dis tew much.

On Monday morning we had a staff meeting with everyone in the office. Our staff meetings are usually on Fridays but sometimes Diana will call them randomly throughout the week. We talked about sales, marketing and the usual things and of course me leaving. 

And then Diana said, “I am happy to announce that after Reese’s departure, Whitney will be taking over the role as director of branding.”

Everyone clapped but I sat there, shocked.

“Whitney already has a ton of ideas and can’t wait to get started! Congratulations to Whitney!” Diana continued.

I feel like me talking about how much I hated the original girl basically got Whitney that promotion. The bitch better thank me.

I ran into Whitney later on and she was like, “Surprise! I’m the new you!”

I didn’t even try to hide my eye roll.

“Diana wouldn’t let me say anything, but it’s been in the works for a few weeks. She said I could paint your office. Well, my new office.”

Obviously it hadn’t been in the works for weeks when Diana had another candidate in mind, but I didn’t even have the energy to argue with her about it. And honestly, I think it’s shitty that Diana didn’t talk to me about it first. She obviously values my opinion since she had me sit in on that interview so I don’t understand why she didn’t ask me about promoting Whitney. But whatever.

So I spent the rest of Monday and most of Tuesday helping Whitney transition. On Tuesday afternoon Diana called me into the break room. She had everyone gathered in there around the table where she had a little white cake that had “Good Luck Reese!” written on it and margaritas everywhere. She gave this little speech about how amazing I am and how lucky the new company is to have me. 

And then we all had drinks which was nice. I didn’t feel sad or anything because I really didn’t feel like I was leaving or it was my last day. It was such a weird feeling.

After work, I was kind of tipsy from the drinks and wanted to see Brady. We didn’t really talk much or hang out on Monday because he worked late. And I was still feeling uneasy about the Maddie message and everything else. I hated the way I felt and wanted to go back to being obsessed with him. And I couldn’t do that until I figured what was going on with Maddie and Jessica.

So I texted Brady and told him I was coming over and he said he was almost home. When I got there, Brady let me in and tried to hug me, but I pushed him off.

“We need to talk,” I said seriously.

“Oh. Okay.” Brady looked nervous. I pushed past him to the dining room and sat at the end of the table where he usually sits. He followed me and I patted the adjacent seat for him to sit down. It was freezing in the dining room and made a mental note to tell Brady to put up some thermal curtains.

“How are you?” Brady asked really formally and sitting up straight.

I pulled my hair up into a bun showing him that I meant business. “I’m okay. Today was my last day of work so I feel really weird.”

“Are you sad?”

“Not really. I don’t know. I just don’t feel like I’m really leaving.”

“And you start your new job tomorrow?”

I nodded. “Andrew is flying in and we are going to meet at one of the stores. I have no idea what to expect. Anyway!”

We were getting off track.

“What did you want to talk about?” Brady asked.

“You. Me. Us. Maddie. Jessica…”

“Okay.”

Silence. 

Shit. I didn’t have anything prepared.

“Um, well I don’t like them texting you.”

Brady stared at me.

“I mean, I don’t like them texting you emojis. I don’t know what you guys talk about at work or anything, but I would consider that flirting and I don’t like it.”

Brady blinked.

“And I feel like we’ve fought about this a million times. I don’t want to stop you from having female friends, but I would feel a lot more secure if you were more…..open about your relationships with them.” Why did it take me forever to think of the word “open?” Too many margaritas.

“Okay.”

“Sooo, can you like say something that will make me feel better about you talking to and working with them?”

“I’m not sure what else I can say. Maddie and I are friends. I tell her about you all the time and she likes you. I’ve never done anything with her nor do I want to. I told her the text message was inappropriate and she apologized.”

I nodded enthusiastically, encouraging him to keep going.

“And Jessica… I haven’t spoken to her since you messaged her. I would not jeopardize our relationship to continue talking to her anyway.”

“But you did.”

“I didn’t realize then that I was…”

“When did you realize? You were obviously still talking to her two weeks ago because she knew we were spending Christmas with my family. And I know you were texting her recently because I saw it!”

Brady’s entire demeanor changed. His jaw tightened and he looked away.

“I didn’t go through your phone. It vibrated and I happened to glance at it.”

He pulled out his phone and unlocked it. “Look at what we were texting about. Go ahead.”

I didn’t expect that at all, but I knew that if he wanted me to read it then it was innocent. I felt kind of bad.

“That isn’t necessary,” I said. “But I think you could have been more upfront about the fact that you were texting her.” I sounded controlling. Maybe his mom is right. “Not to be controlling. I only flip out on you when you hide things. If you were open about it, I would be okay with that.” I think. 

“I agree. I should have told you that we were texting and why.”

“Maybe you should change the way you talk to girls. Stop flirting and stuff.”

I cannot imagine Brady flirting. Not sober anyway. I know I shouldn’t, but I always try to picture him and Jessica sneaking off into a room and her giving him head. I just can’t see it. Even when she was sending him naked pics, his responses were so uninterested and short. I can’t imagine how she talked him into letting her suck his dick at work.

“I don’t believe I’m behaving in any way that would make them think I’m flirting with them. But I’ll reevaluate our interactions,” Brady said.

“Well, you’re doing something. First Jessica and now Maddie. There’s a reason why they’re texting you these things.”

Brady’s mouth opened and shut then he nodded. “Okay.”

“So that’s basically all I had to say. I don’t want to fight over those basic broads anymore,” I said, sweetly.

“I don’t either,” he said and then he was quiet for a moment. “There isn’t any girl I want more than you. I wish you could understand that.”

Brady was looking straight ahead and awkwardly twiddling his fingers on the table. “Before I met you, all I ever did was work. It was the only thing I had to do. My life was incredibly mundane. Now I feel like I actually have something to look forward to.”

Silence.

“If you would like me to stop talking to Maddie, I will. She’s not worth losing you. You make me so happy.”

I wanted to cry/vomit. That was probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Actually, it is. No one has ever told me I make them happy. My ex would have said that he was going to continue talking to his female friend and if I didn’t like it, too bad. And I know it’s kind of evil, but I was honored that Brady is willing to lose friends for me. Not that I would let him.

Neither of us said anything. I’m not into mushy or sappy shit at all, but I knew it took a lot for Brady to open up and say that. I didn’t know how to respond so I hopped up and slid on his lap. I hugged him hard and I could actually feel his heart racing.

Okay, obsession reinstated. 

“It’s freezing in here,” I said, abruptly.

Brady grabbed my little ice cube hand with his warm hands, brought it to him and kissed it. Then he flipped it over and kissed my palm. It was such a tender moment – kind of like the first night we met when I gave him a lap dance to “Fancy.” I can’t explain it, but it was just really intimate.

“I’m not going to argue with you about girls anymore. I trust you,” I heard myself say.

“Thank you. I trust you too.”

Wait. What was that supposed to mean? Of course he trusted me, I didn’t give him any reason not to??

We sat there for a few more minutes until it became too cold to bear. We went in his room and snuggled in bed. Instead of immediately having sex, we sat there and really talked about our future. I know we always do when we’re drunk, but we’ve never really talked about it sober. It was like we both let our guards down. And Brady suggested something that really surprised me. He said that when my lease is up in April that I should move in with him. I know. He said it kind of in passing, but I stopped him to clarify.

He was like, “I mean, if you want. You could save money. Chris is graduating in May and probably moving out of state. [does Carly know this?] I would find a new roommate anyway.”

I was torn between thinking “Dis tew much” and “Yes, I’m going to decorate the shit out of that condo!” But I didn’t tell him yes or no.

Now, I’m just really scared. It’s finally hitting me that this is getting serious. We’ve both met each other’s families and everything, but living together is like such a big step. I’ve never lived with a guy. What if we actually get married and stuff? I’m freaking.

To take my mind off that, I had my first day of my new job yesterday. Andrew and I met at one of the Chicago stores at nine am. I wasn’t sure exactly what to wear since no one gave me any direction, so I decided on a gray sweater dress, tights, brown booties and a faux fur vest. It wasn’t exactly business casual or anything but I thought it showed my style plus it was so cold.

“Reese! How are you?” Andrew greeted me enthusiastically.

He introduced me to the manager of the store, a hip young girl and she gave us a tour of the store. Andrew kept pointing out things that seemed to be out of place and saying things like, “This is probably why your sales are down. That needs to be corrected immediately.”

The manager was furiously taking notes on a notepad and suddenly I felt like I needed some notes too. So I started taking them on my phone. A few minutes after I started doing that, Andrew said, “Reese, you really should be paying attention to this.”

I gave him a weird look because I obviously was paying attention, but then I realized he probably thought I was texting since I was on my phone.

“I am. I’m taking notes,” I said, showing him my phone. All of this happened in front of the manager and I was super irritated at Andrew for trying to make me look bad in front of my new employee.

After that, I made sure to ask a lot of questions to prove that I was paying attention. After the store tour (where I got to watch Andrew harass/aggressively sell to the customers in the store) we went to a nearby Panera to have lunch and talk. Andrew gave me my work cell phone and let me know my business AmEx was in the mail. We talked about my weekly schedule: Mondays and Fridays are my “office day” to get all my paper work done and also the days I would have conference calls with him and all my stores, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are the days I will travel and Thursdays are dedicated to working with third party venders.

I asked him about my training and he said, “You’ll be fine, Reese. I’ll give you all the tools you need to succeed.” 

I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.

He gave me a bunch of DVDs to watch and manuals to read today so that’s what I’m doing. I was supposed to actually go into the store to do it, but I told him I could do it from home because it’s way too cold to go outside. It was -6 degrees when I woke up so I think that’s legitimate.

Anyway, I better get back to work. I hope everyone stays warm! Unless you live where it’s warm in which case, I hope you sweat your makeup off.

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25 thoughts on “dis tew much.

  1. lgburton says:

    If you think you and Brady are going to be together for a long time, I’d say go for it in terms of living with him. But breaking up when you live with someone feels like getting a divorce, and if you broke up, you’d probably have to be the one who moved out since he was there first. He obviously cares about you and his relationship with you a lot, though, and I feel like he’d be willing to really try to make things work if there was ever any trouble.

  2. Claps and snaps all around for you, Reese! This is a great post and I’m glad you and Brady finally sat down to talk about your relationship and your future together.
    And hopefully, you won’t have to deal with Andrew too much…what a punk.

  3. Jacalyn says:

    I am so happy you guys talked!!! I still believe he was seriously oblivious. Moving in together is a great step! He seems to see the real you and he loves it! Don’t let Andrew push you around. If you feel unsure and I’ll-prepared, speak up. Good luck!!!

  4. Alex says:

    I’ll be surprised if you stay together long term with someone who lets you push them around as much as you do Brady. You’re going to lose respect for him eventually.

  5. Susy says:

    Well I’m glad you guys talked. Hopefully things improve between you two and you grow successfully as a couple. Sounds like you’re heading in the right direction if he wants you to move in. Good luck in your new job and in your decision about moving in together. And stay warm! I’m in Montana right now where it’s snowing and its 9, but with the wind chill it feels like -6, so I feel your pain for now. I’m from Los Angeles and I’ll be heading back home this weekend 🙂

  6. Luita says:

    I’m so glad you actually talked to him! Well done Reese! Does that feel good? It’s so terrifying to put your feelings out there but you have to if you want to be happy. Now you have to trust him, he really loves you or else he wouldn’t be asking you to move in with him. I don’t know how I feel about that though, sure it sounds convenient, but first have him put a ring on it. And you also have to be sure he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with because moving out would suck after that.

  7. Olivia says:

    I think that Brady is just saying what you want to hear. It’s virtually the same thing he said when you confronted him about Jessica. I don’t think he’s oblivious. He acts like that to make him seem innocent. Honestly Reese I think it’s early for you to move in with him. I think you two have under currents in your relationship that’s pushed to the side. Two days ago you were contemplating ending things, now you’re considering moving in with him in three months? A lot can happen in three months. I wish both of you would be sober during these late night conversations. You were tipsy and I don’t know what to think of brady. I don’t think he’s done talking to Jessica. Him volunteering to show you his texts mean nothing. It’s simple to delete texts especially when he knew you were furious about Jessica.

    • of course a lot can happen in three months. good and bad. i didn’t tell him i would. i believe what he said and i told him i trusted him so i’m going to keep my word.

  8. Sara says:

    Bravo for talking to Brady seriously. It’s a good first step. Now you two get to put into practice what you discussed. I think you done good here, Reese. As to living together, he is talking April, so you have several months to think about how you really feel about it, so focus more on your new job which is a more immediate situation. let the idea of cohabitation percolate on the back burner for a while; you have plenty of time.

  9. Kristin says:

    Your talk was a good first step, but they need to continue to happen when you’re sober. Remember that trust is a choice, You either choose to trust him or you don’t. If you choose to trust him, you have to let the past go and not bring them up again and again.

    From what I know, I think you and Brady could work well together. He can bring calm and steady to your life and you can bring excitement and fun to his. As long as your values align and you trust each other, you could make it for the long haul. My husband and I have a similar dynamic, and you and I seem to have a similar past with boyfriends who treated us poorly. Fortunately for me, I was friends with my husband when I went through that so he was especially understanding in my trust issues and jealousy. Does Brady know a lot about your past relationship? I know how that can be damaging, but try to remember that you’re successful, chic, and most likely gorgeous so clearly you’re worth it to him.

    • i didn’t tell him the entire saga but i told him why i have trust issues and he seemed to understand. i just think i’m probably more needy than his ex

  10. Are rents so high in Chicago that a younger guy with what sounds like a pretty good hospital job can’t afford to live by himself?

    idk what to say about how your feel with his texts… like it or not, you are coming across as rather controlling and it doesn’t seem like he is attempting to hide things from you, though if you continue questioning everything he might start to. Projecting issues into your current relationship because of problems in your prior ones isn’t helpful unless you talk them out, and lecturing Brady doesn’t count.

    And then, good luck moving forward with your job. Andrew sounds like a total tool but with the way the retail market seems to be going with Wet Seal and Deb Shops closing so many stores, being aggressive is the only way to keep moving forward

    • he isn’t renting so i’m not exactly sure. i completely disagree and think that he does hide things even if its unintentional. do you think i was lecturing him? how do i talk to him without sounding like his mother?

  11. Andrew makes me feel so uncomfortable – everything he does is poster example of how now to welcome new employees into a company, especially into a senior position! It just feels like he’s setting you up to fail, and I can’t understand why when how the business does affects him just as much. Everything crossed that I’m wrong though…

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