sober tears.

On Monday I had my phone interview and it went really well. So well in fact, that not even an hour after it was over Kate texted me saying, “I heard your interview went well!”

She said the execs in the office want to meet me and asked if I could come to New York City early next week. While I was excited that they wanted to meet me, I can’t just take off work and fly to New York City. I told her that I could go, but it would have to be a weekend. I didn’t hear from her for a few hours so I continued working and kind of forgot about it until Kate called me on my cell phone.

I shut my office door and answered it.

“Hey Reese. I know this is kind of last minute, but we were thinking – we could fly you in on a Friday night red eye, then have the interview Saturday morning and you could be on your way back home by Saturday afternoon,” Kate said.

I didn’t say anything right away. It all seemed kind of rushed. Why were they so thirsty to meet me? I mean, not that I’m complaining. It just seems really fast.

“I know this process is moving fast, but we are trying to get this position filled quickly as the holidays are approaching and this new shop opening,” she explained, as if reading my mind.

“Okay… Let me think about it,” I said. I hadn’t spent any time really, really thinking about if this was even a job I wanted. When Kate explained it to me, it did sound interesting, but I didn’t know if that was enough to make me want to travel all the way to New York City for an interview. I told her I would text her later and let her know.

After work, I went to the fitness class with Kendra and Carly. It was a lot less terrible than last time, but I still regretted going after the first ten minutes of being there. I’m never going back.

On Tuesday, Brady and I got dinner then went back to his place afterwards. I hadn’t told Brady about the potential new job at all aside from the initial conversation Kate and I had at his dad’s party and I wanted to get his take on it. I had tentatively told Kate that I would go to NYC, but I told her I would get back to her after I checked my weekend schedule. I obviously don’t have a weekend schedule except to drink.

I told Brady all about it during dinner and he said, “I don’t see anything wrong with exploring other options. As long as it isn’t affecting your current job. It was responsible of you to schedule your interview for a weekend so you won’t cut into your work.”

I didn’t mention to him that my phone interview was two and a half hours during the workday and I took it from my office. Oops.

He said that until I got an offer, I shouldn’t stress about it. Not that I was stressing or anything. I guess if nothing else, it’s a free trip to New York.

When we got to Brady’s house, he got in the shower while I laid on the bed texting Kate and Preston. Preston was telling me a story about how while he was out with Dillon the other night, Mr. Murphy called him and said he was in the neighborhood and wanted to pick Preston up from his apartment. Preston tried to lie and say he was at work and Murph was like, “Your store closes at 8. Why are you still there?”

So Preston made up this elaborate story about how there was a shoplifter and the police had to come and he had to stay and give a statement, etc. I laughed so hard. Couldn’t he just say there was a meeting or something? 

While I was laying there, I noticed Brady’s phone sitting on the nightstand charging. I tried to talk myself out of touching it, but that didn’t work. I don’t know what I was looking for, but I leaned over and took it off the charger. Before when I looked through his phone, all I had to do was slide to unlock it. But apparently he is actually using his touch ID and a passcode so I couldn’t get in. Okay, like I get it. I shouldn’t have been trying to look through his phone, but still. What’s he hiding?

I replaced the phone and minded my own business until he got out of the shower. I waited until he was almost all the way dressed before asking, “What’s your ex-girlfriend’s name?”

Brady’s entire body paused for two or three seconds then he continued pulling his shirt on.

“Anna,” came his muffled voice from under his shirt. Once he got his shirt on he turned his back to me and started touching stuff on his dresser.

“Anna?” I said, almost excitedly. “The same one I saw you talking to at your dad’s party?”

Brady turned around and faced me. “Yeah.” He sounded defensive. 

“Oookay. So it hasn’t been ‘a while’ since you’ve seen your ex then,” I said, trying really hard not to sound accusatory.

Brady shrugged.

“Why did you lie?”

“I don’t see why it even matters. I hardly ever talk to her or see her so you don’t have anything to worry about,” he said, gruffly.

“I’m not worried. I just think it’s weird that you didn’t introduce me to her and failed to mention that she was your ex and then lied about the last time you’ve seen her,” I said.

“Okay.”

Okay?! Is there anything worse than when you’re having a discussion and/or argument with your boyfriend and he says, “Okay.” Like fuck you.

“That’s all you have to say?” I asked. “No explanation?”

“What do you want me to say, Reese? You were going to flip out on me no matter what!” Brady said, raising his voice.

“If you told me the truth from the beginning, why would I flip out on you? Do you really think I’m that ridiculous?”

Brady didn’t say anything so I took that as a yes.

“I couldn’t care any less about Anna. I have no reason to flip out over you just talking to her,” I said calmly.

“Well, you’re pretty unpredictable sometimes,” Brady muttered. I watched as he opened the door and left the room.

Before I could even stop myself, I just started crying. Ugh. Sober tears. I felt like I really approached him calmly and not accusingly, but obviously that didn’t work. I was so frustrated. For once, I felt like I actually wasn’t in the wrong. I didn’t want Brady to see me crying so I quickly locked myself in the bathroom to clean myself up. After ten minutes, I’d pulled myself together and emerged from the bathroom. Brady was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I think I’m going to go,” I announced.

“I’m sorry,” Brady said.

“Okay…” I said quietly.

He reached out his hand and without even thinking, I took it. He pulled me on the bed next to him.

“I should have introduced you to Anna,” Brady said. “I’ll take full responsibility for that. I guess I just wanted to avoid any awkwardness.”

I nodded.

“You’ve known that she was my ex the whole time, haven’t you?” he asked.

I nodded again, smirking.

“How?”

Oh…shit. 

“Your mom told me,” I blurted out. I was not about to admit to stalking his Facebook.

“Wow, she did?” Brady looked confused.

“Mmhm,” I nodded.

So I’m glad I finally confronted him about Anna and I feel like I got some answers. I’m sure there was a more graceful way to bring the subject up, but I’m anything but graceful. lol. 

Anway, I guess I’m going to New York City for a few hours this weekend. Also, my parents are talking about visiting me for Thanksgiving next week. Maybe they can finally meet Brady! We will see. They claim they’re going to visit all the time and never do. Hmph.

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28 thoughts on “sober tears.

  1. Amber says:

    I agree that it could have been more graceful, but at least you addressed the problem. I think you’ve taken a good first step towards better communication. I hope things continue to improve from here. 🙂

      • Lee says:

        He might ask his mom if she told you, she’ll probably say no, he’ll wonder why you lied to him about that, his mom will think it’s weird that you blamed her for telling you that Anna was his ex….

      • D says:

        i agree with above.
        worst case though, you just have to own up to the Facebook stalking. which we all do anyways if we’re being honest.

      • Sarah S. says:

        You were mad at him for lying and then you lied, doesn’t seem like a good system. I think to encourage honesty in him you should make a big effort to be truthful with him 100% of the time. Being more direct can help too, like maybe the conversation would have gone better if you approached it by saying, “i’m sorry i pretended to not know who anna was, but i actually discovered her on your FB months ago and I was hurt when you didn’t introduce me to her and then lied about who she was.” p.s. love your blog, you seem like you have a great heart and bright future ahead of you!

  2. Sarbear says:

    I’m super proud of you!

    Some people might be able to gracefully handle awkward or painful things, but I haven’t met any yet. You’re doing great, being open and calm. Though I do think it’s just a LITTLE silly to be so embarrassed about the Facebook creeping:)

  3. M says:

    Girl, I am so proud of you! I know you hated crying like that, but being that authentic is HUGE! It’ll only make you guys stronger. Plus, nothing makes a man feel like a big pile of crap more than making a woman cry. Especially when he knows that’s out of character for you, so he got to see how his lying affects you.
    Great job being authentic and real :):)

  4. megg says:

    Yay!!! Good work! And yes, fess up to Facebook. I mean the whole principle here is about building on honesty, right? FB stalking…not that big of a deal. But seriously, I’m so proud you were so brave! Cheers!

  5. Jenna says:

    Finally the whole Anna conversation is over with, since it was going to happen sooner or later. I’m glad Brady apologized rather than letting you walk away… I’m kinda jealous of your weekend trip to New York (even though it’s a short one. But who cares!) since who doesn’t love going there… Oh and good luck with the interview

  6. Megan says:

    Don’t feel guilty about interviewing with another company. why not go and get more informed about this position before you just dismiss it? You can always turn it down if they make you an offer but it doesn’t hurt to hear more and consider it. Also, as a smart person in business you should get gauges from time to time to understand your worth in the market. Interviewing with other companies is perfectly acceptable and actually something you should be doing to make sure you are not being underpaid in your current position! If you do get an offer for more money than your making currently that might be a signal to have a compensation discussion in your current position if you wish to stay. Best of luck!

    • i agree that he wanted to avoid awkwardness. i don’t think it would have been but i get it. everyone is saying i should just fess up to fb stalking… it’s so embarrassing though lol

      • Sarah S. says:

        It’s so normal!! Just keep reminding yourself that you are one of a million girls who look at all their boyfriends pics on fb. no big deal 🙂

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