i just love you.

When I got back to Chicago on Sunday night, Brady picked me up from the airport. As gross as this sounds, I was so happy to see him. Like I legitimately missed him. I threw my arms around him and kissed him and we walked hand in hand to his car. Ugh. Like high schoolers.

Brady asked if I wanted to come over and even though I knew I needed to go home to get ready for work on Monday I told him yes. Whatever, YOLO, etc.

When we got there, Carly was already there.

“Oh my gosh, Reesie Puff! You’re home!” She pulled me into a hug. “You missed it, we went out with Preston’s new boyfriend last night. He’s so much fun, you’re going to love him!”

She told me about how he gave her a twerking lesson and they all took molly and danced all night. Sounds like a good time to me. 

Carly said she and Chris were on their way to go smoke and asked if we wanted to join. I looked at Brady and he was looking back at me like he was waiting for my answer. I looked back at Carly who was smiling and nodding excitedly. I figured why the hell not? I’m curious about how all this works anyway.

We went downstairs and they started getting everything ready. I’ve been around smokers enough to recognize a bong when Chris pulled it out. The whole apparatus looked super complicated, but Chris and Brady got it up and running quickly. The Other Woman was playing as they passed the bong down the couch. Even though I watched Chris, Carly and Brady take a hit from the bong, by the time it reached me I realized I had no idea what to do. 

Carly saw me struggling so she shouted, “Light the bowl!” or something like that?

Bowl? What bowl? I looked at Brady and since he’s such a good and caring boyfriend, he walked me through the whole thing – lighting the weed, sucking in the smoke, taking the little pipe thing out, etc. Super complex. Eating a weed laced cookie seemed so much easier. I did fine except when I exhaled all the smoke and had a coughing fit. That shit burned. 

“Are you okay?” Brady asked. 

I nodded and shoved the bong back at him and decided that I would just take that one hit. I didn’t want to ruin my pretty pink lungs anyway.

They passed it down the line and it reached me again.

“I’m okay,” I said, when Brady tried to hand me the bong.

“Come on, Reese. Just one more!” Carly enthused, giggling. 

Fine. I took the bong and did it all on my own. And didn’t almost die from coughing. Such a pro. I fell onto the arm of the couch and closed my eyes for what felt like hours. I felt like I was asleep, but I still heard them talking and laughing and everything. It was a really weird feeling.

Brady nudged me. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

“Wonderful,” I sang, not moving. 

I laid there a while longer, but suddenly felt someone on my lap.

“Hi Reesie Cup!” Carly squealed when I opened my eyes. “I love you!”

She hugged me and gave me a wet kiss. I laughed and hugged her back and then she jumped up and said she was going to order a pizza.

Brady leaned over to me and asked if I wanted to go upstairs.

“Yeah,” I said. I felt Brady get up, but I literally could not move. “I’m stuck.”

He smiled and reached down to hoist me up, but I was like a dead body. I laughed and the next thing I knew, Brady picked me up and started carrying me upstairs like it was our wedding night.

“I just love you,” I sighed. Brady isn’t very big, but he was carrying me around like an infant. I was impressed.

“I love you,” he said back and dropped me on his bed. I immediately stripped off my clothes and got under the comforter.

Brady took off his shirt and got in bed next to me.

“Didn’t you miss me?” I asked.

“Mmhm. I missed you a lot,” he said and started kissing me.

We ended up having sex with him on top, but also having a conversation.

“I thought about you all weekend,” he said.

“Did you like the picture I sent you?” I asked, referring to my telfie (titty selfie).

“Yeah. It was torture.”

I smiled, satisfied.

Right in the middle of our session, Brady’s door flew open.

“Hey, the pizza’s here,” I heard Chris say.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Brady shouted, but didn’t stop thrusting.

“We’ll save you a few slices,” Chris said and shut the door.

I can’t remember falling asleep, but Brady woke me up in the morning to take me home. I don’t know what came over me, but I literally could not get out of bed. 

“Just leave me here,” I whined, pulling the blanket over my head. 

“I can’t. You need to go get ready for work,” Brady said. 

“I don’t want toooooo,” I continued on.

“You have to.”

I won the battle by telling Brady that I would go into the office later. Instead, I called Diana and told her my flight was delayed so I was still in Houston then I slept until noon. I woke up and sat in bed for about ten minutes then got up to find my phone. I found it on Brady’s dresser and I was disappointed when I only had two new texts. One was from Brady asking if I’d made it to work yet. Ugh. Can I live?

I noticed some papers that looked like mail on the dresser and I know you guys are going to judge, but I had to look at them. Like I physically could not stop myself. 

On top was some sort of bank statement and when I saw his savings account balance, my jaw literally dropped. He could probably buy me a condo outright with the money he has saved. How the fuck can he save money like that?

I felt guilty about looking through his stuff so I stopped there. I still can’t believe how much money he has though. Like it almost makes me uncomfortable.

I showered and decided that since I had the day off I would go meet that banker lady to see if I can actually afford to buy a house. I took the bus home to get my car then barged into the bank to get some answers. I had to wait for thirty minutes since she was with a client, but whatever.

Her name is Allison and she had the chicest blonde bob. It almost made me want to cut my hair (but I would never). We talked about my salary and down payment and she calculated how much I could spend to keep my mortgage payment the same as my rent payment (assuming I have good credit which I do, obviously). I would have to go through some extra steps to get pre-approved she said, but I didn’t have time for that.

I spent the rest of the day shopping and avoiding texts from Brady since I was supposed to be busy at work. Oops.

When he got off, I invited myself over and we had leftover pizza and beer. Remember when he said I was low maintenance? I’m starting to believe I am.

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maybe i am a bit of a tease.

I’m sort of a part of Brady’s routine now – he works for twelve hours, calls me when he gets off and we have a slumber party. We have it at my house or his, depending on how tired he is, but usually his place. I spent the night on Thursday and Friday and on Saturday morning, Brady woke up and brought me homemade breakfast in bed. It was only waffles and fruit, but still. How fucking sweet? 

“Where’s my mimosa?” I couldn’t help asking as I shoveled fruit in my mouth.

“Coming right up,” he said and disappeared. He came back shortly with a glass of bubbly orange juice.

“I was kidding,” I said, but secretly I was really grateful for that mimosa.

When I was almost finished eating, Brady asked what I had planned for the day.

“I’m buying a car!” I said excitedly. I remembered that Kendra was supposed to pick me up at 10:30 so I texted her to tell her to pick me up from Brady’s.

“Really? What kind?” he asked.

“Something inexpensive. My dad thinks I should get a Honda or Nissan because apparently they last forever,” I explained.

“Good for you. Having your own car will definitely give you a sense of freedom.”

“Exactly.”

I got up and showered then Brady and I made out with me in just a towel for a while. Just when things started to get heated, my phone started ringing. It was Kendra – probably letting me know that she was waiting outside.

I reluctantly told Brady that I had to go and started getting ready while he watched me. I knew he was checking me out so I got dressed kind of slowly. Maybe I am a little bit of a tease.

“We’re probably going to go out and drink tonight if you want to come,” Brady said as I was leaving.

“Duh,” I replied.

“I don’t even know why I asked. I’ll see you later.”

We went out to the suburbs to a Nissan dealership and I test drove a brand new Altima and it was really nice. I started talking to the salesman and discovered that none of the Altimas they had in stock had exactly what I wanted (pearl white, charcoal leather interior, sunroof, etc) and they wouldn’t be getting the new model for another month or so.

“You mean to tell me that you can’t, like, call another Nissan dealership and see if they have it?” I argued. It made sense to me.

He explained that doing that would cost me more money and he was trying to help me save. Whatever. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. I told him to call around and find me the car. Kendra, Preston and I walked around while he made some phone calls and ended up right next door at a luxury car dealership.

The salesman approached us and asked what we were looking for and I told him what happened at Nissan. I described to him all the features I wanted and how they didn’t have it in stock.

“You know what, I believe we have what you’re looking for,” he said. He led us down a row of shiny BMWs and stopped in front of a beautiful black sporty looking car. He insisted I get in and drive it.

Long story short, I went home with a brand new BMW 4 Series coupe instead of the Altima. It turned out to be (only) $20,000 more than the Nissan so I paid half down then financed the rest. That way I have some money left over. The monthly payment is reasonable however they made me get insurance before I could take my new car home. Let’s just say my insurance payment could buy me an extra pair of designer shoes each month.

While I was signing my paperwork Kendra said, “Reese, this is not even what you came to buy.”

Preston rolled his eyes. “Yolo, Ken. You’re too fucking responsible sometimes.”

Preston and I got lunch then went to go look at outfit options for my birthday. We didn’t end up finding anything except a pair of Loubs. They were a little out of my price range given how much I’d spent on my car, but it’s my birthday so whatever. 

My dad called twice, but I didn’t answer because I knew he would want to know what happened at the dealership. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him I got an almost $50,000 car.

Preston, Kendra and Carly came over to get ready for the night. We pregamed then took the el to the bars. I got a text on the way there from Derrick, asking what I would be doing that night and I let him know where we were headed. He didn’t respond right away so I figured he was probably out having fun with his friends. 

Brady and Chris were already out so we met up with them at the bar. They were with their two friends, Dan and Jacob and Jacob’s girlfriend, Stacey. 

Drunk Brady swept me up in his arms and kissed me then ordered us all shots. We moved down to the end of the bar and I told him all about my day. We talked drunkly for a while then Kendra dragged me to the bathroom.

Does anyone else always make a ton of friends in the bar bathroom? Kendra and I met some girls and we spent twenty minutes in there talking to them and taking pictures for Instagram.

On our way back to the bar, we passed the door just as Derrick and one of his friends walked in.  

“Reese!” he called as if I hadn’t seen him. 

“Oh my gosh, hi!” I waved.

He rushed over and pulled me into a hug and then suddenly noticed Kendra standing with me. “Wow, hey Kendra. It’s been a while, huh?”

She nodded and they hugged too. He introduced us to his friend from work. The four of us talked for a few minutes then Derrick suggested we go to the bar to get drinks.

“Oh gosh, yeah! Come on, meet my friends!” I exclaimed.

I led the group through the throng of people toward the bar. Derrick was on my heels trying to keep up with me and I heard him say, “Reese, you look gorgeous,” or something like that.

I thanked him quickly just as we reached the bar where everyone was hanging out. 

“There you are,” Brady said to me, putting an arm around my shoulder. Then he kissed me on the cheek.

“This is my friend from college, Derrick,” I said introducing the two.

Derrick looked from Brady to me and back and seemed to be putting the clues together that we might have something going on.

Brady introduced himself then the two of them shook hands. He ordered shots for me, him and Derrick which I thought was very nice and polite. Brady and Derrick started talking and I danced over to Preston. 

“Who is this little cutie you found?” he whispered in my ear.

“Derrick! I went to college with him!” I said back.

“Top or bottom?” Preston asked.

I swatted him playfully. “He’s not gay, Preston!”

“Hmm. Too bad.”

Derrick appeared behind me just then and I said hi.

“Do you remember when you guys used to make those SoCo lime cookies?” he asked, referring to something my old roommates and I used to do.

“Yeah,” I said back, smiling. “I forgot how to make those now.”

“We had some good times, right?” Derrick put his hand on the bar behind me and leaning close. Wait. Was it not obvious that Brady and I are a thing? Why was Derrick still trying this?

“My birthday is next weekend. We’re going to dinner and drinking and you’re welcome to come,” I blurted out.

“Is what’s-his-name going to be there?” Derrick asked, jabbing his thumb in the general direction of where Brady and Chris were standing on the other side of the bar. 

“Well duh. He’s like my boyfriend,” I said. Surprisingly I didn’t choke on the word “boyfriend” so maybe it is real.

Derrick looked crushed. “Really? You have a boyfriend?”

I nodded. “Is that hard to believe?”

“I mean, I don’t know. You spent your entire college career chasing a guy who didn’t want you.”

Even though I knew it was kind of true, his words stung.

“This isn’t one of those situations again is it?” he contined on.

I blinked back what felt like tears. “Uh, no. I told you that I’m more mature now. I’ve learned from that.”

“Okay. It just sucks seeing you go after these idiot guys when I know you deserve better.”

“Brady is not an idiot,” I said through clenched teeth.

“Maybe he’s not, but you have to admit you’re not the best at picking guys, right? Have you ever had a relationship that worked?”

I didn’t say anything.

“No. Because you’re going after the wrong guys. And not looking at what’s in front of you.”

Suddenly, I was enraged. “For your fucking information, I go after really great guys. Maybe I’m the one who can’t commit. Have you ever thought of that?”

Derrick started to say something, but I cut him off. 

“No you haven’t! Because you’re just so concerned with the fact that I’m not interested in you!” I was getting louder.

“Maybe I am. But you haven’t even given me a chance…”

“Yes I have. Did you forget the night we got drunk and you spent the night and you couldn’t get it up?” 

Color rose up Derrick’s neck. “I was drunk.”

“Drunk? Or impotent?” I said really loudly. Kendra saw what was unfolding and came to stand next to me.

“Whoa, you’re taking it too far,” Derrick said, putting his hands up defensively.

“You started this!” I practically screamed. Kendra grabbed my arm and tried to pull me away.

“I didn’t start anything, Reese. You just flipped out for no reason.”

“Fuck you!” I said, poking him in between his eyes. 

Kendra physically dragged me away and took me to the bathroom. Drunk Reese immediately collapsed on the nasty ass bathroom floor and burst into tears.

“Reese,” Kendra said, exasperated. “Get up.”

“Honestly, Kendra. Derrick and I were so close in college,” I sobbed.

“I know.”

“Did you even hear what he said to me? He’s so fucking mean!”

Kendra didn’t say anything and I continued to sit there crying.

“Reese,” she said finally. “Get the fuck up.”

She pulled me to my feet by my armpits. I sulked to the mirror and checked my makeup to make sure I looked okay even though I was ready to leave. My night was ruined. When we walked out of the bathroom, Brady was standing there waiting.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking concerned.

I couldn’t help throwing my arms around him. “I want to leave!”

“Okay. We can leave,” Brady said.

He and Kendra went back to the bar so he could pay the tab and I waited by the door. I didn’t even say goodbye to my friends because I didn’t want to risk seeing Derrick again. Brady came back and we took a cab home. 

Back at the duplex, Brady and I went to his room and I immediately got undressed.

“Sure you’re okay?” Brady asked as he took off his shirt.

I was sitting on the edge of the bed in just my underwear. “I’m great.”

He walked toward me and I got up and pushed him back on the bed. I climbed on him and started kissing him until I could feel that he was getting excited. Then I went down and hastily unbuckled his jeans and pulled them down. I immediately started blowing him and he was obviously pleasantly surprised by how quickly things were moving. Brady was moaning “Oh my God” and gripping the sheets around us hard.

I got up and started to climb on top of him, but he said, “Wait.”

My panties were already off and I had full intention on hopping right on his dick and riding him into the sunset. What could he possibly want me to wait for? “Huh?”

“I don’t…have anything,” he said.

It took me a second to comprehend that “anything” meant condoms. How had we used them all? It wasn’t until later when I was completely sober that I started doing some math. We’d had sex four times total and Trojan makes three count boxes and ten count boxes, but not four. So there were at least six condoms that were unaccounted for. Who had Brady been having sex with?! Furthermore, why wouldn’t he think to get more before I came over?

“It’s okay, I’m on the pill,” I said quickly and started riding him before he could object. I didn’t add that sometimes I forget to take it.

Brady didn’t even bother trying to keep his eyes open and let me keep going until he was about to come then he pulled me off. If I’m already on birth control, what is pulling out going to help? I mean, not to be naive/gross.

And by the way, Derrick hasn’t even reached out to me since last night so that just shows how much he really cares.

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