i knew i shouldn’t have stopped talking to him.  

Hey y’all! Sorry for depressing everyone with my last three posts.

Scott and I had a progress meeting on Monday. He had Monica sit in on the meeting which was so annoying and so stupid because technically she and I are on the same level. Plus I couldn’t fully tell Scott how I felt because she was sitting there.

“Reese, I think you’re great,” Scott said. “You know what you’re doing and what the business needs are.”

Monica nodded.

“But I just want more from you. This is your time to really prove yourself to Mike and everyone else. I don’t want you to coast,” he continued.

I nodded obiedently.

“I totally agree,” Monica said. “The potential is there, but I’m afraid you might be getting overshadowed by your team.”

Honestly, she had a lot of nerve even inputting her opinion. Monica doesn’t know how to do anything except order people around and I’m not just saying that because I’m bitter.

After the meeting, Monica walked me to my office and was like, “That went well, didn’t it?”
Was she kidding?

“I guess it could be worse,” I said. “How did yours go?”
Monica gave me a huge smile. “Really well. I got a raise!”

“Oh?” I said.

“Yeah. Fifteen percent!”

And that’s exactly why you don’t mention salary in an office because there was no way I wasn’t going to mention that. I get that she’s been there longer than me, but fifteen percent is a huge raise, right?

But like Scott said, I did want to prove myself to Mike too and grabbed a 20 oz Redbull and worked like a maniac for about a few hours. I got a lot done and sent out some reports and projections. Scott immediately replied to one of them saying, “You did this wrong.”

So much for proving myself. It irritated me though so I marched down to Scott’s office. He was on a conference call and I sat there and waited until it ended.

When he hung up, Scott said, “Hey! What can I help you with?”

“Yeah, you said I did this wrong so I need to know the correct way to do it,” I said. Obviously I’d printed out the email and brought it with me.

“Of course. Grab a pen.”

And then Scott showed me what I did wrong which was literally that I forgot to indent. It was so silly. He could tell that I thought it dumb because he said, “Small details count!” in a sing songy voice.

I rolled my eyes.

“So, I’m glad we were able to touch base about your performance today. Is there anything you need from me?” he went on.
I practically cracked my knuckles as I prepared to lay into him.

“I need you to show me things before I execute them incorrectly and get called out for it. It isn’t fun to get told, ‘you’re going that wrong,’ daily especially when you haven’t been taught the correct way to do it,” I said.

Scott nodded. “Oh wow, okay.”

“And if you want me to run this department, let me run it. I don’t work well with you micromanaging me and critiquing everything I do. If you show me something once, I’ll have it and you won’t have to check on me every second. And I can talk to Mike on my own. I don’t need you to monitor me or write a script.”

“I just like to have my hand in everything, Reese. I don’t mean to smother you.”
“Well, you are.”

“Okay, well. I know you can handle it on your own. I’ll let you reach out to me if you need anything.”
So I’ve committed to giving it my all. I’ve been trying, but I can try harder. And I kind of have to after what I said to Scott.

I left before mentioning Monica’s raise, but later on, Scott sent me a picture of a form he was submitting for my raise. Not fifteen percent, but better than nothing. 
I was so caught up in everything that I forgot to mention that I talked to Carly last week. When her name popped up on my screen I figured she was calling to yell at me about Brady.

“Come visit,” she said when I answered.

“Why?” I said back.
“I have no one to hang out with,” she sighed. “And Chris is actually kind of boring.”

“Well, you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with him,” I pointed out. 

“I know and I am,” she snapped. “But I need to spend time with other people too.”

“Don’t you have coworkers you could hang out with?”

“They don’t drink.”

I had to laugh. I guess that is kind of a deal breaker.

“How are you not tied up with wedding planning?” I asked.

“My mom is handling all of it.” She gasped. “But get this. My mom has been pressuring Kyle to settle down for a while and I think he’s feeling the heat because he’s talking about proposing to his girlfriend.”

For a second, I didn’t even think Kyle had a girlfriend. Then I remembered Preston telling me about him dating Julia’s little sister.

“Oh. Isn’t she like young?” I said.

“She’s a total airhead. I hate her. She graduated last year and thinks it’s okay to still be unemployed. She’s about to pick up a job as a hostess, but she just parties nonstop. My dad took Kyle to our jeweler last week though.”

Unemployed and about to get engaged? Sign me up. I knew I shouldn’t have stopped talking to Kyle when I did. I’m kidding.

Oh, apartment update! The offer my dad and I put in wasn’t immediately accepted because they had multiple offers. So they wanted our best and final offer plus a little bit more information. We gave it to them and now we are still waiting to hear back. I don’t think I’ll get it because there are multiple offers and the place was already over my price range anyway. So I’ve been looking at other places even though I don’t think I’ll move anymore. I know, I’m so back and forth.

I talked to Brady too. I’ll tell y’all all about it obviously, but we aren’t breaking up. Neither of us want to because in general, we both make each other happy. But Brady is hurting and I’ve definitely hurt him. I don’t want to contribute to that! And Tucker doesn’t deserve divorced parents. 

I hope everyone everyone is having a good week so far. Talk to you later!

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17 thoughts on “i knew i shouldn’t have stopped talking to him.  

  1. Cheeky says:

    Good for you for sticking it properly to Scott, it proves that you’re strong. But do go back to him to “kiss ass” and asking for help or showing progress here and there.

    Also maybe you don’t want to move now, but I think you should keep looking. Plus if it’s something you could afford you could use it as an investment and rent it out.

    • my dad has been trying to get me to do that forever. it’s a lot of work though. and I don’t just want to buy a cookie cutter high rise so I’m being picky

      • Cheeky says:

        Sure you can find a place you would love for yourself not just for investment purposes. While it might me like adding a part time job maintaining, making sure the renter’s are good etc… but it will be your own thing, like your own baby (big baby 😜) project. Plus it will improve your credit.

        If in the end it becomes too much, you sell it. Dear can be crippling, sometimes you don’t know the positives until you fully jump in

  2. Jen says:

    Reese, it seems like you only want to move when you’re pissed at Brady. When are you going to be a dependent woman? ots ridiculous because now you’re staying because Brady’s place is bigger and you want to make it work? Stand on your own two feet, hold your own and show the world how strong you are. Now it seems like your failing back into your comfort zone of living mostly scotch free with Brady instead of forging your own way.

  3. Roberta says:

    Good for you for sticking it to Scott!!! he needs to let you do what he hired you for but be there when you need him.
    Are you looking for a place to scare Brady that you might leave? Or is it because you want a place of your own? I think its great your looking and you and Brady could use it for income but I would also fear that you might use it as a run away place instead of dealing with your issues (I know I would). Maybe you could take on some bills at Brady’s to make it more both your places so you feel like you have something invested in it (if you haven’t already)
    I can’t wait to hear how your talk went and I really hope you two can work it out cause I think you are good for each other and could have something great but you need help with the communication.

    • I’m looking for a place so I have something of my own. I don’t feel like I have anything invested in Brady’s place hence why I kept badgering him to get a new place with me. I want to pick out something together that we both like but I doubt that will happen for a while.

      • Roberta says:

        Thats makes a ton of sense when I moved in with my now ex-husband he had his own house and I didn’t fell like I had anything invested in it because it was all his. Have you explained the reason you want a new place to him maybe he will understand that and be more ready to move? IDK just a thought but I get the not feeling like its yours.

      • Roberta says:

        Sorry I don’t remember reading that but I must have missed it. I was just throwing it out as a way she could maybe fell like the place was a little bit hers if she was paying for some part of it all on her own. I never thought she was a housewife just a thought that popped in my head.

  4. Gee says:

    Good job ‘not’ mentioning a co-workers raise.

    Yes a raise after being there 3 months is definitely good.

    Well done articulating what bothered you about Scott’s management style AND telling him how to best support you.

    Carly is shady AF. FULL STOP.

    What did you do to hurt Brady? I’ve felt there was something more to the story. You don’t have to share but it would make me as a reader understand his actions and your willingness to stay.

    Good luck.

    • nothing y’all don’t know about. just messaging other guys, being mean, etc. but he’s going through some personal problems on his own that I haven’t helped with

  5. Sara says:

    Reese, good on you for talking to Scott and standing up for yourself. It sounds like you were assertive where you needed to be. That kind of conversation can be tough to have and I am impressed with how you handled it.

    I am glad you and Brady talked. I have been pondering your last few posts and even though I was exasperated for your sake by his typical tendency to clam up, there was something odd going on with him. Little things, like taking Tucker into the bedroom with him–it’s as if he WANTED you to come in to him (with Tucker as a lure), but didn’t know how to ask. Other things, too, in Brady how he did talk to you in your last post. (some of your mentions of his body language, his asking “how was your day” during sex, etc. These actions sound like he is feeling lost, wanted to say stuff and didn’t know how.) Mixed metaphor, but he SOUNDED like a deer in headlights. Given how your interactions with Brady have played out over the last couple years, I mostly take what you write here as venting about your relationship, which is healthy. It is funny/cute that you vent but defend the HELL out of Brady when commenters slag off on him. That says to me you mostly need to let off steam and process. (again, healthy. You are venting to us, your invisible readers and not yelling at Brady which only makes him retreat.) I hope all goes well for you two. I would suggest that you tell him that he should write you an email (like you did) if he feels like he can’t say things directly. It is a good place to start and he can take the time to craft what he wants to say. Ideally, he CAN talk to you directly, but this is such an ongoing problem –really the biggest in your relationship–and he needs to find some way to communicate his feelings to you where you feel like he lets you in and where he feels safe.

    Poor Carly. She’s not even married and says she is bored by Chris. I bet she is not bored, but instead she sounds lonely. I think that may be why she is acting out. I hope she can find her sense of self, because she is not in a good place to start a marriage the way things stand.

  6. Luita says:

    Good for you for telling Scott what you were really thinking! And you talked to Brady aski! You are totally Adulting!
    It’s exactly what I was thinking, Brady had been holding a lot of stuff in and he finally blew up.
    There’s no excuse for you to seek attention from other guys, but does he get what you need from him? You need him to be more attentive not just give you his credit card to buy things and feel that he’s done enough. His love language seems to be the provider and you need more verbal communication. I really do hope that you guys can make things work. Try having deep talks with him at least once a week, apologize when you need to and don’t let a night go without a goodnight kiss.
    Carly is just lonely for friends, she has Chris but every girl needs her girl friends every now and then. I totally get it. She should come visit you. And wow, she’s the most laid back bride, I don’t think I could let someone else take care of everything for me.

  7. Ordinary Leah says:

    I’m SO glad you were honest with Scott about what you need at work. He seems like someone who is motivated by the constant fear that HE isn’t good enough at his job, so he pushes everyone else to make him look better, not because he truly cares. He’s annoying.
    And I 100% think you need to buy a place. I think it’ll bring a balance of power to your relationship, you’ll know you have somewhere to go if you need it, but hopefully you won’t. You won’t feel stuck though. One thing I feel confident in with my relationship is that I could leave right now and be totally fine. I’m not here because I have to be, I’m here because I want to be.
    So glad to hear a more upbeat post! But it’s okay when they’re not. It’s not depressing, it’s life! :):)

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