he thought i was an escort.

It was a hoop earrings kind of weekend. Christian came to Chicago because a DJ friend had a couple of gigs here and their entire posse came. And I say posse because that’s literally what they were. They were like 12 deep and had several suites at the Palmer House. As soon as they landed on Friday, Christian texted me saying they were meeting at an event at a restaurant in Gold Coast and he wanted me to me up with them. I was still at work at this point (talking to Scott ironically) and I jumped up when I got the text so I could rush home and get ready.

“Fun plans tonight?” he asked.

“Yeah, a friend is in town,” I told him.

“Okay well… text me if you’re around. We could meet up or something,” Scott said.

“Yeah…” I said and scampered off. I have more confessions about Scott and me. I’ll fill y’all in later.

So I went home and changed into a plunging bodysuit, high waist jeans, lace up heels and of course, my hoop earrings. Christian ordered a car for me and I met all of them at the restaurant.

“Hey, beautiful,” Christian said and greeted me with a hug and kiss on the cheek. He introduced me to his friends who all looked like rappers or musicians or something.

The entire crowd was industry people which hasn’t been my scene at all in the last few years. I was hanging out with Brady’s friends where being hilarious and having cute clothes didn’t matter.

“So how have you been? Since I don’t ever hear from you..” Christian asked.

“Just super busy. With like work and stuff,” I told him.

We caught up for a while until one of his friends called him and requested we get out of our own little world and join their conversation. The friends asked me a lot of questions, but again they weren’t asking what I do for a living or anything like that because that doesn’t define you as a person. (It kind of does, but still). I liked that.

After we had several drinks, some of the crew needed to go set up, but Christian suggested we go spend some time alone. So I called an Uber and took him to a cute little bougie lounge that does live music.

I started to get a little bored with Christian (I noticed because I kept checking my phone to see if Scott or even Zach had texted me) and it concerned me because Christian and I connected so well when we first met. See how easily I get bored with people?

Eventually we decided to head to the club. Since his friend was performing we were able to go through the back entrance. The guy at the door looked at me and said, “Hey, how have you been?” as if he knows me.

I figured I must have known him from somewhere so I was nice and we chatted for a couple minutes. Christian and I went inside and had shots and drinks and danced. We went back to the bar to order more drinks and the door guy made a beeline for us. He shook Christian’s hand and leaned in to tell him something. He kept glancing at me and of course I decided to eat up the attention and flip my hair a little bit and smile at him.

Christian turned around and gave me a weird look so I stopped. The door guy walked away and Christian was distant the rest of the night. He grabbed his drink and headed toward VIP where the rest of his friends were without saying anything. He didn’t want to really dance or talk anymore, but seemed to be having a blast with his friends. I shrugged and started talking to his friend, Laz. And I guess I was kind of happy to have someone new to talk to since Christian was boring and apparently bored with me too.

At 3:00 AM, the night was winding down and Laz asked if I wanted to go back to his suite to continue the party. Before I could even think if I wanted to go, Christian tapped Laz on the shoulder and shook his head and gave him a look. He caught me catching him and looked away.

Outside, I decided to confront him.

“Why are you ignoring me?” I whined.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Christian said back, not making eye contact with me.

“You’re actually so annoying. Just be an adult and tell me what you’re mad about so we can get over it and go get food,” I said.

He looked at me. “It’s not that I’m mad at you, Reese. You’re just not who I thought you were.”

I rolled my eyes. “What are you even talking about?”

“You! The way you make your living. I understand you gotta do what you gotta do, but I don’t want to be involved in it.”

“Wait, what?”

Christian looked embarrassed. “The bouncer asked if I had you for the whole night because he had another interested client. A ‘high roller.’ He’s thinking I paid for you.”

I stared at him for a moment. “So he thinks I’m an escort?”

“Yeah. A well known one,” Christian mumbled.

“That’s absurd!” I exclaimed. “What kind of person do you think I am?”

And then I realized that Christian has no idea what kind of person I am. All he’s knows is that I’m friends with Brittany and who knows what she is up to in Houston. I started crying. Laz asked if I was okay, but Christian just stood there with his hands in his pockets.

“I don’t care. I literally can’t believe you,” I said as I suddenly stopped crying. I walked to the curb and raised my arm to hail a cab.

Christian followed me. “Look, I don’t know what to think.”

“It’s honestly fine. I’m over it and I’m over you,” I said.

The cab stopped and I got in, hoping to leave the whole night and Christian behind me. But he followed me in.

“Where to?” the driver asked.

I looked at Christian expectantly.

“To your place?” he said.

“Fine,” I said and told the driver my address.

We hooked up. I can only remember snippets, but I know it wasn’t great. And I woke up really sore. Christian went back to his hotel right after we finished and didn’t reach out to me the rest of the weekend. And that made me feel like a prostitute. So I sent him a scathing message about how I’d been used and he needed to pay up for my services. He didn’t reply.

Anyway, the whole time Brady was out of the country he sent me pictures of all of his endeavors and crazy things he ate. It confused me because at the time, we didn’t actually text very much and definitely didn’t send each other pictures. But we grew kind of close while he was away and when he came to pick up Tucker when he got back, he stayed and told me about his trip. For five hours.

And the next day, we got dinner together and that weekend, he invited me to go to the gym with him. And obviously he only invited me because he wanted to see me (we all know I don’t do the gym). Afterwards, we took our sweaty asses back to my place so I could make us waffles.

Brady and I were hanging out quite a bit, usually once or twice a week (a lot when we went months without talking at all), but then Preston sent me a screenshot from Tia’s Instagram. Obviously we blocked each other so I don’t have access to her ugly photos.

It was a picture of Tia and Brady with two guys I didn’t recognize. They were at a Cubs game decked out in all their Cubs gear. Brady had sunglasses and a Cubs windbreaker on – one I’ve never seen. So immediately I started thinking he must have gone shopping just for the occasion and that he and Tia planned on going to other games together. And I was sick to my stomach. Why is Brady so attracted to girls I hate? Like, I would probably physically fight Tia if I saw her in person again.

After that I felt inspired to check Brady’s tagged Instagram photos just to see what I would find. I was shocked to see a picture of him with a different Asian girl (and so much cuter than Tia) at a bar. The caption was the double pink heart emoji. Excuse me? I clicked on her page and found out that she’s a nurse at the same hospital Brady works at which surprised me because she has this dyed red hair that doesn’t seem very professional or hospital friendly.

So now I know I have no right to be mad, but I am. And so when Brady texts me I’ve been super short and cold and distant and he doesn’t even seem to notice. Probably because he’s so distracted with his other girls. I feel betrayed. We are supposed to hang out this weekend and he keeps texting me with plans and I should cancel and want to, but I also really want to hang out with him. Why Tia of all people? She’s so slimy and disgusting and I can’t stop thinking of her shaving her pubic hair into shapes. How tacky. And she’s a thief and that’s so unattractive in my opinion.

I miss y’all! Obviously I have a ton more to share, but I wanted to at least get something up right now. What’s new? Who misses me too? 

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i really want a grilled cheese.

After Brady let me have Tucker for a week, we started talking a little more regularly. He seemed to need to bitch about his mom because she was being a little more ridiculous than normal. Hunter and Dom are having issues – she’s done a complete lifestyle change (Brady couldn’t explain it when I asked him to elaborate) and Hunter is so against it that he reached out to their mother for advice. Imagine how desperate you’d have to be to need her help. And their mom took it upon herself to constantly lecture Brady about Hunter’s relationship mistakes. He says it’s awful.

“What did she say about me?” I asked, because I know the woman had a mouthful to say about my and my influence on Brady’s life.

Brady didn’t make eye contact. “Nothing. We didn’t talk about you.”

And we all know Brady is a bad liar, but I couldn’t even bring myself to care because their opinions don’t count to me anymore.

One Friday night though, we met up to get pizza and beer after work. After we finished our pie plus three pitchers of beer, Brady said some of his friends were at a bar nearby and invited me to tag along. And usually I was spending my weekends with Kendra and the baby, getting drunk on wine and then falling asleep on their couch so I agreed to go.

Brady introduced me to a couple of people then we grabbed a spot at the bar and ignored everyone else. It kind of felt like old times when Brady and I would spend all of our time at the bar getting drunk and loving on each other – like very early on in our relationship.

While we were talking I realized that I hadn’t seen my phone in a while and as a girl who is addicted to her phone, I freaked out and dug into my bag to get it. I literally gasped when I saw that I had a new message from Zach. It was hard, but I hadn’t spoken to him at all in about a month and he stopped texting me and calling me since I hadn’t been responding.

“Everything okay?” Brady asked with an amused look on his face.

I nodded and rolled my eyes. I hoped he couldn’t tell I was breaking out in a sweat.

I opened the message and saw that Zach had messaged me, “Hey, you out tonight?”

I felt this wild, frantic sensation like I needed to respond to him right away. I hadn’t heard from him in a month and I’d stopped thinking about him as much, but even with Brady standing right in front of me, I couldn’t move my fingers fast enough to respond to him.

“At a bar in Lincoln Park. Where are you?” I said back.

“I could meet up with you shortly if you want,” he said.

I smiled. The opportunity couldn’t have come quicker in the conversation.

“After you ditch Kelsey and the cat?” I said back.

Zach read the message and then tried responding a few times before I locked my phone and put it back in my purse.

Brady and I had a couple more drinks at the bar then told his friends we were leaving. We walked out and went across the street to another bar where we only stayed for one drink.

“So what do you want to do after this?” Brady asked.

I shrugged. “We should get food. I really want a grilled cheese.”

We finished our drinks and walked to Brady’s house while he ordered grilled cheese on UberEATS. Tucker was ecstatic to see me and even more excited that his parents were together. I kicked off my shoes and plopped on the couch and waited for my food to arrive. I noticed that Brady’s place looked immaculate – so much cleaner than when I lived there. He probably hated having me and all my stuff as a roommate.

I pulled out my phone again and saw that Zach had finally replied.

“I just left dinner. Are you still at the bar?” he said.

“I know you have no plans of leaving your wife anytime soon and I’m not interested in being your side piece. You ought to be ashamed of yourself for dragging me all across the country to your family’s properties where I’m sure you’ve spent a ton of time with Kelsey too. You’re a loser.”

I laughed at myself for calling him a loser.

“The food will be here in three minutes,” Brady announced. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“A vodka tonic,” I called out.

Zach replied, “What? Let’s meet and talk. I think you have the wrong impression of me.”

Brady returned with my drink and then went outside to wait for the food. I reread my messages with Zach and I started bawling. I felt betrayed and hurt, but mostly annoyed with myself for not only getting into the situation but letting it hurt me like that.

When Brady returned, I was crying into Tucker’s fur.

“Uh, are you okay?” he asked.

I didn’t answer him and just grabbed the food from his hands. I think Brady was a little weirded out and didn’t know what to say so he just sat down next to me.

“I miss you,” I blurted out. “I’m sorry for being such a huge bitch all the time. I don’t know how to be a good girlfriend.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Brady said.

We ate our food in silence (aside from the sounds of Tucker whining for us to share). When we were done, Brady took all our trash to the kitchen and when he returned, I stood up and threw my arms around him. He probably thought I was fucking crazy. But when I pulled away, Brady kissed me – with our cheesy garlicky breath and all.

“I miss you too,” he said.

“You shouldn’t,” I told him.

He smiled. Brady is honestly so adorable that it hurts. Like how could anyone ever be mean to him? Myself included. At that point I was comparing him to Zach and thinking out of all the things I thought he did, he never hurt me like Zach did and I just don’t think Brady is capable of that.

So we hooked up. Not my proudest moment, but I guess it’s what can be expected at 2 am after a long evening of drinking and my conversation with Zach.

I woke up the next morning in Brady’s white bed. My pillow was covered in mascara and eyeliner. Brady was still sleeping facing away from me. I laid there staring at the back of his perfect head until my creepiness seemed to wake him up. He stirred a bit and then turned and saw me watching him.

“Oh. Hey, Reese,” he said, smiling.

“I’m sorry,” I said immediately. I felt like I was invading his personal space and life by being there.

“For what?” Brady asked with his brow furrowed.

“For last night and for still being here. Thanks for the grilled cheese though,” I said.

“Thanks for hanging out with me,” he said.

I guess I was just dying to talk to someone about it, but I told him about Zach. I spared him the gorey details (the vacations, jewelry, pregnancy scare, etc) and he just looked at me for a minute.

“That’s tough,” he finally said. “I’m sure you didn’t go into it wanting to hurt someone or get hurt yourself.”

“Obviously, but I did.”

“Well don’t beat yourself up about it. It sounds like you realized your mistake and got yourself out of it. That’s about the most you can do at this point.”

I think the thing I miss most about Brady is how sweet and positive he is. I mean, he has his days like the rest of us, but overall he’s such a nice guy. But I don’t think he appreciated my story because he got up and asked if I wanted a ride home. Basically kicking me out. And I happily accepted the ride.

Later on in the day, I was out drinking margaritas with Preston and decided to text Brady for a follow up. Not to be like thirsty or anything, just so he’d know things weren’t weird.

I did something else bad. I made out with Scott. In his office. We were the only two to stay late one evening and it was one of those things that I knew was completely wrong when I was doing it, but I didn’t stop. I told myself it was fun enough and that I’d deal with the consequences later. Things have been back to normal since (me ignoring him, him sending passive aggressive emails), but I think we just needed to get it out of our system.

I don’t really have anything else to share. Brady is traveling overseas for two weeks so I’m keeping Tucker and I’ve been staying home with him so I haven’t had much of a social life. But y’all remember Christian from Houston? He will be in Chicago over the weekend and we’re hanging out. It’ll be nice to see someone drama free. I’ll keep you posted.

P.S. Thank y’all so much for the sweet emails, tweets and comments! I’ll try to come back to blogging regularly again, but it’ll take some time to get back into it. Love you!!!!

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should i download tinder?

In addition to everything else, I’ve been swamped with work. Mike suddenly wants me in charge of everything, constantly emailing me to check the progress of projects I’m not even a part of or know about. And since he seemed to think I knew about everything gong on in the office, I didn’t want to let him down and took it upon myself to get involved in everything. And the more work I took on, the more frustrated Scott got. I don’t know why, probably just because he’s Scott, but he started being kind of standoffish. This girl, Jamie, recently got promoted and Scott would send out emails like, “Only Jamie and I are allowed to handle this account. I want to keep it under control so I can’t have anyone else involved.”

Like, okay Scott. Go fuck yourself. So we avoided each other for a week until I got annoyed with walking on eggshells at work and finally confronted him.

“Hey,” I said, walking into his office. “Anything you want help with?”

Scott didn’t look up at me, but shook his head. “No, I can handle it over here.”

I was so frustrated that I just walked out without saying anything. But then later that night after work, I texted him, “Hey, is everything okay? You seem distant lately.”

Really, both of us were avoiding each other, but I was acting like it was completely one sided.

Scott replied, “I have a lot going on, but things are fine. Thank you for asking.”

I read the message and didn’t respond, but Scott continued texting me.

“Any plans this evening? I have friends in town and we are headed to a wine tasting. You’re always welcome.”

No, thank you. I hung out with Scott outside of work a few weeks ago with some other coworkers. He spent the evening telling everyone how talented I am and how I shouldn’t be single because I’m so good looking and amazing. It was really awkward and I just felt like everyone would assume that Scott and I had an inappropriate relationship going on by the things he was saying. So I was avoiding him at work and outside of work.

But now I’m working more closely with Mike and it’s nice because I feel kind of important. I love that he comes to me with questions (instead of Scott) and then tells Scott my ideas and how he wants to implement them. So it kind of feels like Mike and I vs. Scott and Jamie most of the times.

I haven’t really spoken to Zach much. I know that he knows I’m mad at him, but instead of asking me what’s going on, he sends me internet memes. And he sends old memes that I’ve already seen because he’s a little bit older and doesn’t have Instagram. But I usually just leave him on read. He did invite me to dinner one night.

“I want you. Dinner and then back to your place?” Zach texted me.

So I guess his wife wasn’t putting out that night.

I replied, “No, thank you,” and he said, “Okay.”

And then the next morning he continued sending me internet memes. Like what a loser.

I was so distracted by Zach that I didn’t really ever think about Brady (or Tucker even). But he called me last week. When I saw his name pop up, I immediately got really hot and felt like I was going to vomit because I was so nervous. After the whole Christmas party thing, Brady texted me a couple times, but I didn’t care to respond because I was so preoccupied with Zach.

“Hi,” I answered, like I wasn’t shocked and surprised that he was calling.

“Hey, Reese. How are you?” Brady said.

And he sounded so formal and polite and nice that I just about melted.

“I’m fine. What’s up?”

“Leaving work,” he told me. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 4:40 PM. Early for Brady. “I’m sorry this is so last minute, but I’ll be gone for the next three days and I wanted to see if you’d like to keep Tucker during that time? And you could even keep him through the weekend if you want.”

I literally squealed. “Of course I will! I miss my little Tuck and I know he misses me too.”

Brady laughed. “Yeah, he does. We both do.”

I didn’t catch that last piece at the time and continued making arrangements for Brady to drop off Tucker at my apartment the next afternoon (Valentine’s Day).

I was still wearing my clothes from work when I opened the door for Brady, but he had changed into jeans. He looked really good. Tucker was on a leash and patiently sitting, waiting to be let in.

“Oh my God, hiiiii!” I screamed and bent down to give Tucker some loving. He immediately rolled over on his back and sucked it all up.

“Hello,” Brady said.

I looked up at him. “Look at how much Tucker has missed me. How cruel and evil of you to keep us away from each other.”

Brady laughed and then to my surprise, he pulled a single red rose from behind his back. I raised my eyebrows and he said, “It’s from Tucker.”

I stood up and took it from him. “Thanks.” I turned and walked back inside. They followed.

Brady seemed to take a look around at my apartment and then said, “No plans this evening?”

“Not yet,” I told him, wondering if he would take the bait.

He said, “Ah.” He had brought a little drawstring bag full of Tucker’s goodies and sat it on the kitchen counter.

“Where are you going this week?” I had to ask.

“Work stuff,” Brady said, not making eye contact and I automatically knew he was lying. I assumed he was taking a girl on a Valentine’s Day trip.

So I spent the week trying to figure out where Brady was and that proved difficult because he doesn’t use social media. I even asked Preston for help since he basically doubles as a private investigator. He couldn’t find anything either.

But Brady is coming by tomorrow after work to pick up Tucker and I’m super sad and thinking about blocking his number so I can keep the dog. Is that bad? I don’t care.

You know what else has been keeping my mind occupied? Kendra had a fucking baby! A real life, breathing mini human. It’s so weird and creepy. And since she’s not working and the baby sleeps literally all day, she’s bored and texts me a lot. It’s kind of cute, she’s just now catching up on everything that’s been happening in the world that she missed while busy and pregnant. It’s a little girl and she’s actually stunning, like the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. I was kind of afraid she would get some of John’s tragic genes, but she’s beautiful just like Kendra. It kind of makes me want one.

Anyway, I’m thinking about downloading some dating apps. Which ones would y’all recommend? I’m not looking for a new boyfriend or anything, I’m just super bored now and want someone to talk to. I miss y’all! What’s new?! 

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an update. 

Hi y’all.

I’m sorry for not being around. I really want to write and share everything going on in my life, but it’s been hard. It’s hard to find the time and also blogging and this blog reminds me so much of Brady. And I’ve impressed myself with how little I’ve been thinking about him.

Probably because I have a distraction. I told y’all that I’ve been seeing someone who I shouldn’t. He’s married. I met him at a birthday party for one of Kendra’s husband John’s friends. She was feeling sorry for me and trying to push me back into the social world and I reluctantly accepted. It was being held at a new restaurant here in Chicago and I knew that I would never get the opportunity to go otherwise because I had no men in my life. Woe is me.

Let’s call him Zach. The first thing I noticed about him was the thick, trendy titanium wedding band on his finger. And then I noticed his suit. It was navy and fit impeccably (I thought men didn’t wear navy suits anymore). He’s a businessman, works in finance at a huge office not far from mine. That’s how we began talking. Where were the good places for lunch takeout, for happy hour after work, the best way to get to O’Hare for a Friday redeye after a long week. I was thinking, “Okay, he’s a nice guy, but too bad he’s married.”

And I’ll admit it, he was really, really hot. Not in a Ryan Reynolds kind of way. He was a bit older, scruffier, with big rough hands and a buzz cut. Like a man you marry kind of hot. And someone did.

I wasn’t surprised at all when he suggested we exchange business cards, but I did assume it was innocent. The man was married and obviously off limits, and that was fine with me.

He emailed later that saying it was nice to meet me. I sent a polite response with a winking emoji and then we just kept emailed each other. And I’m honestly not even sure how it all happened, but we started spending a lot of time together. At first it was just drinks after work. His coworkers would be there and we’d hang out until midnight and we were shitfaced. The second time we ever hung out, he explained that he and his wife were married just for convenience. They’d been married for just a couple years, but the love was gone. They still got along very well and could cohabitate, but separating or divorcing was just not necessary at the time. He said they even stayed in separate bedrooms.

“She’s a nice woman and any man would be lucky to end up with her. But it’s just not me. I’m not attracted her anymore,” he explained.

I should’ve known better than to believe that. Who stays in a marriage just because they are too lazy to separate? That’s not a life anyone would be willing to live. But I was heartbroken and vulnerable and loved having attention from a man, even if he was a taken one.

The first time we hung out alone, it was on a Friday night after work. We had both stayed pretty late at the our respective offices and had worked through lunch and blah blah blah. He invited me to grab a quick bite to eat and I accepted. A little too eagerly.

Something at that dinner changed our dynamic. It was like we were inseparable. And since he’d explained his marriage situation, I figured I wasn’t doing anything wrong. He came back to my place and we proceeded to have the best sex probably ever (the wine and vodka helped). I was hooked.

Zach got me diamonds for Christmas. And ditched his wife and their friends to hang out with me on New Year’s Eve. We made a pizza and sat on my couch drinking tequila and it was the best New Year’s Eve I’ve ever had. He took me to his family’s vacation house in Miami one weekend. He took me to his family’s snowy Michigan home another weekend. Zach usually told me that his wife was doing things with her girlfriends or family and that she wasn’t worried about what he was doing. The only thing I knew about her was that her name is Kelsey and she’s small and blonde (there was a picture hanging at the Michigan house and I took once glance at it and decided not to study it or care about it).

Kelsey would text Zach sometimes when we were out, but not a lot and I figured she was just giving him vital updates about the home they share. Once he was showing me something on his phone and a text notification from her dropped down. She had sent him a couple heart eye emojis and he didn’t try to hide it and neither of us acknowledged it and I assumed it didn’t mean anything.

I even had a pregnancy scare. I was upset about it and a huge bitch, but Zach was surprisingly really supportive about it. I turned out not to be pregnant, thank God, but Zach was really sweet and told me that maybe it wasn’t meant to be right now, but one day I’m going to be a great mother and he hoped he could share that with me. We made a lot of plans for the future. Like even for this spring and summer. He says there are so many places he wants to show me. He said he and Kelsey want to finally divorce this year and do their own things and I was just excited not to have to work around her schedule, you know?

Zach made me super happy and definitely distracted me from Brady (when I was with Zach, I forgot Brady even existed). I didn’t tell any of my friends about him except Preston because Preston of all people would understand the situation and not just judge me and tell me that I was being stupid and naive. I didn’t want to hear that, not when I was so happy. And of course, Preston just wanted the dirty details and to dissect everything (“Is Kelsey seeing other people too? Does his family know he’s taking his mistress on a tour of their vacation houses? Is his dick big?”)

Last week Preston sent me a picture from an Instagram. It was from Kelsey’s Instagram story and it was of Zach holding a little baby kitten. She’d typed, “Finally completed our family!”

My stomach dropped. It was then that I realized that Zach was still very much married and had no plans of separating this woman. They weren’t just married for convenience or simply roommates, they were a couple who had taken vows and just bought a pet together. I was devastated. I realized that whatever Zach and I had, he would always have more with Kelsey.

And now I see him much differently. I always thought it was a little lame to say they were still married because getting a divorce would be too much work, but now I think he’s a huge coward for stringing me along and lying.

Maybe because it was such a whirlwind romance or because I was so vulnerable, but this feels much worse than my breakup with Brady. Like I just don’t understand how I can be the same after this. Zach always said he will always love me no matter what happens and he hopes I feel the same. I don’t know if he spoke that into existence, but I care about him more than I should especially now.

So now I don’t know what to do. I haven’t seen him since last week and I’ve been avoiding him even though he hasn’t asked to see me or anything. I know he can tell something is off, but won’t acknowledge it…because he’s a coward.

I miss y’all so much. And don’t kill me, but I miss Brady too. Everything he did seems so minor compared to this. I don’t think he deliberately strung me along or tried to hurt me, but I know that I need to be done with them both.

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we will never be together again.

Hey y’all.

I’m all settled into my new apartment. It’s weird being alone all the time because I’m so used to Brady coming home and making dinner and having to clean up after myself. But now I’m back to having meals delivered and keeping my laundry in piles on the floor. I did hire a lady to come every two weeks to tidy up though.

When I moved out of Brady’s place, it was super amicable and almost like we weren’t breaking up. It felt like I had to move because his sick grandmother was moving in and we were all okay with it because it was the right thing to do. Or something. My dad even took us out for drinks after a long day’s work and we all laughed and had fun and Brady put his arm around me and kissed me. In front of my dad!

After my dad left though, we stopped texting and talking. I was beyond confused about everything and I wanted to have a reason to hate him and be done. I felt like if I hated him then it would be a lot easier to not be with him.

Randomly, one day at work, Brady texted me, “Dan’s friend from college is having an ugly sweater party if you want to come.”

And I texted back asking for the details and then I told him I’d go. I figured if he was taking the time to ask me (after not talking for that long) then he probably wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see him. So I got on Google and found the cutest ugly sweater I could find (think every color in the rainbow + sequins). The party was in the evening so I spent the day with Preston, who has been super busy with work and life. He might get engaged soon though which sucks because then I’ll literally be the only one left. But I’m happy for him.

Brady texted me around 6:30 PM saying, “Want to meet up?”

Of course I’d been waiting all day to hear from him so I quickly finished up my drink and told Preston that I needed to get going.

“So soon?” Preston asked.

I felt a bit bad for ditching him, but I was thirsty and wanted to see Brady. So I quickly hugged Preston goodbye, called an Uber and headed to the party. The place was trashed, but somewhat tame so I figured the party was dying down at that point. I spotted Brady standing in the kitchen looking at his phone. He was alone and I rushed over to him.

“Hey you,” I greeted him.

Brady looked up and gave me this look that made my heart start beating faster.

“Hey. How are you?” Brady asked. His voice was slightly hoarse which was weird, but I assumed he must have been sick or recovering from being sick. And that made me miss him even more for some reason.

“Great. I thought it would be crazier here,” I said.

“Yeah, it was,” Brady smirked. “You look cute.”

I beamed.

We stood there hanging out for a little bit. He told me about work and how he’d been invited to work on a project at the university, but wasn’t sure if he wanted to commit to it.

“It’s weird not having you around,” he admitted.

I shrugged, not about to get into the fact that he was eager to help me leave and hadn’t really made an effort to talk to me after I was gone. “Weird, yes.”

Brady looked at me and ran a hand over his hair like he was thinking and started to say something, but then Dan walked over steadily carrying three shots.

“Reese! Hey! One of my favorite drinking buddies!” he greeted me. Dan handed each of us a shot of Fireball and kept one for himself. Why do people insist on making Fireball a thing? Annoying.

We took our shot and then this girl showed up behind Dan. She was about my height, dark hair, wearing a tank top that showed off huge (real) tits and a Santa hat.

“Hey!” Brady greeted her.

“There you are,” she said. “I thought I’d lost you.”

Brady smiled and put his arm around her and said, “Never!”

The entire exchange was a little weird, but I figured he must have been pretty freaking drunk.

“This is Reese,” he introduced us, but I don’t remember him saying her name.

She shook my hand. “You’re gorgeous. And that sweater is amazing.”

I was pretty drunk by this point, but still decided to play nice. I thanked her then proceeded to tell her all about how I’d found my sweater and all the other sweaters I turned down during my shopping journey.

She and Brady continued chatting amongst themselves, acting like no one else was there. So I was forced to talk to Dan for a little while until the girl he’s seeing showed up. So then I just stood there glaring at Brady, but he didn’t even seem to notice. I was just thinking, “Who is this girl and why is he wasting his time talking to her and not me? We haven’t seen each other in forever.” But I was also drunk and really sad.

I’m not sure how much time passed, but eventually I realized that Brady and the girl had walked away. I quickly started to look around to try to find them and that’s when I spotted them walking through the front room toward the door. The girl was leading and Brady was behind her, drinking a beer. He glanced around and we made eye contact, but then he looked away like he didn’t even know me. It was so weird and uncomfortable and made my stomach drop to my feet.

It took a couple minutes for it to sink in and for me to realize what had happened. I took out my phone and texted Brady, “Did you just ditch me?”

I stared at my phone for ten minutes until he read my message and then didn’t reply. I texted him again, “What the fuck? Seriously Brady?” and still no response.

Dan swung back around, looking for Brady then he asked how my life has been. I burst into tears. I’m sure Dan probably thought I was a drunk lunatic (congrats, Dan, you’re correct), but I didn’t even care. Eventually I realized how crazy I looked so I called an Uber and went home.

Brady actually never texted me back about that. The next morning I woke up expecting him to at least apologize or blame it on the alcohol or something, but I didn’t hear from him. So then I got angry. We aren’t together, but I thought I at least deserved not to get ditched.

Anyway, I’m sorry about being MIA. I’m talking to someone else now who I shouldn’t even be talking to and he’s taking up a lot of my time and energy and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t want to talk about Brady anymore or even think about him and that’s why it took so long for me to get this post up. I’ll be back soon. 

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i hope this isn’t the end. 

Brady said I’m the most selfish person he’s ever met. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but I was. But it did inspire me to be better. No one wants to hear that, especially from the person who they are supposed to marry.

I told him that I think I should move out and we should just do our own thing for a while. And he said, “I don’t care what you do, Reese. You are going to do what you want regardless of what I think anyway. You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met.”

But let me backtrack. We’d already had prior plans to go to Massachusetts for Brady’s dad’s party the weekend after the election. Luckily we were talking more and neither of us even mentioned canceling. On the flight there, Brady talked a lot about work and how stressful and exciting it’s been. It was nice that he was actually talking to me and telling me about his life because I can’t even remember the last time he did that. Usually it’s “hello” and “goodbye” and “I’m going to pick up dinner, do you want anything?”

Brady’s parents sent a car to pick us up from the Boston airport because they’d be arriving after us. So it was weird to be in Brady’s parents house without them. Like even quieter and spookier. And I was freaked out that his mom had hidden cameras everywhere and was watching us remotely for ammo to use against me later. I don’t know.

Brady found a bottle of whiskey and made Old Fashioneds.

“Hunter’s coming. He will be here tomorrow,” Brady said as he next to me at the island. “Last minute decision. Dom and the kids are staying home.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I’m surprised. He hates coming here more than you do.”

Brady shrugged. “I’m sure he just needs an escape.”

I had some snide remarks I wanted to say, but maturity. I nodded. “What time do you think your parents will get here?”

He said, “Probably soon.”

It was about 8:30 at that time so we sat at the island and had a couple more drinks for the next hour. We were happy and tipsy when we noticed lights pulling into the driveway.

“They’re here!” I squealed, as if that was anything to be excited about.

Brady stood up and started cleaning up our cups and the liquor and I stood up to greet the parents at the door.

Brady’s mom opened the door and looked startled to see me.

“Hi, welcome home,” I said and giggled.

She just scowled at me. Brady’s dad followed her in behind the driver who had their luggage.

“Hello! How are you?” the dad said, immediately pulling me into a hug. Such a nice guy.

Brady joined us in the foyer and his mom immediately began questioning him. I could tell Brady was drunk and annoyed because he began mumbling answers and rolling his eyes.

“I’m sure you’re tired. I’ll make you a cup of tea?” I said to Brady’s parents.

His mom raised her eyebrows at me and walked past us toward the kitchen. Guess not.

The four of us sat around the island for a little while talking. Brady’s mom mostly just asked Brady about work and nodded proudly at how well he’s doing. There was a short lull in the conversation and Brady’s dad cut in and said, “What’s new with you, Reese? Is work going okay?”

“Of course,” I said. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Things must be more than okay if you’ve stayed this long,” Brady’s mom said cutting her eyes toward me.

Little does she know that I’ve been low key browsing job boards just to see what’s out there.

I slept downstairs in my little dungeon room that night and for the first time, I didn’t sneak up to Brady’s room and he didn’t sneak down to me. So I read on my tablet until I fell asleep.

The next morning, Brady and I took one of the cars to Boston to pick Hunter up from the airport. On the way back, we stopped to get alcohol to get us through the day and night. Obviously we’d need it.

We all went to dinner in the city before the party that night. I could tell Brady’s mom disapproved of my midi bodycon dress, but I didn’t even care because I looked cute and she doesn’t matter anymore. It was Hunter’s turn to be on the hot seat as their parents grilled him about his work and Dom and the kids.

Eventually Hunter said, “Everything is fine. The wife is fine. The babies are fine. It’s cool. Chill.”

I smirked at him. Brady would literally never dismiss his mother like that, but I wish he would.

Also for the first time, Anna was not at the party. I asked Brady if she was going to be there when we walked in and he said, “Uh, I don’t know actually. I think she’s traveling this month.”

Ever since our little rendezvous, I noticed that Brady and Anna stopped talking as much. She still emailed him and stuff, but his responses were short if he even responded at all.

I looked out for her a little bit when we first got there, but forgot about her as we started drinking.

Brady announced that he needed to go to the restroom and I told him I’d go with him because I’m just annoying like that. It was a single stall and I touched up my makeup while Brady did his business. When he was finished, I confronted him about us being on a break.

“Honestly, I think breaks are stupid and I don’t believe in them. So either you want to break up or not,” I said.

He shrugged as he washed his hands.

And that’s when I brought up the whole moving out thing. I honestly did think it’s probably best that I move out, but I also just wanted to gauge his reaction. And that’s when he called me selfish.

“How am I selfish? What else am I supposed to do?” I exclaimed.

“I don’t care. Do whatever you want, Reese,” Brady said and then he walked out.

I stayed in the bathroom for a little while, texting Kendra. She was complaining about being pregnant and the baby and I felt ridiculous for being drunk and fighting with Brady. Like, will I ever grow up? So I didn’t mention it.

I went back out to the party and found Brady and Hunter. Brady didn’t even look at me.

“There you are, little lady. We’re headed to the bar,” Hunter said.

And I didn’t really have a choice, but go with them. What else was I supposed to do, stay at the party and hang out with Brady’s parents? No thank you.

We Ubered a couple miles away to a bar where Hunter knew the bouncers. Brady had to go to the bathroom again immediately and Hunter and I told him we would meet him at the bar and order him a drink.

“Your brother is so mean sometimes,” I told him.

Hunter’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? Why do you say that?”

I explained to him what happened in the bathroom and then backtracked and explained the situations with Scott and Christian.

“Look, Brady is sensitive as shit. You know that. He’ll relax soon,” Hunter said. “In fact, let’s get him a shot.”

Brady kind of just ignored me all night. Luckily Hunter was going out of his way to include me because he knew what Brady was doing. At one point, Brady went to the bar to get a beer and Hunter put his arm around my waist.

“Cheer up. He’s gonna come around,” he said. I could tell he was really drunk because his eyes were creepy and low. I pulled away from him.

And then later, Hunter said, “Hey, don’t be upset. Brady is being an idiot. You’re hot. He’s going to keep you around.”

Um, wtf. And Brady was standing right there next to us. What a fucked up thing to say. I thought Hunter was more mature than that (remember that conversation we had about Dom when I first met him?), but obviously boys will be boys.

It pissed me off though. Not that Hunter owes me anything. But like, dismissing my concerns about Brady because I’m hot? Ew.

Carly got married. I can’t roll my eyes hard enough. She was a huge bridezilla bitch the week before the wedding and it annoyed me. I wanted to be like, “You don’t even want to marry Chris, you just want a wedding.” But that’s mean.

Brady and I didn’t really talk or see each other much that week, but I’d been looking at apartments. I texted Hunter something like, “He still isn’t talking to me,” and Hunter sent back some confused face .gif.

We put on a pretty convincing show at the wedding, pretending nothing was wrong. Carly’s mom even mentioned us being next. But then at the reception all of us got really drunk. The four of us plus some of Brady and Chris’s friends were hanging out and I heard Chris say, “So Brady man, are you getting any pussy tonight?”

SERIOUSLY?

I was drunk and had a delayed reaction, but pushed Chris when I realized what he said. Brady laughed. And when I woke up on Sunday morning, I decided that I am for sure 100% moving out. And I was so distraught by what Chris said that I grabbed Preston and we ditched the party to go to Boystown.

So I’m moving into my place next weekend. I’m really, really sad about it, but I think it’ll be good for me. I couldn’t move this past weekend because I was in Houston, but now my dad is going to come help me on Friday.

It sucks. I feel like I wasted all that time with Brady and now I’m back to where I started. If we were mad at each other, it would feel different, but he’s being nice, cordial and even offered to help me get all my shit out (but he told my dad he would help which is worse). So now it really feels over.

I needed to get out of Chicago so I went home to Houston for Thanksgiving. I haven’t gone home in forever and it felt kind of nice to do the whole family thing. I decided to stay with my mom because she was so incredibly excited that I was coming and I figured she (we) could use the company.

And obviously, when I was in Houston I saw Christian. I’d had such an awful day on the Wednesday before that I drank until I passed out on the flight. I Ubered to my mom’s, changed into a dress and met Brittany at a restaurant opening.

She squealed and threw her arms around me. “You look so good! How are you?” I noticed her checking behind me (probably looking for Brady because I hadn’t told her anything) and then look back at me with a sympathetic smile.

We met up with Christian later at a club where his friend was DJing. Christian knows pretty much everyone in the music industry in Houston. He too pulled me into a hug, kissed my cheek and kept a hand on my lower back the whole night. So if Brittany hadn’t caught on by then, she definitely did now.

I went home fairly early, but Christian and I made plans to see each other the next morning – without Brittany. We went to breakfast and then back to his studio so he could work.

Christian sat down at his computer and said, “So tell me what’s up?” without even looking at me.

That kind of irritated me, but I wasn’t about to say anything and start drama so early on.

“Not a whole lot. I’m moving into my apartment next weekend so… you’ll be able to come visit me,” I said.

“Good. I’d like to do that,” Christian said, grabbing my knee, but not looking over at me. He noticed I didn’t say anything and finally looked at me. “I’d like to see more of you.”

I hung out with him for a couple hours while he worked and he showed me some of his work. Eventually we needed to go be with our respective families, but we made plans for dinner on Friday night. On my way out, Christian grabbed me and kissed me on my forehead which almost felt more intimate than my lips.

I spent Thanksgiving with my mom only because both sets of grandparents were on vacation and that’s really the only other family I have. My dad texted me telling me “Happy Thanksgiving,” but when I replied asking what was doing I never got an answer. And when I told my mom, she assured me that he was with his girlfriend.

“He doesn’t have a girlfriend, Mom,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Y’all aren’t even divorced.”

After spending the night with Christian on Friday and all day Saturday, I decided to go clubbing with Brittany on Saturday night. I was enjoying his company a little too much and I already knew I was going to be devastated having to go back to Chicago and be ignored by Brady. So I thought a blackout night was in store.

Brittany is talking to this older real estate investor who has like a ton of money. He had a table at the club and Brittany and I were taking advantage of the bottle service.

Do y’all remember my story about Trevor, the guy I hooked up with when we were in high school? I saw him out and I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited to run into someone. I was walking back from the bathroom and he recognized me first.

“Reese?” he asked in a really surprised voice.

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed and threw my arms around him. “What are you doing here?”

“What?” he shouted back.

“How are you?” I asked.

Trevor pointed to his ear indicating that he couldn’t hear me so I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the bathroom corridor where it was quieter.

“What’s up? How are you? It’s so good to see you,” I said.

“It’s good to see you, too. You look great.” Trevor gave me an appreciative nod after glancing over my body.

We stood there for probably 10-15 minutes talking about life (can’t even remember what), and eventually he said his friends were leaving soon so he needed to get going.

“Okay, well we will talk soon, okay?” I said. And then we both leaned in and kissed each other. This lasted a couple of seconds and then Trevor grabbed my shoulders and pulled away.

“I was going to kiss you on the cheek,” he laughed. “I have a girlfriend and she has spies everywhere.”

“I was going to kiss you on the cheek, too!” I lied and then shrugged. “Sorry.”

I headed back to our table and to my surprise, Christian had showed up. I hadn’t invited him or told him where I was. I still jumped in his lap nevertheless.

“Oh my gosh, missed you!” I said kissing him, just two minutes after kissing Trevor.

We made out there for a little bit and then Brittany called us for a picture. I knew it would absolutely end up on Facebook within seconds, but I didn’t care. I flipped my hair over my shoulder and smiled big for her.

We stayed until the bouncers were literally kicking people out and then I demanded to go get food. IHOP was the only thing open which I was okay with. Christian, Brittany, Brittany’s man and I grabbed a booth and ordered half the menu.

“So, are you going to go back to Chicago and forget about me?” Christian asked me.

I shook my head. “Of course not. I’m going to visit so much. Just watch.”

But on the plane ride home, I realized that I was probably just wasting both of our time. I hate going to Houston, especially with my parents fighting like this.

So I’ve been kind of short with him since getting back and making every excuse to why I can’t FaceTime (but Brady being in the other room is actually a pretty valid reason).

Speaking of Brady, he wants to keep custody of Tucker and give me visitation rights which I think is so unfair. I’m the only one who ever takes Tucker out for walks and buys him things, Brady just plays with him sometimes when he gets off work. He has no idea about Tucker’s routine and what he likes. Why does he think Tucker should stay with him?

I asked and Brady rolled his eyes impatiently. “You can see him whenever you want. You can even keep your key. I’m not going to take Tucker from you.”

And I will definitely take him up on the offer to keep my key.

I’m so depressed. I don’t know how to get over this. I know it’s going to take time, but now it hurts so much that I don’t see how I’m going to make it. I thought Christian would be a good distraction and he was, but now I’m back to reality and in Chicago and in the same house as Brady and Christian couldn’t be farther away. And now I’m even more depressed with the holidays coming up and Brady’s birthday. I’m just like really sad. And I’m having trouble remembering what I was like and I did before Brady. He’s been such a huge part of my life and I’m kind of hoping this isn’t the end. 

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i have a confession.

I have a confession. Do y’all remember that guy, Christian, who I met when I was back home in Houston? Well, we’ve been keeping in contact. And I don’t know, I kind of like him. I think with Brady, I love that he inspires me to be better, to do better and to think (he coached me through all of the election shit). But Christian inspires me to be myself. I don’t like him and like, want to be with him (I love Brady), but I guess I’ve been caught up in our own little world.

I don’t why I’m like this y’all. Maybe I’m just not the kind of person who is made for a monogamous relationship. I don’t know when and where to draw the line. I enjoy talking to people. I love making people obsessed with me. I feel like I need that to thrive.

And when Brady caught wind of what was going on with Christian, he suggested we take a break. It wasn’t even that he was mad or frustrated at me, he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I protested, but he insisted and then he pulled out his laptop and started working.

So that’s what got me thinking that maybe something is just wrong with me. And I don’t know how to handle a real life relationship. I sent Brady an email apologizing, asking for forgiveness and assuring him that I wouldn’t do it again. He didn’t reply and then I figured maybe I do need time to think.

The next couple days we didn’t see each other and literally just slept in the bed together because we had to. On Saturday morning, Kendra and John invited us to brunch and we made plans to go like nothing was wrong. On our way there, Brady got a text message and actually smiled at his phone when he read it. He’d gone to a Cubs game the night before with friends (I had no right to ask with who) and I suddenly started to think, maybe he wants this break because he found someone else.

You know that lump you get in your throat when you want to cry, but you can’t? I kind of felt like I was in control of the situation prior to that, like yeah Brady had called for a break, but he was still obsessed with me and hadn’t asked me to move out because our break would be over soon, right?

I was a total mute at brunch and Kendra picked up on it.

“Reese, are you okay? You always have so much to say,” she said.

They all looked at me and Brady even gave me a little smile.

“How rude. Yes I’m okay. I’m just thinking about what I’m going to wear to the bar later,” I said.

That night I went to a bar with Lexi and Scott texted me. He had a friend in town from England and was showing him around River North. And so we ended up at the same bar.

“So nice to finally get to see you outside the confines of that office,” he greeted me.

I rolled my eyes.

“Wait, Reese, your boss is actually hot,” Lexi whispered in my ear.

I probably used to think Scott was hot, but now that I know him not so much. And that accent just doesn’t have the same affect on me that it has on other women.

The four of us hung out at the bar and I noticed that a ring-less Scott and Lexi seemed to be hitting it off. I was having fun so I didn’t care. Until I glanced over and saw Scott standing behind Lexi with his arms wrapped around her waist. Wait, what? And suddenly it dawned on me: maybe Scott isn’t obsessed with me or in love with me. Maybe I was just the closest hot girl he could have an affair with. And since obviously I wasn’t biting, he’d moved on to Lexi. Ew.

“Well I’m gonna go,” I announced.

And to my surprise, Lexi and Scott just waved me off. I called my Uber and went home. I don’t even know what I was feeling. Jealousy? Why was I so grossed out?

When I got home Brady was home and we hooked up. And then after we finished Brady announced that he was going to shower and sleep downstairs. What the fuck? Even though we’d been on a break, we were continuing to sleep in the same bed and even cuddling some nights. So I definitely felt rejected or like he regretted hooking up with me.

After Brady left I saw that Scott had texted me a couple times.

“Hey, where did you go?” and “I need to see you.”

Needless to say I didn’t respond to that.

On Sunday night, Brady and I went to a bar together to watch the game. I don’t know if I just needed to tell someone or what, but I blabbed to him what happened with Scott and Lexi.

“Wait, you met up with your boss at the bar?” he clarified.

“I mean, yeah…” I said, suddenly regretting my story.

Brady gave me a weird look. “Oh.”

“But he’s moved on to Lexi. He’s not interested in me anymore, thank God.”

Brady took a sip of his beer and didn’t say anything. He’s the one who wanted a break so how can he be upset about me hanging out with other people? Especially because I caught him texting Jessica. Jessica. And asking her where she was watching Game 6.

So I have another confession. I stopped taking birth control. And I haven’t told Brady. As far as I know we are still on this stupid break, but we’ve had sex several times. And this sounds bad, but I feel like if I get pregnant then he will have to be with me and not Jessica or whoever else. I say that because he went out the following Tuesday to watch the game, didn’t invite me and came home at almost 3:00 am. And then he immediately got in the shower before even coming to say anything to me. And that led me to believe he must have hooked up with someone. Right? Probably Jessica? Just the thought makes me want to jump off a bridge.

I don’t know. Relationships are stupid and hard. I want nothing more than to be with Brady for eternity. I know y’all don’t believe that and at this point he probably doesn’t either, and I don’t know how to express that to him. Especially since my actions haven’t exactly showed it. I’m so bad at this! And this is why I’ll never get married or be happy. I know everything I’m doing now is super stupid, but I seriously don’t know what to do. The thought of not being with Brady physically hurts.

**If you voted for Trump, please don’t read my blog anymore.

***Update: for those who were asking about the baseball player I dated for a little bit. He may have played for the other Chicago team 🙂 and he is actually no longer on that team either. So no, he’s not a World Series champion now! 

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he’s worse than my actual boyfriend.

Hey y’all. Sorry for being MIA. So much to catch you up on though.

So Mike started being really nice to me at work, including me in everything and constantly asking for my opinion. And he was just like, softer. One day after a meeting, both of us stayed in the conference room kind of debriefing. And then he was telling me about how he became the senior vice president. How he’d sold mattresses right out of college and hated it even though he was really good at it. He realized that he wanted to do more. He wanted to elevate the company because he knew the potential was there. And after being given an opportunity to go work corporate, he increased sales of the entire company by 25% in just six months.

“How did you do that?” I asked.

“I thought like a consumer. That’s why a lot of companies don’t turn a profit. They think about the business, not about who makes the business. And you think like a consumer. That’s why you’re so successful here,” Mike said.

I nodded. “I mean, I am the ultimate consumer myself.”

Mike laughed. I’ve only seen Mike laugh or even smile a handful of times and never because of something I said or did. That conversation changed something. That evening after work, Mike texted me, “Nice talking to you today, Reese. And keep up the good work.”

The next morning Mike emailed me and asked me to stop by his office as soon as I got in.

“I want to see an increase in engagement,” he said as soon as I stepped in. “It’s not enough to just send email blasts everyday. Everyone’s doing it and no cares.”

I nodded. “Okay. So what did you have in mind?”

“You tell me. You’re the ultimate consumer.” Mike looked up at me and he actually smiled. He was actually treating me like a normal person who existed.

I walked out of Mike’s office and ran right into Scott, who was on his way in.

“Hey,” he greeted me. “Did you have a meeting with Mike?”

“Briefly. I can fill you in if you want,” I replied.

And I meant I could fill him in later after he finished his own meeting with Mike, but Scott followed me to my office right then. I felt kind of bad because it honestly wasn’t that important, but Scott is always the one saying he needs to know every time I talk to Mike and what we talked about. And then Scott sat in my office and proceeded to give me ideas for how to increase engagement for an hour.

Eventually I said, “If Mike wanted you to do this then wouldn’t he have asked you?”

Scott laughed, but I was totally serious.

Later on in the week, Scott invited me to lunch (on him) so I agreed. We mostly talked about some of the projects we’ve been working on and general company gossip (not about people, but about numbers and competitors).

And then Scott said, “You know, Mike really likes you. He thinks you’re doing really well.”

“Good. Mike’s opinion is important to me,” I said.

Scott smirked. “And mine isn’t?”

I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t say that. Everything isn’t always about you, Scott.”

“I know. I’m giving you a hard time. I hope you speak as highly of me when I’m not around too,” he said.

When we got back to our respective offices, Scott texted me, “For the record, I think you’re doing really well also. I’m glad to have you around.”

I said, “Thank you. Your opinion counts too. :-)”

Scott drunk texted me that weekend trying to get me to come meet him at the bar. I played with him for a little bit, pretending like I was going to come, until Brady wanted to know who was blowing up my phone. So then I felt bad and stopped texting back.

Scott’s last text message said, “I guess you aren’t coming. Fine. See you Monday.”

Jeez.

And so as soon as I saw Scott on Monday, I asked, “How was your weekend?” in front of everyone.

“Thank you, Reese. I had a nice weekend,” he said, avoiding eye contact.

And then when we both went to our respective offices, he texted me, “I wish I’d spent it with you though.”

Mike started giving me more assignments and responsibilities. I feel like he realized that I’m actually pretty smart and started trusting me to do things. He had a lunch meeting that ran late and texted me asking to start the company wide conference call. And one day he gave me his password so I could log into his account and text him some sales numbers while he was out of the office. Clearly he trusts me more than he trusts Scott if he’s giving me his password.

This went on for a couple weeks – Scott texting me when he was out and drinking, me responding by playing coy, but never actually meeting up with him. And Mike randomly asking me to come visit him in his office to give me new things to do or ask my opinion on things. Scott would text me all the time like, “What did Mike want?” or “Anything important?” Because I can’t talk to Mike without Scott knowing about it. He’s worse than my actual boyfriend.

One night Scott and I texted for several hours. We weren’t really talking about anything – drinking, bars, food, traveling. Nothing important. And then he said, “Can I tell you something honestly? With no repercussions?”

And of course I just wanted to know what his confession was so I said, “Sure.”

“I never expected to feel this way about you, but I really like you, Reese. More than I should. And I know I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I really want you to know.”

“I don’t know what to say…” was all I could think to respond.

“You don’t have to say anything. But I love you Reese.”

At this point I wanted to jump off a bridge. What the fuck? Why would Scott even think it was okay to say that to me? I suddenly regretted everything – meeting him at Starbucks, accepting a job offer from him, texting him and ever seeing him outside of work. I know it’s hard to hate me ( 🙂 ), but this was ridiculous.

Scott and I didn’t mention what he said again after that conversation, but we were both being nicer to each other. I tried to avoid him at work, but he’d send me meeting invites all the time and instant message me to ask if I was busy and did I work to get together to work? This sounds bad, but I was completely taking advantage of Scott’s confession. I knew that I could get my way at work no matter what. Whatever I requested, Scott said yes. And he was actually putting me in charge of things and giving me the responsibilities that I wanted so I couldn’t complain.

It was all fun and games until Brady went through my phone one night. Brady doesn’t ever go through my phone – like ever, so I didn’t think I had anything to worry about. But I’d given him my passcode so he could print something from my email and I guess Scott texted me while he had my phone. And Brady confronted me (Reese style) when I walked in the kitchen.

“Scott says he’s thinking about you,” Brady mumbled.

“Oh…”

“Are you having an affair with your boss, Reese?” he asked.

“No! Are you kidding?” I exclaimed.

“He said he’s in love with you. Isn’t he married?”

“Yes, but-”

“But what? I don’t understand how you’re going to try to talk your way out of this one.” Brady handed my phone to me and stormed out.

I followed him to the living room where he was pulling his laptop out. I sat down next to him on the couch.

“Listen, I know it looks bad, but it isn’t what you think,” I said.

“Reese, just leave me alone right now. I don’t care what you do,” Brady said.

I sat there watching him for a few minutes until I realized that he was right and that I was 100% in the wrong. I should have stopped Scott the moment he started making inappropriate passes at me.

Brady didn’t talk to me for the entire week and both of us spent a lot of time at work. I was frustrated with myself and also Scott, but only took it out on Scott. It was his fault for falling in love with me obviously. (And honestly, what made him think he was in love with me anyway? I’m nothing but a huge bitch to him and he really knows nothing about me at all outside of work).

One day Scott and I got in a huge disagreement about the way he runs his business. I obviously think I could do a much better job, but I also think there’s a ton of stuff I don’t know because Scott won’t teach me. He prefers to do everything himself and then makes me do stupid shit like organize files. And I like to remind him that I didn’t go into student loan debt to organize files.

“Scott, you’ll never get out of your current position if you don’t ever train anyone. You have to invest in your employees. If you don’t think I’m capable of handling this stuff then why did you hire me?” I said.

“I think you’re capable of doing my job and much more, Reese,” he said in his stupid accent.

“Then will you please let me actually do things? I’m not a child,” I said.

“I know you’re not a child. If you want to do more things, I’m more than happy to let you. Just let me know what you want to do and I will let you,” Scott said.

So I demanded to do everything hence why I was working my ass off and not spending much time at home. No complaints though.

Friday afternoon, I came home from work and Brady was already home and changed into regular clothes.

“Hey, Hunter is coming this weekend. I just thought I’d let you know,” he said.

“K,” I replied, passing him.

“I’m getting him from the airport now…if you want to come.”

I agreed and during the long drive to O’Hare on a Friday afternoon, we somewhat made up. I say somewhat because we argued about Scott for a little while before Brady finally changed the subject and we didn’t talk about it anymore. I was just glad that we were speaking again.

On Friday night, the three of us went to a couple of bars to hang out. Do y’all remember that red head chick Hunter met at Mariano’s last time he was here? I was shocked and confused when she showed up at the bar.

She skipped in and gave Hunter and big hug then said hi to me and Brady. I turned to Brady like, “What’s this broad doing here?” and he shrugged.

The ginger hung out with us all night until the last bar when she said she was calling it a night. And to my horror, Hunter turned to Brady and said, “I’ll meet you back at your place.”

I said, “Don’t you think you should just come with us right now?”

Hunter looked at me and then to Brady and then Brady looked at me and said, “Come on, let’s go to the bar.”

“He’s going to cheat on Dom, isn’t he?” I said as we walked away.

“It isn’t any of our business,” Brady said.

“Yes it is. Are you just going to let that happen?” I continued.

Brady ignored me and walked into the next bar. I was so disgusted by it all that I couldn’t even finish my drink and just watched while Brady kept drinking and making friends.

Hunter came home at like 7:30 the next morning. I heard Brady get up to buzz him in then get back in bed. And being the nosy bitch that I am, I got up to greet Hunter.

“Wow, walk of shame, huh?” I said.

Hunter grinned and shrugged.

“I thought you were better,” I said, honestly.

“You’ll understand when you’re married and have kids. It isn’t easy,” he said.

“It isn’t easy to not cheat on your spouse?” I clarified. “You know, last I checked it wasn’t hard to not be a shitty person.”

Brady appeared next to me. “Reese. Stop.”

Hunter looked at Brady and rolled his eyes like I was being crazy or ridiculous. And maybe I was. I don’t know why I was so concerned about him and his relationship, but I just thought about how Dom must feel being at home taking care of the children alone while her husband is having sex with some random woman in Chicago.

Brady wasn’t happy with me for confronting Hunter even though Hunter deserved it so I was not invited to hang out with them for the rest of the weekend.

I really need to get ready for work tomorrow, but I have so much more to tell y’all. So look for another post later this week! Love you!!!!!

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are we swingers?

Scott is driving me nuts. He’s just the worst. He’s avoiding me at the office – literally running out of any room I enter. Mike had me working on some new stuff so Scott was basically having Monica do my job. I saw her running around one day freaking out about how much work she had to do. 

And I asked, “Well, what are you doing? Do you need help?”

And she showed me a printed out email that Scott had sent her, asking her to do things like pull together sales data for September, figure bonus eligibility, create a spreadsheet to keep track. My job that I do every month without having to be told, obviously.

But I wasn’t about to drag Monica into the beef me and Scott obviously had so I just let her do it. One day Scott had a meeting with some kitchen and bath people here in Chicago and afterwards he was texting Monica about how it went and what was discussed. He didn’t mention anything to me though which is weird because I’m pretty sure Mike wanted both of us to take over the new kitchen and bath division.

A while later though, Scott texted me, “Any plans this evening?” 

Like are you kidding me? I replied, “Nope.”

The only time I’ve talked to him recently is when he texts me asking me about my plans outside of work. Or to ask if I’ve been to a particular bar and did I like it? Such a dick.

So I really wanted to have fun over the weekend and things got a little cray. On Friday night Brady went to the Cubs game and I was really bored so I went to Kendra’s. She’s finally starting to show a little bit. I brought over Shake Shack and some cream I ordered on Amazon that is supposed to prevent stretch marks. I’m such a great friend.

I was telling her about ring shopping and showing her the pictures I took and John walked in.

“Is Brady finally ready to seal the deal?” he asked.

“I think so,” I replied.

John just shook his head and I turned to Kendra like, “What is that supposed to mean?”

She started talking about the rings again. John is so annoying. Even though he’s known me longer, I just feel like he doesn’t think I’m good enough for Brady. Which is funny because I don’t think he’s good enough for Kendra. 

Brady’s ex, Anna, was in Chicago visiting their friend Lindsey so the four of us plus Lindsey’s boyfriend met up for a late brunch on Saturday afternoon. Brady and I haven’t seen much of Lindsey these past few months since she got in a relationship. 

Do y’all remember the time she got mad at me because I was supposedly flirting with the guy she had a crush on? Anna wouldn’t stop talking to Lindsey’s boyfriend. She wanted to know his whole life story and then would ask him what his opinion was about everything we talked about. Like, he will state his opinion if he wants to share it!  She was annoying me and I kept looking at Brady and Lindsey to see if they were offended and annoyed too, but they didn’t seem to notice or care.

After brunch, everyone came over to continue drinking. Brady and Lindsey were running the Chicago Marathon on Sunday so we decided to just have a couple drinks and not get too crazy. I thought Anna was kind of innocent and lame, but I knew when she asked what we had besides champagne to drink that she was my kind of girl. I brought her to the kitchen to show her the options and she suggested tequila shots. I suddenly loved her.

We stood at the counter talking for a little bit. She told me about her job. She does medical research at some lab and mentioned having to wear a lab coat and goggles and shoe covers. I was picturing that 90’s cartoon, Dexter’s Laboratory.
“But they let me wear jeans so it’s fine,” she shrugged.

She gestured to her outfit which consisted of tight designer jeans that were so low cut that a sliver of her pale white tummy was showing. And she actually has a cute little shape. Whenever I’ve seen her previously she’s wearing oversized sweaters or shift dresses so I had no idea that she had a waist and a butt. 

So Anna annoyed me a lot less after we hung out taking shots in the kitchen. She’s like Brady in that she uses words no one else ever uses, but she’s funny in a smart person kind of way. And she laughed at all my jokes so I figured I would let her stick around. We made drinks and headed back to the living room.

When we got back to the group, Lindsey and her boyfriend were heading out. I figured Anna would leave with her friends, but she stayed.

“Do you have any-” Anna asked Brady and I assume she must have made some sort of hand gesture, but I missed it by the time I looked at her.

I figured she was asking about weed and my suspicion was confirmed when Brady pulled out his little empty book that he keeps all his smoking supplies in.
So we smoked for literally two hours straight. And then we were just sitting there slumped on the couch not talking. Eventually, I fell over onto their laps and announced that I was starving.

“Yeah, Brady, do you have anything to eat?” Anna asked.

I looked up at them and he shrugged. He got up so then I was just laying on Anna’s lap. I recently colored my hair and she started touching it.

“I literally have the worst hair ever. Your hair is nice,” she said.

“Your hair isn’t bad,” I said truthfully. It’s obviously that she uses box dye and never gets salon blowouts or treatments, but she doesn’t need to because it has a nice natural wave.

Anna ran her hands through my hair until Brady got back with a Tupperware of fruit and the bottle of tequila we left out – clearly aware of where this party was going and trying to speed it up. 

“This is the only snack we have right now. Or I could make some chicken if you want,” he said.

Anna took the Tupperware from him and started eating pieces of pineapple and blueberries.

“Reese, do you want a strawberry?” she asked and I nodded. She pulled a whole strawberry out and put it in my mouth for me to bite. And then she looked at Brady, shrugged and giggled and then finished the strawberry herself. 

I wish y’all knew this girl and how out of character it seemed for her to be sexy like that. Like she’s a scientist. I could never even picture her and Brady having sex. I figured they never did.

I watched as she fed my boyfriend a pineapple and surprisingly I felt okay about it. Like, okay. We can have some fun here.

Anna continued feeding us and it got increasingly more erotic. I sat up and it just felt like Anna and I were putting on a show for Brady. We were sucking each other’s fingers and purposely being messy and ridiculous, but laughing the entire time.

“Okay, time for another shot,” I said eventually.

I jumped up to get shot glasses and when I got back, Brady and Anna had made a spot for me to sit in between them. 

After we took the shot, I threw my arms around Brady’s neck and we started making out. We pulled away and I looked at Anna to see her reaction. She was just watching us innocently. And then she smiled at me and I did the only thing that made sense. I leaned in to kiss her.

I can’t remember the exact details of how it happened, but Anna’s shirt was the first to come off. She wasn’t wearing a bra, but didn’t need to because she has the smallest tits I’ve ever seen. I would absolutely get my boobs done if I were her. 

“Take off your shirt, Brady,” she instructed and he did exactly as told. And then they leaned over me and started kissing.

Their make out sesh didn’t last very long at all and when they pulled away, Anna straddled me and started kissing me again. I really underestimated her. She’s obviously into freaky shit, but hid it well. She started giggling while kissing me so I pulled away and she took that as a cue to take off my shirt. I was wearing a bra though and she didn’t try to take that off.
Anna looked back at Brady and he glanced at her and then leaned down to me.

“I love you,” he said before kissing me and kissing my neck. It was weird. It was like he wanted me to know that he still loved me even though he was making out with his ex girlfriend. Like, “Yeah, this is fun and I’m not gonna say no, but I love you and you’re still the girl I’m going to marry.”

Brady moved from my neck to Anna’s neck and made his way down to her (nonexistent) tits and tummy. While he was kissing her, he had both hands on my chest, groping me. I guess he needed to use his imagination since she had nothing to work with. Honest, not mean.

Anna climbed off me and pushed Brady back on the couch. She leaned down in front of him and started undoing his pants. And Brady was sitting there with his mouth open like it was the best thing that has happened to him. That’s where I had to draw the line. This broad was not going to suck MY boyfriend’s dick with me right there. She wasn’t even allowed look at it.

I got up and walked to the bedroom, grabbing Brady’s hand on the way. They followed me to the bedroom and while Brady and I got in the bed, Anna took her pants off. She got on top of Brady while he and I made out. This lasted maybe another half an hour (all of us making out and occasionally touching each other) until we passed out. I rolled over and fell asleep first.

We had to wake up super, super early so Brady and Lindsey could meet for the marathon and Anna was already gone. I couldn’t help wondering what happened after I fell asleep.

“Oh my God,” I groaned as the memories of the previous night started coming back to me. “What did we do?”

Brady had just gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed. He looked like shit.

“That was completely not my idea,” he replied. 

“What happened after I fell asleep? Did you do stuff with her?” I asked suspiciously.

“No. I can’t remember falling asleep. She jumped up in the middle of the night and left.”

Brady left to meet up with Lindsey and I got up to meet with Kendra to get breakfast before we went to cheer for Brady and John. I ate twice as much as Kendra which is kind of embarrassing because she is pregnant. But whatever.

Apparently Brady spent the first hour of the race stopping every few minutes to vomit because he was so hungover. Brady is hardly ever hungover so I felt bad for him. It’s just not a good idea to get high and drunk and have a threesome the night before running 26 miles.

Later on in the day, we met up for food and drinks with Kendra, John, Lindsey, her boyfriend and Anna. I had to keep my scarf on during the entire meal because I had hickeys all over my neck. Remnants from our night of debauchery.

I have no regrets though. It was fun and I have no hard feelings toward Anna. However, I do think I’ll be a bit more interested to read the texts and emails that Brady and Anna exchange now. Just because I’m curious. I wonder how she feels about all of it. Brady and I haven’t mentioned it since Sunday morning. 

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guilt trip successful.

Brady and I went ring shopping. He mentioned going so I found a jeweler, made an appointment and sent him a Google calendar invite with all the details. We just needed to go get ideas though because apparently Brady’s family has their own jeweler. Like I just want a huge diamond in a vintage setting, is that so much to ask for? I want it to look like a 6 generation family heirloom even if it isn’t, you know? Or I’ll take a sleek modern platinum band with a large emerald cut center stone. I’m not picky.

Anyway, I was impressed with the questions Brady thought to ask. Not just, “How much?” but also things like, “Does the shape of the diamond affect the value?” and “Is it typical to upgrade the ring after a certain timeframe?” He’s so cute.

There were two rings that I fell in love with. One was like I mentioned before: emerald cut center with two smaller diamonds flanking it with an intricate band. It was seriously so beautiful, but almost too much for my little finger. The diamond was huge, but I feel like with a smaller, more wearable diamond it would just lose the effect. The second one was a basic cushion cut with a halo and a thin, plain band. I’m kind of over the whole halo thing everyone is doing now. They’re gorgeous, but I feel like it’s so unoriginal and so uninspiring at this point.

On our way home, I reminded Brady of all my proposal requirements. 1. Ask my dad/parents obviously. 2. Make sure someone is there to document the entire thing. 3. It can’t be done at our house. 4. I must have a fresh manicure at the time of proposal. Brady laughed and said he was well aware of my requirements. Because I’ve told him a dozen times.

A few of us from the office had to make a quick trip to New York at the beginning of the week. The group included Mike, his assistant, Scott and me along with the top person from my sales team and from Monica’s team. I finally cornered Scott about how he’s been treating me (like a child) and how I felt that I was not going anywhere with this company or my career and that my responsibilities are being taken from me. So he started easing up on me. 

I’m not sure what has gotten into me, but as soon as I landed on Monday morning, I texted Brady’s mom and let her know that I was in the city for a couple of days. And would they be around? Brady’s parents finally purchased a place in the Upper East Side, but are doing some renovations so still staying in a hotel when they’re there.

She responded and we made plans to get lunch on Tuesday before my flight. And I felt weird about it (why would I even text her?!) so I didn’t tell Brady right away.

Our first stop in New York was a kitchen and bath showroom in Brooklyn. We don’t specialize in kitchen and bath (beyond a customized backsplash or countertop or something), but Mike thinks it’s a huge growth opportunity. They took us on a mini tour first and Mike went on a more extensive tour while the rest of us sat in the waiting area drinking coffee and tea. Scott wouldn’t sit though because he was so concerned about what Mike was doing so the rest of us gossiped.

I was listening to a story about Monica taking a three hour lunch break when we all heard Mike shout, “Reese, can I get you over here for a minute?”

I looked around like, “Who, me?” because why would Mike need me of all people?

For an opinion, apparently.

“How do you think something like this would reasonate with our customers?” he asked me.

They were standing at a little bathroom set up. It was minimalistic and industrial, but was obviously country barn inspired with the dark, dark hardwood floors, stand up tub and angular pedestal sink with pipe-like legs. I thought about our customers – always requesting more mirrors, more details, more glitz. Lots of them were minimalists, but still wanted $18,000 Spanish chandeliers.

“You know,” I started. I couldn’t offend all these kitchen and bath people. “Our customers love modern with vintage inspiration. So good hardware and knobs, subway tile, intricate wallpaper…”

They all nodded.

“So I think certain elements of this we could work with, but this whole design wouldn’t work for our customers,” I said.

And after I gave them that piece of advice, they wanted me to finish the tour with them so I could tell them what else would work with our clientele. I felt like an expert which I guess to them, I was. We met back up the team in the waiting area and Scott was practically jumping out of his pants with anticipation.

As we were exiting the showroom, Mike said, “Scott, I want you and Reese to spearhead this operation. She will get you up to speed on what we talked about and the ideas we brainstormed.”

Scott was all like, “Of course, Mike. I can’t wait to hear about it and get started,” and I couldn’t help rolling my eyes.

Mike interrupted him and said, “Is anyone else starving? I can’t survive on just three cups of coffee.”

I kind of felt bad for Scott because he really was super excited and Mike dismissed him. So I smiled at him and he gave me this strange look.

Mike took us to lunch even though we had a lunch meeting later in the afternoon. And since we’d already eaten and weren’t hungry, we just drank wine at the meeting. I was a little surprised by how much Mike was trying to include me in everything. Asking for my opinion and saying, “Reese, did you get that? We will have to discuss it more when we get back to Chicago.” It was almost like I’d had that career conversation with him and not with Scott.

Apparently Scott noticed too though. Mike went back to Jersey for the night and the rest of us headed back to the hotel in Manhattan. Scott and I ended up a few feet behind the group and he said, “Mike was nice today, huh? He seems to really be including you. I’m sure he sees the potential in you like I do.”

“Yeah,” was all I could think to say.

“Unless… You think it’s something else?” Scott said.

“Hmm?” I said, looking at him confused.

“I mean, I don’t know.” Scott shrugged with his hands in his pockets. “He’s told me he’s having marriage problems. Perhaps, you know, he’s crushing on someone in the office.”

I was so caught off guard and disgusted by what Scott said. Did he really think Mike would only want to include me in things because he had a crush on me? Like fuck you. And last I checked, Scott was the one who was claiming marriage problems and then inappropriately inviting me out for drinks outside of work.

I laughed and then I stormed off because I didn’t want to cause a scene. I half expected Scott to text me and apologize or invite me to the hotel bar or something, but I didn’t hear from him all night. I was so pissed off that I had to call Brady to vent.

“I think your best – and probably only – option would be to prove to Scott that there’s a reason Mike wants your input. And it’s not just because you’re incredibly hot,” Brady said. 

And he was so right. So the next morning I got up and chugged a 20 oz Red Bull, preparing to kill it.

“Sleep well?” Scott asked when I walked down to where we were meeting in the hotel lobby.

“Yep,” I said, curtly.

“Great. So our agenda is pretty packed today, but I thought I’d take everyone to my favorite Italian restaurant for lunch. It’s phenomenal, the best Italian food outside of Italy,” Scott said.

“I didn’t plan on spending my lunch break with y’all so I already have plans with my boyfriend’s parents,” I said, deliberately not apologizing or sounding apologetic.

“Oh! Of course. I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you,” he said.

I walked away. I ignored Scott for the rest of the morning which only made him try to get me to talk to him more. Whenever he would come stand near me, I would walk away and reply, “Yeah,” to whatever he said. I know it was childish and petty, but it was that or throw a tantrum which I’m not above doing. Just not in front of Mike.

Scott did remind me of my lunch date with Brady’s parents though. He walked up next to me and asked what time I was meeting them and where and I looked down at my watch and realized I should get going. Which sucked because Mike was about to start splitting up the work for when we got back to Chicago. I excused myself and Scott said, “She’s got plans with her future in-laws,” and smirked at me. I rolled my eyes at him.

Mike looked surprised and almost offended that I was splitting from the group, but on my way to the restaurant he actually texted me saying, “Do you need me to send a car to pick you up?”

Mike has only texted me a couple times. But they were group texts and obviously written by his assistant. So it was weird as fuck. But I texted him back saying that I’d meet them at the airport.

Brady’s mom was waiting for me at the restaurant. Just his mom. She was sitting there looking displeased wearing a navy cowl neck top and her hair pulled back.

“Oh, hello,” she greeted me, not sounding particularly happy to see me. But she still stood up and hugged me.

I was really happy to be in work mode, wearing the most modest black shift dress and pumps. I always feel so much taller than her when I wear heels.

“So what brings you to the city?” she asked.

I told her about work and or group, leaving out the Scott drama obviously. Like I said, I was in work mode so I sounded really no nonsense and articulate and like, not stupid. I think it surprised her. And so she was actually interested in what I said and we had an intelligent conversation about the industry.

And then, abruptly, she asked, “When do you and Brady plan on coming to Massachusetts to meet with our pastor?”

It caught me so off guard. I just looked at her.

“I’ve been telling him, just find a weekend when neither of you have plans. Surely you can skip partying for one weekend, can’t you?”

So much for bonding.

“Of course we can,” I said.

“I really wish Brady would visit home more. It’s not like Hunter can with the babies and all… So if Brady could… or would, rather. He’s completely capable,” she said.

I sensed she was trying to guilt trip me into guilt tripping him so I said, “Well, he has been working a lot lately. Even on the weekends.”

She gave me a look like, “Did I ask for your input?”

“And if he plans on taking up a career that’s going to require more from him, he needs to take advantage of his free time now. We won’t be around forever. You understand that, don’t you darling?”

“I’ll talk to him,” I responded. Guilt trip successful.

“How’s your mother?” Brady’s mom asked.

“She’s doing well. I just saw my parents last weekend,” I said, making a point to inform her that I still go back and visit home.

“Are she and your father still living separately?” Brady’s mom had pulled out her phone and glasses and wasn’t looking at me. Her ring caught my eye. Huge diamond, unique setting and obviously had been upgraded at some point.

I told my mom not to tell Brady’s mom about she and my dad’s issues so I was instantly annoyed with her. I started wondering just how much my mom had told.

“Um, temporarily yes. I’m sure they’ll figure something out,” I said.

“What exactly is the problem?” she pried.

“I don’t know. It’s not really my business to talk about.”

Brady’s mom sat her phone down and took off her glasses. “Well, she did agree that you and Brady should get married in Massachusetts. We have a more solid church background and obviously our pastor will need to officiate. That is, if you and Brady still plan to get married?”

Brady and I are not getting married in Massachusetts. That was never a part of any plan. Poor thing. Brady and I are leaning more and more towards a destination wedding that no one is invited to. 

I smiled and said, “Okay.”

When I left the restaurant, Brady had called me and texted me asking how it went.

“Your mom wants you to visit home more. She almost started crying at the table because she misses you,” I replied.

Then I called my mom.

“Hi babe!” she answered.

“Mom, why did you tell Brady’s mom about you and Dad? Now she thinks I’m from some broken home,” I said.

“I didn’t tell her anything about me and Dad. Do you think I want that woman judging me?” my mom said and I believed her. She feels the same way about Brady’s mom that I do.

Which meant the only other person who could have told her is Brady. He barely even talks to his mom so why would he share my family’s business with her?

I texted him, “Why would you tell your mom about my parents? Now she’s never going to let us get married.”

He didn’t text me back right away so I called an Uber to take me to the airport. I fell asleep on our flight back to Chicago and proceeded to have a sick dream about going on a picnic with Scott and then making out all over the picnic blanket. Brain, can you stop? I’m not attracted to Scott whatsoever, but in that dream I was.

Brady denied telling his mom anything and suggested that she came to the conclusion herself.

“She probably didn’t even know if it was true until you confirmed it,” Brady said.

“Is she really manipulative like that?” I asked.

And he said, “Yeah.”

Bitch.

Brady’s mom claimed that Hunter was too busy with his kids and wife to visit, but he visited over the weekend. They partied really hard (stayed out until 4 AM on both Friday and Saturday night), but hung out with me during the day. Hunter needed to vent about how hard having two babies is and how hard it is to keep his wife happy now. While I wanted to be supportive, I wanted to tell him to shut up because that’s going to be me and Brady’s life in just a couple years. 

Hunter is the kind of guy that every girl lusts over (I mean, he’s 6’3 with a beard and a manbun) so women always stare at him when he’s out in public. But I was really surprised and insulted when a girl at the grocery store started flirting with him and he flirted back. I get that Dom is probably not the most pleasant wife to have, but he still has to be faithful to her.

This beautiful petite redhead came up to Hunter and asked him about almond milk and then proceeded to preach her vegan beliefs. Brady and I continued on with our shopping figuring Hunter would catch up with us, but by the time we were done, he still hadn’t. And we found him still by the almond milk talking to the ginger girl. Their body language had changed: she had one hand on her hip and one in her hair while he was standing with his arms crossed and feet apart like a bouncer or something.

“What the fuck are they talking about?” I asked and Brady shrugged.

I thought I needed to go over and mention Hunter’s wife (they don’t wear rings, mind you), but before I could, Brady said, “Hey Hunter, we are headed out.”

So who knows if Hunter met up with the beautiful redhead while they were out until 4 AM that night.

Brady and I are going to Arizona to see some of my friends later this month. I’m sure it’s going to be a mistake (especially since I’m not drinking), but we will see. I love Arizona besides all the drama.

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