weekend with the republicans – pt. two.

On Saturday morning I woke up at 7:00 – I think I couldn’t sleep because I was in a strange place. I got out of bed, showered and put on my most Republican outfit (head to toe J. Crew). Then I ventured upstairs to 1. get some cell service and 2. see if anyone else was up.

I heard a commotion in the kitchen so I checked there first. Brady’s mom was standing at the stove and his dad was sitting at the island with an iPad.

“Hello,” Brady’s mom said shortly. “Brady’s in the shower. Are you hungry?”

I wanted to say no and run for the hills, but that would be rude. So I said yes and then sat at the island and waited. They pretty much ignored my entire existence after that and it was awkward so I just played on my phone.

When Brady finally got out of the shower, we all had breakfast in the dining room. The parents questioned Brady about his job and his condo and a bunch of other stuff, but didn’t ask me anything or really talk to me at all. Maybe they decided they wouldn’t ask girlfriends/wives anything anymore.

The car to take us to Boston was supposed to arrive at 5:00 so we had to start getting ready pretty early. In the middle of the day, Brady’s mom confronted me and said, “This party is quite conservative and I just wanted to make sure what you plan on wearing is appropriate.”

Obviously the party was going to be conservative and obviously I brought a dress with sleeves plus tights because it was cold. I don’t appreciate her treating me like I’m some bimbo who doesn’t know how to act in society.

So we all got ready and Hunter and Dom met us at the house so we could all go together. Hunter looked nice in a navy fitted suit, trimmed facial hair and slicked back bun, but Dom looked the exact opposite of conservative so obviously Brady’s mom didn’t have a little talk with her beforehand. She wore a strapless teal tea length dress with a (most likely faux) fur stole and tiny gold heels. Her dreadlocks were pulled into a huge bun on top of her head and it was so fabulous that I wondered if I could pull off white girl dreads. She had colorful tattoos covering her back, shoulders and biceps and I swear Brady’s mom vommed a little when she walked in.

We all packed into the limo and somehow I ended up next to Dom. The parents weren’t really talking to either of us so I decided to try to be nice again.

“I love your hair. It’s so pretty,” I said.

She turned and glowered at me. “Are you trying to be funny?”

What is that, insecurity? Pure bitchiness? I genuinely thought her hair was pretty, but never fucking mind. I spent the rest of the limo ride pretending to be a part of the conversation.

When we were almost to the venue, Brady’s mom turned to Dom and said, “Can you take that out?” hastily.

She was clearly talking about the nose hoop and Dom simply said, “No.” Even though she’s a complete bitch, I definitely admire her for standing up to Brady’s mom. I don’t think I would’ve had the nerve to.

The party wasn’t like any party I’ve ever been to. First of all, there was no music. How can they even call it a party when there isn’t any music playing? So everyone was just kind of sitting around drinking drinks from the open bar and eating. Brady’s parents had to go make their rounds since they were the hosts so Brady, Hunter, Dom, and I went to the bar to get drinks.

The four of us stood around talking for a few minutes then Dom grabbed Hunter and said, “Let’s go.” And even though she’s about the size of one of his legs, she literally dragged him away. 

So Brady and I finally had some kind of alone time. I felt like I hadn’t really talked to him the whole trip.

“She’s kind of rude,” I said once they walked away.

“She feels attacked,” Brady explained.

“I don’t care. I’ve tried making her feel comfortable and she’s been a total bitch. She’s way too defensive,” I said.

We mingled for a little while and then Brady’s mom came over and said she wanted to introduce me to people. So she led me around and introduced me to a bunch of her and Brady’s dad’s coworkers and family friends.

She was like, “This is Brady’s girlfriend,” emphasizing that we aren’t married I guess. It was all obviously just for show because besides introducing me she didn’t say a word to me. I guess she just wanted everyone to know that at least one of her sons is somewhat normal. 

After about a half hour of that, she let me go and I set off to find Brady. I couldn’t find him right away, but I did see Hunter and Dom canoodling in a corner so I asked if they’d seen him.

“Right over there,” Hunter pointed to a general direction and I followed.

I found Brady talking to a little brunette who looked vaguely familiar. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and she had on chic black glasses and matte red lipstick. Her skin was very, very fair – but it seemed intentional, like she just wanted to look translucent.

“It was great seeing you,” Brady said and turned to me, putting his arm around my waist. “My mom finally let me have you back?”

I nodded trying to place where I’d seen the brunette girl before and it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. It was Anna! His ex-girlfriend!

“Yeah, she introduced me to like everyone in the room,” I said. “Except her.”

Brady followed my index finger to Anna, who was walking away.

“Who is that?” I asked innocently.

“That is Anna,” Brady said and turned back to me.

“Anna,” I repeated. “How do you know her?”

“We attended a college preparatory summer program together,” Brady explained and kind of laughed. “Lame, I know.”

“Hmm, that sounds fun,” I said. So he just wasn’t going to mention that they dated?

“Not really. Should we get another drink?”

I knew that prying would make me look suspicious so I had to drop the subject. But why wouldn’t he introduce me to Anna or at least be honest about who she is? (I already know what y’all are going to say: “because he was afraid you would cause a scene.” I wouldn’t have.)

While Brady and I were standing near the bar, I met a super tall and skinny slightly British girl named Kate. She is a recruiter for an accessory, gift and lifestyle company and we immediately hit it off and started talking about our lives and jobs. She lives in New York City and travels a ton for work so naturally I was completely jealous.

After about twenty minutes of talking and getting to know each other, Kate said, “You know, I have the perfect position for you and it can be based out of Chicago.”

“Thank you, but I’m not really looking for a new job at the moment,” I said politely. I had no idea what position she had in mind, but I feel like I’m a good place at work right now.

“I know, I know,” Kate assured me. “But sometimes the best opportunities fall into your lap when you least expect it.”

She was right so I told her we could at least exchange information. I didn’t have any business cards with me so I put my number in her phone. She said she will actually be in Chicago for a day this week so she wants to get coffee. Even though I kind of toyed with the idea of getting a new job a few weeks ago, I don’t think I could ever do that to Diana.

Brady’s dad ended up getting hilariously drunk and demanded music so we could all dance. We finally left just after midnight and got back in the limo. We were all pretty tired and didn’t say much the entire ride home. Well, except Brady’s dad. He wouldn’t shut up.

When we got back to the house, I went downstairs and showered/washed my hair then got in bed. I laid there for a little while then I got up to go to Brady’s room. I expected the house to be dark and everyone to be sleeping, but as I was creeping up the stairs I saw that there was a light in the dining room on and I could hear voices. I assumed it was Brady’s parents, but when I heard Brady’s voice I stopped and held my breath so I could hear what he was saying.

He was talking low so I could only make out mumbles then his mom said, very sternly, “I don’t. like. her.”

Brady said something else then I heard the dad say, “Honey…” and then more mumbles. It sounded like someone stood up and started walking so I quickly tiptoed back down the stairs and to my dungeon.

At first I was like, “They were obviously talking about Dom,” but then the more I thought about it, the more I thought they were talking about me. Why would Brady’s mom talk so passionately about Dom to Brady? Dom really isn’t his problem. And then it sounded like Brady’s dad was kind of defending whoever they were talking about when he said, “Honey…” And he hates Dom too so I highly doubt he would defend her.

Our flight left Boston at around noon on Sunday and Brady’s parents insisted on taking us to the airport. They even took us brunch when we got to Boston so maybe they are at least semi human. They didn’t talk to me much, but did ask how I liked the party and if I enjoyed the trip. Actually, I’m kind of obsessed with Brady’s parents’ house and how it’s so big and secluded. If I pumped some more life into it (maybe some TVs, more colorful decor, people who aren’t robots) then I could totally see myself living there.

I’m tempted to ask Brady if his mom hates me. How can I ask that and get an honest answer? Also, I need to confront him about Anna. Or should I not? He told me they were serious, but maybe he just doesn’t think she’s that important anymore?

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weekend with the republicans – pt. one.

Our flight left Chicago at 4:00 PM on Friday, but Brady insisted on going to work for a half day. I told Diana I would work from home then spent the day shopping, waxing, and packing. Brady told me he would meet me at the airport so I had Carly drop me off.

I sat around the terminal for almost an hour waiting for Brady to show up. When it was almost boarding time I started getting worried and texted him, “Hurry or I’m going to go without you.”

He replied, “Doubt it. I’m almost there.”

Luckily, he came rushing in ten minutes later and we just barely made the plane. Ugh.

“You shouldn’t have even gone to work. You knew it was going to be hard to break yourself away,” I said once we settled in our seats.

“It’s fine. I made it so that’s all that matters,” Brady said.

We landed in Boston at around 7:00 PM and it was already dark. As we were waiting for our luggage, Brady told me that his parents sent a car to pick us up. Fancy! My parents would have just come to pick us up themselves (like normal American parents).

A sleek black Towncar was waiting outside our terminal and the driver took our luggage and held the doors open for us. All of it was actually kind of dramatic. The drive to his parents house was about an hour and a half. Brady told me cute childhood stories on the way and told me about all the little towns we were passing. I couldn’t see anything because it was dark, but I still appreciated his little tour.

We finally pulled into a long driveway that led down to a huge multistory Tudor style house. When the driver opened my door I stepped out and assessed the property. There was nothing but land and trees as far as I could see and it looked like there was some sort of guest house or barn behind the main house.

“This is cute,” I said nonchalantly as if the whole estate wasn’t spectacular.

“Mmhm,” Brady said as he gathered our stuff. He let us into the beautiful, grand two story foyer that was all cherry wood and brick with a leather seating area, piano, and expertly styled console table. The interior designer in me was instantly impressed.

“Brady?” I heard his mom call from another room. “We’re back here.”

We dropped our stuff in the foyer and followed his mom’s voice and met her in the hallway. She welcomed us with stiff hugs and took our coats. She let us know that Hunter and his wife had also just arrived. 

We found them in the kitchen and Hunter said, “Hey Reese. Nice to see you again.” And then he gave me this eyebrow wag that I’m not sure what was supposed to mean.

He was standing next to a tiny little lighter skinned black girl who had black, pink and purple dreadlocks down to her ass. She had on mustard colored tights, a tweed dress that was clearly thrifted or taken out of the garbage and an amazing knee length suede trench coat. I think it was Michael Kors. She had a hoop through her nostril and I suddenly wanted a nose ring.

“I’m Dom,” she said to Brady first and then me.

“Reese,” I said, shaking her hand. I’m only like 5’4, but Dom made me feel like a giant. She had perfect teeth and this amazing plum colored lipstick that I wanted to steal. She was actually strikingly beautiful, not that I would expect any less from Hunter. But they both looked a little bit out of place in the sparkling marble kitchen though.

“Are you guys hungry?” Brady’s mom asked us.

We said no then we all stood around exchanging awkward pleasantries for a few minutes until Brady’s dad came home. He greeted us then we migrated to the living room and all sat around the fireplace/bookshelf situation. I noticed that Dom still had her coat on like she was ready to bolt out of there any minute.

“So!” Brady’s mom said after we all got settled, clearly ready to address the elephant in the room. “You guys are married.”

“We are!” Dom gushed, grabbing Hunter’s hand. “We’re so happy.”

“What made you guys decided not to tell anyone?” Brady’s dad asked, sounding genuinely curious, not condescending.

“We wanted our wedding and our marriage to be about the two of us, not our families or anyone else,” Dom explained.

“What does your family think about this?” Brady’s mom asked.

“I don’t really have family. My dad has been in prison practically my whole life and my mom hasn’t been around in two years.”

“Why is your father in prison?” Brady’s mom asked and it actually offended me. She didn’t say “if you don’t mind me asking,” or anything, she just flat out asked as if it was her business.

“Murder,” Dom said, almost proudly. “And drugs. He was a pretty high profile drug dealer back in the day.”

Silence.

I thought maybe she was making it up just to be ridiculous, but after looking at Hunter’s face I could tell that she was serious.

“What do you do for a living?” Brady’s dad asked, a little too loudly.

“I volunteer full time for a non-profit equal rights campaign.”

More silence. We all knew what “volunteer” meant. You know how most houses have some sort of sound to them? Like at my parent’s house you’ll always hear a TV on or my mom gossiping on the phone or something? This house was eerily quiet. I could almost hear his parents judging. 

“Did you go to college?” Brady’s mom asked.

“Nope. I think college is one huge Ponzi scheme designed to convince society that if they don’t go to college then they won’t be successful. I completely disagree with the whole business model,” Dom said, matter of factly.

I looked around and Brady and Hunter were looking down while the parents looked at each other incredulously.

“Do you think Hunter would have been able to get his wonderful job if he didn’t go to college?” Brady’s mom asked.

“Absolutely not. But only because society is conditioned to think that college makes you smarter, a quicker learner, a harder worker…”

“Well, it does,” Brady’s dad said.

“And blue collar workers can’t be hard workers?” Dom challenged.

“Of course they can, Dominique,” he said like she is five years old and I swear I saw her nostrils flare. “But only because they have to be. If they’d gone to college and got good grades like they were supposed to, they wouldn’t have to be blue collar workers.”

“Like they’re ‘supposed to,'” Dom snorted.

I looked around, appalled at the direction this conversation was going. Why wasn’t anyone else saying anything? Couldn’t Hunter at least defend his wife?

Luckily though, Brady’s mom said to Brady, “So how have you been, son?”

“Um, well,” Brady said with a start. We all waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t.

“Does anyone want tea?” Brady’s mom asked, standing up.

Hunter stood up too. “No thanks. Actually, we were going to go to the bar. Do you guys want to come?” He looked at Brady and me.

Brady looked to me for an answer and I nodded my head slightly so his parents didn’t know I was dying to get out of there.

“We’ll go,” Brady said.

Thank God. We all stood up and grabbed our coats and stuff in record time. We told the parents we would be back in a few hours and climbed into Hunter’s rental car and he started toward the bar.

“Your parents are so much worse than you described,” Dom said from the front seat.

“I’m sorry about that, baby,” Hunter replied.

“The only good thing about them is that they’ll leave you with a ton of money when they die.”

Have you guys ever seen that show Snapped? It’s a guilty pleasure of mine. They have a spin off series about killer couples and what Dom said reminded me of that show. I could totally see her talking Hunter into murdering his parents so they could collect the inheritance. I mean, she does have the murder gene from her dad.

We got to civilization and went to a practically empty divey bar, but I didn’t care. I just needed to drink. We ordered our drinks and sat down at a high top table. Brady and Hunter began having some sort of discussion, leaving me and Dom to sit there quietly. I wanted to break the silence, but I’m pretty sure she and I have absolutely nothing in common so I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Soo,” I started. “Let me see your ring!”

I figured since she had just gotten married and she was a girl, she would be dying to show it off. But she gave me a strange look.

“Hunter and I didn’t do rings.”

I wasn’t even going to ask why, but Dom kept going.

“Do you have any idea what it takes to get diamonds? Are you familiar with the diamond trade in Africa? Blood diamonds?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Do you know what people have to do to get diamonds? Children are mining diamonds to fund wars. People want diamonds because they think it shows status, but in actuality, they are just like any other rock. They aren’t worth anything.”

Ooookay.

“Hunter and I got matching tattoos. That’s more permanent and a thug can’t steal it.”

Alrighty then.

“Let me guess,” Dom said, scowling at me. “You want a huge diamond engagement ring that costs three of his monthly pay checks. You just look like that type.”

I don’t know how she got the impression that I’m some high maintenance priss when I was still in my travel attire: leggings, a Wildfox thermal and boots. 

“I’m not really that concerned about a ring,” I lied.

Dom rolled her eyes and didn’t say anything.

“So what kind of organization do you volunteer for?” I asked.

“We fight violations to human rights. Discrimination, prejudice, gender inequality, racism, sexism, trafficking… Not that you would know anything about that,” Dom said.

I know I probably should have stayed quiet, but I couldn’t. “Aren’t you kind of prejudging me right now? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to be fighting?”

“If this is the biggest violation to your rights then no, this is not what I’m supposed to be fighting.”

“Um, okay. Don’t you think it’s a little unfair to rank some people’s ‘violations’ ahead of others?”

Dom looked at me wildly. “No I don’t. People are being killed, raped, fired, harassed. Any of that happen to you?”

“No,” I said.

“That’s what I thought.”

She was actually really fucking rude so I turned my attention to Brady and didn’t talk to her again for the rest of the night.

Hunter and Dom dropped us off back at the house, but said they’d gotten a hotel. That was probably a good idea. When we got inside, Brady’s mom was surprisingly still up. She told us that she’d put our bags in our respective rooms so clearly we weren’t allowed to sleep together. Brady’s old bedroom was on the main floor in the center of the house right next to his parents’ room. It was exactly what you would expect from teenage Brady: solid colored linens, immaculate dresser/nightstand, and no art on the walls. Literally so boring.

Brady’s mom put my stuff in a guest bedroom with an attached bathroom in the basement. We all said goodnight and I took a long shower and got in bed. Since I was in the basement, I got absolutely no cell phone reception and I immediately got pissed at Brady’s mom because I know she did it on purpose. I laid there trying to fall asleep, but it was hard because I couldn’t surf Facebook or anything to pass the time. I started looking through all my pictures for a while, but I just couldn’t seem to doze off. I finally decided I would sneak to Brady’s room for a secret late night romp.

I crept upstairs in my ruffle shorts and cami, trying to be as stealthy as possible. The house was even more creepy at night when it was completely dark except the random sconces throughout. I thought I found Brady’s room, but suddenly I couldn’t remember which door was his and which one was his parents. They were literally right next to each other.

Finally I decided to just open the one I thought was his and hope for the best. Thank God I opened the right door. Can you imagine how I would have explained to his parents why I was trying to sneak in their room in the middle of the night?

Brady was tucked into bed looking all adorable, but sat up when I slid in.

“Hey. What’s up?” he said softly.

“I missed you,” I said, crawling into the bed with him. “And I wanted to send you a naughty picture, but your mom put me in a room with no reception. Rude.”

Brady smiled, pulling me close by my waist. “Mmhm. That’s the worst.”

We kissed for a minute and then I crawled on top of him. He was just wearing boxers which was perfect.

“I don’t think we should-” Brady started just as I leaned down to take him into my mouth. He obviously didn’t object anymore.

After I got him excited, I got back up and we had the quietest sex ever. Then I quietly crept out and went back down to the dungeon and passed out.

-I’ll post tomorrow about how the party went, I didn’t have time today. Bye!

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