if i wasn’t a jealous psycho. 

Since our flight to New York was at 6 PM on Friday, I convinced Brady to take a short day on Friday and also Thursday so we could pack and clean and mentally prepare for the weekend.

So anyway, on Thursday I had Brady’s phone because I wanted to upload a picture to Instagram for him. I don’t know why he gave me that kind of freedom, but I mistakenly took advantage of the free reign. I went to his photo albums and scrolled way to the top. I was pretty unimpressed by the lack of interesting pictures in his phone until I scrolled past a video. It looked like someone’s butt was in the frame so out of curiosity, I pressed play.

It was a sex video. You could see whoever was taking the video (Brady) hitting a girl from the back with her ass taking up most of the screen. She was moaning loudly and kind of obnoxiously, but I couldn’t tell who it was from the video. I screamed.

Brady was standing a few feet away from me and lunged for his phone when he realized what was going on.

“Brady, you made a sex tape?” I squealed.

“That’s so old. I didn’t even know I still had it,” he said, once he had possession of his phone. His face was turning red and I could tell he was really embarrassed.

I started laughing uncontrollably. I couldn’t stop.

“Who is that?” I asked.

“No one,” Brady mumbled.

I don’t know why I found Brady’s sex tape so hilarious, but all I could do was laugh. He still won’t tell me who it was and refuses to speak about it. It’s too old to be Jessica and too recent to be Anna and it obviously isn’t me. I guess I don’t really care, but I just want to know. You have to be pretty close with someone to let them record you having sex.

Brady’s parents have been spending a lot of time in New York City recently and Brady and I had a trip to NYC planned for next month so we moved our flights to kill two birds with one stone. I’m not exactly sure why we were meeting them, but I just went along with it.

When we arrived on Friday evening, we checked into our room then headed out to Brady’s cousin’s place. Remember when I met Brady’s annoying cousin, Landon, last year? I don’t know why I even agreed to go hang out with him again. But I guess if Brady and I are going to get married then I need to get along with his family.

Landon lives in Brooklyn (obviously since he’s such a hipster) in the cutest brownstone. I honestly though he might live in a basement or something just to seem more cultured, but nope.

There were already a few friends there when we got there and they were all sitting on the couch watching one of the friends play the guitar. It was weird. Brady and I sat at the tiny two person dining table and eventually Landon asked if we wanted a shot. We said yes.

Landon poured six shots of Fireball, two for each of us. So disgusting and desperate. I demanded a real drink after that and he handed me a beer.

So we sat there listening to the guitar and drinking while more friends showed up. I was really, really surprised when about an hour later, Brady’s ex, Anna showed up. Like, are you kidding me?

She came in squealing and threw her arms around Landon. Everyone calls him Bernie or Bern for some reason. So she’s like, “Bernie!” hugged him and then kissed him on both cheeks. Landon is a little bit overweight and kind of clammy all the time so I was grossed out. I’ve never seen her so enthusiastic about anything. 

Brady stood up to greet her and she hugged him also. When they pulled away, she waved at me and said, “Good to see you.”

She’d dyed her hair darker, but still hadn’t gotten any color to her skin and her hazel eyes really stood out. She looked like a witch. It was creepy.

“Yeah!” I said back. Honestly, I wasn’t trying to be rude or bitchy, I just didn’t know what to say. 

Anna went to make her rounds and Brady sat back down. I reached over to grab Brady’s hand and I accidentally grabbed his crotch and he jumped. We both laughed.

“Can’t you save that for a little bit later?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No.”

Brady grabbed my hand and put it on his dick, which was growing hard. I started rubbing it and we just stared at each other until Landon shouted his name. We looked up.

“Dude. Brexit?” Landon said.

They all started talking about it and I knew better than to say anything so I just sat there. Eventually one of Landon’s friends suggested we play a drinking game, thank goodness, so we pulled the table out so more people could sit down.

We played a card game and Brady and Anna kept making weird eye contact. I don’t know if I would have noticed it if I wasn’t a jealous psycho, but I just kept watching them. So much so that I wasn’t paying any attention to the game and kept having to drink.

Once the game was over, I decided to run to the bathroom before the next game started. I went in and did my business, then sat on the toilet for a little while checking Instagram, Snapchat, etc. I finally opened the bathroom door to go back out there and Brady was standing there waiting.

“What the fuck!” I gasped because he startled me.

Brady smirked and then nudged me back into the small bathroom, pushing the door shut behind us.

“Why were you in here for so long?” he asked.

I shrugged. I turned around to look at myself in the mirror and Brady pushed his pelvis against me. I gave him a look in the mirror.

“What are you trying to do?” I asked.

“You. Now,” he said with a straight face.

I smirked at him. I was wearing a pair of One Teaspoon bandit shorts and Brady reached around to unbutton them. I grabbed his hand.

“What? I can’t wait until later,” he said. “You can’t touch me like that and then expect me to wait.”

“Yes, I can and you’re gonna have to,” I smiled.

Brady groaned and continue trying to unbutton my shorts. I finally let him and he yanked them down and made me step out of them. He turned me around so I was facing him, knealt down and started kissing my thighs. How am I supposed to say no to that? I couldn’t.

Brady slid my thong down to my ankles and motioned for me to step out of them.

“Are you sure?” I asked. I felt weird about being in his cousin’s bathroom basically naked.

“Come on,” he said, sounding impatient.

I did as instructed and Brady proceeded to eat me out. I grabbed onto his hair and desperately tried to keep quiet. Brady’s hair has grown out and is cut kind of like Justin Timberlake’s. Super hipster and adorable. He keeps mentioning meaning to go get it chopped off, but he looks pretty hot so I tell him not to. And that night, he had a little bit of stubble on his face so he looked so good. Usually Brady shaves everyday so I’m not used to him having any facial hair. It’s light and blondish, but still. Sexy.

Brady legitimately enjoys going down on me. It’s obvious when someone enjoys giving oral and when they’re doing it just because they feel obligated to.

A few minutes later, we heard Landon call, “Baby Brady?”

I froze, but Brady continued. He looked up at me and moaned and I almost lost it.

“Baby Brady?” Landon called again. “Are you and the girl coming to the bar?”

Again Brady didn’t even indicate that he’d heard Landon so I said, “Just a minute!”

About a minute later, I came and Brady stood up. “Okay, let’s go.”

“K.” I put my clothes back on and Brady started to open the door to leave, but I stopped him. “Fix your hair!”

It was so disheveled and messy. Brady caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and splashed some water in his hair to push it back then he was ready to walk back out there.

Everyone was waiting and watched us walk out there. Actually so embarrassing.

“Yeah, we’re ready,” Brady said.

We walked across the street to a super crowded dive bar. Brady and Anna started talking at the bar while waiting to order drinks and to my surprise, Landon invited me to take a shot with him.

I didn’t even ask what it was and just took the shot. It was clear and I assumed it was just tequila or vodka or something. It was disgusting and I made a face when we finished.
“Ew. What was that?” I asked.

Landon threw a meaty arm around my shoulder. “Everclear, baby! Go big or go home!”

Ugh. I don’t think shots of Everclear are even legal. I decided that it was probably the last drink I needed for the night and sat in the barstool next to where Brady was standing.

I spent the next hour or so rubbing his back and whispering stuff to him before he finally turned around and asked if I was ready to go back to the hotel. I couldn’t nod fast enough.

Brady closed our tab and announced that we were leaving and Anna kissed him on the cheek. I leaned around him and gave her a look and she gave me a startled smile.

“I hope you enjoy your trip,” she said to both of us.

“We will. I hope you enjoy your life,” I said back. 

Anna giggled and gave Brady a puzzled look. I grabbed his hand and dragged him out of there. 

“I hate her,” I announced on our cab ride back to the hotel back.

And then I immediately passed out. Brady informed me that as we were getting out I told the cab driver that I loved him and I also told the hotel concierge that I loved him. I don’t remember that.

The next morning, we woke up to get ready because we were meeting up with his parents. They were meeting with a realtor to look at property then we were going to lunch. After we were ready, we got the bright idea to get tequila for breakfast. We got on Google maps and found a liquor store within walking distance. We got a bottle of José, a bottle of lemonade and a bottle of water. And then, like actual bums, we went in an alley and poured the water out of the bottle and replaced it with the tequila.

There was still a little bit of tequila leftover so we took turns chugging it until it was gone. An actual low point in my life. I was feeling pretty tipsy and giggly after that. It was around 10 AM at this point and a pizza food cart had just opened so I insisted we go. While we were standing on the curb smacking on pizza, Brady’s mom called.

“Yeah?” he answered. Obviously he was feeling the alcohol too because he would normally never speak to his mom like that.

“We’re on our way. Be there soon,” Brady said.

We hailed a cab and finished off our pizza on the way there. Then we passed the water bottle back and forth because we just weren’t drunk enough yet. When we arrived and Brady gave the cab driver a $20 tip, I knew we were probably good.
Brady’s parents were waiting for us outside the building. His mom watched while we got out of the cab and then tapped her wrist super dramatically and scowled at us. The woman is just never in a good mood.

“Hi!” I greeted them, walking ahead of Brady.

His mom didn’t reach out to hug me so I put my hand out to shake her hand. She shook mine. His dad wanted a hug though and it wasn’t until I hugged him that I realized he had lost a bit of weight. Poor guy. 

“I thought I said ten o’clock,” I heard the mom say to Brady.

“I can’t remember. We are here now though,” Brady said. They hugged.

“Let’s head up. Sue is waiting,” Brady’s mom said and we followed her into the building. 

I’m not exactly sure why Brady’s parents are trying to buy a place in New York, but apparently they’ve been looking for a few months now. The apartment they were looking at was on the 37th floor and was one of two apartments on the floor.
The lady showing the apartment, Sue, was waiting for us and Brady’s mom went into the main living area to talk to her. Brady and I made a pit stop in the huge bathroom right off the foyer.

“I am literally drunk,” I told him.

“Literally?” he mocked me, smiling.

I kissed him. I pulled away and Brady grabbed my ass. 

“Hey, where are you going?” he asked me.

“To go suck up to your mother,” I answered.

“That isn’t gonna help at this point,” Brady informed me which didn’t register to me until later. Does he mean that his mom already hates me?

He started trying to feel me up through my dress and I smacked his hand away then went back out there to join the group.

We toured the apartment (it was super nice and rather large), but Brady’s mom said she was looking for something a little more homey. She didn’t want to live in such a huge building.

After that, a car came to take us to lunch not too far away. We probably could have walked. It was a bougie little spot with a rooftop and since it was nice out, we requested a table outside on the rooftop. Brady’s mom made the host move our table to a more shaded area, requested an umbrella to shade us from the sun and when she discovered that they didn’t actually have table umbrellas, she demanded we be moved indoors. 

After we were finally seated to her satisfaction, she ordered a bottle of prosecco before the server even brought out a menu or wine list.

The table was quiet while we scanned the menus. Brady and I were texting back and forth and by the time the server came back to take our order, I hadn’t even decided on anything. I just asked for a house salad.

“Do you want wine?” Brady’s mom asked, once the server came back with the bottle.

I nodded and she kind of rolled her eyes and motioned for the guy to pour a glass for me too. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at her. 

“I’m glad the two of you could make it this weekend,” Brady’s dad said. His mom nodded in agreement which was the nicest thing I’d seen her do all day.

“Us too! It worked out well since we were going to come next month anyway,” I said.

“Now, what suddenly makes you want to get married?” Brady’s mom asked. She looked at me. “Is it true that you want to get married?”

I nodded. 

Brady glanced at me and said, “Reese and I have discussed it for a while now so it isn’t a sudden decision, Mom.”

Hahaha at “discussed it for a while.”

“Well this is the first I’ve heard of it. I even asked you if that was something you saw in your future.”

“We’ve thought it through, don’t worry. We don’t need to be lectured or anything at this point. We even saw a counselor. Like a therapist or whatever,” Brady said. I realized, to my horror, that he was kind of slurring.

“Yeah, we saw a couples therapist. She’s great. And we’ve been going to church with our married friends too because they said their relationship with God has helped their relationship with each other,” I put in. I was pretty proud of myself for that statement.

Brady’s mom just looked at me.

“How do your parents feel?” Brady’s dad asked me. 

“Fine. They love Brady so they’re excited, obvi. Ously.” I realized Brady’s parents probably wouldn’t understand or appreciate “obvi” so I caught myself.

“That’s wonderful. We’d love to be able to spend more time with them. If our children are going to be joined together forever, then we’d better get used to each other,” Brady’s dad laughed.

I smiled at him for being so open to the idea. 

Brady suddenly announced that he was going to the bathroom and got up. He walked away slowly and I could tell he was drunk and trying hard not to be obvious about it. 

Brady’s mom took a sip of her wine. “I think it’s great that you and my son are wanting to settle down with each other.” I noted the way she said “my son” possessively. “You will have marriage counseling with our family pastor before you even think of expecting a ring from him. There are things going on in Chicago that we will just not tolerate in this family.”

What the fuck was she even talking about? Us living together? After we are married, it won’t even be an issue anymore.

“Totally. We’d love to meet with your pastor. I bet he’s great.” I took a sip of my wine.

“I want your mother’s telephone number to discuss this, as well,” Brady’s mom demanded.

“Sure,” I said coolly. “Do you want me to text it to you?”

She looked confused. “Okay.”

When Brady got back, his mom kept talking about what we needed to do and figure out before we were allowed to even think of getting engaged. Have we talked about where we will live? Our career goals? Was I okay with moving for his career? Did we plan on joining a church? Our drunk asses answered her like pros.

After lunch and way too much wine, Brady and I wanted to go nap, but his mom decided to take us to a Barnes and Noble because she wanted to buy some books for us. What the fuck.

We got in the car and Brady and shared the rest of the tequila in the backseat. Precisely what we needed. When we got to Barnes and Noble, I picked up a bunch of recipe books from the bargain aisle and put them in my basket.

“For when I’m a stay at home wifey,” I announced when Brady and I went back and joined his parents. His mom just looked at me.

“I think this one will be good for the two of you to read together. Perhaps take on one chapter a night and discuss it. I’ll see if there are any worksheets online you can printout,” Brady’s mom said, holding up a big hardback book with flowers on the front.

She got one for both me and Brady and then got a book specifically for me. Something about being a Christian wife. It was kind of insulting.

“What did your parents make you do before y’all got married?” I asked Brady’s mom after we left the store.

“My husband’s family and my family had spent a great deal of time together before we decided to get married. You know, a marriage isn’t just between two people. It’s between two families. And God,” Brady’s mom said.

“Cute,” I replied.

Later on in the evening, Brady’s parents finally dropped us back off at our hotel. We were leaving early Sunday morning though so Brady’s dad suggested they treat us to dinner at the restaurant in our lobby. I couldn’t even hide my eye roll.

Brady and I were sobering up and exhausted by this point and didn’t contribute much to the dinner conversation. I got some sort of poached egg and asparagus dish, but honestly I needed something heavier since I hadn’t eaten much throughout the day.

“I really hope you two enjoy the book and take something from it. Marriage is a lifetime commitment so you have to put the work in before and during,” Brady’s mom said.

Brady and I both grunted in response.

After I finished the last bite of my food, I immediately started getting nauseous.

“I’m literally going to vomit,” I announced because everyone needed to know.

“Literally?” I heard Brady say next to me, but I didn’t have time for teasing.

I jumped up and saw the server arriving and Brady’s mom asked her to direct me to a restroom.

“What is wrong with her?” I heard her ask as I dashed away.

So I threw up my entire life and cried because I was embarrassed. I texted Brady, “What did your mom say?” 

And he replied, “Tell her you’re allergic to something in the food.”

I pulled myself to go back out there and Brady’s mom glared at me as I sat back down.

“I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to something I just ate,” I said, following Brady’s instructions.

“Oh, really?” his mom said, crossing her arms.

Later on, Brady told me that after I left, she said, “Is she pregnant? Is that why you’re suddenly in a hurry to marry her?” And started yelling at him about premarital sex. So glad I got to miss that.

As we walked out of the restaurant though, she flat out asked me, “Are you pregnant?” but she asked so Brady and his dad couldn’t hear.

“No. I’m on the pill,” I told her. 

And her mouth just dropped open, but she didn’t say anything. Maybe TMI?

After Brady’s parents left, we got in bed and slept like babies until the morning. I’m still trying to figure out if this weekend was good or bad. I mean, overall it sounds like Brady’s parents are okay with the idea of us getting married and his mom seems to want to help which is nice. Even if she is going to be a little bit overbearing, at least she wants us to work out. It’s not like she’s trying to stop it. You know what I’m nervous about? Brady’s mom and my mom talking. I didn’t tell Brady’s mom that my parents are separated, but I’m afraid my mom will. She has no filter.

I’m super busy with work this week, but I’ll try to update again before the weekend. I have much more drama to tell y’all about! 


it seems premature.

Hey y’all. Today was so fun. Brady and I got brunch with Kendra and John. For Father’s Day, I got Brady and Tucker matching outfits from Brooks Brothers (this harness for Tucker and this shirt for Brady) and I insisted they both wear them to brunch. Brady protested a lot, but I finally won and took a ton of pictures to frame and also to display at our wedding and in our new house. It was just so adorable that I couldn’t help myself.

We ended up going to this vegan place up north near the lake. We had to change our original location because I insisted we find a place that allowed dogs because I needed everyone to see Brady and Tucker in their outfits. Brady was so embarrassed and I just don’t understand why.

“Oh, hi Tucker,” Kendra greeted us. She picked Tucker up and he sat in her lap for the entire meal.

“You know, dogs love pregnant women. They can just sense it,” I said.

Kendra smiled widely. “We were actually thinking of rescuing a dog. Probably something big. Maybe a lab mix.”

“But your place isn’t very big. The poor thing will want room to move around. And with a baby on the way…” I said.

“Yeah, but you know, the larger the dog, the lazier it is,” John said.

I suddenly got an idea. I turned to Brady. “In a few years, we should get another dog. After we’ve moved into our bigger place. We will have Tuck and a like, a husky or something.”

Before Brady could even say anything John said, “I can’t wait to see you dressed up with two dogs, man,” and started laughing.

I glared at him.

“Yeah, maybe,” Brady said. “I don’t want to take on too much.”

“It’ll be fine. That or we can have a baby right away,” I said. I glanced affectionately at Brady before smiling at Kendra and John.

Kendra let out a little laugh. “Reese, I have a hard time imagining you having a baby.”

I gave her a dirty look. “Well, that’s rude.”

“No, I mean it changes your life. Everything isn’t about you anymore, it’s about your baby. And as an only child, I don’t think you fully understand that. It isn’t just about dressing it up in cute clothes.”

Kendra hasn’t even had her baby (she hasn’t even had her first doctor’s appointment yet) and she’s already acting like she’s better than me. It’s so annoying. I know that life changes after having a baby which is why I have been on birth control for years. Duh!

Anyway, the other night Brady and I met up after work to have appetizers and drinks. Sometimes you just want to drink. We sat at the bar and ordered a pitcher of beer, mozzarella sticks and fries. We sat there talking about our days and laughing and having fun.

There was a guy sitting next to me at the bar who was also participating in a game of pool and he kept getting up and screaming at all the people he was playing with.

Finally I said, “Wow, are those your friends? I bet if I talked to my friends like that I’d get my way more often.”

He was an older man named Rich and not long into our conversation he informed me that he’s a Donald Trump supporter.

Immediately I got excited and elbowed Brady. “My boyfriend is a Trump supporter too!”

Brady glared at me before reaching out to shake Rich’s hand. Brady actually isn’t a Trump supporter and doesn’t want to identify as a Republican or Democrat, but I still give him shit about Donald Trump because technically, he’s registered as a Republican.

I’m not sure how or why, but we hung out with Rich for the rest of the evening and he ended up picking up our $145 bar tab. So pretending to be a Trump supporter pays off I guess.

Speaking of Trump, apparently Brady told his mom that he wanted to propose to me. I don’t know why he thought it was a good idea to tell her, but obviously she didn’t like it at all. He told her over the phone and she said, “Excuse me? You are not. We know nothing about her or her family.”

And then she said, “You will not do anything until both of you meet with our pastor.”

Brady relayed the story to me and tried to really vague, but I can just imagine what she said and the tone she used. She kept asking him a ton of questions (When does he want to propose? When do we want to get married? Do we plan to stay in Chicago? Am I pregnant?) and basically just freaked out. So now we are going to New York to see his parents next weekend. I don’t understand why Brady told his mom. It seems so premature. Like obviously, we’re going to get married, but I wanted to have a lot of it figured out before telling his parents. My parents will totally understand (especially because they adore Brady), but Brady’s just aren’t the same. I feel like his mom is going to do everything in her power to make sure it doesn’t happen. I feel like Brady’s mom wishes he was still with Anna. She’s smart and demure, polite and her parents are missionaries. Who wouldn’t want their son to marry that?

Oh! I have gossip. I think Scott is having an affair. He’s married, but he hardly ever talks about his wife. Sometimes I forget that she even exists. I had to beg him to see a picture a few weeks ago. He’s really open about checking out other girls, but I thought nothing of it (because men are pigs). Monica told me about the affair and at first I didn’t believe her because she gossips a lot (and honestly, I’m not trying to get involved in that even though it’s so addictive). But she pointed out the warning signs to me: he used to be the last person to leave the office every night, but lately he leaves at 4:30 or 5. Scott is a control freak so it’s really weird that he would leave that early. And a couple of times when he left, his wedding ring was off. And Scott is still married because his wife stopped by like last week. Plus he’s just been super happy. He’s generally a pleasant person, but lately he’s been even more pleasant than normal. Like walking around smiling, wanting to stop and talk all the time, kind of almost slacking off to socialize with us. And he’s on his phone  lot. I would assume it’s work related like checking his email, but he’s on it while he’s sitting in the front of the computer too. It’s bizarre. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just thinking the worst, but I totally think he’s cheating.

Let’s see, what else? Carly and Chris are coming for the July 4th holiday weekend which I’m so excited about. Carly and I haven’t talked much recently, but I really do miss her. And I think we need some bonding time. I’ve already made one full day of plans for us. I can’t wait.


we’re going ring shopping. 

After Brady and I made up, we were back in honeymoon mode. We were both going out of our way to be really nice. It was like we were competing to see who could be nicer. And I think both of us felt really guilty about how we’d been treating each other.  He got me a card and wrote a short but sweet message in it and when we had our talk I think I made him cry. I’ve never seen Brady cry so I don’t know.  

By the weekend, we’d made plans to sell some furniture, have people over on Saturday and go on two trips next month. 

On Friday, I was out shopping and I ran into my old coworker, Whitney. Do y’all remember her? She was such an annoying kiss ass. We saw each other and both did a double take then she walked over to talk to me.

“Hey,” she said. “What are you doing here?”

“Just picking up some things,” I told her, holding up my armful of clothes.

“Cool. I’ve never been in this store. They have cool stuff.”

I nodded. 

She just stood there looking around so I said, “So how have you been?”

Whitney turned back to me excitedly.

“Really well! I got a new job.”

“Oh. What are you doing now?” I asked.

“I’m an assistant at an accounting firm. I’m basically the office bitch, but I get paid way more and I have better benefits.”


“Yeah. I miss some of the people though. Especially Luke. I miss him so much.”

I didn’t even know that Luke and Whitney knew each other. 

“I miss him too,” I said. 

Whitney kept standing there so I kept trying to keep the conversation going, mostly just asking her things about her life. And she kept happily answering. It was almost like she was trying to convince me of how happy she is now.

Eventually I started to inch away and she was like, “I’ll come find you before I leave to say bye.”

And I may or may not have spent an hour in the fitting room just to avoid seeing her again. 

That night, Brady and I had ice cream for dinner, tequila for dessert then we sat around watching movies and not moving from the couch. We fell asleep like that and when I woke up Brady was already awake and making breakfast.

Everyone began arriving around three. Guess who had the nerve to show up? Tia or Tiana or whatever the hell her name is. She’s friends with Brady’s guy friends and walked in with them. After Brady explained her existence to me, it bothered me less than it would have, but I still wasn’t feeling her. And she has a septum piercing and wore a crocheted crop top, no bra and booty shorts. I get that it was hot AF, but still.

Kendra and John came and I wanted to complain to Kendra about Tia, but she just wanted to talk about her baby and everything she shouldn’t do since she’s pregnant, but she also had to be discrete because she hasn’t announced it.

Lindsey offered to make her a drink, but Kendra said, “Well, I can’t because… I really just can’t.”

It was kind of cute.

At one point, I was standing in a group with my hubby, Lindsey, Tia, and one of their friends named Ian.

Tia pulled a little baggie out of her purse and started packing a bowl without even stopping the conversation. Just so nonchalant. They started passing it around the circle and it seemed unsanitary so I went and hung out with Kendra for a little while. Eventually she got too hot and they went home so I went to find Brady. 

He was sitting at the patio with a hot finance friend and I sat on Brady’s lap.

“I’m going to marry you,” he greeted me.

We haven’t talked about marriage in a while especially after our huge falling out, but in the morning I mentioned that we should have a destination wedding and Brady agreed.

“Okay,” I shrugged like it was a normal thing to say.

“So we should get engaged in the fall. Like after your birthday, but before Thanksgiving,” he went on.

“You don’t even know what kind of ring I want,” I pointed out.

“We can find a time to go ring shopping,” he said.

Brady’s dad is ill and I think Brady is now freaking out about possibly losing him. And maybe he wants to rush and get married so both his parents can see. I don’t know.

Kendra said it sounds like we are rushing and I explained that we’ve talked about marriage forever.

“Honestly, I was just waiting for him. I’ve been ready from the moment we met,” I said.

Kendra laughed at me. “It just seems hasty.”

“It’s Brady’s decision. He’s the most logical, methodical person I know.”

And she couldn’t argue with that. 

And my mom is ecstatic, obviously. She’s been texting me about venues in Houston even though I told her that we are having a destination wedding. And she asked, “Does your dad know?”

They got together and cleaned the house and separated some belongings a few weeks ago and I guess it went well. Now they’ve both been expressing interest in each other to me, but neither of them will talk to the other because they’re so stubborn. 

After having people over on Saturday, we’ve been mostly staying to ourselves. Do y’all remember the conversation that started our big fight? The one where I was nagging Brady to buy a new place? Well, now he is willing to. When we had our talk he apologized for his “dramatic” reaction and gave in. But I told him we wouldn’t buy anything unless we truly, truly love it. So now I’ve been sending Brady listings daily and everything is overpriced in his opinion so I don’t know how it’s going to work.

I don’t have anything else to report. I’m sorry. Life is boring. I’ll try to post again soon. Bye!


i knew i shouldn’t have stopped talking to him.  

Hey y’all! Sorry for depressing everyone with my last three posts.

Scott and I had a progress meeting on Monday. He had Monica sit in on the meeting which was so annoying and so stupid because technically she and I are on the same level. Plus I couldn’t fully tell Scott how I felt because she was sitting there.

“Reese, I think you’re great,” Scott said. “You know what you’re doing and what the business needs are.”

Monica nodded.

“But I just want more from you. This is your time to really prove yourself to Mike and everyone else. I don’t want you to coast,” he continued.

I nodded obiedently.

“I totally agree,” Monica said. “The potential is there, but I’m afraid you might be getting overshadowed by your team.”

Honestly, she had a lot of nerve even inputting her opinion. Monica doesn’t know how to do anything except order people around and I’m not just saying that because I’m bitter.

After the meeting, Monica walked me to my office and was like, “That went well, didn’t it?”
Was she kidding?

“I guess it could be worse,” I said. “How did yours go?”
Monica gave me a huge smile. “Really well. I got a raise!”

“Oh?” I said.

“Yeah. Fifteen percent!”

And that’s exactly why you don’t mention salary in an office because there was no way I wasn’t going to mention that. I get that she’s been there longer than me, but fifteen percent is a huge raise, right?

But like Scott said, I did want to prove myself to Mike too and grabbed a 20 oz Redbull and worked like a maniac for about a few hours. I got a lot done and sent out some reports and projections. Scott immediately replied to one of them saying, “You did this wrong.”

So much for proving myself. It irritated me though so I marched down to Scott’s office. He was on a conference call and I sat there and waited until it ended.

When he hung up, Scott said, “Hey! What can I help you with?”

“Yeah, you said I did this wrong so I need to know the correct way to do it,” I said. Obviously I’d printed out the email and brought it with me.

“Of course. Grab a pen.”

And then Scott showed me what I did wrong which was literally that I forgot to indent. It was so silly. He could tell that I thought it dumb because he said, “Small details count!” in a sing songy voice.

I rolled my eyes.

“So, I’m glad we were able to touch base about your performance today. Is there anything you need from me?” he went on.
I practically cracked my knuckles as I prepared to lay into him.

“I need you to show me things before I execute them incorrectly and get called out for it. It isn’t fun to get told, ‘you’re going that wrong,’ daily especially when you haven’t been taught the correct way to do it,” I said.

Scott nodded. “Oh wow, okay.”

“And if you want me to run this department, let me run it. I don’t work well with you micromanaging me and critiquing everything I do. If you show me something once, I’ll have it and you won’t have to check on me every second. And I can talk to Mike on my own. I don’t need you to monitor me or write a script.”

“I just like to have my hand in everything, Reese. I don’t mean to smother you.”
“Well, you are.”

“Okay, well. I know you can handle it on your own. I’ll let you reach out to me if you need anything.”
So I’ve committed to giving it my all. I’ve been trying, but I can try harder. And I kind of have to after what I said to Scott.

I left before mentioning Monica’s raise, but later on, Scott sent me a picture of a form he was submitting for my raise. Not fifteen percent, but better than nothing. 
I was so caught up in everything that I forgot to mention that I talked to Carly last week. When her name popped up on my screen I figured she was calling to yell at me about Brady.

“Come visit,” she said when I answered.

“Why?” I said back.
“I have no one to hang out with,” she sighed. “And Chris is actually kind of boring.”

“Well, you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with him,” I pointed out. 

“I know and I am,” she snapped. “But I need to spend time with other people too.”

“Don’t you have coworkers you could hang out with?”

“They don’t drink.”

I had to laugh. I guess that is kind of a deal breaker.

“How are you not tied up with wedding planning?” I asked.

“My mom is handling all of it.” She gasped. “But get this. My mom has been pressuring Kyle to settle down for a while and I think he’s feeling the heat because he’s talking about proposing to his girlfriend.”

For a second, I didn’t even think Kyle had a girlfriend. Then I remembered Preston telling me about him dating Julia’s little sister.

“Oh. Isn’t she like young?” I said.

“She’s a total airhead. I hate her. She graduated last year and thinks it’s okay to still be unemployed. She’s about to pick up a job as a hostess, but she just parties nonstop. My dad took Kyle to our jeweler last week though.”

Unemployed and about to get engaged? Sign me up. I knew I shouldn’t have stopped talking to Kyle when I did. I’m kidding.

Oh, apartment update! The offer my dad and I put in wasn’t immediately accepted because they had multiple offers. So they wanted our best and final offer plus a little bit more information. We gave it to them and now we are still waiting to hear back. I don’t think I’ll get it because there are multiple offers and the place was already over my price range anyway. So I’ve been looking at other places even though I don’t think I’ll move anymore. I know, I’m so back and forth.

I talked to Brady too. I’ll tell y’all all about it obviously, but we aren’t breaking up. Neither of us want to because in general, we both make each other happy. But Brady is hurting and I’ve definitely hurt him. I don’t want to contribute to that! And Tucker doesn’t deserve divorced parents. 

I hope everyone everyone is having a good week so far. Talk to you later!


we aren’t mentioning him again.

So after Brady and I made up, he started ignoring me again. At first I didn’t think it was deliberate – he’d stay at work late and not get home until I was sleeping then leave for work before I even woke up. One night I decided to stay up and confront him. I sat on the living room couch for about an hour waiting for him to get home and then I finally heard the front door open. I stood up at the entrance of the living room anticipating his arrival.

And then Brady appeared. He glanced at me, gave me a polite smile and then kept on walking. If I had any doubt that he was ignoring me, that gave me my answer. I didn’t know what to do. I sat back down on the couch and waited until I heard him get in the shower and then I went to bed.

The next few nights, similar things happened. I started to just avoid him all together, making sure to be in bed with Tucker by 9:30 so I could miss Brady.

On Friday after work, I did some light shopping. While I was out trying on shoes, I decided I was going to just talk to Brady. We were being ridiculous and it was all stupid. I texted him, “Are you home?” and he didn’t immediately respond. I grabbed my bags and headed home.

When I walked in, Brady was sitting on the couch next to a girl. She was pretty. Asian with Kylie Jenner lips and a messy bun on top of her head. She saw me and smiled then turned to Brady excitedly like she had gossip to share with him. Brady just stared at me and bit his lip. I stood there stupidly for a minute, not exactly sure what to do. Like, do I introduce myself? Who the hell was that? Was that why he was suddenly never home?

Finally, when I felt like I was going to cry, I walked away. I went to the bedroom and dropped my bags then paced for a few seconds. Brady walked in after me and I stopped. We stared at each other.

“Brady, do you want another drink?” the girl called.

“Hey,” Brady said to me, ignoring the Kylie wannabe in the kitchen. “We’re going out. Do you want to come?”

“No,” I scoffed because the question was stupid.

“Okay,” Brady said and just continued standing there.

“Yeah, so have fun,” I said.

He nodded and walked out.

After he left, I threw a silent fit. I cried for approximately one minute before deciding that it was my own fault for being a standoffish bitch. I pulled myself together and decided to shower and get ready to enjoy the night on my own.

I got out of the shower and put on a cute romper because I was meeting Preston and his friends in Boystown. In the middle of curling my hair, I heard Lindsey come into the bedroom.

“Reese!” she called and I walked out of the bathroom to meet her. “You look so cute! Ugh, you always have the cutest outfits.”

She hugged me and said, “Brady said you weren’t coming out!”

“I’m hanging out with my gay best friend in Boystown,” I explained.

Lindsey pouted. “Well, if you get bored, meet up with us!”

I told her I would. Once I was fully dressed and ready to go I decided to go prance around the house because I looked good and I wanted Kylie Lips to see me. She’d been wearing a plain t-shirt dress and flat sandals.

All of Brady’s other friends greeted me happily and I made sure he was seeing how popular I am amongst his circle. It didn’t seem like Brady told anyone, even Lindsey, that we were having relationship issues. Which I guess I wouldn’t expect him to. I paid special attention to how Brady and the girl, whose name I gathered was Tia, interacted, but there was nothing really to see. I didn’t like how she was waltzing around the kitchen and making drinks like she owned the place though. Definitely wasn’t her first time over.

Someone suggested we all take shots so we did then I called my Uber to pick me up. On my way out, Brady followed me and said, “Hey,” really quietly almost like he didn’t even want me to hear him.

I turned to him.

“I hope you have fun,” he said. And then he stuck his hands in his pockets awkwardly. “Um, do you want to take my card?”

Did I look that poor?

“No,” I said like it was the most ridiculous question ever because it kind of was.

Brady nodded.

“My driver is here. See you later,” I said and left.

I really didn’t want to go and I probably should have stayed home. I sat in the booth and drank margaritas while Preston and his friends danced. Pretty early on, I decided to call it a night and Preston pouted a ton before allowing me to leave. It was a partying night so I couldn’t exactly explain to him what was going on and why I wasn’t even in the mood.

I got home and was secretly afraid I was going to find Brady and Tia in bed together. But thank God I didn’t. I grabbed a bag of Doritos and got in bed.

I didn’t hear Brady come home on Friday night and I woke up pissed about it. I got up and stomped to the kitchen to start making breakfast, being extra loud with the pots and pans because Brady wasn’t home and I was upset. I called Tucker to go outside and on the way to the door, I saw Brady passed out on the living room couch in his clothes from the night before. Oops.

A few hours later, I was cleaning the bedroom and I heard Brady finally wake up. He showered in the main bathroom and I knew he’d have to come to the bedroom to get dressed. So I got the hell out of there. I went down to the basement and worked on abs for a little while.

That night I went to a bar with Lexi and our friend Alyssa. I was exhausted from my day of avoiding Brady and I needed to drink. We sat at the bar checking all the preppy guys, but none of them even came over to talk to us. Rude. I didn’t care though, I was just there to drink.

I had brunch with Kendra and John on Sunday. They demanded to know where Brady was and I informed them that he was out jogging with Lindsey which was true. They’d decided to go on a ten mile run to ease into the summer which was just so sickening. Obviously I declined their invitation to tag along.

On Monday, Memorial Day, I went to a cookout party with Lexi and Alyssa. It was at a mansion out in the suburbs, had a professional bartender and vegetarian food options. My kind of party. Lexi ended up meeting a guy there. He is a bit older than us, divorced, but no children, and works as an anesthesiologist. Such a good catch for Lexi!

Alyssa noticed that I was being quiet (i. e. not myself) and asked what was wrong.

“Nothing. I’m just hungry still,” I said. Which was partly true. Everyone was eating burgers and they looked delicious, but it was so against my diet.

Eventually, I just caved and grabbed a burger, piling it high with mustard, ketchup, pickles and everything else on the condiment table. After the week I had, I thought it would cheer me up.

It didn’t.

When I got home later that evening, Brady wasn’t home, but I’d seen on Snapchat that he and Lindsey were at a party. I showered and got in bed without even putting on clothes.

I’m not sure how long I’d been sleeping when I heard Brady come home. I rolled over and pulled the blanket over my head, trying to ignore him so I could go back to sleep. I was dozing off again when I heard Brady walk in and felt him get in bed next to me. What the hell?

At first, I was just going to ignore him. But then he spooned me and started kissing my neck and shoulders. I kind of tried to inch away, but honestly, I didn’t try that hard. I let him kiss me and fondle me a little but before I turned to face him. It was dark, but from the little light coming from the window I could see his cute face.

I didn’t say anything though and neither did he. We began kissing and taking his clothes off and eventually he ended up on top of me.

Brady hovered over me and I could feel his hard penis, but he didn’t put it in. Okay… He was just staring at me, like he was waiting for me to say something or do something.

“What?” I finally said in a bitchy voice.

“Nothing,” Brady said and then he entered me. A few seconds later, he asked, “How was your day?”

Talk about being socially awkward.

“Fine,” I said back

And then he stopped trying to have small talk. Once we were done, Brady snuggled next to me. I was so annoyed at myself for having sex with him and at him for initiating it. Obviously I wasn’t going to say no. I pushed him off and pouted.

“Hey, Reese?” Brady said.

“Hmm?” I said back, still very annoyed.

“I love you. I don’t think we should fight anymore.”

Great! All of our problems were suddenly solved! I rolled my eyes.

“I’m not fighting with you,” I said.

“Well, you’re acting like it.”

“No, you’re acting like it! You have been purposely avoiding coming home and you don’t ever text me like you used to. And then you have some bimbo over for drinks. Don’t blame this on me.”

“I’m sorry,” was all he said, but offered no explanation and didn’t deny any of it.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and we fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and I don’t know what came over me, but I woke Brady up with a blowjob. What did he do to deserve that? We hooked up again and then went back to sleep.

The next morning, Brady was gone by the time I woke up. Ugh. He could have at least said goodbye. I decided to work from home and didn’t leave the house. I don’t know why, but I expected Brady to text me since I’d called him out on it, but he didn’t. And I wasn’t about to text him first.

Kendra invited me over for dinner after work and I was excited to leave the house. She made a vegetarian Caribbean dish because she respects my diet.

“So what’s new? How’s Brady?” she asked.

“Nothing. Fine,” I said back.

“You aren’t still giving him a hard time, are you?” John asked.

I can’t stand John.

“No and I never was. Maybe hear both sides of the story before forming your opinion,” I said.

“Whoa, whoa,” John said, looking at Kendra and back to me. “I’m kidding.”

I glared at him.

“I feel bad for Brady,” Kendra said. “He’s just so sweet. How can you be mean to him? He doesn’t mean any harm.”

“I’m not being mean to him!” I exclaimed.

Kendra and John looked at each other.

“The food is good,” I said to change the subject.

Neither of them said anything.

A little bit later, Kendra said, “So Reese, I have something to tell you.”

“Okay. What? You’re pregnant?”

I was just kidding, but Kendra nodded.

“I just found out! Like literally this morning,” she said.

“Oh my God,” I said.

“I missed my period and decided to take a test. I’m probably 6 weeks now,” she continued.

I looked at John and he was gazing at her proudly. I just blinked at them. I felt tears forming and I don’t even know why.

“Wow, I’m happy for you,” I said numbly. “You’re going to be such a great mother.”

Kendra nodded happily and I started crying right there at the dinner table.

“Reese?” Kendra called.

“No, I’m fine. I’m really happy,” I said and honestly, it was true. Kendra is the most nurturing and disciplined person I know. Any kid would be lucky to have her as a mom.

I got up and hugged her and finally John got the hint to go away. He’s so annoying and I’m annoyed that she told me in front of him. It should’ve been a private moment for us.

On Wednesday, we had a training and some meetings for work so I got off early, around 2 PM. I went to the grocery store and ran some errands then went home.

I sat on the couch watching tv for like three hours straight. It was such a wasteful afternoon. I started on dinner then sat back down on the couch. I heard Brady walk in and I was actually pretty excited to see him. It sounded like he was talking to someone though so I jumped up to see if he was with Tia. When he walked past me I realized that he was on the phone and it didn’t sound like he was talking to his mom. He sounded relaxed and happy, not super formal and uptight. Brady gave me a small wave before walking to the bedroom.

I wanted to die.

I ate my dinner and alone and texted Brady that there was dinner if he was hungry. He didn’t text me back.

On Thursday, I almost quit my job. I got to the office really early to work on some sales figures to send out. I sent it to Mike and Scott and within minutes, Scott replied:


You did this wrong. And we are in fiscal month June now. Please double and triple check anything you send to Mike and let me look over it first so we aren’t wasting his time with incorrect information. Thanks.”

I wanted to cry because I was so frustrated. I literally only did what I was taught. I debated replying to his email, but decided I was too heated and couldn’t guarantee that it would be polite.

When I saw Scott later that morning, he cornered me asking if I got his email.

“Yes, I did. I did the sales figures the way you taught me,” I said.

“It looks like you need another tutorial then. Are you free this afternoon?” he said.

I nodded.

So my afternoon tutorial was Scott teaching me things I already knew. At first I just pretended it was fine then finally I said, “Yes, I already know this.” It was a complete waste of time. When I got back to my office, I drafted half of my resignation letter before realizing that I was being super dramatic. Instead, I decided to finally write a letter to Brady. A lot of y’all suggested I do it and I thought it would be a great way to get all my feelings out.

I had so much to say. And to my surprise, it wasn’t passive aggressive or condescending at all. It was genuinely heartfelt and sweet. I copy and pasted it into the body of an email and saved it as a draft to send while I was in LA.

My mom and I were complaining about needing a vacation and I mentioned that I was considering going to LA and she invited herself. I figured a mother/daughter trip might be okay. At the very least, we could use the time to complain about our men.

I didn’t go to see Devin. I realized that I was so angry with Brady for ignoring me that I was desperate enough to want to use Devin as revenge. But honestly, my past two flashback posts reminded me why I hate him so much and why I would never go down that road again. I can’t believe I even entertained the idea. How disgusting. I’m sorry. Apparently he’s been spending all his time with some rich woman so I haven’t heard from him. And we aren’t mentioning him on the blog anymore.

Anyway, I sent the email to Brady right before my flight took off. My mom and I ordered mojitos and discussed our plans for LA (shopping, laying by the pool, drinking). When we landed, I eagerly turned my phone off airplane mode to see if Brady replied to my email. He didn’t.

We checked into our hotel and immediately changed into our bathing suits and headed down to the pool. My mom doused herself in SPF, but I laid out for two hours bare because I wanted to be a bronze goddess.

The night we got dressed up to get dinner and drinks in Hollywood. I hate LA by the way. No way I could ever live there or even visit more often than once every five years. It’s just so stupid and pretentious. My mom loves it. She would totally move there in a heartbeat.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I had a text from Brady. I was so nervous to open it. I couldn’t even remember the last time he had texted me.

It said, “I miss you.”

And I didn’t know what to say. The only logical response was, “Miss you too.”

He said, “When do you get back? Can I pick you up from the airport?”

So I told him and said if he wanted to, I gave him permission to pick me up. We texted a little bit throughout the day, just talking about what we were doing. He didn’t mention the email and neither did I.

My mom and I did some shopping and had a more intimate dinner at a new vegan sushi restaurant. I’d told her all about me and Brady’s issues and filled her in on the latest. I felt a little bad about rambling on about my relationship drama when she had drama of her own, but she’d made it clear that she didn’t want to talk about my dad.

Later on, it was really late, my mom and I were still out and I was texting Brady again. He told me that he’d had dinner with a girl named Elizabeth, who I don’t know. I ran to a corner of the bar and sat down so I could get to the bottom of it.

“Who is she? How do you know her?” I asked.

“She has a boyfriend. Don’t worry,” Brady replied.

What the hell? I was drunk and confused and sent him back a ton of angry emojis.

“Did she pay for herself?” I asked.

“No, I paid.”


Brady didn’t immediately reply and I said, “How can you say you miss me when you’re taking girls on dates and being a home wrecker?”

Brady called me and I answered, but it was so loud in the bar that I couldn’t hear a word he said. We hung up and he texted me explaining that it wasn’t a date even though they went to dinner together alone on a Saturday night and he paid for everything. He said he wasn’t interested in her at all, she has a serious boyfriend that knew about the non-date and that I was overreacting. I got up and went to find my mom to continue drinking.

When we got back to the hotel it was after 2:00 AM and we were exhausted. I got in bed and checked my phone one last time. Brady had texted me, “You’re the only person I want, Reese.”

I felt like shit when I woke up on Sunday morning and my flight left at 9:00 AM LA time. I woke up late and had to rush to the airport. My mom was staying for another day so she stayed at the hotel and got ready for the day.

Luckily, I was able to sleep off my hangover (and the McDonald’s breakfast helped) so I felt a little better by the time we landed. I had to wait a few minutes for Brady to get me, but when he pulled up, I can’t even lie, I was super excited and kind of nervous to see him. He hopped out and helped me put my bag in the trunk and then he kind of awkwardly kissed my cheek. Literally love him.

There was a pink box of donuts sitting on the passenger seat. And he knows the way to my heart. I finished an entire chocolate iced with sprinkles before speaking.

“How was your weekend?” I asked.

“I missed you,” Brady said.

I smiled.

“Does that mean you aren’t going to ignore me this week?”

“Are you going to ignore me?” he asked.

I gasped. “I never ignored you!”

Brady glanced at me. “You didn’t?”

“Uh, no. I’ve been waiting for you to get over whatever issues you have and talk to me.”

“I have, too.”

“Well, I’m over it.”

“I am too.”

We didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride, but when we got home he started excitedly telling me about a high end juicer he ordered. So back to normal things.

I napped and when I woke up, Brady was gone and hadn’t texted me letting me know where he was going. Out with Tia? We hadn’t talked as much as I wanted (we hadn’t even discussed Kendra’s pregnancy!) and certainly hadn’t talked about my email.

I texted him, “Where are you?” and he said, “Out.”

Like fuck you. Don’t say you want to make up then be a dick. I didn’t say that though and just sat around waiting for him to get home.

When Brady finally got home, he had picked up dinner and ice cream, but he was on the phone again. He’s being so weird. But like, not hiding that he’s weird. I hate it.

We sat on the living room couch and I finally asked, “Did you get my email?”

And Brady nodded. “Yes. It was very thoughtful.”

“Ugh! Why didn’t you respond?” I asked.

“I will. Just give me some time.”

I rolled my eyes. What does that even mean? We finished our food, ate way too much ice cream, hooked up then we worked for a little while.

When we got in bed, I told him about Kendra being pregnant.

Brady said, “I heard.”

And it was annoying that he knew and didn’t think to discuss it with me. Can you believe Kendra is pregnant? Like with an actual baby. Does she think she’s ready for that? I can’t imagine.

I’m gonna go. I didn’t go to work today and I planned on sleeping all day so I better go do that. I feel like I need it. I don’t know what to do. I want me and Brady to go back to way things were, but I don’t know how. We’ve apologized, but he’s still being weird and distant and taking taken girls on dates. Ugh. Life.

Here’s to a better week.


stories i’m not proud of – part nine.

When I found out that the cheerleader girl wouldn’t be returning to ASU in the fall, I was ecstatic. I’d have Devin all to myself! But we were both going to our respective homes for the summer and Devin thought it would be best if we took a break. I protested and whined a ton, but eventually agreed that it was for the best. He assured me that we just needed to focus on ourselves over the summer and would be right back together in the fall.

So the summer passed and we both had our fun – together and separately. I met and hung out with a few guys and Devin and I even visited each other a couple of times. Once we got back to campus in August, I assumed Devin and I would get right back into the swing of things. That had been the plan.

Everything was perfect for the first week or so. We missed each other so we were inseparable and he practically moved into my place. Since the cheerleader was no longer in the picture, I thought I had nothing to worry about.

Devin always hung out with his friends outside one of the gyms and one day after class, I walked over there to meet him. Devin was sitting up on a concrete wall and a girl was standing in front of him, between his legs. She was a freshman from California and her parents had gotten her a boob job for graduation.

I stopped and Devin looked at me, smiling. He made no attempt to move at all. The girl, who had an old person name like Martha or something, turned to look at me while sucking down a smoothie.

“Devin,” I said in a whiney voice. “Come here.”

He threw his head back frustratedly and guided Martha out of his way by her shoulders. He took his time walking toward me.

When he finally reached me, Devin said, “Hey, baby.”

“Who is that?” I asked.

“Oh my God, would you stop?” Devin groaned. “I’m not in the mood.”

“I’m not either. Who is that?” I repeated.

“Someone who probably won’t question my every fucking move.”

I glared at him.

“Bye,” he dismissed me, walking away.

I left, but sent him a ton of texts telling him that Martha could have him and I was done with his shit and never wanted to see him again and etc.

That night, Devin showed up at my apartment while I was in bed. I opened the door and he said, “Are you feeling better?” while walking past me to my room. He just assumed he was allowed in and I guess his assumption was correct.

So things were back to normal for a little bit. They probably were hooking up at the time, but I was too stupid to do anything about it.

A few weeks later, I went home for the weekend. When I got back to campus, I realized immediately that something had gone down over the weekend. Martha changed her profile picture on Facebook to one of her and Devin canoodling and I could not get a hold of him at all. It was like I left for the weekend and stopped existing all together.

Eventually, I decided to go see him at the gym. He was sitting outside with a few friends just like I knew he would be and actually smiled when he saw me. He pulled me onto his lap and kissed me.

I pulled away slightly and narrowed my eyes at him.

“Why are you in Martha’s profile picture? Like what the fuck?” I asked.

Devin’s eyes darkened and he didn’t say anything for a moment.

“You’re so annoying,” he scoffed. “I’m so sick of this bullshit.”

See how quickly he flipped it on me? I probably could have found a better way to approach him, but really, he was the guilty one, not me.

“If you want to pursue something with Martha, that’s cool, but just know that I won’t be around after you’ve had all your fun with a freshman,” I said. Even though Martha was only a year younger, she was a freshman and that was taboo for a reason.

“I don’t want to deal with your shit,” Devin said, pointing at me with both hands. “This isn’t about Martha, this is about you trying to dictate my life. Fuck that.”

Devin scooched me off his lap and stood up. About a week passed and I only reached out to Devin twice. Whatever. I wasn’t going to chase him (this time). I ran into Martha at a party and she was trashed and carrying a plastic jug while wearing just a bikini.

“Reese!” she exclaimed. “I’m so sorry about the misunderstanding with Devin. Are you okay? I feel so bad.”

Can you imagine a little freshman telling you that they felt bad for you? The nerve.

“No need to feel bad for me. Devin must not have told you why we broke up?” I replied.

She smirked. “He said it’s because you’re effing insane.”

I gave her a sympathetic smile. “No. His mom called me.” I rolled my eyes here for drama. “To warn me that he’d left his wart cream at home. He has genital warts, you know?”

Martha gave me a skeptical look. “No he doesn’t.”

“Uh, yes he does. And notice that he always gets cold sores? They’re all signs of the beginning stages of herpes and it’s the state when they’re the most contagious. Him leaving his medicine at home just shows his social irresponsibility.” I was pulling all this out of my ass, but Martha’s face was priceless. I walked away as I knew the damage was done. Devin did get cold sores sometimes which helped my story.

I knew the moment Martha confronted Devin about his fake herpes because he blew my phone up. It was hilarious. I texted him, “Busy. What’s up?” but he would not stop calling me.

Martha sent him packing and imagine how stupid I looked when we basically got back together a week later? Idiot.

Sorry this post is so short. I’m going away for the weekend and I haven’t packed or prepared at all. Stuff is just weird right now. I wish things were back to normal, but they aren’t. I’ll explain what’s going on Monday hopefully. Bye!