers was kind of a bitch so I probably won’t get it.”

He told me not to think negatively and he thinks I probably will get an offer, etc. I didn’t want to tell him how much I was actually hoping for an offer so that way if one didn’t come, I could pretend I didn’t care.

But whatever. All I really wanted to do was eat and have sex with my boyfriend. We stopped and got food then took it to Brady’s to eat. I asked him what he did Friday night and he told me that he and Chris “stayed home.”

After we ate, I forced Brady into his room and had my way with him. Not that it took much. After that I made Brady come with me shopping. He’s never been shopping with me and I think being a good shopping partner is a vital relationship requirement. I need a man who will be involved, but not too involved, who will endorse all of my purchases, who will not try to make sense of my shopping strategy and most importantly, who will carry my shopping bags and/or purse.

By the time we made it to Nordy’s, I had accumulated four bags and Brady suggested we stop and put them in the car. I spun around; giving him a pitying smile. What a newb.

“We can’t drop anything off yet,” I explained, gently. “I might need to match things before I buy them so we have to keep it all with us.”

Brady gave me a weird look, but said okay. I did a quick lap around Nordstrom and picked up a pair of booties, a scarf, a pair of sunglasses, a watch and a dress that I’ll probably return.

After we left Nordstrom, the annual lights parade was happening and I insisted we stay and watch it because sometimes I’m a child. It ended soon after that so I missed the majority of it.

There was a really happy atmosphere in the city on Saturday evening. I don’t know if it was from the parade or all the tourists visiting or the fact that it wasn’t blisteringly cold, but I texted all my friends and insisted we get dressed up and go to the club.

Carly and Kendra came over to pregame and I decided to wear a black dress, So Kates, and red lipstick. We took Uber to the club and Brady and Chris met us there.

When Brady saw me he said, “Wow, you look really beautiful.”

Lol, what a nerd. I feel like he hardly ever compliments me anymore so I took it. Maybe I’ve let myself go since getting in a relationship. Doesn’t that happen to people?

Somehow I got us a complimentary table in VIP by talking to a bartender and the manager told us to order whatever we wanted. Don’t mind if I do. I ordered us a bottle of rosé and bottles of top shelf tequila and vodka.

I told myself that I wasn’t going to get drunk, but I got drunk. Kendra and Carly did too so we ran around and danced. There’s just nothing like drinking on someone else’s tab. While we were down on the main dance floor, we ran into Derrick and another one of our friends from college, Ronnie.

I momentarily forgot about the falling out Derrick and I had and ran over to them and pulled them into hugs.

“Oh my God, Ronnie!” I screamed, using my Sammi Sweetheart accent.

Ronnie used to have house parties almost every single night in college. He was friends with me and also my ex and we would have so many drunk heart to hearts. He was the number one supporter of our relationship.

“Reese! We were just talking about you!” Ronnie said.

“What did you say?” I asked, glaring at Derrick.

“I was thinking about texting you and asking you to come out tonight,” Ronnie said. “But you’re here anyway so it worked out.”

I smiled and invited them to our table. On the way there, Derrick fell into step next to me and said, “How have you been?”

I can’t lie, I was impressed that even after the falling out we had, he was still being nice and cordial.

We got to our table and I introduced everyone to Ronnie. I ordered us another bottle meanwhile hoping that “order whatever you want” meant that it was on the house. I never actually clarified that with the manager.

We all sat down and I leaned over to Ronnie to catch up. He lives in LA now and was just visiting Chicago for the weekend. I’m actually kind of offended that he didn’t text me and let me know beforehand because I thought we were friends. But whatever.

We were having a pleasant conversation and then Ronnie said, “You know, [ex whose name I refuse to say, type, or think] has been asking about you lately. He misses you.”

My blood stopped pumping and I’m sure my entire face went white. “What?”

“We see each other two or three times a week because our offices are a block from each other. Don’t you want to talk to him?” Ronnie continued.

I started to say, “Why would I want to talk to him?” but I only got to “Why-” before I started sobbing.

Brady was sitting on the other side of me and immediately put his arm around me and asked what was wrong. When I didn’t answer, he looked at Ronnie and said, “What did you do to her?”

I heard Derrick say, “She’s fine. She’s drunk. She cries about everything when she’s drunk.”

True.

“What did I do?” Ronnie asked, sounding genuinely confused. Poor guy.

“Nothing. She’s being dramatic,” Derrick said.

“Fuck off,” Brady said and my head jerked toward him, shocked. Brady is usually so laidback and non-confrontational.

“It’s fine,” I sniffled, trying to smooth over the situation. I looked around for Kendra and Carly. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

I stood up and grabbed them then forced them to go the bathroom with me. They both started touching up their makeup and hair while I explained to them what Ronnie said.

“Do you think he really misses me?” I asked.

Kendra spun around, slapping Carly in the face with her weave. “Who gives a fuck if he misses you? That piece of trash deserves to be single and miserable forever.”

My eyes grew wide.

“Seriously, fuck him. I can’t believe you’re even pretending to care. You have an amazing boyfriend who is in love with you.”

I felt more tears forming. Kendra was totally right. Why was I even entertaining the fact that [redacted] claims he misses me? He’s probably just lonely.

I cleaned myself up then skipped back out there. I couldn’t wait to hug my boyfriend and plan our drunk future.

“Hi baaaabe,” I squealed, jumping on Brady’s lap. I planted a kiss on him, leaving my lipstick all over his lips. It was cute.

“You okay?” he asked.

“So I’ve been thinking,” I said excitedly. “I wouldn’t mind moving to Massachusetts. It seems peaceful.”

“Really?”

Brady seemed happy that I am willing to settle down with him in Massachusetts and we were right in the middle of designing our peaceful little cabin in the woods when Ronnie appeared in front of us.

“It was good seeing you, Reese,” he said. “Maybe we can catch up tomorrow or something.” And then he looked at Brady for approval like he’s some sort of controlling boyfriend. Lol!

I didn’t end up meeting Ronnie before he went home, but I did text him apologizing for my tantrum (if that’s what you want to call it) and assured him that it wasn’t his fault. If anyone kind of understands, it’s Ronnie. He was there for the entire fucked up relationship.

On Monday night, Kate called me.

“Hey, love,” she said in her super cute accent. “How did your interview go?”

“I don’t know,” I said, honestly. “I left feeling really indifferent.”

“They loved you,” she revealed.

“Really?” I asked, surprised. “Even the tall girl?”

“They both did. Josie [the Asian girl] raved about you all day and asked where I found you. Honestly, I think you got it.”

Wow. Even though an offer hadn’t been officially made, I was already feeling nauseous at the thought of having to decide if I was going to take it.

“I know you’re probably so sick of interviews, but there’s one more person I want you to meet,” Kate said.

She explained that she wanted me to meet with the guy who would be my immediate boss. He is in charge of the region I would be taking over and another region. Kate said that it wouldn’t really be a formal interview, but just kind of a casual meeting to make sure that we are on the same wavelength since we would be working together. He will be in Chicago on Friday and she said she gave him my number so he is going to call me to set up a time and place.

After I hung up with Kate, I called my mom. I hadn’t told her about the possible new job at all, but now that an offer might be in the cards, I wanted to know what she thought.

She answered the phone and proceeded to tell me that one of her friends showed her pictures of me on Facebook from over the weekend and she wanted to know how I got my hair like it was. So I had to explain to her that I used a curling wand and that she actually has a curling wand at home that she never uses. My mom is so exhausting.

Finally, I explained to her the job situation and asked her what I should do.

“If they offer you more money, take it!” she said without missing a beat.

“What about my current job? And Diana?” I asked.

“Oh babe, Diana doesn’t expect you to be there forever. You’re young. This is the time where you can hop from job to job until you find something you like. I had thirty jobs when I was in college.”

“Mom, I’m not in college. I can’t just job hop. And I like my job. That’s the problem. Should I risk leaving the job I like for a job I only think I would like better?”

“I don’t think you should pass up an opportunity like this,” my mom said.

Then she started complaining about how my dad has been spending a lot of time at work lately and in fact, he wasn’t even home yet. Then he came home and she hung up.

So I guess I’ll just meet with the guy on Friday and see what happens. I figured when they wanted to fly me to New York that I probably already had it, but still. You never know.

My parents haven’t mentioned coming for Thanksgiving any more so I’m not counting on it. Everyone is going to be here in the city for the holiday so we’re going to have a big Friendsgiving feast at Brady and Chris’s. Kendra is going to do most of the cooking obviously, but Carly and I will help.

I hope y’all have a happy Thanksgiving! ❤

sober tears.

On Monday I had my phone interview and it went really well. So well in fact, that not even an hour after it was over Kate texted me saying, “I heard your interview went well!”

She said the execs in the office want to meet me and asked if I could come to New York City early next week. While I was excited that they wanted to meet me, I can’t just take off work and fly to New York City. I told her that I could go, but it would have to be a weekend. I didn’t hear from her for a few hours so I continued working and kind of forgot about it until Kate called me on my cell phone.

I shut my office door and answered it.

“Hey Reese. I know this is kind of last minute, but we were thinking – we could fly you in on a Friday night red eye, then have the interview Saturday morning and you could be on your way back home by Saturday afternoon,” Kate said.

I didn’t say anything right away. It all seemed kind of rushed. Why were they so thirsty to meet me? I mean, not that I’m complaining. It just seems really fast.

“I know this process is moving fast, but we are trying to get this position filled quickly as the holidays are approaching and this new shop opening,” she explained, as if reading my mind.

“Okay… Let me think about it,” I said. I hadn’t spent any time really, really thinking about if this was even a job I wanted. When Kate explained it to me, it did sound interesting, but I didn’t know if that was enough to make me want to travel all the way to New York City for an interview. I told her I would text her later and let her know.

After work, I went to the fitness class with Kendra and Carly. It was a lot less terrible than last time, but I still regretted going after the first ten minutes of being there. I’m never going back.

On Tuesday, Brady and I got dinner then went back to his place afterwards. I hadn’t told Brady about the potential new job at all aside from the initial conversation Kate and I had at his dad’s party and I wanted to get his take on it. I had tentatively told Kate that I would go to NYC, but I told her I would get back to her after I checked my weekend schedule. I obviously don’t have a weekend schedule except to drink.

I told Brady all about it during dinner and he said, “I don’t see anything wrong with exploring other options. As long as it isn’t affecting your current job. It was responsible of you to schedule your interview for a weekend so you won’t cut into your work.”

I didn’t mention to him that my phone interview was two and a half hours during the workday and I took it from my office. Oops.

He said that until I got an offer, I shouldn’t stress about it. Not that I was stressing or anything. I guess if nothing else, it’s a free trip to New York.

When we got to Brady’s house, he got in the shower while I laid on the bed texting Kate and Preston. Preston was telling me a story about how while he was out with Dillon the other night, Mr. Murphy called him and said he was in the neighborhood and wanted to pick Preston up from his apartment. Preston tried to lie and say he was at work and Murph was like, “Your store closes at 8. Why are you still there?”

So Preston made up this elaborate story about how there was a shoplifter and the police had to come and he had to stay and give a statement, etc. I laughed so hard. Couldn’t he just say there was a meeting or something?

While I was laying there, I noticed Brady’s phone sitting on the nightstand charging. I tried to talk myself out of touching it, but that didn’t work. I don’t know what I was looking for, but I leaned over and took it off the charger. Before when I looked through his phone, all I had to do was slide to unlock it. But apparently he is actually using his touch ID and a passcode so I couldn’t get in. Okay, like I get it. I shouldn’t have been trying to look through his phone, but still. What’s he hiding?

I replaced the phone and minded my own business until he got out of the shower. I waited until he was almost all the way dressed before asking, “What’s your ex-girlfriend’s name?”

Brady’s entire body paused for two or three seconds then he continued pulling his shirt on.

“Anna,” came his muffled voice from under his shirt. Once he got his shirt on he turned his back to me and started touching stuff on his dresser.

“Anna?” I said, almost excitedly. “The same one I saw you talking to at your dad’s party?”

Brady turned around and faced me. “Yeah.” He sounded defensive.

“Oookay. So it hasn’t been ‘a while’ since you’ve seen your ex then,” I said, trying really hard not to sound accusatory.

Brady shrugged.

“Why did you lie?”

“I don’t see why it even matters. I hardly ever talk to her or see her so you don’t have anything to worry about,” he said, gruffly.

“I’m not worried. I just think it’s weird that you didn’t introduce me to her and failed to mention that she was your ex and then lied about the last time you’ve seen her,” I said.

“Okay.”

Okay?! Is there anything worse than when you’re having a discussion and/or argument with your boyfriend and he says, “Okay.” Like fuck you.

“That’s all you have to say?” I asked. “No explanation?”

“What do you want me to say, Reese? You were going to flip out on me no matter what!” Brady said, raising his voice.

“If you told me the truth from the beginning, why would I flip out on you? Do you really think I’m that ridiculous?”

Brady didn’t say anything so I took that as a yes.

“I couldn’t care any less about Anna. I have no reason to flip out over you just talking to her,” I said calmly.

“Well, you’re pretty unpredictable sometimes,” Brady muttered. I watched as he opened the door and left the room.

Before I could even stop myself, I just started crying. Ugh. Sober tears. I felt like I really approached him calmly and not accusingly, but obviously that didn’t work. I was so frustrated. For once, I felt like I actually wasn’t in the wrong. I didn’t want Brady to see me crying so I quickly locked myself in the bathroom to clean myself up. After ten minutes, I’d pulled myself together and emerged from the bathroom. Brady was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I think I’m going to go,” I announced.

“I’m sorry,” Brady said.

“Okay…” I said quietly.

He reached out his hand and without even thinking, I took it. He pulled me on the bed next to him.

“I should have introduced you to Anna,” Brady said. “I’ll take full responsibility for that. I guess I just wanted to avoid any awkwardness.”

I nodded.

“You’ve known that she was my ex the whole time, haven’t you?” he asked.

I nodded again, smirking.

“How?”

Oh…shit.

“Your mom told me,” I blurted out. I was not about to admit to stalking his Facebook.

“Wow, she did?” Brady looked confused.

“Mmhm,” I nodded.

So I’m glad I finally confronted him about Anna and I feel like I got some answers. I’m sure there was a more graceful way to bring the subject up, but I’m anything but graceful. lol.

Anway, I guess I’m going to New York City for a few hours this weekend. Also, my parents are talking about visiting me for Thanksgiving next week. Maybe they can finally meet Brady! We will see. They claim they’re going to visit all the time and never do. Hmph.

i fucking love donuts.

Since it was freezing cold on Friday night, I decided to stay in and have Kendra and Preston over. I didn’t really want to be out and about with the huge gash on my face anyway. Brady was going to the bar with Chris and some of their friends and you’re not going to believe this, but I was totally okay with him going out without me.

Kendra and Preston arrived at around 7:30 with wine and we ordered Chinese food for dinner. Preston told us that he’s seeing Dillon and Mr. Murphy, but still separately.

“I love what I have with both of them separately and I don’t want to ruin that by trying this three way relationship thing. So I’m not going to – for now,” Preston explained.

Kendra got a little offended saying that Preston was basically cheating on both of them. Preston denied it and said that he and Dillon aren’t “technically” together so it doesn’t really count. Kendra didn’t buy it.

After a text message at 10:45 PM, I didn’t hear from Brady for the rest of the night. I found it odd because we were right in the middle of a conversation. An hour later I texted him and said, “Do you want to come over after you’re done partying without me?”

No response.

I started to get worried/suspicious, but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions and text Chris. I figured he was probably having fun and didn’t want to be that guy who was on the phone with his girlfriend all night. I didn’t want to be that girlfriend either.

I didn’t tell Kendra and Preston what was going on because I didn’t want to hear all their theories. They would probably tell me he was cheating on me and having sex with another girl as we were speaking. That was the last thing I wanted to hear. So I continued drinking and laughing with them until we passed out in my living room.

On Saturday morning when I woke up, Brady still hadn’t texted or called me and not hearing anything at all was concerning. I called him and his phone went straight to voicemail. Weird. So I texted Carly to see if she’d been over to their place at all or heard anything and she said that she hadn’t – she worked Friday night and went home afterwards.

Finally, I decided to text Chris. I asked him to have Brady call me if he talked to him. Chris responded, “Will do!” which made me believe that at least Brady wasn’t dead.

Kendra and Preston were hungry so we decided to meet Carly and Dillon at a BYOB brunch place. We stopped and got champagne and vodka then headed over there. While we were waiting for our table, Brady finally called me.

“Hey,” I answered nonchalantly like it hadn’t been over thirteen hours since I’d heard from him.

“Hey. I’m sorry. I lost my phone at the bar,” Brady said.

“What?” I scoffed, already not into his story.

“I just got it back. Fortunately for me, someone was honest and gave it to a bartender,” Brady explained.

“Were you really that drunk?” I asked, surprised and a little annoyed. Brady never does stupid, irresponsible shit like that so I wasn’t sure how I felt about this.

“I must have been.”

He apologized and asked if I wanted to come over. I told him I was about to get breakfast and invited him to come.

We got our table and I ordered lemon french toast and bacon. By the time Brady and Chris arrived, I was pretty tipsy from the champs. Not quite drunk, but way too drunk for 1:00 PM on a Saturday afternoon.

“Oh, look who’s alive,” I said sarcastically when Brady walked in. I made the entire table shift seats so he could sit next to me.

“Hey, I’m sorry about that. I feel like an idiot,” Brady said when he sat down.

I rolled my eyes. “I think it’s really weird that you ‘lost your phone’ and didn’t bother to call me and let me know. I was worried.”

“Well, I couldn’t call you if I didn’t have my phone,” Brady said, kind of laughing.

“Chris has a phone. I’m sure all of your other friends have phones. It’s not like you don’t know my number – you called me from work that time you left your phone at my apartment,” I said.

Everyone at the table was kind of silently eating/listening to our conversation.

“Reese, can we talk about this later?” Brady asked in a hushed tone.

I glared at him. “Why, so you can have some time to think up a good story?”

“No. There isn’t a story to think up. I lost my phone and didn’t get it back until this morning. I couldn’t call you because I don’t have your number memorized. I have my contacts saved to iCloud which is how I was able to call you from work.”

I didn’t say anything.

“I couldn’t exactly do that while I was at the bar.”

“Convenient,” I said. “I just really don’t believe you.”

Brady looked down at his menu with his jaw tight. He didn’t say anything so I continued eating and drinking and gossiping with Preston and Dillon. Brady and I didn’t talk for the rest of the meal.

After we ate, I made plans to get manicures with Kendra, Preston and Dillon and when we got outside to the cold day, I felt Brady’s eyes on me. I turned and he was staring at me expectantly.

I stopped walking and said, “What?”

“Let me guess, you think you did nothing wrong?” he said.

“What? What did I do?” I asked impatiently.

“Seriously?” Brady asked.

I glared at him. “Seriously.”

“You berated me in front of everyone. That was uncalled for.”

“So you think you did nothing wrong?”

“I left my phone at the bar!” Brady yelled. He yelled. “I apologized. What else can I do? You’re being so unreasonable!”

“Don’t fucking yell at me,” I said.

“Reese, are you coming, doll face?” I heard Preston call from the distance.

“Give me a minute!” I shouted back.

I turned back to Brady and he was still staring down at me intensely. “Go with your friends. It doesn’t matter. We aren’t going to resolve anything anyway.”

“What do you want me to do?” I asked with a frustrated sigh.

“I don’t know, perhaps show me a little respect?”

“I do respect you,” I said, crossing my arms. I did feel a little bit bad that he felt that way, but I wasn’t about to back down.

“Yeah?” Brady said. I sensed he wanted to say more – a lot more – but he just said, “Okay.”

“It’s cold so I’m going to leave,” I said abruptly.

He waited a beat then said, “Okay. Me too.”

We both said goodbye very briefly then I ran to catch up with my friends. Once we got settled into our manicure chairs, Kendra asked me what Brady said. I told her the story and she said, “I do think it was a little inappropriate to confront him like that in front of everyone. It was like you wanted to put on a show.”

Which was a little bit offensive. I denied it and she told me that I needed to apologize and make it up to him because I had embarrassed him. I told her that he embarrassed himself.

I didn’t hear from Brady the rest of the day on Saturday. I ended up staying home and watching both Sex and the City movies and falling asleep at 10:30. I probably deserved that.

I slept in on Sunday, woke up and watched tv for a few hours then took the longest shower ever. I wrapped myself in a towel and blow dried my hair until it was just barely damp. As soon as I turned off my blow dryer I heard my phone ping and a light knock on the door. I froze. I don’t really talk to anyone in my building and I wasn’t expecting anyone so I was a little bit freaked out.

I tiptoed to the kitchen where my phone was laying on the counter. I had two missed calls from Brady and a text message.

“Are you home? I’m at your apartment.”

I let out a sigh of relief as I realized it was probably him who was knocking. Sure enough, when I opened the door, Brady was standing there looking sheepish with a familiar pink box in his hand.

“Hey,” I said casually, opening the door to let him in.

“Hey,” he replied. He walked passed me and sat at one of my stools in front of the counter.

“How did you get up here?” I couldn’t help asking.

“Your doorman let me up. I think we are friends now,” Brady said, taking off his coat and stuff.

I followed him to the counter and peeked in the box even though I knew what was there. Donuts. I fucking love donuts. I threw my arms around my sweet boyfriend and he hugged me back. He was still a little bit cold from being outside and since I was still in just a towel, I felt a shiver race through my body.

“Love you,” I heard myself say. I didn’t even mean to, I don’t think. We hadn’t said that to each other in weeks. Maybe that’s how you know it’s real.

“Love you,” Brady whispered, kissing me.

We both seemed to completely forget about the stupid fight we had on Saturday and spent the rest of the day feeding each other donuts.

I already know, the fight was all my fault. I absolutely should’ve waited until we were alone to confront him about it. Hindsight is 20/20 and etc. But I had every right to be annoyed though, didn’t I? Even if he lost his phone, he should have found a way to let me know. Or is that being “unreasonable?”

bloody boobs.

Kendra and I met for dinner on Tuesday night. I didn’t talk to her at all over the weekend so we definitely had some catching up to do.

She seemed to be in good spirits when we sat down at the restaurant. We ordered panzanella and wine and I asked her to tell me about her weekend.

“It was okay. I went into the office on Saturday since I had nothing better to do and I hung out with a girl from work that night. We went to this lounge that I think you would love,” Kendra said.

“That’s good…” I said. I wanted to ask if she’d heard from John, but I didn’t know if he was still off limits.

“Yeah. How was your weekend?” Kendra changed the subject.

I proceeded to tell her all about Dom, Brady’s parents and Anna and she said, “Ugh. Sounds like a oppressed bitch.”

“She is,” I agreed. “Hopefully I don’t have to ever see her again. What do you think about the Anna thing?”

“I can’t tell if it’s sketchy as hell or if Brady is just a pussy. I hope they’re not like, still hooking up or anything.”

“I didn’t get that vibe,” I admitted. “They hadn’t seen each other in a long time, I don’t think.”

“Well hopefully they didn’t exchange numbers and he doesn’t plan on flying out to see her anything.”

I blinked.

“Or fly her here. Honestly Reese, he’s probably already cheated on you.”

“Kendra!” I exclaimed.

“I’m sorry,” she said and then burst into tears. “I didn’t mean that. I just…”

She just sat there bawling and couldn’t get her sentence out. I didn’t know what to do. Our waiter came back with our food and looked startled and uncomfortable at Kendra crying so I motioned for him to set the plates down.

“Kendra,” I said softly.

“I’m fine,” she blubbered. “Seriously. I just need a moment.”

Kendra scrambled out of her chair and headed toward the bathroom. I waited two minutes before following her. She was standing in front of the mirror wiping her face when I got in there.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” she said evenly.

I caught her eye in the mirror and gave her a look.

“This is just hard,” she finally sniffed. “I miss him so much.”

“Do you think maybe you should talk to him?” I asked.

“No. I don’t want to talk to him.”

I knew that she did want to talk to him, but felt like she shouldn’t.

“Even just for closure? I feel like there’s so many unanswered questions.”

Kendra shook her head. “I can’t. It’s fine. I promise. I’m fine. Let’s go eat, I’m starving.”

I followed her back to our table and we didn’t mention John again for the rest of the evening. So I really don’t know what to do. I feel like Kendra needs to talk to him because she’s just going to be miserable if she doesn’t. But I can understand why she won’t. What he did was awful. And I don’t think there’s anything I can do that will make her feel better.

On Wednesday, I met with Kate after work. I felt kind of guilty for meeting with her, but I was curious to hear what she had to say. We met at Starbucks right outside her hotel and both arrived at the same time.

“Hi Reese! So glad to see you again!” she exclaimed, hugging me.

We got lattes and sat at a little table in the corner. We talked about Brady’s dad’s party and why she was there. She’s friends with a guy who works with Brady’s mom for some charity (she’s philanthropic? Who knew?) and he invited her to be his date to the party. I told her about my weekend (without getting too in depth) and she laughed.

Finally, Kate said, “I wanted to meet with you so we could talk about this position. It just came open and after talking with you, I thought you would be perfect.”

“Okay… What is it?”

“So it’s the sales director for the Midwest region. We have six shops in the Midwest and we’re gearing up to open our seventh. So basically you would be in charge of the operations, the people, the budget, and of course the sales of all the shops in your region.”

I nodded.

“In addition to that, we have products in hundreds of retailers across the country so you would oversee those relationships within your region and be a liaison between those stores and our New York office.”

I nodded again.

“When I talked to you, you seemed driven, aggressive, and passionate which is exactly what we need. The person who held this role previously couldn’t be counted on to really dig in and make things happen.”

I didn’t exactly know what she meant by “make things happen” or why she thought I could do it.

“You would spend a lot of time traveling to your stores and making sure they are functioning to capacity, but you would also have operational responsibilities that could be done remotely.”

“Okay…” I said.

“And with this new shop opening, you would be responsible for staffing it completely from the shop manager to the shop assistants. Meaning you would have to recruit to find the people you think would best fit the store.”

I took a moment to let all of this sink in.

“I mean, my background is in marketing and advertising. I don’t know anything about hiring people or anything like that,” I said honestly. And even though I guess the ad team is technically my team, they’re pretty independent so it’s not like I have to help develop them or anything.

“Well, you would have an intense month long training where you would shadow one of our top sales directors. We wouldn’t just throw you in and expect you to know what to do.”

I nodded and then Kate’s face lit up.

“And what intrigued me so much about you is the creative ways you’ve helped increase your company’s sales and client base. As the sales director, you would be in charge of getting creative like that if any of the sales in your region are lagging.”

“It just seems like a complete change of pace from what I’m used to,” I said. “And to be honest, I feel like I haven’t completed my current job. I have so much more I want and need to do.”

Kate said she understood, but continued to sell the position to me. She even brought her laptop out to show me the layout of one of the shops and pictures from a successful in-store event they had in the store that they hosted to boost sales. Then we looked through the holiday catalog which had a ton of things I wanted to buy. Kate was wearing these amazing printed monogram bracelets that she bought from the company and encouraged me to order some for myself online. I just ordered an “R” and a “B.” Oops.

Two hours later, we were wrapping up and I can’t lie, I was interested. She explained that the company as a whole is young and most of the employees, even the executive team, are young – like under 40. And she gave me a brief overview of their bonus structure, which if all my stores did well, would be extremely lucrative.

Kate set up an official interview with someone from HR over the phone for Monday. I feel completely guilty, but I don’t see any harm in at least interviewing.

After I left #Sbux, I was excited about the new opportunity and getting to see Brady. We hadn’t really gotten to spend any significant time together since getting back from Boston and we had things to discuss.

Unfortunately, when I got there he was working on his computer so I waited around. It did give me a chance to figure out how I was going to inquire about his parents and Anna. I decided to ask about his mom first then hopefully that would segue into the conversation about Anna smoothly.

I was waiting on Brady’s bed when he finished his work. He started taking off his tie and I said, “Does your mom like me?”

Very subtle.

“Yeah, of course. Why?” he answered, nonchalantly.

“It just didn’t seem like it last weekend.”

“Did she say something?” Brady asked.

I waited a moment before answering. “No, but that’s the thing. She didn’t say much to me at all.”

“I think she just had a lot going on. She likes you, don’t worry.”

“How do you know?” I pressed on.

Brady put his shirt in his closet then came back out and said, “Because I know.”

“Did you ever introduce her to your ex?” I asked, proud of the way I’d shifted the conversation.

Brady looked at me like he was trying to read me before saying, “Yes.”

“Oh. She liked her too?”

“I guess so.”

He went in the bathroom, I think in an attempt to avoid the conversation, but I was waiting patiently when he came out.

“So what did your mom say when y’all broke up?” I asked.

“I didn’t tell her until several months post breakup,” Brady replied sitting next to me on the bed.

“Why?”

“I guess I just didn’t want to explain.”

I wanted to ask what there was to explain besides that she moved away, but decided against it. I had more important things to figure out.

“So y’all were pretty serious?”

He shrugged. “I guess so.”

“What do you mean you ‘guess so?’ Were you guys in love?” I asked.

Brady kind of smirked. “Why are you asking me all this?”

“I just want to know. You never talk about her,” I smiled innocently.

“I don’t have any reason to,” Brady said.

“Did you love her?” I asked again before he could try to change the subject.

“I did.”

As soon as he said this my heart began to race and I don’t know why.

“Really? Did you think you would marry her?”

I always thought I would marry my college ex. What a naive little idiot I was.

“I don’t know. Not really. I was young,” Brady said.

“Did you guys talk about it?”

“Yeah.”

Wow. So they must have really been serious. There were so many more questions I wanted to ask, but I decided to go for the zinger.

“When’s the last time you saw her?”

Y’all probably won’t believe this, but I hate catching people in lies. It’s just so sad and awkward when they squirm. So I desperately hoped Brady would tell the truth and have an amazing explanation.

“It’s been a while,” Brady said and my heart fell. So much for that.

I couldn’t confront him without admitting that I’d stalked his Facebook until I found a two and a half year old picture of him and Anna so I kind of had to drop it.

We started making out and undressing each other until we were having sex with Brady on top. Brady has one of those headboards with shelves on it where he keeps a few random knick knacks that I’ve never paid any attention to. Apparently he must have been thrusting hard and rocking the bed because I was just laying there enjoying myself when something hard and heavy fell on my face. I’m pretty sure I made the same noise and movements a squirrel makes when it gets hit by a car.

“Oh shit,” I heard Brady say, getting off me.

I sat up and realized that whatever the fuck it was hit me right between the eyes and I was in agonizing pain. I started crying before I could even stop myself. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve cried because of physical pain.

“I’m so sorry,” Brady said even though it really wasn’t his fault.

I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me apologetically. “Am I bleeding?”

“Um, yeah.”

I jumped up and ran to the bathroom to see the damage. I had blood running down the bridge of my nose and it was dripping everywhere. I started crying again.

“Here’s a towel,” Brady said, rushing into the bathroom. Unlike me, he’d put on sweatpants so he wasn’t completely naked. “I’m so sorry, Reese. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

He made me sit down on the toilet so he could help clean my wound and after a few minutes said, “I hope you don’t need stitches.”

“Stitches?!” I cried. My main concern was looking like Frankenstein, walking around with stitches in my face.

“Maybe. It looks deep,” Brady said.

I wasn’t about to get stitches so I held the towel on my face until it stopped bleeding. Brady said since it is in a weird spot right on the edge of my eyebrow where I have a lot of facial movement it will probably keep opening and not heal. And it’s not like a bandaid would exactly fit there either so yeah. Walking around looking like a victim of war now.

Please tell me y’all have almost been on “Sex Sent Me to the ER” too? Share your stories. There has to be something more disgusting and embarrassing than bloody boobs.

weekend with the republicans – pt. two.

On Saturday morning I woke up at 7:00 – I think I couldn’t sleep because I was in a strange place. I got out of bed, showered and put on my most Republican outfit (head to toe J. Crew). Then I ventured upstairs to 1. get some cell service and 2. see if anyone else was up.

I heard a commotion in the kitchen so I checked there first. Brady’s mom was standing at the stove and his dad was sitting at the island with an iPad.

“Hello,” Brady’s mom said shortly. “Brady’s in the shower. Are you hungry?”

I wanted to say no and run for the hills, but that would be rude. So I said yes and then sat at the island and waited. They pretty much ignored my entire existence after that and it was awkward so I just played on my phone.

When Brady finally got out of the shower, we all had breakfast in the dining room. The parents questioned Brady about his job and his condo and a bunch of other stuff, but didn’t ask me anything or really talk to me at all. Maybe they decided they wouldn’t ask girlfriends/wives anything anymore.

The car to take us to Boston was supposed to arrive at 5:00 so we had to start getting ready pretty early. In the middle of the day, Brady’s mom confronted me and said, “This party is quite conservative and I just wanted to make sure what you plan on wearing is appropriate.”

Obviously the party was going to be conservative and obviously I brought a dress with sleeves plus tights because it was cold. I don’t appreciate her treating me like I’m some bimbo who doesn’t know how to act in society.

So we all got ready and Hunter and Dom met us at the house so we could all go together. Hunter looked nice in a navy fitted suit, trimmed facial hair and slicked back bun, but Dom looked the exact opposite of conservative so obviously Brady’s mom didn’t have a little talk with her beforehand. She wore a strapless teal tea length dress with a (most likely faux) fur stole and tiny gold heels. Her dreadlocks were pulled into a huge bun on top of her head and it was so fabulous that I wondered if I could pull off white girl dreads. She had colorful tattoos covering her back, shoulders and biceps and I swear Brady’s mom vommed a little when she walked in.

We all packed into the limo and somehow I ended up next to Dom. The parents weren’t really talking to either of us so I decided to try to be nice again.

“I love your hair. It’s so pretty,” I said.

She turned and glowered at me. “Are you trying to be funny?”

What is that, insecurity? Pure bitchiness? I genuinely thought her hair was pretty, but never fucking mind. I spent the rest of the limo ride pretending to be a part of the conversation.

When we were almost to the venue, Brady’s mom turned to Dom and said, “Can you take that out?” hastily.

She was clearly talking about the nose hoop and Dom simply said, “No.” Even though she’s a complete bitch, I definitely admire her for standing up to Brady’s mom. I don’t think I would’ve had the nerve to.

The party wasn’t like any party I’ve ever been to. First of all, there was no music. How can they even call it a party when there isn’t any music playing? So everyone was just kind of sitting around drinking drinks from the open bar and eating. Brady’s parents had to go make their rounds since they were the hosts so Brady, Hunter, Dom, and I went to the bar to get drinks.

The four of us stood around talking for a few minutes then Dom grabbed Hunter and said, “Let’s go.” And even though she’s about the size of one of his legs, she literally dragged him away.

So Brady and I finally had some kind of alone time. I felt like I hadn’t really talked to him the whole trip.

“She’s kind of rude,” I said once they walked away.

“She feels attacked,” Brady explained.

“I don’t care. I’ve tried making her feel comfortable and she’s been a total bitch. She’s way too defensive,” I said.

We mingled for a little while and then Brady’s mom came over and said she wanted to introduce me to people. So she led me around and introduced me to a bunch of her and Brady’s dad’s coworkers and family friends.

She was like, “This is Brady’s girlfriend,” emphasizing that we aren’t married I guess. It was all obviously just for show because besides introducing me she didn’t say a word to me. I guess she just wanted everyone to know that at least one of her sons is somewhat normal.

After about a half hour of that, she let me go and I set off to find Brady. I couldn’t find him right away, but I did see Hunter and Dom canoodling in a corner so I asked if they’d seen him.

“Right over there,” Hunter pointed to a general direction and I followed.

I found Brady talking to a little brunette who looked vaguely familiar. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and she had on chic black glasses and matte red lipstick. Her skin was very, very fair – but it seemed intentional, like she just wanted to look translucent.

“It was great seeing you,” Brady said and turned to me, putting his arm around my waist. “My mom finally let me have you back?”

I nodded trying to place where I’d seen the brunette girl before and it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. It was Anna! His ex-girlfriend!

“Yeah, she introduced me to like everyone in the room,” I said. “Except her.”

Brady followed my index finger to Anna, who was walking away.

“Who is that?” I asked innocently.

“That is Anna,” Brady said and turned back to me.

“Anna,” I repeated. “How do you know her?”

“We attended a college preparatory summer program together,” Brady explained and kind of laughed. “Lame, I know.”

“Hmm, that sounds fun,” I said. So he just wasn’t going to mention that they dated?

“Not really. Should we get another drink?”

I knew that prying would make me look suspicious so I had to drop the subject. But why wouldn’t he introduce me to Anna or at least be honest about who she is? (I already know what y’all are going to say: “because he was afraid you would cause a scene.” I wouldn’t have.)

While Brady and I were standing near the bar, I met a super tall and skinny slightly British girl named Kate. She is a recruiter for an accessory, gift and lifestyle company and we immediately hit it off and started talking about our lives and jobs. She lives in New York City and travels a ton for work so naturally I was completely jealous.

After about twenty minutes of talking and getting to know each other, Kate said, “You know, I have the perfect position for you and it can be based out of Chicago.”

“Thank you, but I’m not really looking for a new job at the moment,” I said politely. I had no idea what position she had in mind, but I feel like I’m a good place at work right now.

“I know, I know,” Kate assured me. “But sometimes the best opportunities fall into your lap when you least expect it.”

She was right so I told her we could at least exchange information. I didn’t have any business cards with me so I put my number in her phone. She said she will actually be in Chicago for a day this week so she wants to get coffee. Even though I kind of toyed with the idea of getting a new job a few weeks ago, I don’t think I could ever do that to Diana.

Brady’s dad ended up getting hilariously drunk and demanded music so we could all dance. We finally left just after midnight and got back in the limo. We were all pretty tired and didn’t say much the entire ride home. Well, except Brady’s dad. He wouldn’t shut up.

When we got back to the house, I went downstairs and showered/washed my hair then got in bed. I laid there for a little while then I got up to go to Brady’s room. I expected the house to be dark and everyone to be sleeping, but as I was creeping up the stairs I saw that there was a light in the dining room on and I could hear voices. I assumed it was Brady’s parents, but when I heard Brady’s voice I stopped and held my breath so I could hear what he was saying.

He was talking low so I could only make out mumbles then his mom said, very sternly, “I don’t. like. her.”

Brady said something else then I heard the dad say, “Honey…” and then more mumbles. It sounded like someone stood up and started walking so I quickly tiptoed back down the stairs and to my dungeon.

At first I was like, “They were obviously talking about Dom,” but then the more I thought about it, the more I thought they were talking about me. Why would Brady’s mom talk so passionately about Dom to Brady? Dom really isn’t his problem. And then it sounded like Brady’s dad was kind of defending whoever they were talking about when he said, “Honey…” And he hates Dom too so I highly doubt he would defend her.

Our flight left Boston at around noon on Sunday and Brady’s parents insisted on taking us to the airport. They even took us brunch when we got to Boston so maybe they are at least semi human. They didn’t talk to me much, but did ask how I liked the party and if I enjoyed the trip. Actually, I’m kind of obsessed with Brady’s parents’ house and how it’s so big and secluded. If I pumped some more life into it (maybe some TVs, more colorful decor, people who aren’t robots) then I could totally see myself living there.

I’m tempted to ask Brady if his mom hates me. How can I ask that and get an honest answer? Also, I need to confront him about Anna. Or should I not? He told me they were serious, but maybe he just doesn’t think she’s that important anymore?

weekend with the republicans – pt. one.

Our flight left Chicago at 4:00 PM on Friday, but Brady insisted on going to work for a half day. I told Diana I would work from home then spent the day shopping, waxing, and packing. Brady told me he would meet me at the airport so I had Carly drop me off.

I sat around the terminal for almost an hour waiting for Brady to show up. When it was almost boarding time I started getting worried and texted him, “Hurry or I’m going to go without you.”

He replied, “Doubt it. I’m almost there.”

Luckily, he came rushing in ten minutes later and we just barely made the plane. Ugh.

“You shouldn’t have even gone to work. You knew it was going to be hard to break yourself away,” I said once we settled in our seats.

“It’s fine. I made it so that’s all that matters,” Brady said.

We landed in Boston at around 7:00 PM and it was already dark. As we were waiting for our luggage, Brady told me that his parents sent a car to pick us up. Fancy! My parents would have just come to pick us up themselves (like normal American parents).

A sleek black Towncar was waiting outside our terminal and the driver took our luggage and held the doors open for us. All of it was actually kind of dramatic. The drive to his parents house was about an hour and a half. Brady told me cute childhood stories on the way and told me about all the little towns we were passing. I couldn’t see anything because it was dark, but I still appreciated his little tour.

We finally pulled into a long driveway that led down to a huge multistory Tudor style house. When the driver opened my door I stepped out and assessed the property. There was nothing but land and trees as far as I could see and it looked like there was some sort of guest house or barn behind the main house.

“This is cute,” I said nonchalantly as if the whole estate wasn’t spectacular.

“Mmhm,” Brady said as he gathered our stuff. He let us into the beautiful, grand two story foyer that was all cherry wood and brick with a leather seating area, piano, and expertly styled console table. The interior designer in me was instantly impressed.

“Brady?” I heard his mom call from another room. “We’re back here.”

We dropped our stuff in the foyer and followed his mom’s voice and met her in the hallway. She welcomed us with stiff hugs and took our coats. She let us know that Hunter and his wife had also just arrived.

We found them in the kitchen and Hunter said, “Hey Reese. Nice to see you again.” And then he gave me this eyebrow wag that I’m not sure what was supposed to mean.

He was standing next to a tiny little lighter skinned black girl who had black, pink and purple dreadlocks down to her ass. She had on mustard colored tights, a tweed dress that was clearly thrifted or taken out of the garbage and an amazing knee length suede trench coat. I think it was Michael Kors. She had a hoop through her nostril and I suddenly wanted a nose ring.

“I’m Dom,” she said to Brady first and then me.

“Reese,” I said, shaking her hand. I’m only like 5’4, but Dom made me feel like a giant. She had perfect teeth and this amazing plum colored lipstick that I wanted to steal. She was actually strikingly beautiful, not that I would expect any less from Hunter. But they both looked a little bit out of place in the sparkling marble kitchen though.

“Are you guys hungry?” Brady’s mom asked us.

We said no then we all stood around exchanging awkward pleasantries for a few minutes until Brady’s dad came home. He greeted us then we migrated to the living room and all sat around the fireplace/bookshelf situation. I noticed that Dom still had her coat on like she was ready to bolt out of there any minute.

“So!” Brady’s mom said after we all got settled, clearly ready to address the elephant in the room. “You guys are married.”

“We are!” Dom gushed, grabbing Hunter’s hand. “We’re so happy.”

“What made you guys decided not to tell anyone?” Brady’s dad asked, sounding genuinely curious, not condescending.

“We wanted our wedding and our marriage to be about the two of us, not our families or anyone else,” Dom explained.

“What does your family think about this?” Brady’s mom asked.

“I don’t really have family. My dad has been in prison practically my whole life and my mom hasn’t been around in two years.”

“Why is your father in prison?” Brady’s mom asked and it actually offended me. She didn’t say “if you don’t mind me asking,” or anything, she just flat out asked as if it was her business.

“Murder,” Dom said, almost proudly. “And drugs. He was a pretty high profile drug dealer back in the day.”

Silence.

I thought maybe she was making it up just to be ridiculous, but after looking at Hunter’s face I could tell that she was serious.

“What do you do for a living?” Brady’s dad asked, a little too loudly.

“I volunteer full time for a non-profit equal rights campaign.”

More silence. We all knew what “volunteer” meant. You know how most houses have some sort of sound to them? Like at my parent’s house you’ll always hear a TV on or my mom gossiping on the phone or something? This house was eerily quiet. I could almost hear his parents judging.

“Did you go to college?” Brady’s mom asked.

“Nope. I think college is one huge Ponzi scheme designed to convince society that if they don’t go to college then they won’t be successful. I completely disagree with the whole business model,” Dom said, matter of factly.

I looked around and Brady and Hunter were looking down while the parents looked at each other incredulously.

“Do you think Hunter would have been able to get his wonderful job if he didn’t go to college?” Brady’s mom asked.

“Absolutely not. But only because society is conditioned to think that college makes you smarter, a quicker learner, a harder worker…”

“Well, it does,” Brady’s dad said.

“And blue collar workers can’t be hard workers?” Dom challenged.

“Of course they can, Dominique,” he said like she is five years old and I swear I saw her nostrils flare. “But only because they have to be. If they’d gone to college and got good grades like they were supposed to, they wouldn’t have to be blue collar workers.”

“Like they’re ‘supposed to,'” Dom snorted.

I looked around, appalled at the direction this conversation was going. Why wasn’t anyone else saying anything? Couldn’t Hunter at least defend his wife?

Luckily though, Brady’s mom said to Brady, “So how have you been, son?”

“Um, well,” Brady said with a start. We all waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t.

“Does anyone want tea?” Brady’s mom asked, standing up.

Hunter stood up too. “No thanks. Actually, we were going to go to the bar. Do you guys want to come?” He looked at Brady and me.

Brady looked to me for an answer and I nodded my head slightly so his parents didn’t know I was dying to get out of there.

“We’ll go,” Brady said.

Thank God. We all stood up and grabbed our coats and stuff in record time. We told the parents we would be back in a few hours and climbed into Hunter’s rental car and he started toward the bar.

“Your parents are so much worse than you described,” Dom said from the front seat.

“I’m sorry about that, baby,” Hunter replied.

“The only good thing about them is that they’ll leave you with a ton of money when they die.”

Have you guys ever seen that show Snapped? It’s a guilty pleasure of mine. They have a spin off series about killer couples and what Dom said reminded me of that show. I could totally see her talking Hunter into murdering his parents so they could collect the inheritance. I mean, she does have the murder gene from her dad.

We got to civilization and went to a practically empty divey bar, but I didn’t care. I just needed to drink. We ordered our drinks and sat down at a high top table. Brady and Hunter began having some sort of discussion, leaving me and Dom to sit there quietly. I wanted to break the silence, but I’m pretty sure she and I have absolutely nothing in common so I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Soo,” I started. “Let me see your ring!”

I figured since she had just gotten married and she was a girl, she would be dying to show it off. But she gave me a strange look.

“Hunter and I didn’t do rings.”

I wasn’t even going to ask why, but Dom kept going.

“Do you have any idea what it takes to get diamonds? Are you familiar with the diamond trade in Africa? Blood diamonds?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Do you know what people have to do to get diamonds? Children are mining diamonds to fund wars. People want diamonds because they think it shows status, but in actuality, they are just like any other rock. They aren’t worth anything.”

Ooookay.

“Hunter and I got matching tattoos. That’s more permanent and a thug can’t steal it.”

Alrighty then.

“Let me guess,” Dom said, scowling at me. “You want a huge diamond engagement ring that costs three of his monthly pay checks. You just look like that type.”

I don’t know how she got the impression that I’m some high maintenance priss when I was still in my travel attire: leggings, a Wildfox thermal and boots.

“I’m not really that concerned about a ring,” I lied.

Dom rolled her eyes and didn’t say anything.

“So what kind of organization do you volunteer for?” I asked.

“We fight violations to human rights. Discrimination, prejudice, gender inequality, racism, sexism, trafficking… Not that you would know anything about that,” Dom said.

I know I probably should have stayed quiet, but I couldn’t. “Aren’t you kind of prejudging me right now? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to be fighting?”

“If this is the biggest violation to your rights then no, this is not what I’m supposed to be fighting.”

“Um, okay. Don’t you think it’s a little unfair to rank some people’s ‘violations’ ahead of others?”

Dom looked at me wildly. “No I don’t. People are being killed, raped, fired, harassed. Any of that happen to you?”

“No,” I said.

“That’s what I thought.”

She was actually really fucking rude so I turned my attention to Brady and didn’t talk to her again for the rest of the night.

Hunter and Dom dropped us off back at the house, but said they’d gotten a hotel. That was probably a good idea. When we got inside, Brady’s mom was surprisingly still up. She told us that she’d put our bags in our respective rooms so clearly we weren’t allowed to sleep together. Brady’s old bedroom was on the main floor in the center of the house right next to his parents’ room. It was exactly what you would expect from teenage Brady: solid colored linens, immaculate dresser/nightstand, and no art on the walls. Literally so boring.

Brady’s mom put my stuff in a guest bedroom with an attached bathroom in the basement. We all said goodnight and I took a long shower and got in bed. Since I was in the basement, I got absolutely no cell phone reception and I immediately got pissed at Brady’s mom because I know she did it on purpose. I laid there trying to fall asleep, but it was hard because I couldn’t surf Facebook or anything to pass the time. I started looking through all my pictures for a while, but I just couldn’t seem to doze off. I finally decided I would sneak to Brady’s room for a secret late night romp.

I crept upstairs in my ruffle shorts and cami, trying to be as stealthy as possible. The house was even more creepy at night when it was completely dark except the random sconces throughout. I thought I found Brady’s room, but suddenly I couldn’t remember which door was his and which one was his parents. They were literally right next to each other.

Finally I decided to just open the one I thought was his and hope for the best. Thank God I opened the right door. Can you imagine how I would have explained to his parents why I was trying to sneak in their room in the middle of the night?

Brady was tucked into bed looking all adorable, but sat up when I slid in.

“Hey. What’s up?” he said softly.

“I missed you,” I said, crawling into the bed with him. “And I wanted to send you a naughty picture, but your mom put me in a room with no reception. Rude.”

Brady smiled, pulling me close by my waist. “Mmhm. That’s the worst.”

We kissed for a minute and then I crawled on top of him. He was just wearing boxers which was perfect.

“I don’t think we should-” Brady started just as I leaned down to take him into my mouth. He obviously didn’t object anymore.

After I got him excited, I got back up and we had the quietest sex ever. Then I quietly crept out and went back down to the dungeon and passed out.

-I’ll post tomorrow about how the party went, I didn’t have time today. Bye!

rejected.

Kendra convinced Carly and me to take a fitness class with her on Monday night. I figured that it was probably a good idea because I’ve been eating and drinking like a maniac lately. So I threw on a complete Lululemon set I bought when I went through my yoga phase and met them there after work. When we first started the cardio yoga class, Carly and I couldn’t take some of the shit we were doing seriously and kept giggling at the ridiculousness. And then things started to get intense and we were jumping and doing splits and pulling our legs behind our heads. I could barely keep up and I realized that I really need to get in better shape.

By the time the class was over, I was drenched in sweat and could barely move. Kendra said it was fun and we should go every week. I literally laughed out loud in her face. Then I went home and slept in the shower.

On Tuesday, I got a text at around 11:00 saying that my car was ready. I immediately left the office and headed to get it. Having a loaner car was definitely nice, but there’s nothing like having your own shit. After dropping a few month’s rent at the dealership, I decided that since I was out of the office anyway, I would go surprise Brady at work.

I waltzed in there and asked the desk girl where I could find Brady. She told me that she couldn’t tell me anything for security reasons. I explained to her that I’m Brady’s girlfriend and I wanted to surprise him and she made the face my first grade teacher used to make when she told me I couldn’t have another cup of applesauce.

“I really, really can’t do that,” the girl said.

“Seriously? I’m not a terrorist or anything,” I deadpanned.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. She didn’t look sorry at all.

I finally just asked her to page him and she asked, “Should I let him know that his girlfriend is here?”

I was about to be a complete bitch and say, “Isn’t that what I just told you?”

Then I decided that that was unnecessary plus maybe I could still keep the element of surprise going so I told her not to tell him. That’s the least she could do. While we waited, she complimented my bag so I gave her the complete rundown on where I got it, how I found it, and all the key selling points that made me buy it. Maybe I should get into selling?

We were actually in the middle of a great conversation about designer handbags when I heard footsteps.

“Hiiiii,” I sang as Brady approached me.

“Hey. Is everything okay?” he asked, looking all concerned.

“Yes, I was in the neighborhood so I decided to stop by. Wanna get lunch?” I asked.

“I can’t leave right now, I’m sorry,” Brady replied.

“Oh, that’s dumb,” I said. “I just got my car back! I can’t believe it costs so much to, like fix a door.”

“Yeah. It might have been more worthwhile to go through your insurance,” Brady said.

“Well, whatever, what’s done is done,”
I said as he looked at his watch. “Um, am I keeping you from something?”

“I’m sorry, I’m just really busy right now,” he said.

“Um, okayyyy.”

Obviously I felt a little bit rejected, but I guess I kind of understood. Brady said goodbye quickly and walked off. I stayed and talked to my new friend for a few minutes before heading back to work.

After I got off, I decided to make dinner for Brady. Clearly surprising him at work was a fail so I had to go a different route. I made asparagus gratin, garlic roasted potatoes and grilled chicken. It turned out really well for me, honestly. I texted Brady to come over and to bring his appetite.

He got to my apartment at around 7:45 and I let him in.

“Wow, it smells really great in here,” Brady said when he walked in.

“I made dinner and you’re gonna love it,” I said.

I started getting the plates out and Brady said, “I’m sure it’s really good, but I’m really not hungry right now.”

Are you fucking kidding me.

“I told you to bring your appetite!” I practically screamed.

“I’m sorry, Reese. I had lunch really late,” he explained.

As calmly as I could I sat the plates down on the counter. After slaving away in the kitchen like that, I wasn’t really hungry either so it was basically all a waste.

“Okay, cool, thanks,” I said and stormed to my room and slammed the door.

I know I was being kind of a brat, but my own boyfriend had been rejecting me all damn day. I climbed into bed with all my clothes on and texted Carly, “I tried to surprise Brady twice today and he hated them so fuck him.”

I heard my door open and pulled the comforter over my head.

“Reese,” I heard Brady say and I ignored him.

“Reese,” he said again.

“What?” I answered dryly.

I felt Brady climb in the bed and on top of me. I peeked my head out of the comforter and came face to face with him.

He leaned down and kissed my neck and said, “Thank you for making dinner.”

I started to say, “Whatever,” but he pulled the blanket off me and reached under my shirt. He pushed it up so my boobs popped out then started sucking them. Ugh. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Brady made his way down my tummy and stopped just above the waistband of my shorts. “You’re not mad, are you?”

I pushed him off and got on top of him then hastily unbuckled his pants. “Do you not understand how much work I put into dinner?”

“I do. I wish I would’ve known you were making it,” Brady said. He politely gestured for me to get up so he could get my shorts off.

“And I came all the way to your work and you couldn’t even make time for me which is so fucking rude.” I yanked his pants and boxers down.

“I know. I apologize for that. I appreciate you coming to see me.”

“No you don’t. You don’t appreciate anything,” I said.

And then I sat on his dick and we had sex for an hour. I think he appreciated that lol.

i felt like i was babysitting.

I knew Kendra would be delicate and fragile so I was constantly checking in on her. I planned on taking dinner and wine to her apartment on Thursday evening, but she insisted we go to happy hour. I met her at a lowkey spot near her office and by the time I got there she was halfway done with her grande margarita.

“Hi, hun,” I said gently. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine, Reese,” she said like I was being completely ridiculous.

“You are?” I gave her a skeptical look. “Have you talked to John?”

“He came to get his things last night and we talked a little bit. He’s staying with his sister. He’s called me a few times today, but I haven’t picked up. I don’t want to talk to him.”

“Good. You’re way too good for that weird ass loser,” I said.

“Do you want a margarita? I’m going to order another one,” Kendra said, changing the subject.

I let her ramble on about work, her parents, her hair and anything else she could think of that wasn’t John. We talked about Halloween and even though I had a costume and plans, I told Kendra that I would stay home with her.

She waved me off. “I’m fine. I’ll still go out. I already have my costume so I might as well.”

I guess we really didn’t have set in stone plans – Brady and Chris’s friend was having a house party, Chris’s alma mater was having a party, Preston wanted to go to a costume contest at a gay club and I just wanted to drink.

Brady and I did end up doing coordinating costumes: a roaring 20’s couple, kind of Daisy and Jay inspired. I know it’s so last year, but I literally couldn’t think of anything. Plus I’ve been eyeing this amazing Art Deco inspired dress and wanted an excuse to buy it. I wore it with strands of pearls, an amazing intricate headpiece I had expedited from Etsy and my nude Rockstuds (if Daisy had the opportunity to get Rockstuds, she definitely would).

I picked Brady’s “costume” out myself too: black slacks, white dress shirt, suspenders, and a bow tie. The only thing I had to buy was the cool two tone hat. I’m not sure if his costume was accurate for that era, but he looked so fucking hot that I didn’t care.

The weather was absolutely disgusting on Friday so we all met at Brady and Chris’s and took an Uber to one of the parties. The place was decorated like a haunted house with spider webs and mirrors and red lights and shit. It was awful and that plus being miserably cold, I needed to be drunk ASAP.

The bartender was making all these ridiculous Halloween themed drinks like “Candy Corntini” and “Spiked Witch’s Brew Punch.” It was really quite childish (although that punch was delicious). We stayed there for a little while and drank and danced. I was happy to see that Kendra seemed to be having a good time and was even dancing with us. She hardly ever dances anymore. Maybe her and John breaking up isn’t so bad.

After a while, we decided to head to the gay club so Preston and Dillon could enter the costume contest. Their costumes were pretty risqué I thought, but everyone there was practically naked. Brady and Chris only lasted half an hour before they were tired of seeing dicks everywhere and told us they would meet us at the bar.

Preston and Dillon didn’t win, but a zombie stripper did. His costume was really cool so I get it. We took a ton of pictures with everyone then headed down to the bar. We found Brady and Chris standing at the bar with four girls who looked like they were dressed as the Pussycat Dolls. Naturally, I was irritated and wanted to a. let them know that their costumes were tacky and overdone and b. tell them to stay their asses away from my man.

But Carly bounded over and introduced herself to the skanks and didn’t act confrontational at all. I need to be more like that. If Carly didn’t feel threatened and insecure then why should I? Plus, aren’t I supposed to be trying to be less jealous?

Carly continued talking to the girls and learned that one of them is from close to her hometown and they have some of the same friends. I tried to stand there being friendly for a while until I finally got bored. I grabbed Brady’s hand and pulled him into a corner for some couples time. Sometimes when we’re drunk, Brady and I like to have meaningful conversations about life/our future. We were in the middle of a deep discussion about where we thought would be the best place to raise our children when I felt someone grab my ass. It was Kendra.

“Hey lover,” I said, putting my arm around her. Then I turned back to Brady. “We can get so much more for our money in Texas. I just don’t see myself living in Chicago with children.”

For whatever reason, Brady just isn’t into the idea of moving to Texas and wants to stay in Chicago or move back to Massachusetts. Personally, if I’m going to have a bunch of little brats running around then I want a huge house where I can hide from them if I need to. Everyone knows everything is bigger in Texas especially the homes.

“And I don’t see myself living in Texas ever,” Brady said.

I scoffed, offended. “Why? You’ve never lived there. It’s a wonderful place to live and grow up!”

“I don’t think living in the northeast would be that bad,” Kendra spoke up. “I lived summers in Boston and New York City and it was really nice. You could get a nice charming house in the suburbs.”

I glared at her. “You lived there in the summer. Meaning you didn’t witness how it is in the winter. I bet it’s cold and miserable!”

“It can’t be any worse than Chicago,” Kendra pointed out.

“Chicago isn’t an option! That’s why I’m saying we should move to Texas!” I shouted.

Obviously we resolved nothing and the night started winding down a little bit later. The five of us climbed into a cab and I completely intended on dropping Kendra off at home then going home with Brady.

But Kendra said, “Reese, I’ll just spend the night with you.”

Ugh. And with everything going on with her I obviously couldn’t object so the cab dropped us off first. I have never been so sad to say goodbye to my boyf. We got up to my apartment and ripped our costumes off and heated up some pizza rolls. It was literally just like we were back in college.

Kendra confessed that she’d had so much fun and didn’t think about John at all until it was time to go home.

“You’re handling this surprisingly well,” I told her. “I know you’re strong and everything, but you and John were together forever.”

She shrugged. “I guess he really didn’t mean that much to me.”

I don’t know if I believe her.

On Saturday, Kendra and I hung out around my apartment for a few hours then we went to lunch, went shopping, got our nails and eyebrows done, then got Jamba Juice. I felt like I was babysitting.

Finally she said she had some work to do so she went home. Then I passed out on my couch for three hours. I woke up because Brady called and invited me to dinner. He said he would pick me up in thirty minutes so I got up and took a fifteen minute shower then put on black leggings, a huge cable knit sweater and riding boots. And then I spent almost forty minutes doing my hair and makeup. Oops.

After dinner, Brady and I went to his place and chilled for the rest of the night. We slept in on Sunday and laid in bed for a while. We were just laying there talking when Brady suddenly looked at his phone and said, “What the fuck?”

“Hmm?” I wondered.

He was quiet for a moment then turned his phone to show me. On the screen was what looked like a zombie bride and groom complete with a veil, bouquet and blood everywhere. There was so much face makeup and blood that the people were unrecognizable.

“Hunter got married,” Brady explained after seeing my confused face.

Ohhhh.

“On Halloween,” Brady went on.

I gasped probably a little too dramatically. “That’s what they wore?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know who the girl is?” I asked, even though clearly he had no idea.

Brady shook his head. “Hunter never mentioned even dating anyone. So I’m really shocked right now.”

“So he got married and didn’t warn anyone? He eloped?” I clarified.

“It seems. I wonder what my mom thinks about this,” he said.

I imagined the face Brady’s mom made when she found out Hunter eloped and the fact that they’d dressed as zombies. I couldn’t help bursting into laughter. She probably shit an entire brick. Brady got out of bed and said he was going to the kitchen to call his mom.

He was on the phone for literally one hour. When Brady came back in his room he said, “Well my parents know. So it must be official?”

“Oh my gosh, were they soo pissed?” I asked, eating all this drama up.

“My mom seems to be taking it well. She is just upset that she hasn’t met the new…wife.”

I nodded. “Mmhm.”

“But my dad is having a party in Boston next weekend and they are both going. Everyone will get to meet her then.”

And then Brady said that his mom wants me and him to go. Me! So maybe she doesn’t hate me? Anyways, I obviously said I would love to go and am already using that as an excuse to buy a new outfit. I can’t wait to see how this is going to play out!

hot mess in high heels.

Monthly Archives: November 2014