typical thursday night.

No one was available for happy hour on Wednesday so I sat at home texting Brady and drinking wine. I realized that my birthday is in two weeks so everyone needs to be fucking available to party with me.

On Thursday we had a little office party to say goodbye to the summer interns. Diana ordered in cupcakes from Sprinkles and called everyone to the break room. She gave some speech about how helpful they were and blah blah blah and announced that we would be hiring one of them full time when he graduates in December.

I grabbed a cupcake and went to the privacy of my office to scarf it down. I checked my phone and saw that I had a new text message from BJ. I almost vommed.

The message said, “Hey, it’s my last weekend in Chicago before I go back to Georgia. Do you want to grab a drink or something?”

I couldn’t believe the nerve of this kid. I started drafting a scathing message back, telling him what an immature prick I think he is. But then I thought of Brady. If Brady knew the situation he would tell me to be mature and take the high road. I’m almost twenty five and I’m a director. What would bitching out BJ help? He was leaving anyway. I decided not to respond at all.

After work, I went to Nordstrom to settle the dress situation and ended up getting a dress, earrings, and two pairs of boots for fall/winter. I texted Brady saying that if he got off at a decent time, did he want to come over? I started watching tv and had almost fallen asleep when he responded, “I can be there in 45 mins.”

I jumped up happily, showered and put on something comfortable. I get way more excited to hang out with Brady than I have with any other guy in a long time. I think it’s because he makes me actually use my brain and doesn’t try to immediately get in my pants (although I kind of wish he would).

Brady and I had wine and talked about our days. He mentioned the charity event on Saturday just briefly which I think is weird because we haven’t talked about it since he asked me. Are we even still going together?

We decided to go out to grab a few drinks at a place not too far from my apartment. Well, a few drinks turned into a few more and some shots. Typical Thursday night. I knew that Brady was getting drunk when he started kissing my neck right in the middle of the bar. It was funny, but it only made me want to screw him that much more. We decided to get out of there and Brady left a really generous $80 tip for the bartender.

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” I asked on our way to the parking lot.

Brady shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you want to drive?”

I didn’t say anything and he tossed me the keys. He obviously doesn’t know my driving history, but he was way drunker than I was. I found his car in the parking garage and said a silent prayer before pulling off. The last thing I need is to wreck Brady’s beautiful car. He would never want me if I did that and couldn’t afford to buy him a new one.

We made it back to my apartment in one piece and after driving Brady’s Audi I decided that I’m ready for a new car. I will start looking for something modest soon.

We got inside and ended up making out on my bed in the complete darkness. All of our clothes were still on and I started to think maybe Brady wasn’t going to try anything with me since I had turned him down twice. He moved down to my neck and said, “I want you,” flat out.

But he made no moves to show it. I was completely open to having sex and let Brady know it. I ran my hands under his shirt and tugged at his belt. There were only so many clues I could give him without physically ripping his clothes off and doing him.

Eventually, we grew tired and fell asleep. We were woken up by Brady’s alarm at some insane hour and it was still dark outside. Surprisingly Brady was able to get out of bed and become alert immediately and get ready to leave.

“I would like you to come over later. You can stay the night and we can run tomorrow morning,” he said, leaning down to me in bed.

I couldn’t help smiling. I don’t want to run, but it’s cute that Brady is trying to plan things.

i can’t believe i’m getting fired.

I don’t know why I thought BJ wasn’t going to tell anyone about our little tryst. Of course he was going to tell the whole office, this is BJ we’re talking about.

I waltzed into the office on Monday morning and ran into Whitney, who was walking away from the executive office area.

“Morning,” I said.

She looked weirdly surprised to see me.

“Hi, Reese,” she said shortly.

“Good weekend?” I asked.

“It was pleasant.” She continued walking without another word which was rude, but I don’t expect any more from Whitney.

I walked past the interns’ desks and the guys kind of snickered and Amanda gave me an unenthusiastic smile and an eye roll. BJ was nowhere to be found, but had obviously already told everyone about our weekend. Whatever.

I spent the morning replying to emails, and re-uping on tea/avoiding curious looks in the break room. BJ must have decided to play hooky for the day, which was not surprising because he’s a pussy and can’t handle the heat.

Right before lunch Diana called me into her office. Call me naive, but I thought she was going to ask how the meeting with the magazine publisher went last week so I gathered the notes and walked down to her office.

“Shut the door,” she told me when I walked in. Her reading glasses were perched on her nose about to slip off and she didn’t even bother looking up at me.

I closed the door and sat in the white Hepplewhite chair in front of her desk. “I hope you had a good weekend. I have the notes from my meeting with the publisher from Thursday if you want to look over them. It went really well.”

Diana out her hand up to silence me. She slowly took her glasses off her face and stared at me coldly. “Reese, you may not realize this, but I know everything that goes on around here. Everything.”

I nodded. I knew exactly where this was going. She had obviously caught wind of what was being talked about in the office.

“When you started here, Reese, I saw something in you. You were ambitious, driven, aggressive, passionate. You reminded me a lot of myself.”

I nodded again.

“And you’ve done some amazing things in your time here – things no one has thought to do. You’ve created valuable relationships and outstanding partnerships.” She turned to her computer. “I just got an email from Martin, requesting we come to New York City on Thursday.”

I couldn’t believe it. I was actually getting fired. How was I going to explain this to my parents? They were going to have to help me with rent until I found another job. I have hardly any money saved. Would I have to move back home?

“You know about our no tolerance non-fraternization policy here, don’t you, Reese?” Diana continued.

I nodded. I couldn’t even look her in the eye.

“Brandon is an intern and he’s your subordinate. What I’ve been hearing is extremely inappropriate and clearly against policy. I can’t believe that you would even put yourself in a situation to let something like this happen.”

I felt my eyes filling up with tears. This was mortifying. I wanted her to just fire me so I could get out of there and figure out what I was going to do with my life. I would probably have to sell my shoe collection and all my expensive designer furniture. I would actually rather die.

“You’re such a smart girl, Reese. I’m extremely disappointed in you. You are an invaluable asset to this organization.”

She paused for an uncomfortably long time. I thought about asking her not to tell my mom what happened and assuring her that my office would be cleaned out in an hour.

“And for that reason, I’m going to overlook this temporary lapse in judgment,” Diana said.

I looked up at her, incredulous. I wasn’t fired? “Seriously?”

“You don’t see Tracey here, do you? I am keeping this between us.”

She was right. Normally Tracey would’ve handled a situation like this.

“But you have to assure me that we won’t ever, ever have to have a conversation like this again.”

“You won’t, I promise,” I said.

“To be sure, we have already transferred Brandon to the distribution center to complete the remainder of his internship. This should prevent any further issues.”

Thank goodness. I don’t want to have to avoid him in the office for the rest of the summer. Although it’s going to suck to get my own lattes now.

I scurried back to my office and took two deep breaths to calm myself. I could not cry at work. I wanted to though. I was so fucking embarrassed. I hid out in my office for the rest of the day. Diana sent me the itinerary for the NYC trip later that afternoon. We would be leaving at 3:00 on Thursday, staying at the W, meeting with Martin’s people then flying home at 1:00 on Friday.

I can’t wait to get out of Chicago.

three minutes in purgatory.

On Saturday night I was so bored I literally thought I would die. Kendra and John were at a play, Preston and his boyfriend were in Puerto Rico for the weekend and Carly was at Chris’s place and not responding. I’ve never felt so single in my life.

Finally, in one last ditch effort before I croaked, I texted BJ to see what he was doing.

He responded, “At this bar with some of the guys. Come out.”

Within thirty minutes, I was in a Finders Keepers dress, Guisseppe Zanottis and a pair of Target earrings because these were college boys I would be hanging out with so I wanted to be modest.

I finished a glass of wine and then taxied to the bar. BJ and about ten of his frat brothers had taken over a corner of the bar and had several pitchers of beer already.

“Well, look who it is. I thought you only existed in the office,” BJ said, greeting me with a hug and a kiss on my temple. Even though he’s almost four years younger than me, I still felt teeny tiny in his arms. He was wearing khaki shorts, a trendy denim button down, and Sperrys with a backward Polo hat on his head.

“Guys, this is who I was telling you about, Reese.”

The guys said hi and gave me appreciative nods. We got to talking and I learned that one of them is from a town thirty minutes away from the town I’m from so he bought me my first drink. The guys were all over me and asking tons of questions. I was obviously loving it and eating all this attention up.

Three hours and several Patron shots (they insisted) later, the frat was gone and only BJ and I remained at the bar. We were completely drunk and had spent most of night dancing, arguing about everything and laughing about nothing.

Once the bar started clearing out, we made our way outside to the muggy night.

“I’m glad you came out tonight. It took you long enough,” BJ said.

“You lucked out because all my friends were busy tonight. I was just bored enough to hang out with you,” I said.

“Oh yeah? You had fun though, didn’t you?”

I smiled. “A little bit.”

“I knew you would be a good dancer,” BJ said.

I started dancing in the middle of the sidewalk and BJ grabbed my waist and pulled me close so that my back was to his chest. I quickly pulled away and pretended I didn’t like it.

I turned back toward him and he was staring down at me with a fiery look in his eyes – not smiling or looking goofy like he normally does. The truth was I wanted BJ. I wanted him badly. And it wasn’t just because I was plastered. He looked so hot in his southern preppy attire that I wanted to lick him head to toe.

There were so many reasons I shouldn’t though – he’s four years younger than me, he’s an intern and if anyone found out I would be fired, he had that “thing” with Amanda, etc. But none of that seemed to matter. No one would find out. How would they? And who cares if he’s younger? People say I have a youthful spirit anyway.

“Do you want to come over?” I asked.

“Yeah,” BJ answered.

We cabbed to my apartment and sat so close to each other I was practically on his lap. We talked about college or something and every time the driver would go over a bump or take a turn too fast, we would almost kiss.

I let us into my apartment, immediately kicked off my shoes and padded to my room to change into something more comfortable (cropped tank, lace shorts). BJ was sitting on my couch waiting.

“Damn, you look hot,” he said in a low voice.

I spun and he caught my wrist. He pulled me on his lap and I let him, no longer playing hard to get. We instantly started making out. It was urgent and a little bit sloppy, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to have sex with him. I pulled his head back by his hair and kissed his throat. BJ let out a moan and I continued licking and sucking his neck.

We started kind of dry humping and I couldn’t even pretend not to want it anymore.

“Take me to my room,” I said.

He picked me up with my legs still wrapped around his waist and carried me to my room. He dropped me on the bed and pulled off his shirt, seemingly simultaneously. I never knew it, but BJ has a huge tattoo of his last name going down the side of his torso which looked cool but was super pointless. Such a bro.

We ripped each other’s clothes off – my top then his shorts then my shorts. BJ was standing over my naked body in just boxer briefs. Even though he’s on the skinnier side, his body is really lean and ripped and he had a nice sized bulge in the front of his boxer briefs.

BJ leaned down and frenchkissed my hipbone then got back up and rolled on a condom. That’s when I realized that this was actually happening. It was too late to go back now (and I didn’t want to) so this had to be worthwhile.

He climbed on top of me and kind of fumbled around for a moment trying to put his penis in. Wtf. Just when I was about to blame #whiskeydick and call the whole thing off, he got it in. He started going in and out really fast like a jackhammer and it was unpleasant. I was actually bored. I knew that when I noticed that my ceiling fan needed to be dusted, something had to change.

I made BJ flip over so I was on top. He gave me a lazy version of his normal smirk and said, “You’re so sexy, Reese.”

I started riding him like California Chrome and all he could do was grab my hips and hang on. All of that sexual tension we built up came down to this so I was going to make the most of it.

“Oh my God,” BJ moaned.

I looked down and his brow was furrowed, his eyes were shut and he was biting his lip so hard that it was turning white. Somehow he still looked hot and I kept going, harder.

Before I could pull out any of my signature moves (the spin), BJ let out a low groan that sounded almost like a whimper.

Um, okay.

He sighed and I felt his whole body relax. So he was finished. I climbed off him and sat there, baffled and mortified. I couldn’t believe that was it. I’d risked my job for three minutes in purgatory.

BJ wasn’t saying anything and it was pissing me off so I called his name. When he didn’t answer, I said it again and elbowed his ribs.

He let out a deep breath and rolled away from me. He was sleeping.

i deserve an assistant.

Preston won one of those happy hours where the more people who come the cheaper the drinks will be on Wednesday evening. By 6:30, I was already drunk. Carly, Kendra and John were there along with some of Preston’s coworkers and clients. We hadn’t gotten enough people to get the drinks quite as cheap as I wanted so I needed more people to show up.

I was brainstorming people to invite when I got the bright idea of inviting Brady to happy hour! I quickly typed an iMessage letting him know where happy hour was and how long we planned on being there. I reread it a few times to make sure I spelled everything correctly and used enough puncuation (six exclamation points seemed adequate) and hit send. I waited a moment for his response and when it didn’t come, I tucked my phone in my purse and partied the rest of the night away.

He actually never texted me back.

On Thursday, I texted BJ on my way to work letting him know that I was hungover and needed something to cure it. He was waiting outside my office with a bacon and egg breakfast bagel and a parfait when I got there. I don’t know how he knew, but it was exactly what I needed.

“Jeez, you even look hungover,” he said, following me into my office.

“Fuck you,” I said. I snatched my breakfast from him and set up the feast on my desk.

“Kidding. You look hot as usual.”

I was too busy chewing a bite of the delicious, but carbatious sandwich to respond.

“What exciting things do you have planned for me today?” BJ asked, in a naughty sounding tone.

I finished chewing. “I have 3,500 new emails. I need you to immediately delete any that don’t concern me.”

“Ah, I get access to your email? I hope I uncover something good. Like your nudes.”

“That won’t happen,” I assured him.

“Damn. Maybe one day though.”

He smirked at me and I rolled my eyes. I got up so he could sit at my computer and I sat in a side chair checking Instagram and Facebook. While he worked on my emails it occurred to me that I hadn’t heard from Martin or Rob. I knew they were as busy as me, but I definitely thought I would’ve heard something (besides an invite for drinks) by now.

Once he finished with the emails, we walked down to the breakroom to raid the vending machine. It just so happens that Amanda and an ad teamer named Aron were already there, drinking mugs of coffee. I almost squealed with excitement. I love awkward situations when they don’t involve me.

“Maybe we should come back later,” BJ said, in a low voice.

“Nope. I really want a Gatorade,” I said. I didn’t, but I did want to see both of them squirm.

“Hey Amanda. Hey Aron,” I said.

They both said hey and Aron started asking me questions about the campaign they’re working on. I chatted with him for a moment while BJ leaned against the counter engrossed in his phone. Then I crossed the room to the vending machine and Amanda let out a shrill laugh.

“Aron! You’re so funny!” she exclaimed way too loudly.

He said something else and she screamed again. She put a hand on his chest and continued laughing obnoxiously.

God. Could she be any more desperate?

I got my Gatorade and walked back over to them. “What are you guys laughing about?”

Amanda looked taken aback, but quickly recovered and smiled. “Aron said something funny.”

“Oh.”

Amanda poured the rest of her coffee out and practically ran out of there which made me feel kind of bad because obviously I scared her away. But not really.

Later that afternoon I had a meeting with the publisher of a local magazine who wanted to do a feature on our company. I decided to bring BJ along to take notes. It was nice to have a personal assistant and I’m going to ask Diana about hiring one for me full time. I think I deserve it.

Afterward, we stopped and got froyo which probably isn’t allowed, but whatever. I won’t tell if he won’t. BJ made fun of me for only getting almonds and blueberries on mine, but putting chocolate and gummy bears on it would just be irresponsible.

We ate our froyo on the way back to the office and BJ said, “Try this.”

I scoffed. “No. You have cereal and candy and shit in there. I’m an adult.”

He smirked. “It’s so good.”

BJ stopped on the sidewalk and backed me into a brick building. He scooped up a spoonful of his melting and dripping froyo and shoved it into my mouth. It annoyed me that it tasted so good. I wiped my chin where some of the froyo had dripped and took a few seconds to chew the Lucky Charms and gummy bears.

“It was okay,” I said.

BJ licked his lips and stared down at me for way too long without saying anything. He glanced down at my lips and lingered there for a moment then looked back up. I thought he was going to kiss me so I said, “Let’s go!” and walked a foot ahead of him all the way back to the office.

i can’t believe i’m thinking like this.

BJ must have felt bad about the way things ended on Wednesday because on Monday morning he brought my usual chai, a vanilla bean frappuncino and a strawberry cheese danish from Dunkin Donuts. He has no idea that I’m boycotting Dunkin Donuts (personal reasons) and couldn’t even eat the danish but it’s the thought that counts.

I spent the majority of the day following up on emails and making phone calls and then in the afternoon, the advertising team presented a campaign to me in the conference room. I was really impressed that BJ led the presentation like a seasoned professional and even threw out some buzzwords. Maybe he was learning something from his internship after all. Once they finished, I made them write down the few pointers I had then they started to file out.

“I missed you this weekend,” BJ said, joining me at the end of the conference room table.

I scoffed. “Shut up. No you didn’t.”

“Yes I did. Four whole days without my favorite boss lady. It was miserable,” he said.

I rolled my eyes and gathered my things.

BJ stepped closer and put a hand on the table in front of me so I was kind of pinned in.

“Brandon, if you do not step away from me right now…” I warned.

“If I don’t step away from you, what? What are you going to do, Reese?” he challenged.

“I’m going to kick your ass. Now move.” I tried to push past him, but the kid is a lot stronger than he looks. I rammed into his arm and he didn’t even budge.

BJ began laughing which only pissed me off further. I tried to duck under his arm but he lowered it. An epic battle of me trying to get free and BJ refusing to let me ensued. It was completely childish and unnecessary. Then he put his other hand on the other side of me so that I was completely pinned in with my back against the table. I could feel his hips on my tummy.

“Whatcha gonna do now, Reese?” he taunted. He was so close that I could smell the dark chocolate he’d eaten during lunch on his breath.

I was super irritated but oddly turned on. His body pressed against mine felt way better than it should’ve.

“BJ,” I said as evenly as I could. “I have a lot to do. Will you please let me go?”

“What do I get out of it?” he asked.

“You won’t get reported to HR,” I smiled.

He bit his lip as if thinking about it then finally released me. Before I could get far, he ruffled my hair all over my head. I flicked him off before walking out the door.

Whitney was standing outside the conference room when I walked out. She gave me a weird look, but I just smiled and walked past her.

When I got back to my office I started thinking about the pros and cons of hooking up with BJ. I could definitely lose my job if I did, but that was only if anyone found out. BJ and I could enjoy a night of fun and keep it between the two of us. But the best part of flirting with BJ is knowing that both of us want to fuck each other (him more than me obviously) but not being able to act on it. If we did, it would ruin that whole relationship completely.

I can’t even believe I’m thinking like this.

drama in the office – pt. two.

Unfortunately things only got worse for the two former lovers. Whitney must have given Amanda some sort of magical pep talk because on Tuesday she marched right up to BJ’s cubical and plopped a pile of his things onto his desk – including that God awful spray painted t-shirt she had made (I couldn’t tell what it said but I’m sure it was cheesy).

BJ was seemingly surprised and mumbled a thank you. An hour later, Amanda sent Whitney back over to BJ’s cubicle because she changed her mind and actually wanted to keep the custom t-shirt since she paid for it.

Apparently, BJ had already thrown the little creation in the garbage at this point and refused to retrieve it. This resulted in an hour long argument between BJ and Amanda (with Whitney relaying the messages) because the two couldn’t stand to be within 10 feet of each other. It was super entertaining to watch however I couldn’t help being irritated at Whitney for feeding into and enabling this childish drama. I know she was loving feeling like people actually needed her, but our Twitter feed was suffering because of it.

On Wednesday morning, Amanda showed up with a notarized letter from her attorney father stating that BJ needed to reimburse her for the $30 t-shirt or face legal action. What the fuck? Who even does that?

BJ basically told her to piss off and ignored the letter. This only infuriated Amanda even more and she spent the rest of the morning huffing and puffing and glaring at everyone.

I sent BJ to Potbelly’s to get me a salad for lunch and he hung out in my office while I ate.

“She’s driving me crazy. I feel like she’s just doing this to have an excuse to talk to me,” he said.

“Oh, get over yourself,” I teased.

“Seriously. I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in hanging out with her anymore and now she’s freaking out over a t-shirt.”

I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t even make fun of Amanda because I was apparently crazy too, but in a different way.

I changed the subject and we talked about the work we had left to do for the rest of the day. Then Tracey from HR popped her head in my door.

“Brandon? Can we speak for a moment?” she asked.

He said yes and followed her out. Tracey deals with all employee relations, hiring and firing and I hoped BJ wasn’t going to get fired over this nonsense.

About 15 minutes later he sent me a text: “We’re having a mediation. They’re making us talk our issues out.” I didn’t see BJ again before I left for the day, but I texted him to let me know how things worked out.

Needless to say, I was excited to go to happy hour with Kendra and Preston. With all this drama, I was starting to feel like I was back in high school and I needed to feel like a grown up again.

Kendra brought John along which was kind of annoying but whatever. We ordered drinks and caught up. Preston told us about a new guy he’s seeing – an older, super rich entrepreneur. I think it’ll be good for Preston to date someone older and more established to kind of tame him. Plus maybe having a wealthy boyfriend will allow him to quit one of his jobs.

I told them that Eric and I officially called it quits, but didn’t get into details.

“I can’t believe you broke up with him before getting us free Cubs tickets,” John said.

That was the last thing on my mind when I was dating Eric, but I appreciated John’s enthusiasm.

When I got home, I took a shower and got in bed. I received a text from BJ saying that he didn’t know if he was going to make it into the office the next day because he wasn’t feeling well.

I called bluff and told him he was just trying to avoid the whole Amanda ordeal. He quickly sent back a picture of himself – shirtless and laying in bed. He was making a sad, frowny face, but I was busy having inappropriate thoughts about him being naked in bed.

When I didn’t respond, he said, “Look how miserable I look. You can’t possbily expect me to come in tomorrow.”

“You look fine,” I said back.

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

He was probably right about that, but I told him I would see him bright and early in the morning. And I couldn’t help going back and looking at his picture way more than I care to admit.

drama in the office – pt. one.

The weekend was pretty uneventful. I did my laundry, tried to lay out (thanks, Chicago, for having shitty weather), cleaned, worked out, read, and organized my nail polish. On Sunday morning, Kendra and I went to brunch then loitered in Nordy’s for a few hours. I didn’t buy anything except a totally necessary Kate Spade iPad case and another bottle of Prada Candy.

On Monday morning, I ran into a college classmate while I was picking up my lunch at a deli on my way to work. I haven’t seen him since we graduated and I had no idea he even moved to Chicago so we stood there catching up for awhile. We are going to try to grab drinks soon. I don’t get to see my friends from college much these days so it will be nice to be able to hang out with him.

When I got to the office, Whitney and Amanda were huddled in the lobby of our building. It appeared that Whitney was consoling Amanda, whose face was partly covered by her hair but clearly red. Interesting.

BJ was waiting with my morning chai when I got to my office.

“Morning,” I greeted him. “I just saw your girlfriend. She seemed upset.”

BJ followed me into my office. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s fucking insane.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

“First she got us matching t-shirts made which is weird because we aren’t even in a relationship. And then her parents were in town over the weekend and she wanted me to meet them. When I told her no, she started bawling,” he explained.

Classic behavior of a girl who gets attached after intercourse. “Maybe you shouldn’t have had sex with her if you weren’t interested in a relationship. She probably thinks you led her on,” I said.

“That’s the thing – we didn’t have sex. We went on one date and just fooled around and stuff. I don’t know why she went crazy.”

I actually felt bad for the girl. No one wants to feel rejected like that (been there). And you can’t help it if you’re a clingy psychopath. Poor Amanda.

I got a text message from Whitney a few minutes later. “I’ll explain later, but something happened over the weekend and Amanda and BJ need to be kept far away from each other. We will be blogging from the Internet cafe until 2:00.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course Whitney had to pretend to be all in the know about everything.

By lunchtime everyone had heard the story and BJ was enjoying telling it. I sent him and Ryan out of the office to network when Whitney and Amanda were due to arrive back so the confrontation could be avoided. And I was pretty proud of myself for not fueling the fire because I definitely wanted to see that altercation go down.

As I was leaving for the day, I ran into Whitney and we headed to the subway stop together.

“Sorry about earlier. Apparently Amanda and BJ were dating and had a falling out over the weekend,” she explained.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure they were actually ‘dating.’ I think she thought it was more than it was,” I clarified.

“I think she thinks BJ led her on and was a total jerk when she asked where they stood,” Whitney said.

“I think she was coming on too strong and kind of scared BJ away. They’re only here for the summer and he probably wasn’t looking for a relationship,” I said.

“Well BJ should have told her that upfront,” Whitney said curtly.

I realized that we were bickering about two twenty one year old interns and I have much bigger things in life to worry about.

“Maybe. But neither of us really knows what happened so….”

“God, that BJ kid is such a douche,” Whitney went on. “He planned on sleeping with her and then kicking her to the curb. What an asshole.”

“You don’t know that,” I said defensively.

“But I know the type of guy he is. He crosses girls off a list like they’re groceries. He’s disgusting.”

Even though she may have been right, it was not fair for her to make accusations about BJ like that. I’m pretty sure they’ve never even had a conversation.

“I don’t think it’s fair for you to call him disgusting when you don’t even know him. Don’t make hasty generalizations because you’ve dealt with guys like that,” I said.

Whitney gave me a weird look. “Uh okay, Reese. See you tomorrow.”

She put her headphones in so we didn’t have to speak anymore.

did i just get dumped?

I was supposed to facilitate in presenting the final specs from the Batik Bohemian collection along with the product development team for the Friday staff meeting so I spent the morning preparing. BJ brought my chai and sat in my desk chair watching me rehearse/undressing me with his eyes.

When I finished my second run through, BJ began a slow golf clap.

“I think you’ve got this under control, boss lady,” he said.

“Thanks, Blow Job!” I replied, giving a little bow.

BJ smirked. “You know, I can see the outline of your thong through your skirt.”

I turned back to my presentation board so he wouldn’t see me blushing. Aren’t thongs supposed to prevent panty lines? And I was wearing the most modest J. Crew pencil skirt – of course BJ had to turn it into something sexual. And I hate to admit it, but the comment gave me a feeling in my tummy that was not appropriate for work.

“Do you need any help from me?” he called when I didn’t respond.

“No,” I said, but he got up and starting walking toward me anyway.

“You sure?” he asked, smirking. BJ had on a light blue button down with the sleeves pushed up ever so casually and those fucking amazing slacks. I wanted to rip his clothes off.

“Actually,” I said, walking around him. “Why don’t you sort this stack of papers?

“Of course.” He took the papers from me and pulled up one of the upholstered side chairs to my desk so we were sitting across from each other.

I picked up my phone and saw that I had a text message from Eric. I was really surprised because I never expected to hear from him again.

It said, “Hey Reese. I’ve been doing some thinking and I think it would be best if we didn’t see each other anymore. You’re a ton of fun, but we are in different places in our lives. I have no hard feelings toward you and I wish you the best.”

What the fuck. Did I just get dumped? I totally knew we weren’t going to work out and I was okay with it, but the text confirming it just made me feel rejected. I read it over several times. Different places in our lives? What does that even mean?

“Everything okay?” BJ asked.

“I’m fine,” I said, looking up.

He smiled. “Well, yeah. I can see that.”

It felt nice to have some guy attention so I let him sit in my office for an hour telling me about his life in Georgia. He told me about his older brother who is getting married later this summer. BJ has had a secret crush on the fiancée ever since he saw her in a bikini when he was 16. He also told me about his parents, particularly his father who let BJ start drinking beer when he was 12. This sounded like bad parenting but he assured me that it was just a southern thing.

At 11:30, Amanda poked her head in my office.

“Hey Beej, ready for lunch?” she asked.

BJ gave me a wide eyed, frustrated look before saying, “Yeah, give me a minute.”

Amanda gave me a satisfied, if not, smug look. “Hey Reese.”

Lol okay. Whitney obviously rubbed off on her. I smiled as I took in my “competition.” Amanda is a Lily Pulitzer-and-pearl wearing sorority girl from New England. On paper, I’m sure she and BJ are perfect, but I can tell he’s too wild for her. She is adorable – with huge blue doe eyes, perfectly parted blonde hair and the most innocent round face – in a juvenile sort of way.

“Hi there,” I said.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you downstairs,” she said and was gone.

“She’s so clingy,” he rolled his eyes.

I smiled and waved him off. “Have fun!”

The meeting went swimmingly and afterward Dave took Diana, Tracey from HR, and me out for drinks. I just love drinking on someone else’s tab.

That evening, Preston came over and we ordered Chinese. We gossiped, watched tv, and vegged out on my couch. So successful Friday night, I’d say.

betrayal.

As expected, I was hungover and miserable all day on Monday and hid out in my office for the majority of the day. I sent BJ out to get me a cheeseburger and a salad. He brought back the goods and stood in my office watching me eat. He totally called me out on being hungover and pretended to be upset that I didn’t invite him out for our shenanigans. As if I would ever.

I decided to clock out early and on my way out, I had to walk past the interns’ cubicles. I was going to stop by and say goodbye to BJ and remind him that I wanted a green tea frappucino in the morning instead of the usual chai, but the social media intern, Amanda, was hovering over his desk. I could tell by the way she was twirling her blonde hair and her foot was cocked that BJ was sweet talking her right out of her panties. And it irritated me. And then I was annoyed at myself for being irritated.

The next morning, BJ and Amanda showed up to work together with matching Starbucks cups. I sensed something going on here and couldn’t wait to question him about it. He came into my office and handed me the drink.

“Morning, boss lady,” he said.

“I wanted a frappucino,” I said, taking a sip from my hot chai.

BJ’s curved into a grin. “Shit. I forgot.”

I sipped my latte and wiggled my eyebrows. “So what’s with you and Amanda?”

He shrugged with his hands in his pockets. “What? I’m just having fun.”

By the way he said this I could tell that “having fun” meant they are totally hooking up. And it really pissed me of because that meant I am not the only one he’s been flirting relentlessly with. So I made him run back to Starbucks and get me the frappuncino I wanted and then spend the rest of the day stapling things and doing bitch work around the office.

After work I went home and poured a huge glass of vino and sat in front of the tv. I was almost asleep when I got a picture message from Preston. It was a screenshot of an Instagram post – from that girl Brooke’s Instagram. The picture was of her and Eric from Sunday night at the club and her caption was: “Had so much fun with my favorite boy last night :)”

In the picture, she was sitting on Eric’s lap with her arms wrapped around his neck. She was a lot prettier than I remembered but still resembled an alien.

Immediately, I typed her name into Instagram and found her wide open profile. Buried in the numerous pictures of her and her friends out partying and her bulldog, there were several of her and Eric, looking all photogenic and lovey. They all had captions like “out with my boy” and “so glad I got to see my babe today.” The photos dated back to five weeks ago. Wait. Wait. Was Brooke Eric’s girlfriend? He told me they were friends!

I calmly finished my glass of wine while trying to decide what to do. Eric had given me no indication that he had a girlfriend or was even dating anyone else. Well aside from the whole incident on Sunday night. We hadn’t agreed to be exclusive nor had a relationship talk at all, but I still felt a little bit betrayed.

Finally, I decided to call Eric. I would politely and calmly probe to find out what I could about his potential girlfriend situation.

“Hey, Reese,” he said when he picked up.

“I thought you and Brooke were just friends. Why is she posting all these pictures on Instagram?” I blurted out.

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t even have Instagram,” he replied.

“‘Out with my boy.’ ‘So glad I got to see my babe today.'” I quoted from her pictures. “So you lied.”

Eric sighed. “I didn’t know she was posting that stuff. We aren’t dating.”

“Oh sure. I don’t even believe you.”

“Reese, I don’t want a girlfriend right now so I’m not with either of you. I’m sorry if I didn’t make that clear.”

“Fine,” was all I said. It kind of hurt to hear that Eric had no intention of actually being in a relationship with me. Not that I wanted to. I don’t think.

“Sorry. I don’t want to stop hanging out with you, but I’m not in any position to get into a relationship right now. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said and told him that I had to go. After we hung up, I sat there thinking about what a long day of betrayal I’d had. First, BJ and Amanda and now this. I poured another cup of wine and nursed my wounds.

the intern.

On Monday morning we had a staff meeting to introduce our new bright eyed summer interns. I sat in the back of the conference room Instagramming my shoes (#shoesoftheday #rockstuds) because this had nothing to do with me. Afterwards, I met with Diana and Dave to discuss some details about the warehouse sale. They kept telling me how excited they were about the batik line and how they couldn’t wait to see what else I had in store.

Usually I work through lunch but I decided to go to the break room to make some tea and find a snack. I was standing in front of the vending machine trying to decide if I wanted an iced honey bun or a plain honey bun (honestly, I needed neither) when I heard someone say, “Just take forever why don’t you?”

I turned and standing behind me was one of the new ad team interns with a playful smirk on his face. He was tall and lean with dark hair that needed to be cut, sleepy eyes and an incredible jaw. He was wearing a pair of amazing fitting flat front slacks with a polo tucked in. Something about his look told me that he liked to drink cheap beer, smoke a ton of pot, and get crazy on the weekends. He was actually really effing hot.

“I’m still deciding. You can go ahead of me if you’d like,” I said.

He stepped in front of me and as if reading my mind, got an iced honey bun. He locked eyes with me as he took a bite.

“Mmmm. So good,” he said.

“That’s actually what I was going to get,” I told him.

He held the honey bun out to me. “Want a bite?”

I shook my head. “I’ll get my own.”

He was blocking the vending machine so we both just kind of stood there looking at each other.

“What’s your name?” he asked after taking another bite.

“Reese. What’s yours?” I replied.

“Brandon. But people call me BJ.”

“BJ,” I repeated.

“Yeah. Like blow job.”

Normally an inappropriate comment like this would warrant a scoff and an eye roll, but the way he said it – so suggestively – made my face get hot. And it really pissed me off.

“Do you know that I’m going to be your boss this summer, Brandon?” I finally revealed.

He gave me a skeptical look. “How old are you?”

“Old enough.”

Blow Job smirked at me again. “Anything I can get for you, boss lady? Coffee?”

“Non-fat, no foam, Stevia – extra hot chai tea latte topped with a sprinkle of nutmeg. I don’t drink coffee,” I countered.

“Oh yeah?” he said, smirking.

“You have six minutes,” I added.

BJ took a bite of his honey bun without taking his eyes off me.

“You’re out of your mind, Reese. This ain’t The Devil Wears Prada,” he said.

He was so cocky and douchey. Who gave him the right to talk to me – his boss – like this? I was kind of obsessed.

“Yes it is. You’re going to be my slave this summer, Brandon,” I said.

He finished his honey bun while staring me down. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He stared at me carnivorously for a few moments before heading toward the door.

“I hope you’re not a psycho boss, Reese,” BJ said before walking out.

He has no idea.

After work I stopped by Kendra’s to say hi and to distract myself so I didn’t go home and text Eric. I’d decided that was going to give him a little bit of space. I knew he needed a break from me/my drunk counterpart so I was going to wait for him to contact me.

When I got to Kendra’s, John was there moving some of his things in. The place was in such disarray that it gave me anxiety. I told Kendra I had a lot of work to do a peaced out of there.

On Tuesday, I got to the office and immediately started replying to emails as usual. I usually spend an hour or so catching up on what I missed/raping Pinterest then I get started on my day. I heard a knock on the door and found BJ standing there with a white Starbucks cup in his hand.

“Morning, boss lady,” he said, walking to my desk. He sat the cup down and I quickly closed out of my Pinterest browser. “I brought your drink.”

I looked up at him, unsure of what to say. He had that playful smirk on his face. It told me that he was imagining what I looked with my clothes off and it made me blush. I never fucking blush.

“This is about twenty hours late,” I finally said.

“Sorry about that. It won’t happen again,” BJ said.

He stayed in my office for a while chatting. I found out that he goes to school at UGA and is in a fraternity, which is obvious. He is studying marketing and advertising – hence the internship and is living with a bunch of his friends in the city this summer. One thing about BJ is that he definitely knows how to talk to women. He says everything so sexually – like he was asking my favorite sex positions and if I wanted to try them out with him. I couldn’t decide if I loved him or hated him.

After he left, I took a sip of the steaming hot chai goodness. I even tasted the hint of nutmeg. Somehow, this goofy kid had gotten my order exactly right. I was impressed.

I spent the day prepping for the warehouse sale on Saturday, keeping the ad team in check and avoiding hungry looks from BJ. After work, Eric called and invited me to sleep over. I can’t lie, I was relieved to finally hear from him. I packed my bag and changed into lululemon leggings and a v-neck. When we got to his condo, we made pasta for dinner and put in a movie. We didn’t mention Friday night at all.

Eventually, we retreated to his bed. We laid next to each other, on our backs, not saying anything or touching. It was weird and I wondered if Eric was still mad. But he’d invited me over and kissed me hello so that didn’t seen likely. I peeked over at him and he had one hand behind his head and he appeared to be sleeping but I knew he wasn’t.

I laid there looking out the window for a moment wondering if I should just hop on him. He must’ve wanted to hook up too, right? And then I felt his hand creep across my tummy and in between my legs. He started rubbing me softly through my panties and it was exactly the right spot so I immediately started moaning. His hand quickened and became more urgent. I glanced over and he was still just laying there with his arm behind his head and his eyes closed. If anyone were to walk in, they wouldn’t be able to tell what was happening and that I was about to come hard as fuck. My legs started trembling and Eric – sensing how close I was – moved in quick, rough motions until I squealed with pleasure. And then he rolled over and went to sleep. It was kind of odd but absolutely satisfying.

*also: I will posting the Q&A Friday morning so comment, email, or tweet your last minute questions!

hot mess in high heels.

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