Since it was freezing cold on Friday night, I decided to stay in and have Kendra and Preston over. I didn’t really want to be out and about with the huge gash on my face anyway. Brady was going to the bar with Chris and some of their friends and you’re not going to believe this, but I was totally okay with him going out without me.
Kendra and Preston arrived at around 7:30 with wine and we ordered Chinese food for dinner. Preston told us that he’s seeing Dillon and Mr. Murphy, but still separately.
“I love what I have with both of them separately and I don’t want to ruin that by trying this three way relationship thing. So I’m not going to – for now,” Preston explained.
Kendra got a little offended saying that Preston was basically cheating on both of them. Preston denied it and said that he and Dillon aren’t “technically” together so it doesn’t really count. Kendra didn’t buy it.
After a text message at 10:45 PM, I didn’t hear from Brady for the rest of the night. I found it odd because we were right in the middle of a conversation. An hour later I texted him and said, “Do you want to come over after you’re done partying without me?”
No response.
I started to get worried/suspicious, but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions and text Chris. I figured he was probably having fun and didn’t want to be that guy who was on the phone with his girlfriend all night. I didn’t want to be that girlfriend either.
I didn’t tell Kendra and Preston what was going on because I didn’t want to hear all their theories. They would probably tell me he was cheating on me and having sex with another girl as we were speaking. That was the last thing I wanted to hear. So I continued drinking and laughing with them until we passed out in my living room.
On Saturday morning when I woke up, Brady still hadn’t texted or called me and not hearing anything at all was concerning. I called him and his phone went straight to voicemail. Weird. So I texted Carly to see if she’d been over to their place at all or heard anything and she said that she hadn’t – she worked Friday night and went home afterwards.
Finally, I decided to text Chris. I asked him to have Brady call me if he talked to him. Chris responded, “Will do!” which made me believe that at least Brady wasn’t dead.
Kendra and Preston were hungry so we decided to meet Carly and Dillon at a BYOB brunch place. We stopped and got champagne and vodka then headed over there. While we were waiting for our table, Brady finally called me.
“Hey,” I answered nonchalantly like it hadn’t been over thirteen hours since I’d heard from him.
“Hey. I’m sorry. I lost my phone at the bar,” Brady said.
“What?” I scoffed, already not into his story.
“I just got it back. Fortunately for me, someone was honest and gave it to a bartender,” Brady explained.
“Were you really that drunk?” I asked, surprised and a little annoyed. Brady never does stupid, irresponsible shit like that so I wasn’t sure how I felt about this.
“I must have been.”
He apologized and asked if I wanted to come over. I told him I was about to get breakfast and invited him to come.
We got our table and I ordered lemon french toast and bacon. By the time Brady and Chris arrived, I was pretty tipsy from the champs. Not quite drunk, but way too drunk for 1:00 PM on a Saturday afternoon.
“Oh, look who’s alive,” I said sarcastically when Brady walked in. I made the entire table shift seats so he could sit next to me.
“Hey, I’m sorry about that. I feel like an idiot,” Brady said when he sat down.
I rolled my eyes. “I think it’s really weird that you ‘lost your phone’ and didn’t bother to call me and let me know. I was worried.”
“Well, I couldn’t call you if I didn’t have my phone,” Brady said, kind of laughing.
“Chris has a phone. I’m sure all of your other friends have phones. It’s not like you don’t know my number – you called me from work that time you left your phone at my apartment,” I said.
Everyone at the table was kind of silently eating/listening to our conversation.
“Reese, can we talk about this later?” Brady asked in a hushed tone.
I glared at him. “Why, so you can have some time to think up a good story?”
“No. There isn’t a story to think up. I lost my phone and didn’t get it back until this morning. I couldn’t call you because I don’t have your number memorized. I have my contacts saved to iCloud which is how I was able to call you from work.”
I didn’t say anything.
“I couldn’t exactly do that while I was at the bar.”
“Convenient,” I said. “I just really don’t believe you.”
Brady looked down at his menu with his jaw tight. He didn’t say anything so I continued eating and drinking and gossiping with Preston and Dillon. Brady and I didn’t talk for the rest of the meal.
After we ate, I made plans to get manicures with Kendra, Preston and Dillon and when we got outside to the cold day, I felt Brady’s eyes on me. I turned and he was staring at me expectantly.
I stopped walking and said, “What?”
“Let me guess, you think you did nothing wrong?” he said.
“What? What did I do?” I asked impatiently.
“Seriously?” Brady asked.
I glared at him. “Seriously.”
“You berated me in front of everyone. That was uncalled for.”
“So you think you did nothing wrong?”
“I left my phone at the bar!” Brady yelled. He yelled. “I apologized. What else can I do? You’re being so unreasonable!”
“Don’t fucking yell at me,” I said.
“Reese, are you coming, doll face?” I heard Preston call from the distance.
“Give me a minute!” I shouted back.
I turned back to Brady and he was still staring down at me intensely. “Go with your friends. It doesn’t matter. We aren’t going to resolve anything anyway.”
“What do you want me to do?” I asked with a frustrated sigh.
“I don’t know, perhaps show me a little respect?”
“I do respect you,” I said, crossing my arms. I did feel a little bit bad that he felt that way, but I wasn’t about to back down.
“Yeah?” Brady said. I sensed he wanted to say more – a lot more – but he just said, “Okay.”
“It’s cold so I’m going to leave,” I said abruptly.
He waited a beat then said, “Okay. Me too.”
We both said goodbye very briefly then I ran to catch up with my friends. Once we got settled into our manicure chairs, Kendra asked me what Brady said. I told her the story and she said, “I do think it was a little inappropriate to confront him like that in front of everyone. It was like you wanted to put on a show.”
Which was a little bit offensive. I denied it and she told me that I needed to apologize and make it up to him because I had embarrassed him. I told her that he embarrassed himself.
I didn’t hear from Brady the rest of the day on Saturday. I ended up staying home and watching both Sex and the City movies and falling asleep at 10:30. I probably deserved that.
I slept in on Sunday, woke up and watched tv for a few hours then took the longest shower ever. I wrapped myself in a towel and blow dried my hair until it was just barely damp. As soon as I turned off my blow dryer I heard my phone ping and a light knock on the door. I froze. I don’t really talk to anyone in my building and I wasn’t expecting anyone so I was a little bit freaked out.
I tiptoed to the kitchen where my phone was laying on the counter. I had two missed calls from Brady and a text message.
“Are you home? I’m at your apartment.”
I let out a sigh of relief as I realized it was probably him who was knocking. Sure enough, when I opened the door, Brady was standing there looking sheepish with a familiar pink box in his hand.
“Hey,” I said casually, opening the door to let him in.
“Hey,” he replied. He walked passed me and sat at one of my stools in front of the counter.
“How did you get up here?” I couldn’t help asking.
“Your doorman let me up. I think we are friends now,” Brady said, taking off his coat and stuff.
I followed him to the counter and peeked in the box even though I knew what was there. Donuts. I fucking love donuts. I threw my arms around my sweet boyfriend and he hugged me back. He was still a little bit cold from being outside and since I was still in just a towel, I felt a shiver race through my body.
“Love you,” I heard myself say. I didn’t even mean to, I don’t think. We hadn’t said that to each other in weeks. Maybe that’s how you know it’s real.
“Love you,” Brady whispered, kissing me.
We both seemed to completely forget about the stupid fight we had on Saturday and spent the rest of the day feeding each other donuts.
I already know, the fight was all my fault. I absolutely should’ve waited until we were alone to confront him about it. Hindsight is 20/20 and etc. But I had every right to be annoyed though, didn’t I? Even if he lost his phone, he should have found a way to let me know. Or is that being “unreasonable?”
hot mess in high heels. 
I think you were being unreasonable. Why do you have so much trouble trusting him? He called you as soon as he got his phone. I wouldn’t have expected him to be freaking out trying to get in touch with you… you’re his girlfriend, not his mom, and he deserves more trust than that. I also think you talking to him like that in front of your friends was mean. I think you’re hilarious and I love your antics, but I feel sorry for brady. It’s like nothing he ever does is right.
okay i see where you’re coming from, but i do expect him to freak out and try to get in touch with me because we talk so much. i want to trust him obviously, but sometimes things just don’t add up. like when i texted chris, why didn’t chris text me right then and tell me that brady lost his phone? i think that’s strange.
You should apologize. It’ll mean a lot that you humbled yourself enough to admit you were wrong to him. You guys gotta really work through these issues if you want this to work in the long run, and thats a two way street!
I just think sometimes you’re really hard on him and he doesn’t understand why. Waiting until you were one on one to say something like, I know you said you lost your phone but considering how much we talk, I think it’s reasonable to expect you to let me know. That would give him an opening to explain.
Also, I once ate a dozen hot donuts at once. In one sitting. And I’d do it again. In fact just talking about it is making my mouth water. #sorrynotsorry
i agree. and i may or may not have eaten a dozen donuts in one sitting before also… it’s actually kind of impressive.
Call me crazy, but I would have been just as pissed, especially given Brady’s recent shadiness, his interactions with Jessica, etc.. I think he owes you a little bit of affirmation before deeming it completely okay to lose your phone a.k.a. fall off the face of the earth for 12+ hours. It was probably a natural reaction for you to blow up in front of everyone because of his confrontation avoidance. However, you know that doesn’t make it right but now you know to react differently in the future. Live and learn.
Glad you guys made up though, so sweet!
thank you. i think you’re right about it being a natural reaction – i could not hold it in at that moment
What recent shadiness? He doesn’t need to tell her every single aspect of his past. This was wayyy out of line. You really don’t deserve him.
I am starting to wonder what’s wrong with him and why he keeps putting up with this crap.
The whole SF trip, lying about Jessica, avoiding talking about his ex when asked a pointed question, not telling her about Kendra’s bf cheating. They’re not horrible things but I believe it’s enough to warrant effort on his end to go a little bit further to make Reese feel like she can trust him.
I mean, the way you handled that wasn’t awesome, but you seem to already realize that. Have you considered that maybe this is your anger/ fear about how he lied to you regarding his ex coming out sideways? I know that if I were trying to keep in my feelings about something like that I would be horrid to a dude. Though, to be fair, I would have a ridiculously hard time not calling him out for lying.
I do not think that you are required to trust someone that lies to you. Even if they only lie to you about certain things. However, if you care about that person and want to be with them, then you are required to be honest with them and work things out so that you can rebuild your trust. It’d be better for both of you in the long run. He doesn’t want to be with someone that doesn’t act as though she trusts/ respects him, and you don’t want to be with someone who is comfortable lying to you. The solution of just being honest and working it out is win/win.
Also, I don’t think the looking through past facebook photos is wrong at all. Weird, sure. But most people do that when they start dating. If he really cares about you viewing public info on his facebook, then he is the weirdo, not you.
i just cannot seem to think of a way to bring up the fact that i dug through his facebook page. i know y’all say its normal, but i’m still kind of embarrassed to admit it to him.
So many of the things Brady does reminds me of things that my boyfriend (now husband) and I used to fight about a lot. The phone, the ex, the parents, the list goes on. In the end it took me being open about how his actions made me feel. I learned not to accuse of him of deliberately doing those things, instead I would say, “When you don’t answer your phone all night, it makes me suspicious. I acknowledge that my trust issues are my own, but you could help me handle them better by responding, even if it’s just a text”. I also told him that when we don’t see each other, I want five minutes of his undivided attention on the phone so that I can still feel close to him even when we aren’t together. It really took spelling things out that like to change his behavior. I think it also helped that the longer we stayed together and the more I trusted him, the less I needed those things.
One last tip is that when I’m mad about something, I sit on it for a little bit until I’m calm and I write to him about it. It allows me to edit and not say things I don’t mean and it lets me get it all out without him jumping in and disrupting my train of thought. He can then take his time to respond. It keeps things from escalating and works for both of us.
okay those are really great tips. i really want to work on being able to talk about things more rationally instead of blowing up like a crazy person.
Yeah the fight was probably your fault but I see where you were coming from… Especially since he just stopped texting you back. That all being said, I loved the end of the post and how he brought you doughnuts…That was super cute of him! 🙂
i know, i love donuts! 🙂
IMO, he should’ve had Chris text you but you also didn’t have to confront him like that. He didn’t need to get as mad as he did, but it might be built up from other times it happened. You did a great job until brunch so he should give you credit!
http://www.cranberryvodka9.blogspot.com
thank you, i agree!
You need to talk to him, it’s time for you to open up. I think you have some issues because of your cheating ex. So you need to tell him, so that he knows that you have a reason to be psycho every now and then (I mean that in the best way possible, I’m psycho sometimes too) and maybe then, he’ll make an effort to communicate better. Something you need to learn is that not every guy cheats. He may be weird and hold back info from you, but I think that’s because he doesn’t like confrontation, I don’t think it’s because he’s sketchy or at least I hope not.
The confrontation at the restaurant was totally uncalled for, you can do better than that and you have. Next time just have a chat in private and try having a little more faith in the guy.
i was doing so well at opening up! 😦
Donuts! That’s so sweet. You and Brady need to have a heart to heart. I know you don’t like talking about your feelings but once in a while you need to allow yourself be vulnerable. He’s your boyfriend and I think you both need to bear it all to each other. Tell him your insecurities and let him do the same. That way you’re both more conscious of them and that will go a long way for your relationship. You don’t want to keep things bottled up and blow up and lose something that could potentially have been good. Open up and be honest with him, at least that way you know you tried.
ughhh, this post just really made me want donuts, and someone to feed them to me.
If that was me I also would’ve been very pissed off however I wouldn’t say anything to him infront of others.
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Ugh I’ll probably get pulverized for saying this but I’ll say it anyways..am I the only one who finds it weird that Brady went from being extremely upset at Reese to bringing her donuts? I mean I know he was upset for being berated in public, which is exactly why he should have stood his ground. I don’t know Brady and I know not everyone is alike, but I would have been furious if someone berated me like that and there’s no way in hell I would be bringing donuts and letting the whole thing blow over..unless maybe I was guilty of something and wanted to get away from the subject altogether. I’m sorry, I also know I would have a hard time understanding why Brady didn’t call sooner, he has your info on icloud after all.
I also found that odd. It seems like you both fix your arguments with sex or kind gestures (like him brining you donuts) but never actually talk through the argument or your feelings. I think you both need to sit down and have a heart to heart. I think there are a lot of underlying feelings that haven’t been expressed on both ends that may just continue to build up until it explodes one day.
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He lost his phone at a bar. He was probably drunk too. If that happened to me, I would go to bed and deal with it in the morning. It sounds like he did just that and called Reece in the morning. I really wouldn’t expect him to go log into icloud in the night when she was probably even asleep. It wasn’t an emergency.
He’s not her husband. They haven’t been dating long. And he got trashed and passed out. Poor guy should get to have a life.
it feels like a long time. 😪 and i am his life.
so what’s your theory?
I don’t know, my first instinct was something is amiss. When you texted Chris, why didn’t he tell you Brady lost his phone? Or why didn’t he have Brady call you off of his phone? Chris does live with Brady right? And you didn’t hear from Brady after 10:45? How drunk could he have even been? And like you said he doesn’t seem that irresponsible. I apologize if I’m being cynical, I’m not even a suspicious person..I just find it curious.
i completely 100% agree with you. maybe i didn’t handle it well, but it is definitely a bit strange.
Annnnnd I really shouldn’t even be saying this because it’s slightly terrible, but whatever..does Brady have an iPhone? If so I would be curious at his location history. It might be worth a look to see if his phone pinged anywhere aside from where he went out at. It’s usually frequent locations, but if he was somewhere other than where he said he was and it is also a frequent location it might be worth a looksy.
wait how do you do that? is it different from the find my friends app or whatever?
No you have to sneak on to his phone haha. It’s in his settings.
Privacy<Location Services <System Services<(scroll down)<Frequent Locations
oh god, last time i went in his phone it did not turn out well
I’m just saying, Brady probably doesn’t even know location history exists on his phone haha. Might have some answers.
DO NOT GO THROUGH HIS PHONE AGAIN. This is NEVER a good idea. Best case scenario, you find nothing and have then you’re the asshole who invaded his privacy. Worst case scenario, you find something and then have to cop to looking through his phone to confront him. If you can’t even admit to harmlessly creeping his Facebook, imagine how embarrassed you’d feel admitting you stooped to this level of creep.
Also I feel like it’s no suprise that you reacted like that. I would think Brady would have seen it coming and would have preferred to avoid a situation like that by getting ahold of you, whether it be a text at the end of the night or a call. Not hearing from someone you care about is definitely concerning.
Umm, just gonna put my two cents in here. I agree with you Kay that its all seems a little shady, but I think that location thing is taking it a step over the stalker line.
Reese I love reading your blog because you react just like me and it allows me to see how badly I behave sometimes. I expect the worst from my boyfriend and question him just like you, and just like Brady he gets so frustrated because he’s a good guy and really doesn’t deserve for me to be questioning him. With that being said its going to take time before you start trusting brady. As your audience we know you can trust because you had a boyfriend who did cheat and you stuck around. Now it’s like you’re so scared of falling in love and letting your guard down and getting burned, because you know that kind of pain is too much.
I’m really going to try and stop Murphy’s Lawing everything and I suggest you do too. Sometimes a good thing is really just that, a good thing.
ah, i hope you are better at confrontation and talking about your feelings than me though. let us know how you’re improving
Please just talk with Brady!! You’ve got to clear the air. You don’t have to accuse, attack or make him defensive, but you do deserve answers to your concerns. Let him know you were burned in the past and so yes, you might read more into things or look into things (like Facebook) more so than others. It’s not you being untrusting, it’s just what you need to do to protect yourself. He has to stop telling half-truths if he wants you to stop acting “psycho”. I know how hard it is to open up…but you can’t hold it in forever.
Does anyone else think Preston is being a dick by talking about his two-timing Mr Murphy in front of Kendra? Dude, she JUST got cheated on. A little sensitivity would be nice.
omg yes i totally agree with you alli. it is such a bad time to brag about that, that’s why i think kendra was so annoyed by it