weekend with the republicans – pt. two.

On Saturday morning I woke up at 7:00 – I think I couldn’t sleep because I was in a strange place. I got out of bed, showered and put on my most Republican outfit (head to toe J. Crew). Then I ventured upstairs to 1. get some cell service and 2. see if anyone else was up.

I heard a commotion in the kitchen so I checked there first. Brady’s mom was standing at the stove and his dad was sitting at the island with an iPad.

“Hello,” Brady’s mom said shortly. “Brady’s in the shower. Are you hungry?”

I wanted to say no and run for the hills, but that would be rude. So I said yes and then sat at the island and waited. They pretty much ignored my entire existence after that and it was awkward so I just played on my phone.

When Brady finally got out of the shower, we all had breakfast in the dining room. The parents questioned Brady about his job and his condo and a bunch of other stuff, but didn’t ask me anything or really talk to me at all. Maybe they decided they wouldn’t ask girlfriends/wives anything anymore.

The car to take us to Boston was supposed to arrive at 5:00 so we had to start getting ready pretty early. In the middle of the day, Brady’s mom confronted me and said, “This party is quite conservative and I just wanted to make sure what you plan on wearing is appropriate.”

Obviously the party was going to be conservative and obviously I brought a dress with sleeves plus tights because it was cold. I don’t appreciate her treating me like I’m some bimbo who doesn’t know how to act in society.

So we all got ready and Hunter and Dom met us at the house so we could all go together. Hunter looked nice in a navy fitted suit, trimmed facial hair and slicked back bun, but Dom looked the exact opposite of conservative so obviously Brady’s mom didn’t have a little talk with her beforehand. She wore a strapless teal tea length dress with a (most likely faux) fur stole and tiny gold heels. Her dreadlocks were pulled into a huge bun on top of her head and it was so fabulous that I wondered if I could pull off white girl dreads. She had colorful tattoos covering her back, shoulders and biceps and I swear Brady’s mom vommed a little when she walked in.

We all packed into the limo and somehow I ended up next to Dom. The parents weren’t really talking to either of us so I decided to try to be nice again.

“I love your hair. It’s so pretty,” I said.

She turned and glowered at me. “Are you trying to be funny?”

What is that, insecurity? Pure bitchiness? I genuinely thought her hair was pretty, but never fucking mind. I spent the rest of the limo ride pretending to be a part of the conversation.

When we were almost to the venue, Brady’s mom turned to Dom and said, “Can you take that out?” hastily.

She was clearly talking about the nose hoop and Dom simply said, “No.” Even though she’s a complete bitch, I definitely admire her for standing up to Brady’s mom. I don’t think I would’ve had the nerve to.

The party wasn’t like any party I’ve ever been to. First of all, there was no music. How can they even call it a party when there isn’t any music playing? So everyone was just kind of sitting around drinking drinks from the open bar and eating. Brady’s parents had to go make their rounds since they were the hosts so Brady, Hunter, Dom, and I went to the bar to get drinks.

The four of us stood around talking for a few minutes then Dom grabbed Hunter and said, “Let’s go.” And even though she’s about the size of one of his legs, she literally dragged him away. 

So Brady and I finally had some kind of alone time. I felt like I hadn’t really talked to him the whole trip.

“She’s kind of rude,” I said once they walked away.

“She feels attacked,” Brady explained.

“I don’t care. I’ve tried making her feel comfortable and she’s been a total bitch. She’s way too defensive,” I said.

We mingled for a little while and then Brady’s mom came over and said she wanted to introduce me to people. So she led me around and introduced me to a bunch of her and Brady’s dad’s coworkers and family friends.

She was like, “This is Brady’s girlfriend,” emphasizing that we aren’t married I guess. It was all obviously just for show because besides introducing me she didn’t say a word to me. I guess she just wanted everyone to know that at least one of her sons is somewhat normal. 

After about a half hour of that, she let me go and I set off to find Brady. I couldn’t find him right away, but I did see Hunter and Dom canoodling in a corner so I asked if they’d seen him.

“Right over there,” Hunter pointed to a general direction and I followed.

I found Brady talking to a little brunette who looked vaguely familiar. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and she had on chic black glasses and matte red lipstick. Her skin was very, very fair – but it seemed intentional, like she just wanted to look translucent.

“It was great seeing you,” Brady said and turned to me, putting his arm around my waist. “My mom finally let me have you back?”

I nodded trying to place where I’d seen the brunette girl before and it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. It was Anna! His ex-girlfriend!

“Yeah, she introduced me to like everyone in the room,” I said. “Except her.”

Brady followed my index finger to Anna, who was walking away.

“Who is that?” I asked innocently.

“That is Anna,” Brady said and turned back to me.

“Anna,” I repeated. “How do you know her?”

“We attended a college preparatory summer program together,” Brady explained and kind of laughed. “Lame, I know.”

“Hmm, that sounds fun,” I said. So he just wasn’t going to mention that they dated?

“Not really. Should we get another drink?”

I knew that prying would make me look suspicious so I had to drop the subject. But why wouldn’t he introduce me to Anna or at least be honest about who she is? (I already know what y’all are going to say: “because he was afraid you would cause a scene.” I wouldn’t have.)

While Brady and I were standing near the bar, I met a super tall and skinny slightly British girl named Kate. She is a recruiter for an accessory, gift and lifestyle company and we immediately hit it off and started talking about our lives and jobs. She lives in New York City and travels a ton for work so naturally I was completely jealous.

After about twenty minutes of talking and getting to know each other, Kate said, “You know, I have the perfect position for you and it can be based out of Chicago.”

“Thank you, but I’m not really looking for a new job at the moment,” I said politely. I had no idea what position she had in mind, but I feel like I’m a good place at work right now.

“I know, I know,” Kate assured me. “But sometimes the best opportunities fall into your lap when you least expect it.”

She was right so I told her we could at least exchange information. I didn’t have any business cards with me so I put my number in her phone. She said she will actually be in Chicago for a day this week so she wants to get coffee. Even though I kind of toyed with the idea of getting a new job a few weeks ago, I don’t think I could ever do that to Diana.

Brady’s dad ended up getting hilariously drunk and demanded music so we could all dance. We finally left just after midnight and got back in the limo. We were all pretty tired and didn’t say much the entire ride home. Well, except Brady’s dad. He wouldn’t shut up.

When we got back to the house, I went downstairs and showered/washed my hair then got in bed. I laid there for a little while then I got up to go to Brady’s room. I expected the house to be dark and everyone to be sleeping, but as I was creeping up the stairs I saw that there was a light in the dining room on and I could hear voices. I assumed it was Brady’s parents, but when I heard Brady’s voice I stopped and held my breath so I could hear what he was saying.

He was talking low so I could only make out mumbles then his mom said, very sternly, “I don’t. like. her.”

Brady said something else then I heard the dad say, “Honey…” and then more mumbles. It sounded like someone stood up and started walking so I quickly tiptoed back down the stairs and to my dungeon.

At first I was like, “They were obviously talking about Dom,” but then the more I thought about it, the more I thought they were talking about me. Why would Brady’s mom talk so passionately about Dom to Brady? Dom really isn’t his problem. And then it sounded like Brady’s dad was kind of defending whoever they were talking about when he said, “Honey…” And he hates Dom too so I highly doubt he would defend her.

Our flight left Boston at around noon on Sunday and Brady’s parents insisted on taking us to the airport. They even took us brunch when we got to Boston so maybe they are at least semi human. They didn’t talk to me much, but did ask how I liked the party and if I enjoyed the trip. Actually, I’m kind of obsessed with Brady’s parents’ house and how it’s so big and secluded. If I pumped some more life into it (maybe some TVs, more colorful decor, people who aren’t robots) then I could totally see myself living there.

I’m tempted to ask Brady if his mom hates me. How can I ask that and get an honest answer? Also, I need to confront him about Anna. Or should I not? He told me they were serious, but maybe he just doesn’t think she’s that important anymore?

Advertisements
Standard

i can’t afford to lose my mind.

By the time Saturday rolled around, I was so fed up with work that I was actually considering finding a new job. Whitney had completely let her promotion go to her head and was marching around the office giving orders to everyone except me because she knows I don’t play that shit. I finally talked to Diana on Friday morning and she said, “From what I understand Dave gave her the go ahead to work on her projects and we really need everyone’s help to execute them.”

Ugh. Fine. I decided that I would start finding vendors for the winter warehouse sale and even got some responses from two potentials. I emailed Whitney a list of what I came up with and a few minutes later she stopped by my office.

“Actually Reese, I think we have enough vendors, but if you want you can start doing a physical inventory of everything in the warehouse,” she said.

Lol yeah right.

So naturally I was ready to let loose on Saturday. Carly was going over to Brady and Chris’s early to help prepare for the party and I decided that I should probably help too so I didn’t look like some useless girlfriend. I ended up spending forty five minutes on my effortlessly chic topknot so I guess I wasn’t very helpful after all.

In the middle of getting ready, I went out to the kitchen to pour another glass of wine. I was starting things off slow so I wasn’t a complete trainwreck by the time Brady’s friends arrived. I poured a healthy glass of vino then saw a Tupperware container full of cookies sitting on top of the refrigerator. I knew I shouldn’t, but I told myself that I could have just one – only because they were chocolate chip and that’s my favorite. The cookie turned out not to be that great which pissed me off because I wasted calories on it.

I finished getting ready and heard guests starting to arrive. I grabbed my glass of wine and went out to greet people in the living room with Carly. Brady and Chris were in the kitchen pouring drinks and shots while we entertained their friends. Once I finished my second glass of wine, all of my limbs started to get tingly. I thought the wine must be laced with something.

“Carly,” I said, turning toward her. “What’s in this wine? I feel really fucking weird.”

Carly was chatting with two guys, but gave me her full attention. “What?”

I just stared at her head which she cocked to the side and I couldn’t help thinking she looked just like my grandparents’ Shih Tzu. I burst into laughter.

“Reese!” Carly whispered loudly. “You didn’t eat any of those cookies in the kitchen, did you?”

I stood there laughing for what felt like half an hour.

“Reese,” Carly said very calmly. “Those are weed cookies.”

“No wonder they tasted like shit,” I said.

Carly started laughing and I laughed with her. She grabbed my arm and dragged me to the kitchen to find our boyfriends. They were huddled by the sink, drinking.

“Reese had a cookie,” Carly announced.

I gave my best Miss USA smile since they were all staring at me.

“You had a whole cookie?!” Chris exclaimed.

“Hey, don’t judge. I’ll work the calories off later,” I said.

“All I can say is have fun,” Chris said. 

“I should’ve warned you not to eat those,” Brady said to me.

“I am fine,” I assured him.

“They are very potent. You aren’t a smoker and you’re a tiny girl. An entire cookie is going to make you lose your mind,” he explained.

I blinked at him for several minutes and started to get nervous. I can’t afford to lose my mind. If I got any stupider I would probably be fired and have to start peddling on Michigan Ave. Oh my God, what if someone who knows me saw?

“Reese,” Brady said, pulling me out of my nightmare.

“Brady,” I said back.

“Do you want to lay down?” 

“Are you fucking kidding? No! Let’s party!”

So I partied. Since I was already high, Carly ate half a cookie to even the score then we went back to the living room to continue greeting people. Kendra and John showed up, but they immediately went to the dining room where all the sophisticated grown ups were apparently hanging out. I let Kendra know that I think she’s becoming a grandma though.

Eventually I met back up with Brady and demanded he introduce me to his friends because most of the guests I’ve never seen before.

I met a really pretty girl who said she works with Brady at the hospital.

“Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed. “So you must know Jessica? Did you know that she sucked-”

Brady literally put his hand over my mouth to shut me up.

“Reese, don’t,” he said gently.

Whatever.

I also met a guy named Mark who turned out to be the realtor who sold Brady his duplex. Mark was cute and once I found out that he works in real estate, I gushed about how much I wanted to buy a house. We laughed about something for fifteen minutes and exchanged business cards so he can help me find a home. Love him for that. 

Brady had walked away at some point during my conversation with Mark and while I was trying to find him, I ran into Preston and a smoldering dark haired kid who looked like he had just landed from NYC or something. He was so chic.

“Preston!” I screamed and pulled him into a hug that felt like it lasted for twenty minutes. I started laughing.

“Reese, are you high?” Preston asked.

I laughed harder, but managed to ask who his friend was in between my fit of giggles.

“This is Dillon,” Preston answered and gave me a look that told me Dillon is the new guy he’s trying to start the three way relationship with. 

“Dillon, you’re so fucking fabulous. Can I be you?” I asked, but heard the doorbell ring before he could answer.

It turned out to be the pizza delivery man because apparently I ordered nine large pizzas on my company credit card. I don’t even remember doing that, but I proceeded to eat five slices while discussing if all males are colorblind (I think they are) with one of Chris’s coworkers.

I met back up with Brady in the living room and we collapsed on the couch.

“Do you remember when we fucked on this couch on my birthday?” I asked.

“Mmhm,” he replied and looked at someone passed out in the exact spot we had sex. We laughed for thirty minutes.

We started making out right there then Brady said, “I want to fuck you.”

And I said, “I do too.”

He stood up, but I felt like I was glued to the couch.

“I can’t get up,” I whined and toppled over.

Brady grabbed me and dragged me to his room and we immediately started getting undressed. We barely made it to the bed before I slid on his dick and started riding him. We completely forgot about the rager going on outside his door.

Best sex of my life. It felt like two hours of pure bliss. We were both moaning and telling each other how good it felt. I could feel my orgasm building in my body and started riding harder.

“Uhhhh, I love you!” Brady shouted.

“I love you too!” I cried and we both came hard as fuck and fell onto the bed.

We just laid there talking about the different ideas we had for our wedding. I told him that I want a very classic black and white theme and he loved it. We decided that the actual ceremony would be very traditional to please our parents, but do our own thing for the reception. I suggested we cater weed cookies.

When I woke up on Sunday, my mouth felt dry like I was eating baby powder all night. Brady was out cold and I watched tv for a few hours until he woke up. We showered and got dressed and went to brunch with Carly, Chris, Kendra and John. Brady never mentioned the fact that we exchanged the L word (gawd, I can’t even bring myself to say it) and neither did I because obviously it was only because we were under the influence. 

Honestly, the whole night was a blur. I think it was fun though. I kind of feel like I’m still recovering.

And I still don’t know how I’m going to explain nine pizzas on this month’s expense report.

Standard