I complained to Gabby about how annoying my team is. This information got back to our assistant director and she set up a meeting with me to talk about it.
I was excited to meet with her – she kind of reminded me of my old boss, Diana. Gorgeous, older ice queen kinda lady. We set up our date and we met down in the lobby of our building. Michelle came down with her tablet and a kombucha.
We talked about my role and expectations and how I felt about everything. Since she’d already heard how I felt about my team, I reiterated it for her, making sure she knew exactly how I felt. I wasn’t mean at all, I framed it in a way that showed that I want my team to be able to take ownership of their own clients and accounts. I tried to make it seem less about me and more about wanting to develop my team.
“I’ll be honest, I find it odd that a manager of people doesn’t like it when her people come to her for help. You should be glad they are coming to you for guidance. It’s essentially your job,” Michelle said. She’d barely looked up from her tablet at all.
“Really?” I said back, surprised at her reaction.
“Your role is to lead your team and be their number one supporter,” she said.
“I guess I misunderstood my role,” I replied. When I talked to Sarah, the position was all about elevating sales and strategizing, not babysitting.
So after that, I kicked my job search into high gear. I applied for a job I was really excited about. It’s for a conglomerate that works with several companies handling their jewelry departments. Essentially the job is to manage all aspects of product development while also assisting with design and marketing. It’s one of those all encompassing positions and I was totally into it.
I had a brief interview with a recruiter who immediately invited me in for an interview. I claimed to have a doctors appointment to be able to come to work late and scheduled the interview for 9:00 in the morning. I wore navy pants with a blush pink top and a statement necklace. The building was in Times Square in a pretty, colorful office. So my vibe (actually my vibe would be a beautiful white and grey minimalistic fortress full of fresh flowers, but compared to my current job).
The first person I met with was the VP of sales – a tiny brunette with a huge wedding ring.
“I’m Heidi! I’m so glad you’re here! Tell me all about yourself!” she exclaimed before even sitting down.
She was great. We talked for ages about work and life. She even took out her phone show me pictures of her newborn and her banker husband. I could already tell we’d be friends if we worked together.
Two hours later, she asked me if I had time to meet with someone else. I was already making up a faux cyst story to take back to work.
The second lady I met with was Margaret, some bitch who works in design. After the initial introductions, she said, “I see that all of your background is in home furnishings. How would this translate to jewelry?”
Obviously I knew this question was coming and I’d prepared for it. “I worked in product development for years and I gained a ton of transferable skills. I’ve worked with cost and spec sheets while also sourcing and working directly with vendors in production.” All of this had been in the job description.
“Yeah but like, what does it have to do with jewelry?” Margaret asked.
Was she stupid?
“Well, nothing, but they are both consumer goods and if you look at it in the way they are utilized, they are similar,” I said back.
“Hmm.” Margaret looked over my resume, not convinced. “But how can any of your experience resonate with our brand? You don’t have relationships with any suppliers or vendors for jewelry.”
“If you’re looking who has existing relationships, then I’m probably not who you’re looking for. However, I’ve always been resourceful at finding the perfect partners for my company’s needs.” Why was she arguing with me?
Finally, she said, “Okay. We will be in touch.”
I haven’t heard anything back.
One afternoon, Brady texted me saying, “Want to watch the game at a bar after work?”
Of course I said, “Absolutely.”
Brady texted me the name of the bar and then, “Okay if Sydney comes?”
It all made sense. Suddenly he was able to get off work early and suddenly he wanted to hang out at a bar with Sydney. How convenient.
“I guess that’s fine. Slow day at work?” I asked.
“I have a bit of work to do when we get home actually.”
I rolled my eyes. After work, I grabbed Gabby and we Ubered to the bar. I realized I need to make more of an effort to make friends and Gabby is the only person I’ve found who I like so far. When we arrived at the bar, Brady and Sydney were not there yet so we snagged a table and ordered beers. She told me about yet another bad date she’d gone on in which the guy told her she was high maintenance and mean and requested separate checks.
“Why did he call you mean? What did you do?” I asked.
“I literally don’t know! We talked about work and I was telling him about my aspirations and stuff. He just said that out of nowhere. I don’t get it!”
There’s gotta be more to the story/stories so I organized a girl’s night so I can be her wing woman. Obviously I’m amazing at dating and since I like Gabby, I am happy to offer my services and wisdom.
A little while later, Brady and Sydney showed up. Together. Interesting. It was weird to see Sydney in her actual work clothes, not workout clothes. She actually looked kind of cute in her slacks and button up.
“Hey Reese! How have you been?” she greeted me like we are best friends. Before she could respond, she turned to Gabby. “I don’t believe we’ve met? I’m Sydney!”
What the fuck was she so happy about?
After Gabby met everyone, Brady came over to the other side of the table to me. “What’s up? How was your day?”
“If I don’t get a new job soon, I’m going to tie bricks around my ankles and throw myself into the Hudson,” I replied.
“Soon, babe.” Brady is just as tired of me complaining about my job as y’all are. “Another beer?”
“A shot of tequila, please.”
I was annoyed when everyone wanted to start talking about the baseball game. Apparently it was like the World Series or something. Brady and Sydney were going back and forth about all the players and RBIs and fly balls. Even Gabby was getting into it. I hate girls who pretend to be into sports. It’s boring and you know it.
Eventually, I scooted close to Brady and put my hand high on Brady’s thigh. “Are we leaving soon?”
“Just as soon as the game is over,” he assured me.
“So, are you liking the city so far, Reese?” Sydney asked me sweetly.
“It’s fine. How are you liking Brooklyn?” I said back.
It’s like she was dying for me to ask. “You know, I’m really liking it more than I thought. Originally I thought I’d move to DC, but when this opportunity came up-”
I tuned her out and stared at Brady for five minutes until he looked at me. He mouthed, “Soon.”
After the game was over, we all headed outside to go our respective ways.
“What are you guys doing now?” Sydney asked.
“We have to head home now, I still have some work to complete by tomorrow,” Brady said.
Sydney looked disappointed, like she wanted to continue hanging out.
“Let’s get together again soon. I have like two friends in the city,” she said to us.
Yeah, okay. I’ll add something to your calendar.
Nick messaged me on Instagram. Ah, Nick. It felt weird to have him in my DMs.
“You doing okay?” he asked.
So sweet of him to check on me! I wondered if he’d texted me and discovered that I’d blocked him. I didn’t really know what he wanted but I said, “I’m fabulous! How are things with you?”
“Pretty good over here, I can’t complain. I just got back from Michigan for my mom’s birthday.”
And for some reason, we had a five hour long conversation while I was at work. And I was weirded out at how excited I was to talk to him. I turned my ringer on loud so I wouldn’t miss any notifications. We talked mostly about what we’re up to these days – I told Nick how I’m living in New York and my job and stuff. Neither of us mentioned our significant others and I wondered if he was even still with his cute girlfriend. Our conversation was a little bit superficial – we really didn’t talk about much
or dive deep into anything – but I liked talking to him. Dare I say I might have even missed him. I was disappointed when he read my last message (that didn’t require a response) and didn’t respond. I unblocked his number just in case.
Brady and I are going away this weekend and I haven’t even packed so bye.
13 thoughts on “it’s boring and you know it.”
First of all I’m a huge dodger fan lol (I’m also suffering because they’re are losing) I think the only way one can get into the sport, or any sport for that matter, is to find a team and care about them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Secondly, you have to be some sort of angel to put up with this Sydney BS. If you’ve told your partner “hey I don’t feel comfortable when this person is around” or “this person gives me a bad vibe” or whatever, especially when they are not even a friend from childhood or a best friend, and your partner continues to hangout with them. They’re being a not very kind partner. It should not be a big deal for Brady to just not hang out with her. And yeah it sucks To be living in a new city with no friends. But damn! She’s single, so there are a ton of ways to make friends!
honestly, she’s not even a threat anymore. she’s just really annoying.
also, I used to love college football. for some reason I can’t get into the professional sports.
Some ‘Old Reese’ behaviors are surfacing
1. Not communicating how you feel to Brady.
2. Looking for affirmation from other men. How can you complain about Sydney when you’re being at least as shady.
3. Work gossip. It shouldn’t have been an out of pocket discussion that ‘got back to’ your boss.
Your boss is right and she should have given you more constructive feedback.
Have you considered having a daily team huddle where everyone can raise their questions and they can all hear your feedback and learn.
4. Your attitude about women who don’t follow the Reese rules for being a woman (fashion, appearance, interests) is the most disturbing. It’s a big world and not everyone will like the same things.
Invalidating other women is just gross.
1. what didn’t I communicate? 2. I am not looking for affirmation with nick. what should I have done differently? 3. I get that. my bad on my part. 4. please don’t take everything I say seriously. of course everyone is allowed to have different hobbies and interests. I wouldn’t expect everyone to be exactly like me and into the things I’m into. honestly, I don’t even have any hobbies so who I am to talk?
1. Tell Brady your frustration with his working so much. Tell him your disappointment they he took time off work and chose to include Sydney.
2. You said you spent hours talking with him. What would your reaction be if Brady did that with an ex?
3. I have no doubt you’ll be continue to be successful in your career. Maintaining balance between friends at work and professional distance is one of the toughest things to do.
4. Ok. I thought you meant it. I completely understand what you’re saying
You replied you have no hobbies. What interests you? Maybe volunteer? You’ve enough experience now I think a mentoring program would be great.
All of this
Hmmm. I think you should mention to Brady about Sydney again. She seems harmless but since she said she has no friends I feel like to going to try to constantly latch on to Brady. No thanks girl try to find your own friends. I hope you get the new position with the jewelry company. It seems like a great fit for you. When you went shopping for your new house where did you go? Amazon or Ikea? I want to redecorate my apartment. What patterns and designs could I use to make my space feel and look bigger?
I really like one kings lane. also try wayfair – they have good designers and brands and it is very affordable. to make your space feel bigger: use lots of mirrors. make windows a focal point and use sheers or no covering at all. make use of all space and be creative with storage to eliminate clutter. I recommend a white or light color palette. take advantage of the lucite/acrylic trend and use clear furniture. use patterns you like and feel free to mix. pay attention to scale and proportions and make sure to use a cohesive color palette. hope this helps!
Your response is a o confident and knowledgeable.
You know your worth and value in your professional life.
You’re equally valuable personally.
(Not sure if sound is the right word to
I think you should talk to Brady again too. It’s so shitty that he knows how you feel and still brings her around.
Volunteering could be a fun way to get away from work and do some good!
A fun hobby would be good too. Not sure why you like but I loved boxing and martial arts. Met some awesome people too
I get the impression that maybe Brady doesn’t really understand what she is feeling in regards to Sydney. At least based on what she’s said here, she’s kind of hinted, but not been particularly direct about her feelings. I don’t think it’s appropriate for her (or anyone) to issue ultimatums in a relationship, but she needs to state clearly what she is feeling and why and she needs to let Brady know that the expectation in a relationship is that he puts her ahead of his friends, unless his friends are in danger of some sort.
I have to say that it did make me angry on Reese’s behalf that after feeling like he is working to long and not around very much, he actually took off from work early TO HANG WITH SYDNEY. WTF?
Thanks for the ideas Reese. This is super helpful. I’ll check out those sites. Anna I totally agree with your last comment. He took off early and then invites Sydney. Kind of a red flag. I don’t like her.