sober tears.

On Monday I had my phone interview and it went really well. So well in fact, that not even an hour after it was over Kate texted me saying, “I heard your interview went well!”

She said the execs in the office want to meet me and asked if I could come to New York City early next week. While I was excited that they wanted to meet me, I can’t just take off work and fly to New York City. I told her that I could go, but it would have to be a weekend. I didn’t hear from her for a few hours so I continued working and kind of forgot about it until Kate called me on my cell phone.

I shut my office door and answered it.

“Hey Reese. I know this is kind of last minute, but we were thinking – we could fly you in on a Friday night red eye, then have the interview Saturday morning and you could be on your way back home by Saturday afternoon,” Kate said.

I didn’t say anything right away. It all seemed kind of rushed. Why were they so thirsty to meet me? I mean, not that I’m complaining. It just seems really fast.

“I know this process is moving fast, but we are trying to get this position filled quickly as the holidays are approaching and this new shop opening,” she explained, as if reading my mind.

“Okay… Let me think about it,” I said. I hadn’t spent any time really, really thinking about if this was even a job I wanted. When Kate explained it to me, it did sound interesting, but I didn’t know if that was enough to make me want to travel all the way to New York City for an interview. I told her I would text her later and let her know.

After work, I went to the fitness class with Kendra and Carly. It was a lot less terrible than last time, but I still regretted going after the first ten minutes of being there. I’m never going back.

On Tuesday, Brady and I got dinner then went back to his place afterwards. I hadn’t told Brady about the potential new job at all aside from the initial conversation Kate and I had at his dad’s party and I wanted to get his take on it. I had tentatively told Kate that I would go to NYC, but I told her I would get back to her after I checked my weekend schedule. I obviously don’t have a weekend schedule except to drink.

I told Brady all about it during dinner and he said, “I don’t see anything wrong with exploring other options. As long as it isn’t affecting your current job. It was responsible of you to schedule your interview for a weekend so you won’t cut into your work.”

I didn’t mention to him that my phone interview was two and a half hours during the workday and I took it from my office. Oops.

He said that until I got an offer, I shouldn’t stress about it. Not that I was stressing or anything. I guess if nothing else, it’s a free trip to New York.

When we got to Brady’s house, he got in the shower while I laid on the bed texting Kate and Preston. Preston was telling me a story about how while he was out with Dillon the other night, Mr. Murphy called him and said he was in the neighborhood and wanted to pick Preston up from his apartment. Preston tried to lie and say he was at work and Murph was like, “Your store closes at 8. Why are you still there?”

So Preston made up this elaborate story about how there was a shoplifter and the police had to come and he had to stay and give a statement, etc. I laughed so hard. Couldn’t he just say there was a meeting or something? 

While I was laying there, I noticed Brady’s phone sitting on the nightstand charging. I tried to talk myself out of touching it, but that didn’t work. I don’t know what I was looking for, but I leaned over and took it off the charger. Before when I looked through his phone, all I had to do was slide to unlock it. But apparently he is actually using his touch ID and a passcode so I couldn’t get in. Okay, like I get it. I shouldn’t have been trying to look through his phone, but still. What’s he hiding?

I replaced the phone and minded my own business until he got out of the shower. I waited until he was almost all the way dressed before asking, “What’s your ex-girlfriend’s name?”

Brady’s entire body paused for two or three seconds then he continued pulling his shirt on.

“Anna,” came his muffled voice from under his shirt. Once he got his shirt on he turned his back to me and started touching stuff on his dresser.

“Anna?” I said, almost excitedly. “The same one I saw you talking to at your dad’s party?”

Brady turned around and faced me. “Yeah.” He sounded defensive. 

“Oookay. So it hasn’t been ‘a while’ since you’ve seen your ex then,” I said, trying really hard not to sound accusatory.

Brady shrugged.

“Why did you lie?”

“I don’t see why it even matters. I hardly ever talk to her or see her so you don’t have anything to worry about,” he said, gruffly.

“I’m not worried. I just think it’s weird that you didn’t introduce me to her and failed to mention that she was your ex and then lied about the last time you’ve seen her,” I said.

“Okay.”

Okay?! Is there anything worse than when you’re having a discussion and/or argument with your boyfriend and he says, “Okay.” Like fuck you.

“That’s all you have to say?” I asked. “No explanation?”

“What do you want me to say, Reese? You were going to flip out on me no matter what!” Brady said, raising his voice.

“If you told me the truth from the beginning, why would I flip out on you? Do you really think I’m that ridiculous?”

Brady didn’t say anything so I took that as a yes.

“I couldn’t care any less about Anna. I have no reason to flip out over you just talking to her,” I said calmly.

“Well, you’re pretty unpredictable sometimes,” Brady muttered. I watched as he opened the door and left the room.

Before I could even stop myself, I just started crying. Ugh. Sober tears. I felt like I really approached him calmly and not accusingly, but obviously that didn’t work. I was so frustrated. For once, I felt like I actually wasn’t in the wrong. I didn’t want Brady to see me crying so I quickly locked myself in the bathroom to clean myself up. After ten minutes, I’d pulled myself together and emerged from the bathroom. Brady was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I think I’m going to go,” I announced.

“I’m sorry,” Brady said.

“Okay…” I said quietly.

He reached out his hand and without even thinking, I took it. He pulled me on the bed next to him.

“I should have introduced you to Anna,” Brady said. “I’ll take full responsibility for that. I guess I just wanted to avoid any awkwardness.”

I nodded.

“You’ve known that she was my ex the whole time, haven’t you?” he asked.

I nodded again, smirking.

“How?”

Oh…shit. 

“Your mom told me,” I blurted out. I was not about to admit to stalking his Facebook.

“Wow, she did?” Brady looked confused.

“Mmhm,” I nodded.

So I’m glad I finally confronted him about Anna and I feel like I got some answers. I’m sure there was a more graceful way to bring the subject up, but I’m anything but graceful. lol. 

Anway, I guess I’m going to New York City for a few hours this weekend. Also, my parents are talking about visiting me for Thanksgiving next week. Maybe they can finally meet Brady! We will see. They claim they’re going to visit all the time and never do. Hmph.

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bloody boobs.

Kendra and I met for dinner on Tuesday night. I didn’t talk to her at all over the weekend so we definitely had some catching up to do.

She seemed to be in good spirits when we sat down at the restaurant. We ordered panzanella and wine and I asked her to tell me about her weekend.

“It was okay. I went into the office on Saturday since I had nothing better to do and I hung out with a girl from work that night. We went to this lounge that I think you would love,” Kendra said.

“That’s good…” I said. I wanted to ask if she’d heard from John, but I didn’t know if he was still off limits.

“Yeah. How was your weekend?” Kendra changed the subject.

I proceeded to tell her all about Dom, Brady’s parents and Anna and she said, “Ugh. Sounds like a oppressed bitch.”

“She is,” I agreed. “Hopefully I don’t have to ever see her again. What do you think about the Anna thing?”

“I can’t tell if it’s sketchy as hell or if Brady is just a pussy. I hope they’re not like, still hooking up or anything.”

“I didn’t get that vibe,” I admitted. “They hadn’t seen each other in a long time, I don’t think.”

“Well hopefully they didn’t exchange numbers and he doesn’t plan on flying out to see her anything.”

I blinked.

“Or fly her here. Honestly Reese, he’s probably already cheated on you.”

“Kendra!” I exclaimed.

“I’m sorry,” she said and then burst into tears. “I didn’t mean that. I just…”

She just sat there bawling and couldn’t get her sentence out. I didn’t know what to do. Our waiter came back with our food and looked startled and uncomfortable at Kendra crying so I motioned for him to set the plates down.

“Kendra,” I said softly. 

“I’m fine,” she blubbered. “Seriously. I just need a moment.”

Kendra scrambled out of her chair and headed toward the bathroom. I waited two minutes before following her. She was standing in front of the mirror wiping her face when I got in there.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” she said evenly.

I caught her eye in the mirror and gave her a look.

“This is just hard,” she finally sniffed. “I miss him so much.”

“Do you think maybe you should talk to him?” I asked.

“No. I don’t want to talk to him.”

I knew that she did want to talk to him, but felt like she shouldn’t.

“Even just for closure? I feel like there’s so many unanswered questions.”

Kendra shook her head. “I can’t. It’s fine. I promise. I’m fine. Let’s go eat, I’m starving.”

I followed her back to our table and we didn’t mention John again for the rest of the evening. So I really don’t know what to do. I feel like Kendra needs to talk to him because she’s just going to be miserable if she doesn’t. But I can understand why she won’t. What he did was awful. And I don’t think there’s anything I can do that will make her feel better. 

On Wednesday, I met with Kate after work. I felt kind of guilty for meeting with her, but I was curious to hear what she had to say. We met at Starbucks right outside her hotel and both arrived at the same time.

“Hi Reese! So glad to see you again!” she exclaimed, hugging me.

We got lattes and sat at a little table in the corner. We talked about Brady’s dad’s party and why she was there. She’s friends with a guy who works with Brady’s mom for some charity (she’s philanthropic? Who knew?) and he invited her to be his date to the party. I told her about my weekend (without getting too in depth) and she laughed.

Finally, Kate said, “I wanted to meet with you so we could talk about this position. It just came open and after talking with you, I thought you would be perfect.”

“Okay… What is it?”

“So it’s the sales director for the Midwest region. We have six shops in the Midwest and we’re gearing up to open our seventh. So basically you would be in charge of the operations, the people, the budget, and of course the sales of all the shops in your region.”

I nodded.

“In addition to that, we have products in hundreds of retailers across the country so you would oversee those relationships within your region and be a liaison between those stores and our New York office.”

I nodded again.

“When I talked to you, you seemed driven, aggressive, and passionate which is exactly what we need. The person who held this role previously couldn’t be counted on to really dig in and make things happen.”

I didn’t exactly know what she meant by “make things happen” or why she thought I could do it.

“You would spend a lot of time traveling to your stores and making sure they are functioning to capacity, but you would also have operational responsibilities that could be done remotely.”

“Okay…” I said.

“And with this new shop opening, you would be responsible for staffing it completely from the shop manager to the shop assistants. Meaning you would have to recruit to find the people you think would best fit the store.”

I took a moment to let all of this sink in.

“I mean, my background is in marketing and advertising. I don’t know anything about hiring people or anything like that,” I said honestly. And even though I guess the ad team is technically my team, they’re pretty independent so it’s not like I have to help develop them or anything.

“Well, you would have an intense month long training where you would shadow one of our top sales directors. We wouldn’t just throw you in and expect you to know what to do.”

I nodded and then Kate’s face lit up.

“And what intrigued me so much about you is the creative ways you’ve helped increase your company’s sales and client base. As the sales director, you would be in charge of getting creative like that if any of the sales in your region are lagging.”

“It just seems like a complete change of pace from what I’m used to,” I said. “And to be honest, I feel like I haven’t completed my current job. I have so much more I want and need to do.”

Kate said she understood, but continued to sell the position to me. She even brought her laptop out to show me the layout of one of the shops and pictures from a successful in-store event they had in the store that they hosted to boost sales. Then we looked through the holiday catalog which had a ton of things I wanted to buy. Kate was wearing these amazing printed monogram bracelets that she bought from the company and encouraged me to order some for myself online. I just ordered an “R” and a “B.” Oops.

Two hours later, we were wrapping up and I can’t lie, I was interested. She explained that the company as a whole is young and most of the employees, even the executive team, are young – like under 40. And she gave me a brief overview of their bonus structure, which if all my stores did well, would be extremely lucrative. 

Kate set up an official interview with someone from HR over the phone for Monday. I feel completely guilty, but I don’t see any harm in at least interviewing.

After I left #Sbux, I was excited about the new opportunity and getting to see Brady. We hadn’t really gotten to spend any significant time together since getting back from Boston and we had things to discuss.

Unfortunately, when I got there he was working on his computer so I waited around. It did give me a chance to figure out how I was going to inquire about his parents and Anna. I decided to ask about his mom first then hopefully that would segue into the conversation about Anna smoothly.

I was waiting on Brady’s bed when he finished his work. He started taking off his tie and I said, “Does your mom like me?”

Very subtle.

“Yeah, of course. Why?” he answered, nonchalantly.

“It just didn’t seem like it last weekend.”

“Did she say something?” Brady asked.

I waited a moment before answering. “No, but that’s the thing. She didn’t say much to me at all.”

“I think she just had a lot going on. She likes you, don’t worry.”

“How do you know?” I pressed on.

Brady put his shirt in his closet then came back out and said, “Because I know.”

“Did you ever introduce her to your ex?” I asked, proud of the way I’d shifted the conversation.

Brady looked at me like he was trying to read me before saying, “Yes.”

“Oh. She liked her too?”

“I guess so.”

He went in the bathroom, I think in an attempt to avoid the conversation, but I was waiting patiently when he came out.

“So what did your mom say when y’all broke up?” I asked.

“I didn’t tell her until several months post breakup,” Brady replied sitting next to me on the bed.

“Why?”

“I guess I just didn’t want to explain.”

I wanted to ask what there was to explain besides that she moved away, but decided against it. I had more important things to figure out.

“So y’all were pretty serious?”

He shrugged. “I guess so.”

“What do you mean you ‘guess so?’ Were you guys in love?” I asked.

Brady kind of smirked. “Why are you asking me all this?”

“I just want to know. You never talk about her,” I smiled innocently.

“I don’t have any reason to,” Brady said. 

“Did you love her?” I asked again before he could try to change the subject.

“I did.”

As soon as he said this my heart began to race and I don’t know why.

“Really? Did you think you would marry her?” 

I always thought I would marry my college ex. What a naive little idiot I was.

“I don’t know. Not really. I was young,” Brady said.

“Did you guys talk about it?”

“Yeah.”

Wow. So they must have really been serious. There were so many more questions I wanted to ask, but I decided to go for the zinger.

“When’s the last time you saw her?”

Y’all probably won’t believe this, but I hate catching people in lies. It’s just so sad and awkward when they squirm. So I desperately hoped Brady would tell the truth and have an amazing explanation.

“It’s been a while,” Brady said and my heart fell. So much for that.

I couldn’t confront him without admitting that I’d stalked his Facebook until I found a two and a half year old picture of him and Anna so I kind of had to drop it.

We started making out and undressing each other until we were having sex with Brady on top. Brady has one of those headboards with shelves on it where he keeps a few random knick knacks that I’ve never paid any attention to. Apparently he must have been thrusting hard and rocking the bed because I was just laying there enjoying myself when something hard and heavy fell on my face. I’m pretty sure I made the same noise and movements a squirrel makes when it gets hit by a car.

“Oh shit,” I heard Brady say, getting off me.

I sat up and realized that whatever the fuck it was hit me right between the eyes and I was in agonizing pain. I started crying before I could even stop myself. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve cried because of physical pain.

“I’m so sorry,” Brady said even though it really wasn’t his fault.

I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me apologetically. “Am I bleeding?”

“Um, yeah.”

I jumped up and ran to the bathroom to see the damage. I had blood running down the bridge of my nose and it was dripping everywhere. I started crying again.

“Here’s a towel,” Brady said, rushing into the bathroom. Unlike me, he’d put on sweatpants so he wasn’t completely naked. “I’m so sorry, Reese. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

He made me sit down on the toilet so he could help clean my wound and after a few minutes said, “I hope you don’t need stitches.”

“Stitches?!” I cried. My main concern was looking like Frankenstein, walking around with stitches in my face.

“Maybe. It looks deep,” Brady said.

I wasn’t about to get stitches so I held the towel on my face until it stopped bleeding. Brady said since it is in a weird spot right on the edge of my eyebrow where I have a lot of facial movement it will probably keep opening and not heal. And it’s not like a bandaid would exactly fit there either so yeah. Walking around looking like a victim of war now.

Please tell me y’all have almost been on “Sex Sent Me to the ER” too? Share your stories. There has to be something more disgusting and embarrassing than bloody boobs.

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weekend with the republicans – pt. two.

On Saturday morning I woke up at 7:00 – I think I couldn’t sleep because I was in a strange place. I got out of bed, showered and put on my most Republican outfit (head to toe J. Crew). Then I ventured upstairs to 1. get some cell service and 2. see if anyone else was up.

I heard a commotion in the kitchen so I checked there first. Brady’s mom was standing at the stove and his dad was sitting at the island with an iPad.

“Hello,” Brady’s mom said shortly. “Brady’s in the shower. Are you hungry?”

I wanted to say no and run for the hills, but that would be rude. So I said yes and then sat at the island and waited. They pretty much ignored my entire existence after that and it was awkward so I just played on my phone.

When Brady finally got out of the shower, we all had breakfast in the dining room. The parents questioned Brady about his job and his condo and a bunch of other stuff, but didn’t ask me anything or really talk to me at all. Maybe they decided they wouldn’t ask girlfriends/wives anything anymore.

The car to take us to Boston was supposed to arrive at 5:00 so we had to start getting ready pretty early. In the middle of the day, Brady’s mom confronted me and said, “This party is quite conservative and I just wanted to make sure what you plan on wearing is appropriate.”

Obviously the party was going to be conservative and obviously I brought a dress with sleeves plus tights because it was cold. I don’t appreciate her treating me like I’m some bimbo who doesn’t know how to act in society.

So we all got ready and Hunter and Dom met us at the house so we could all go together. Hunter looked nice in a navy fitted suit, trimmed facial hair and slicked back bun, but Dom looked the exact opposite of conservative so obviously Brady’s mom didn’t have a little talk with her beforehand. She wore a strapless teal tea length dress with a (most likely faux) fur stole and tiny gold heels. Her dreadlocks were pulled into a huge bun on top of her head and it was so fabulous that I wondered if I could pull off white girl dreads. She had colorful tattoos covering her back, shoulders and biceps and I swear Brady’s mom vommed a little when she walked in.

We all packed into the limo and somehow I ended up next to Dom. The parents weren’t really talking to either of us so I decided to try to be nice again.

“I love your hair. It’s so pretty,” I said.

She turned and glowered at me. “Are you trying to be funny?”

What is that, insecurity? Pure bitchiness? I genuinely thought her hair was pretty, but never fucking mind. I spent the rest of the limo ride pretending to be a part of the conversation.

When we were almost to the venue, Brady’s mom turned to Dom and said, “Can you take that out?” hastily.

She was clearly talking about the nose hoop and Dom simply said, “No.” Even though she’s a complete bitch, I definitely admire her for standing up to Brady’s mom. I don’t think I would’ve had the nerve to.

The party wasn’t like any party I’ve ever been to. First of all, there was no music. How can they even call it a party when there isn’t any music playing? So everyone was just kind of sitting around drinking drinks from the open bar and eating. Brady’s parents had to go make their rounds since they were the hosts so Brady, Hunter, Dom, and I went to the bar to get drinks.

The four of us stood around talking for a few minutes then Dom grabbed Hunter and said, “Let’s go.” And even though she’s about the size of one of his legs, she literally dragged him away. 

So Brady and I finally had some kind of alone time. I felt like I hadn’t really talked to him the whole trip.

“She’s kind of rude,” I said once they walked away.

“She feels attacked,” Brady explained.

“I don’t care. I’ve tried making her feel comfortable and she’s been a total bitch. She’s way too defensive,” I said.

We mingled for a little while and then Brady’s mom came over and said she wanted to introduce me to people. So she led me around and introduced me to a bunch of her and Brady’s dad’s coworkers and family friends.

She was like, “This is Brady’s girlfriend,” emphasizing that we aren’t married I guess. It was all obviously just for show because besides introducing me she didn’t say a word to me. I guess she just wanted everyone to know that at least one of her sons is somewhat normal. 

After about a half hour of that, she let me go and I set off to find Brady. I couldn’t find him right away, but I did see Hunter and Dom canoodling in a corner so I asked if they’d seen him.

“Right over there,” Hunter pointed to a general direction and I followed.

I found Brady talking to a little brunette who looked vaguely familiar. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and she had on chic black glasses and matte red lipstick. Her skin was very, very fair – but it seemed intentional, like she just wanted to look translucent.

“It was great seeing you,” Brady said and turned to me, putting his arm around my waist. “My mom finally let me have you back?”

I nodded trying to place where I’d seen the brunette girl before and it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. It was Anna! His ex-girlfriend!

“Yeah, she introduced me to like everyone in the room,” I said. “Except her.”

Brady followed my index finger to Anna, who was walking away.

“Who is that?” I asked innocently.

“That is Anna,” Brady said and turned back to me.

“Anna,” I repeated. “How do you know her?”

“We attended a college preparatory summer program together,” Brady explained and kind of laughed. “Lame, I know.”

“Hmm, that sounds fun,” I said. So he just wasn’t going to mention that they dated?

“Not really. Should we get another drink?”

I knew that prying would make me look suspicious so I had to drop the subject. But why wouldn’t he introduce me to Anna or at least be honest about who she is? (I already know what y’all are going to say: “because he was afraid you would cause a scene.” I wouldn’t have.)

While Brady and I were standing near the bar, I met a super tall and skinny slightly British girl named Kate. She is a recruiter for an accessory, gift and lifestyle company and we immediately hit it off and started talking about our lives and jobs. She lives in New York City and travels a ton for work so naturally I was completely jealous.

After about twenty minutes of talking and getting to know each other, Kate said, “You know, I have the perfect position for you and it can be based out of Chicago.”

“Thank you, but I’m not really looking for a new job at the moment,” I said politely. I had no idea what position she had in mind, but I feel like I’m a good place at work right now.

“I know, I know,” Kate assured me. “But sometimes the best opportunities fall into your lap when you least expect it.”

She was right so I told her we could at least exchange information. I didn’t have any business cards with me so I put my number in her phone. She said she will actually be in Chicago for a day this week so she wants to get coffee. Even though I kind of toyed with the idea of getting a new job a few weeks ago, I don’t think I could ever do that to Diana.

Brady’s dad ended up getting hilariously drunk and demanded music so we could all dance. We finally left just after midnight and got back in the limo. We were all pretty tired and didn’t say much the entire ride home. Well, except Brady’s dad. He wouldn’t shut up.

When we got back to the house, I went downstairs and showered/washed my hair then got in bed. I laid there for a little while then I got up to go to Brady’s room. I expected the house to be dark and everyone to be sleeping, but as I was creeping up the stairs I saw that there was a light in the dining room on and I could hear voices. I assumed it was Brady’s parents, but when I heard Brady’s voice I stopped and held my breath so I could hear what he was saying.

He was talking low so I could only make out mumbles then his mom said, very sternly, “I don’t. like. her.”

Brady said something else then I heard the dad say, “Honey…” and then more mumbles. It sounded like someone stood up and started walking so I quickly tiptoed back down the stairs and to my dungeon.

At first I was like, “They were obviously talking about Dom,” but then the more I thought about it, the more I thought they were talking about me. Why would Brady’s mom talk so passionately about Dom to Brady? Dom really isn’t his problem. And then it sounded like Brady’s dad was kind of defending whoever they were talking about when he said, “Honey…” And he hates Dom too so I highly doubt he would defend her.

Our flight left Boston at around noon on Sunday and Brady’s parents insisted on taking us to the airport. They even took us brunch when we got to Boston so maybe they are at least semi human. They didn’t talk to me much, but did ask how I liked the party and if I enjoyed the trip. Actually, I’m kind of obsessed with Brady’s parents’ house and how it’s so big and secluded. If I pumped some more life into it (maybe some TVs, more colorful decor, people who aren’t robots) then I could totally see myself living there.

I’m tempted to ask Brady if his mom hates me. How can I ask that and get an honest answer? Also, I need to confront him about Anna. Or should I not? He told me they were serious, but maybe he just doesn’t think she’s that important anymore?

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