i hate when you do this.

I told y’all that Brady and I have both been working a lot. I feel like when Brady starts working a lot I get really upset. I’m so needy. But on top of that, he wasn’t really responding to my texts very much. Or would just be short and dismissive. Rude! I whined to him on Friday evening when he got home (at 9:30 PM).

“Do you even care about me?” I greeted him at the door.

Brady looked startled. “What?”

“Do you care? We haven’t spent any time together in forever!” I continued.

He relaxed a little bit. “I’m sorry. It’s not intentional. I’ve taken on a bit more at work.”

“That’s what you always say,” I pointed out, not satisfied with his answer.

“I know. It isn’t an excuse. I’d spend every second with you if I could,” Brady said.

Obviously that wasn’t entirely true, but it was enough for me and we made plans to spend some quality time together (with Craig) that evening. We went to a bar and got chicken strips, fries, and quesadillas to eat along with beer and margaritas. After we overstayed our welcome, we walked next door to the next bar and took a few shots. Craig actually wasn’t getting on my nerves much, mostly because he was trying to pick up the bartender which left me to spend some alone time with my man.

Brady and I were talking about work. Brady was mentioning possibly putting himself up for research roles since that’s what he’s wanted to do. I told him that if he needed to relocate for a new job, I’d go with him. I mean obviously. And then we can start a family.

We went to another bar where we ran into another of Brady and Craig’s friends, who was with a girl and her friends. Eventually the girls left so it was just me alone with the guys. They started ordering beers eight at a time for us and even I was having trouble keeping up. Brady and I hung out at a table making out and feeling each other up and then the friend came over to us, clapping his hand on Brady’s shoulder.

“Here’s the plan. Let’s finish these beers then go back to your place and blow some lines,” he said.

I wasn’t too drunk to realize that wasn’t a normal thing to say. My man does not blow lines.

Brady turned his attention back to me and didn’t say anything back to his friend. It was weird. I’ve never seen Brady do cocaine in the time I’ve known him (but I’ve also never met that friend).

We stayed until the bar closed then took our party outside. All of us were super drunk and being loud and belligerent. Brady’s friend realized that he wanted a cigarette so he ran over to a group of girls who were smoking. Brady followed him and I watched as they talked for a moment while the friend smoked. Then Brady came back over to me and asked if I was ready to go home. It was just odd and it made me feel uncomfortable. I’m not exactly sure why.

Brady had to go into work on Saturday so I spent the day with Tucker. It was hot and disgusting outside, but I still took him for a long walk and then to the pet store. Brady came home with food and we stayed in and watched tv all night.

On Sunday, Brady went into work again and I didn’t want to stay inside all day so I texted Luke to hang out. I haven’t seen Luke in forever and I missed him so I was excited to be able to see him. We caught up over cheeseburgers and margaritas. He says he wants to come work for me. He’s basically the last one left from our old team so he’s hating all the new people and all the changes. He’s also dating someone. A personal trainer which is cute for Luke since Luke is so into being fit.

While we were at the bar eating, Scott texted me asking me something about work. At this point I was a little bit tipsy and sent back a message with a ton of typos then sent corrections one by one. I texted him back like eight times.

“So your Sunday is going well, I gather?” he said.

I sent him back a picture of my margarita and he said, “Nice. Do you want to share?”

I sent back a smiling emoji then I put my phone in my purse. Luke and I were sitting inside the bar, but decided to go up to the rooftop to mingle and take videos for Snapchat. The next time I’d looked at my phone, Scott had sent me a few texts.

“Do you want to have a drink together?”

“Where are you?”

“I’d love to buy you a drink tonight.”

I sent him back the name of the bar I was at and turned to Luke.

“My boss is coming!”

He made a face. “Oh. Why?”

“He’s obsessed with me. It’s okay though. He’s really cool.”

While we waited for Scott, Luke and I met a few friends at the bar. I was talking to a younger good looking cop when I saw Scott walk in out the corner of my eye. He was wearing jeans and a nice shirt and it was weird and creepy to see him out of his suit.

“Well hello there,” Scott greeted me. He pulled out the barstool next to me and sat down.

“This is my friend, Luke,” I said introducing the two.

They shook hands and Luke said, “Nice to meet you. Wish I could stay longer and chat!”

I spun around and saw Luke signing his bill.

“What? Where are you going?” I asked.

“My flight tomorrow is early and I haven’t even finished packing. Have fun though!”

Luke had a trip to Costa Rica planned and was leaving Monday morning. We hugged and promised to hang out again soon. Then I turned my attention back toward Scott and we talked about our days. He said that he’d been out drinking with his friends all day, but wasn’t ready to call it a night hence why he wanted to meet up with me.

We ordered more drinks and talked about work. We talked about Mike and I told Scott to stop being so intimidated by him.

“Wait, you think I’m intimidated by him?” Scott asked, looking surprised.

“Yes! You’re always running around losing your mind when he’s around,” I said. “I get that we need to impress him, but you’re just so over the top.”

I laughed a little, but Scott kept a straight face.

“Once you’re in my position, you’ll see why I am the way I am,” he said and then he excused himself to go to the bathroom.

I turned back to my cop friend while Scott was using the restroom and talked to him for a little bit until I felt someone’s hands on my shoulders. I continued talking to the cop without turning around so Scott ran his hand down my arm and put his hand over my hand which was sitting on the bar. I felt his face close to the back of my neck.

“Do you want to go to another bar?” he asked.

“Okay,” I agreed.

Scott asked for the check and the cop leaned over to us. “No offense man. I didn’t know she was with you before you got here so I got her first couple of rounds of drinks. I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s okay! We aren’t together like that,” I laughed because it was hilarious and I was drunk.

I ordered an Uber to take us to my favorite bar so Scott and I trekked downstairs. Once we made it outside, Scott grabbed my hand to guide me out in the street.

“So glad you could make it out tonight,” I said as we crossed the street.

“Me too. Glad you made some time to see me.”

As if we don’t see each other everyday at work.

Once we were across the street and waiting for our Uber to pull up, Scott still didn’t let go of my hand. And in the car, he placed his hand on my thigh and kind caressed it the entire way to the next bar. We didn’t say anything at all.

We got to the next bar and ordered drinks and continued talking about work. I was sucking down my drinks pretty fast so I can’t remember a lot of the details. Scott was flirting with our bartender – a super cute blonde. He was telling her how beautiful she is and talking about the Olympics and I was playing the perfect wing woman. I noticed that Scott didn’t have his wedding ring on and I tried not to make it obvious that I was looking for it.

While the bartender was helping other people, Scott told me about life before he moved to the United States. About the jobs he had and his his bosses were much more intense than Mike.

“They make Mike look like a sweet puppy,” Scott said.

I leaned over to him and giggled, accidentally knocking my entire drink into my lap. Scott grabbed some napkins and started patting my thigh with them to dry me off. The bartender quickly placed another drink in front of me as if I deserved it.

We sat there for a little while longer before deciding to go to the next bar. Once we got outside, Scott grabbed my hand and held it while we walked to the next bar. We got inside and sat down and ordered our drinks.

“I can’t even lie, I’m very attracted to you,” Scott said.

“Why?” I asked.

“You’re stunning. It’s the way you carry yourself. You’re very direct and you know what you want. That is hot.”

I just grinned.

“Your boyfriend is very, very lucky. I mean, he’s extremely lucky to have you to come home to.”

I took that to mean Scott didn’t enjoy “coming home” to his wife which is crazy because she’s hot and super sweet. I took a sip of my drink and Scott asked, “How many people would you say you’ve slept with?”

I told him the answer and he said, “That’s not a lot considering how good looking you are.”

“What about you?” I wanted to know.

“Over one hundred women. I stopped counting after one hundred,” Scott answered.

I feel like he wanted me to have some grand reaction to that, but I just shrugged. “Well you are older and you’re a man.”

“Yeah, I suppose that would explain it. You’d be surprised how many women throw themselves at me solely because of my accent. I mean, I’m not complaining, but…” Scott said.

Have I mentioned that Scott is British? He’s actually from Australia, but grew up in England for the majority of his childhood. He’s lived in the United States for several years.

“I’m sure it’s not just your accent. You’re not bad looking either,” I said.

Scott turned to me. “Really?”

I nodded. He put his hand on the back of my neck and started massaging it with his fingers. It was so relaxing and we just sat there talking some more. Suddenly, he pulled me toward him and I realized he was trying to lean in for a kiss!

I grabbed his hand and backed away, giggling and pretending I didn’t know what he was doing.

Eventually we got in a cab to go home, deciding that we would just share one since Scott didn’t live that far away from the bar. I didn’t remember the cab ride until the next day when I realized that we were again holding hands and caressing each other’s thighs. What the fuck.

When I got home, it was after 3:00 AM, but Brady was still up. I was excited and relieved to see him.

“Hi baby!” I squealed, jumping on the couch next to him. I laid the back of my head on his lap so I could still look at him.

“How was your night? It’s late,” Brady said.

“Good. I was out with Scott!”

Brady gave me a weird look. “Really?” It sounded more like an “are you kidding?” really.

I nodded. “He’s obsessed with me and it’s not like you’ve been spending any time with me lately so…”

“So you go get drunk with your boss who is obsessed with you and stay out until-” Brady paused to look at the time. “3:00 in the morning?”

“Yes!”

“I hate when you do this,” Brady mumbled.

“I hate when you do this too!” I sat up and we started arguing. We were screaming at each other, I’m not even sure what about, and woke Craig up.

“Hey, is everything okay?” he asked.

“No!” I said. “Both of you need to leave. I’m not comfortable sleeping here if y’all are here.” What did poor Craig do?

“Stop being ridiculous, Reese. We aren’t going anywhere,” Brady said.

“Fine. I’ll call the cops then,” I said and started rummaging through my bag to find my phone.

So then Brady had to wrestle my phone from me so I wouldn’t call the police and make an even huger scene. What a hot mess. Eventually, Brady decided it would be best if he slept on the couch downstairs and left me in the bedroom.

On Monday morning I woke up at 7:30 still in my clothes and makeup from the night before. Brady was already gone, but had left a bottle of water on the nightstand. I felt so awful about the whole night, especially how I’d acted when I got home. I called Brady at work to apologize. Like I called the actual hospital because it was an emergency.

“Reese?” Brady greeted me, after picking up the call.

“Brady, I am so sorry about last night. That should have never happened,” I said.

He sighed. “Okay.”

“Scott tried to kiss me. He was like holding my hand the entire night,” I added.

Brady didn’t say anything.

“I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry. I’m literally so dumb.”

Silence.

“I love you,” I said.

“We can talk more about it later when I get home, okay?” Brady said. He sounded cold, but not necessarily mad.

After we hung up, Brady texted me saying, “You do this too often to continue apologizing for it.”

I didn’t even know what to say so I didn’t say anything.

Scott had texted me a few times.

“Glad you got home safely.”

“Are you okay to come in today?”

“By the way, you looked super sexy last night.”

I didn’t respond and got up to get ready for work. When I got there, Scott was already there working away in his office. I stopped in and said hello and asked if there was anything he needed me to work on. After we discussed work, he lowered his voice and asked, “How are you feeling?”

I shrugged. “Okay. Not that bad though considering how much I drank. You?”

“Not great. My wife woke me up this morning after finding me passed out in a chair. I dry heaved in the bathroom for an hour before coming here.”

We both laughed. Scott stayed in his office all day and didn’t really talk to anyone so people were coming to my office and asking if he was okay. I told them he was probably just hungover.

Brady and I went to dinner that night and I told him everything and I apologized for my behavior. He lectured me, making me feel like complete shit which I deserved.

“If this is what you do when you aren’t receiving the attention you want then I can’t help you,” Brady said. And then he pointed out that Scott is married.

“Did the two of you even think about me and his wife? It’s wrong on so many levels, Reese. I can’t believe you.”

Obviously I felt really bad and couldn’t stop apologizing, but Brady refused to accept my apology because I know better.

Scott is traveling the rest of this week and texted me a few things he wants me to get done while he is gone. He’s getting back Thursday night and told me to let him know if I wanted to grab drinks after he landed. As if I would get drinks with him again! Now I’m just annoyed that I got myself in this situation. I know I need to have a mature adult conversation with him and let him know that none of that should have happened. It will be extremely awkward and I might even do it over email. There goes my raise.

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i’m sorry.

The last few weeks have been weird and depressing and I’m not really sure why. One of Brady’s friends has been staying with us because he was having problems with his live in girlfriend. So I’ve been thirdwheeling. On one of his first nights staying with us, we grilled and had people over to eat and drink. Lindsey was the only girl besides me and the guys starting being guys. Someone brought up Tia. Apparently she gets around a little bit (clearly) so they discussed that.

“[Guy who she hooked up with] says she has her hair shaved into a lightning bolt,” one of them said and they all laughed.

And then Brady said, “She changes it with her mood. Along with the jewelry.”

Why would Brady know that?

“I’m curious to see this now,” one of the guys said.

“I’m sure if you ask to see, she will send you a picture. I’m quite sure of that,” Brady said.

I gave him probably the most disgusted and unimpressed look he’s ever seen and he made a face like, “Hey, it’s not my fault.” I rolled my eyes. I don’t want my man thinking about Tia’s vagina and most certainly not seeing it either.

Another night, the three of us went out for dinner and beers. Brady’s friend (his name is Craig) wanted to bitch about his girlfriend all night and I get that Brady should take his friend’s side, but it was offensive. Craig was blaming his girlfriend for being crazy, unreasonable and selfish and Brady was agreeing with him. Finally, I said, “What did you do to her?”

They both looked at me.

“I didn’t do anything to her, Reese. I’m not here to play the blame game,” Craig said.

“But that’s exactly what you’re doing,” I said.

So now I’m just hoping Craig will leave soon. I’ve even been encouraging him to reach out to his girlfriends and apologize. I miss walking around naked when I want to and being able to come home and eat junk food. Craig works from home a lot (our home) and eats all the junk food during the day. Imagine how frustrating it is to come home from a long day of work thinking you’re going to sit in front of the tv with a pack of Oreos all night, but all the Oreos are gone. If he doesn’t leave soon, I’m probably going to kill him.

Speaking of work, Mike is back. Scott and I have gotten pretty close the past few weeks as we prepared for Mike to come back. We work together literally all day everyday either in my office or his office, or if we’re feeling adventurous, in one of the conference rooms. Monica hates it because I think she feels left out. But it seems like she’s alienating herself purposely. We’ve invited her to our work sessions and she says stuff like, “I have so much stuff to do, I can’t!”
We all have so much stuff to do, girl.
I even had lunch with Scott and his wife last week. So weird. I thought I’d be third wheeling, but I think the wife actually was. She’s a cute little blonde (obviously) who does yoga all day. She even showed up lunch in her yoga gear complete with a mat attached to her bag.

Anyway, Scott just wanted to talk about work the whole time. Like, can we have a lunch period off? We’ve all been working 12-14 hours a day so you’d think we would want to find something else to talk about for an hour.

When we got back to the office, Mike met us at the door and said, “Reese, can I talk to you for a minute?” and headed back to his office before waiting for me to say yes.

I can’t even lie, I thought Mike would confront me about going to lunch with Scott (and his wife) because that seems bad for office politics, right? Monica may have gone to him to complain, you know?
But he wanted to let me know how well I’ve been doing and to thank me for my hard work. I definitely don’t feel like I deserved it (even though I have been working hard), but there have been times I’ve busted my ass even more and no one said anything. But at least he’s noticing.
It was short lived though. On Monday morning, he sent me an email with a list of things that he wanted done, that I haven’t been doing.
“This is your priority this week. Don’t let me catch you doing anything else,” was how Mike closed the email.

So this week I’ve been busting my ass for him and avoiding Scott’s requests to work together. Obviously Mike hadn’t informed him of the list he’d given me so I guess it was supposed to be private. Although I don’t see why.

Carly was here over the weekend. We grabbed a quick brunch on Saturday morning, but that’s the only time I saw her. She spent most of her time in the suburbs wedding planning with her mom. I cannot believe she’s getting married in a few months. She actually kept changing the subject when I asked her about it at brunch which I don’t think is a good sign. I hope she isn’t getting cold feet.

I’m sorry I don’t have much to write about. Like I said, I’ve been in a weird mood, borderline depressed, anxious and super, super tired all the time. I can barely get out of bed most mornings. Hopefully the getaway Brady has planned for the end of the most helps. He’s taking me to a beach in Massachusetts for the weekend. He’s actually been working even more than I have so we definitely both need it. I miss y’all. Hopefully I feel better soon. 

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