have i let myself go?

Since the trip to NYC was so last minute, I waited until the last minute to pack. I only packed my interview outfit, travel outfit and of course my entire makeup collection because I wasn’t sure what look I wanted to go for. Brady drove me to the airport and on the plane, I practiced some interview questions/worked on my Pinterest wedding/drank martinis.

By the time I got to New York and checked into my hotel it was after midnight and I was exhausted. My interview was at 8:00 AM so I quickly showered and then fell sleep right away.

I set my alarm for 6:00 on Saturday morning so I would have an hour to get ready and an hour to get to my interview. When my alarm went off, I seriously considered snoozing until 8:00 then skipping my interview and exploring the city for a few hours. It’s not like I’m dying for a new job anyway. I could tell Kate that I missed my flight and never made it to NYC, but thanks for the opportunity.

But I’m working on being a more responsible adult so I rolled out of bed, got dressed with my eyes closed and swiped on mascara and concealer. I was out the door by 6:50 so I had time to grab breakfast and a latte. Luckily, Kate was nice enough to book my hotel not far from the building where the headquarters are located and I was able to make it there walking, in less than thirty minutes.

The interview itself was pretty painless. I met with the vp of sales and the director of stores – two girls in their early 30s. One was tall and had on a very New York City outfit: black tights, oversized black tunic, steep black booties and eyeliner. The other woman was tiny and Asian and was the exact opposite of the first woman. She looked like an Easter basket with all her bright colors and jewelry. They asked me a bunch of behavior based questions which I’m super good at. As you guys may or may not know, I’m really good at telling stories.

The taller woman was trying really hard to be intimidating and refused to smile or acknowledge my answers. The Asian girl was really nice though. After the interview, they took me on a tour of the office and I got to see the design suite and the little test store they use to plan the floorplan for all the other stores. It was all really cool. Then they started telling me about past sales directors who had since been promoted to cool jobs like the new store opening coordinator who travels opening the new stores and buyer who decides what things each store sells. And if you do get promoted they will fund your move to NYC. This got me excited. I could finally fulfill my dream of living in New York! The taller girl even said she used to be a sales director and just worked her way up. You would think that would make her more humble, but I guess not.

As we were wrapping everything up, the Asian girl said, “It was so nice meeting you, Reese. I think you would be a great fit for our brand.”

I beamed. After visiting the headquarters and talking to them about the possibilities for growth, I could really see myself working for the company. They are so much more in touch with current fashion trends and technology. As much as I try to get my company more on trend, Dave and Diana like to stick to what they know – which is muted colors and bland silhouettes. They don’t even understand why we need an iPhone app.

But then the taller girl decided to piss on my parade. “If we decide to move forward with you, you’ll be contacted by Kate. If not, thanks for your time.”

Bitch.

After the interview I had to run back to the hotel and book it to the airport to make my flight home. I really wished I had time to explore especially because there were so many cute boutiques on the way to my hotel.

I slept the entire flight home and Brady was waiting for me at the airport. It was like back to reality.

“How did it go?” Brady asked on the way home.

“Fine,” I sighed. “One of the interviewers was kind of a bitch so I probably won’t get it.”

He told me not to think negatively and he thinks I probably will get an offer, etc. I didn’t want to tell him how much I was actually hoping for an offer so that way if one didn’t come, I could pretend I didn’t care.

But whatever. All I really wanted to do was eat and have sex with my boyfriend. We stopped and got food then took it to Brady’s to eat. I asked him what he did Friday night and he told me that he and Chris “stayed home.”

After we ate, I forced Brady into his room and had my way with him. Not that it took much. After that I made Brady come with me shopping. He’s never been shopping with me and I think being a good shopping partner is a vital relationship requirement. I need a man who will be involved, but not too involved, who will endorse all of my purchases, who will not try to make sense of my shopping strategy and most importantly, who will carry my shopping bags and/or purse.

By the time we made it to Nordy’s, I had accumulated four bags and Brady suggested we stop and put them in the car. I spun around; giving him a pitying smile. What a newb.

“We can’t drop anything off yet,” I explained, gently. “I might need to match things before I buy them so we have to keep it all with us.”

Brady gave me a weird look, but said okay. I did a quick lap around Nordstrom and picked up a pair of booties, a scarf, a pair of sunglasses, a watch and a dress that I’ll probably return.

After we left Nordstrom, the annual lights parade was happening and I insisted we stay and watch it because sometimes I’m a child. It ended soon after that so I missed the majority of it.

There was a really happy atmosphere in the city on Saturday evening. I don’t know if it was from the parade or all the tourists visiting or the fact that it wasn’t blisteringly cold, but I texted all my friends and insisted we get dressed up and go to the club.

Carly and Kendra came over to pregame and I decided to wear a black dress, So Kates, and red lipstick. We took Uber to the club and Brady and Chris met us there.

When Brady saw me he said, “Wow, you look really beautiful.”

Lol, what a nerd. I feel like he hardly ever compliments me anymore so I took it. Maybe I’ve let myself go since getting in a relationship. Doesn’t that happen to people?

Somehow I got us a complimentary table in VIP by talking to a bartender and the manager told us to order whatever we wanted. Don’t mind if I do. I ordered us a bottle of rosé and bottles of top shelf tequila and vodka.

I told myself that I wasn’t going to get drunk, but I got drunk. Kendra and Carly did too so we ran around and danced. There’s just nothing like drinking on someone else’s tab. While we were down on the main dance floor, we ran into Derrick and another one of our friends from college, Ronnie.

I momentarily forgot about the falling out Derrick and I had and ran over to them and pulled them into hugs.

“Oh my God, Ronnie!” I screamed, using my Sammi Sweetheart accent.

Ronnie used to have house parties almost every single night in college. He was friends with me and also my ex and we would have so many drunk heart to hearts. He was the number one supporter of our relationship.

“Reese! We were just talking about you!” Ronnie said.

“What did you say?” I asked, glaring at Derrick.

“I was thinking about texting you and asking you to come out tonight,” Ronnie said. “But you’re here anyway so it worked out.”

I smiled and invited them to our table. On the way there, Derrick fell into step next to me and said, “How have you been?”

I can’t lie, I was impressed that even after the falling out we had, he was still being nice and cordial.

We got to our table and I introduced everyone to Ronnie. I ordered us another bottle meanwhile hoping that “order whatever you want” meant that it was on the house. I never actually clarified that with the manager.

We all sat down and I leaned over to Ronnie to catch up. He lives in LA now and was just visiting Chicago for the weekend. I’m actually kind of offended that he didn’t text me and let me know beforehand because I thought we were friends. But whatever.

We were having a pleasant conversation and then Ronnie said, “You know, [ex whose name I refuse to say, type, or think] has been asking about you lately. He misses you.”

My blood stopped pumping and I’m sure my entire face went white. “What?”

“We see each other two or three times a week because our offices are a block from each other. Don’t you want to talk to him?” Ronnie continued.

I started to say, “Why would I want to talk to him?” but I only got to “Why-” before I started sobbing.

Brady was sitting on the other side of me and immediately put his arm around me and asked what was wrong. When I didn’t answer, he looked at Ronnie and said, “What did you do to her?”

I heard Derrick say, “She’s fine. She’s drunk. She cries about everything when she’s drunk.”

True.

“What did I do?” Ronnie asked, sounding genuinely confused. Poor guy.

“Nothing. She’s being dramatic,” Derrick said.

“Fuck off,” Brady said and my head jerked toward him, shocked. Brady is usually so laidback and non-confrontational.

“It’s fine,” I sniffled, trying to smooth over the situation. I looked around for Kendra and Carly. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

I stood up and grabbed them then forced them to go the bathroom with me. They both started touching up their makeup and hair while I explained to them what Ronnie said.

“Do you think he really misses me?” I asked.

Kendra spun around, slapping Carly in the face with her weave. “Who gives a fuck if he misses you? That piece of trash deserves to be single and miserable forever.”

My eyes grew wide.

“Seriously, fuck him. I can’t believe you’re even pretending to care. You have an amazing boyfriend who is in love with you.”

I felt more tears forming. Kendra was totally right. Why was I even entertaining the fact that [redacted] claims he misses me? He’s probably just lonely.

I cleaned myself up then skipped back out there. I couldn’t wait to hug my boyfriend and plan our drunk future.

“Hi baaaabe,” I squealed, jumping on Brady’s lap. I planted a kiss on him, leaving my lipstick all over his lips. It was cute.

“You okay?” he asked.

“So I’ve been thinking,” I said excitedly. “I wouldn’t mind moving to Massachusetts. It seems peaceful.”

“Really?”

Brady seemed happy that I am willing to settle down with him in Massachusetts and we were right in the middle of designing our peaceful little cabin in the woods when Ronnie appeared in front of us.

“It was good seeing you, Reese,” he said. “Maybe we can catch up tomorrow or something.” And then he looked at Brady for approval like he’s some sort of controlling boyfriend. Lol!

I didn’t end up meeting Ronnie before he went home, but I did text him apologizing for my tantrum (if that’s what you want to call it) and assured him that it wasn’t his fault. If anyone kind of understands, it’s Ronnie. He was there for the entire fucked up relationship.

On Monday night, Kate called me.

“Hey, love,” she said in her super cute accent. “How did your interview go?”

“I don’t know,” I said, honestly. “I left feeling really indifferent.”

“They loved you,” she revealed.

“Really?” I asked, surprised. “Even the tall girl?”

“They both did. Josie [the Asian girl] raved about you all day and asked where I found you. Honestly, I think you got it.”

Wow. Even though an offer hadn’t been officially made, I was already feeling nauseous at the thought of having to decide if I was going to take it.

“I know you’re probably so sick of interviews, but there’s one more person I want you to meet,” Kate said.

She explained that she wanted me to meet with the guy who would be my immediate boss. He is in charge of the region I would be taking over and another region. Kate said that it wouldn’t really be a formal interview, but just kind of a casual meeting to make sure that we are on the same wavelength since we would be working together. He will be in Chicago on Friday and she said she gave him my number so he is going to call me to set up a time and place.

After I hung up with Kate, I called my mom. I hadn’t told her about the possible new job at all, but now that an offer might be in the cards, I wanted to know what she thought.

She answered the phone and proceeded to tell me that one of her friends showed her pictures of me on Facebook from over the weekend and she wanted to know how I got my hair like it was. So I had to explain to her that I used a curling wand and that she actually has a curling wand at home that she never uses. My mom is so exhausting.

Finally, I explained to her the job situation and asked her what I should do.

“If they offer you more money, take it!” she said without missing a beat.

“What about my current job? And Diana?” I asked.

“Oh babe, Diana doesn’t expect you to be there forever. You’re young. This is the time where you can hop from job to job until you find something you like. I had thirty jobs when I was in college.”

“Mom, I’m not in college. I can’t just job hop. And I like my job. That’s the problem. Should I risk leaving the job I like for a job I only think I would like better?”

“I don’t think you should pass up an opportunity like this,” my mom said.

Then she started complaining about how my dad has been spending a lot of time at work lately and in fact, he wasn’t even home yet. Then he came home and she hung up.

So I guess I’ll just meet with the guy on Friday and see what happens. I figured when they wanted to fly me to New York that I probably already had it, but still. You never know.

My parents haven’t mentioned coming for Thanksgiving any more so I’m not counting on it. Everyone is going to be here in the city for the holiday so we’re going to have a big Friendsgiving feast at Brady and Chris’s. Kendra is going to do most of the cooking obviously, but Carly and I will help.

I hope y’all have a happy Thanksgiving! ❤

dick sucking culprit.

I planned on staying in for the entire weekend so on Friday night I had Kendra over for movies and wine. A chill night was definitely needed and we just reminisced about the debauchery that was college.

On Saturday, I went shopping with Preston and Dillon in the afternoon. I didn’t really need anything, but I told them I would tag along for moral support. I ended up getting a multipurpose bag and a skirt.

That night Carly wanted to go out. I dragged my feet until 10:00 and then decided that fine, I would go out, but only for two hours.

We ended up at a bar not far from my apartment. The whole gang was there – Kendra, Carly, Preston, and me and Carly bought us a round of tequila shots. It was actually kind of nice to be out without the boys like old times. I feel like lately, Brady, Chris and John are omnipresent.

Carly and I ended up getting drunk before we even left the first bar because some things never change. We left the bar and went outside to find the next place to go. Directly across the street was a club/lounge and next door was another bar. I remember Jessica posting something on Facebook about going to the club/lounge for her friend’s birthday and since I was drunk, I thought it would be a good idea to go there. We weren’t really dressed to go to a club, but I had never talked to Jessica without Brady around and I wanted to. What were the chances of us being in the same vicinity at the same time? Like I said, I don’t believe in coincidences. It was meant to be.

I suggested we go across the street without telling any of them why and Kendra scrunched her nose. “No. Let’s just go to the bar.”

I grabbed Carly’s hand and ran into the street (in front of a cab who honked at us) and Kendra and Preston had no choice but follow. The place was huge and kind of empty and there were two floors, three separate bars and couches everywhere. The last time I was there, one of my friends had to be carried out by security because she blacked out. Good times.

We ran to one of the bars and ordered drinks. It was a whiskey bar which was annoying, but I got a whiskey sour. We took our drinks to the dance floor and danced to old ass 90’s music. I was on the lookout for Jessie and couldn’t wait to confront her. The place was really dark so I couldn’t really see anything so I decided to just drink and have fun instead.

Carly and I went to another bar and got some kind of delicious cucumber lime cocktail. We took our drinks to a couch and sat down to check our phones. Brady was keeping me in the loop about everything he was doing and I appreciated that. I made one of the guys sitting on the couch across from us take a picture of me and Carly to send to Brady. After that, we started talking to four kind of cute finance guys for a while. I made sure to talk about my boyfriend a lot since Carly thinks I’m a flirt.

We met back up with Kendra and Preston and decided to make our way to the next place since this place was dead. I had kind of forgotten about Jessica as we made our way outside. I almost squealed with delight when I saw her standing with the two door men and one of her bland friends. She was wearing a really tight dress and all I could think about was the fact that I have naked pictures of her saved in my phone.

“Oh my gosh, hi Jessica!” I said loudly because she hadn’t seen me yet. I also wanted to subtly let my friends know that this was the dick sucking culprit who had a thing for my boyfriend. None of them had met her or knew what she looked like except Kendra because I obviously showed Jessica’s nudes to her.

Jessica looked really taken aback to see me and took a look at my plaid shirt, jeans, and riding boots (told you we weren’t dressed for a club) before breaking into a huge smile.

“Hey Reese! How are you?” She pulled me into a really fake hug which I found offensive. I patted her back lightly in lieu of a hug. “You’re not in San Francisco with Brady?”

How did that bitch know where my boyfriend was?

“Uh, no, I don’t give a fuck about a baseball game. These are my friends, Carly, Kendra and Preston.”

Carly and Kendra shook Jessica’s hand and then Preston said, “How do you two know each other?”

“She works with Brady,” I informed him even though he obviously already knew.

“Oh. Ohhh. Nice to meet you, Jessica,” Preston said, shaking her hand.

“Wow so I can’t believe you didn’t want to go to the World Series,” Jessica said, smiling like a psychopath.

I guess I technically wasn’t invited and maybe she knew that and was throwing shade in my direction. I ignored her comment. I wanted to stay and interrogate her, but I also wanted her to know that I didn’t have time to waste talking to her so I said, “Well, we’re going to go inside to have fun somewhere. Bye!”

“Okay. See you around,” Jessica said in an almost sneaky kind of way.

“She’s definitely not as cute as you. She probably just gives really great head,” Preston said as we crossed the street.

I whacked his arm. “Preston!”

I know it wasn’t really the time since everyone was around, but I think Jessica should apologize to me. She knows that I don’t want her talking to Brady yet she continues being thirsty and throwing herself all over him.

After we hit up two or three more places, we headed back to Kendra’s to crash. As I was getting ready to fall asleep, I got a text from Brady that said, “We are going to another bar. I love you.”

I fell asleep before I could respond, but I was so excited when I read the message on Sunday morning. I’m sure he only said it because he was drunk, but I love that I have him saying he loves me in writing.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t see Brady last night so I didn’t make him dinner or anything, but maybe tonight or tomorrow night. Besides dinner, what other cute, not super sappy things can I do? I’ve cooked for him already and I’m not the Pioneer Woman anyway so I want to do something else.

no more jessicas.

On Monday morning I woke up much earlier than usual, went for a run, got ready for work, and stopped and got donuts for the whole office. I ended up getting four dozen and couldn’t carry them all so I made one of the workers carry it to the office for me (before you call me a lazy brat, just know that I gave him a generous tip).

I immediately started working away until around 1:30 then decided to take a break and grab something to eat. I found my phone at the bottom of my bag where I’d left it that morning and was surprised to see a new text message from Brady. It said, “Do you want to talk?”

I let out a happy sigh. Finally. Of course I wanted to talk. I sat there drafting about a thousand different responses before ultimately deciding on, “Okay.”

I waited to see what Brady would say back for ten minutes then threw my phone in my bag and headed out to lunch.

I continued working all afternoon and didn’t hear from Brady again until around 4:00. He said, “Do you want to meet for dinner?”

I said, “Okay,” again.

He responded back with the name of a place near my apartment and suggested we meet at 7:30. I typed, “Okay,” one last time. He gave no indication about what he wanted to talk about – whether he wanted to work our issues out or end things in person – which concerned me. In an ideal world, we would meet up, he would apologize profusely about not telling me about Jessica, he would beg for my forgiveness and then present me with a $12,000 designer bag.

I stayed at the office until 6:30 then went home and changed into a dress and booties. I didn’t plan well and ended up showing up to the place at 7:45. I pulled out my phone to text Brady that I had finally arrived, but I saw him sitting in a booth near the door. He stood up as I approached with an unreadable look on his face and kissed me lightly on the cheek. We both sat down.

“I already ordered. Do you want a beer or anything?” he asked, really properly.

I shook my head. Brady was acting like we didn’t even know each other which made me get defensive. He had no right to be mad. All I broke was his phone. He broke my heart.

“Okay,” he said.

We sat there for a minute not saying anything. Finally Brady said, “Reese, I’m sorry.”

I raised my eyebrows and nodded like “Go on.”

“I wasn’t completely open with you about Jessica. I should have been upfront and told you exactly what happened. That’s all I can say. I won’t make any excuses.”

I nodded in agreement.

“You have every right to be angry that I didn’t tell you and that you had to find out on your own. Seeing you that upset because of me was hard to watch. I apologize for that.”

“What’s the story with you and her?” I demanded.

Brady looked kind of surprised at my question. “Just everything I told you. We began working together a few months ago and she was quite persistent from the beginning. I’m very busy at work so I couldn’t pay attention to her and I think she took that as a challenge…”

“And she just randomly offered you a blow job and you accepted.”

He started to blush furiously. “I mean, yeah.”

“But y’all didn’t have sex?”

“No. I ended things before they could go that far.”

I glared at him for a few minutes.

“Um,” for the first time ever I saw Brady struggling with what to say. “I don’t want to throw everything away because of this. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.”

I uncrossed my arms as I started to soften.

“Yeah…” I began, unsure of what to say. Have I mentioned how much I hate talking about my feelings? “I don’t either.”

“You don’t what?”

“Want to throw everything away.”

He looked relieved. “I’m glad we are on the same page.”

I smiled and nodded.

“Those two days I gave you to cool off made me realize how much I really do like you.”

I waited a full minute before saying, “Me too,” really quietly.

“So I would like to make this work. If you want to.”

“What is ‘this?'” I asked.

“Us. Our relationship.” Brady looked confused.

“We never defined our relationship. Except the night when Jessica confronted you about it which doesn’t even really count,” I said in an accusatory voice.

Brady was unfazed by what I said. “I mean, I introduced you to my parents. I told them you were my girlfriend…”

My heart jumped. “Oh.”

“Is that not what you want?”

“It is,” I said. I decided that I was going to have to stop playing coy and hiding my feelings. If I wanted this to work with Brady I had to be open too.

“Okay…”

“I’m not good with relationships,” I blurted out.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m just not. I’m stubborn and needy and possessive and I suck at expressing my feelings.”

“You’re expressing your feelings now,” Brady said.

I let out a deep breath. He was right – I was expressing myself and I had yet to spontaneously combust so maybe it was fine. I kept going.

“I may have some mild trust issues from my previous relationships and you can see how this doesn’t help.”

“That’s completely understandable. I’ve done nothing to give you any reason to trust me.”

Brady owning up to what he did seemed to make everything okay. Whenever my ex did something he wasn’t supposed to, he would reverse it and make it seem like it was somehow my fault.

“My ex-boyfriend kind of ruined me. Not that I was perfect from the beginning. But he did some really awful things,” I went on.

“I’m sorry,” Brady said, although I’m not sure what he was apologizing for. He looked at me kind of cautiously before asking, “What did he do?”

I didn’t expect Brady to ask for details so I had to take a moment to gather my thoughts. Normally, I would have blown his question off, but we were being honest and open. Plus I appreciated that he had the balls to ask.

“What didn’t he do?” I answered. “He had sex with other girls, made out with them in front of me at parties, told everyone on campus that I was a psycho.”

Just talking about it was making me grind my teeth. Why did I ever even put up with that shit? I was such a pathetic, needy little girl.

“Yikes,” Brady said. “Worse than I thought.”

I nodded. We were silent for a moment then Brady said, “I guess I’m not really the best with relationships either.”

“How come?” I wanted to know.

“I realized that my parents aren’t like normal parents. They’re very…cold and disconnected. I mean, you met them. They aren’t affectionate at all so I never got that growing up.”

I nodded. “I can see that…” So I’m the only one who thinks his mother is a cold, unwelcoming little woman.

“Yeah. They don’t talk to us about anything personal. We never got a sex talk or anything like that. They only wanted to know what colleges we got into and our GPAs and things of that nature. Even now, they rarely say ‘I love you.’ So I think that has affected the way I am in relationships.”

Wow. His parents rarely tell him they love him? I can’t imagine. My parents send me random text messages throughout the day telling me how much they love me. I felt for him.

After our food came, things went back to normal for the most part. He told me about his weekend and he confirmed that he and John went on some sort of golf date on Saturday. He said that his phone was a complete goner so he ended up having to pay to get a new one. It almost made me feel bad, but not really because it taught him a valuable life lesson.

After Brady paid for dinner, we walked outside. Since the place was so close to my apartment, I’d walked, but Brady asked me to walk to his car with him. It didn’t seem weird at the time, but now that I’m thinking about it, it was kind of an odd request.

We got to his car and he opened the passenger door like he wanted me to get in, but the seat was filled with dozens of red, pink, white and yellow roses. There had to be a hundred there.

“I didn’t want to bring them in the restaurant, but I got you these,” Brady explained.

“Aww,” I cooed looking at him. “That’s so sweet.” It wasn’t the designer bag I was hoping for, but I was grateful for the gesture.

He shrugged sheepishly and I couldn’t help reaching over and hugging his adorable ass. Brady offered to carry the huge bouquet to my apartment and my doorman, Frank, said, “Someone must have been in the doghouse.”

I giggled at him calling Brady out. When we got up to my apartment, Brady put the flowers down and we stood there looking at each other. I invited him to sit down.

“So are we okay?” Brady asked me.

“I think so,” I said, nodding then I narrowed my eyes at him. “But don’t fucking hang out with her anymore.”

“I won’t. I didn’t plan on it.”

“Don’t even talk to her. Don’t go to lunch with her. Delete her number.”

“Of course,” Brady said.

I realized that I hadn’t apologized or fully owned up to my part of the fight yet and I needed to to make things right.

“I’m sorry I broke your phone,” I said and surprisingly saying the word “sorry” didn’t kill me.

“Don’t worry about it,” Brady said.

I swallowed, preparing myself to drop the Derrick bomb. “By the way, you remember my friend, Derrick, right? From my birthday?”

Brady nodded.

“Well, in college we like, kind of hooked up, but it wasn’t really a big deal. It only happened once, but he confessed that he still likes me on my birthday,” I babbled.

Brady’s eyebrows shot up like he was surprised then he nodded slowly as if he was putting some puzzle pieces together and it was all making sense now.

“I guess I could have told you that a while ago,” I said.

“That would’ve been good to know.”

“Just like it would’ve been good to know about Jessie,” I said sweetly.

“Point taken.”

We sat in silence for a minute then Brady said, “So no more Derricks.”

And I said, “And no more Jessicas.”

We stayed up until almost 2:00 AM just talking and not having sex which I think we needed.

So everything is settled, I think.

Give me your thoughts.

maybe i am a bit of a tease.

I’m sort of a part of Brady’s routine now – he works for twelve hours, calls me when he gets off and we have a slumber party. We have it at my house or his, depending on how tired he is, but usually his place. I spent the night on Thursday and Friday and on Saturday morning, Brady woke up and brought me homemade breakfast in bed. It was only waffles and fruit, but still. How fucking sweet?

“Where’s my mimosa?” I couldn’t help asking as I shoveled fruit in my mouth.

“Coming right up,” he said and disappeared. He came back shortly with a glass of bubbly orange juice.

“I was kidding,” I said, but secretly I was really grateful for that mimosa.

When I was almost finished eating, Brady asked what I had planned for the day.

“I’m buying a car!” I said excitedly. I remembered that Kendra was supposed to pick me up at 10:30 so I texted her to tell her to pick me up from Brady’s.

“Really? What kind?” he asked.

“Something inexpensive. My dad thinks I should get a Honda or Nissan because apparently they last forever,” I explained.

“Good for you. Having your own car will definitely give you a sense of freedom.”

“Exactly.”

I got up and showered then Brady and I made out with me in just a towel for a while. Just when things started to get heated, my phone started ringing. It was Kendra – probably letting me know that she was waiting outside.

I reluctantly told Brady that I had to go and started getting ready while he watched me. I knew he was checking me out so I got dressed kind of slowly. Maybe I am a little bit of a tease.

“We’re probably going to go out and drink tonight if you want to come,” Brady said as I was leaving.

“Duh,” I replied.

“I don’t even know why I asked. I’ll see you later.”

We went out to the suburbs to a Nissan dealership and I test drove a brand new Altima and it was really nice. I started talking to the salesman and discovered that none of the Altimas they had in stock had exactly what I wanted (pearl white, charcoal leather interior, sunroof, etc) and they wouldn’t be getting the new model for another month or so.

“You mean to tell me that you can’t, like, call another Nissan dealership and see if they have it?” I argued. It made sense to me.

He explained that doing that would cost me more money and he was trying to help me save. Whatever. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. I told him to call around and find me the car. Kendra, Preston and I walked around while he made some phone calls and ended up right next door at a luxury car dealership.

The salesman approached us and asked what we were looking for and I told him what happened at Nissan. I described to him all the features I wanted and how they didn’t have it in stock.

“You know what, I believe we have what you’re looking for,” he said. He led us down a row of shiny BMWs and stopped in front of a beautiful black sporty looking car. He insisted I get in and drive it.

Long story short, I went home with a brand new BMW 4 Series coupe instead of the Altima. It turned out to be (only) $20,000 more than the Nissan so I paid half down then financed the rest. That way I have some money left over. The monthly payment is reasonable however they made me get insurance before I could take my new car home. Let’s just say my insurance payment could buy me an extra pair of designer shoes each month.

While I was signing my paperwork Kendra said, “Reese, this is not even what you came to buy.”

Preston rolled his eyes. “Yolo, Ken. You’re too fucking responsible sometimes.”

Preston and I got lunch then went to go look at outfit options for my birthday. We didn’t end up finding anything except a pair of Loubs. They were a little out of my price range given how much I’d spent on my car, but it’s my birthday so whatever.

My dad called twice, but I didn’t answer because I knew he would want to know what happened at the dealership. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him I got an almost $50,000 car.

Preston, Kendra and Carly came over to get ready for the night. We pregamed then took the el to the bars. I got a text on the way there from Derrick, asking what I would be doing that night and I let him know where we were headed. He didn’t respond right away so I figured he was probably out having fun with his friends.

Brady and Chris were already out so we met up with them at the bar. They were with their two friends, Dan and Jacob and Jacob’s girlfriend, Stacey.

Drunk Brady swept me up in his arms and kissed me then ordered us all shots. We moved down to the end of the bar and I told him all about my day. We talked drunkly for a while then Kendra dragged me to the bathroom.

Does anyone else always make a ton of friends in the bar bathroom? Kendra and I met some girls and we spent twenty minutes in there talking to them and taking pictures for Instagram.

On our way back to the bar, we passed the door just as Derrick and one of his friends walked in.

“Reese!” he called as if I hadn’t seen him.

“Oh my gosh, hi!” I waved.

He rushed over and pulled me into a hug and then suddenly noticed Kendra standing with me. “Wow, hey Kendra. It’s been a while, huh?”

She nodded and they hugged too. He introduced us to his friend from work. The four of us talked for a few minutes then Derrick suggested we go to the bar to get drinks.

“Oh gosh, yeah! Come on, meet my friends!” I exclaimed.

I led the group through the throng of people toward the bar. Derrick was on my heels trying to keep up with me and I heard him say, “Reese, you look gorgeous,” or something like that.

I thanked him quickly just as we reached the bar where everyone was hanging out.

“There you are,” Brady said to me, putting an arm around my shoulder. Then he kissed me on the cheek.

“This is my friend from college, Derrick,” I said introducing the two.

Derrick looked from Brady to me and back and seemed to be putting the clues together that we might have something going on.

Brady introduced himself then the two of them shook hands. He ordered shots for me, him and Derrick which I thought was very nice and polite. Brady and Derrick started talking and I danced over to Preston.

“Who is this little cutie you found?” he whispered in my ear.

“Derrick! I went to college with him!” I said back.

“Top or bottom?” Preston asked.

I swatted him playfully. “He’s not gay, Preston!”

“Hmm. Too bad.”

Derrick appeared behind me just then and I said hi.

“Do you remember when you guys used to make those SoCo lime cookies?” he asked, referring to something my old roommates and I used to do.

“Yeah,” I said back, smiling. “I forgot how to make those now.”

“We had some good times, right?” Derrick put his hand on the bar behind me and leaning close. Wait. Was it not obvious that Brady and I are a thing? Why was Derrick still trying this?

“My birthday is next weekend. We’re going to dinner and drinking and you’re welcome to come,” I blurted out.

“Is what’s-his-name going to be there?” Derrick asked, jabbing his thumb in the general direction of where Brady and Chris were standing on the other side of the bar.

“Well duh. He’s like my boyfriend,” I said. Surprisingly I didn’t choke on the word “boyfriend” so maybe it is real.

Derrick looked crushed. “Really? You have a boyfriend?”

I nodded. “Is that hard to believe?”

“I mean, I don’t know. You spent your entire college career chasing a guy who didn’t want you.”

Even though I knew it was kind of true, his words stung.

“This isn’t one of those situations again is it?” he contined on.

I blinked back what felt like tears. “Uh, no. I told you that I’m more mature now. I’ve learned from that.”

“Okay. It just sucks seeing you go after these idiot guys when I know you deserve better.”

“Brady is not an idiot,” I said through clenched teeth.

“Maybe he’s not, but you have to admit you’re not the best at picking guys, right? Have you ever had a relationship that worked?”

I didn’t say anything.

“No. Because you’re going after the wrong guys. And not looking at what’s in front of you.”

Suddenly, I was enraged. “For your fucking information, I go after really great guys. Maybe I’m the one who can’t commit. Have you ever thought of that?”

Derrick started to say something, but I cut him off.

“No you haven’t! Because you’re just so concerned with the fact that I’m not interested in you!” I was getting louder.

“Maybe I am. But you haven’t even given me a chance…”

“Yes I have. Did you forget the night we got drunk and you spent the night and you couldn’t get it up?”

Color rose up Derrick’s neck. “I was drunk.”

“Drunk? Or impotent?” I said really loudly. Kendra saw what was unfolding and came to stand next to me.

“Whoa, you’re taking it too far,” Derrick said, putting his hands up defensively.

“You started this!” I practically screamed. Kendra grabbed my arm and tried to pull me away.

“I didn’t start anything, Reese. You just flipped out for no reason.”

“Fuck you!” I said, poking him in between his eyes.

Kendra physically dragged me away and took me to the bathroom. Drunk Reese immediately collapsed on the nasty ass bathroom floor and burst into tears.

“Reese,” Kendra said, exasperated. “Get up.”

“Honestly, Kendra. Derrick and I were so close in college,” I sobbed.

“I know.”

“Did you even hear what he said to me? He’s so fucking mean!”

Kendra didn’t say anything and I continued to sit there crying.

“Reese,” she said finally. “Get the fuck up.”

She pulled me to my feet by my armpits. I sulked to the mirror and checked my makeup to make sure I looked okay even though I was ready to leave. My night was ruined. When we walked out of the bathroom, Brady was standing there waiting.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking concerned.

I couldn’t help throwing my arms around him. “I want to leave!”

“Okay. We can leave,” Brady said.

He and Kendra went back to the bar so he could pay the tab and I waited by the door. I didn’t even say goodbye to my friends because I didn’t want to risk seeing Derrick again. Brady came back and we took a cab home.

Back at the duplex, Brady and I went to his room and I immediately got undressed.

“Sure you’re okay?” Brady asked as he took off his shirt.

I was sitting on the edge of the bed in just my underwear. “I’m great.”

He walked toward me and I got up and pushed him back on the bed. I climbed on him and started kissing him until I could feel that he was getting excited. Then I went down and hastily unbuckled his jeans and pulled them down. I immediately started blowing him and he was obviously pleasantly surprised by how quickly things were moving. Brady was moaning “Oh my God” and gripping the sheets around us hard.

I got up and started to climb on top of him, but he said, “Wait.”

My panties were already off and I had full intention on hopping right on his dick and riding him into the sunset. What could he possibly want me to wait for? “Huh?”

“I don’t…have anything,” he said.

It took me a second to comprehend that “anything” meant condoms. How had we used them all? It wasn’t until later when I was completely sober that I started doing some math. We’d had sex four times total and Trojan makes three count boxes and ten count boxes, but not four. So there were at least six condoms that were unaccounted for. Who had Brady been having sex with?! Furthermore, why wouldn’t he think to get more before I came over?

“It’s okay, I’m on the pill,” I said quickly and started riding him before he could object. I didn’t add that sometimes I forget to take it.

Brady didn’t even bother trying to keep his eyes open and let me keep going until he was about to come then he pulled me off. If I’m already on birth control, what is pulling out going to help? I mean, not to be naive/gross.

And by the way, Derrick hasn’t even reached out to me since last night so that just shows how much he really cares.

drunk brady.

Brady didn’t bring up Wednesday’s little incident so neither did I and we made plans to barhop with Carly, Chris, and Preston on Saturday night. We met at their duplex for some pre-bar beers.

“How are you?” Brady greeted me with a kiss. He handed me a beer and the five of us stood around the kitchen drinking.

I could tell by the way Brady was boisterously telling a story that he’d enjoyed some beers even before we showed up.

“Whatever you do, don’t let me stay here tonight,” I whispered to Preston. Brady was clearly going to be drunk and so would I. That could only end one way.

Preston rolled his eyes. “Are you still pretending you don’t want to fuck his brains out? I’m so sick of this charade.”

I didn’t have a chance to answer as Brady was approaching us.

“You look really pretty,” he said snaking an arm around my waist.

“Doesn’t she? I picked this dress out for her like a year ago. She was going on a date with an NFL player. He actually turned out to be married,” Preston said.

I turned and gave him a discreet, but “Have you lost your damn mind?” look.

He cackled and said, “I’m going to get another beer.”

We took a cab to a street of bars Chris suggested. He bought us a round of shots then Brady bought us a round of shots. Preston and I ran off and got vodka Sprites, people watched, danced and stood at the bar being obnoxious. I started talking to this guy who was kind of douchey but really hot. We were kind of playfully bickering back and forth about whose college was better (he went to Ohio State so I don’t even know why I entertained him). I pretended to be mad and turned my back to him, dismissing him.

He touched my waist and said, “Here, let me buy you a drink.”

I turned to accept his offer when I heard someone say, “I’ll buy her drinks tonight. Thanks though.”

Brady slipped in between me and my douchebag friend and said, “What are you having?”

He didn’t let me out of his sight after that. The three of us hung out for a little while until Mr. Murphy showed up to pick up Preston.

“Ugh. You were supposed to be my babysitter tonight,” I told him.

Preston kissed me on the cheek. “Do it tonight, darling. He wants you so bad.”

Obviously Brady wanted me and I wanted him too, but not when we were both trashed.

Our night turned into a double date and the four of us went to a few more bars then took the obligatory trip to Taco Bell (the quesarito is phenomenal, def. recommend). We went back to their place and hung out in the dining room. Brady was being super affectionate and kept pulling me on his lap and kissing me. It was the complete opposite of the Brady I know, but I loved it.

Eventually Chris said he and Carly were going to go smoke and asked if we wanted to join.

“Reese doesn’t smoke,” Carly said, matter-of-factly.

Out of all the things I’ve tried in my life, weed has not been one of them. I don’t know why, but it’s just not my thing. I only recently found out that I’m probably the only person in the universe who hasn’t at least tried weed. Even straightlaced Kendra smokes from time to time.

“You don’t smoke anything?” Chris clarified as if that’s so unbelievable.

I shook my head. “Nope.”

Carly and Chris headed down to the basement and Brady and I went to his bedroom. We made out and fooled around for a while. I made sure to keep my clothes (mostly) on, but I felt like I was back in high school. I remember making out with boys in my basement and being worried about my parents coming downstairs.

We took a break and sat there next to each other.

“You’re so different when you’re drunk,” I said.

“So are you,” he replied.

“Well, I know that.” I thought about how I was trying to hide Drunk Reese when actually Brady had a drunk alter ego too.

“I like you either way,” he said.

“I like you either way too, but you’re so reserved when you’re not drunk.”

“I’m sorry not everyone can be as gregarious as you all the time.”

I smiled. “But you can be sometimes with just me.”

“I’ll work on it.”

Brady paused for a moment and I sensed he was going to say something so I was silent.

“We’re having this charity gala at work next weekend. It’s like a dinner thing. Do you want to go with me?”

I was already computing an outfit, shoe and makeup budget.

“Is this Drunk Brady or Sober Brady asking?” I couldn’t help teasing.

“Both,” he smiled.

“Okay,” I said.

So I need to schedule an emergency shopping session with Preston to find something for Brady to show me off in.

We started kissing again and ended up in the same position we were on Wednesday – Brady on top of me, shirtless with his belt undone. He reached under my dress and tugged at my underwear. I knew if he got them off there was no going back.

“No,” I said really quietly, hoping he wouldn’t hear me. I desperately wanted him to keep going.

“No?” Brady repeated, looking at me. He had the most concerned look on his face and it was so adorable.

I shook my head reluctantly.

“Okay,” he said and climbed off me. I watched him change into a pair of shorts and go into the attached bathroom. I hoped he wasn’t pissed.

I got up and found a t-shirt in one of his drawers, changed, then got in bed. I was just going to pretend to be sleeping. A moment later Brady climbed into bed and spooned me. I actually did fall asleep after that.

When I woke up, my mouth was dry and I had a migraine. I reached over to pull myself closer to Brady, but his spot was empty and I was alone in the bed. My phone was nowhere to be found and it was light outside but it didn’t look like the sun was out so I had no idea what time it was. I rolled over and fell back asleep for thirty minutes or three hours, I have no idea.

Brady woke me back up.

“I got breakfast,” he said, standing over me.

I immediately rose up hearing that there was food. “Give me.”

He laughed and presented two styrofoam takeout boxes and handed me one. There was a mound of french toast topped with berries and whipped cream in it. It’s like he can read my mind. I popped a berry in my mouth.

“You know me so well,” I said.

We sat in his bed and ate then laid there for a few hours talking. While talking to him I decided that I thought I was ready to have sex with him, but only as long as we were both sober. We aren’t exclusive or anything (yet), but it’s bound to happen right? Plus he’s taking me to that work event so that means something. I need dress ideas!

drama in the office – pt. one.

The weekend was pretty uneventful. I did my laundry, tried to lay out (thanks, Chicago, for having shitty weather), cleaned, worked out, read, and organized my nail polish. On Sunday morning, Kendra and I went to brunch then loitered in Nordy’s for a few hours. I didn’t buy anything except a totally necessary Kate Spade iPad case and another bottle of Prada Candy.

On Monday morning, I ran into a college classmate while I was picking up my lunch at a deli on my way to work. I haven’t seen him since we graduated and I had no idea he even moved to Chicago so we stood there catching up for awhile. We are going to try to grab drinks soon. I don’t get to see my friends from college much these days so it will be nice to be able to hang out with him.

When I got to the office, Whitney and Amanda were huddled in the lobby of our building. It appeared that Whitney was consoling Amanda, whose face was partly covered by her hair but clearly red. Interesting.

BJ was waiting with my morning chai when I got to my office.

“Morning,” I greeted him. “I just saw your girlfriend. She seemed upset.”

BJ followed me into my office. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s fucking insane.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

“First she got us matching t-shirts made which is weird because we aren’t even in a relationship. And then her parents were in town over the weekend and she wanted me to meet them. When I told her no, she started bawling,” he explained.

Classic behavior of a girl who gets attached after intercourse. “Maybe you shouldn’t have had sex with her if you weren’t interested in a relationship. She probably thinks you led her on,” I said.

“That’s the thing – we didn’t have sex. We went on one date and just fooled around and stuff. I don’t know why she went crazy.”

I actually felt bad for the girl. No one wants to feel rejected like that (been there). And you can’t help it if you’re a clingy psychopath. Poor Amanda.

I got a text message from Whitney a few minutes later. “I’ll explain later, but something happened over the weekend and Amanda and BJ need to be kept far away from each other. We will be blogging from the Internet cafe until 2:00.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course Whitney had to pretend to be all in the know about everything.

By lunchtime everyone had heard the story and BJ was enjoying telling it. I sent him and Ryan out of the office to network when Whitney and Amanda were due to arrive back so the confrontation could be avoided. And I was pretty proud of myself for not fueling the fire because I definitely wanted to see that altercation go down.

As I was leaving for the day, I ran into Whitney and we headed to the subway stop together.

“Sorry about earlier. Apparently Amanda and BJ were dating and had a falling out over the weekend,” she explained.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure they were actually ‘dating.’ I think she thought it was more than it was,” I clarified.

“I think she thinks BJ led her on and was a total jerk when she asked where they stood,” Whitney said.

“I think she was coming on too strong and kind of scared BJ away. They’re only here for the summer and he probably wasn’t looking for a relationship,” I said.

“Well BJ should have told her that upfront,” Whitney said curtly.

I realized that we were bickering about two twenty one year old interns and I have much bigger things in life to worry about.

“Maybe. But neither of us really knows what happened so….”

“God, that BJ kid is such a douche,” Whitney went on. “He planned on sleeping with her and then kicking her to the curb. What an asshole.”

“You don’t know that,” I said defensively.

“But I know the type of guy he is. He crosses girls off a list like they’re groceries. He’s disgusting.”

Even though she may have been right, it was not fair for her to make accusations about BJ like that. I’m pretty sure they’ve never even had a conversation.

“I don’t think it’s fair for you to call him disgusting when you don’t even know him. Don’t make hasty generalizations because you’ve dealt with guys like that,” I said.

Whitney gave me a weird look. “Uh okay, Reese. See you tomorrow.”

She put her headphones in so we didn’t have to speak anymore.

hot mess in high heels.

Tag Archives: college