cheers to another year.

My birthday was on Sunday and I celebrated all weekend. Obviously. On Friday, Preston met me at the office and we (Preston, Luke and me) went out for drinks. We started off with birthday cake shots and then just sat there talking and drinking. I still didn’t have any plans for my actual birthday, but we reserved a table at a nightclub for
Saturday night. We never go out to clubs anymore, but I figured since it was my birthday, I may as well do it.

On Saturday, Brady and I spent the majority of the day rearranging his house and making it more suitable for me. I wanted to spice the place up and make room for some of my items. I ordered a ton of stuff from work to decorate like a pompom trimmed throw blanket, a faceted full length mirror, monogrammed pillows with our initials and a fucking whale bookend. I love it all. I decided to take over the spare room so we can at least have a little privacy from each other if we ever need it.

That night I invited everyone over to pregame. I wore Alice + Olivia leather leggings and an off white lacy crop top with my Louboutin booties and dramatic red lips. Kendra brought over white chocolate and strawberry cupcakes and by the time she got there, I was drunk and cried because I thought the gesture was so nice. I mean, it was really nice of her especially since she’s so swamped with wedding stuff. Love her. Everyone sang Happy Birthday to me then we scarfed down cupcakes before making our way to the club.

So the night started off really nicely. Bottle service, tons of photos and dancing on the table and dancing with bae. How a birthday should be. I was mostly hanging all over Luke and we were talking to the guys at the table next to us who were so drunk they didn’t even know their names.

Suddenly one of their friends (who was wearing a fucking soccer jersey to the club, ew) came running over to their booth, barreling into me and knocking my vodka cranberry out of my hand and onto my legs and shoes. I screamed.

Luke yelled, “Dude, what the fuck is your problem?” but the guy was already on the other side of the booth.

I ran to the bathroom to clean myself up a bit then ran back out there because I didn’t want to miss any of the party. I came back and found Brady sitting down and I hopped in his lap and kissed his cheek.

“Baaaabe, are you even having fun?” I asked.

“Mmhm,” he replied.

There was a huge lipstick print on his cheek and I was so obsessed and told him to never wipe it off. Then I took a picture of it and uploaded it to Instagram.

Later on, Preston’s friend, Lexi, and I made a bathroom run. On the way back, I passed the table with all the drunk guys and saw the guy who had run into me and spilled my drink earlier. I was suddenly really annoyed again and flipped him the bird. He leaned forward and shook his head in my face, trying to taunt me. It was way too close for comfort so I shoved him. He was so drunk that he went down immediately, but not before grabbing onto my top to try to save himself.

This infuriated me so a scuffle ensued. I leaned over him and started screaming at him for assaulting me and ruining my outfit. All his friends started crowding around which I feel like only pissed me off more. The next thing I remember is being picked up and taken away from the scene. I feel like that happens to me way more than normal. Luke picked me up and brought me back to our table and everyone was asking if I was okay and telling me to calm down.

I told them that it wasn’t even my fault then I cried for one minute.

“Where’s Brady?” I asked after realizing that he was nowhere to be found.

Kendra informed me that he and John had gone to the bar and would be back soon. My first instinct was to go find them because I didn’t want my boyfriend hanging out with cheater John. Is that mean? I don’t care. So I walked to the bar and found Brady and John standing there waiting for drinks. I started crying immediately upon seeing my boyfriend.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. I threw my arms around him and he hugged me back.

“I just got in a fight,” I sobbed.

“With who?” he wanted to know.

“This ugly guy! He ruined my shirt, look!” I realized that my shirt was fine which for some reason made me cry harder.

“What guy? Where is he?” Brady asked.

“Security escorted him out,” I sniffled.

I wasn’t even talking to John and he said to me, “Why does this kind of stuff always happen to you?”

As if it was my fault! I glared at him and Brady asked if I was okay. I nodded and we went back to our booth. After my fight with that guy, I was no longer in the mood to party so I stood there with my arms crossed until Brady asked if I was ready to go. I said yes.

When we got home I immediately started asking Brady what he got me for my birthday. He told me to go to sleep and I’d see in the morning. I argued that it was the morning. Then he got in bed and stopped responding to me. So mean.

I slept in on Sunday morning and Brady woke me up. I was feeling a little sick and cranky, but Brady told me he had a surprise for me so I got up. He led me to the dining room where he had a breakfast feast set up complete with waffles, bacon, eggs, fruit and juice. And then sitting on a placemat where a plate should be was a small gray Chloé bag with gold hardware. The whole setup was so freaking cute and perfect for Instagram. But I was so excited that I forgot to even take a picture. I don’t know who he’s been talking to, but the bag is perfect and so me. How does he know me so well? I love it.

On Sunday evening, Brady and I got dressed up to go out for a nice dinner. It was like my birthday dinner plus our anniversary dinner which we never celebrated (I don’t even know when our actual anniversary is). I wore a Haute Hippie dress and my hair down with a middle part. We went to a super romantic Italian place and had a lot of wine and a four course meal. It was pretty good even though I’m not a huge fan of real Italian food (just every kind of pizza that ever existed, obv).

After dinner, I was feeling all happy from the wine and I wanted to keep celebrating. We walked a few blocks to a bar to have drinks. We were way overdressed, but it was fine. We talked a lot about Kendra and John’s wedding. I was complaining about not really liking John (his comment on Saturday night rubbed me the wrong way) and Brady said, “If she loves him and he makes her happy, do your personal feelings really matter?”

He was right so I stopped complaining and started talking to him about couples counseling because obviously this was the perfect time and place.

I said, “Since we’ve been arguing so much lately, my friends and I got a great idea: me and you should do couples therapy! If we are going to get married we have to do it!”

Brady’s eyebrows furrowed. “We haven’t been arguing that much.”

“Uhh, are you kidding? We’ve done nothing but fight for the last month. I didn’t even think we would last until my birthday!” I said.

“I think you’re completely exaggerating,” he said.

My jaw dropped. I think Brady saw that I was getting upset so he quickly added, “But if you think it’ll be beneficial, we can go. I don’t mind.”

Yay!

When we got home after the bar, I sat on the counter and polished off Kendra’s cupcakes. Brady got a text while we were out and found out that his brother and his wife had their baby. On my birthday! Is it bratty that I wished the baby would’ve waited an extra day to hatch? I don’t want it stealing my thunder! Brady decided that he’s going to go to California to visit them in two weeks and he didn’t invite me. Not that I want to go or anything, but still. I feel left out.

I took Monday off so I could recover and spent most of the morning in bed. Brady came home on his lunch break and I was sitting on the couch paying some credit card bills on my laptop. Brady came and sat next to me and I excitedly informed him of the responsible adultly task I was doing. I showed him my computer and Brady’s eyes got big.

“Wow, is that how much you owe?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I shrugged. “This card doesn’t have a limit. At least not that I’ve ever reached.”

“What do you use it for?” he wanted to know.

“Just shopping.”

Brady proceeded to lecture me about credit cards versus charge cards and told me that I shouldn’t be buying things if I can’t pay them off at the end of the month. I rolled my eyes and told him to stop lecturing me. He said that he wasn’t trying to lecture me, but the way I spend money is “childish.”

“Did you come all the way home from work to fight with me?” I asked.

Brady didn’t answer me and got up to go to the kitchen.

I started researching couples counseling right then and there. That was exactly why we need it. I wrote down some numbers and called around after Brady went back to work. I ended up talking to a lady for an hour and we really connected and she said she can see us on Saturday morning! I texted Brady letting him know the news and all he said was, “Ok.” I guess he’s not too enthused about it.

That’s about it. I had a drama filled birthday weekend, but that’s expected. Plus it wasn’t even as bad as usual. Cheers to another year! Bye!

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it’s like she reads my blog.

I was sick and stayed home from work on Friday. On Thursday night, Brady and I had pizza and margaritas then went to bed fairly early, but when I woke up on Friday morning I had to run to the bathroom to puke. Brady was already at work, but I immediately texted him saying, “Why am I sick?! Are you sick too?”

He replied, “No I’m not. What are your symptoms?”

I told him about puking and my tummy ache and he said, “Drink some ginger ale and you should be fine.”

That wasn’t exactly the sympathy I was looking for but I just put my phone down and went back to sleep. I woke up again just before noon and texted Brady again. “I took a sick day. I can’t get out of bed.”

“Are you actually sick or are you hungover?” Brady asked.

What a rude thing to ask! So I didn’t reply and slept until 3:00. When I woke up Luke had texted me, “Sick my ass!” I laughed and texted him back saying we should get something to eat. Obviously not pizza. We decided on Mexican. And I was still feeling a little bit gross so the thought of drinking a margarita made me queasy.

That night I made Brady watch Teen Mom 2 with me. He thought it was weird that I was watching a television show about teenage mothers and I had to explain to him the progression of the show. He said, “This is still a little weird.”

Brady’s parents were in town so he hung out with them all day Saturday. They had gotten reservations at a nice restaurant downtown for Saturday night so I was supposed to meet up with them at 7:00. I hung out with Preston and some of his friends on someone’s rooftop for the majority of the day. Mostly we just gossiped and drank Bloodys and ate Cinnabon cinnamon rolls. At around 6:30 I looked at my phone and realized I needed to go get ready for dinner.

I rushed home and showered and washed my hair. I put on a black dress, my Rockstuds, the bracelet Brady got me for Valentines Day (I just found it after losing it for five months), and a pair of understated stud earrings. By the time I left to go to the restaurant it was 7:20 and Brady texted me, “Are you close?”

Shit. I told him I would be there soon then sped to the restaurant. Luckily it wasn’t too far from my place and I strolled in just after 7:30 PM. The maitre d led me to the table and Brady and his parents all stood up for my arrival. Such good manners!

Brady’s dad actually reached out for a hug so I hugged him then I think the mom felt obligated to hug me too so she walked around the table to hug me. It was weird.

As we were all sitting down, Brady’s dad said, “Reese, did you get caught up in all the traffic as well?”

“Yes, it was awful,” I lied. The restaurant was a straight shot from my apartment and I ran into no traffic at all.

I was sitting across from Brady, but next to his dad and Brady’s mom was across from the dad so the setup wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. There was wine already on the table and to my surprise, Brady poured me a glass. Guess I needed wine to deal with his mom.

They started talking about the menu then we ordered then Brady’s mom said, “So I hear that you’ll be joining Brady in New York City.”

Wait, was I? I still didn’t even know. I looked at Brady and he was taking a sip from his glass. So I said, “Oh. Yes.”

“I think it’ll be a great opportunity for him especially since Africa fell through,” his mom continued.

“And you’ll be closer to us,” Brady’s dad added.

Ew. I didn’t even think about that. I bet they’d want to visit us all the time and be really annoying.

“How do your parents feel about you and Brady staying together?” Brady’s mom asked me.

That caught me off guard and I think my reaction showed it. “Oh, they don’t mind.”

Really?” Brady’s mom looked at the dad like she was shocked. I’m not sure what answer she was expecting. She’s met my parents and saw how crazy they are.

I nodded and smiled.

“So if you’ll be living in New York full time, what do you plan to do for work? Do you have something lined up?” Brady’s mom asked.

“I’ll travel back to Chicago three days out of the week to work at the office. I’ve already discussed this with my boss and she approved,” I explained.

“That’s extensive traveling,” she said. “Is that something you’ll be paying for out of pocket or will your company cover it?”

“It’s out of pocket, but my dad has really great airline benefits,” I assured her.

“This sounds like it’s going to be quite expensive.”

I glanced at Brady and he was resting his mouth on his hands just staring at me.

Brady’s mom went on. “Is this a move you’re financially prepared for, Reese?”

“Yes,” I answered automatically.

“So you’ll be paying for your apartment here in Chicago, for your share of the expenses while living in New York City and the cost of traveling back to Chicago each week for work? At what point is following your significant other too much?” Brady’s mom looked around the table and kind of chuckled, but no one else laughed.

Awkward silence.

I glanced at Brady again and he was facing his mom and drinking his wine.

“I think if you two have it all figured out then it’ll be a great opportunity and experience. We are not too fond of you living together unmarried, but if you’re willing to take that risk then we won’t stop you,” Brady’s dad said.

I smiled at him.

“I think my main concern, Reese, is you becoming pregnant during your stay in New York. I hope you are taking proper precautions to prevent something like that from happening,” Brady’s mom said.

I just blinked at her. Wait, what? Pregnant? Why was she afraid I would get pregnant of all things?

“Oh, that isn’t a problem…” I said slowly.

“I certainly hope not. You are not ready for that. Not without a more stable career and steady home. And of course, marriage if that’s something that is meant to happen between you two.” Brady’s mom actually smiled at me then patted Brady’s hand on the table. “Right, son?”

Brady didn’t even glance at me as he said, “Right.”

Stable fucking career? My career is plenty stable! Why would she even say that and why would Brady agree with her?

Brady’s dad started talking about how proud he was and blah blah blah. Our food came (steak on salt blocks) and the parents told us all the places we needed to visit in New York.

“Go here for an inexpensive dinner if you don’t want to cook.”

“This church has services six times a day on Sundays so surely you’ll be able to find one service that fits into your schedule.”

“You can save a lot of money by shopping here over this other place.”

I couldn’t even look at Brady so I just smiled and nodded like I cared. Once the check came and the dad pulled his wallet out, I turned to Brady and glared at him. He had the nerve to smile at me and I rolled my eyes.

We all walked outside together and Brady’s dad hugged me and said it was nice to see me again. Brady’s mom grabbed my elbow just inside the entrance and pulled me aside.

“I want you to know that I am happy and excited that you are taking this journey with Brady. But I want you to handle and carry yourself like the Christian woman I know you are,” she said.

I was probably looking at her like she was crazy, but I still nodded and said, “Okay.”

“I want you to promise not to take advantage of my son and his opportunity. You must contribute to this move and all the expenses it entails. The two of you are not married so he is not obligated to take care of you or provide for you. This is your financial responsibility just as much as it is his.”

It’s like she reads my blog! I nodded again. “Okay.”

Finally, Brady’s mom pulled me into a hug with her skinny little arms. In my heels, I was a good six inches taller than her so it felt weird.

“It’s good to see you as always. I hope to see you again soon,” Brady’s mom said as we pulled away and she actually sounded genuine.

Since Brady and I arrived at the restaurant separately we left separately, but I immediately started toward his place. Oh, did I have some words for him! He beat me there and I stormed in. I found him in his room, changing his shirt.

“What the actual fuck?” I blurted out.

“Hmm?” he replied, looking at me like I was a fucking maniac.

“That was the most awkward dinner of my life. Why didn’t you say anything?” I yelled.

“What was I supposed to say?” Brady asked defensively.

“Maybe defend me or something! She made me sound like a gold digging slut! Are you like afraid to stand up to your mom?”

“No! She didn’t make you sound like that!”

“Did you tell her about my pregnancy scare?” I demanded.

“No.”

“Yes you did! You’re such a liar! That’s why she’s all concerned about me getting pregnant.”

Brady sighed and turned away from me and I followed him.

“You were all agreeing with her about everything. How do you think that made me feel? You could have at least had my back or said something.”

Brady didn’t say anything and it pissed me off so I blurted out, “This isn’t working out. I no longer want to be in a relationship with you and I will not be joining you in New York.”

I spun around and started to march out of there and I made it to the end of the hallway before Brady finally chased me.

“Don’t leave,” he said. “I’m sorry. It isn’t worth it to get in a fight with my mom. I just agree with her so it doesn’t turn into an argument.”

I looked at him expectantly.

“I’m sorry. I love you. I want to be with you no matter what my mom says.”

I said, “I don’t want to go to New York.”

“Okay,” Brady said.

“But go if you want to. I’ll be here waiting when you get back.”

“I don’t want to go either.”

“Okay.”

Brady cautiously kissed me and I grabbed his neck and made him kiss me for real. I just love bae.

On Sunday morning, we woke up and laid in bed talking. I told Brady about subleasing my apartment and he said, “Just move in here.”

As if I had any other options!

I said, “Okay if you insist!”

“You can be my little housewife,” he said, snuggling my neck. Little does he know that he’s actually going to be my little house husband. I can’t wait.

We got up and went to brunch then I dragged Brady shopping. We only made it to Topshop because I spent so much time trying on clothes. I haven’t been in Topshop in so long so it was completely necessary. Brady only complained a couple times.

So yeah. Officially not moving to New York! I’m a little bummed about it, but I’m also relieved. I think it was actually becoming pretty dreadful and tearing us apart so it’s probably a good thing we decided against it. Maybe one day.

My birthday is next Sunday and as of right now, I don’t have any plans. Brady hasn’t even mentioned it so if anyone talks to him, make sure he’s planning an extravagant surprise! Have a good week!

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we used to have so much fun together.

On Monday, I worked until close to 11:00 PM. I feel like a slave these days. I mentioned to Brady that I would probably be working late and he said okay then didn’t bother talking to me at all throughout the day. On Tuesday I made plans of leaving work at a decent time then going over to Brady’s to talk about life. I left the office at around 6:00 PM, but made a pit stop at Bloomingdale’s to find some new booties. It’s never to soon to start shopping for fall! I couldn’t find anything I wanted so I walked down the street to Neiman Marcus. Much better selection. I ended taking home a pair of black Rag and Bone booties and then preordering a pair of Loubs that will be perfect for the holidays. So excited!

After I left I called Brady and he didn’t pick up. So I texted him, “Heyyyy, are you home yet? I’m coming over.”

He didn’t respond right away so I stopped by Sephora and got a new tinted moisturizer, setting powder, under eye concealer, red lipstick and a face wash. By the time I left Sephora, Brady had not texted or called me back, but I figured he was still busy at work. I sat in my car and played around on Facebook and Instagram because I had nothing better to do. Do you know the “following” tab on Instagram where you can see the pictures your followers liked and stuff? I don’t usually click on that, but because I was kind of bored, I did. The second thing that popped up was that Brady liked a picture 12 seconds before. It was of something really stupid like a guy surfing I think.

So he wasn’t busy at work. He was clearly on his phone and had to have seen my missed call and text. I was livid. Like, filled with rage. I wanted to delete and block his number and never speak to him again. I wanted to completely disappear from his life so he would see the consequences of ignoring me.

But instead, I sped over to Brady’s hoping he would be home so I could rip him a new one. How fucking dare he ignore me? And for close to two days straight at that. When I got there, Brady still wasn’t home so I let myself in. I made myself a sandwich then sat and ate it alone with a glass of wine. It was actually really pathetic.

When Brady finally texted me back, it was around 8:45. All he said was, “Hey.”

Hey. Hey. Are you kidding? I took a deep breath and said back, “Why are you ignoring me?”

He said, “I’m not.”

Ew. He was being so short and mean. I said, “Where have you been then? I called and texted you.”

“I’ve been busy at work.”

I was so irritated that I didn’t even say anything back. Then Brady said, “I’m on my way home now.”

I said, “K.”

Obviously I was waiting by the front door when he walked in. His hands were full with his laptop bag and what looked like takeout.

“Oh, hey,” Brady said, sounding surprised to see me.

“Hi,” I said pointedly. “I’ve literally been here for four hours waiting for you. Why are you ignoring me?”

“I’m not ignoring you.”

“Yes you are. I saw you liking pictures on Instagram before you even replied to me! You’re so fucking rude, Brady! What’s your problem?”

“Stop yelling at me,” he said. I was so surprised that I didn’t even know what to say. Where did he find a set of balls at? He never stands up to me!

Brady walked past me and I followed him. He brought home Chinese and even though I had just eaten I started going to town on the fried rice. I suddenly wasn’t as mad anymore.

“How was your day?” Brady asked, finally breaking the silence.

“It was fine. I got new boots! You have to see!” I said and excitedly pulled them out of the bag.

Brady barely looked at them before saying, “Did you really need another pair of shoes?”

I gasped, offended. “Obviously yes. We’re switching seasons so I need some new pieces.”

“You mean you don’t have boots from last winter? What’s the point of spending money on designer shoes if you’re only going to wear them for one season?” he wanted to know.

“Because…” I actually didn’t know how to answer that.

“Don’t you want to save your money for something significant? You spend it like it’s going to vanish,” he went on.

“Whoa, okay. I do not. I just like to have nice things. Why are you picking a fight with me? It’s not like I’m spending your money.”

“I know. I’m not trying to fight with you. I just think you shop a lot.”

I tucked my shoes back in the bag while pouting. We finished eating in silence then I dug around the takeout bag to find the fortune cookies. Best part of the meal. My fortune said something about money. Ha ha ha.

We retreated to the couch and I turned on a movie. Brady pulled out his laptop and I watched the movie and we didn’t talk until he asked if I was ready for bed. It made me really sad. I feel like all we do lately is bicker and fight and sometimes have sex. We used to have so much fun together. I definitely don’t want to go to New York if it’s going to make us hate each other.

On Wednesday I worked from home and quit early so I could meet Preston and Kendra for drinks. Preston and I arrived first and I filled him in on the latest drama.

“Reese, baby doll, I love you to death. You know this, right?” Preston began. I nodded. “But you’re a crazy bitch.”

“Heyyyyyy,” I whined.

“Did Brady ever even ask you to go to New York with him? You just started making plans to go before he even said he wanted to go.”

“I assumed when he told me that it was an invite and he wanted us to go together.”

“What you need to do is apologize for jumping the gun and making assumptions and ask him what he really wants to do. I feel like even if he did want to go to New York, you kind of ruined things already.”

I pouted.

“I’m not trying to be mean, boo. If I can’t be honest with you then who can?”

I knew Preston was right and decided to apologize for inviting myself and not allowing Brady to do what he wanted. After drinks I drove to Brady’s and when I got there he was in the shower. I poured a glass of wine and found myself sitting at the dining table in front of his computer. There were stacks of papers all over the table so I decided to casually look through them. I think I wanted to find a bank statement or a lease for an apartment in New York or something, but I didn’t. I did, however, find what appeared to be some sort of official offer letter for the position in New York. I didn’t read it and just focused on the bold writing down at the bottom which had the compensation. Brady was right about the relocation money not covering the rent of that Central Park apartment, but the salary for his six month contract would be much, much more than what (I think) he makes here. For only six months! So I’m not sure why he was complaining about money. Why would he even think about turning that down? Plus he has a shitload in savings that he wouldn’t even have to dip in to. I took a picture of the offer letter for my records then went and got in bed.

After Brady got out of the shower and got in bed with me, I hugged him and asked him to tell me about his day. After he told me, I asked, “Are you kind of sad you turned down going to New York?”

“I haven’t turned it down,” he replied.

“Oh. Why?” I wanted to know.

“I know you want to go and I don’t want to take that away from you,” he answered.

I shook my head furiously. “This isn’t about me at all. My job isn’t sending me to New York, yours is. I want to do whatever you want to do.”

“I don’t want you to be unhappy.”

“I’m unhappy because we’re fighting about this all the time. You just let me know if you want to stay here or go or if you want to go alone…”

“I don’t want to go alone,” Brady interjected.

“Well, you need to figure out what you want to do as soon as possible. You’re being more indecisive than me right now.” I rolled my eyes.

He laughed and pulled me on top of him so we could have sex. Afterward he dropped a bomb and told me that his parents are going to be here this weekend. I groaned and complained about them visiting too much. Brady agreed.

So yeah. I still don’t know if we are going or not, but I’m leaning toward no? I’m okay with not going although I don’t see how Brady could turn down that much money to live in New York for a few months. Oh well. Not my problem.

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we need all the help we can get.

Brady and I got in a huge fight over the weekend. I’m honestly not even sure why. On Friday after work we got dinner then went home and made drinks. The plan was to meet Brady’s friends at the bar and we ended up getting pretty tipsy before we even left the house.

We met up with some of Brady’s friends and their girlfriends and I took it upon myself to make sure all the girlfriends were getting along and having fun. I was like the girlfriend den mother. We all hung out at the first bar for a while then walked to the next bar so we could dance and stuff. We continued drinking and having fun until last call. The details start getting blurry, but I recall standing at the bar with Brady while he signed for his tab. He was saying something like, “Reese, I don’t want to get into this right now!”

I started whining then one of the girlfriends (I think her name was Alaina?) came and put her arms around my waist, pulling me into a hug.

“Brady, are you being nice?” she asked in a teacher voice.

“Is she being nice?” he snapped back.

“Don’t be rude to her!” I said a lot louder than necessary.

Brady rolled his eyes and walked off. I started saying bye to all the girlfriends and giving them hugs before meeting Brady outside so we could go home. We got in a cab and I immediately started in on him.

“I can’t believe how mean you were to Alaina. I’m honestly embarrassed,” I said.

Brady threw his hands up like he was fed up.

“They will probably never hang out with us again,” I continued, crossing my arms. Brady was staring out the window, not saying anything back so I felt like I needed to keep going. “We could have all had fun without you. You shouldn’t have come out if you were going to be like this.”

“I would have been fine if you hadn’t started this shit,” he said.

“I didn’t start anything!” I exclaimed.

“Of course you didn’t. Nothing is ever your fault!”

I was starting to yell something else, but stopped when I realized what he said. “What’s that supposed to mean? I can admit when I’m wrong but this time I’m definitely not. Why can’t you just stop being a douche and apologize?”

“Apologize because you’re being ridiculous?” Brady scoffed and laughed which pissed me off more.

“Don’t say I’m being ridiculous. You’re being ridiculous!”

“Yeah, okay Reese.”

I started blabbering on about how disrespectful and mean he was being and Brady let me go uninterrupted for a bit before saying, “Oh my God, would you shut up?”

I gasped. We stopped in front of Brady’s house and I hopped out and slammed the door while he paid for the cab. I realized that I didn’t have keys to get in so I had to wait at the gate for Brady to let us in. I glared at him while he slowly unlocked the gate.

“Can you hurry? Some of us don’t want to be outside all fucking night,” I said.

Brady ignored my comment and unlocked the gate, walking inside before me. When we got inside I said, “Take me home.”

“I’m not taking you home right now,” he said.

“Yes you are. I’m not staying here with you tonight. Oh and I’m certainly not going to New York with you!” I said loudly. He was walking toward the kitchen and I needed him to actually hear me.

“Good! I don’t want you to go with me anyway!” Brady shouted.

I followed him into the kitchen. “Really? You don’t want me to go?”

“No! Hell no! Not if you’re going to be like this! You can stay in Chicago and we will probably both be much happier!” he yelled.

“Fine! You’re a fucking asshole!” I screamed. I stormed off down the hall and added, “I hope you’re happy! I never want to see you again!”

I don’t even know what I was talking about. I got undressed and got in bed in my usual spot, farthest from the door so I wouldn’t have to see Brady when he came in the room. Then I cried until I fell asleep. I vaguely recall hearing Brady getting in bed, but neither of us said anything to each other.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I didn’t move. I didn’t want to be the first one to wake up and have to acknowledge what happened the night before. So I just stared at the window pretending to be asleep for a really long time. I had assumed Brady was still sleeping next to me, but then I heard the front door open followed by a lot of movement in the kitchen. When I heard the bedroom door open I quickly shut my eyes, pretending to be sleeping.

I felt Brady on the bed and then he gently nudged me a few times. I pretended to stir a bit until he said, “Hey. I brought breakfast.”

That’s when I got up. I thought about ignoring him, but I was starving and not about to turn down breakfast. Plus, maybe this was a truce.

“Oh. Thanks,” I said, sitting up. Brady had a plate with French toast and syrup and berries on it. I took it from him. I began cutting my French toast into little pieces and felt Brady watching me.

Finally, he said, “I’m really sorry about last night.”

“Oh. Okay,” I said back.

“I didn’t mean any of what I said.”

“Then why did you say it?”

“Because I was upset and drunk.”

“Why were you upset? You had no reason to be upset.”

“I honestly can’t even remember.”

“I can’t either,” I giggled. “I’m sorry too.”

Seriously, how stupid. I honestly think that was the stupidest fight we’ve ever been in. We didn’t even bring it up again and just went on with our lives. I had to spend Saturday afternoon trying on dresses with Kendra. Afterward we got dinner with John and Brady. They had spent the day playing golf.

They talked us into going to church with them on Sunday because they said it has helped tremendously with their relationship and obviously Brady and I need all the help we can get. The service was nice and I made Kendra take a picture of me and Brady outside the church to send my mom so she knows how holy we are. My mom is actually kind of religious (we are from the south after all).

We got brunch with Kendra and John and then we headed back to Brady’s. Later that night we were sitting in the living room. I was watching Snapped and Brady was working out some details about New York. I heard him mumble something like, “This is going to be so expensive.”

“What is?” I asked.

“Going to New York,” he replied without looking up.

“Oh.”

“The relocation money they are giving me won’t even cover half. It won’t even cover half the apartment.”

“Did you find somewhere for us to live?” I asked.

“Yes,” Brady answered, sounding frustrated.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Since Brady was sounding all annoyed and frustrated, I said, “Well, we don’t have to go then.”

“I didn’t say that I don’t want to go. I just said it’s going to be expensive.”

“I don’t want to go if you’re going to have a bad attitude about it. I just thought it would be fun for us to get out of Chicago for a little while.”

“Reese, I’m not saying I don’t want to go! Why don’t you understand that? I do want to go, I just mentioned that it’s going to be expensive!”

“What’s the point of even saying that unless you want to make me feel bad? I know it’s going to be expensive! Fucking obviously!”

Brady finally looked at me. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad,” he said.

“Like I said, we don’t have to go. Especially if you’re going to be bitter and complain about money the whole time. No thank you,” I said.

“Fine.” Brady stood up. “I’ll decline the offer tomorrow.” I watched him walk toward the bedroom, leaving his computer open on the table.

I was really shocked and didn’t know how serious he was. As soon as I heard the shower turn on, I slid over on the couch so I could look at his computer and investigate why he thought it was going to be so expensive. Brady’s email was pulled up and I found a thread with the subject: “NYC living.” I opened it and the sender said, “I have this one available next month. Take a look at it and let me know what you think.”

I clicked be link and found a listing for a beautiful NYC apartment. Huge (1,050 square feet!), a beautiful updated kitchen with marble counter tops, crown moldings, windows everywhere, a chic claw foot tub and overlooking fucking Central Park. $7,500 a month. Which is kind of a steal if you think about it, but I guess I can understand why Brady would say it’s expensive. What he pays for his condo here in Chicago is much, much cheaper, but it’s New York City, you know?

I exited out of the NYC email and had intentions of going to bed and crying, but another email caught my eye. It was from Anna, his ex girlfriend with the really long last name. I clicked on it and quickly read what she wrote.

“Also, my friend is having a burlesque show on Sept. 10. We would love to have you there. Looking forward to you being in my city :-)”

I forgot that she lives in New York. So for everyone who wants to make me feel bad about talking to my ex, Brady is talking to his and even talking about hanging out with her. I don’t even care. I’m not threatened at all by her.

We didn’t talk about it again at all so I guess he’s really going to decline the offer and I guess we really aren’t going. Which sucks because I already found a guy to sublease my apartment for six months. I’m really annoyed.

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call me reese bradshaw.

I wouldn’t stop bugging Brady about moving to New York. I emailed him probably ten or fifteen different places that are all available now. He entertained me for the first few then he responded with, “Reese.” I don’t know why he even told me if he wasn’t serious about it. He knows how obsessed I get about stuff (hello, where’s my puppy?).

On Monday I stayed at work super late and I was so busy that I didn’t even eat all day. I got home and immediately got in bed then went right back to the office at 8 AM. Needless to say I was exhausted and cranky by the time I left at around 6:30 PM. I called Brady and told him I wanted something greasy and disgusting for dinner so we went to Shake Shack! I got a burger, cheese fries and a strawberry shake. I felt like shit after I ate it all though and decided to just stick to my diet.

Kendra wanted to go to happy hour on Wednesday so I left work early to meet with her.

The first thing she said after I sat down was, “If you ever get married, just elope. I’m so stressed out.”

I gasped. “I’m not going to elope. We are going to have a huge wedding ceremony and reception with at least three hundred guests. But I’m going to hire a wedding planning team and I’ve already started so I won’t be rushing around.”

Kendra laughed. “Yeah right, Reese.”

I started telling her about New York and how unenthusiastic Brady is acting now.

“I think it’s a good compromise. Aren’t you guys always fighting about him wanting to go to the east coast and you wanting to go back down south? He should be happy you are willing to go with him,” she said.

“I know!” I exclaimed. “That’s what I think too!”

Kendra grabbed my hand to shush me because apparently I was being loud. “Maybe just talk to him about it, but in a non confrontational way.”

So I decided that’s what I would do. After happy hour, I met Brady at his house. He was in the kitchen making a sandwich (hubby material!) and I asked for half.

“I’ll just make you one,” he suggested.

“No, I’m not that hungry,” I said.

“Okay, I’ll make you one, but I’ll only use one piece of bread.”

I scrunched up my nose. “Ew, no. I want yours. People always make sandwiches for themselves better than they do for other people.” I held out my hand so he could give me the food.

Brady sighed and I could tell he was annoyed so I said, “How are we ever going to get married if you won’t even share your sandwich with me? You’re being selfish.”

“I just haven’t eaten all day and I’m offering to make a sandwich for you so you don’t have to eat mine,” he explained, trying not to sound frustrated.

“Fine,” I said, crossing my arms. But then Brady cut off half the sandwich and gave it to me and I ate it. It was delicious. Then he made another sandwich and we split it too.

As we ate our second sandwich, I asked him why he was suddenly hesitant about going to New York.

“I never said I was going or wanted to go. I was just asked to go and I haven’t given a definite answer,” Brady explained.

“Well you should go. And I’ll go with you,” I said.

“I don’t know…” he started, but I interrupted him.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t see myself staying there long term. New York is dirty and it’s really expensive. I don’t want to go there and have to pay rent while also paying for my place here. It just seems like more hassle than it’s worth.”

“I think you should live a little. This is a great opportunity for you. You’ve already turned down going to Africa so if you turn this down they might not ask you to do anything again.”

Brady looked at me like I was his mother and I was lecturing him. So I gave him my sweetest smile.

“They want me to go next month,” he said.

“Perfect!” I squealed, already mentally picking out my outfits for NYFW.

Brady leaned against the counter with his head down like he was so stressed out.

“You should probably decide soon,” I told him then I grabbed a granola bar and headed for the bedroom.

I expected Brady to join me right away, but he didn’t so I played around on my phone. A few things that probably make me a terrible girlfriend: 1. I redownloaded Snapchat. I haven’t sent anything bad lately (except me in a pair of One Teaspoon shorts with the caption, “90 degree weather attire.” But that isn’t bad right?) and 2. I’m still communicating with my ex. Don’t worry though, we’re just being cordial and nice to each other. I tell him about Brady all the time. I’m honestly shocked he’s still talking to me after I avoided him when he visited Chicago last month.

When Brady finally joined me I threw my phone down and grabbed his neck to kiss me. We had sex and it was amazing (thank you to Brady’s 40 previous partners for making him so good) and then Brady spooned me.

“If you really want to go to New York, we can go,” he mumbled. I asked him to repeat himself. He did.

I squealed and tried to jump up, but Brady held onto me tight. He wouldn’t let me go so we fell asleep.

When I woke up on Thursday, Brady was in the shower. I sat up and waited for him to get out. He finally emerged with a towel around his waist.

“Morning. You’re up early,” he greeted me.

“I’m just so excited,” I said.

“Me too.”

I watched Brady start getting dressed then I asked him if he liked any of the places I emailed him. He said he did, but to let him figure out the living situation.

“But don’t you have enough to worry about? It’s the least I could do,” I said.

He assured me that he had it under control, that his family has connections in New York and he would be able to get us what we needed. I started listing off my must haves and Brady stopped me and said he knows what my must haves are. I hope he knows I won’t live anywhere that doesn’t have a doorman, laundry in unit, an updated kitchen and bathroom, a view or isn’t in Manhattan though.

I talked to my mom about it last night. She was excited at first and then started asking questions about my job and my current apartment and stuff.

“You can’t just up and leave, can you?” she asked.

“Of course not. I’ll sublease my apartment obviously,” I told her. “And I’ll come back to Chicago Monday through Wednesday to work at the office. I already talked to Diana about it.”

“Really? So you’re actually going to move to New York?” my mom said, sounding surprised.

“It’s supposed to be temporary but I’m going to make Brady fall in love with it so we can live there permanently. It’s going to be like Sex and the City!”

My mom laughed, but I was serious. Call me Reese Bradshaw!

So anyway, we are moving to New York (I think)!

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best pregnant sex ever.

I don’t even know where to begin.

So a couple of weeks ago Diana called me to ask me if I was willing to take on another challenge. Obviously I said sure because my workload is pretty light considering I have a whole team who just does whatever I say. Later on, she called me into her office to tell me how she wanted to do an in house marketing campaign even though we work with an outside marketing agency here in the city. She gave me a marketing team (including Whitney) and I got started immediately. That plus doing my regular stuff was a lot. I was swamped.

The day after Diana asked me to start my new project, I was sick for two days. I couldn’t keep anything down and didn’t really have an appetite anyway so I was miserable. I was being really cranky and dramatic about it. I told Kendra what was going on and the first thing she asked was if I was pregnant. It never occurred to me that I could be because I was vomiting all times of the day and not just in the morning, but Kendra informed me that morning sickness could be any time of day.

Naturally I started freaking out and told Brady that I thought I was pregnant. We had actually never really discussed what would happen if I ever got pregnant before we were ready. I called him like six times while he was at work before he finally picked up.

“Hey, is everything okay?” he answered and I could tell he probably snuck off to the bathroom or something because he was speaking quietly.

“Uh, no. I think I’m pregnant,” I said.

Brady sighed and didn’t say anything for a while. Just when I was about to ask if he heard me he said, “Reese, can we talk about this later?”

Fucking rude. I was annoyed with him and after we hung up I texted him, “I guess I’ll just raise this baby on my own,” and he didn’t text me back. So I wanted to murder him.

I stayed at work until eight then I sped home (Brady’s house). Brady hadn’t even texted me or anything since I called him earlier. I let myself in and found him in the dining room working.

“Um, hi?” I greeted him.

“Hey. How are you?” he asked, giving me a weird look.

I started bawling. Brady sighed and asked what was wrong.

“I’m going through a pregnancy scare and you don’t give a shit!” I sobbed.

“Do you really think you’re pregnant?” he asked.

“Yes!” I screamed.

“Seriously?”

“Why would I lie about this?”

Brady didn’t say anything for a moment because he was probably thinking about the time I actually did lie and say I was pregnant.

“Why do you think you’re pregnant?” he asked.

I explained that I was no longer on birth control and the all day sickness.

“You aren’t on birth control anymore? Why didn’t you tell me that?” Brady wanted to know. He sounded irritated and I got defensive.

“Because I don’t have to tell you what I do with my body,” I snapped.

“You’re right – you don’t. But this kind of affects me so I think it’s common courtesy to keep me informed of something like that.”

I rolled my eyes. “What are we going to do?”

“First you need to figure out if you’re actually pregnant.”

“Okay, what if I am?”

“We will go from there.”

I didn’t really like his answers so I stormed off to his room. Brady joined me an hour later and we had the best pregnant sex ever.

I called my doctor the next morning and scheduled an appointment for my pregnancy test for a few days later. When my appointment finally came, my doctor talked my ear off for about twenty minutes before I interrupted him and asked if we could just get on with the test. He laughed and apologized then made me pee in the cup. After I peed, he took the cup and kind of swirled it around.

“Oh, it looks like a girl!” he sang and I think it was probably supposed to be a joke, but I wasn’t in the mood and it was super inappropriate.

I glared at him and he said he would be right back with my results. While I was sitting in the room alone, I started thinking up possible names for my daughter. By the time my doctor came back, I’d decided on Juliana. So cute!

But my doctor came back and informed me that my pregnancy test came back negative. No baby Juli for me! I was actually really relieved. My main concern was all the working out I’d have to do to lose my baby weight. And the thought of taking my baby to weddings and on trips and stuff. It seems like such a hassle.

I was super happy the rest of the day and since this happened on a Friday, I went out drinking that night. I didn’t invite Brady because I was pissed at him for not being more concerned about my pregnancy scare. The next morning he took me for bottomless mimosas so I got over it.

On Monday, I got a call from my doctor saying that he had some concerns about my blood tests and that I needed to come back in for additional testing. I was like, “Is it serious?”

And he said, “I hope not, but I need you to come back in at your earliest convenience so we can find out.”

That freaked me out. But I was so swamped at work that I couldn’t even find time to go see my doctor. I did however have time to get on Google and search up what could be wrong with me. I determined that I either had HIV or cancer. I was sad for a little while then I got so wrapped up with work that I forgot that I was potentially dying.

I was finally able to go see my doctor and he told me that I am extremely iron deficient and I am slightly anemic. Since blood work isn’t necessarily his area of expertise I asked if I should go to my regular general physician. He said no and prescribed iron supplements for me. When I went home I researched the condition and found out that it’s super common and easily treatable. So I was really annoyed with him for getting me all stressed about it.

Other than my pregnancy scare, Brady and I are doing really good. One day last week, he texted me while he was at work and said, “You’re going to love this. Guess what?”

And I said, “What?” then stared at my phone until he responded.

“I was offered an opportunity in New York.”

Brady knows my dream of living in New York City. I fired off a bunch of questions (Was he looking for jobs in NYC? What was the opportunity? How soon could we move? What’s our rental budget?) and while I waited for Brady to answer I started searching for apartments in midtown Manhattan.

“Whoa. I haven’t committed to anything. We can talk about it later,” he said.

I spent my entire lunch break bookmarking potential apartments. Later on we went to dinner and Brady told me all about New York. He said it’s a temporary contract position and he would be in more of a leadership/teaching role. It would be working directly with a university and the pharmacy students. I told him he should go for it! Even if it’s only for like six months or so, obviously he could find a job after that. Brady said he needs to think about it and that he doesn’t want to drag me with him. As if I need to be dragged. I’ve already talked to Diana about working remotely from New York.

Over the weekend we were in Houston for my friend Natalie’s wedding. We stayed with my parents and stayed up late Friday night talking to them and drinking wine. My mom woke up early Saturday morning and got Chick-Fil-A for everyone. She’s a saint. Especially because she didn’t know what we wanted so she got pretty much one of everything on the menu. I’m so happy I still fit into my dress.

The ceremony was cute. At the reception my friend Brittany ran over to us and gave both of us hugs. She was a bridesmaid so she was wearing one of the turquoise lacy gowns and it didn’t look very good with her dark hair and red lipstick. Or maybe I’m just being a hater bitch because Natalie didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid.

“So how have you guys been?” Brittany gushed, looking at Brady and not me.

He shrugged and looked at me and he seemed kind of uncomfortable. I made sure to be all over him so she would get the hint. Eventually Brady said he was going to the restroom and as soon as he walked away, Brittany hugged me again.

“Y’all are just so cute! I can’t wait to be in your wedding next!” she squealed and I just couldn’t hate her after that.

I think that’s pretty much it. Oh, Carly is loving Philly and she and Chris have already planned their first trip back for Labor Day! Also, Brady’s brother, Hunter, and his wife are expecting their baby this month and Brady is really excited about it. It’s actually kind of cute. I’m going to be an aunt-in-law!

I feel like such a terrible blogger because the time I used to spend writing, I now use for actually working. I hate it. Is this being a grown up? I hope I can figure out how to consistently post though. Miss you guys so much!

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forgive me.

Y’all,

I am so sorry for the lack of posts and being kind of missing in action. I’ve been crazy, crazy busy at work with no time to even sit down and think. I’m exhausted. I even worked through the weekend which I haven’t done that in forever. Y’all know I need my weekends! In addition to that, I’ve been having some health concerns that hopefully I’ll get figured out this week. I’m heading to Houston this coming weekend for a friend’s wedding and I really hope to post a full blog before then. but I can’t make any promises. Please be patient with me. I miss you guys!

❤ Reese

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