On Monday, I worked until close to 11:00 PM. I feel like a slave these days. I mentioned to Brady that I would probably be working late and he said okay then didn’t bother talking to me at all throughout the day. On Tuesday I made plans of leaving work at a decent time then going over to Brady’s to talk about life. I left the office at around 6:00 PM, but made a pit stop at Bloomingdale’s to find some new booties. It’s never to soon to start shopping for fall! I couldn’t find anything I wanted so I walked down the street to Neiman Marcus. Much better selection. I ended taking home a pair of black Rag and Bone booties and then preordering a pair of Loubs that will be perfect for the holidays. So excited!
After I left I called Brady and he didn’t pick up. So I texted him, “Heyyyy, are you home yet? I’m coming over.”
He didn’t respond right away so I stopped by Sephora and got a new tinted moisturizer, setting powder, under eye concealer, red lipstick and a face wash. By the time I left Sephora, Brady had not texted or called me back, but I figured he was still busy at work. I sat in my car and played around on Facebook and Instagram because I had nothing better to do. Do you know the “following” tab on Instagram where you can see the pictures your followers liked and stuff? I don’t usually click on that, but because I was kind of bored, I did. The second thing that popped up was that Brady liked a picture 12 seconds before. It was of something really stupid like a guy surfing I think.
So he wasn’t busy at work. He was clearly on his phone and had to have seen my missed call and text. I was livid. Like, filled with rage. I wanted to delete and block his number and never speak to him again. I wanted to completely disappear from his life so he would see the consequences of ignoring me.
But instead, I sped over to Brady’s hoping he would be home so I could rip him a new one. How fucking dare he ignore me? And for close to two days straight at that. When I got there, Brady still wasn’t home so I let myself in. I made myself a sandwich then sat and ate it alone with a glass of wine. It was actually really pathetic.
When Brady finally texted me back, it was around 8:45. All he said was, “Hey.”
Hey. Hey. Are you kidding? I took a deep breath and said back, “Why are you ignoring me?”
He said, “I’m not.”
Ew. He was being so short and mean. I said, “Where have you been then? I called and texted you.”
“I’ve been busy at work.”
I was so irritated that I didn’t even say anything back. Then Brady said, “I’m on my way home now.”
I said, “K.”
Obviously I was waiting by the front door when he walked in. His hands were full with his laptop bag and what looked like takeout.
“Oh, hey,” Brady said, sounding surprised to see me.
“Hi,” I said pointedly. “I’ve literally been here for four hours waiting for you. Why are you ignoring me?”
“I’m not ignoring you.”
“Yes you are. I saw you liking pictures on Instagram before you even replied to me! You’re so fucking rude, Brady! What’s your problem?”
“Stop yelling at me,” he said. I was so surprised that I didn’t even know what to say. Where did he find a set of balls at? He never stands up to me!
Brady walked past me and I followed him. He brought home Chinese and even though I had just eaten I started going to town on the fried rice. I suddenly wasn’t as mad anymore.
“How was your day?” Brady asked, finally breaking the silence.
“It was fine. I got new boots! You have to see!” I said and excitedly pulled them out of the bag.
Brady barely looked at them before saying, “Did you really need another pair of shoes?”
I gasped, offended. “Obviously yes. We’re switching seasons so I need some new pieces.”
“You mean you don’t have boots from last winter? What’s the point of spending money on designer shoes if you’re only going to wear them for one season?” he wanted to know.
“Because…” I actually didn’t know how to answer that.
“Don’t you want to save your money for something significant? You spend it like it’s going to vanish,” he went on.
“Whoa, okay. I do not. I just like to have nice things. Why are you picking a fight with me? It’s not like I’m spending your money.”
“I know. I’m not trying to fight with you. I just think you shop a lot.”
I tucked my shoes back in the bag while pouting. We finished eating in silence then I dug around the takeout bag to find the fortune cookies. Best part of the meal. My fortune said something about money. Ha ha ha.
We retreated to the couch and I turned on a movie. Brady pulled out his laptop and I watched the movie and we didn’t talk until he asked if I was ready for bed. It made me really sad. I feel like all we do lately is bicker and fight and sometimes have sex. We used to have so much fun together. I definitely don’t want to go to New York if it’s going to make us hate each other.
On Wednesday I worked from home and quit early so I could meet Preston and Kendra for drinks. Preston and I arrived first and I filled him in on the latest drama.
“Reese, baby doll, I love you to death. You know this, right?” Preston began. I nodded. “But you’re a crazy bitch.”
“Heyyyyyy,” I whined.
“Did Brady ever even ask you to go to New York with him? You just started making plans to go before he even said he wanted to go.”
“I assumed when he told me that it was an invite and he wanted us to go together.”
“What you need to do is apologize for jumping the gun and making assumptions and ask him what he really wants to do. I feel like even if he did want to go to New York, you kind of ruined things already.”
I pouted.
“I’m not trying to be mean, boo. If I can’t be honest with you then who can?”
I knew Preston was right and decided to apologize for inviting myself and not allowing Brady to do what he wanted. After drinks I drove to Brady’s and when I got there he was in the shower. I poured a glass of wine and found myself sitting at the dining table in front of his computer. There were stacks of papers all over the table so I decided to casually look through them. I think I wanted to find a bank statement or a lease for an apartment in New York or something, but I didn’t. I did, however, find what appeared to be some sort of official offer letter for the position in New York. I didn’t read it and just focused on the bold writing down at the bottom which had the compensation. Brady was right about the relocation money not covering the rent of that Central Park apartment, but the salary for his six month contract would be much, much more than what (I think) he makes here. For only six months! So I’m not sure why he was complaining about money. Why would he even think about turning that down? Plus he has a shitload in savings that he wouldn’t even have to dip in to. I took a picture of the offer letter for my records then went and got in bed.
After Brady got out of the shower and got in bed with me, I hugged him and asked him to tell me about his day. After he told me, I asked, “Are you kind of sad you turned down going to New York?”
“I haven’t turned it down,” he replied.
“Oh. Why?” I wanted to know.
“I know you want to go and I don’t want to take that away from you,” he answered.
I shook my head furiously. “This isn’t about me at all. My job isn’t sending me to New York, yours is. I want to do whatever you want to do.”
“I don’t want you to be unhappy.”
“I’m unhappy because we’re fighting about this all the time. You just let me know if you want to stay here or go or if you want to go alone…”
“I don’t want to go alone,” Brady interjected.
“Well, you need to figure out what you want to do as soon as possible. You’re being more indecisive than me right now.” I rolled my eyes.
He laughed and pulled me on top of him so we could have sex. Afterward he dropped a bomb and told me that his parents are going to be here this weekend. I groaned and complained about them visiting too much. Brady agreed.
So yeah. I still don’t know if we are going or not, but I’m leaning toward no? I’m okay with not going although I don’t see how Brady could turn down that much money to live in New York for a few months. Oh well. Not my problem.
hot mess in high heels. 
I’m glad that you have a friend like Preston to give you good, honest advice. A friend who really knows you giving you advice has a greater impact than a bunch of strangers on the internet telling you what to do.
It’s really great that you and Brady talked about things.
http://www.thesimplespiel.com/noelles-corner
totally agree. and I def need someone who keeps it brutally honest.
You still didn’t really talk about it and you still haven’t offered to help him with the costs of moving. Yet he still wants to go because you want to go. I bet now because you see that he will be getting a pay raise you will not offer to help with rent or bills and will spend all your money on shoes!
You took a picture of his offer letter? After snooping through his things? WTF?
seriously, Seriously.
I have to agree with Seriously. That compensation letter was none of your business. You shouldn’t be snooping through his stuff anyway, but to take a picture ‘for your records’???? Delete that picture. What he makes is really none of your business. I would be furious if I were Brady.
if we are going to be living together and possibly getting married one day then what he makes is totally my business. plus the letter was just sitting out, it’s not like I logged into his email or anything.
So why don’t you to talk about all that stuff? Bring everything on the table and discuss finances and what your priorities are. That’s how it shoukd be done. Not by taking pictures of his documents. If you both agree to share all that stuff and plan your future together then at that point he will need to share that kind of stuff with you. Until then, you’re not there yet. Same way he shouldn’t snoop around on your financials either
Reese how can you rationalize what you’re doing? Going through Brady’s emails last week and taking a picture of his offer letter this week? Brady’s salary is not your business. You can keep telling yourself it is to justify your behavior but it isn’t. I’m beginning to think that only material things and money matter to you. You’re so caught up in how he’ll make and how he can totes afford that apartment that you can’t see the truth. You’ve never once offered to help Brady financially and should keep your mouth shut when it comes to his salary and finances. You can do whatever you want with your paycheck even if it means shopping. Why can’t Brady save and spend what he wants?? This double standard and self righteous attitude is not going to take you far. How do you think Brady will feel when he finds out what you’ve done?
I’m sorry! I don’t think he should get the $7500 apartment if he thinks it’s too much! I don’t think he would be happy if he knew what I did.
I think Brady probably does want to go to NYC; he doesn’t seem like the kind of person to be super vocal about his opinions, though. He wouldn’t just be going to make you happy, although that may be a factor. I still think it’s a good idea, because it’ll be a change of pace for y’all, and you get to practice living together full time, it seems like that’s what you both want. Even though he’ll be making a lot more money, he’ll be spending a lot more, so he may just see it as breaking even. The east coast is more expensive in almost every way imaginable–Chicago is still super cheap heaven to me, and I didn’t even live in NYC.
I don’t think he would go just to make me happy either.. he isn’t that much of a pushover! I do think he wants to go but is a little afraid of the commitment.
Don’t you see anything wrong with your behavior? What gives you the right to go snooping through Brady’s personal things and then take a pic of the letter? You wonder what’s wrong with your relationship, I’ll tell you. You have zero respect for Brady. What is it your business how much Brady will make? You say you’re willing to help financially but you stay quiet when Brady talks about cost. Brady doesn’t want to move and you need to understand that.
Brady does want to move! he said he does. is it his business how much I shop or have saved?
Yes especially considering you’re not offering to help with anything. At least Brady says what he thinks instead of being sneaky and manipulative.
Brady hardly EVER says what he thinks. lol and if anyone is manipulative its him. what have I done that was manipulative?
I only think it’s his business and your business if you two have the conversation about money. Especially if you guys plan on being together long term. Other than that…nope! You don’t need to know how much he’s gonna be making and he can’t say ‘boo’ about how often you buy shoes!! Lol
So proud you actually talked to him about the move. Great progress there my dear 🙂
Why would you need to take a picture of his letter “for you records?” You do realize that Brady is not saying he wants to go to New York. “I want you to go and don’t want to take that from you” and “I don’t want you to be unhappy” don’t sound like comments a man that wants to go to New York makes. He’s doing this because he knows how bad you want it. Preston is right and you saying that he when he told you took it as an invite and he wanted you two to go together. You didn’t allow him to make a choice, you did for him and then started making demands on what type of place you wanted. It sickens me to read about how you talk about Brady’s money and savings. Not to be mean but it makes you sound like a gold digger. Have you ever taken an economics class? Yes Brady’s salary might be higher but the cost of living in NY is much higher too. It’s not like he’s going to have all this spare money laying around. Plus didn’t he say that this opportunity won’t lead to anything else. Maybe he is worried about what’s going to happen in 6 months when this job ends. You seem to be the type that doesn’t look forward and thinks everything will always be the same and the money will be flowing forever while Brady is saving for a rainy day. He should be applauded for that not have you bitch that he has a shitload in savings and a huge compensation for 6 months.
I don’t want anyone to think I’m a gold digger. I’m not. I make my own money and can support myself. it sucks that people think that I would need Brady for his money because it isn’t like that all.
Then quit being so shady and looking for, and/or through, his finances. You tried to get him to buy you a $40,000+ ring before he had even proposed to you, for pete’s sake. Short answer, quit being so obsessed about Brady’s money and people won’t think you’re a gold digger.
he said I could get a ring!!!
If you don’t want to come off as a gold digger then you should stop focusing so much of Brady’s income and savings. I think you’ve written more about his money and what you want or ask him for than what you like about him or how happy he makes you. Would you be into Brady if he lost it all and was struggling to make ends meet and couldn’t get you the fancy things you want.
of course I would still be into him. I don’t need him to buy me anything, I have my own money!
then why couldn’t you say I don’t care where we live as long as I’m with you instead of prattling off all your must haves for an apartment or when he brought up the cost? Why didn’t you offer to help out?
I don’t know!
If you are going to be living together (and possibly getting married) then that is the time to discuss finances. Notice I said discuss, not look through his shit hoping to see bank statements or anything else. Also i must point out that those were papers from his work sitting on that table. Which means even more that you didn’t have the right to snoop! You and Brady are a couple, but that doesn’t mean that everything that is Brady’s is automatically yours.
I don’t think you gave NYC a lot of thought and subconsciously when Brady said he’d look for apartments assumed he would take all responsibility with moving and all the costs of living in NY.
first off, he is getting a raise, you’re not. you would be subletting your apartment, which is (probably) significantly cheaper than the rent you’d be splitting in NY, plus you’d be traveling for work (which I assume you’re paying out of your own pocket) plus other living expenses in NY.
I understand why Brady asks you about your shopping while he is saving and being a little passive aggressive about his money and how much shit costs. maybe it’s not that HE can’t afford it, but maybe he doesn’t wanna shoulder all the extra costs plus shouldering your share also.
you know how much he makes, you guys need to discuss finances. be honest with yourself and consider your living expenses while single and while you’ve been half-living with Brady, just because he isn’t saying anything doesn’t mean he isn’t starting to resent paying for shit while you shop for shoes 😦
I think you’re totally right. thanks for the comment, it definitely made me see things a bit differently.
I kind of feel like your looking for trouble with taking a pic of the letter. Do you plan on throwing that $$ in his face if he brings up expenses again and then having a pic of the letter to prove that you know how much he’s making? If you really think you deserve to know his financial situation, then have a real conversation about both of your finances and make a plan for how NYC can work with both of you chipping in.
Also, the next time shit hits the fan and you bring up the emails with his ex, think about how you are basically doing the same thing. Even though they talked about meeting up when he gets to NYC, did you and your ex talk about when he would be in your city? I know you didn’t actually meet up with him, and I don’t think Brady would meet up with her either.