stids.

I was actually happy that Preston and Carly had to work on Wednesday night because I had some things to discuss with Kendra privately. Even though she’s a judgmental asshole sometimes, I can talk about anything with her. I’ve known her forever and have told her literally everything. And she’s still friends with me so.

“So I have a confession,” I said after we were seated and the waitress delivered our martinis and turkey sliders.

“Do I even want to know?” Kendra rolled her eyes.

“Yes because you’re going to get to judge the shit out of me,” I said.

“Spill.”

“Brady and I have been having unprotected sex.”

“Oh, Reese. That’s such a bad idea.”

“I know,” I said, taking a sip of my drink. “But I’m on birth control at least.”

“Still. Birth control isn’t 100% effective.”

“When’s the last time you and John used a condom?” I asked because I know for a fact that they don’t use them.

Kendra took a dainty bite of her burger. She knew she was caught.

“John and I haven’t used a condom in years,” she said and I gave her a raised eyebrow look.

“But when we stopped using them we both got checked for STDs and get checkups every year. And we’ve been in a committed relationship for over six years. It’s not like either of us is sleeping with other people.”

“You don’t think John has ever cheated on you?” 

“Reese, no. Why would you even ask me that? When would John even have time to cheat on me?”

I shrugged. “Do you think Brady is sleeping with other people?”

“I have no idea. I honestly don’t know him that well…just the things you tell me.”

I sat there thinking. Even after everything that happened with Brady and Jessica, I don’t think he is actually having sex with anyone else. We literally spend every night together. 

“I’m not even saying this in a judgey kind of way. I’m saying this as a friend. You need to protect yourself, Reese.”

I nodded.

After happy hour, I went home to start getting ready for my trip. I told my parents that I’m coming because I wouldn’t put it past them to take a spontaneous trip out of town the weekend I come. My mom is ecstatic and can’t wait to show me all the new shit she’s bought lately.

In the middle of packing, Brady stopped by on his way home from work. He watched me filling my suitcase up and I asked him if he wanted to get a plane ticket and come with me.

“That does sound tempting,” Brady said. “But I actually have plans.”

My eyebrows shot up. Plans? What the fuck kind of plans could he have that didn’t involve me? He obviously was trying to get rid of me for the weekend so he could do something shady.

“What kind of plans?” I asked.

“Chris and I are running a 10k and one of our friends is getting married.”

“Oh.”

So he wanted to get rid of me so he wouldn’t have to take me to the wedding with him. 

“I can cancel everything if you want me to go. I would love to see where you’re from,” Brady added, which was so sweet.

“You don’t have to,” I said. I began throwing the contents of my bikini drawer into my suitcase. You just never know what you might get into in H-Town.

“Do you think we should get tested for STDs?” I blurted out, pronouncing STDs as “stids” like one of my old college professors did. [does stids stand for sexually transmitted infections and diseases? I’m trying to figure this out]

Brady looked taken aback. “Uh, yeah. I mean, we could if you deem it necessary. I was just tested a month or so ago though.”

“And you’re clean?” The way I said that made it sound like he was a former drug addict and Brady kind of laughed.

“Yes. All clean over here.”

He was too much of a gentleman to ask the last time I was tested, which was last year at my annual check up with my gyno. I probably need to schedule my appointment for this year soon. I sat there thinking, Brady just got tested a month ago. Why did he feel like he needed to be tested a month ago? Was it because of a scare or just routine? I hated thinking about him being with someone before me, but clearly there was someone and it was recent. And ick, did Brady have unprotected sex with whoever it was too?

I finished packing and started tidying up to keep myself busy. After our STD talk I just wasn’t in the mood to do anything. Brady asked if I was okay.

“I’m great. Just want to make sure my apartment is clean before I leave,” I said.

Brady nodded and watched me for a few more minutes then he pushed me back on my bed. Without a word, he pulled off my shorts and underwear and started eating me out. I mean, if he insisted.

Normally I just close my eyes and enjoy it while receiving oral, but I just so happened to glance down at Brady. He was watching me and we made eye contact. It was like he was trying to show me that he trusted me – despite wanting the STD tests and stuff.

We didn’t end up having sex at all, probably because of the conversation I started. Since we aren’t using condoms, he probably doesn’t carry them with him now.

Anyways, I’ll be at my parents all weekend. I will probably update how my trip went on my flight home on Sunday or on Monday. Have a good weekend y’all! 

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i can’t afford to lose my mind.

By the time Saturday rolled around, I was so fed up with work that I was actually considering finding a new job. Whitney had completely let her promotion go to her head and was marching around the office giving orders to everyone except me because she knows I don’t play that shit. I finally talked to Diana on Friday morning and she said, “From what I understand Dave gave her the go ahead to work on her projects and we really need everyone’s help to execute them.”

Ugh. Fine. I decided that I would start finding vendors for the winter warehouse sale and even got some responses from two potentials. I emailed Whitney a list of what I came up with and a few minutes later she stopped by my office.

“Actually Reese, I think we have enough vendors, but if you want you can start doing a physical inventory of everything in the warehouse,” she said.

Lol yeah right.

So naturally I was ready to let loose on Saturday. Carly was going over to Brady and Chris’s early to help prepare for the party and I decided that I should probably help too so I didn’t look like some useless girlfriend. I ended up spending forty five minutes on my effortlessly chic topknot so I guess I wasn’t very helpful after all.

In the middle of getting ready, I went out to the kitchen to pour another glass of wine. I was starting things off slow so I wasn’t a complete trainwreck by the time Brady’s friends arrived. I poured a healthy glass of vino then saw a Tupperware container full of cookies sitting on top of the refrigerator. I knew I shouldn’t, but I told myself that I could have just one – only because they were chocolate chip and that’s my favorite. The cookie turned out not to be that great which pissed me off because I wasted calories on it.

I finished getting ready and heard guests starting to arrive. I grabbed my glass of wine and went out to greet people in the living room with Carly. Brady and Chris were in the kitchen pouring drinks and shots while we entertained their friends. Once I finished my second glass of wine, all of my limbs started to get tingly. I thought the wine must be laced with something.

“Carly,” I said, turning toward her. “What’s in this wine? I feel really fucking weird.”

Carly was chatting with two guys, but gave me her full attention. “What?”

I just stared at her head which she cocked to the side and I couldn’t help thinking she looked just like my grandparents’ Shih Tzu. I burst into laughter.

“Reese!” Carly whispered loudly. “You didn’t eat any of those cookies in the kitchen, did you?”

I stood there laughing for what felt like half an hour.

“Reese,” Carly said very calmly. “Those are weed cookies.”

“No wonder they tasted like shit,” I said.

Carly started laughing and I laughed with her. She grabbed my arm and dragged me to the kitchen to find our boyfriends. They were huddled by the sink, drinking.

“Reese had a cookie,” Carly announced.

I gave my best Miss USA smile since they were all staring at me.

“You had a whole cookie?!” Chris exclaimed.

“Hey, don’t judge. I’ll work the calories off later,” I said.

“All I can say is have fun,” Chris said. 

“I should’ve warned you not to eat those,” Brady said to me.

“I am fine,” I assured him.

“They are very potent. You aren’t a smoker and you’re a tiny girl. An entire cookie is going to make you lose your mind,” he explained.

I blinked at him for several minutes and started to get nervous. I can’t afford to lose my mind. If I got any stupider I would probably be fired and have to start peddling on Michigan Ave. Oh my God, what if someone who knows me saw?

“Reese,” Brady said, pulling me out of my nightmare.

“Brady,” I said back.

“Do you want to lay down?” 

“Are you fucking kidding? No! Let’s party!”

So I partied. Since I was already high, Carly ate half a cookie to even the score then we went back to the living room to continue greeting people. Kendra and John showed up, but they immediately went to the dining room where all the sophisticated grown ups were apparently hanging out. I let Kendra know that I think she’s becoming a grandma though.

Eventually I met back up with Brady and demanded he introduce me to his friends because most of the guests I’ve never seen before.

I met a really pretty girl who said she works with Brady at the hospital.

“Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed. “So you must know Jessica? Did you know that she sucked-”

Brady literally put his hand over my mouth to shut me up.

“Reese, don’t,” he said gently.

Whatever.

I also met a guy named Mark who turned out to be the realtor who sold Brady his duplex. Mark was cute and once I found out that he works in real estate, I gushed about how much I wanted to buy a house. We laughed about something for fifteen minutes and exchanged business cards so he can help me find a home. Love him for that. 

Brady had walked away at some point during my conversation with Mark and while I was trying to find him, I ran into Preston and a smoldering dark haired kid who looked like he had just landed from NYC or something. He was so chic.

“Preston!” I screamed and pulled him into a hug that felt like it lasted for twenty minutes. I started laughing.

“Reese, are you high?” Preston asked.

I laughed harder, but managed to ask who his friend was in between my fit of giggles.

“This is Dillon,” Preston answered and gave me a look that told me Dillon is the new guy he’s trying to start the three way relationship with. 

“Dillon, you’re so fucking fabulous. Can I be you?” I asked, but heard the doorbell ring before he could answer.

It turned out to be the pizza delivery man because apparently I ordered nine large pizzas on my company credit card. I don’t even remember doing that, but I proceeded to eat five slices while discussing if all males are colorblind (I think they are) with one of Chris’s coworkers.

I met back up with Brady in the living room and we collapsed on the couch.

“Do you remember when we fucked on this couch on my birthday?” I asked.

“Mmhm,” he replied and looked at someone passed out in the exact spot we had sex. We laughed for thirty minutes.

We started making out right there then Brady said, “I want to fuck you.”

And I said, “I do too.”

He stood up, but I felt like I was glued to the couch.

“I can’t get up,” I whined and toppled over.

Brady grabbed me and dragged me to his room and we immediately started getting undressed. We barely made it to the bed before I slid on his dick and started riding him. We completely forgot about the rager going on outside his door.

Best sex of my life. It felt like two hours of pure bliss. We were both moaning and telling each other how good it felt. I could feel my orgasm building in my body and started riding harder.

“Uhhhh, I love you!” Brady shouted.

“I love you too!” I cried and we both came hard as fuck and fell onto the bed.

We just laid there talking about the different ideas we had for our wedding. I told him that I want a very classic black and white theme and he loved it. We decided that the actual ceremony would be very traditional to please our parents, but do our own thing for the reception. I suggested we cater weed cookies.

When I woke up on Sunday, my mouth felt dry like I was eating baby powder all night. Brady was out cold and I watched tv for a few hours until he woke up. We showered and got dressed and went to brunch with Carly, Chris, Kendra and John. Brady never mentioned the fact that we exchanged the L word (gawd, I can’t even bring myself to say it) and neither did I because obviously it was only because we were under the influence. 

Honestly, the whole night was a blur. I think it was fun though. I kind of feel like I’m still recovering.

And I still don’t know how I’m going to explain nine pizzas on this month’s expense report.

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