I told y’all that Brady and I have both been working a lot. I feel like when Brady starts working a lot I get really upset. I’m so needy. But on top of that, he wasn’t really responding to my texts very much. Or would just be short and dismissive. Rude! I whined to him on Friday evening when he got home (at 9:30 PM).
“Do you even care about me?” I greeted him at the door.
Brady looked startled. “What?”
“Do you care? We haven’t spent any time together in forever!” I continued.
He relaxed a little bit. “I’m sorry. It’s not intentional. I’ve taken on a bit more at work.”
“That’s what you always say,” I pointed out, not satisfied with his answer.
“I know. It isn’t an excuse. I’d spend every second with you if I could,” Brady said.
Obviously that wasn’t entirely true, but it was enough for me and we made plans to spend some quality time together (with Craig) that evening. We went to a bar and got chicken strips, fries, and quesadillas to eat along with beer and margaritas. After we overstayed our welcome, we walked next door to the next bar and took a few shots. Craig actually wasn’t getting on my nerves much, mostly because he was trying to pick up the bartender which left me to spend some alone time with my man.
Brady and I were talking about work. Brady was mentioning possibly putting himself up for research roles since that’s what he’s wanted to do. I told him that if he needed to relocate for a new job, I’d go with him. I mean obviously. And then we can start a family.
We went to another bar where we ran into another of Brady and Craig’s friends, who was with a girl and her friends. Eventually the girls left so it was just me alone with the guys. They started ordering beers eight at a time for us and even I was having trouble keeping up. Brady and I hung out at a table making out and feeling each other up and then the friend came over to us, clapping his hand on Brady’s shoulder.
“Here’s the plan. Let’s finish these beers then go back to your place and blow some lines,” he said.
I wasn’t too drunk to realize that wasn’t a normal thing to say. My man does not blow lines.
Brady turned his attention back to me and didn’t say anything back to his friend. It was weird. I’ve never seen Brady do cocaine in the time I’ve known him (but I’ve also never met that friend).
We stayed until the bar closed then took our party outside. All of us were super drunk and being loud and belligerent. Brady’s friend realized that he wanted a cigarette so he ran over to a group of girls who were smoking. Brady followed him and I watched as they talked for a moment while the friend smoked. Then Brady came back over to me and asked if I was ready to go home. It was just odd and it made me feel uncomfortable. I’m not exactly sure why.
Brady had to go into work on Saturday so I spent the day with Tucker. It was hot and disgusting outside, but I still took him for a long walk and then to the pet store. Brady came home with food and we stayed in and watched tv all night.
On Sunday, Brady went into work again and I didn’t want to stay inside all day so I texted Luke to hang out. I haven’t seen Luke in forever and I missed him so I was excited to be able to see him. We caught up over cheeseburgers and margaritas. He says he wants to come work for me. He’s basically the last one left from our old team so he’s hating all the new people and all the changes. He’s also dating someone. A personal trainer which is cute for Luke since Luke is so into being fit.
While we were at the bar eating, Scott texted me asking me something about work. At this point I was a little bit tipsy and sent back a message with a ton of typos then sent corrections one by one. I texted him back like eight times.
“So your Sunday is going well, I gather?” he said.
I sent him back a picture of my margarita and he said, “Nice. Do you want to share?”
I sent back a smiling emoji then I put my phone in my purse. Luke and I were sitting inside the bar, but decided to go up to the rooftop to mingle and take videos for Snapchat. The next time I’d looked at my phone, Scott had sent me a few texts.
“Do you want to have a drink together?”
“Where are you?”
“I’d love to buy you a drink tonight.”
I sent him back the name of the bar I was at and turned to Luke.
“My boss is coming!”
He made a face. “Oh. Why?”
“He’s obsessed with me. It’s okay though. He’s really cool.”
While we waited for Scott, Luke and I met a few friends at the bar. I was talking to a younger good looking cop when I saw Scott walk in out the corner of my eye. He was wearing jeans and a nice shirt and it was weird and creepy to see him out of his suit.
“Well hello there,” Scott greeted me. He pulled out the barstool next to me and sat down.
“This is my friend, Luke,” I said introducing the two.
They shook hands and Luke said, “Nice to meet you. Wish I could stay longer and chat!”
I spun around and saw Luke signing his bill.
“What? Where are you going?” I asked.
“My flight tomorrow is early and I haven’t even finished packing. Have fun though!”
Luke had a trip to Costa Rica planned and was leaving Monday morning. We hugged and promised to hang out again soon. Then I turned my attention back toward Scott and we talked about our days. He said that he’d been out drinking with his friends all day, but wasn’t ready to call it a night hence why he wanted to meet up with me.
We ordered more drinks and talked about work. We talked about Mike and I told Scott to stop being so intimidated by him.
“Wait, you think I’m intimidated by him?” Scott asked, looking surprised.
“Yes! You’re always running around losing your mind when he’s around,” I said. “I get that we need to impress him, but you’re just so over the top.”
I laughed a little, but Scott kept a straight face.
“Once you’re in my position, you’ll see why I am the way I am,” he said and then he excused himself to go to the bathroom.
I turned back to my cop friend while Scott was using the restroom and talked to him for a little bit until I felt someone’s hands on my shoulders. I continued talking to the cop without turning around so Scott ran his hand down my arm and put his hand over my hand which was sitting on the bar. I felt his face close to the back of my neck.
“Do you want to go to another bar?” he asked.
“Okay,” I agreed.
Scott asked for the check and the cop leaned over to us. “No offense man. I didn’t know she was with you before you got here so I got her first couple of rounds of drinks. I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s okay! We aren’t together like that,” I laughed because it was hilarious and I was drunk.
I ordered an Uber to take us to my favorite bar so Scott and I trekked downstairs. Once we made it outside, Scott grabbed my hand to guide me out in the street.
“So glad you could make it out tonight,” I said as we crossed the street.
“Me too. Glad you made some time to see me.”
As if we don’t see each other everyday at work.
Once we were across the street and waiting for our Uber to pull up, Scott still didn’t let go of my hand. And in the car, he placed his hand on my thigh and kind caressed it the entire way to the next bar. We didn’t say anything at all.
We got to the next bar and ordered drinks and continued talking about work. I was sucking down my drinks pretty fast so I can’t remember a lot of the details. Scott was flirting with our bartender – a super cute blonde. He was telling her how beautiful she is and talking about the Olympics and I was playing the perfect wing woman. I noticed that Scott didn’t have his wedding ring on and I tried not to make it obvious that I was looking for it.
While the bartender was helping other people, Scott told me about life before he moved to the United States. About the jobs he had and his his bosses were much more intense than Mike.
“They make Mike look like a sweet puppy,” Scott said.
I leaned over to him and giggled, accidentally knocking my entire drink into my lap. Scott grabbed some napkins and started patting my thigh with them to dry me off. The bartender quickly placed another drink in front of me as if I deserved it.
We sat there for a little while longer before deciding to go to the next bar. Once we got outside, Scott grabbed my hand and held it while we walked to the next bar. We got inside and sat down and ordered our drinks.
“I can’t even lie, I’m very attracted to you,” Scott said.
“Why?” I asked.
“You’re stunning. It’s the way you carry yourself. You’re very direct and you know what you want. That is hot.”
I just grinned.
“Your boyfriend is very, very lucky. I mean, he’s extremely lucky to have you to come home to.”
I took that to mean Scott didn’t enjoy “coming home” to his wife which is crazy because she’s hot and super sweet. I took a sip of my drink and Scott asked, “How many people would you say you’ve slept with?”
I told him the answer and he said, “That’s not a lot considering how good looking you are.”
“What about you?” I wanted to know.
“Over one hundred women. I stopped counting after one hundred,” Scott answered.
I feel like he wanted me to have some grand reaction to that, but I just shrugged. “Well you are older and you’re a man.”
“Yeah, I suppose that would explain it. You’d be surprised how many women throw themselves at me solely because of my accent. I mean, I’m not complaining, but…” Scott said.
Have I mentioned that Scott is British? He’s actually from Australia, but grew up in England for the majority of his childhood. He’s lived in the United States for several years.
“I’m sure it’s not just your accent. You’re not bad looking either,” I said.
Scott turned to me. “Really?”
I nodded. He put his hand on the back of my neck and started massaging it with his fingers. It was so relaxing and we just sat there talking some more. Suddenly, he pulled me toward him and I realized he was trying to lean in for a kiss!
I grabbed his hand and backed away, giggling and pretending I didn’t know what he was doing.
Eventually we got in a cab to go home, deciding that we would just share one since Scott didn’t live that far away from the bar. I didn’t remember the cab ride until the next day when I realized that we were again holding hands and caressing each other’s thighs. What the fuck.
When I got home, it was after 3:00 AM, but Brady was still up. I was excited and relieved to see him.
“Hi baby!” I squealed, jumping on the couch next to him. I laid the back of my head on his lap so I could still look at him.
“How was your night? It’s late,” Brady said.
“Good. I was out with Scott!”
Brady gave me a weird look. “Really?” It sounded more like an “are you kidding?” really.
I nodded. “He’s obsessed with me and it’s not like you’ve been spending any time with me lately so…”
“So you go get drunk with your boss who is obsessed with you and stay out until-” Brady paused to look at the time. “3:00 in the morning?”
“Yes!”
“I hate when you do this,” Brady mumbled.
“I hate when you do this too!” I sat up and we started arguing. We were screaming at each other, I’m not even sure what about, and woke Craig up.
“Hey, is everything okay?” he asked.
“No!” I said. “Both of you need to leave. I’m not comfortable sleeping here if y’all are here.” What did poor Craig do?
“Stop being ridiculous, Reese. We aren’t going anywhere,” Brady said.
“Fine. I’ll call the cops then,” I said and started rummaging through my bag to find my phone.
So then Brady had to wrestle my phone from me so I wouldn’t call the police and make an even huger scene. What a hot mess. Eventually, Brady decided it would be best if he slept on the couch downstairs and left me in the bedroom.
On Monday morning I woke up at 7:30 still in my clothes and makeup from the night before. Brady was already gone, but had left a bottle of water on the nightstand. I felt so awful about the whole night, especially how I’d acted when I got home. I called Brady at work to apologize. Like I called the actual hospital because it was an emergency.
“Reese?” Brady greeted me, after picking up the call.
“Brady, I am so sorry about last night. That should have never happened,” I said.
He sighed. “Okay.”
“Scott tried to kiss me. He was like holding my hand the entire night,” I added.
Brady didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry. I’m literally so dumb.”
Silence.
“I love you,” I said.
“We can talk more about it later when I get home, okay?” Brady said. He sounded cold, but not necessarily mad.
After we hung up, Brady texted me saying, “You do this too often to continue apologizing for it.”
I didn’t even know what to say so I didn’t say anything.
Scott had texted me a few times.
“Glad you got home safely.”
“Are you okay to come in today?”
“By the way, you looked super sexy last night.”
I didn’t respond and got up to get ready for work. When I got there, Scott was already there working away in his office. I stopped in and said hello and asked if there was anything he needed me to work on. After we discussed work, he lowered his voice and asked, “How are you feeling?”
I shrugged. “Okay. Not that bad though considering how much I drank. You?”
“Not great. My wife woke me up this morning after finding me passed out in a chair. I dry heaved in the bathroom for an hour before coming here.”
We both laughed. Scott stayed in his office all day and didn’t really talk to anyone so people were coming to my office and asking if he was okay. I told them he was probably just hungover.
Brady and I went to dinner that night and I told him everything and I apologized for my behavior. He lectured me, making me feel like complete shit which I deserved.
“If this is what you do when you aren’t receiving the attention you want then I can’t help you,” Brady said. And then he pointed out that Scott is married.
“Did the two of you even think about me and his wife? It’s wrong on so many levels, Reese. I can’t believe you.”
Obviously I felt really bad and couldn’t stop apologizing, but Brady refused to accept my apology because I know better.
Scott is traveling the rest of this week and texted me a few things he wants me to get done while he is gone. He’s getting back Thursday night and told me to let him know if I wanted to grab drinks after he landed. As if I would get drinks with him again! Now I’m just annoyed that I got myself in this situation. I know I need to have a mature adult conversation with him and let him know that none of that should have happened. It will be extremely awkward and I might even do it over email. There goes my raise.
hot mess in high heels. 
Yikes.i feel like you and Brady relationship is always one step forward, three steps backwards due to this sort of bhaviour. You need to get a grasp of yourself, set boundaries. This is another example of you emotionally cheating.🙄🙄🙄
And physically! I could never have another mans hands on my body when I was dating my husband. It makes me sick thinking of someone’s hands on me now that I’m married.
I know.
Geesus, Reese. You make ridiculous choices over and over again. You are not making choices that will sustain a healthy relationship. Your choices, not Brady’s. Brady is exactly right, your apologies mean nothing when you do the same thing over and over again. 😦
😦
Reese do you really love Brady or are you in love with the concept of being in love and having someone. This isn’t the first time that you’ve emotionally and physically cheating and quite honestly you’re lucky that Brady is still around. Most men would have had enough with the same pattern of irresponsible behavior over and over. You should have stopped Scott before it got to the level it did but you did not because you crave the attention. You get upset if Brady speaks to another woman but yet you do this type of stuff. Brady is right. Your ‘fake’ apologies mean nothing…I say fake because you keep doing the same thing over and over showing that you aren’t sorry.
Ambushing Brady because he has to work overtime? You expect so much but give very in return. It sucks for Brady that you would come home and try to kick him out of his own house. You’re a guest in his house. Then you threaten to call the cops. Who do think you are? I’m beginning to think his mom is absolutely right about you.
She’s not a guest in his house. She lives there.
Technically it’s Brady’s place that he owns and pays for. Yes she lives there but it isn’t her place. I’d rather not get into semantics about this is when the issue at hand is Reese’s irresponsible behavior and her treatment of Brady. Do you think that even if this was a place that Brady and Reese owned together that her reaction and her threatening to call the cops was correct? Brady having to leave and sleep downstairs to avoid further confrontation? I think that Brady freaks out and goes crazy over the most minor issues and fails to realize that her actions are so detrimental to their relationship. How can someone talk about marriage and love and then seek attention and comfort from other men? That’s not love.
Brady and I both screamed at each other, it wasn’t like I was just screaming at him and he had to leave to avoid ME. what minor issues has Brady freaked out over? usually it’s only when I do something really dumb.
I really love Brady. I know it might not seem like it when stuff like this happens, but I actually love him so much. what do you mean his mom is right about me? you don’t even know what she thinks.
That was typo…..i meant you freak over minor issues and fail to realize that your actions are detrimental.
oh okay. I can’t argue with that.
Dude, I know attention feels good and all but sometimes you really have to think about what you’re doing. You work with Scott; it’s not like he’s some rando that you’re never going to see again. Brady’s not an angel, either, but when you keep acting like this, an apology doesn’t really mean anything. I’m not trying to be harsh, but if you want him to propose, you have to cut this shit out.
you aren’t being harsh. I know you’re right. where’s your new story? I miss you. 😦
September 1st, I had to push it back because this summer has been fucking insane. Miss you too, actually kind of miss Chicago!!
Girl…
Reese!! Run!! You are not happy with Brady!! You do not feel safe or validated in your relationship. And then you do shit to try and fill that which is lacking. A ring is not worth this constant battle nor is it, nor marriage for that matter, going to make up for all that is left to be desired. Be honest with yourself…are you afraid that you won’t find an actual fulfilling relationship? Do you think you’re not worthy of one? Do you think that you’re lucky that Brady puts up with your shit? Are you afraid that moving on from your relationship means his horrible mother was right? Because all of those are really terrible reasons to stay with someone. You deserve good things. Stay true to yourself and stand up for what you want. I think Brady is shady and I don’t think you’ll ever feel secure with him. And that is an awful way to spend a life. I hate how he always condemns your actions, but rarely takes responsibility for his own. Find someone who you value and who in turns values you.
I am happy with Brady. I want to stay with him because I love him whether you guys believe it or not
It’s not that I doubt you love Brady. I think you do. But the relationship is totally not healthy. You are addicted to drama and you’re addicted to the fighting and then the making up. Seriously that would get so old. I don’t know how or why you would choose to continue to live that kind of life.
I have a feeling that so many will start bashing Brady and justify your actions. You don’t love Brady. You want to keep up with friends that are settling down and growing up. You want a ring and wedding but can’t even respect Brady. When are you going to grow up and take responsibility for your actions? Brady isn’t an angel but he deserves better than this. If you want to be with other men add find validation break up with Brady, move out, be independent and do your thing. Don’t string Brady along. What were you thinking allowing that behavior and acting like that with your boss?
you can’t tell me that I don’t love him because you don’t know. I’m not stringing him along. I wasn’t thinking!!!! that’s the issue
Please don’t get engaged or married to Brady any time soon. When u really love and care about and respect someone, you won’t even allow urself to get into situations like the one with Scott. What if one of Bradys friends saw u walking down the street holding hands with Scott? Brady would be So humiliated- but u don’t care about that kind of stuff at all. There’s probably a guy out there for u who you’ll love so much u’d stop all the flirting and emotional cheating for them. Brady deserves better, and u do too.
Also, how can u still be attracted to someone who let’s u get away with so much (by staying with u)?
because he’s my man.
I can’t believe I used to be so pro Reese and thought she would grow and learn to have respect for herself and her relationship. But I realize that Reese is such a flop, but a flop with nice style. So disappointed with your action, you literal have no right to question Brady about Tia or any other rando
Can’t believe I used to be so pro Reese and actually thought you would learn to grow and respect yourself and your relationship. I think I have come to the realization that you are a flop but at least you’re a flop with great style. Soo disappointed.
Reese is such a flop, can’t believe I actually thought you would grow and learn to have some respect for yourself and your relationship. With all this continuous disrespect to your relationship . I don’t think you should expect and ring for a long time. I am seriously disappointed. Eww your behavior with Scott was do trashy. You are such a flop
a flop?
As soon as u told Scott to join you I started cringing. I knew where the story was going, tho I half expected it to be way worse. Like u waking up in a hotel room with Scott. You really need to check urself when drinking. If you’re as hot as you say u are, and every other guy in ur blog says u are, then you don’t need to be such an attention whore. Seriously. Even without Brady being in the picture, there’s no way you should have let Scott ever touch you. He’s married and he’s your boss. Talk about shitting where you eat. You better talk to him face to face and straighten this out. Tell him it should have never happened and it won’t happen again. DO NOT email him. First – you’re an adult. Second – that is not something that you want to have written proof of floating around. Imagine if somehow it got out. And for fucks sake stop letting guys buy u drinks at the bar. Ur not single – stop acting like it!
THIS! I agree 1000%. Reese I’ve read your replies to some comments and have a few questions. What is love in your opinion? What do you love about Brady? How do you show him you love him? How are you so sure you love Brady and please don’t start say I just know because your actions are showing different.
why should I have to answer these questions for you? the only person who needs to know this is the person I love and that’s Brady.
first of all, when have I claimed to be hot?
Out of all that, you ask a question about the hot part?
I’m not going to say anything about the whole boss thing but something must be said… It takes a lot of guts to put your life out here for us readers to judge you. It’s really easy for everyone to say they are so mortified by your actions and telling you that you need to change your ways. No one is perfect, but what I see is a woman that knows she did something wrong, and isn’t making any excuses. You may have been saying you were lacking attention, but you used that excuse when you were drunk and being unreasonable, which you admit. I believe you when you say you love Brady, why would you make that up?
Learn from your mistake, and try to always remember what type of person you want to be.
thank you. this actually means a lot
Well… Props for being so totally honest with Brady and owning your actions? I mean, the situation is sucky, obviously, but I’m glad you’re mature enough to see that.
I agree with earlier comments about how brave it is to put yourself out there flaws and all. That’s not something many of us would do. And I’m not going to judge you for your behavior. I’m older than you, have spent a lot of time working on myself, and am in a good relationship but I still struggle with the urge to seek attention and validation elsewhere when there’s trouble at home so I get it. But your boss? You gotta be careful with that. I’ve followed your blog from the beginning and I know this isn’t the first time you’ve crossed the line at work. I’m not judging you there either because I have my own skeletons, but it seems obvious that you’ve worked really hard to get to where you are in your career and I hate for you to lose everything you’re working for because of a lapse in judgement and a need for validation. I wish you and Brady all the best and I sincerely hope you can find better, healthier ways of getting the attention you want and need.
I totally get your issues and know that you need validation. I’ve said it time and time again. You are in a vicious cycle and you need to break it.
You admitted that you made a mistake. Now you have to validate Brady’s feelings too and understand it’s hard for him. You keep apologizing for the same mistake, so you need to work hard to show him that you can change.
What are you going to do to prevent it from happening again? What do you need from him?
Did you know that Brady was taking on more responsibilities at work? That’s the kind of thing couples should discuss. So, why doesn’t he share these things with you?
Going out with a married man is a big no-no, I wish Luke would’ve stayed with you. Be careful Reese because you are a pretty girl, that attracts a lot of sketchy men, but you don’t seem to know when to get out of difficult situations so it’s best to just avoid them.
Woman up and talk to Scott and tell him you can’t have a repeat from Sunday ever again because you have a boyfriend that you love and you can’t disrespect him like that ever again.
I agree with a lot of what is said here, except for one thing: To be careful because being pretty attracts a lot of sketchy men. No. Reese, you do not end up in these situations because you are pretty. Many pretty women create fabulous boundaries that no man, no matter how skeevy, would ever dare cross. Men do in fact have brains, to act as though they don’t because you’re hott is rather sexist. I have no doubt that you are gorgeous, and you apparently have a metabolism that many (me!) would envy. But no man would approach you or treat you in the manner that your current boss, past boss, or other inappropriate male relationships have if you didn’t nonverbally invite them to do so. How you carry yourself says more than stating that you have a partner. When you go out with other men who you do not have an established platonic relationship with, when you flirt verbally and physically, when you do not both verbally and physically shut down inappropriate touches and compliments… these are MASSIVE invitations. When you touch that guy’s arm, request that drink. When you spend most of your time shut in an office with your straight male coworker without anyone else present instead of staying in your respective offices, particularly when other coworkers make it clear they don’t feel comfortable joining you (Monica isn’t just avoiding that situation because she’s bratty, I promise). When you engage in unprofessional banter or utilize emojis in texts with coworkers or bosses. ALL OF THESE THINGS indicate that you are interested in receiving further individual attention of an inappropriate nature. You have basically non-verbally told Scott that you are very interested in having a potentially sexual relationship with him. When he told you that he was attracted TO YOU he was actually asking if you reciprocated his interest. When even then you failed to set a boundary and say that that wasn’t alright, or going home, you told him you were. And you know, I don’t honestly believe that you don’t subconsciously realize that. You encourage this behavior while perfectly sober, while in the office, and then act as if it’s this drunk mistake that only happened this time because Brady hasn’t been paying attention to you. You desperately need to own your actions. Or get on board with Brady behaving in the exact same way as you, because the double standard is horrifying. I am honestly so disappointed in you for this episode. You do not appear to respect yourself or others at all. You need to stop taking your lack of self esteem out on everyone around you and downsize your ego.
I’m sorry but I completely disagree. if a man is married and knows that I’m in a serious relationship, why would he assume any action of mine was an invitation? that’s ridiculous. I’ve never done anything that would make Scott think I’m interested in a sexual relationship with him. ridiculous!
I agree that some of Reese’s actions may have led Scott to believe that she was interested in him. Reese, I think it’s surprising that you think this idea is so ridiculous. From your posts it sounds like Scott is in an unhappy marriage and may even be cheating already. For someone who’s married to be cheating, I doubt he would take your relationship status as a barrier to further relations. Maybe all the other times the two of you have been drinking, the extra time spent together, and not calling him out on his flirting has led to him assuming you were down to hook up and as a result; that night of inappropriate touching & confession.
Scott is just sleazy though..if he were an upright married man then you wouldn’t have any issues, it would have just been a fun night. I don’t think a woman should have to be so cautious, analyze their actions, and take preventative steps but since there are men like him around…it would be safer to not entirely discount what Sarbear said as ridiculous
I just don’t agree. we’ve been out together one other time and other people were there. it’s not like we hang out outside of work all the time. because Scott is unhappy in his marriage I have to be cautious and make sure he doesn’t think any of my actions might mean I’m interested. I don’t agree. that shouldn’t be how it is
I agree that some of Reese’s actions may have led Scott to believe that she was interested in him. Reese, I think it’s surprising that you think this idea is so ridiculous. From your posts it sounds like Scott is in an unhappy marriage and may even be cheating already. For someone who’s married to be cheating, I doubt he would take your relationship status as a barrier to further relations. Maybe all the other times the two of you have been drinking, the extra time spent together, and not calling him out on his flirting has led to him assuming you were down to hook up and as a result; that night of inappropriate touching & confession.
Scott is just sleazy though..if he were an upright married man then you wouldn’t have any issues, it would have just been a fun night. I don’t think a woman should have to be so cautious, analyze their actions, and take preventative steps but since there are men like him around…it would be safer to not entirely discount what Sarbear said as ridiculous
Okay, I couldn’t comment on your comment. But what have you NOT done? Do you really think it is normal or appropriate to fraternize with your superiors in the manner you do? To send flirtatious text messages? And spending so much unnecessary one on one time with him at work wouldn’t necessarily mean much…. except it’s with a shut door and one of your coworkers has made it abundantly clear that she would be uncomfortable joining you. And you yourself have routinely pointed out that you think he cheats on his wife. And you yourself routinely get so close to cheating that it’s a bit ridiculous. Your indignation is 100% defensiveness and denial. There is no way that you think the way you conduct yourself with Scott via text, etc, is normal or acceptable. Otherwise I sincerely doubt that you would write about your interactions with him in such detail. You’ve been encouraging the guy for quite a while. He didn’t just randomly out of the blue go for you and you know it.
I never said that we work in our offices together with the door shut so you just assumed that I know how bad that would look. I don’t send him flirtatious messages…he sends them to ME.
I had an affair with a married man when I was 18. I was the assistant to the gen manager and he was a sales manager. It started around the holidays, we had lots of parties. I can’t even remember why, we are Latinos so we’re always celebrating. So I danced with everyone, I don’t drink so I was never drunk. But I was friendly with everyone, at 18 I was pretty innocent so I didn’t think anything of the attention I was getting from this older married man. I don’t know how it happened but we would call each other kitty cat, and he would call me that all the time and flirt with me and I would flirt back. He would always invite me to lunch but it never happened. Once when my boss was out of town he decided it was a good time to take me out to lunch. Something about his invite didn’t feel right so I invited another girl and she brought one of the sales guys. He was mad when he saw me coming to his car with my friends! Lunch was ok, but after that I just felt weird. So I decided to stop calling him kitty cat and to have a more professional relationship with him. He was pissed I didn’t sleep with him I guess because shortly after that I got fired and my boss told me that it looked like this guy and I had had an affair gone wrong cause we were so awkward around each other. Did I really have an affair with him? No, because I never let him touch me, but in his head things were happening that I wasn’t aware of. Men are pigs and he thought my friendliness was a green light for whatever. He was a married 30something he should’ve known better, right? But I take responsibility for my part in that relationship and I decided that you just don’t flirt with married men and you treat them differently out of respect for their wives and respect for myself.
Moral of the story Reese you need to take responsibility for your actions, you let him hold your hand, you let him caress your thigh, you let him tell you he liked you and didn’t say anything. Yes, he’s the married man that should know better, but in his head his advances were welcomed.
Reese your denial of not leading Scott on or making him feel by your actions (not stopping him from rubbing your arms, holding your hand, his hand on your thigh,etc.) you were fine with his advances is mind blowing. You’re now acting like you’re the victim in all this when the only one victimized by you and Scott’s actions are his wife and Brady. You’ve said multiple times that Scott is attracted to you and mentioned the inappropriate texts. You should have stopped him but you love the attention. This is an ongoing pattern for you. Unless you take responsibility and admit to yourself that you did something wrong and stop being indignant you will never grow and stop doing stupid shit like this. Didn’t something similar happen with your former boss? And what about the cop? The dude on the plane? Same shit different day and excuse.
This comment and this entire thread of replies is ON POINT! After reading this post, I didn’t understand how Reese treats someone she supposedly loves this way, but your guys’ explanations sum it up completely! Reese, you are not the victim in this situation, take what these women are saying and learn from it!
Oh, Reese! Why? Your boss of all people…
Oh, Reese! Why? Your boss of all people…I just hope you and Brady can work this out
I hope you both can work this out, Reese. I agree with another poster that it is very brave to put your life out there. Big hugs!
Despite the fact that there was poor behaviour (which Reese acknowledges) I still think you are growing, you told Brady straight away – which Reese 12 months ago probably wouldn’t have. I do think that Brady might be right in saying when his busy and can’t see you as much – this is when this stuff happens, which I think it’s just something you can deal with and really need too.
I really enjoy reading about your life Reese and i hope this negative stuff doesn’t stop you posting. It’s a bad day – not a bad relationship!
thank you. I really appreciate this!
I’m with Amy – I love your posts Reese even if I see things happening from miles away and cringe. Hey, you said you were sorry and there’s room for improvement so try to start off on a better foot!
It’s one thing to have drinks with your boss when other co-workers are around, you definitely shouldn’t be doing it just one-on-one. It looks bad, and sorry, but from everything you wrote, it sounds like he was making it pretty obvious that he was interested in something more than just a working relationship with you. When he was resting his hand on your thigh, why didn’t you push his hand away and say that you didn’t appreciate that? It was totally inappropriate, given that 1) he’s married, 2) you’re in a serious relationship 3) he’s your boss. Brady is right about this one. It does happen far too often for to continue apologizing, and if this is a cry for attention, how are you going to deal when you’re actually married? Brady has a career that takes up a lot of his time, and you either just have to accept it or move on, because it doesn’t sound like that is going to change. It’s just life. Also, it’s getting to be a pattern with you with regards to drinking way too much and then making poor choices. You can’t put all the blame on the alcohol all the time. It was irresponsible for you to get that drunk in the first place with your boss. I know you’re young and like to party, but I think both you and Brady really need to cut back on the drugs and alcohol. I think it’s really something that could and probably will be the reason your relationship with Brady ultimately fails.
Sooo I still love your blog. Trust me we have all had moments that we regret but don’t post them on a blog for people to comment on. That takes some major guts!!
This was not a moment to be proud of but you learn from it, DONT REPEAT IT and move on 🙂
You love Brady and you know that he knows that so that is all that really matters.
Don’t listen to the nasty haters!!! There are other readers that love to read the post 😊… Best wishes from rainy AZ
First off, I love your blog Reese! I feel like some of the other readers are attacking you. Shit like this is why some of my other bloggers have quit because of mean comments. I agree that the situation got out of hand but everyone makes mistakes. You had the balls to tell Brady what happened even though you knew he would be upset. Brady hasn’t always been an Angel. He was not forthcoming about that bitch Kara. They slept together and he never said anything. Reese had to ask him what happened with her. He never went to her and told her the truth flat out. From how Reese talks about Brady I do think she loves him. Who are we to tell her how she feels about him? Its already happened and there is no going back. You and Brady already talked about it. Talk to Scott face to face and let him know its never happening again and move forward. Looking forward to the next post!!!
Listen people. It’s pretty obvious that Reese knows her part in this situation with Scott is completely f*&ked up and is trying to own at least part of it. Otherwise she would have chosen two write about the situation in a way that would actually have painted her as some sort of victim here instead of someone drunk and stupid making questionable decisions in the moment.
Yes, she should have pushed his hands off of her each time he touched her inappropriately (massaging her neck, touching her thighs), not held hands in the cab, and should have quashed his advances when he told her that he was attracted to her and had a conversation with her about sexual partners (holy f*&king inappropriate, wow). But she has sober remorse now and hopefully knows that she needs to have the balls to go to him and address how none of it should have happened and will definitely not happen again. I truly think that her only crime is perhaps believing that her main attribute is being attractive to men. She’s more than that and better than that and I hope she believes it sometime soon. If not, there is no point in trying to be in a committed relationship with someone.
First I wanted to say how amazing I think you are for sharing so much of your life with us these past few years. I cannot imagine how that could be to share the raw and sometimes painful details and then have everyone voice their opinions. But thank you, I can relate to many things you have gone through. Hope everything is going well with Brady and work. Missed reading new posts!!