stories i’m not proud of – part eight.

One of my first weekends at ASU, I had plans of going to a party with all my new friends. It was one of those theme parties, CEOs and Office Hoes. For the occasion, I wore a tight black pencil skirt, a tight black vest with a white lacy bra under it and a pair a black patent Steve Madden pumps that I wore for my high school graduation. On fucking point!

The party was held at a house off campus. A lot of athletes/fraternity boys lived there, but it wasn’t an official frat house. They were serving jungle juice out of an 18 gallon tub complete with pineapples and fruit floating on top. My friends and I eagerly held out our styrofoam cups to be filled up.

I only remember drinking one and a half cups of the punch and then the night began to get blurry. I was kind of embarrassed to be so drunk so quickly so I was trying to keep it together while mingling. I remember giggling a ton and everyone just staring at me. Typical.

The party ended up getting busted by the police so we all ran out a back door so we didn’t get minor in consumption charges. During the flee to the driveway, we met up with a group of guys from one of the sports teams. Apparently I was struggling to get away in my heels and one of the guys told me to hop on his back. The guys offered to give us a ride back to campus and we happily took the ride.

I ended up squished in the backseat next to Devin. I immediately noticed how tall he was, how funny his legs looked scrunched up behind the passenger seat. And then I took a look at his outfit – his obviously expensive slacks, gray dress shirt, loosened tie and suspenders. And the way his shirt fit his big arms, the way his pants clung to his toned thighs. And finally, I noticed how beautiful he was. He had thick black hair cut short into a fade, immaculate tan skin (he’s a mix between black, white and Filipino), cheekbones Kim Kardashian would pay millions for, perfect teeth and a pair of huge diamond studs to complete his look. Literally everything about him was so perfect I wanted to cry. How had I not seen him at the party?

I turned to him and grabbed his face then said something like, “You’re beautiful!” because I don’t know how to be subtle.

He said, “Me?! Look at you!” and we both laughed.

I took some selfies with my Sony CyberShot (I know, I’m old) that I used to love to look back on. The pictures are blurry and we are trashed, but it was just such a fateful night.

The guys dropped us back off at the dorm, but they came up with us. Devin immediately made himself comfortable in my twin size zebra print bed. He looked good in it so I wasn’t about to say anything. I took some pictures of him in my bed for my records.

I don’t remember how it happened, but I ended up next to him under all my blankets. He smelled so fucking good. Like delicious. I was obsessed. We were talking about everything. Being from Texas, wanting to move to LA, the best places to use fake IDs in Tempe, etc. I remember him being so cool to talk to. We had the same sense of humor. It wasn’t like we finished each other’s sentences, but we finished each other’s jokes. Mostly him finishing mine. I loved that.

Eventually all the other guys left and my roommate turned off all the lights.

“Should I get going?” Devin asked me.

I shook my head furiously. “No. You can stay.”

I rolled over so he could spoon me, both still fully clothed, and he started popping the buttons on my vest. I let him. Once my vest was off, he fumbled with my bra for a little while, confused by the front clasp.

“What the fuck?” he whispered in my ear. As you can see, Devin has always been romantic.

I giggled and undid my bra for him. He massaged all over me for a little while until I reached behind me for his buckle. Let’s get this show on the road!

Eventually he lifted my skirt up and tried to stick his penis in me from behind, but I yelped in pain.

“What’s the problem?” Devin asked.

I reached around to feel his dick and immediately realized that my hand wouldn’t even fit around it. Oh hell no.

I didn’t want to seem like a baby though so I shrugged him off and climbed on top. I decided giving him head would probably be the less painful option and I began making my way down his body. I had to open my mouth so wide that my eyes started watering. But the sound that came out of Devin’s mouth made it worth it.

I think I did okay for a little while, but then Devin started coaching me.

“Put your lips over your teeth.”

“Swirl the head with your tongue.”

“Use your hand.”

Who knew I needed so much coaching? This went on for a long time. Until my lips were numb and I no longer had any saliva to speak of.

I started to get up and Devin moaned, “More.”

More?! I was already dying basically. It couldn’t have felt good anymore. But I wanted to impress him so I kept going for a few more minutes. Luckily or unluckily, he grabbed my hand and pulled me on top of him so I was straddling him. His baseball bat dick was still standing straight in the air.

“Hop on,” he instructed.

Lol, no. But again, I wanted to impress the beautiful man in my bed so I did. I could only make it about an inch or two before I started screaming and fell over on him.

“Reese, are you okay?” my roommate at the time asked.

“She’s fine,” Devin answered for me because my face was buried in his chest. He wrapped an arm around my waist and guided me down on him.

He whispered, “See? You’re fine.”

I felt like I’d been ripped apart.

“Yeah, totally fine,” I gasped.

He didn’t last much longer after that, thank goodness, because it hurt way too much for it to be enjoyable. Immediately after, I ran to the bathroom to make sure I wasn’t bleeding everywhere. Luckily it was only a little bit.

I got back in bed and Devin and I snuggled and talked for a little bit before falling asleep. I just remember it being so fun and me being so excited to find someone who was not only hot as shit, but also just as funny as me. I could basically see the rest of our lives playing out in front of me.

When I woke up, Devin was gone. And for a brief hungover moment, I thought that I dreamed the whole thing. But then I found a note he left on my desk written on a hot pink post-it:

“Add me on Facebook.” And he left his full name so I could find him.

I looked him up immediately trying to gather as much information as I could. I didn’t add him until later on in the day though because I didn’t want to be too desperate. I uploaded all the pictures from our night out including the drunk backseat selfies and Devin in my bed. I needed the entire world to know that I’d hung out with him. And hopefully they assumed we hooked up too. I even tagged him.

I got an inbox message from him a little later with a single smiley which I thought was so cute and coy. I remember it taking me forever to think of something to say and I finally decided on something like, “When are we going to hang out?”

And he said, “Tomorrow. Text me.” And he left his number.

I can’t remember why, but we didn’t end up hanging out the next day, but we texted non stop. Every time I would think the conversation was over, he would keep it going because Devin is just so good at talking.

The following Monday, I was walking to class on campus and I saw Devin. And he was holding hands with a tiny little Colombian cheerleader. They looked so bizarre together with him being so tall and her being so short. He spotted me and nodded his head and smiled big, but didn’t say anything.

I was hella (taking it back) confused and obviously a little bit heartbroken. I was too afraid to text him and confront him about it mostly because I wanted to pretend it didn’t happen. And I didn’t want to seem clingy and cause drama so soon into our relationship. I did however ask my sorority friend who was big into campus drama about it. I hadn’t told her about my escapades with Devin and pretended that I was just interested in him.

“Oh yeah, that’s his girlfriend,” she informed me. “They’ve been together since the fall. Aren’t they like perfect?”

Nope. Devin was perfect with me. But if he had a girlfriend, why did he spend the night with me? And was this girlfriend just okay with her man posing for pictures on Facebook in another girl’s bed?

Apparently not. Half a semester of Facebook feuds, passive aggressive eye rolling, drunken fights at parties (my friends and I were always fighting her friends. She was on the cheer squad and had an image to uphold) and nonstop sex with Devin ensued. We were both knowingly fucking him at the same time. I clearly left my dignity back home. She ended up transferring to a school in Houston ironically and I spent the rest of my college career battling every other girl on campus for Devin. She wins.

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an intervention.

Hey y’all. I’m sorry. So much is going on.

On Wednesday night, a former coworker had a birthday dinner at a restaurant downtown and Brady and I made plans to be in attendance. I stayed at work late then texted Brady to meet me at the office so we could walk to the venue together.

It started off fine, we were walking hand in hand and talking about life. I’m not sure how it happened, but we got in a disagreement about our living situation. It was super passive aggressive. I’m fine with where we live now, but I thought I’d bring up the topic of buying a larger condo again. I mean, just to throw it out there. Brady wouldn’t even entertain it.

Finally I said, “Ugh, fine. You never want to do what I want,” or something like that.

Brady slowed down and let go of my hand. I turned to him to see what was up and he had this weird look on his face.

“What?” I asked.

“Sometimes… I feel like we are going in two different directions,” he said, sounding unsure.

“Okay? What does that even mean?” I said.

“We want different things.” Brady said this confidently and definitively.

“What the fuck, Brady? What are you talking about?” I demanded.

He scrunched his eyebrows together. “I’m going to go. Enjoy dinner.”

Seriously, what the hell?

“What? Why?” I exclaimed.

Brady didn’t reply and turned to walk away. I called after him. When he didn’t turn around or even acknowledge me, I got pissed and walked away to go to dinner alone. Whatever. Brady is moody sometimes and I wasn’t even about to feed into it. He would get over whatever issue he had eventually.

Halfway through dinner, I caved and texted him, “Okay, what was that all about?”

He didn’t reply right away so I just sat there staring at my phone. The birthday girl called me out for being on my phone at dinner so I put it away. After dinner they all wanted to go to a bar to have more drinks. I checked my phone and Brady hadn’t responded to my message which was annoying.

“Hellloooooo, what are you doing?” I texted him again.

We got to the bar and the birthday girl’s fiancé bought us all shots and drinks so I put my phone away. I felt guilty because I hardly ever talk to the girl (Kristen) anymore and we used to be pretty close. She’s a more responsible version of me and I used to love learning from her. She’s a good balance of psycho party chick and successful consultant and I needed to be more like that.

After we left the bar, I was ready to go home even though they all wanted to go somewhere else. I got my phone out to call Brady to come get me and he didn’t answer. Was he dead? Annoyed and drunk, I sent another text.

“Seriously fuck you. You’re such a fucking pussy sometimes Brady. Just tell me why you’re pissed at me instead of being a baby.”

I called an Uber to take me home, fell asleep on the ride then ran inside when we arrived. Brady’s keys were in his usual spot, but he wasn’t in the bed. I cut up some tortillas to make homemade tortilla chips then threw them in the oven. I had a thought. Maybe he was in the guest bedroom? That’s where I always seek refuge when I’m mad at him.

So I ran down the stairs and sure enough, the door was closed and locked. And it didn’t take me long to realize that Tucker must have been in there with him.

“I hate you,” I called through the door (probably not loud enough to hear) because don’t take Tucker from me.

I didn’t even want my tortilla chips anymore and just got in bed. I was confused and sad, but too drunk to really comprehend what was going on.

On Thursday morning, I woke up unnaturally early, around 6:00 AM. Brady should have been getting ready for work so perfect time to ambush him. He wasn’t in our bathroom so I jumped up, preparing to find him.

Brady was walking out of the main bathroom, fully dressed and ready for work with his glasses on.

“Brady!” I exclaimed, so ready to put an end to whatever stupid fight this was.

He put his hands up defensively, almost like he’d been caught. Then he said, “Not talking to you.”

“Why?” I demanded and Brady walked off.

What the actual fuck? I stormed off and got back in bed. Whatever. I fell back asleep and woke up with a start a few hours later when I realized that Brady was 100% serious. I checked my phone and he hadn’t made any effort to contact me or explain himself. What was I supposed to think? Seemed like he was giving up to me.

I called my dad.

“Good morning, love,” he answered.

“Hey Dad.”

“What’s up? What do you have going on today?”

“Can you help me find and buy a condo? Brady isn’t speaking to me and I don’t want to be here anymore,” I blurted out.

“What? Why isn’t he speaking to you?” my dad wanted to know.

“I don’t know. He isn’t as smart as y’all think. I’m over it,” I said.

So my dad informed me that he’d look into flying in Friday morning. A few minutes after we hung up, my dad texted me informing me that he would land the next morning just before 11 am.

I went to work a little later than normal. Scott had requested a meeting for 10:30 and I got in with just enough time to prepare for it.

“These sales are ridiculous,” was how he opened the meeting.

“I know. I’m trying not to get discouraged,” I said back.

“Yeah. Keep the morale of your team up. Has Mike said anything to you?”

I shook my head.

“Good. Let’s get some plans together so he can at least see your efforts.”

So we spent the morning and into the afternoon working together. I generally like working alongside Scott because then he can at least see how I work and think and see that I’m not an idiot. I really feel like he thinks I am sometimes.

I stayed at the office until 9:30 PM because I was engrossed in my work. I only took one break. I guess I figured I needed to start producing some results before Mike fires me.

When I got home, I heard the TV on in the basement. It sounded like an action movie. I started gathering some of my stuff from the bedroom and taking it to the office. My things have pretty much overtaken Brady’s former plain white bedroom and I thought it would be beneficial for Brady to see his room without it. Maybe it would be a sign of how boring his life would be without me.

After I’d emptied the room to my satisfaction, I headed to the kitchen to find something to snack on. But Brady beat me there and walked past me without saying anything. Or even looking at me. Do y’all know how hurtful that is? We are supposed to be in love and Brady didn’t even acknowledge me after not speaking to me for over twenty four hours.

After that, I didn’t even want a snack. I locked myself in the bedroom and cried. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Brady was serious and I didn’t even know what I’d done.

About an hour into my crying fit, I received a picture from a Los Angeles number. It was of me and my ex Devin circa 2011. We were in a reverse prom pose with my arms wrapped his waist from behind. I had big hoops in, a tiny stud through my lip and a backward ASU baseball cap on. Devin had his head leaned back with a cocky smirk on his face.

“Devin stop,” I replied to the message.

“What? You look beautiful. I miss you,” he said.

“I’m not in the mood.”

“Why? I’m not trying to be a dick or anything.”

“Well my boyfriend broke up with me so I’m dealing with that right now.”

I don’t even know why I felt the need to share that with Devin. I think I just wanted sympathy or someone to talk to about it. Someone who would obviously be on my side.

Devin called me.

“What?” I groaned into the phone.

“Hey. I’m sorry to hear that,” Devin said. He sounded genuine, not using his salesman voice he uses to get whatever he wants.

“No you aren’t. You live for this shit,” I said.

“I want you to be happy, Reese. If I can’t do that for you and someone else can, I gotta accept it.”

“Obviously someone else can’t cuz he wants nothing to do with me.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t even know. He said we want different things. It’s so stupid.”

“What is it that you want?”

I paused. I hadn’t thought about that. I was so busy being upset about Brady ignoring me that I hadn’t thought about what he really meant when he said we are going in different directions and want different things. I hadn’t even brought up marriage.

“To build a life with him,” I answered.

Devin sighed. “And he doesn’t want that? He really isn’t for you then just like I thought.”

“And you think you are? Please, Devin,” I rolled my eyes.

This opened a whole other can of worms. We talked about when we first met on campus. I’ll tell y’all that story in a flashback post. But we were inseparable immediately. We shared the same feelings right away and I didn’t have to second guess myself at all which is the the exact opposite of when I first met Brady.

By the time we hung up two hours later, I’d come to the following conclusions:

1. Devin and I had an instant attraction and connection and I didn’t feel like I had to force anything.

2. Devin and I have similar personalities hence why we butt heads often. Brady and I fight a lot less because he’s agreeable and doesn’t stand up for himself when he should.

3. When Devin and I dated, we were both starving college students with nothing to show for ourselves. We still had fun and made it work. I don’t know why, but I can’t imagine that with Brady. He’s so established and put together. Privileged. He would never be slumming it.

4. Devin and I haven’t been together in years and he still talks about the future with me. The future in general. Brady breaks out in hives when the word marriage is even mentioned.

5. He still has a ton of growing up to do, but now that we are older, I think Devin finally has a grasp of his feelings. I think in college, a lot of times he told me what I want to hear and now he tells me what he genuinely feels.

After that phone call, I felt a little different about Devin. I don’t really hate him.

My dad ordered a car for when he landed and picked me up from Brady’s house. He knows someone who knows someone in real estate here in Chicago and set up a meeting for us.

“Good morning, princess! How are you feeling?” my dad greeted me.

“Like crap,” I told him. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course. I’m happy to help. What do you have in mind?”

“I don’t even care.”

I felt my dad watching me, waiting expectantly so I added, “All the upgrades. You know my taste.”

We met up with the realtor at his office downtown to go over the important details. What were my requirements, neighborhood, price, etc. And then he took us to look at a few places. One in Old Town, one in River North and two in Gold Coast. I fell in love with one of the Gold Coast ones. My dad whistled when we walked in. It was staged with all white furniture, it had a big open living room and dining room area with windows taking up one wall and mirrors covering the adjacent one. It made the place look huge. The bathroom was all glass and marble – light and airy and white too. The kitchen had marble countertops, stainless steel appliances and a pearly white  marble backsplash. It also had a great view of the lake. The place was about $15,000 over the budget my dad gave me, but he saw how much I loved it and told the realtor to do whatever he could.

After I’d found my perfect home, it was almost 3:00 and my dad suggested we find something to eat. We had the driver take us a to a restaurant not far from Brady’s hospital which I thought was ironic, but thought nothing of.

We were seated and ordered cocktails. My dad was stalling on ordering food even though I knew what I wanted. And then my dad looked up from the table, his eyes lighting up.

“Hey! You made it,” my dad said, standing up. I turned and saw Brady walking toward our table. What the hell?

I turned back around and pulled out my phone because this was about to get real awkward. How had Brady found his way to me and my dad’s lunch? How annoying.

My dad and Brady shook hands and hugged and then Brady leaned down and kissed my cheek. Uh, okay. I’d been texting Devin all day, sending him pictures of the condo which he said he liked, but wished was in LA with him. I quickly fired off a text that said, “SOS, come save me.”

Brady sat down and I put my phone away. My dad asked him how his day was going, what he wanted to drink and then my dad ordered his drink along with food for all of us after the server came back.

“So what’s new with you? Reese? Brady?” my dad asked to try to break the ice. Since he’d arrived, we hadn’t said a word about Brady. He hadn’t asked me what happened or mentioned him at all.

Brady took a sip of his drink so I started talking. “Nothing. Can’t wait to move.”

“Yeah, I’m hoping it’ll work out in our favor,” my dad replied.

“It’ll have to.”

My dad turned to Brady. “How’s work?”

“It’s going well. I’ve been assisting in some virus and disease research the past month which has been interesting,” Brady answered. Do you think I knew about that? Nope. Because Brady doesn’t tell me anything. And what a great thing to talk about over food.

My dad’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow. What an important thing you’re doing. Yeah, Reese?” He looked at me.

The last thing I wanted to do was sit there stroking Brady’s ego. “I guess.”

“She’s proud of you,” my dad said to Brady trying to make up for my lack of interest.

“Brady hasn’t talked to me in two days so I don’t really care,” I blurted out.

Brady was taking a drink and almost spit it out. He stared at me with all seriousness.

“Reese, that isn’t nice,” my dad said.

“And ignoring my entire existence is? Cool. So glad you’re on my side.”

“I’m not taking anyone’s side, Reese,” my dad said in a warning tone.

“Why did you even invite him here?” I asked. “I’m trying to get away from him.”

Brady just continued looking at me and didn’t say anything.

“Your mother and I didn’t teach you to be nasty to people.”

“Don’t bring up my mom because you’re ignoring her too. Just stop!”

They looked at each other and then they both stared back at me.

“I’m sorry if you feel you’re being ignored,” my dad said.

“It’s not how I feel, it’s the reality of the situation! Brady, what’s the last thing you’ve said to me? You have no idea!”

“Reese, relax. You have no reason to feel attacked right now,” my dad said.

“I don’t feel attacked, I’m just annoyed.”

The server brought our food and I immediately dug into my salad, eager to have something to do besides talk to them.

Brady cleared his throat. “Reese, I love you. I suck at showing it sometimes, I know that. But I-”

I glared at him. “I’m sorry, are you speaking to me?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Okay, well what’s your purpose? You don’t treat someone you supposedly love like that. You just don’t.”

“I think you could take your own advice.”

“Excuse me? My life literally revolves around you,” I said, appalled.

“Your actions and words don’t reflect that,” Brady said softly.

“What are you talking about?” I exclaimed.

“This. This is exactly what he’s talking about,” my dad spoke up.

“Is this like an intervention? Leave me alone.”

Neither of them said anything and all you could hear was our silverware clinking on our plates. I sat my fork down and looked up to take a drink. Brady was watching me while he ate. I thought about making some snarky remark, but decided not to.

My dad got a phone call and excused himself from the table so Brady and I sat there alone. I pulled out my phone and Devin had texted me a couple times and FaceTimed me. I was replying when I heard Brady say my name. I looked up.

“Are you done?” he asked.

“Done with what?”

Brady gestured between the two of us. “This. Us.”

“Well, you’ve made it pretty clear that you are.”

“That isn’t what I asked.”

“What are you even doing here?” I couldn’t help asking.

“Your father asked me to be here,” Brady replied.

“So what? You could’ve said no. Probably should’ve.”

Brady ran a hand over his face, a weird gesture I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do.

“I’m sorry for coming then,” he said.

When my dad came back, he was ready for the check. After he paid, we all got up and headed outside. I stood at the curb waiting for the car while my dad and Brady talked just outside the restaurant. They were close and speaking quietly and it looked like they were plotting something. I’d grill my dad about it in the car.

Once our car came, my dad and Brady said goodbye and Brady kind of just waved at me.

“What did you say to him?” I asked my dad as soon as he shut the door to the SUV.

“I know why you’re lashing out, Reese. Your mother and I separating shouldn’t make you doubt your own relationship. Don’t take it out on Brady,” my dad said.

I scoffed. “I’m an adult. I’m not lashing out because my parents are separating.”

“We’re very sorry you have to go through this,” my dad went on as if I hadn’t said anything. “We’ve tried to make it work. This isn’t going to affect our relationships with you at all.”

“Dad, I don’t care. Just don’t be a dick to my mom.”

My dad was leaving later that evening so we went back to Brady’s to hang out. He needed to do some work so I set him up in the home office (with all my crap) and then sat on the couch talking to Devin. A little bit later, Kendra called.

“Hey,” I answered.

“Hey! What’s your dad doing here?” she wanted to know.

“How do you know he’s here?” I asked.

“Birdy told me. What’s up? How are you?”

I hadn’t talked to Kendra in a little while and it felt good to talk to her. So I let it all out, telling her all about what was going on with Brady and Devin.

“Well, you know how I feel about Devin and why I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said.

“I know. But he’s different now. He’s grown up a lot,” I said back.

“I’m sure he has, but you can’t just find morals somewhere,” Kendra laughed. “You and Brady need to seriously talk and you need to stop being so defensive. I don’t think he knows how to get through to you.”

“He knows me better than anyone. Except maybe you.”

“But he’s terrified of you, Reese. He feels like he can’t be honest without you freaking out.”

“How do you know?” I asked, suspiciously.

“I can just tell. Anyway, go easy on him. He wants to please you, but doesn’t know how.”

“I literally tell him exactly what I want.”

“Do you have a comeback for everything?” Kendra laughed again. “Let me know what happens!”

After we hung up, Devin called. We talked for an hour or so until my dad appeared in the living room to announce he was leaving for the airport.

“I’ll keep you in the loop about what’s going on with the condo,” he told me and I thanked him.

Brady didn’t get home until super late that night and I was already in bed. Tucker whined at the door for a little while until Brady went to sleep.

On Saturday morning, I had plans of going to brunch with Luke. I missed him and hadn’t seen him in forever. I put on jeans, a plaid boyfriend button down with sunglasses on no makeup.

“I think I want to move to Arizona. Scottsdale,” I told him after we’d started eating.

“Really? Why there?” Luke asked.

“Change of scenery. It’s so laid back. And I don’t want to be in Chicago if I’m not with Brady,” I said and quickly filled him in on my current situation.

“So, are you moving there with Devin? That’s what sounds like is going to happen.”

“No!” I exclaimed. “Devin lives in LA. That would never happen. I’m not interested in him like that right now.”

Luke gave me a skeptical look. “I believe that you aren’t, but your situation with Brady is making you gravitate toward him. I think until you figure that out, Devin needs to be out of the picture. Right now you just need someone to talk to.”

“I disagree.”

“Of course you do. Give me your phone so I can block his number.” Luke held out his hand.

I rolled my eyes. “No. It’s honestly fine. I’ll try to talk to Brady today.”

I didn’t get the opportunity to though because after brunch Luke and I went perfume shopping then met up with some of his friends for a rooftop party. After the party, I was tipsy and had a headache so I headed home. When I got there, Brady and Tucker were out in the front. I was caught off guard and just said, “Hey,” automatically as I walked past.

Brady nodded and I continued into the house. I was starving so I made nachos and cut up a pineapple to eat. I sat at the dining room table and scarfed down my meal then I played around on Snapchat for a little while.

When I went to the bedroom Brady was laying on the bed with Tucker. For the past several days, the bedroom had been my domain so I wasn’t really sure what to do. I decided that it was probably my turn to sleep elsewhere so I started grabbing clothes to sleep in and stuff.

“Hey,” Brady said and my head jerked up, but I didn’t say anything back. Then he said, “Come here.”

I gave him a dirty look. “Why?”

“Just come here.”

I put down what I was holding and walked to the edge of the bed, crossing my arms. “Yes?”

Brady reached out to grab my arm and said, “Sit down.”

I sat. Tucker jumped on my lap. “What can I help you with?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? About what?”

“Everything.”

“Okay.”

“We shouldn’t have let that go on as long as it did.”

“That’s your fault.”

“I know. That’s why I’m apologizing.”

“Maybe we just aren’t compatible.”

Brady’s face fell. “I don’t think that’s it.”

“What is it then? This is so stupid! Like I can’t deal.”

“I want you to respect me,” Brady said.

I was about to object, but realized that maybe he had a point. It made sense – he’d gotten mad at me for yelling at him about moving, I sent him that rude text calling him a pussy, and then lunch with my dad when they ganged up on me. He really does feel disrespected by me. Isn’t it sad that I didn’t even notice until he mentioned it?

“Okay…”

“That’s all I ask.”

“Well, I didn’t even realize that you felt that way.”

Brady gave me this stupid smile.

“So thanks for telling me this now.”

“You’re welcome.”

I was going to get up and go to bed, but Brady grabbed my waist. “Don’t leave. Stay here with me.”

And then, I didn’t even try to stop it, but we hooked up and then fell asleep.

I woke up because my phone was ringing and I reached down and found it on the floor next to the bed. It was Devin. I considered answering it, but Brady was still sleeping next to me. After I declined the call, I shook Brady to wake him up.

He rolled over and peeked at me with one eye. “Yeah?”

“Wake up, please.” I was trying my hardest to be super nice.

Brady stretched a bit then sat up, yawning. “What’s up?”

“I’m sorry that I’ve been disrespectful to you. I didn’t realize you felt that way and I feel really bad about it,” I said.

Brady’s face softened when he realized that I was being genuine and thoughtful.

“Thank you,” he said.

We looked at each other for a moment and I said, “So that’s all I wanted.”

“Do you love me?” Brady asked and he had this strange look on his face.

“What?” was all I could think to say.

“Do you love me?” he repeated.

“Yes. Do you really have to ask?”

“I guess so. Are we friends? What are we doing?”

“I don’t know. You said we want different things so what did that mean?”

“I want to spend everyday with you,” Brady said.

I felt hot tears stinging my eyes. “Do you think that’s not what I want?”

“I don’t know. I can’t tell.”

“I tell you that all the time, Brady! I don’t understand where this is coming from.”

“I just want to be sure.”

Brady got up and went to the bathroom and I picked up my phone to text Devin. I texted him, “Good morning,” and a few minutes later he said, “Do you want to come see me next weekend?”

And I guess I could. I know y’all hate Devin, but I think I portrayed him negatively because I was holding a grudge. He’s seriously different now. Like he’s sweet. And he worships me. And Brady hasn’t spoken to me since yesterday afternoon so why not?

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i hope i didn’t jinx myself.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned my friend Elyse on the blog. She’s the kind of friend you can go years without speaking to, but when you reunite it feels like no time has passed. She was one of the first people I truly became friends with after I transferred. I kind of introduced her to the rest of my friends because she was a little different than us. Less glam and more studious. But seriously, out of all of us, she’s winning.

Anyway, she just got an advanced degree and is moving overseas so she had a big going away party in Arizona. I decided at the last minute to go because otherwise I don’t know when I would see her again.

I packed a bag full of literally nothing but bikinis, shorts and heels and flew to Phoenix on Friday afternoon. My friend, Lauren, landed about an hour before I did and she hung out at the airport waiting for me. Lauren recently got engaged to her boyfriend. She thought it would be cute to announce it on Facebook and everyone was in an uproar because she didn’t make it more personal. I personally didn’t care because she posted detailed pictures of the ring and that’s all I really wanted to see.

We took a cab from the airport to Elyse’s apartment not too far away. It was super hot and sunny which was a far cry from the cold gloomy weather in Chicago. I was super excited for a weekend away even though I missed Brady already. The party was scheduled for Saturday evening so we decided to stay in and have a girls night on Friday. Elyse lives with another one of our friends from college, Morgan, who was the one who planned the party.

We got champagne (much better than the nasty shit we drank in college), tequila and a spinach frozen pizza. I ended up getting really drunk off champagne and had a snap convo with my ex. He didn’t know I would be in Phoenix for the party and when he found out, he tried to get me to come to one of his friends’ places to hang out. I wasn’t drunk enough to go, but I never directly said no because sometimes the chase is fun.

The next morning, I woke up at 8:00 AM Chicago time ready to get my day started. Everyone else was still sleeping and had no interest in getting up which was annoying so I called Brady because obviously he would be up by then.

He didn’t pick up and it hurt my feelings. I tried a few more times in case he didn’t hear it the first time until I finally gave up and went back to sleep.

Eventually my ringing phone woke me back up. Brady.

“Hi,” I answered.

“Hey. I love you,” Brady said. He sounded half asleep.

“Liar. I know you were with your other girlfriend and that’s why you didn’t answer,” I said.

Brady laughed.

“Anyway, Lauren’s ring is literally to die for in person. Do you want me to see if she knows where her fiancé got it?” I asked.

“That isn’t necessary. I have it under control,” he said.

And because I’m annoying, I sent him a picture of me wearing Lauren’s ring. She said I could. Is that bad luck? I hope I didn’t jinx myself or Lauren’s engagement.

Anyway, after everyone got up we got brunch at the coolest restaurant. They had a live band (at 11:00 AM) and we all ordered egg whites, plain toast and two pitchers of mimosas. It was like we were back in college and poor again.

“So did you see it coming?” Elyse asked Lauren.

“He asked my sister what kind of ring I wanted and then she asked me, so yes I saw it coming,” Lauren replied.

“I would have killed her,” I said.

“At least he did well though.” Lauren admired her beautiful ring.

“Reese, when’s your boyfriend going to propose? I feel like you’ve been together forever,” Elyse said, turning to me.

“I know,” I said dramatically. “I don’t get what he’s waiting for. We already live together, have a dog together and he lets me spend all his money.”

They all laughed, but I wasn’t joking.

“He isn’t going to propose until he wants to,” Lauren said matter-of-factly.

“I’m not worried about it.” I sipped my mimosa. I know it sounds bad, but I feel like if I really, really try, I could make Brady do anything I want – including propose. But that’s not how it’s supposed to work so I won’t.

Elyse has been single for a long time and we discussed the possibility of her finding a guy in Portugal. She’s the cutest little blonde bombshell so it shouldn’t be a problem. And honestly good for her not letting a man distract her for getting her degree and getting out of the country before Donald Trump becomes president.

After we ate and were a little tipsy from the mimosas, we Ubered to the mall. I made a vow to stop drunk/tipsy shopping but honestly I forgot. I ended up getting a few pieces, but luckily we needed to get back to Elyse and Morgan’s place to get ready for the party.

We pushed back some furniture, made enough fishbowls to line the counters and propped open the patio doors leading out the shared pool. I was so busy slurping from one of the fishbowls that I didn’t notice the first few guests arrive. I hugged and caught up with some people I went to school with then I ran and changed into a tiny bright bikini and swiped on some nude lip gloss.

Back out at the party, someone had brought a bottle of champagne. Elyse opened it and sent the bottle around while we filled up our flutes. I couldn’t be bothered to get one out of the cabinet so I just used my glass from earlier. I caught up with some other people from college, all working cool tech and project management jobs. I was talking to Rene, a project manager, when I heard Devin arrive. I rolled my eyes deeply, which Rene thought was directed at her.

Devin made a beeline for me and slid an arm around my waist.

“You look beautiful,” he tried to whisper sexily, but I rolled my eyes.

“Why are you here?” I asked.

Devin pulled away and looked at me like I was crazy. “Elyse is my friend, too.”

“So you came all the way to Phoenix just for the party?” I asked.

“Yeah, just like you. Plus I had a free weekend so I thought I’d make a quick trip. Just my luck, you’re here too,” he smiled.

I rolled my eyes.

Devin made a big show of looking around the room behind me and himself then asked, “Where’s your boy?”

“He isn’t here obviously. He doesn’t have time for our shenanigans.”

Devin smiled conspiratorially. “His mistake.”

I walked away to find another fish bowl and Devin followed me.

“When do you leave?” he asked.

“Tomorrow afternoon,” I answered.

“Let me take you to breakfast. We gotta catch up.”

“No,” I said simply.

He clutched his chest like that was the ultimate letdown. “Come on. My treat!”

As if I needed him to buy a cheap breakfast meal for me. Five years ago I would have been ecstatic.

“Devin, no,” I said. “Go away.”

He grinned. “All right. I’m gonna go say hi to Elyse.”

I waved him off and started sucking down another drink. Lauren came and found me, throwing her arms around me. She’d changed into a similar mix match printed bikini because we are basically twins still.

“If I asked you to be a bridesmaid, would you do it?” she asked me.

“Of course. Are you asking me?!”

Lauren nodded. “I don’t have anything planned, but I know I want my main girls there!”

Just wondering, if someone asks you to be in their wedding, do you have to ask them to be in yours? Like just out of common courtesy?

Later on, a lot of us were sitting out by the pool just hanging out and dancing to ratchet music. I was laying back in a pool chair with a mug of rosé. I hadn’t seen Devin in a while, which was a good thing, and I assumed he’d left. I glanced up though and saw him walking out of the house with his tall basketball player friend. I sighed and turned away, closing my eyes. I heard Devin and his friend making their rounds and greeting everyone.

A few minutes later, I heard and felt someone come sit in the pool chair next to me. It was Devin. He was sitting on the side of the chair and his legs were so long that his chin was practically sitting on his knees. His friend was sitting over on the other side looking just as uncomfortable.

“Your dude’s crazy,” Devin said in a low voice. He reached out and grabbed my hand. “If I had the chance to wife you today, I would.”

I snatched my hand away. “You did have the chance, but you’re an idiot so…”

“No, you would just rather be with that pussy.”

I was enraged. I kicked my legs to the ground and stood up. “Dude, fuck off.”

Devin laughed, not even flinching. “Sit your ass down, Reese.”

Obviously I didn’t like not being taken seriously so I poked him really hard between the eyes. Devin stood up, a full foot taller than me.

“Okay, and?” I said, letting him know that his height didn’t scare me.

He lifted his arm, which I took as a threat, so I threw the remainder of my rosé on him. Because I only had a drop left and he’s so much taller than me, the remaining drops landed on his white t-shirt. Devin smacked my hand away, knocking the mug on the ground. It shattered on the concrete.

“You’re literally psychotic, get away from me. I don’t even know why you’re here,” I said.

He scoffed. “I’m psychotic? Look at you!” He gestured to my little body, in attack mode.

Devin started to walk away and I don’t know, I just wanted to keep fighting with him. Don’t call my man a pussy when you’re the pussy. I started to chase him.

“Okay, well congrats on being stupid!” I called after him.

Devin raised his hand and flipped me the bird.

“Cool. You’re still a piece of shit though!” I said.

“And you’re a bitch,” he called over his shoulder.

We’d reached the patio door, which was closed. Devin had to stop and open it which gave me time to catch up and assault him. I picked up speed and kicked out my foot to try and trip him or something. I don’t know. I just know that my legs are stronger than my arms so that was the way to go. I didn’t even make contact with him (I missed), but blood from my foot dripped down onto his leg, sock and shoe. I didn’t even notice I was bleeding.

“Ugh! What the fuck?” Devin exclaimed, turning back to look at me.

It took me a moment to realize that there was a trail of blood following me and that I must have stepped in a stray piece of the broken mug and cut my foot open.

“Reese, are you okay?” Lauren asked, running up behind me.

“She’s sick. Get her some help ASAP,” Devin said and went inside.

I assured Lauren that I was fine then went in search of my phone to call Brady. I was bleeding to death and needed instructions on what to do. Brady didn’t answer the first few times I called him, but Lauren and Elyse came to my aid with rubbing alcohol and bandaids.

When Brady finally called back, I was still sitting there bleeding through the bandaids.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” he asked after I picked up.

I started sobbing, naturally. “I literally can’t stop bleeding.”

“What? You’re bleeding?” he said, sounding panicked.

“Mmhm! I don’t even know what I happened! I want to come home!” I continued.

“Why are you bleeding? From where?” Brady asked.

“My foot. It won’t stop.”

“What happened?”

“I must have stepped on something. I don’t know. Should I call 911?”

Brady sighed. “No, just relax. You’re bleeding more because you’ve been drinking-”

“How do you know I’ve been drinking?” I demanded to know.

“Because I know you.”

I didn’t have anything to say about that so I repeated, “I want to come home.”

“You’ll be home soon, okay? I’ll get you from the airport.”

I sensed that Brady was trying to rush me off the phone so I asked, “Where are you?”

He replied, “Out.”

“Where? And with who?”

“I’m having drinks with John.”

“Just John? Where’s Kendra?” I didn’t like Brady being out alone with Kendra’s unfaithful husband.

“She wasn’t feeling well.”

“And John left her at home? Some husband he is!” I yelled.

“Okay, I gotta go. Love you,” Brady said.

It annoyed me so I hung up. An hour later, I was sitting on Elyse’s floor packing up all my stuff to leave. My flight wasn’t leaving until Sunday afternoon, but I wanted to be prepared. Being around Devin and alcohol brought out a side of me I thought I put to rest and honestly it was embarrassing. I needed to get out of Arizona and never look back.

When I woke up on Sunday morning I had a text message from Devin. It said, “Let me take you to breakfast in Scottsdale.”

What a fucking quook! Why was he even still bothering?

I replied, “No,” then got up to get ready for Sunday Funday with the girls.

Brady picked me up from the airport that night with Tucker in the car. Tucker doesn’t really like car rides, so I was pleasantly surprised. I was so glad to be home. I’m seriously so happy with how much I’ve changed since college and dating Devin and how lucky I am to have such a patient and sweet boyfriend. I may bitch about Brady a lot, but I think being with him has drastically changed me.

So I blocked Devin’s number again. Good riddance!

Anyway, since y’all asked, I’ll tell you about my high fiber vegetarian diet (that I strayed from slightly this weekend). For breakfast, I’ll usually have all my carbs and dairy, if I want it. I’ll have whole grain toast with butter or peanut butter or honey and chia seeds, scrambled eggs with cheese or hot sauce, and a side of avocado and/or tomatoes. I’ll usually have some sort of fruit for snacks throughout the day so diced mango or pineapple, a couple of cuties, a banana or applesauce or something. For lunch I’ll have soup or a salad with crackers or string cheese. And for dinner I’ll do beans, lentils or quinoa with vegetables. I like black beans topped with homemade pico and a side of avocado. I love cajun asparagus or broccoli, look up the recipe on Google! Sometimes I’ll indulge and make risotto, but only if I haven’t been feeling satisfied. I’m big into sweets (and alcohol) so eating like this makes it a lot easier to have dessert and not feel guilty about it. I don’t know if it’ll work for everyone, but I honestly feel so much better. It’s easier to wake up, I don’t feel sluggish in the middle of the day and I’m never bloated (unless I have beer). I literally have abs and I haven’t been to the gym in months!

K love y’all! Bye!

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your daddy is mean.

The past week at work has been so annoying. For a few days, Monica was really short and distant no matter how much I tried to talk to her. It was really weird because she wasn’t acting that way with anyone else. Even though it bothered me, I had so much more to worry about so I didn’t dwell on it. My meeting with Scott and Mike on Thursday went really well, so well in fact, that they agreed to get me absolutely anything I need to get sales to where they want them to be. Unlimited resources!

On Wednesday night, I bugged Brady about what he was getting me for my first Mother’s Day. He had the nerve to laugh and ask if I really thought I deserved something which I thought was rude. But then on Thursday morning right before he left for work, Brady informed me that he’d left his Amex on the nightstand.

I rolled over and said, “Wait, why?”

“Get whatever you want,” Brady said and I couldn’t argue with that.

I ordered two items from my favorite luxury website, net-a-porter.com and immediately when I got the order confirmation email, I forwarded it to Brady. It was a little pricey and I didn’t want to be accused of trying to hide it or anything.

Brady replied, “You’re welcome.”

After my beautiful net-a-porter splurge and really successful meeting, I was feeling super great and super happy so naturally, I chose that moment to talk to Brittany.

I texted her, “Why are you sending pictures of wedding rings to my man?” Our relationship is just like that so she would know not to get defensive.

“Lol, what do you mean? No idea what you’re talking about, girl,” she said back.

“Facebook! I have his password obviously.”

She sent back the eye rolling emoji and then a few minutes later added, “Psycho.”

She’s right.

About an hour later, she snapped me a tongue out selfie with the caption, “Your boyfriend says hiiiiiiiii!” Which I assumed meant they were chatting on Facebook again. So annoying and so bitchy.

Brady went straight to the gym after work and I didn’t even want him to come home. When he finally did, I was already in bed and sleeping and shooed him away when he tried to cuddle me.

On Friday afternoon, Monica and I were in the copy room together. Even though she’d seemed mad at me for a while, I was still super friendly and nice and asked how her work was going. She started opening up and explaining some of her projects to me.

There was a lull in our conversation and I grabbed my papers preparing to leave then Monica said, “Scott thinks you hate it here.”

I turned back to her. “What?”

“He thinks you’re really unhappy. He asked me what I thought the other day.”

“And what did you say?”

Monica shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t tell if you’re moody or just like, super serious now.”

“I’m not moody,” I scoffed. “I think everyone else is super serious so I kind of have to be too.”

She gave me a sympathetic smile. “The big guys are just freaking out about the numbers. I’m sure it’ll get better.”

I don’t know why, but it really bothered me. Why was Scott talking to Monica about me? If he feels that I’m unhappy, shouldn’t he talk to me about it? Isn’t that how you retain employees? You can’t just assume someone is unhappy and then not try to do anything about it.

I was still upset by the time I got home. I pulled out my laptop and started replying to emails in the living room then Brady arrived home soon after. I was still annoyed at him about messaging Brittany and my day at work didn’t help.

Brady stopped in the living room and said hello then went to put his stuff down. When he came back, he had Tucker and a bag of pretzels in his arms.

“How was your day?” he asked, sitting down next to me.

“Stupid,” I mumbled, not looking up at him.

“Why? What happened?”

“It was literally so stupid, I can’t even explain it. I’m probably not going back.”

Brady didn’t say anything, but I could feel him staring at me. His phone was sitting on the coffee table next to me and it lit up, alerting him that he had a new text message. Instinctively I looked over to see who it was. Hailey. I threw a fit.

“Seriously?” I exclaimed. “Why are you still texting her? Do you really have such low self esteem that you need a college student to stroke your ego?”

Brady’s brow furrowed and he started to say something, but I cut him off.

“And messaging one of my closest friends, you are so slimy.”

“Your friend messaged me – about you! You should know that because you read it! Here, take my phone and read all my messages. You can have all my passwords so you can control everything because that’s clearly what you want! You can have it! I don’t fucking care!” Brady stood up and slammed his phone on the coffee table. “Hailey is texting me because one of my patients died. I don’t need her to stroke my ego, I don’t fucking care about her! God!”

Brady stormed off, leaving his phone. I guess he really was serious. I didn’t appreciate him screaming at me so I sat there pouting and refusing to follow him. His phone lit up a few more times: emails, ESPN, etc. Nothing/no one important. Eventually I called Tucker to go out for his final walk then we got in bed with Brady.

The next morning, I completely forgot about our fight and woke up looking for my boo. He wasn’t in bed so I got up and found him in the dining room. He was shirtless and wearing glasses, while working on his laptop.

“Wanna go get food?” I asked.

Brady was resting his chin in his hand and he didn’t look up or move as he said, “I don’t want to talk to you.”

Jeez. I spun on my heel and walked out, unsure of what to do. I showered and got dressed then sat on the bed. Kendra was having brunch with John and John’s sister and husband so I couldn’t call her to complain. Carly wasn’t exactly the best person to call since I haven’t spoken to her about anything other than wedding stuff for weeks. So I finally called Preston.

“Hey, my love,” he answered.

“I miss you. Let’s hang out,” I said.

“I wish I could, doll. I’m working right now.”

At that moment, Brady walked in. He glanced in my direction, but made a beeline for the bathroom.

“Let’s go out tonight though. My friend is having a party in Wicker,” Preston continued.

“I’m always down for Wicker Dicker,” I said, loud enough for Brady to hear.

After I got off the phone with Preston, I went shopping to find something to wear that evening. I wasn’t even in the mood to shop so I ended up putting on an oversized plaid shirt and super tight ripped up jeans that I had at home. I met Preston at his studio then we Ubered to the party.

It was just getting started when we arrived. The host was a burley looking guy who Preston informed me was a drug dealer. After being introduced to the host, the roommate came and introduced himself to me and Preston. His name was Tony. The first thing he said after introductions was, “That’s a god-awful name.”

Preston and I looked at each other then Tony said, “I’m sorry. I’m rolling.”

I didn’t understand what he meant by that until Preston said, “And you didn’t share?”

“I didn’t know anyone else would be interested,” Tony said.

Preston assured Tony that he was interested and Tony told him they could exchange the molly out on the balcony.

They began to walk away and Preston said, “Reese, are you coming?”

I shook my head. “No. I’ll wait for you here.”

I feel like they were gone forever, but maybe it was just because I was stuck talking to the drug dealer host guy who had nothing important to say.

Preston finally came back and he’d taken off all his top layers and was just wearing a thin tank top and his shorts.

“Reese, babe,” he sang. “We’re going dancing. [He started twerking]. Are you coming?”

It was only like 11:30 at this point so I figured why not. We walked with Tony and another one of the roommates to a club not far from their apartment. Preston was over the top flirting with Tony which I found entertaining because Tony was too out of his mind to even notice. Someone ordered shots of whiskey and we all danced and talked.

About an hour and a half later, I grabbed Preston’s arm and said, “Let’s go, I’m tired.”

Preston shrugged away from me. “You can go! I’m having fun!”

Even though I know Preston is capable of taking care of himself, I didn’t want to leave him with these two men neither of us really knew. So I stayed even though I was literally yawning and sitting on a bench. Preston was dancing in front of me and firing off questions at Tony, who was sitting next to me.

Eventually someone got the idea to go find food, which I was obviously down with so we walked to a nearby taco spot. I ordered a huge meal consisting of three beef tacos, a cheese quesadilla, rice and beans. It was fucking disgusting. I took one bite and vowed to never stray away from my diet again.

Finally, after we’d finished eating, it was 2:30 AM and Tony said he was going home.

“What’s your number? We have to do this again!” Preston said eagerly and shoved his phone in Tony’s face.

After they exchanged numbers, Tony said, “It was nice meeting you, Reese,” and hugged me.

Then he turned to Preston and shook Preston’s hand. Preston looked wounded.

Tony started walking home and Preston flagged down a cab.

“Bye, love! Let me know when you get home!” Preston said, kissing me on the cheek before running to get in his cab.

When I got home, Brady and Tucker were laying on the living room couch with all the lights off and the tv on. I walked in and sat at the end of the couch and Brady watched me. We just stared at each other for a moment. I called Tucker over to me and he bounded over.

“Your daddy’s mean,” I said to Tucker in a baby voice.

“Your mommy is too,” Brady said back in a normal voice.

I looked up at him and I started bawling. Because of course. I picked Tucker up and went to our room to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up and immediately called my mom to wish her a happy Mother’s Day. She had plans to go to dinner with my grandparents that night which made me happy that at least she wasn’t alone.

Brady wasn’t in bed so I got up to go find him. We hadn’t talked about anything and I wanted things to go back to normal. There was a light pink card standing on the nightstand. I picked it up and discovered that it was a Mother’s Day card signed from Brady and Tucker. Cried.

So things are fine now. We apologized and we are obsessed with each other again. Thank goodness. Having Brady give me the cold shoulder for a day and a half was not fun. Still waiting on that Facebook password though.

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am i a lesbian?

Ever since we got back from San Francisco Brady has been a little moody. Not mad or grumpy, but like sad. And distant. He’s been going to the gym a lot which he’s never really been into. I will admit that he was a little bit more muscular and toned when we first met, but now he’s just skinny from running. So he’s been spending a lot of his free time at the gym. It’s weird. I made plans to tag along one day, but of course I overslept and he went without me.

Sales at work have plummeted so Mike was in the office all last week. There are a lot of things that have contributed to the slump in sales (not to make excuses but): my team is lazy, Monica isn’t doing her job and our designers aren’t great. But of course, I didn’t tell Scott or Mike this, I’ve just been doing anything I could do to turn it around quickly.

One day I passed Mike in the hallway and without even looking up at me, he said, “Meet me in my office in 20 minutes.”

Naturally I was freaking out, wondering if I was about to become a stay at home against my own will. I prepared for the meeting by gathering a ton of data and projections that would be in line with my plans.

Twenty minutes later, I was standing outside Mike’s dark office. He clearly wasn’t in there and I started second guessing myself. Had I heard incorrectly? After I waited for about fifteen minutes, Mike finally showed up. He was barking orders at Kelsey and unlocked and entered his office without even acknowledging me. I followed them in and sat in a chair while Kelsey rattled off some of the things that were on his to do list. Mike listened to her while glaring at me. It was weird.

“Thanks, Kelsey. Please enjoy your lunch and I’ll see you when you get back,” he said once she was finished.

After Kelsey left Mike turned on his iPad and still didn’t acknowledge me. Ugh. The man has no social skills.

“So you wanted to see me?” I finally said.

“Yes. What’s going on, Reese? I thought I made my expectations clear,” he said, not looking up from his iPad.

“You did. I’m going to try out some new things. I noticed that some of our recent feedback said-”

Mike finally looked at me and cut me off. “I don’t care. You know what my expectation is so make it happen.”

I nodded. “Sure.”

His cell phone rang and I waited while he picked up, thinking he would make it a quick call. I realized that he was probably talking to whoever he reports to and I felt like I was intruding so I left.

Scott texted me a little while later and was like, “You had a meeting with Mike today? How did it go?”

I’m not sure who told him about the “meeting” (I wouldn’t even consider it that), but he was obviously freaking out about not being there.

“It went fine. It was brief,” I replied.

“Whenever you interact with Mike I need to know about it, Reese,” he lectured.

I rolled my eyes. Scott is such a control freak. And then he gets so frazzled. Like chill, dude. You should not have hired me if you didn’t think I could handle shit on my own.

Brady’s mom finally emailed me. I’d been refreshing my email nonstop waiting for the email to come in. I literally didn’t have a clue what she would possibly need to email me, but I was dying to know. I kept asking Brady if he had any ideas and he assured me that he was just as clueless as I was.

The subject of the email was: “Please read.” Straight forward, but unnecessary. Obviously I’m going to read it.

“Hi Reese. I hope this email finds you well. A few months ago, you mentioned that you’d like to get involved in the charity business and I’d love to help you if I can.”

How sweet, right? I can’t believe she remembered that I said that and actually took me seriously. She went on to tell me about this nonprofit organization here in Chicago that her colleague’s son is the director of. It’s an organization that helps raise money for children with extensive medical issues. It’s cool because they raise money in creative ways like having dinner mystery parties. Anyway, they are looking for people to join the planning commitee which is where I would come in. So nice of her to think of me. She attached the contact information for the director (who she’s already told about me) and who I obviously looked up on LinkedIn. I’m nosy.

The email had another attachment which Brady’s mom instructed was, “Some light reading.”

It was an article about decisions Christians must make or something like that. I didn’t make it past the first paragraph because it seemed like one of those judgey/guilt trip articles and I wasn’t in the mood.

So I just emailed her back saying that I would contact him and thanks for the information. I haven’t heard anything since.

Over the weekend, Brady had some friends over. I wasn’t in the mood to socialize, but I thought it would help Brady get out of his funk so I didn’t complain. I thought I’d be a good host and make drinks for everyone (Lindsey and two of her coworkers and one of Brady’s friends from home).

Lindsey and I ended up having a thirty minute conversation about hair, makeup and beauty and I was so engrossed in educating her in all things glamour that I didn’t notice Brady’s coworker, Maddie, walk in. Do y’all remember Maddie? Ugh. She needed to be in on the glamour conversation too if we are being honest. She was with two of her friends.

“Hey, Reese,” Maddie said, waving.

“Hi,” I said back.

“These are my friends, Abby and Allie.” She gestured toward her two friends. I’ve met Abby before a long time ago. She’s pretty boring and plain like Maddie is. Allie on the other hand looked like a grunged out Miss America with her bright teeth, thick brown eyebrows and blonde hair. I wanted to be her friend.

“Do y’all want a drink?” I asked, mostly to my new partner in crime.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” Allie said. She even had a sexy raspy voice. Am I turning into a lesbian? Did that one drug induced kiss change me forever?

I mixed up some margaritas and then Brady came rushing over.

“Can you make like four more of those? Thanks,” he said, hastily and then he left just as quickly as he arrived.

I gave a “Do I look like your fucking maid?” look and Allie caught it and laughed which I appreciated. I mixed the margaritas up in the blender and waited about thirty seconds for Brady to come get it.

When he didn’t, I grabbed the entire pitcher and set off to deliver it. I found Brady sitting just outside on the patio with some people I didn’t recognize.

“Here,” I said, shoving the blender at him.

Brady gestured for me to sit it down, but didn’t say anything. That annoyed me and I suddenly just wanted everyone to go home so I could hang out with my man. I scooped Tucker up and locked ourselves in the bedroom until everyone left.

On Sunday, I borrowed Brady’s laptop because mine was dead. He was preparing dinner (a fresh salad for me and a steak for himself) and I sat in his spot in the dining room sending a few emails. (Remind me to tell y’all about my newest diet. My body looks bomb and I have so much energy throughout the day) Once I was done, I went to Facebook and what do you know? Brady was already signed in. I wasn’t going to stick around and snoop through his things but an instant message popped up and it was from my friend Brittany! I almost died.

“Thought anymore about Houston? ;-)” she said. It was from April 22nd and Brady hadn’t responded.

They had exchanged some messages previously and while reading from bottom up, I gathered that they were discussing relationships and how hard dating is. Brittany is one of those girls who is always “talking” to someone, but never has a boyfriend. I scrolled up quickly to see how far back the messages went and saw a photo from Brittany. I recognized her hand with a tacky French manicure wearing a Kim Kardashian-esque rock on her left ring finger.

“This,” was what she wrote under it.

Brady walked into the room with my salad.

“Why is Brittany messaging you?” I asked, turning the laptop toward him.

He leaned down and looked at the screen then shrugged. “She needs someone to talk to?”

“Why is she talking to you? She’s my friend, not yours!” I realized what a huge baby I sounded like, but whatever.

“I don’t know.”

“Of course you don’t. Stop talking to her,” I said. I love Brady, but I’m sick of him.

Having seen enough, I logged Brady out and signed into my own Facebook. I feel weird about having to confront Brittany about talking to Brady. I think I’m afraid that I’ll tell her to back off and she will be like, “What? I’m not interested in your boyfriend, I’m not even attracted to him, don’t flatter yourself, blah blah blah…” And even though it’ll be a lie, I will feel really stupid.

Anyway, I have a formal meeting with Scott and Mike tomorrow that I should probably prepare for and get more than a couple of hours of sleep. Plus I started a huge home office reno that I’m dying to work on. I’m going for an early 1900s library inspired look and it’s going to be a lot of work to find books to stage in there.

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