When I got back to Chicago on Sunday night, Brady picked me up from the airport. As gross as this sounds, I was so happy to see him. Like I legitimately missed him. I threw my arms around him and kissed him and we walked hand in hand to his car. Ugh. Like high schoolers.

Brady asked if I wanted to come over and even though I knew I needed to go home to get ready for work on Monday I told him yes. Whatever, YOLO, etc.

When we got there, Carly was already there.

“Oh my gosh, Reesie Puff! You’re home!” She pulled me into a hug. “You missed it, we went out with Preston’s new boyfriend last night. He’s so much fun, you’re going to love him!”

She told me about how he gave her a twerking lesson and they all took molly and danced all night. Sounds like a good time to me. 

Carly said she and Chris were on their way to go smoke and asked if we wanted to join. I looked at Brady and he was looking back at me like he was waiting for my answer. I looked back at Carly who was smiling and nodding excitedly. I figured why the hell not? I’m curious about how all this works anyway.

We went downstairs and they started getting everything ready. I’ve been around smokers enough to recognize a bong when Chris pulled it out. The whole apparatus looked super complicated, but Chris and Brady got it up and running quickly. The Other Woman was playing as they passed the bong down the couch. Even though I watched Chris, Carly and Brady take a hit from the bong, by the time it reached me I realized I had no idea what to do. 

Carly saw me struggling so she shouted, “Light the bowl!” or something like that?

Bowl? What bowl? I looked at Brady and since he’s such a good and caring boyfriend, he walked me through the whole thing – lighting the weed, sucking in the smoke, taking the little pipe thing out, etc. Super complex. Eating a weed laced cookie seemed so much easier. I did fine except when I exhaled all the smoke and had a coughing fit. That shit burned. 

“Are you okay?” Brady asked. 

I nodded and shoved the bong back at him and decided that I would just take that one hit. I didn’t want to ruin my pretty pink lungs anyway.

They passed it down the line and it reached me again.

“I’m okay,” I said, when Brady tried to hand me the bong.

“Come on, Reese. Just one more!” Carly enthused, giggling. 

Fine. I took the bong and did it all on my own. And didn’t almost die from coughing. Such a pro. I fell onto the arm of the couch and closed my eyes for what felt like hours. I felt like I was asleep, but I still heard them talking and laughing and everything. It was a really weird feeling.

Brady nudged me. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

“Wonderful,” I sang, not moving. 

I laid there a while longer, but suddenly felt someone on my lap.

“Hi Reesie Cup!” Carly squealed when I opened my eyes. “I love you!”

She hugged me and gave me a wet kiss. I laughed and hugged her back and then she jumped up and said she was going to order a pizza.

Brady leaned over to me and asked if I wanted to go upstairs.

“Yeah,” I said. I felt Brady get up, but I literally could not move. “I’m stuck.”

He smiled and reached down to hoist me up, but I was like a dead body. I laughed and the next thing I knew, Brady picked me up and started carrying me upstairs like it was our wedding night.

“I just love you,” I sighed. Brady isn’t very big, but he was carrying me around like an infant. I was impressed.

“I love you,” he said back and dropped me on his bed. I immediately stripped off my clothes and got under the comforter.

Brady took off his shirt and got in bed next to me.

“Didn’t you miss me?” I asked.

“Mmhm. I missed you a lot,” he said and started kissing me.

We ended up having sex with him on top, but also having a conversation.

“I thought about you all weekend,” he said.

“Did you like the picture I sent you?” I asked, referring to my telfie (titty selfie).

“Yeah. It was torture.”

I smiled, satisfied.

Right in the middle of our session, Brady’s door flew open.

“Hey, the pizza’s here,” I heard Chris say.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Brady shouted, but didn’t stop thrusting.

“We’ll save you a few slices,” Chris said and shut the door.

I can’t remember falling asleep, but Brady woke me up in the morning to take me home. I don’t know what came over me, but I literally could not get out of bed. 

“Just leave me here,” I whined, pulling the blanket over my head. 

“I can’t. You need to go get ready for work,” Brady said. 

“I don’t want toooooo,” I continued on.

“You have to.”

I won the battle by telling Brady that I would go into the office later. Instead, I called Diana and told her my flight was delayed so I was still in Houston then I slept until noon. I woke up and sat in bed for about ten minutes then got up to find my phone. I found it on Brady’s dresser and I was disappointed when I only had two new texts. One was from Brady asking if I’d made it to work yet. Ugh. Can I live?

I noticed some papers that looked like mail on the dresser and I know you guys are going to judge, but I had to look at them. Like I physically could not stop myself. 

On top was some sort of bank statement and when I saw his savings account balance, my jaw literally dropped. He could probably buy me a condo outright with the money he has saved. How the fuck can he save money like that?

I felt guilty about looking through his stuff so I stopped there. I still can’t believe how much money he has though. Like it almost makes me uncomfortable.

I showered and decided that since I had the day off I would go meet that banker lady to see if I can actually afford to buy a house. I took the bus home to get my car then barged into the bank to get some answers. I had to wait for thirty minutes since she was with a client, but whatever.

Her name is Allison and she had the chicest blonde bob. It almost made me want to cut my hair (but I would never). We talked about my salary and down payment and she calculated how much I could spend to keep my mortgage payment the same as my rent payment (assuming I have good credit which I do, obviously). I would have to go through some extra steps to get pre-approved she said, but I didn’t have time for that.

I spent the rest of the day shopping and avoiding texts from Brady since I was supposed to be busy at work. Oops.

When he got off, I invited myself over and we had leftover pizza and beer. Remember when he said I was low maintenance? I’m starting to believe I am.