drinking like we were back in college.

So Diana’s replacement started on Monday. Last week Dave told me that they’d hired someone – some man who had spent fifteen years with a luxury leather goods company. I didn’t realize they were going to replace her so soon (or at all) so I spent the next few days trying to catch up on all my work. I didn’t want him to think I was a slacker.

On Monday when I walked into work, the first person I saw was Luke.

“He’s here!” he hissed at me.

“How is he?” I whispered back.

Luke shook his head ominously. I took that as a sign that this new guy (Dale) was not cool. I nodded and walked past him toward my desk. There was a tall blonde man with a receding hairline lingering outside my office.

Hiii!” he sang when he saw me. “You must be Reese?”

I nodded. “Hi. Dale? How are you?”

We shook hands and he said, “So what’s your story? What do you do here? Are you married? Kids?”

I laughed. “Nope, not married and definitely no children.” I briefly explained my job to him and he stood there with his hand on his chin like he was pondering.

“Well, we’ll talk more at the staff meeting, okay Reese?” he said.

I said okay and went in my office. I worked alone for a little while before meeting Luke in the design room. We were discussing ideas for next year when I felt someone standing behind me. I turned and Dale was standing there.

“Oh, hey,” I said like it wasn’t super creepy.

“What exactly are you working on?” he asked.

I explained to him that we were brainstorming and trying to find inspiration for upcoming collections.

“And how much time do you spend doing this?” Dale wanted to know.

I looked at Luke. “Um, I’m not sure. Maybe a couple hours a week. We like to get all of our ideas down so when it’s actually time to design we aren’t starting from scratch.”

“Ooookay,” he said sounding kind of skeptical. “I just want to make sure we aren’t paying you to socialize!” He laughed on the last part.

Later on at the staff meeting Dale was officially introduced to the staff. He gave this big flamboyant speech about how happy he is to be joining us and to turn things around. Luke and I looked at each other like, “What is there to turn around?” So that was our first sign of trouble.

I got home and started on dinner while I waited for Brady to come home. I logged onto Facebook and the first thing that popped up were some photos Brady was tagged in. Joy! The first one was taken on a webcam (hello, 2004!) and it looked like Anna was sitting down and Brady and a male I didn’t recognize were photobombing her. The next one was of Brady, Anna and a different guy sitting on a couch. Brady looks extremely under the influence and is leaning his head on Anna’s shoulder. The last one was a selfie of Brady and Anna.

I showed Brady the pictures when he got home and said, “Looks like you had fun!”

I guess he caught on to my sarcasm and asked, “Are you mad?” He sounded surprised and confused, like I had no right to be mad.

“No,” I replied lightly. “But how would you feel if I was out until 6:00 in the morning partying with my ex boyfriend?”

“I suppose I wouldn’t like it,” Brady said slowly.

“Of course you wouldn’t. Why would I be okay with it then?” I demanded.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think of it like that. She has a boyfriend and I have a girlfriend. I wanted you to come…”

“That’s not the point. It’s about respect, Brady. I’m sure Landon knows her name. Yes?”

Brady shrugged. “Landon knows your name.”

“Anyway.” I flipped my hair. “The way you went about it was shiesty. The whole weekend you were shiesty.”

Brady had the nerve to kind of laugh. I glared at him. “Is this funny?”

“No. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. The weekend was uncomfortable for me too, Reese,” he said.

“Why?” I exclaimed. “This is your family, not mine. You did nothing to make me feel comfortable even when your cousin was bullying me.”

I waited for him to say something, but he was silent.

“At some point you’re going to have to grow some balls, Brady. I’m definitely not going to put up with this shit,” I added.

Brady looked hurt. I felt kind of bad, but I totally, totally meant it. And he needed to hear it. I got up and finished dinner then ate by myself in the dining room. I cleaned a bit, took a shower and got in bed. I dozed off then felt Brady get in the bed a little while later.

He put an arm around me and I eagerly turned and kissed him. I can’t even control myself because he’s so adorable. I got on top of him, ready to hook up then go back to sleep, but Brady grabbed my wrists so I couldn’t move.

“Hey. I’m sorry about this weekend,” he said.

“Don’t let it happen again,” I said simply.


At that point, I was fine with where we ended it but the next day I got frustrated and annoyed that we didn’t actually solve anything. Because we never do. At least we are getting along and texting each other all day though. I was sitting on a table in the design room texting Brady when I heard someone clear their throat. It was Dale.

“Oh, hey,” I said, standing up.

“Hey there. What are you working on?” he asked.

“Um, I’m waiting for Luke. We’re going next door for lunch.” I felt like he wouldn’t be satisfied with that answer so I added, “When we get back I have a phone meeting with a textile manufacturer.”

Dale tapped his chin. “Okay. I’ll see you when you get back.”

So Luke and I went and had lunch then came back and got to work. I locked myself in my office for a few hours and got a ton done. I didn’t want Dale to think I didn’t do anything. But maybe he did because later on, he found me by myself again in the design room and he asked, “How much are we paying you?”

I thought it was kind of inappropriate to ask me that plus doesn’t he have some way of looking that up himself? I asked our head of HR, Tracy, about it later. She informed me that I don’t have to (and shouldn’t) discuss my salary with anyone so now I don’t feel bad about not telling Dale.

That evening, Brady and I decided we are going to renovate his place. Since he doesn’t want to move at all, I thought it was great idea – and it was his. So we are going to get rid of the carpet in the dining room (carpet is so 90’s), paint our bedroom and the second bedroom (which I’m going to turn into a home office), get all new living room furniture (Brady’s is so blah), create a guest suite in the basement, and make the main living area in the basement less bachelor pad with more strategic decorating. I’m actually super excited. It’s almost as exciting as buying a whole new place!

The rest of the week kind of sucked because I was busy trying to impress Dale. I think we all were, and he just didn’t seem too enthused by really anything. At Friday’s staff meeting, he informed us that he has a lot of changes he wants to make – all of which he thinks will benefit the business. He talked about restructuring, merging, hiring, etc. It didn’t sound like anyone’s job was in jeopardy (yet), but I think that was everyone’s fear.

On Saturday night, Brady and I had plans to go to dinner with Kendra and John. Kendra and John picked out an upscale restaurant in a hotel so we had to dress up. I wore a black turtleneck dress, over the knee boots, and a faux fur jacket because it was fucking freezing out.

The menu was all about shared plates with a bunch of stuff I’ve never heard of. I just wanted nachos. The cocktail and dessert menus were really good though. Kendra seems really happy. Like freakishly happy. I don’t really get a chance to talk to her outside of our group texts everyday which I feel bad about, but she’s so busy. She hardly even responds.

But at dinner she kept looking at John with these weird glossy eyes, calling him “my love,” and touching his face. Like ew. But I think I’m kind of, a little bit jealous. There was a bar in the restaurant so after we finished eating we got a table by the bar and started drinking like we were back in college.

By the time we left the restaurant, we were all happy and drunk and super loud. We decided that since we were downtown and at a nice hotel, we would just get a room and stay there for the night. What a great idea! We didn’t even have anything to sleep in or any toiletries.

Kendra and I sent Brady and John to Walgreens to buy more alcohol (as if we needed it) and sat in the room waiting.

“Ken,” I whined. “I’m so jealous of your life. I want to be as happy as you are.”

She smiled her freakish married smile. “Then let yourself be happy.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Reese, if you love Brady, then just love him. You always make it so complicated. Don’t try to find every reason not to.”

I had so much to say, so many rebuttals (am I supposed to just forgive him if he cheats on me, like she did with John?), but I just said okay. And decided she was right.

The boys came back with vodka, cranberry ginger ale, and Cheetos Puffs for me. I love that Brady knew after that underwhelming fancy dinner, I needed something else. Love him for that. We started on the vodka and I blacked out.

I woke up this morning in the bed next to Brady. I was using my fur jacket as a pillow. Kendra and John were already gone – apparently the two of them didn’t need to sleep off all that alcohol.

“Brady!” I whined, waking him up. “I’m hungry and I feel like shit.”

“Me too,” he groaned.

We got up and called an Uber and had our driver stop at McDonald’s on the way home. Classy. We spent the day nursing our hangovers, working and online shopping (well, I did. Sephora has so many holiday gift sets and palettes that I cannot pass up!).

Kendra texted me saying, “I can’t believe we paid $400 to stay in a stupid hotel last night.”

I didn’t realize that she and John had covered the costs of the hotel, but promised her that Brady and I would take care of the hotel if we ever decide to do that again. Which we won’t.

Anyway, sorry this is kind of short! I’ve been so busy. Brady and I are flying to San Francisco on Tuesday and I have so much work to do before then. Does anyone else dread trips because of all the preparation it takes? I still need to do laundry, clean and pack, I have a meeting and two presentations at work and I have to do two interviews. Not excited about that at all. But if anyone has recommendations for things to do in San Fran, please let me know!


his dad had to come save me.

Brady waited until the very last minute to tell me that his cousin’s wedding in New York City was a black tie wedding. I was super frustrated because I don’t have any black tie attire just hanging out in my closet and I didn’t have time to shop because I was busy slaving away at work because Diana’s replacement was coming. More on that later. So anyway, I ended up finding a long black dress on my lunch break so it was fine but still. Men just don’t think ahead.

As soon as we got to New York, we went to the hotel where all of Brady’s family was staying and where the wedding reception was being held. It was already 8:00 New York time by the time we got there so we missed most of the annoying family stuff. We checked into our room and started unpacking and getting ready for bed when one of Brady’s other cousins called to say that they were going to the bar after dinner. My kind of people! So we quickly changed and met them at a bar in East Village.

Brady hardly ever talks about his cousins or his dad’s side of the family or really anything, if we’re being honest. So I wasn’t sure what to expect (although if they were partying in East Village I figured they were nothing like his mom’s family). On the way over, Brady gave me a super brief overview of the people we were meeting up with.

We were greeted at the door of this disgusting dive bar by a really big guy with red hair and an even redder face. He had on preppy khaki shorts and Birkenstocks even though it was chilly out and an NYU pullover. He reminded me of Jonah Hill before the weight loss transformation.

“Baby Brady!” he mock squealed and the two hugged.

When they pulled apart, Jonah elbowed Brady out of the way so he could see me and said, “Is this your special lady?”

“Yeah, this is Reese,” Brady replied.

The cousin stuck his hand out to shake mine and introduced himself as Landon. His hand was really clammy.

“No offense, but I’m not going to bother remembering your name. Brady has a different date every time I see him,” Landon said.

I scoffed, offended. I looked from Landon to Brady, unsure of what to say.

“I’m kidding!” Landon laughed, putting his big, meaty arm around me. I ducked away from him and glared at Brady. He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

We walked to the bar where everyone else was. I was already ready to go because Landon had pissed me off, but also because the bar had graffiti on the walls, ceiling and floor. It was just not my scene and I didn’t want to ruin my shoes.

I met Landon’s brother, Logan, who was a hot lawyer. He had serious JFK vibes going on. Then there was another cousin, Matthew, who seemed older than all of us and Matthew’s wife, Dana. Honestly, none of us looked like we belonged in the bar with our bright colors, expensive shoes and clean nails, but I feel like they all just wanted to rebel.

Brady sat down and ordered a beer and at first I was too grossed out to sit down or drink anything. Then I realized that I couldn’t just stand there watching everyone else drink so I made Brady scoot over and I ordered a Jack and Coke. It just seemed fitting.

They started talking about the bride, Holly, and calling her a needy bitch. It was so rude. So I said, “Of course she’s needy, she’s getting married. She has every right to be a bridezilla.”

Landon said, “Hush it, you. What was your name again?”

I narrowed my eyes at him, preparing to rip him a new asshole but then he broke out into a huge grin and told me he was joking.

“You’re annoying,” I mumbled.

I didn’t want to alienate myself completely so I began talking to Logan. I started by asking if Landon was always like that. Logan gave Landon an amused look and chuckled.

“Yeah, Landon has his foot in his mouth about 50% of the time. The other 50% it’s fried chicken.”

So that’s how Logan and I became friends. He kind of talked like Brady, but much less serious. He seemed more laid back. I tried really hard not to be flirty at all, but I started to feel like we were in a job interview. I felt like Anna. And that’s just not me so I started being myself.

After we left the dive bar, we took the subway back to the hotel. Between the dive bar and taking public transportation, I thought Brady’s dad’s side of the family must be much less uptight than his mom’s side. We ordered a bottle of wine and hung out in Landon and Logan’s hotel room talking. I was really surprised when they opened the window and started smoking weed. They didn’t even discuss it, Landon just pulled out a joint and they started passing it around without any interruption to our conversation. Like, okay.

This was on Friday after the Paris terrorist attacks and they started talking about it. It was a huge news story and I decided to play Devil’s advocate. Maybe it was too soon, but I wasn’t trying to be insensitive at all. Brady looked surprised.

Landon gave me a look like he wanted to strangle me and said, “Oh you’re one of those people?”

“What people? It was just a question,” I replied.

Landon leaned over with his elbows on his knees and put his chin(s) in his hands. “Let me guess: you’re all for immigration so shit like this can happen on a daily basis here too?”

I totally shouldn’t have said anything. This was precisely why I don’t ever state my opinion about anything remotely political. I wasn’t about to argue with him so I grabbed Brady’s glass of wine and drank it. Landon started ranting and no one was really listening and eventually I started yawning loudly and Brady suggested we head to bed.

We hadn’t seen his parents since we arrived in New York, but we ran into them in the hallway.

“There you are!” Brady’s mom exclaimed. “I have called you over four times, Brady. I had no idea if you even made it.” She shot me a dirty look like it was somehow my fault that Brady didn’t answer her phone calls.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t checked my phone,” Brady said.

His mom looked back and forth between us like she was so frustrated and irate that she couldn’t even form words. Finally she said, “I will see you in the morning.”

“K, bye,” I said.

I swear she rolled her eyes at me before they walked off.

The next morning, we had to get up and get ready to go to breakfast with all of Brady’s family at the hotel. After my encounter with Landon, I was not excited about it. I vowed to just look pretty and keep my mouth shut the entire meal. We met Brady’s parents in the hallway so we could take the elevator down to breakfast together. His mom insisted. She took one look at my outfit and decided not to even greet me. I thought my sweater dress, boots and topknot were super New York and super appropriate. But whatever.

Breakfast was fine. No one really paid attention to me after the initial introduction and I was totally okay with it. They were all very pretentious though, just as I expected. Scallop omelettes were being served and one of the aunts said, “I wish they would have used sea scallops for this.” And then the table proceeded to have a fifteen minute conversation about sea scallops versus bay scallops. Like who fucking cares.

After breakfast, Brady’s parents invited us to go to some indoor garden with them. His mom explained that it was beautiful and serene and we could probably both benefit from visiting it. How can you benefit from a garden? But anyway, we agreed.

The garden was nice, I guess. Brady’s parents walked ahead of us hand in hand, looking at all the different greenery. Brady had been kind of distant since arriving in New York and neither of us were talking. Sometimes he just needs space so I didn’t push it. Occasionally I’d point out a pretty flower or something and he would just nod.

The wedding was that evening at a Catholic church near Times Square. The service and everything was so beautiful that I almost cried even though I hadn’t even met the bride and groom yet. I’m also not even Catholic.

We had a motorcade that took us back to the hotel for the reception. They’d transformed the ballroom into this really over the top purple and glittery scene that looked like it could have been in Frozen. I hated it. For those wondering, I want a minimalistic all white wedding and reception with no bling aside from my jewelry. I literally want to be the center of attention, obviously.

Anyway, I finally met Holly when she began making her way around the tables. She was a bit older than Brady, with a long sleeved wedding dress and a chignon. If Logan is JFK then she is Elizabeth Taylor. She is definitely the high society wannabe type. She hugged me and air kissed me on both cheeks then uttered the words I’d been waiting for someone to ask me all night. “I love your dress. Who’s it by?”

So we began discussing our attire and I let Holly in detail explain the development of her dress and jewelry (all made in Italy) from start to finish. I could tell she had not only been waiting for the topic to come up, but also that she’d been rehearsing it. I loved her.

I met a Serbian guy named Steven who was friends with the groom. He had big bushy eyebrows, a prominent nose, a fantastic jawline and he was very handsome. I talked to him for a little bit while I was checking out the chocolate fountain. He had a thick accent that made it hard to communicate, but I think he said he owns a solar factory or something. I really don’t know. I did that thing where I nodded and asked general questions that made it seem like I was listening. He suggested we exchange numbers, but I declined and went back to the table.

Later on, I got up to get more chocolate dipped strawberries and ran into Steven again. There was a live piano player and he grabbed my waist so I could dance with him. I suddenly got really hot and embarrassed that he was touching me like that.

“No, it’s okay,” I giggled uncomfortably while pulling away.

Steven like, growled then grabbed my wrist with one hand and kept the other hand on my waist like we were ballroom dancing. I tried to push him off without making a scene, but he was really strong and his arms were big.

“Seriously, stop,” I said sternly and then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I glanced over and saw a ringed hand and realized that it was Brady’s dad.

“Why don’t you join us back at the table?” he said in a low voice.

Steven seemed to get the hint and released me and I followed Brady’s dad back to our table feeling like a bimbo. I was annoyed to see that Landon was sitting in my chair and he and Brady were engrossed in deep conversation. Brady didn’t even look in my direction when I sat on the edge of his chair. No wonder his dad had to come save me.

I sat there thinking about what just happened and how it must have looked to everyone in the room. Like why do I always attract that kind of attention? I started freaking out and trying not to cry. I looked around and noticed Brady’s mom watching me, but she quickly averted her eyes. She was probably trying to figure out how she was going to get rid of me.

“So, you in?” I heard Landon ask Brady.

“Yeah. I’ll just need to change,” Brady said.

Landon saw me watching them and asked, “Is the girl coming?”

Brady looked at me like I knew what they were talking about. I didn’t even have the energy to tell Landon off for calling me “the girl” as if I don’t have a name and just shook my head no. When Landon got up to go back to his own table, Brady said, “Hey, are you okay?”

I glared at him. “I’m ready to go home.”

He nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

“Where are you going after this?” I asked.

“Just to a party with Landon in Brooklyn. Do you want to come?”

“You’re going all the way to Brooklyn? Hell no I’m not going.”

Brady looked down.

“And Landon is an asshole, by the way. I’m fucking sick of him.”

I think that was the last thing I said to Brady before we left the reception. We went upstairs and I immediately stripped my dress off and took a shower. When I got out, Brady had changed into jeans, a lightweight gray hoodie and Converse. He looked much more edgy than usual and I was not happy about it. I couldn’t believe he was going to a party without me. I know that sounds ridiculous and bratty, but what was I supposed to do while he was traipsing around Brooklyn?

“Have fun,” I said and walked past him to the bed.

He stood there awkwardly for about a minute then said, “Bye. Love you,” before walking out.

I was exhausted and fell asleep right away. Do you know what time Brady got back? Six o’clock in the fucking morning. I know New York is the city that never sleeps, but that’s ridiculous. I’d woken up a few times in the night and looked at the time and noted that he wasn’t there. When I finally heard the door open, I sat up and looked at my phone.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked.

Brady smirked at me then got in bed and we both went to sleep. We had to wake up three hours later to get ready to come back to Chicago. Apparently Brady’s mom had called him half a dozen times earlier before they left to go back to Boston so we didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to them. And Brady was too afraid to call her back.

When we were settled into our seats on the plane, on our way home, I let Brady know how unhappy I was with his behavior on the trip.

“Landon was rude and you didn’t do anything about it. I get that he’s your cousin and everything but you could have at least stepped in and told him his comments weren’t cool,” I said.

“That’s just how he is. I told you that before, Reese. He didn’t mean to be rude,” Brady replied.

“Don’t defend him. He was being rude. I don’t care how many girls you’ve introduced to him, but he needs to respect me.”

“He was joking about that.”

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes then I said, “Where were you all night?”

“At a party. I told you,” Brady said.

“It must have been some party.”

“Yeah. I wish you would have come. Actually, Anna was there…”

I didn’t even have the energy to argue with him about it. Was I supposed to be excited that he’d hung out with Anna until 6:00 in the morning? I just said, “Oh.”

Brady pulled out his laptop and I started thinking of a plan of action for when we got back to Chicago. I really wanted to pack my shit and stay with Kendra and John for a few days.

But when we landed, I wanted nothing more than to get in bed and snuggle with my boo (even though it was like two in the afternoon). On the ride home I suggested we order a pizza and recuperate all day and Brady agreed that it was a good idea. I couldn’t even stay up long enough for the pizza to be delivered. I was still so tired. I woke up around 7:00 PM on Sunday and Brady was watching a movie in the living room. Even though we had a tough weekend together, my heart was suddenly so full of love for him again (😖) and I just wanted to hug and squeeze him to death.

I have so much more to tell y’all, but it’ll have to wait. Like I said, I got a new boss and I’ve been working my ass off the past week and a half. I’m tired. Hopefully I’ll have another post up by Friday. Miss y’all!


it looked like a drug deal.

I tried to talk Brady into getting a hotel in the city so we wouldn’t have to stay with his parents, but he wouldn’t do it. He said it might offend his parents. Who fucking cares. We are both adults who need privacy and alone time. I mean, I guess I get it. If I told my mom that Brady and I were coming to Houston, but not staying with them her feelings would be hurt. But that’s different, right?

Anyway, Brady wasn’t having it which was annoying. He’d told me on the plane that his parents made reservations for us to have dinner in Boston which was also annoying because I was wearing super casual travel clothes and I would need to change into something nicer.

When we landed, I ran to a bathroom with my suitcase and changed into a dress that probably wasn’t appropriate for a modest dinner with Brady’s parents, but it was the first thing I saw that wasn’t completely wrinkled. When I walked out of the bathroom, Brady was waiting for me and his eyes got big.

“Wow,” he said, slowly appraising my body. “You look nice.”

“Thanks!” I chirped, flipping my hair. I grabbed my suitcase and started to walk away, but Brady grabbed my free hand and pulled me close to him.

“I love you,” he said softly.

“Love you too,” I said and tried to pull away, but Brady slipped his hands around my waist and kissed me. Meanwhile I was still hanging on to my suitcase. I giggled and pulled away. I also hate PDA.

So we walked hand in hand outside to where his parents and the car were waiting. Brady’s mom spotted me and gave me the once over, completely judging my short dress and my boobs. I can’t help my boobs.

The first thing she said was, “Oh my, aren’t you cold?”

Brady and his father hugged and I stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. I had a peacoat in my suitcase, but I’d totally forgotten to get it out.

“Kind of,” I finally said.

“Well, let’s go. We don’t want to miss our reservation,” she sighed. We walked to the waiting car and I noted that she hadn’t acknowledged Brady at all. So rude.

Brady’s dad got in the front seat so the three of us climbed in the backseat, with me in the middle. We got settled in and Brady rested his hand way too high on my thigh. I glanced at him and he was staring out the window.

“How was your flight?” Brady’s mom asked, not even looking in our direction.

Brady didn’t say anything so I said, “It was fine.”

We rode in silence the the whole way there. We went to an oyster bar. As we sat down Brady’s dad looked at me grinning and said, “I hope you like oysters, Reese.”

Brady’s mom glanced at me like she didn’t care if I liked oysters or not.

“I do. I’ve never had them in New England though,” I admitted.

“This is the only place they are worth getting,” the dad said.

I smiled politely. Once our server came, Brady’s dad went ahead and ordered for us: an oyster platter, scallops, clam chowder, and a bottle of rosé. The table was awkwardly silent after our server walked away. Brady and I were sitting next to each other and the parents across from us, and I had no choice but look down because it was so uncomfortable. I cannot understand why Brady’s parents make everything so awkward.

“Reese, how are your parents?” Brady’s mom finally asked me.

“They’re fine,” was all I could think to say.

“Is your mother working yet?” she continued.

“Um.” I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to explain to her that my mom hasn’t worked since I was in high school. Brady’s mom seems pretty adamant that women need to work and make their own money. I’m not sure how she knew that my mom doesn’t work though because I’ve never told her. “She runs a bakery so that’s her full time job now.”

Brady’s mom looked at the dad and back at me like she was confused. “I thought she told me she was a licensed therapist.”

“She is. She just wanted a change of pace. She went into business with a friend,” I explained.

“It just seems like such a bizarre move. A bakery? But…as long as she’s happy, I suppose.”

Brady’s dad cut in and started talking about careers and how the average person changes careers three times in their life. And how my mom probably got burnt out and wanted something less serious and opening a bakery was the perfect way to do that. Brady’s mom shot him a look.

“How do you feel career wise?” she asked me.

“I feel good. I’m really happy with where I am now,” I replied.

“Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

Here came the interview questions. I was annoyed with her so much that I decided to be truthful and not just say what I thought would please her. Plus, Kat told me she was a good judge of character. If I made up some story, she would probably know.

“I’d like to retire early and become a stay at home mom. Then once my children are old enough to start school, I’d like to get into philanthropy, maybe even start my own charity.”

Everyone stared at me and to my surprise, Brady’s mom actually cracked a smile at me. “Really? What kind of charity?”

“I’m not sure yet. I like animals. I like to help the homeless people in Chicago, too.”

She nodded. “I’m on the board of directors for an education charity. It’s so rewarding, Reese.”

I smiled and nodded.

Her smile quickly faded and she turned to Brady. “Elbows off. the. table.”

I watched as Brady quickly removed his arms from the table and put his hands in his lap. We didn’t talk again until after the food came. We ate in silence for a little while then Brady’s mom asked, “How’s Lindsey?”

“She’s doing well. She seems to like her new job and Chicago,” Brady answered.

“I’m surprised she actually went through with it. Her mother said she was a bit afraid of moving to another state,” the mom said.

“She mentioned it was either Chicago or New York so she was going to have to move to a new state regardless. Just Chicago is a little bit farther,” Brady said.

“Well, I guess she had both you and Anna in either city so she would never be completely alone. Reese, have you gotten the chance to meet Lindsey?”

“Yeah, she stayed with us for like a month,” I answered.

Brady’s mom’s brow furrowed and she asked, “What do you mean?”

Brady grabbed my thigh and spoke up. “Lindsey stayed with Reese her first month in Chicago. I told you that.” I noticed that his neck was starting to turn red. Oh. Ohhh. His parents probably didn’t know that I was living with him because obviously they wouldn’t approve. I couldn’t help being a little bit annoyed at him for lying though.

“I always thought you and Lindsey would end up together, son. You were always so close. Didn’t you think they would, sweetheart?” Brady’s mom said, turning to the dad.

“Ugh, Mom, no,” Brady scoffed.

He pulled out his phone while his parents discussed he and Lindsey’s potential relationship. A few seconds later I got a text from him. I figured he would explain why he didn’t tell his parents we are living together or apologize for his mom. But instead, the message said, “I can’t wait to get you out of that dress.”

I wanted to reply, “How are you going to do that when your mom is going to do everything in her power to keep us away from each other tonight?” But instead I put my phone down and blushed. Brady put his hand on my thigh and kept inching it up higher as his mom continued questioning us.

“Reese, have you considered owning?”

“Brady, have you explored opportunities in Massachusetts?”

By the time the check came, his hand was practically up my dress. Luckily the tablecloth was covering us up because I can only imagine the fit Brady’s mom would throw if she knew he was feeling me up at dinner. Brady didn’t let go of me as we made our way back out to the car. It was like he couldn’t keep his hands off me. Maybe I should wear that dress more often.

When we got back to the house, we were all really tired and decided to retire to bed.

“Reese, you know where you’re staying, I assume?” Brady’s mom said giving me the most condescending smile.

I nodded even though I had full intentions of sneaking back up and fucking the shit out of her son later. Last year when I visited Brady’s parents with him, his mom made me sleep in a room in the basement with absolutely no cell phone reception. I think she did it on purpose. But I ended up sneaking up to Brady’s room anyway so joke’s on her.

I went downstairs and stalled for time for about an hour and a half (squats, jumping jacks, brushing my hair 100 times, etc) then showered and put on boy shorts and a sheer white v-neck. Brady was waiting for me when I got to his room. We hadn’t discussed that we would hookup, but we both just knew. Especially after how frisky he’d been acting all day.

“Hi,” I greeted him, straddling him on the bed. “Why didn’t you come downstairs and visit me?”

“It’s scary down there,” he kind of pouted. He flipped me over on the bed and we proceeded to have wild sex for an hour. But we had to be really quiet. It was tough. I like to be spanked really, really hard, but we couldn’t without being super loud. We tried though.

Afterward, Brady mumbled some stuff and tried to snuggle me as he fell asleep.

“Love you,” I whispered and kissed him.

He mumbled something back and I giggled before slipping out. I tiptoed out and stealthily shut the door behind me, but I almost jumped out of my skin when someone came out of the darkness. It was Brady’s mom.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed, clutching my chest. “You scared me.” She was walking out of the kitchen with a mug in her hands. It was obvious what just went down (especially if she had been hanging outside that door for any amount of time) but she didn’t say anything.

“Hello. I’m having a cup of tea. Do you like tea?” she said.

I nodded. She motioned for me to follow her in the kitchen and because I was still kind of freaked out, I followed her. I sat at the island and waited for her to make my tea.

“Is chamomile okay?” Brady’s mom asked.

I nodded. “Yes.” I was suddenly acutely aware that my shirt was super sheer and my nipples were on full display. I crossed my arms across my chest and hoped that helped.

Once the tea was ready, Brady’s mom brought the mug to me and sat adjacent to me at the island.

“Well, we are glad you two could make it,” she said.

I nodded, taking a sip of the tea.

“I know Brady doesn’t want to be here. He’s made that abundantly clear.”

I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything.

“I just want Brady to want to be around us more. His father has been sick. It’s complicated, but he’s going to be okay.”

“Does Brady know his dad is sick?” I asked. I know Brady never tells me anything, but he hadn’t mentioned his dad at all. And definitely didn’t act like anything was wrong.

“Brady knows. He doesn’t know how serious it got, but he and Hunter are both aware of the state of their father’s health. And it breaks my heart that Brady doesn’t even want to come home for the party. Who knows how many more of these we will be able to have.”

“Is it that bad?” I suddenly felt terrible for how bitchy I’d reacted when Brady said he would be attending his dad’s party. He’s known all along that something was going on with his dad and I made him feel like shit for wanting to spend time with him. I really am an evil person.

“No. But you never know, Reese. You can’t take anything or anyone for granted. That’s the message I’m trying to get across.” Brady’s mom has always look really cold to me. Emotionless. But right then she looked really vulnerable, almost like she might cry. I wonder if that’s how I look when I open up. I felt awful for myself and for Brady.

“I don’t think it’s like that. Brady did want to come,” I said.

“Nevertheless, we are happy you’re here,” she said, completely ignoring me.

We both sipped our tea and Brady’s mom said, “I really enjoy chamomile before bed.”

“I do too. I love green tea, too,” I agreed.

Without a word, she stood up and walked to the cabinets. I was ready to get out of there and get to sleep so I stood up, thinking I was dismissed. Brady’s mom came back over and slid a few packets of tea toward me.

“They’re straight from Asia. It’s very good,” she explained.


“I imagine you’re exhausted.” Brady’s mom paused and looked at me expectantly so I nodded. “Get some rest. I’ll be making breakfast at 8:00.”

She escorted me all the way to the stairs I guess to make sure I didn’t sneak back into Brady’s room. Our talk made me feel really weird. Like it made me feel bad. I’ve always been okay with not really liking Brady’s parents because they don’t seem to like me and don’t ever talk to me. I decided that I should probably make more of an effort because obviously they don’t know how to.

The next morning we had breakfast together in the dining room and everything went back to being awkward. It was silent for the first ten minutes then Brady’s mom said, “Son, there’s a research role open at the university that I want you to look into.”

Brady didn’t say anything – he didn’t even look up from his plate.

Out of curiosity and to break the silence I asked, “What university?”

No one said anything. Brady and his dad continued eating, and the mom looked at me like I was stupid then took a drink from her coffee.

After breakfast, Brady and I took one of the cars to town so he could get one of his tattoos touched up. Apparently Brady won’t go to anyone except his original tattoo artist. And since we were there, I suddenly got the urge to get a tattoo also. I always wanted one when I was a teenager, but I grew out of it because there’s nothing I want on my body permanently. I realized that I still don’t want anything.

After we left the tattoo shop, we went across the street and got ice cream. I wanted to tell Brady about the conversation I had with his mom, but I wasn’t sure how or if I even should. Obviously if Brady wanted me to know that something is going on with his father then he would have told me.

So I asked, “How is your dad? He hasn’t said much this weekend,” to give Brady a clear opening.

He shrugged. “He’s all right.”

“Your relationship with your parents stresses me out,” I blurted out.

Brady’s brow furrowed. “Why?”

“Because y’all never talk to each other and it’s really awkward. It shouldn’t be like that. You should be able to talk to your parents about almost anything.”

“Well, my parents aren’t like your parents. You know that.”

I could feel him getting defensive so I threw my arm around him. “I know. But I think you should try a little harder. They won’t be around forever.”

He ignored me so I dropped it.

That night we all got ready for Brady’s dad’s annual party. I wore a modest black dress with a feather trimmed hem with sexy underwear and thigh highs underneath. Sorry, not sorry Mom-in-law.

On the ride there she said, “Reese, what a great lip color. What is that?”

So we were friends again! I beamed. I dug the Dior lipstick out of my bag and read her the name then asked if she wanted to borrow any. I really just wanted to show Brady that if he tried, he actually could talk to his parents. I know I have some nerve doing that.

“Oh,” Brady’s mom said, awkwardly taking the lipstick from me. She dabbed it on her lips so it just barely showed up and handed it back to me.

Brady was watching the encounter and I shrugged at him like, “Yeah, we’re friends. So?”

The party was the same exact set up as last year. Open bar, food, no music. Since Brady’s mom and I are friends now, I said, “We should get some music playing.”

Everyone ignored me. Brady’s parents disappeared into the crowd so Brady and I went to the bar to get wine. Wine makes me a happy and affectionate drunk so I wasn’t worried about drinking too much. Plus the party was kind of boring so I had no choice, but drink wine until I was sweating. Brady was still being super affectionate and kept a hand on my hip or back while we mingled with everyone. People were asking me where I went for undergrad like they assumed I went to grad school or something. I guess it was probably Brady’s mom’s education friends. So now I feel like I need to continue my schooling (just kidding, I barely survived four years).

Brady’s ex-girlfriend, Anna, was there. She was there last year too so I wasn’t surprised. I didn’t think Brady was going to speak to her unless I went to the bathroom or something, but she walked right up to us. She was with a guy in glasses and a bow tie who I thought looked gay and a girl with a pixie haircut and flats who I also thought looked gay.

Anna said, “Hey!” really loud like she was shocked to see Brady at his own parents’ party. They hugged and it wasn’t like a polite, dainty hug, it was a full on embrace with Anna’s face buried in his chest. It was really too much.

They pulled away and Brady said, “This is Reese.”

Anna turned to me and awkwardly waved like she wasn’t sure if we should hug or shake hands. So I stuck out my hand to shake hers. “Nice to meet you.”

She gave me a flimsy handshake which I didn’t expect from her. She was wearing a shapeless black shift dress, black tights, and basic black pointy pumps. I was wearing fucking feathers. How does Brady go from her to me? I just do not understand. She is really pretty though, I’ll admit that. Especially because I could tell she wasn’t wearing a drop of makeup. Her wavy hair went just past her shoulders and I could tell she put no effort into styling it. She’s the kind of girl who is too busy with work and being smart to do her hair, but it still comes out looking amazing. She introduced us to her two friends, who traveled from New York with her for the party.

“So what’s new with you?” she asked Brady and playfully swatted him on the chest.

Brady shrugged. “Business as usual.”

“Reese, are you in the medical field as well?” Anna asked me, pushing her hipster glasses up on her face.

“No.” I could feel everyone waiting for me to elaborate so I added, “I work in home decor.”

“Sales?” Anna nodded like she totally understood.

I think I was just more threatened by her then I intended to be because I said, “Uh, no. I head a product development team and we design four to six collections a year. My background is in marketing and PR.”

“Ohh,” Anna said. “I forgot that there’s people who do stuff like that.”

The fuck was that supposed to mean? I gave Brady a look like, “Get this girl,” so he cut in and asked Anna’s friends what they do for a living. I nodded like I was listening, but really I was wondering if I had any reason to hate her.

“What are you doing after this?” Anna suddenly asked.

Brady shrugged and looked at me. I shrugged back. As far as I knew, we were going back to his parents’ house to sneak and have sex.

“We’re going to a party in Southie. Come!” Anna enthused.

“Maybe,” Brady said.

“Let me know, okay?” Anna said.


We all started to say our goodbyes and Anna told me it was “so wonderful” to meet me.

“Yeah, you too,” I said sounding super ingenuine. I didn’t even mean to. Oh well.

Brady’s mom found us and wanted to hang out for a little while. I couldn’t help thinking I was the reason she was being nicer and more fun. Once the night started to wind down, Brady asked if I wanted to go to the party with Anna and her friends. I really didn’t want to go because I was tired and wanted to get out of my clothes so I made a face and shrugged.

Brady smiled. “Me neither. I’m going to go find her and tell her.”

Once Brady walked away, his mom turned to me and put an arm around my waist. “Are you two about ready to go, darling? We are becoming tired.”

Darling? Can you believe Brady’s mom called me darling? I guess wine has the same affect on her as it does to me.

“Yes. I’ll go grab Brady and we will meet you outside,” I replied.

I slipped away and went to find Brady and/or Anna. I figured he hadn’t even found her yet, but we could leave and he could text her that we declined her invitation. But I spotted both of them near the bar talking. They shook hands which I thought was weird, and then Brady put his hand in his pocket. Anna turned and walked away. It looked like a drug deal. Lauren and I hung out with drug dealers enough in college for me to know what a drug deal looks like.

I stormed to Brady. “What did she just give you?” I demanded.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, seemingly surprised to see me.

“I saw Anna just give you something. I’m not stupid. What was it?” I said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Brady was looking at me like I was a psychopath and he honestly didn’t know what I was talking about. But I know better now.

“You two are fucking weird. I don’t trust her and I don’t trust you.”

“I’ve given you no reason not to trust me.”

“You are lying to my face right now!” I exclaimed.

Brady sighed. “Come on. We aren’t doing this right now. Let’s go.”

We met back up with his parents and climbed back into the car to go home. Brady’s dad fell asleep almost immediately and his mom stared out the window. I wanted to continue our argument, but it was way too quiet to even talk. So I got out my phone and started texting Brady all these messages about if he was on drugs he needed to let me know so I could get him some help. I watched him open the message, glare at me and then put his phone back in his pocket.

So when we got back to the house, I said goodnight to Brady’s parents (I even gave my new best friend a hug) and went downstairs without saying anything to my crackhead boyfriend.

I showered and got in bed. I was a little annoyed that I didn’t have any cell signal because I wanted to keep chastising Brady about being on drugs and buying it at his parents party, no less.

I was laying there reading on the iPad when the door opened. Brady. I rolled my eyes and said, “What do you want?”

“I miss you,” he said, sitting at the end of the bed. He found my foot through the blanket and started massaging it.

“Have you taken the drugs Anna gave you yet? The TSA dogs are going to smell them on you if you try to take them back to Chicago. You will go to jail,” I said.

Brady threw his head back and laughed. Not because it was funny, because it was ridiculous.

“Anna didn’t give me drugs. God, what goes in your head?”

“What did she give you?”

“She was returning something. My mom gave her something a few years ago and she felt it was only right to return it.”

I eyed him suspiciously. “Oh, really? What was it? And why is she just now returning it if you broke up like three years ago?”

“Because my mom gave it to her. It was a gift.”

“What is it, Brady?!” I practically screamed.

He looked down and continued massaging my foot. I snatched it away and he looked at me like he was wounded.

“Hmm? Tell me,” I continued.

“I don’t think it’s any of your business, Reese,” Brady said softly.

I gasped. “You are so fucking rude.”

“Not everything is about you! This has absolutely nothing to do with you, Reese! You know I’m not on drugs. I can’t believe you even went there.”

“Well, you lie about everything and you’re so secretive that I wouldn’t know.”

Brady looked like he might cry. I’ve never seen him cry and I instantly felt terrible.

“I know you’re not on drugs. I’m sorry. I just want to know what was going on,” I added.

Brady shrugged and looked down. I got up on my knees and threw my arms around him, hoping that would count for something. He hugged me back then stood up.

“Goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

I held on to his hand and pouted. “Stay and hang out a little bit.”

Brady sat back down. “What do you want to do?”

Instead of answering I kissed him and we ripped each other’s clothes off and hooked up. Then we got in the shower and had sex there too. Plus his parents’ room was so far away that we didn’t even have to be quiet. He finally went back to his room at like 4:00 am.

Brady came downstairs and woke me up at like 9:00 so we could have breakfast then make it to the airport in time. I threw a fit and whined about how tired I was. He was smacking my ass when I heard his mom say, “It’s already 9:15. We really need to get going.”

I was completely naked so I quickly grabbed the blanket to cover myself up. I was laying on my stomach, but still.

“We’re coming,” Brady said.

We didn’t end up having time for breakfast and the ride to the airport was completely silent. I thought I had made a breakthrough with Brady’s mom, but she was being as bipolar as ever. She gave me the stiffest hug when they dropped us off and I wanted to scream, “Do you like me or not?!” Maybe she was uncomfortable because she saw so much of my bare body over the course of the weekend. Oopsss.


hot dogs and tequila.

The week started off pretty dramatically. The office was a kind of chaotic with Diana being gone. Her presence just made everyone work better and harder and without her, we just weren’t quite sure what to do with ourselves. Some people were acting kind of unruly and they weren’t listening to me when I suggested they get to work because of course, I’m not Diana. I went to Dave to inform him of what was going on and he didn’t believe me that there was a problem! He claimed the office was still running just as smoothly. So I was really annoyed that nothing was getting done and no one cared.

On Monday, Diana emailed me and said she wanted to talk to me about something. I already knew (thought) she wanted to talk to me about working for her. I mean obviously. Why else would she need to urgently speak to me? I told her I would be free to chat later in the afternoon and she ended up calling me on my office phone.

“Reese, hi. Can you hear me? I’m calling from my cell and people always have trouble hearing me,” she said after I answered.

“Yes I can hear you. How are you?” I said back.

“Look, I’m going to be upfront with you. I need you to work for me. Well, with me. I’m going to be working with a larger firm to get started and they are looking for a director of marketing. But you’d have to move to Dallas. Before you say no, I want you to think about it. Think about your career. It would be such a great step for you and I know you’d be a shoo-in. They’d obviously pay your relocation fee and match your salary. I’ll give you a call in a few days and we’ll talk about it, okay?” Diana explained.

I laughed. I wanted to tell her right away that I had no interest in moving to Dallas, but decided I would think about it like she told me to.

So I thought about it for the next two days. As much as I want to work with/for Diana again, I have no interest in moving to Dallas. I love Chicago and Brady and everything I have here. And then I started thinking, if I’m going to consider moving to Dallas then I may as well move home to Houston. I’m not sure why, but I was really missing my family a lot more than normal. I started thinking that I could move to Houston, get the penthouse apartment in my grandmother’s building and manage the property so she can finally retire. I don’t know what was going on with me.

I figured I needed to break up with Brady if I was going to move one thousand miles away so I was stressing about having to talk to him about it. It was Wednesday and I thought I should bring it up sooner rather than later, but Luke invited me and some people from the office out for drinks after work.

I stayed out until like 1:00 AM and to my surprise, Brady was still up working. He made a big show of looking at his watch then saying, “Oh. You’re finally home.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, just above a whisper.

Brady gave me a look like he was concerned and then I just burst into tears because I was drunk and because all I do is cry lately. Brady motioned for me to come to him and I shuffled over.

“What’s going on?” he asked me.

“I don’t know!” I sobbed, suddenly not wanting to ever leave his side, let alone move all the way to Houston.

“Why are you crying?” Brady asked.

“Just because I love you.”

He didn’t say anything and I just laid there crying for a minute. Then we got in bed and I explained everything. I couldn’t quite put into words how I was feeling and Brady’s eyebrows furrowed like he wasn’t following along.

“Wait. So are you considering going to Dallas for Diana or not?” he asked.

“No. I mean, I want to work with her and do marketing and stuff, but I have no interest in moving to Dallas right now. Should I? I don’t know what to do. Do you want me to leave?” I answered.

“No, of course I don’t want you to leave. But if this is going to be the best career move for you right now then I think you should at least consider it. Especially if you’re unhappy with where you are now. This could be a really great opportunity for you.”

“I’m not unhappy. The whole office is just missing Diana. It should be okay once we figure out how to operate without her.”

“I don’t think you should give her a definite answer until you discuss it with her more.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

The next morning, I decided to work from home. After talking to Brady, I felt much, much better and was no longer considering moving anywhere. I got out my laptop and started working and at around 9:30 I heard the front door open. I assumed it was Lindsey because she had left for work not long before, but to my surprise it was Brady. And he was carrying a box of donuts.

“Hey. I got you something to get you through the day,” he said with a smile.

I squealed and hugged him. I’m glad he’s trying harder to be nicer to me. So I sat on the couch all day eating those fucking donuts. By the time Brady and Lindsey were due home, I actually wanted to die because I was so disgusted with myself. I swore off donuts months ago.

That night Brady and I made plans to visit his brother Hunter and his wife in San Francisco for Thanksgiving. Hunter and his wife (Dominique) won’t be attending the party in Boston next weekend or the wedding in New York so they decided to do Thanksgiving together. And Brady actually invited me to go. I’ve never been to San Francisco so I said yes and I’m really excited. Plus we are going to go for the whole week so we can do other stuff.

We met with Laura on Saturday morning. It was pretty good, we really just sat around talking. She didn’t question us at all and just let us talk and ask her questions. Maybe she just wants to ease into it because last time we were both there it went so haywire.

After we left Laura’s office, we stopped at the grocery store so we could get stuff to eat because at the last minute we decided we would have a few people over on Saturday night. I picked up Cheetos Puffs, Cheezits, birthday cake Oreos, store made hummus, and hot dogs. Best host ever! Brady wasn’t impressed with my selections and got some pretty pretentious options for his pretentious friends.

I didn’t plan on wearing a costume, but when our first few guests arrived and they were in full on costume I knew I needed something. So I rushed to the bathroom and did a quick deer makeup look that’s been popular this year. It was actually really fucking cute. I didn’t have deer antlers or a costume or anything obviously so I just wore a dress and fringey shoes. Hey, at least I tried.

So at first, the only guests we had were the usual suspects: Lindsey, Kendra, John, Jacob, Stacey, Dan, etc. Preston also came with Joe, Nicole and Lexi, and Luke came with a girl. Preston and I kind of made up, but I think he’s just so concerned with Joe that he forgot we had a little fight. I guess that’s okay.

So we were all just hanging out and Lexi grabbed my arm excitedly. “Kyle’s coming.”

I snatched my arm away and put my hands up so she knew how much I disapproved. “Here?”

“Yeah. That cool?”

I looked around for Brady so I could warn him and spotted him outside on the patio, smoking with his friends.

“I mean, I guess it’s fine,” I said slowly. I wasn’t sure how I was even supposed to tell her to uninvite him.

Luckily, the place started filling up, really fast so maybe I could avoid him. When Brady and I discussed it, we said we would just invite some of our closest friends, but it started to feel like a frat party. When I walked to the kitchen to get more tequila, I literally didn’t recognize a single person eating my Cheetos. I was not happy.

But whatever. It was Halloween so I was going to have fun. One of the random ass guys in the kitchen took a double tequila shot with me then I asked him to make the hot dogs for us. While I waited for them to be done, I decided that I’d had enough of my heels so I took them off and put them under the sink. #reeseproblems #reesesolutions

I elbowed my way back to the living room and found Luke and his friend. They weren’t drunk enough for my standards so I dragged them to the kitchen for hot dogs and tequila. Right as I bit into my dog, I heard a loud roar in the living room as if a celebrity had just arrived. Obviously I needed to know who was causing all this commotion and imagine my disdain when I saw that it was Kyle. How did so many people at my party know him? So annoyed. I elbowed my way through the crowd so I could greet him.

“Cute costume, Reese,” he said, tapping my nose.

I glared at him and his stupid Cubs baseball jersey. “You get the award for the laziest costume ever, congrats.”

“Thanks, cutie,” Kyle said just as Lexi made her way through the crowd and threw her arms around his neck. He kind of bent her back and leaned down to her and they started full on making out right there. I could literally hear all the saliva. I obviously don’t care, but like, no. That’s disgusting.

“Y’all are gross,” I said and walked away.

I ran into Preston almost immediately and he said, “What’s going on downstairs?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe go see.”

Curious, I slipped through the crowd and bounded down the stairs. The first thing I saw was a girl’s fucking tits. She was wearing a small bumble bee costume, but the guy next to her was pulling it down and trying to like suck on her boobs. She was half trying to push him off, but obviously enjoying the attention. They were on the couch next to two other guys and one of them was smoking out of a bong. There was a couple kneeling at the coffee table and the girl was recording the guy with her phone and squealing, “Mollyyyy!” That’s when I realized he was crushing it up and that they were going to snort it. And there were people at the bar actually snorting stuff. Gross! I was horrified and decided to go get Brady so we could kick them out.

Brady was walking back inside with a beer in his hand when I found him. He’d worn regular weekend clothes with a white doctor jacket over them for his costume. So maybe he gets the laziest costume award.

“Oh my gosh,” I started. “There are people downstairs doing Molly and Coke and probably acid and shrooms and all that other stuff.”

I expected Brady to be pissed or upset or have some reaction but he just stared at me.

“Can we kick them out? It’s just not that kind of party. I’ll do it, I just want you to go with me,” I continued.

He continued staring at me. Probably having hallucinations from doing drugs with them (obviously he must have been since he didn’t even have a reaction to people doing drugs in his house). I heard a girl shout his name and some chick and her boyfriend came over to greet him. Brady introduced me, but I don’t remember their names because I was so annoyed. Am I allowed to be annoyed?

Since Brady didn’t seem to care, I decided to just have fun and avoid the basement. Turns out I totally love Joe and I can see why Preston is obsessed with him. He’s so fun and cute! He’s like me!

I woke up disgustingly early on Sunday morning. I wasn’t hungover though which is a plus. I watched tv in bed for a little while until Brady woke up. He got up to assess the damage then came back and announced that we should probably clean. I wanted to refuse since the party guests were primarily his friends, but that’s mean so we both cleaned. Brady found my shoes under the sink and was very confused as to how they got there. Signs of a good time. Afterwards, we went to lunch at this really expensive place. Brady’s idea. I got an ahi tuna steak, prawns and roasted vegetables. The portions were small and I still wanted to eat so I insisted on getting gelato afterwards. And then we met up with Brady’s friend and his girlfriend at a bar. Sunday Funday?

I didn’t drink much and I was counting Brady’s beers. I know. I have some nerve monitoring someone else’s drinking. So I didn’t say anything.

Anyway, I actually haven’t heard from Diana since last Monday. She called me on Thursday and left a message because I was busy, but when I called back she didn’t answer and hasn’t returned my call. I’m going to talk to her about it more, but I really, really don’t plan on moving to Dallas. Or Houston for that matter. I had like a midlife crisis last week. I have no idea what was going on with me, but it was scary. I’m back to normal now though!