it’s boring and you know it.

I complained to Gabby about how annoying my team is. This information got back to our assistant director and she set up a meeting with me to talk about it.

I was excited to meet with her – she kind of reminded me of my old boss, Diana. Gorgeous, older ice queen kinda lady. We set up our date and we met down in the lobby of our building. Michelle came down with her tablet and a kombucha.

We talked about my role and expectations and how I felt about everything. Since she’d already heard how I felt about my team, I reiterated it for her, making sure she knew exactly how I felt. I wasn’t mean at all, I framed it in a way that showed that I want my team to be able to take ownership of their own clients and accounts. I tried to make it seem less about me and more about wanting to develop my team.

“I’ll be honest, I find it odd that a manager of people doesn’t like it when her people come to her for help. You should be glad they are coming to you for guidance. It’s essentially your job,” Michelle said. She’d barely looked up from her tablet at all.

“Really?” I said back, surprised at her reaction.

“Your role is to lead your team and be their number one supporter,” she said.

“I guess I misunderstood my role,” I replied. When I talked to Sarah, the position was all about elevating sales and strategizing, not babysitting.

So after that, I kicked my job search into high gear. I applied for a job I was really excited about. It’s for a conglomerate that works with several companies handling their jewelry departments. Essentially the job is to manage all aspects of product development while also assisting with design and marketing. It’s one of those all encompassing positions and I was totally into it.

I had a brief interview with a recruiter who immediately invited me in for an interview. I claimed to have a doctors appointment to be able to come to work late and scheduled the interview for 9:00 in the morning. I wore navy pants with a blush pink top and a statement necklace. The building was in Times Square in a pretty, colorful office. So my vibe (actually my vibe would be a beautiful white and grey minimalistic fortress full of fresh flowers, but compared to my current job).

The first person I met with was the VP of sales – a tiny brunette with a huge wedding ring.

“I’m Heidi! I’m so glad you’re here! Tell me all about yourself!” she exclaimed before even sitting down.

She was great. We talked for ages about work and life. She even took out her phone show me pictures of her newborn and her banker husband. I could already tell we’d be friends if we worked together.

Two hours later, she asked me if I had time to meet with someone else. I was already making up a faux cyst story to take back to work.

The second lady I met with was Margaret, some bitch who works in design. After the initial introductions, she said, “I see that all of your background is in home furnishings. How would this translate to jewelry?”

Obviously I knew this question was coming and I’d prepared for it. “I worked in product development for years and I gained a ton of transferable skills. I’ve worked with cost and spec sheets while also sourcing and working directly with vendors in production.” All of this had been in the job description.

“Yeah but like, what does it have to do with jewelry?” Margaret asked.

Was she stupid?

“Well, nothing, but they are both consumer goods and if you look at it in the way they are utilized, they are similar,” I said back.

“Hmm.” Margaret looked over my resume, not convinced. “But how can any of your experience resonate with our brand? You don’t have relationships with any suppliers or vendors for jewelry.”

“If you’re looking who has existing relationships, then I’m probably not who you’re looking for. However, I’ve always been resourceful at finding the perfect partners for my company’s needs.” Why was she arguing with me?

Finally, she said, “Okay. We will be in touch.”

I haven’t heard anything back.

One afternoon, Brady texted me saying, “Want to watch the game at a bar after work?”

Of course I said, “Absolutely.”

Brady texted me the name of the bar and then, “Okay if Sydney comes?”

It all made sense. Suddenly he was able to get off work early and suddenly he wanted to hang out at a bar with Sydney. How convenient.

“I guess that’s fine. Slow day at work?” I asked.

“I have a bit of work to do when we get home actually.”

I rolled my eyes. After work, I grabbed Gabby and we Ubered to the bar. I realized I need to make more of an effort to make friends and Gabby is the only person I’ve found who I like so far. When we arrived at the bar, Brady and Sydney were not there yet so we snagged a table and ordered beers. She told me about yet another bad date she’d gone on in which the guy told her she was high maintenance and mean and requested separate checks.

“Why did he call you mean? What did you do?” I asked.

“I literally don’t know! We talked about work and I was telling him about my aspirations and stuff. He just said that out of nowhere. I don’t get it!”

There’s gotta be more to the story/stories so I organized a girl’s night so I can be her wing woman. Obviously I’m amazing at dating and since I like Gabby, I am happy to offer my services and wisdom.

A little while later, Brady and Sydney showed up. Together. Interesting. It was weird to see Sydney in her actual work clothes, not workout clothes. She actually looked kind of cute in her slacks and button up.

“Hey Reese! How have you been?” she greeted me like we are best friends. Before she could respond, she turned to Gabby. “I don’t believe we’ve met? I’m Sydney!”

What the fuck was she so happy about?

After Gabby met everyone, Brady came over to the other side of the table to me. “What’s up? How was your day?”

“If I don’t get a new job soon, I’m going to tie bricks around my ankles and throw myself into the Hudson,” I replied.

“Soon, babe.” Brady is just as tired of me complaining about my job as y’all are. “Another beer?”

“A shot of tequila, please.”

I was annoyed when everyone wanted to start talking about the baseball game. Apparently it was like the World Series or something. Brady and Sydney were going back and forth about all the players and RBIs and fly balls. Even Gabby was getting into it. I hate girls who pretend to be into sports. It’s boring and you know it.

Eventually, I scooted close to Brady and put my hand high on Brady’s thigh. “Are we leaving soon?”

“Just as soon as the game is over,” he assured me.

“So, are you liking the city so far, Reese?” Sydney asked me sweetly.

“It’s fine. How are you liking Brooklyn?” I said back.

It’s like she was dying for me to ask. “You know, I’m really liking it more than I thought. Originally I thought I’d move to DC, but when this opportunity came up-”

I tuned her out and stared at Brady for five minutes until he looked at me. He mouthed, “Soon.”

After the game was over, we all headed outside to go our respective ways.

“What are you guys doing now?” Sydney asked.

“We have to head home now, I still have some work to complete by tomorrow,” Brady said.

Sydney looked disappointed, like she wanted to continue hanging out.

“Let’s get together again soon. I have like two friends in the city,” she said to us.

Yeah, okay. I’ll add something to your calendar.

Nick messaged me on Instagram. Ah, Nick. It felt weird to have him in my DMs.

“You doing okay?” he asked.

So sweet of him to check on me! I wondered if he’d texted me and discovered that I’d blocked him. I didn’t really know what he wanted but I said, “I’m fabulous! How are things with you?”

“Pretty good over here, I can’t complain. I just got back from Michigan for my mom’s birthday.”

And for some reason, we had a five hour long conversation while I was at work. And I was weirded out at how excited I was to talk to him. I turned my ringer on loud so I wouldn’t miss any notifications. We talked mostly about what we’re up to these days – I told Nick how I’m living in New York and my job and stuff. Neither of us mentioned our significant others and I wondered if he was even still with his cute girlfriend. Our conversation was a little bit superficial – we really didn’t talk about much
or dive deep into anything – but I liked talking to him. Dare I say I might have even missed him. I was disappointed when he read my last message (that didn’t require a response) and didn’t respond. I unblocked his number just in case.

Brady and I are going away this weekend and I haven’t even packed so bye.


a baby is not a hobby.

On Thursday, Brett invited a few of us out for happy hour drinks. I really needed to get home to Tucker (Brady works late, or course), but I also really needed a drink. I said I’d go.

Brett invited four guys from the sales team plus a designer and I invited Gabby. At 5:00pm, we all trekked out of the office to a nearby rooftop bar. Gabby told me about a guy she’d met on Hinge. He sounded great and they’d exchanged some normal flirty text messages. She was feeling super pessimistic about it though and was just waiting for things to go downhill. I really feel like I should be going on these dates with her. I’ve never met someone who goes on so many bad dates and I don’t think it should be this hard in a city full of eligible men.

Gabby went to the restroom and Brett turned to me.

“So do you just drink or do you do other stuff?” he asked.

“What kind of other stuff are you referring to?” I asked innocently.

“Nevermind,” Brett said quickly, realizing that I am not into drugs.

Afterwards, Gabby and I walked outside together to catch our Ubers.

“So how much coke does Brett typically do?” I asked.

“So much! It’s so gross, he always offering it to everyone in the office,” she said.

“Seems unprofessional,” I said aloud and tucked the information in the back of my brain for later.

When I got home, Brady still wasn’t home yet. It’s so irritating. I can totally understand being a workaholic and I’ve even been one at times, but I thought he’d want to spend more time exploring our new city together.

When he finally arrived home, Tucker and I were in the galley kitchen making dinner. I’d looked up an easy ramen recipe on Pinterest that proved to be not the easy. Also, I had to buy 38 ingredients to make it.

“Once you’re more settled into work, are you going to work less hours?” I greeted him when he came and found us in the kitchen.

Brady looked surprised that I’d said that. “I’m not sure. I’m hoping that is the case, of course, but this role does require more hours. I actually have to go to Connecticut on Saturday.”

“Seriously? Didn’t you tell them you don’t work on the weekends?” I said. I’d already planned to go to brunch, décor shopping and an animal shelter for us on Saturday. I’ve decided I want a cat.

“I’m hoping this is a one time thing,” Brady said.

Obviously I was thinking about all the things Brady could potentially be doing instead of working like meeting up with some bimbo for a cute day date at a baseball game or something.

“Should I go to Connecticut with you?” I asked.

“I don’t think that would be very fun for you,” he said slowly.

I suddenly remembered our conversation about having a fresh start in New York. Not trusting him that he was going to work was not a fresh start.

“Okay, fine. Tell them you don’t work weekends though,” I said.

Brady had more bad news at dinner.

“My parents invited us to lunch on Sunday. I told them we’d come, but I wanted to check with you first,” he said.

I literally groaned.

“I agree, I feel the same way. I’ve been avoiding them for the past few weeks,” Brady said.

So I had that to look forward to.

On Saturday, Brady left at the asscrack of dawn to go to work. I slept in until 10:00am then made waffles and fresh fruit for Tucker and myself. I was excited to have the full day to myself to explore. I did everything I’d planned to do with Brady (including brunch), but alone. I actually fell in love with a cat at an adoption agency I stopped in, but it was way more expensive than I’d anticipated. So I’ll need to continue shopping around.

When Brady got home from work, he immediately cracked open a beer.

“What a long day,” he complained.

“How was Connecticut?” I asked.

“It was okay. I’ll probably have to start going once a week or at least once every two weeks,” he said back.

I ignored what he said and pulled out two glasses to make drinks. I don’t know why I thought that moving to New York would suddenly make Brady not work as much. New job, new city, same shit. Over it.

We got dressed and headed out to a cute, colorful bar in Soho. We grabbed seats at the bar and sat there talking about our lives until 2am.

“I guess I thought things would be different here,” I said after my third vodka tonic. “You’re still working a ton, which sucks because now I’m home alone because I have no one to hang out with now.”

“I’m sorry I have to work so much,” Brady said. “I don’t want you to feel lonely at home alone, but I have to work. Is there anything else I can do?”

“I guess not. I just don’t understand how a job could require you to work as much as you do. You’re choosing to do that.”

“I’m still getting settled. I want to be home with you guys more and I’ll try to get off earlier more often. It’s not my intention to be away…”

“I just can’t help feeling uneasy after…things I won’t bring up.” I was thinking of Jessica and Sydney. “Maybe I should get a hobby. Or at least have a baby to hang out with when you’re not around.”

“A baby?” he repeated.

“Yeah. It’s the perfect timing actually. I hate my job so I’ll just quit and become a full time mommy. I’ll have something to do since you’re not home,” I said.

“A baby is not a hobby,” Brady said, but still grabbed me and kissed me anyway. “I do recommend finding a hobby though.”

The next morning I woke up hating myself. I remembered leaving the bar and Brady suggesting we go to a late night bar. I was down. Apparently some of Brady’s friends were there – nerdy cool kids from school. They all had on hipster glasses with mustaches. They were cute. One guy had a big tattoo on his neck and we instantly connected. His name was Zeke.

We stayed and drank at the late night bar until after 4am. Thank God there was a taco shop next door to the bar. I rallied the crew and marched in, ordering twenty four tacos for the five of us. Zeke was telling me wild stories about drugs and threesomes. I love hearing about people’s dirty laundry so I was encouraging him to continue.

I hopped out of bed to sit in the front of the toilet. After a brief puke sesh, Brady still hadn’t moved from the bed.

“Should we get up and get food?” I asked, pushing Brady awake.

“I’m okay. You go ahead,” Brady said, turning over.

I wasn’t about to waste time begging him and instead ran out to get bagels at a place close by. Brady struggled to get out of bed when it was time to meet his parents for lunch. We were meeting them at 2:00pm uptown somewhere and Brady didn’t roll out of bed until 1:30.

“If we are late, your parents are going to assume it is my fault and I’ve been ready for ten minutes,” I complained. It wasn’t entirely true as I was walking around naked with my hair still in a bun.

I ended up throwing on a plain black shift dress, mules and kept my hair in a bun. I realize I like to dress like I’m going to funeral when I see Brady’s parents. Sometimes I am, but usually it just feels like it.

The restaurant was inside a hotel and had cute vegetation everywhere. It was super dark inside and Brady’s parents were already seated. For some reason, when I saw them I got this weird feeling like I’d missed them. Maybe I miss my own parents.

Brady’s mom stood up and hugged me first.

“We are thrilled you are both here,” she said and she leaned over to hug Brady.

Soon after we sat down, I found out that Brady’s dad was recently hospitalized and just released. Remember when the mom was making this huge deal about how the dad was sick? First of all, I completely forgot about that and I honestly thought she was fabricating the whole thing. Then Brady started talking to him about his treatment and what the doctors had told him. Brady wanted specifics – numbers, medical names and terms, recommendations.

After talking about the dad for a while, Brady’s mom turned to me. “Reese, how are you? Have you been able to find work in the city yet?”

“Uh, yes,” I replied, offended. Why would she even know that I was unemployed for two weeks? “I transferred with the company I’ve been with for two and a half years. We just had to work out the details.”

“Okay,” Brady’s mom said. “That’s good news. And how are your parents?”

Ugh. Leave me alone.

“They’re fabulous. They recently purchased a new house and my mom has gotten into gardening so they have a really beautiful garden in the backyard,” I said.

“Huh. I thought they’d split.” Brady’s mom looked at the dad.

“Yeah, we all did,” I shot back. “Sometimes you just need time away from each other.” I looked at Brady because obviously he knows that’s true. He didn’t look at me.

“We don’t need any time away from each other, do we? We spend a lot of time together,” Brady’s mom said. The dad nodded. I rolled my eyes.

Later into the meal, Brady’s mom brought up Hunter and for some reason, my heart started racing. Probably from all the guilt of having sick dreams about him.

“Hunter says he’s having some trouble with Dominique. He’s looking for guidance,” the mom said.

“What kind of trouble?” Brady asked.

“Well, she’s been popping in at work unannounced and following him around to make sure he is where he says he will be,” Brady’s mom explained.

I didn’t see the issue.

“That must be annoying,” Brady said.

I was dying to chime in.

“She is really going to get him into trouble pulling stunts like these,” the dad said.

“I wonder why she’s doing this,” Brady said.

I laughed out loud and it came out sounding like a witch’s cackle. Tis the season! Everyone looked at me.

After lunch, Brady’s mom invited the two of them over to see our place. It obviously wasn’t in any shape for visitors, especially them, so I tried to say no. They came over anyway. Our place was pretty clean, except we’d left our glasses and a huge bottle of vodka out from the night before. I saw Brady’s mom stare at the bottle, but no one acknowledged it and I quickly put it away after everyone walked through the kitchen.

Right before they left, Brady’s mom said to me, “There’s a women’s group at the church you may be interested in. It really is a lot of fun and you could probably learn something from it too.”

“Oh, I bet!” I said back. “Send me the deets and I’ll look into it.”

The following week Brady continued working like a slave. Three out of the five days, he didn’t come home until after I was already in bed. I was going to bed at 9:30 every night because I was exhausted from my everyday commute, but still.

I am absolutely hating work. Everyone in my office acts like complete idiots. I’ve never worked with such imbeciles and I don’t know how to deal. The thing that bothers me most is that no one thinks for themselves and every time they encounter any situation at all, they ask me how to proceed.

They are like, “Reese, this client asked for a cost sheet. I know that’s confidential information, but should I still send it to them?”

Now, instead of giving them the answer, I say, “Do whatever you think you should do,” which probably makes me seem lazy, but I don’t have time to be thinking for myself and everyone else too.

I complained to Brett about it.

“Aw, Reese. They just want to please you, you know?” he said in his loud voice.

I had an interview with a hospitality company for a wine and beverage manager. The job sounded fun on paper (hanging out at wineries and bars, free booze and unlimited socializing opportunities? I’m in), but after the interview, I found out that the job was way more nitty gritty and not something I’d enjoy doing. I took myself out of the running after the interview.

One night, Brady came home with a little blue gift bag. He put his stuff down then went to the bathroom, leaving the gift bag unattended. I turned it over and dumped the contents out to see what it was. Brady’s birthday isn’t for several months so I couldn’t understand why he was getting a gift.

Inside the bag was tissue paper, a nice leather card holder and a gift card to Whole Foods. The note in the gift card said, “I’m not sure what we did before you. Thx for everything. -Andrea and team”

Why in the world did Andrea and her so-called team think it was appropriate to be giving out unsolicited gifts?

I shoved everything back in the bag and then waited for Brady to come out and explain.

“What’s in the bag?” I asked when he came out of the bathroom as if I hadn’t already riffled through the bag and Googled the wallet to see how much the team had spent on him ($60).

“Oh, my team got a gift for me. It was unexpected, but very nice,” Brady said.

I decided not to care. I just can’t. I’d rather focus my energy on finding a new job I love and that is harder than I imagined.