On Saturday morning I woke up at 7:00 – I think I couldn’t sleep because I was in a strange place. I got out of bed, showered and put on my most Republican outfit (head to toe J. Crew). Then I ventured upstairs to 1. get some cell service and 2. see if anyone else was up.
I heard a commotion in the kitchen so I checked there first. Brady’s mom was standing at the stove and his dad was sitting at the island with an iPad.
“Hello,” Brady’s mom said shortly. “Brady’s in the shower. Are you hungry?”
I wanted to say no and run for the hills, but that would be rude. So I said yes and then sat at the island and waited. They pretty much ignored my entire existence after that and it was awkward so I just played on my phone.
When Brady finally got out of the shower, we all had breakfast in the dining room. The parents questioned Brady about his job and his condo and a bunch of other stuff, but didn’t ask me anything or really talk to me at all. Maybe they decided they wouldn’t ask girlfriends/wives anything anymore.
The car to take us to Boston was supposed to arrive at 5:00 so we had to start getting ready pretty early. In the middle of the day, Brady’s mom confronted me and said, “This party is quite conservative and I just wanted to make sure what you plan on wearing is appropriate.”
Obviously the party was going to be conservative and obviously I brought a dress with sleeves plus tights because it was cold. I don’t appreciate her treating me like I’m some bimbo who doesn’t know how to act in society.
So we all got ready and Hunter and Dom met us at the house so we could all go together. Hunter looked nice in a navy fitted suit, trimmed facial hair and slicked back bun, but Dom looked the exact opposite of conservative so obviously Brady’s mom didn’t have a little talk with her beforehand. She wore a strapless teal tea length dress with a (most likely faux) fur stole and tiny gold heels. Her dreadlocks were pulled into a huge bun on top of her head and it was so fabulous that I wondered if I could pull off white girl dreads. She had colorful tattoos covering her back, shoulders and biceps and I swear Brady’s mom vommed a little when she walked in.
We all packed into the limo and somehow I ended up next to Dom. The parents weren’t really talking to either of us so I decided to try to be nice again.
“I love your hair. It’s so pretty,” I said.
She turned and glowered at me. “Are you trying to be funny?”
What is that, insecurity? Pure bitchiness? I genuinely thought her hair was pretty, but never fucking mind. I spent the rest of the limo ride pretending to be a part of the conversation.
When we were almost to the venue, Brady’s mom turned to Dom and said, “Can you take that out?” hastily.
She was clearly talking about the nose hoop and Dom simply said, “No.” Even though she’s a complete bitch, I definitely admire her for standing up to Brady’s mom. I don’t think I would’ve had the nerve to.
The party wasn’t like any party I’ve ever been to. First of all, there was no music. How can they even call it a party when there isn’t any music playing? So everyone was just kind of sitting around drinking drinks from the open bar and eating. Brady’s parents had to go make their rounds since they were the hosts so Brady, Hunter, Dom, and I went to the bar to get drinks.
The four of us stood around talking for a few minutes then Dom grabbed Hunter and said, “Let’s go.” And even though she’s about the size of one of his legs, she literally dragged him away.
So Brady and I finally had some kind of alone time. I felt like I hadn’t really talked to him the whole trip.
“She’s kind of rude,” I said once they walked away.
“She feels attacked,” Brady explained.
“I don’t care. I’ve tried making her feel comfortable and she’s been a total bitch. She’s way too defensive,” I said.
We mingled for a little while and then Brady’s mom came over and said she wanted to introduce me to people. So she led me around and introduced me to a bunch of her and Brady’s dad’s coworkers and family friends.
She was like, “This is Brady’s girlfriend,” emphasizing that we aren’t married I guess. It was all obviously just for show because besides introducing me she didn’t say a word to me. I guess she just wanted everyone to know that at least one of her sons is somewhat normal.
After about a half hour of that, she let me go and I set off to find Brady. I couldn’t find him right away, but I did see Hunter and Dom canoodling in a corner so I asked if they’d seen him.
“Right over there,” Hunter pointed to a general direction and I followed.
I found Brady talking to a little brunette who looked vaguely familiar. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and she had on chic black glasses and matte red lipstick. Her skin was very, very fair – but it seemed intentional, like she just wanted to look translucent.
“It was great seeing you,” Brady said and turned to me, putting his arm around my waist. “My mom finally let me have you back?”
I nodded trying to place where I’d seen the brunette girl before and it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. It was Anna! His ex-girlfriend!
“Yeah, she introduced me to like everyone in the room,” I said. “Except her.”
Brady followed my index finger to Anna, who was walking away.
“Who is that?” I asked innocently.
“That is Anna,” Brady said and turned back to me.
“Anna,” I repeated. “How do you know her?”
“We attended a college preparatory summer program together,” Brady explained and kind of laughed. “Lame, I know.”
“Hmm, that sounds fun,” I said. So he just wasn’t going to mention that they dated?
“Not really. Should we get another drink?”
I knew that prying would make me look suspicious so I had to drop the subject. But why wouldn’t he introduce me to Anna or at least be honest about who she is? (I already know what y’all are going to say: “because he was afraid you would cause a scene.” I wouldn’t have.)
While Brady and I were standing near the bar, I met a super tall and skinny slightly British girl named Kate. She is a recruiter for an accessory, gift and lifestyle company and we immediately hit it off and started talking about our lives and jobs. She lives in New York City and travels a ton for work so naturally I was completely jealous.
After about twenty minutes of talking and getting to know each other, Kate said, “You know, I have the perfect position for you and it can be based out of Chicago.”
“Thank you, but I’m not really looking for a new job at the moment,” I said politely. I had no idea what position she had in mind, but I feel like I’m a good place at work right now.
“I know, I know,” Kate assured me. “But sometimes the best opportunities fall into your lap when you least expect it.”
She was right so I told her we could at least exchange information. I didn’t have any business cards with me so I put my number in her phone. She said she will actually be in Chicago for a day this week so she wants to get coffee. Even though I kind of toyed with the idea of getting a new job a few weeks ago, I don’t think I could ever do that to Diana.
Brady’s dad ended up getting hilariously drunk and demanded music so we could all dance. We finally left just after midnight and got back in the limo. We were all pretty tired and didn’t say much the entire ride home. Well, except Brady’s dad. He wouldn’t shut up.
When we got back to the house, I went downstairs and showered/washed my hair then got in bed. I laid there for a little while then I got up to go to Brady’s room. I expected the house to be dark and everyone to be sleeping, but as I was creeping up the stairs I saw that there was a light in the dining room on and I could hear voices. I assumed it was Brady’s parents, but when I heard Brady’s voice I stopped and held my breath so I could hear what he was saying.
He was talking low so I could only make out mumbles then his mom said, very sternly, “I don’t. like. her.”
Brady said something else then I heard the dad say, “Honey…” and then more mumbles. It sounded like someone stood up and started walking so I quickly tiptoed back down the stairs and to my dungeon.
At first I was like, “They were obviously talking about Dom,” but then the more I thought about it, the more I thought they were talking about me. Why would Brady’s mom talk so passionately about Dom to Brady? Dom really isn’t his problem. And then it sounded like Brady’s dad was kind of defending whoever they were talking about when he said, “Honey…” And he hates Dom too so I highly doubt he would defend her.
Our flight left Boston at around noon on Sunday and Brady’s parents insisted on taking us to the airport. They even took us brunch when we got to Boston so maybe they are at least semi human. They didn’t talk to me much, but did ask how I liked the party and if I enjoyed the trip. Actually, I’m kind of obsessed with Brady’s parents’ house and how it’s so big and secluded. If I pumped some more life into it (maybe some TVs, more colorful decor, people who aren’t robots) then I could totally see myself living there.
I’m tempted to ask Brady if his mom hates me. How can I ask that and get an honest answer? Also, I need to confront him about Anna. Or should I not? He told me they were serious, but maybe he just doesn’t think she’s that important anymore?
hot mess in high heels. 