i definitely have him fooled.

When I suggested that we stay inside and smoke and fuck all weekend I was kind of kidding. But that’s pretty much what we did. On Friday night I got tacos and tequila and went to Brady’s. I literally took off all my clothes and got in bed with a plate of tacos. I can’t believe that’s what my life has become. How revolting.

When we woke up on Saturday morning Brady wanted to go for a run. I pretended I didn’t have any shoes to run in (but I did from our last run) and used that as an excuse not to go.

“They’re right here,” Brady said and reached under the bed to pick one of my Roshes up. I could tell by his voice that he never believed my excuse. 

“UGHHHHH,” I groaned so loudly that Chris probably thought I was being tortured. “This is so fucking stupid. It’s too cold to be running. We are going to catch pneumonia and die.”

Brady looked at me, unamused. “You don’t have to go.”

I felt like a bitch so I put on my brightest smile. “Just kidding! Let me just get ready.”

So even though it was the last thing on Earth I wanted to do, I rolled out of bed and got dressed in Lululemon Wunder Under pants, a Nike half zip, my Patagonia, crew socks and a hat. 

I should have stayed home. I wasn’t motivated to run and didn’t even try to keep up with Brady once I got tired. Plus I was dressed in so many layers with the hat and stuff on that after a while I got hot.

“I’m hot,” I whined, slowing down until I was walking. I ripped the stupid hat off and unzipped my jacket.

“Come on, we are almost finished.” Brady slowed down and tried to kind of push me to keep going.

“Ughhhhhhhhhhh,” I whined super dramatically. I don’t see how people actually enjoy running. “Just leave me here. I’ll find my way home.”

Brady stopped running and walked with me the rest of the way. I know I’m such a brat, but I honestly think he was secretly a little happy about my tantrum because he didn’t have to pretend to want to run.

When we got home, I called the shower first and took a quick, forty five minute shower then started on breakfast while Brady showered. After we ate waffles we got back in bed. We fooled around (I honestly think I could survive on foreplay alone, anyone else?), napped then watched tv. Later on in the evening, Carly and one of Chris’s friends came over and we all hung out in the basement. While we were all talking, I found out that Carly and Chris have not met each other’s parents. I was kind of surprised because they’re both from around here so it would be so easy for everyone to meet. I made a mental note to ask Carly about it when we are alone. 

We smoked and I actually took more than like one or two hits from the bong. And at first I thought it was too much and that I had overdosed and was going to die. I sat there on the verge of tears because I thought these were the last moments of my life. Then the feeling passed and I felt fine. We all sat there for a long time then me and Brady went outside to sit on the patio. It was pretty nice out (high 30s in January feels like summer) and we brought out cheddar popcorn, marshmallows, craisins, and flour tortillas to snack on. Super gross.

We started talking about Hunter and how Brady still hasn’t heard from him.

“I haven’t talked to my brother in almost three months. It’s really fucked up,” Brady said and I felt so awful. I really wished there was something I could do.

“I’m sorry. We should go to San Francisco and find him!” I said.

Brady kind of laughed, but I was being serious. “No. He is completely capable of using the phone to contact me.”

“But what if he’s hurt or something? That Dom girl seems a bit off. What if she killed him?” There. I said it.

“Reese,” he said, pulling me on his lap. “I’m sure it’s fine. He’s probably just enjoying life as a newlywed.”

“Oh.” I hadn’t thought that maybe Hunter was simply in wedded bliss. He is probably totally fine and trying to impregnate his little troll of a wife. If I wasn’t so high I would’ve been kind of embarrassed about bringing up such a ridiculous scenario. Oh well. “Are you going to stop talking to your family after we get married too?”

“I wish I could stop talking to my parents now. Honestly, fuck them.”

“Brady!” I exclaimed, taken aback. “That’s awful.”

“They aren’t as nice as you think,” he said and I don’t even think they’re nice. “I would be fine with never speaking to them again.”

“They are your parents,” I said, putting my hands on either side of his face.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” he said, smiling up at me. “They do suck though.”

Then he started talking about how supportive my parents are and how they’ll obviously love me unconditionally. I was like, “Won’t your parents love you unconditionally too?”

And he said, “No.”

Which is really sad. I wasn’t sure how to make him feel better except saying that I would. Naturally we spent the next three hours talking about how much we love each other. Well, I think it was closer to ten or fifteen minutes, but still. It felt like a long time.

We went inside and took an entire jar of peanut butter in the bed with us. We passed spoonfuls back and forth while discussing how peanut butter is made.
 
I said, “Don’t they just melt a bunch of peanuts and then add butter and stuff?”

Brady started laughing uncontrollably so I did too. Now that I think about it, it did sound really dumb, but I sure thought it made sense at the time.

“I don’t think peanuts will just melt,” Brady said.

“Ohhhh.” I probably looked and sounded like such a stoner.

After we finished the entire jar of crunchy peanut butter we fell asleep. I didn’t get out of bed at all on Sunday. I think I had a hangover from all the food we ate. Honestly, I don’t mind smoking, but I can’t deal with the munchies it gives me. It’s disgusting and it’s unacceptable.

On Monday Andrew was in Chicago. We had conference calls all morning then went to lunch to discuss my “progress.” Ugh. I just knew he was going to tell me I sucked and needed to try harder or I would be fired. So we went to this deli and got sandwiches and Andrew asked how my weekend was. I gave him a really, really vague overview of my weekend (I went for a run and I ate a lot) and he asked what I like to do for fun. I hate that question. I made up some bullshit about how I like to work out (lolllllllll) and cook (hahaha).

Then Andrew was like, “What do you think you’re good at?”

This caught me off guard. “Um, like at work or in life?”

“Both. Either one.”

“I think I manage my time well,” I said after a moment.

“Yeah,” Andrew said, nodding. “I agree. Something I’ve noticed about you is that you always seem to use your time effectively. You hit the ground running when you come in and you’re all about your business. I admire that.”

I smiled and nodded. I definitely have him fooled.

“And you’re very assertive. I think that’s what this region was missing. I don’t think I’ll ever have to worry about things around here with you in charge. You aren’t hesitant about making decisions that will be best for the business.”

It was really weird, but Andrew was actually telling me that I am doing a good job and he is impressed and stuff. I wasn’t expecting that, but it definitely put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. And it actually made me want to work harder to show Andrew that he has a reason to be impressed with me.

He asked what I think I need to work on and without hesitating I said, “Communicating.”

Andrew’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

I explained to him how I sometimes have trouble expressing myself and how I bottle things up. He seemed really really surprised so maybe I’m not like that at work. Either way, he told me not to ever feel like I can’t discuss anything with him.

And finally Andrew asked what he could do to help me succeed in my position. I knew it was my time to suck up and kiss ass (which is completely necessary sometimes) so I said something along the lines of, “I think you’re great. You’re inspirational and I love that you push me and challenge me. I can tell you are going to be a great mentor.”

“Wow, thanks Reese!” Andrew beamed. “But seriously, don’t be afraid to come to me with any concerns. I’m here to help you, not scare you.” 

Lies.

After work I stopped by Kendra’s. When I got there I immediately noticed a pair of (ugly) men’s boots on her welcome mat and asked if John was there. She looked down at the boots and said no without offering an explanation or anything.

“Seriously, I don’t care if he is. Or if you’re talking to slash seeing him. I’m in no position to judge you even though I think he’s a useless prick,” I said.

“I’m so glad I have your permission to talk to him,” she said rolling her eyes.

So obviously, John is still a touchy subject.

Anyway, I can’t stop thinking about what Brady said about his parents. I don’t know if he was just being dramatic because he was under the influence, but it’s just so sad. I can’t imagine feeling like I would be okay never speaking to my parents again. I just feel really bad for him and I hope he gets to talk to Hunter soon because I can tell that’s really bothering him. And I mean, if he doesn’t talk to his parents and Hunter is AWOL, who else does he really have?

Standard

if that tickles your pickle.

Tennessee was okay. Wednesday was the soft opening event so on Tuesday we spent the entire day making sure the store was ready for all the people who were invited. It really showed me how much I still don’t know about everything. Like there was a company installing the internet and phones and they asked the manager if they could cut a small hole in a wall to run the wires. She then asked me if that would be okay. And obviously I had no idea. I ended up telling the guys that they could as long as they promised it would be small and not noticeable.

So for most of the day I just answered people’s questions and granting approval to do things. I was basically just there to make sure everything was running smoothly. Everything seemed to be under control so I spent the majority of the day putting things in my shopping cart on revolveclothing.com. We called it a day around 5:30 or 6. Since I had nothing better to do, I invited the manager and store assistants to dinner at my hotel. I thought it would be a nice gesture from me (even though I charged it all to my company card) plus Andrew told me I should try to get to know my employees. 

Wednesday was busy. We had a really good turn out for the invite only soft opening so good in fact that the internet went down so for a little while we couldn’t accept any credit cards. The manager ran to me and asked what we should do and I had no idea either. So I just found the business card the internet installation guys gave me and called them. I had to stay on the phone for like two hours with them trying to figure it out which is really annoying and something I kind of feel like I’m too important to be doing.

Andrew called me in the morning and asked me to keep him in the loop so I did just that. I literally texted him after every sale and sent him pictures of the store filled with people (but didn’t tell him about the mild glitch with the internet). Honestly, I was just trying to annoy him like he annoys me and at first he was excited and told me to keep it up, then he stopped responding lol.

I left Tennessee on Wednesday evening and made it home in time to meet Kendra for happy hour. I got cheese fries and an extra dry martini. We had so much to talk about especially my new job. She told me that I needed to take it more seriously and I can’t just get away with doing nothing because I don’t have Diana there to back me up. I was a little offended by that because Diana was never like a crutch for me.

To change the subject I said, “I heard John spent the night with you the other night.”

Kendra’s mouth twitched and she didn’t say anything for a moment. I sipped my ‘tini.

“Carly told you that?” she finally asked.

“As a matter of fact, she did. Why didn’t you want me to know?” I said.

“Do you have nothing better to talk about?” Kendra huffed, crossing her arms. “Y’all are annoying.”

“You’re annoying!” I said back automatically then felt bad. “Just kidding. What did you and John talk about?”

“I’m not fucking telling you. So you can go back and tell Carly and the two of you can talk about it?”

“Kendra,” I said in my most mature voice.

“I don’t want to talk about this. Where’s the waitress?”

And she literally refused to talk about John at all for the rest of the evening. 

After that I went to Brady’s. He was working when I got there and was being really quiet. I asked how he was and how work was going and etc and he kept giving me short, one word answers. And then I got annoyed with him and stomped to his room. Fine. If he wanted to be antisocial and weird then whatever. Fifteen minutes later, Brady came to his room.

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be rude, I’m just really tired,” he said.

I shrugged. “Why?”

“I’ve been working a lot more than usual recently. It’s draining.” He laid down on the bed next to me with his clothes and shoes still on.

Oh yeah. He has been working late like every single day. I’ve been so busy worrying about myself that I didn’t even notice. I suddenly had a realization: this was Kendra and John’s exact downfall. I’m such a self centered bitch sometimes. 

“Is everything okay? Why are you working so much?” I asked.

“Everything is fine. I’m just picking up someone else’s work for the time being and it kind of sucks,” Brady said. He sat up and started pulling his clothes off.
 
I’ve never heard Brady complain about work ever. I rarely hear him complain about anything. He’s usually so optimistic. So I knew this really must suck. 

“Oh. How long do you have to do that?” I asked.

“I don’t know. It’s fine.”

Brady got up and changed silently. I didn’t like him like this and needed to cheer him up as soon as possible.

“Wanna do something fun this weekend?” I asked excitedly when he came back to the bed.

“Mmhm. Like what?” He nuzzled my neck.

“Well, I don’t know. Whatever you want. We could stay here and smoke and fuck all weekend if that tickles your pickle,” I said.

Brady laughed. And then literally, three minutes later he was asleep.

I worked from home on Thursday. I had some reports to get to Andrew by the end of the day plus we had a big conference call with all of the sales directors, Andrew and his colleagues,  and the New York bigwigs.

Right in the middle of the conference call, I got a text from Carly that said, “Are you fucking kidding me, Reese?”

And I replied, “What?”

“You told Kendra what I said YOU’RE SUCH A FUCKING BITCH I’M NEVER TELLING YOU ANYTHING AGAIN YOU’RE HONESTLY THE WORST FRIEND EVER.”

“Carly.” was all I said back. Obviously she was being a little bit ridiculous and I needed to reel her back in.

“Reese, I told you not to tell her. I’m very pissed at you right now.”

“I was drunk.” This wasn’t 100% true.

“She’s so mad lol. What should I do?”

“She’ll be fine. Honestly, we all knew this was coming. I don’t even know why she’s trying to hide it. Over it. Wanna get drunk this weekend?”

At this point, I heard Andrew say, “Thoughts on that, Reese? You’re being awfully quiet.”

FUCK. 

I unmuted my phone and said, “Umm, can you actually repeat what you just said? I missed it because I was taking notes.”

“Sure!” Andrew said really cheerfully and then repeated his question. I managed to ramble a pretty decent answer. Andrew seemed impressed and took back over the conversation. 

I didn’t text Carly back until after the call was over. Andrew texted me afterwards too saying, “Nice job on the call today! Once you have a better grasp on things, I want you to participate more.” Compliments from Andrew are so few and far between that the text boosted my mood for the entire day.

I haven’t really talked to Kendra since Wednesday. I know the mature, best friendly thing to do would be to call and her let her know that I support her no matter what she decides to do with John. But I’m just like, no, fuck that. How many times has she inserted her opinion about my life in where it was unwanted and then made me feel like shit for not doing what she says? I just can’t bring myself to be the bigger person yet.

Standard

longest week ever.

I flew to Tennessee on Tuesday morning to meet Andrew at the new store. We were going on a four day tour of all the stores I would be taking over so I could meet everyone. Andrew was nice enough to pick me up from the airport in his rental and we loaded my bags in. On the car ride there, Andrew asked how I was adjusting to the new job. I told him I was fine but there was a lot that I still needed to learn and adapt to. He agreed and said I would get it over time. Then he was like, “But other than that, how are you?”

I assumed this meant like generally in life so I again said that I’m fine and glad to get out of the Chicago cold and etc. I wasn’t about to go into detail about my personal life with Andrew because last time I did that, he mocked me for it.

But then he was like, “What does your boyfriend do?”

“Um, he’s a pharmacist,” I said.

“Nice! So you’ve got a smart one.”

“I guess you could say that.”

“Long term relationship?”

“Mmmmm,” I started. I really, really didn’t want to get into this with Andrew. I was being nice enough by answering his questions, but I just don’t want him knowing too much about my personal life.

Luckily for me, his cell phone rang and he answered it. From the sounds of it, it was his boss who wanted to talk sales and numbers and stuff. Then he was all like, “I have Reese here. She says hello and she’s so excited to visit the new store.”

I didn’t say any of that at all, but whatever.

We went straight from the airport to the store which was still a couple days away from the grand opening. I met the manager, who I’d interviewed over the phone and a few of the other employees who were all working on merchandising the store. Andrew and I went to the back office to work for a couple of hours. He wanted to go over sales reports and talk about stuff like average dollar sale, sales per hour, average unit retail, margin, etc. We didn’t talk about a lot of that at my old job, but I jotted down a ton of notes to make sure I was getting it.

We stepped out to grab a quick lunch where we continued to talk about numbers and sales. It was kind of exhausting having to use my brain that much. He kept asking questions like, “So the sales projection for the quarter for this store is $x, how much should each sales person be responsible for?” And, “If we want an average of $x spent per transaction, how many units would that be?”

Like I don’t fucking know. I suck at math. When we got back to the store, we helped set up the merchandise and then we did a store walk through. I pulled out the special Kate Spade notebook I got just for work and started taking notes. We got to a particular shelf that had some tote bags, picture frames, bookends, and other knick knacks in it.

“Now Reese, after reading those store documents and what we’ve talked about, what do you see wrong with this presentation?” Andrew asked me.

“Um.” I felt put on the spot and suddenly couldn’t think of anything I’d read about. “Well, I think it looks nice. Is the color story off?”

Andrew stared at me blankly. “Uh, no.”

“Okay, well it seems kind of odd for the totes to be displayed with the picture frames and stuff. Maybe we could put something else here.”

“Reese, why don’t you go back to the office and actually read the manuals I gave you?” Andrew said, sounding exasperated. “There’s some stuff I really need you to know in there.”

“Okay,” I said and just stood there. Andrew and the manager just stared at me and I realized that he was serious.

I spun around and marched back to the office. And then, y’all won’t believe this, but I just started bawling. I’m not used to sucking at my job like that and I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. But just as quickly as I started crying, I stopped. I needed to figure this out. I pulled my work binder out of my bag and started skimming until I found out exactly what was wrong with the presentation. The picture frames and tote bags were a part of the company’s inhouse brand while the bookends were from an outside designer. The inhouse brand should never be displayed with other brands. Duh. No wonder Andrew yelled at me. That was an easy one. 

I pulled myself back together and walked back out there, ready to prove that I wasn’t an idiot. Andrew and a really short girl were trying to lift a shelf and she was on her tip toes about to  the drop it.

“Reese, can we get a hand over here?” Andrew called and I rushed over to avert the impending disaster.

So we spent the next four hours or so doing manual labor around the store. By the time we got to our hotel, I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I got to my room, dropped my things by the door, and collapsed face first onto the bed. And then I cried, again. What a shitty day. If this was how it was going to be then I wasn’t cut out for it and I needed to talk to Diana about getting my old job back. After I showered and got ready for bed, I even looked up flights to go back to Chicago on Wednesday.

But after a moment, I realized how ridiculous I was being. I could do this. I just needed to take it more seriously. I could tell that once I was trained and ready to take over the stores on my own, I would really like it.

When I woke up I had a text from Brady letting me know that he missed me. I hadn’t even had time to think about how much I missed him too. While I quickly got ready to take on the day, I realized how much I was dreading it. The day’s itinerary was: go back to the new store for a few hours, drop Andrew’s rental off then fly to the next store to visit. I was annoyed and tired just thinking about it.

I grabbed my phone and headed downstairs to grab a quick bite from the complimentary breakfast buffet. On my way out the door, I texted Brady, “I need to talk to you.”

To my surprise, he called me a few minutes later.

“Hi,” I said solemnly.

“Hey. Is everything okay?” he asked.

I realized that my choice of words and now solemn voice probably made it sound like something bad had happened and that’s why he called so quickly.

“It’s fine,” I said. “I’m just so fucking over this. Andrew is a complete asshole and goes out of his way to make me look bad.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?”

“He like expects me to know everything already. Yesterday he asked me this question in front of everyone and when I didn’t know it, he made me feel like shit about it. Like, dude. I just started. And the way he talks to me is just so degrading. He’s unprofessional and he’s inconsiderate and I really just want to come home!”

I stopped dead in my tracks because I’d arrived at the breakfast buffet and Andrew was sitting right by the door. And he was looking at me. Shit. Did he hear me? He smiled and waved so I assumed he didn’t.

“Anyway, how are you?” I said quickly into the phone. “Why aren’t you at work?”

“I am at work,” Brady answered. “But I stepped out to call you. Your message worried me.”

Oops.

I apologized for making him worry and told him that I would let him get back to work. He said it was okay and then he was like, “Don’t allow him to intimidate you, Reese. You’re much stronger than that.”

And that was the only pep talk I needed. Before we hung up, Brady said, “I love you,” and I felt weird saying it back since Andrew was still right there.

So I just said, “You too.” I hope that doesn’t make me a bitch.

Anyway, I had a much better day on Wednesday. I didn’t let Andrew intimidate me and I asked a ton of questions and took notes and felt like I was starting to grasp things. When we did the store walk through at the second store, I was even pointing out things that were out of place. And Andrew was being nicer.

On Wednesday afternoon, we got a rental car and drove about forty minutes to the third store and did a short walk through. Then we checked into our hotel and were flying to the next store in the morning. Thursday we flew to the next store, walked through it, visited a third party vendor, worked on some paperwork at a coffee shop then we flew to the city of the final store. When we got there it was around 9:00 PM and Andrew offered to treat me to dinner. He invited the manager of the store we were visiting the next morning and we met her at a little Italian restaraunt.

I didn’t know what to expect. Were we going to talk about business all night? Should I bring all my notes? But it turned out to be really chill. Andrew ordered a bottle of wine and we all just talked. I found out that Andrew has a girlfriend who works in PR and just moved to Chicago from New York City. So he said he’s in Chicago a lot. Andrew actually seemed like a real person when he was telling us about his girlfriend. The manager, Kristen, seemed really interested in knowing about their relationship and how they were handling long distance. She was asking a lot of questions that I kind of didn’t need to know the answer to. We also talked about college and the previous jobs we’ve had. Andrew has a background in sales and had a ton of stories about how he met millionaires and celebrities. Kristen was eating it up.

Toward the end of dinner, we were all kind of full and tipsy from the wine. Andrew suddenly said, “Reese, I know you probably think I’m being unreasonably hard on you.”

I looked at him apprehensively. “Uh, yeah.”

“Just like your employees are a reflection of you, you’re a reflection of me. So I’m going to push you. And I want you to push yourself and your team. I’m used to being the best.”

“That’s fair,” I said honestly.

“I have high standards, Reese, and you should too. Once you see that all of your bonuses and raises and reviews depend on the performance of your team, you’ll see why I am the way I am.”

I nodded. I guess it makes sense. It doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s an asshole to me though.

We had to wake up early on Friday morning to do a quick store visit then we got lunch and flew back to Chicago. Andrew was visiting his girlfriend for the weekend and said that if we had a chance, we should meet up to go over the sales reports. I made sure I was “busy” all weekend.

When I got back to Chicago, I got my car and drove directly to Brady’s. It was early afternoon so he was obviously still at work, but I just missed him and wanted to be there when he got home. Chris was home though and let me in. I got inside and took the longest shower ever then I got in Brady’s bed and fell asleep. I didn’t realize how tired I was until I fell asleep in just a towel while scrolling through Instagram.

I woke up later that evening when I heard something. It was Brady, trying to quietly get undressed from work.

“Hey!” I squealed. I was so fucking excited to see him after the week I had.

“Hey! I didn’t want to wake you,” he said and I jumped up to hug and kiss him. Literally love him.

Naturally we ended up having sex right away then laid in bed and I complained about work. The last day or two of the trip was actually fine, but I really just wanted Brady to tell me how amazing I am. Not sorry. He said he worked a ton that week too so we were both super tired. We fell asleep early and had brunch on Saturday morning.

I got dinner and drinks with Carly on Saturday night. I vented to her about how Kendra couldn’t even free up some time to hang out with me even though I was gone all week.

“I get that her job is important or whatever, but it’s just fucking rude,” I complained while shoving my face with sushi.

“Oh yeah!” Carly exclaimed. “I have something to tell you, but you have to promise not to say anything!”

“Okay,” I said. 

“Seriously!” Her eyes widened and she leaned super close. “If you tell Kendra I told you, she won’t ever speak to me again.”

“Carly. Just tell me.”

“Okay, well I went to Kendra’s on Tuesday night for dinner and when I was leaving her apartment, I ran into John. He was walking in when I was walking out and he had like an overnight back so obviously he planned on staying.”

“Oh my gosh,” I groaned.

“I know! And then I texted Kendra like, ‘I just saw John, are you hanging out with him?’ And she’s all, ‘We just want to talk. Don’t tell Reese!'”

Which is rude. Why wouldn’t she want me to know? It’s not like I’m going to judge her for talking to her cheating loser ex whose existence she really shouldn’t acknowledge.

Anyway, I was still so tired on Saturday night that I just went to Brady’s and passed out in his bed while he and Chris smoked. I’m technically supposed to be off today, but Andrew keeps pestering me with emails and I feel guilty not replying. I have to go back to Tennessee tomorrow, but luckily Andrew don’t be there so I’ll actually get to work on my own.

Standard

can you not?

I stayed in my apartment literally all day on Thursday because it was cold and Brady worked until almost 10:30 PM. I asked Kendra, Carly and Preston if they wanted to grab drinks but they all claimed it was to cold to do that. So obviously I was the only one who was willing to risk frostbite to drink.

On Friday, I needed to get out of my apartment so I went into the store to work. The cute manager, Leah, was there and I basically took over her office in the stockroom to do my paperwork. I would come out occasionally and watch her work and ask questions about why she was doing things. She was really cool about explaining how the store worked to me. 

In the afternoon, one of the store assistants came for her shift and since the store was pretty slow I got to know them. At first they seemed like they were trying really hard to be professional and stuff in front of me, but then the assistant let, “At least this means Andrew won’t be in our store as often,” slip.

I politely demanded some dirt on Andrew and they let it all out. Apparently Andrew is a complete douchebag to everyone and not just me. Leah said that he once made her cry because he told her that her hard work was not good enough and she should probably be looking for a new job. But Leah also said she knows Andrew’s ex-girlfriend who said he is a womanizer and cheater. I can see it.

At around 3:00 PM I got an email from Andrew saying that he needed me to create an entire Google Doc and he wanted it by the end of the day. Seriously? Couldn’t he have told me sooner before I spent two hours gossiping about him? Ugh. So I had to work on that until 8:30. Leah and the assistant (whose name I forgot) spent the entire evening talking about how they planned on going out and getting drunk with some of the other people who worked there. I hadn’t been out in a while (at least it didn’t feel like it) and I suddenly wanted to hurry and finish my work so I could also go out and get drunk.

Preston and his latest Grindr hookup were the only two people who were down to go out which was kind of annoying. Brady and Carly were working and Kendra just flat out said no. Whatever. We went to a gay club and got really drunk, really fast. Like blackout drunk. I told myself I wouldn’t do that anymore since I’m 25 and an adult now, but you know. Things happen. The only thing I remember is dancing a ton.

I woke up on Saturday morning in Brady’s bed. I had no idea how I even got there. I found my phone tangled up in the sheets and saw that it was 9:30 AM. After a quick peek at my text messages, it appeared that Brady had come to the club to pick me up. And I was such a cunt to him. At around one o’clock he asked if I wanted him to come pick me up. Even though I clearly needed to go home home, I said, “Uh no, if I need you to pick me up I will tell you.”

And then he said, “Okay well I’m kind of tired, but I’ll try to stay up.”

I then told him to leave me alone. Of course at 4:30 AM I apparently called him to pick me up and when he didn’t come fast enough I texted him, “Hurry up or this hot guy is going to take me home.”

Brady replied, “I’m hurrying.”

I flipped through my camera roll to try to see what I’d gotten into the night before. I just found a ton of selfies with Preston and his cute date.

I felt terrible about the way I treated Brady and wanted to wake him up immediately to apologize.

“Hey,” I said, poking him. “Brady, wake up.”

Brady stirred and rolled over then opened one eye to look at me.

“I’m sorry about last night,” I said.

He closed his eyes and pulled me close to him. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal.”

“Uh, yes it is.” I nudged him. “I was a complete bitch. I can’t believe I got that drunk.”

“It’s fine, Reese,” he sighed. 

“Whatever,” I mumbled, laying back down. I was mad at him for not being mad at me. Is that psychotic? I threatened to go home with another guy and he didn’t think it was a big deal? Cool.

On Saturday night, one of Brady’s friends was having an apartment party so we went. I decided that I wasn’t going to drink and be a hot mess and embarrass Brady which I thought would be easy since he was the only person I would know there. Well it turns out a girl who used to do my hair is best friends with the party host and was at the party. I hadn’t seen her (Heather) in forever. 

After Brady introduced me to a few people, Heather and I caught up over vodka waters. Isn’t it awkward when you cheat on your hairstylist and then see them out? They’re all like, “Wow cute highlights, who did them?” And then you have to make up excuses about why you started going to a new hairstylist.

So I hung out with Heather and gossiped about all the people we know for a while. I ended up getting much more tipsy than I planned on (of course) and mingling with everyone at the party. Everyone was so nice. I was having so much fun that I completely forgot about Brady for a few hours. Oops.

I texted him asking where he was and he told me that he was out on the balcony. After talking to a girl about the cheese plate for ten minutes, I went out to the balcony to find Brady. I found him standing out there with two girls and a guy.

“Hey,” he greeted me nonchalantly. It didn’t take me long to realize they’d been smoking.

“Hey you,” I said. The two girls were actually really pretty, but maybe I really am a changed woman because I didn’t even care about their little cannabis double date. 

“Are you Reese? You’re like, soo pretty,” one of the girls said. And then she started petting my hair. 

“Can you not?” I said as politely as possible. I pulled away slightly so she would get her grubby little hands off me.

Brady continued talking to the guys while the girls asked me a ton of questions like where I’m from, where I went to school, what I do, etc. They were nice enough, but I got sick of the interrogation so I said, “Okay enough with the questions!”

They both just looked at me, kind of scared to proceed. Looking back, I feel like a bitch because they were probably just trying to be nice. I went back inside because Brady was basically ignoring me. When we got back to his place, I sat up in bed and spent way too much money on J. Crew and Anthropologie buying new work clothes. Ugh. I can’t wait for them to get here though.

Brady is working late again tonight which is annoying but I guess I’ll busy myself with work. I’m traveling with Andrew this week so I must prepare!

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dis tew much.

On Monday morning we had a staff meeting with everyone in the office. Our staff meetings are usually on Fridays but sometimes Diana will call them randomly throughout the week. We talked about sales, marketing and the usual things and of course me leaving. 

And then Diana said, “I am happy to announce that after Reese’s departure, Whitney will be taking over the role as director of branding.”

Everyone clapped but I sat there, shocked.

“Whitney already has a ton of ideas and can’t wait to get started! Congratulations to Whitney!” Diana continued.

I feel like me talking about how much I hated the original girl basically got Whitney that promotion. The bitch better thank me.

I ran into Whitney later on and she was like, “Surprise! I’m the new you!”

I didn’t even try to hide my eye roll.

“Diana wouldn’t let me say anything, but it’s been in the works for a few weeks. She said I could paint your office. Well, my new office.”

Obviously it hadn’t been in the works for weeks when Diana had another candidate in mind, but I didn’t even have the energy to argue with her about it. And honestly, I think it’s shitty that Diana didn’t talk to me about it first. She obviously values my opinion since she had me sit in on that interview so I don’t understand why she didn’t ask me about promoting Whitney. But whatever.

So I spent the rest of Monday and most of Tuesday helping Whitney transition. On Tuesday afternoon Diana called me into the break room. She had everyone gathered in there around the table where she had a little white cake that had “Good Luck Reese!” written on it and margaritas everywhere. She gave this little speech about how amazing I am and how lucky the new company is to have me. 

And then we all had drinks which was nice. I didn’t feel sad or anything because I really didn’t feel like I was leaving or it was my last day. It was such a weird feeling.

After work, I was kind of tipsy from the drinks and wanted to see Brady. We didn’t really talk much or hang out on Monday because he worked late. And I was still feeling uneasy about the Maddie message and everything else. I hated the way I felt and wanted to go back to being obsessed with him. And I couldn’t do that until I figured what was going on with Maddie and Jessica.

So I texted Brady and told him I was coming over and he said he was almost home. When I got there, Brady let me in and tried to hug me, but I pushed him off.

“We need to talk,” I said seriously.

“Oh. Okay.” Brady looked nervous. I pushed past him to the dining room and sat at the end of the table where he usually sits. He followed me and I patted the adjacent seat for him to sit down. It was freezing in the dining room and made a mental note to tell Brady to put up some thermal curtains.

“How are you?” Brady asked really formally and sitting up straight.

I pulled my hair up into a bun showing him that I meant business. “I’m okay. Today was my last day of work so I feel really weird.”

“Are you sad?”

“Not really. I don’t know. I just don’t feel like I’m really leaving.”

“And you start your new job tomorrow?”

I nodded. “Andrew is flying in and we are going to meet at one of the stores. I have no idea what to expect. Anyway!”

We were getting off track.

“What did you want to talk about?” Brady asked.

“You. Me. Us. Maddie. Jessica…”

“Okay.”

Silence. 

Shit. I didn’t have anything prepared.

“Um, well I don’t like them texting you.”

Brady stared at me.

“I mean, I don’t like them texting you emojis. I don’t know what you guys talk about at work or anything, but I would consider that flirting and I don’t like it.”

Brady blinked.

“And I feel like we’ve fought about this a million times. I don’t want to stop you from having female friends, but I would feel a lot more secure if you were more…..open about your relationships with them.” Why did it take me forever to think of the word “open?” Too many margaritas.

“Okay.”

“Sooo, can you like say something that will make me feel better about you talking to and working with them?”

“I’m not sure what else I can say. Maddie and I are friends. I tell her about you all the time and she likes you. I’ve never done anything with her nor do I want to. I told her the text message was inappropriate and she apologized.”

I nodded enthusiastically, encouraging him to keep going.

“And Jessica… I haven’t spoken to her since you messaged her. I would not jeopardize our relationship to continue talking to her anyway.”

“But you did.”

“I didn’t realize then that I was…”

“When did you realize? You were obviously still talking to her two weeks ago because she knew we were spending Christmas with my family. And I know you were texting her recently because I saw it!”

Brady’s entire demeanor changed. His jaw tightened and he looked away.

“I didn’t go through your phone. It vibrated and I happened to glance at it.”

He pulled out his phone and unlocked it. “Look at what we were texting about. Go ahead.”

I didn’t expect that at all, but I knew that if he wanted me to read it then it was innocent. I felt kind of bad.

“That isn’t necessary,” I said. “But I think you could have been more upfront about the fact that you were texting her.” I sounded controlling. Maybe his mom is right. “Not to be controlling. I only flip out on you when you hide things. If you were open about it, I would be okay with that.” I think. 

“I agree. I should have told you that we were texting and why.”

“Maybe you should change the way you talk to girls. Stop flirting and stuff.”

I cannot imagine Brady flirting. Not sober anyway. I know I shouldn’t, but I always try to picture him and Jessica sneaking off into a room and her giving him head. I just can’t see it. Even when she was sending him naked pics, his responses were so uninterested and short. I can’t imagine how she talked him into letting her suck his dick at work.

“I don’t believe I’m behaving in any way that would make them think I’m flirting with them. But I’ll reevaluate our interactions,” Brady said.

“Well, you’re doing something. First Jessica and now Maddie. There’s a reason why they’re texting you these things.”

Brady’s mouth opened and shut then he nodded. “Okay.”

“So that’s basically all I had to say. I don’t want to fight over those basic broads anymore,” I said, sweetly.

“I don’t either,” he said and then he was quiet for a moment. “There isn’t any girl I want more than you. I wish you could understand that.”

Brady was looking straight ahead and awkwardly twiddling his fingers on the table. “Before I met you, all I ever did was work. It was the only thing I had to do. My life was incredibly mundane. Now I feel like I actually have something to look forward to.”

Silence.

“If you would like me to stop talking to Maddie, I will. She’s not worth losing you. You make me so happy.”

I wanted to cry/vomit. That was probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Actually, it is. No one has ever told me I make them happy. My ex would have said that he was going to continue talking to his female friend and if I didn’t like it, too bad. And I know it’s kind of evil, but I was honored that Brady is willing to lose friends for me. Not that I would let him.

Neither of us said anything. I’m not into mushy or sappy shit at all, but I knew it took a lot for Brady to open up and say that. I didn’t know how to respond so I hopped up and slid on his lap. I hugged him hard and I could actually feel his heart racing.

Okay, obsession reinstated. 

“It’s freezing in here,” I said, abruptly.

Brady grabbed my little ice cube hand with his warm hands, brought it to him and kissed it. Then he flipped it over and kissed my palm. It was such a tender moment – kind of like the first night we met when I gave him a lap dance to “Fancy.” I can’t explain it, but it was just really intimate.

“I’m not going to argue with you about girls anymore. I trust you,” I heard myself say.

“Thank you. I trust you too.”

Wait. What was that supposed to mean? Of course he trusted me, I didn’t give him any reason not to??

We sat there for a few more minutes until it became too cold to bear. We went in his room and snuggled in bed. Instead of immediately having sex, we sat there and really talked about our future. I know we always do when we’re drunk, but we’ve never really talked about it sober. It was like we both let our guards down. And Brady suggested something that really surprised me. He said that when my lease is up in April that I should move in with him. I know. He said it kind of in passing, but I stopped him to clarify.

He was like, “I mean, if you want. You could save money. Chris is graduating in May and probably moving out of state. [does Carly know this?] I would find a new roommate anyway.”

I was torn between thinking “Dis tew much” and “Yes, I’m going to decorate the shit out of that condo!” But I didn’t tell him yes or no.

Now, I’m just really scared. It’s finally hitting me that this is getting serious. We’ve both met each other’s families and everything, but living together is like such a big step. I’ve never lived with a guy. What if we actually get married and stuff? I’m freaking.

To take my mind off that, I had my first day of my new job yesterday. Andrew and I met at one of the Chicago stores at nine am. I wasn’t sure exactly what to wear since no one gave me any direction, so I decided on a gray sweater dress, tights, brown booties and a faux fur vest. It wasn’t exactly business casual or anything but I thought it showed my style plus it was so cold.

“Reese! How are you?” Andrew greeted me enthusiastically.

He introduced me to the manager of the store, a hip young girl and she gave us a tour of the store. Andrew kept pointing out things that seemed to be out of place and saying things like, “This is probably why your sales are down. That needs to be corrected immediately.”

The manager was furiously taking notes on a notepad and suddenly I felt like I needed some notes too. So I started taking them on my phone. A few minutes after I started doing that, Andrew said, “Reese, you really should be paying attention to this.”

I gave him a weird look because I obviously was paying attention, but then I realized he probably thought I was texting since I was on my phone.

“I am. I’m taking notes,” I said, showing him my phone. All of this happened in front of the manager and I was super irritated at Andrew for trying to make me look bad in front of my new employee.

After that, I made sure to ask a lot of questions to prove that I was paying attention. After the store tour (where I got to watch Andrew harass/aggressively sell to the customers in the store) we went to a nearby Panera to have lunch and talk. Andrew gave me my work cell phone and let me know my business AmEx was in the mail. We talked about my weekly schedule: Mondays and Fridays are my “office day” to get all my paper work done and also the days I would have conference calls with him and all my stores, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are the days I will travel and Thursdays are dedicated to working with third party venders.

I asked him about my training and he said, “You’ll be fine, Reese. I’ll give you all the tools you need to succeed.” 

I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.

He gave me a bunch of DVDs to watch and manuals to read today so that’s what I’m doing. I was supposed to actually go into the store to do it, but I told him I could do it from home because it’s way too cold to go outside. It was -6 degrees when I woke up so I think that’s legitimate.

Anyway, I better get back to work. I hope everyone stays warm! Unless you live where it’s warm in which case, I hope you sweat your makeup off.

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good luck with that.

After sitting in the interview with the woman Diana had in mind for my replacement, I was feeling apprehensive about leaving. The woman was probably ten to fifteen years older than me, thought she was hilarious, and wore a maxi dress to the interview. I didn’t think she was a good fit at all and Diana asked for my opinion after the interview.

“I like that she has so much experience in PR,” I said. This was true at least. She sounded really amazing on paper. “But I don’t know. Something seems off about her.”

“Like what?” Diana wanted to know.

Well, for starters she doesn’t understand the term “business casual.” How does she even still have a maxi dress out this time of year?

“I just didn’t like her. I don’t think she’s in tune with fashion or trends,” I said.

“Okay,” Diana replied. “I appreciate your honesty.”

So between my potential replacement and the fact that my new boss is kind of a dick I am starting to second guess leaving.

For New Year’s Eve Kendra invited us to a party hosted by one of her coworkers at a swanky art gallery. We all got ready and met at my apartment to pregame. I made champagne Jell-O shots, margaritas, and pizza. 

I wanted to wear my new pumps so I had to change my entire outfit and decided on a flesh colored beaded dress with a plunging neckline to show off the girls. Carly actually told me a cute story behind Brady’s gift to me. I excitedly asked her if she wanted to see my new shoes and she said, “I already saw them.”

I gave her a confused look so she continued.

“Brady asked if I wanted to see your Christmas gift and I said yes so he showed me. He went to the store and picked them out all by himself. He was so proud! Apparently he walked around Neiman Marcus for a really long time trying to find a pair of shoes he thought you would like and wouldn’t let any of the sales people help him because he wanted to pick them out on his own. And when he finally picked out the shoes, they didn’t have your size so he had to order them from another store and there was all this drama. But he was determined because he knew you would like them!”

Presh. And I do really like them so he did well.  

As we were getting ready in my room Kendra said, “Let’s have a drama free night, k?” And she was just looking at me.

“Of course! Why are you looking at me?” I asked, offended.

Kendra narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re always the source of the drama and you know it.”

Which was really rude.

The party was indeed swanky – people were wearing floor length gowns and fur and bow ties, but there was also an open bar, VIP tables and everyone seemed to be around our age. We were all a little tipsy by the time we got there.

So our group consisted of me, Brady, Chris, Carly, Preston and Kendra. Imagine my reaction when John walked in with slicked back hair and ugly shoes. I was literally shocked speechless.

He greeted Brady and Chris and I leaned over to Kendra. 

“What the fuck?” I hissed.

“I don’t know. I didn’t invite him,” she said nonchalantly like it wasn’t a big deal. And then John came over and said hi and kissed Kendra on the cheek. She let him.

Once John sat down at the opposite end of the table, I looked around to see if anyone was appalled by what was taking place. No one seemed to care.

Since it was open bar we all spent the night drinking and occasionally getting up from our table to dance. We counted down at midnight then I drunkly kissed my boyfriend then Kendra because she didn’t have anyone to kiss plus she’s my bestie.

Shortly after midnight we were all just sitting at the table hanging out when I saw Brady’s phone on the table light up with a text message.

I couldn’t help looking down and saw that someone named “Maddie” texted him, “Happy New Year,” with three or four kissing emojis.

Wait. Maddie he worked with? The lame girl with the limp brown hair?

“What the fuck?” I blurted out, pointing to his phone.

Brady picked up his phone and read the message. “What?”

“Why did she send you that? Kissing emojis? Are you kidding me?”

“I can’t help what she says to me,” Brady began.

“Yes you can! Obviously she thinks it’s okay to send you that!” I seethed.

“I don’t know why. I didn’t say anything to her.” Brady was looking at me like I was crazy. 

I started to say something else when Kendra grabbed my chin and yanked it so I was looking at her.

“I told you no drama tonight, Reese,” she said through clenched teeth. “Cut it out now.”

I nodded. I promised Kendra I wouldn’t make a scene so I knew whatever I needed to say to Brady had to wait.

I grabbed my drink and started chugging it.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why she sent that,” I heard Brady say.

“It’s fine,” I said breezily. “If that’s who you want, you can have her.”

“I don’t want her.”

“Honestly, it’s cool. If you want someone who looks like that over someone who looks like this, then I certainly won’t stop you.”

“Reese,” he said like I was being completely ridiculous.

“What? I’m a great catch so if you want that then go for it. I’ll be fine.” I got up and motioned for Kendra to dance. Brady tried to grab my elbow as I walked away but I snatched it away. Totally not causing a scene.

After our fight I avoided Brady and spent the rest of the night dancing and drinking. Whenever he would try to approach me I would run away because I wasn’t supposed to create drama or whatever.

So naturally I got extremely drunk and called an Uber to pick me and Kendra up. Before we left she gave John a hug and on the ride home I told her how much I supported her forgiving him and wanting to make things work with him. Ugh.

On Thursday morning I woke up with a headache and sore throat that I thought was a hangover, but later in the day I realized it was probably from traipsing around the city with no coat in ten degree weather. Brady texted me really early and asked if I wanted to get breakfast. I replied no.

Honestly when I saw that text message from Maddie I just felt like I was so over Brady. I don’t know why, but I didn’t feel mad or sad or hurt like when I discovered the Jessica messages. I just felt like, “Ew, that’s my competition lol?” I may not like Jessica, but I’ll admit that she’s at least attractive and obviously takes pride in her appearance. Maddie is pretty in a “I don’t own makeup or heels higher than two and a half inches” kind of way.

Brady made a few more attempts to talk to me on Thursday, but I was short with him and refused to meet up.

Friday was supposed to be my last day of work but I still had so much to do that I changed it to Tuesday. I was in the office until almost nine o’clock on Friday night. I was still feeling like shit, apprehensive about leaving, and over Brady so I was just in a weird mood.

I finally agreed to see Brady on Saturday afternoon because I missed him. I told him I wanted pizza so he came over with a large cheese pizza, wine and a cupcake.

“I already have wine,” I told him when he walked in. I put two slices of pizza on a plate and sat on the couch.

“You’re still mad?” Brady asked, sitting down next to me.

“I’m not mad,” I said. “If you and Maddie want to go off and have a nice fulfilling life together then cool. Good luck with that.”

“I don’t want that.”

“Then why is she sending you kissing emojis?” I don’t even need anyone to tell me how ridiculous I sounded saying “emojis” in the middle of a discussion.

“I don’t know. I told her that it was inappropriate,” Brady said, pulling out his phone to show me. 

“What’s your obsession with your coworkers? You pretend to be all serious and professional, but you’re secretly trying to get in everyone’s pants.”

“Reese…”

“And then I look like the psychopath for trying to keep them away from you. You’re the problem, Brady!”

I didn’t even want my pizza and cupcake anymore.

“I’m not, I swear. Maddie and I are just friends. I’m not interested in her whatsoever.”

“Right,” I rolled my eyes.

We were quiet for several minutes before Brady said, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever. You’re free to do whatever you want,” I said.

“Why are you doing this?”

At this point I actually wanted to blow up with frustration.

“Why are you doing this? Do you not understand what is appropriate in a relationship? I don’t have random guys sending me pictures and emojis! I know where to draw the line. Did you tell Maddie we broke up? Why is she flirting with you? What’s your fucking problem?”

Brady was looking down and I suddenly felt terrible for yelling at him. He’s like a helpless puppy.

For the next half hour I sat at the end of the couch scrolling through Instagram and Facebook. Then Brady stood up and said he was leaving.

“Bye,” I said as I turned on the tv. I felt him staring at me but I refused to look up at him.

“Bye,” he finally said back and then he left.

I drank wine and watched the Lifetime Movie channel for a few hours until I was almost asleep. Just before midnight, I got a text from Brady that said, “I love you.”

I couldn’t help smiling. I replied, “I love you too,” and Brady said, “Get over here now.”

So I showered and hightailed my ass on over there. It was like nothing ever happened. We had sex, fell asleep, ate cereal in the morning and stayed in bed most of the day. 

Don’t even tell me I overreacted about Maddie because I didn’t. You can claim that you wouldn’t care if your boyfriend’s coworkers sent him kissing emojis, but I don’t believe that. I think any sane girlfriend would be upset by it. But seriously, what should I do? I’m so confused (and drugged up on medication, sorry).

Oh and happy new year.

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