Tag Archives: drunk

i’ll kill him.

I finally decided to just bite the bullet and get my car fixed so I dropped it off on Monday. They gave me a loaner car while my car is being worked on which probably isn’t the best idea on their part. Not complaining though.

After I dropped my car off I invited myself to Brady’s. I was so excited to see him and to see how his trip was. Brady opened the door (when is he just going to give me a key?) and pulled me into a hug.

“I missed you,” I said, hugging him. 

“Me too,” he replied. He kissed me hard and then led me into the house. We went to the kitchen and got water then he sat down in front of his laptop in the dining room. Ugh.

“So how was your trip?” I asked, trying to hide my annoyance. We hadn’t seen each other in like three days, but he was completely engrossed in his stupid computer.

“I had a very good time. I haven’t visited Hunter in a while so I enjoyed seeing where he lives and meeting all his friends,” Brady said. 

“Who did you meet?” My eyes lit up. I thought of the girl Hunter said he would be marrying, Dumb or whoever.

Brady looked up from the laptop at me. “I can’t remember. A bunch of guys.”

Oh. He totally thought I was being a jealous, psycho girlfriend and I wasn’t (this time.) I made him elaborate on the trip and he told me about the game and how they bar hopped and smoked hookah and etc. Typical shit. 

I excitedly let him know that I “ran into” Jessica on Saturday night and he said, “I heard.”

Are you fucking kidding me? It’s one thing for her to brag about them talking, but now he was too? Cool. I decided to let this slide and dragged him to his room. We got undressed and I proceeded to fuck his brains out then fall asleep.

On Tuesday I was pretty busy working on projects at work, but I took a break midday to eat. Whitney and a gay guy from the ad team named Danny were standing at the sink talking, but stopped when I walked in.

“Hey Reese! I love your shoes! You always have the best shoes,” Whitney said, all syrupy sweet.

I smiled and said, “Thanks!”

Lately, Whitney and I have been getting along fine. She kind of does her own thing and I do mine and when we talk it’s pure business. She’s definitely more into the digital side of branding so it actually works out.

Whitney walked out and I said, “I don’t know why she’s being so nice lately.”

Danny shrugged and said, matter-of-factly, “Probably because she feels guilty about talking so much shit about you.”

My eyes narrowed. I knew I shouldn’t care or ask what she said, but I had to know. “What did she say?”

“A lot of stuff. She wants your job. She said you’re lazy and you’re going to get fired because you never do anything.”

Excuse me?

“And the only reason you didn’t get fired for supposedly hooking up with that BJ kid is because your mom is friends with Diana.”

That actually really pissed me off. First of all, I am not lazy. Of course I have my lazy days (we all do), but I’ve done so much for my company. I think I deserve a lazy day every once in a while. Secondly, I thought the whole BJ thing was behind us. Why is she bringing that up? I’ve moved on. Whatever.

I rolled my eyes and told Danny that I didn’t care even though I wanted to go immediately confront Whitney. I knew that wasn’t the smartest idea so I avoided her for the rest of the day.

After work, I went home and showered to get ready to go to a bar and grill with Brady and Chris because apparently there was some sort of game on. I told Brady about Whitney and her comments and of course, he took her side and said that being in a position of power, I shouldn’t ever let anyone see me being lazy. He doesn’t understand. Even when I’m being lazy, I’m doing work like replying to emails or getting on Pinterest for inspiration.

Whatever. I was sick of this conversation so I grabbed Brady’s hand under the table and pulled it into my lap. He looked at me kind of confused at first and then smiled when I slid his hand under my dress. He started rubbing my pussy and I bit my lip trying not to make any noise.

Our server came back and Brady quickly removed his hand and ordered us another beer. Ugh. He’s so not daring sometimes. We barely made it through another inning before we wanted to go back to his place to have sex.

On Wednesday I had some meetings outside of the office so luckily I didn’t really have to be around Whitney. I stayed in the office until 6:30 and I was supposed to meet Kendra for happy hour at 7:00. As I was packing up and getting ready to leave, she called me. 

“I’m leaving right now. It’s only 6:30 you psycho,” I answered, thinking she was calling to see where I was. 

“Can you come over here right now?” she asked, her voice shaky.

“Are you okay? Where are you?” I asked, concerned.

“I’m at home. Just please come over here,” she sniffled. She was clearly upset and crying.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” I promised and hung up. Naturally, I thought the worst like she had poked her eyeball out with her mascara or accidentally burned all her hair off with her straightener so I sped over. 

Kendra answered the door still wearing her work suit, but her face was wet and streaky with tears. 

“Ken, what’s wrong?” I asked automatically pulling her into a hug. I’ve only ever seen Kendra cry a handful of times and most recently it was because her grandfather died.

She hugged me back and then led me to the small living room without a word. Kendra sank into the couch and started bawling.

“Kendra, what’s wrong?” I asked, my concern growing. This was not like her at all.

She waited a few moments before sobbing, “John cheated on me in San Francisco.”

Wait, what?

“What? How do you know?” I gasped.

“I found a receipt. He bought condoms at a CVS on Saturday night. I confronted him and he admitted to having a one night stand. He fucked some random girl!”

Oh my God.

“Apparently they met at a bar and she invited him back to her place. He said he was really drunk, but that is hardly an excuse.”

You guys, John is the nerdiest guy ever. I find it very hard to believe that he could even flirt with a random girl enough for her to invite him home. And how dare John cheat on gorgeous, successful lawyer Kendra? She has always been too good for him. She made him everything he is today. Kendra literally gave him a chance (when she shouldn’t have) when he was obsessed and in love with her. After she let him move into her beautiful apartment and he ruined it with his bike and smelly belongings, he had the nerve to fucking cheat on her?

“I’ll kill him,” I said and I meant it.

Kendra started crying again and I hugged her hard. As much as we butt heads, Kendra is my best friend in the entire world and I will do anything to protect her.

“I can’t believe this. I didn’t think John was capable of doing anything like this,” I thought out loud. 

“I didn’t either. I trusted him so much, Reese. I never thought I would have to worry about him cheating.”

John cheating on Kendra just shows that you can’t trust a guy just because he’s fucking lame. Like do all guys cheat?

“So where is he now?”

“He had to go back to work, but I told him he can’t come back here. I’m going to throw all his stuff in trash bags and leaving it outside.”

I couldn’t help kind of smirking at the thought of a bunch of trash bags sitting outside her gorgeous apartment.

“Kendra, I can’t fucking believe him. Did Brady and Chris know what happened?” I said. 

“They did. They met the girl and everything.” 

Wait so Brady knew John had sex with some random girl and failed to tell me that when I asked about his trip? Why wouldn’t he tell me? Does he have a secret about the trip too?

I let Kendra cry on my shoulder for the next few hours. I told her what an asshat I think John is and eventually she asked me to stop. And then she asked me to leave because she needed to be alone to bag up his shit. I told her that I thought I should stay and she insisted I leave. Which was rude, but I’ll overlook it. I needed to confront Brady anyway.

I called him and told him I was coming over. Brady answered the door and we hugged and kissed and he tried to walk back to the dining room, but I grabbed his hand. I pushed him onto the couch and straddled him. Brady smirked up at me, clearly into my little domineering act. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him making my way down to his throat. I could feel between my legs that he was getting excited and I can’t lie, I was to. But I was here on a mission.

I grabbed the top of his hair where it’s grown out a bit and yanked hard so that he was looking directly up at me. “Why didn’t you tell me John cheated on Kendra in San Francisco?”

Brady’s body kind of deflated and he looked down guiltily. He didn’t say anything for several seconds so I said, “Huh?”

“He asked me not to tell you. He wanted to tell Kendra on his own accord and I didn’t want to strip him of that opportunity. He knew you would tell her,” Brady said.

“Of course I would tell her! She’s my best fucking friend. Why would you choose John over me?”

Brady started to say, “He asked me-”

But I shouted, “Your loyalty is to me, not John! You wouldn’t even know him if it wasn’t for me.”

“I know. I just didn’t want you or me to get involved in their relationship. He deserved the right to tell her himself.”

“Do you know she found out because she found a condom receipt? That asshole wasn’t going to tell her!”

Brady didn’t say anything and I couldn’t help asking, “Did you hook up with someone too?”

He looked up at me, stunned. “Of course not. I can’t believe you would even ask me that.”

“You never know. Kendra didn’t think John would ever be capable of hooking up with someone else either.” I climbed off Brady’s lap and grabbed my bag to head to his room.

He continued sitting on the couch, looking at me. I shrugged and headed to his room to get ready for bed. Brady didn’t join me right away so I sent a really sweet text to Kendra letting her know that she’s beautiful and amazing and John sucks and etc. and that I was here for absolutely anything.

Brady finally came in his room and turned off the light and got in bed next to me. I grabbed his neck and started kissing him and he kissed me back for a few minutes before pulling away.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about John,” he started.

I rolled my eyes.

“I understand that you think it was your right to know, but things aren’t always all about you.”

I started to say that it was my right to know, but Brady put a hand on the side of my face/in my hair and I knew he was about to say something life changing/important.

“I…love you,” he said.

My heart jumped up to my throat and I actually thought I was going to vomit. But not because I was grossed out or anything. Brady saying he loved me – completely sober and looking at me in the eye – was almost too much. But I felt it. I closed my eyes because I couldn’t handle all the love and eye contact.

“I love you too,” I said not looking at him.

We kissed and fell asleep without having sex or anything. Just so you guys know, the only other guy I thought I was in love with was my college ex. And I found out that that wasn’t love at all, it was totally lust. So I’m not even sure what love feels like. (I haven’t even told Kendra that I don’t know if I’ve ever been in love because she would just lecture me.)

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typical thursday night.

No one was available for happy hour on Wednesday so I sat at home texting Brady and drinking wine. I realized that my birthday is in two weeks so everyone needs to be fucking available to party with me.

On Thursday we had a little office party to say goodbye to the summer interns. Diana ordered in cupcakes from Sprinkles and called everyone to the break room. She gave some speech about how helpful they were and blah blah blah and announced that we would be hiring one of them full time when he graduates in December. 

I grabbed a cupcake and went to the privacy of my office to scarf it down. I checked my phone and saw that I had a new text message from BJ. I almost vommed.

The message said, “Hey, it’s my last weekend in Chicago before I go back to Georgia. Do you want to grab a drink or something?”

I couldn’t believe the nerve of this kid. I started drafting a scathing message back, telling him what an immature prick I think he is. But then I thought of Brady. If Brady knew the situation he would tell me to be mature and take the high road. I’m almost twenty five and I’m a director. What would bitching out BJ help? He was leaving anyway. I decided not to respond at all. 

After work, I went to Nordstrom to settle the dress situation and ended up getting a dress, earrings, and two pairs of boots for fall/winter. I texted Brady saying that if he got off at a decent time, did he want to come over? I started watching tv and had almost fallen asleep when he responded, “I can be there in 45 mins.”

I jumped up happily, showered and put on something comfortable. I get way more excited to hang out with Brady than I have with any other guy in a long time. I think it’s because he makes me actually use my brain and doesn’t try to immediately get in my pants (although I kind of wish he would).

Brady and I had wine and talked about our days. He mentioned the charity event on Saturday just briefly which I think is weird because we haven’t talked about it since he asked me. Are we even still going together?

We decided to go out to grab a few drinks at a place not too far from my apartment. Well, a few drinks turned into a few more and some shots. Typical Thursday night. I knew that Brady was getting drunk when he started kissing my neck right in the middle of the bar. It was funny, but it only made me want to screw him that much more. We decided to get out of there and Brady left a really generous $80 tip for the bartender. 

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” I asked on our way to the parking lot.

Brady shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you want to drive?”

I didn’t say anything and he tossed me the keys. He obviously doesn’t know my driving history, but he was way drunker than I was. I found his car in the parking garage and said a silent prayer before pulling off. The last thing I need is to wreck Brady’s beautiful car. He would never want me if I did that and couldn’t afford to buy him a new one.

We made it back to my apartment in one piece and after driving Brady’s Audi I decided that I’m ready for a new car. I will start looking for something modest soon. 

We got inside and ended up making out on my bed in the complete darkness. All of our clothes were still on and I started to think maybe Brady wasn’t going to try anything with me since I had turned him down twice. He moved down to my neck and said, “I want you,” flat out. 

But he made no moves to show it. I was completely open to having sex and let Brady know it. I ran my hands under his shirt and tugged at his belt. There were only so many clues I could give him without physically ripping his clothes off and doing him.

Eventually, we grew tired and fell asleep. We were woken up by Brady’s alarm at some insane hour and it was still dark outside. Surprisingly Brady was able to get out of bed and become alert immediately and get ready to leave.

“I would like you to come over later. You can stay the night and we can run tomorrow morning,” he said, leaning down to me in bed. 

I couldn’t help smiling. I don’t want to run, but it’s cute that Brady is trying to plan things.

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three minutes in purgatory.

On Saturday night I was so bored I literally thought I would die. Kendra and John were at a play, Preston and his boyfriend were in Puerto Rico for the weekend and Carly was at Chris’s place and not responding. I’ve never felt so single in my life. 

Finally, in one last ditch effort before I croaked, I texted BJ to see what he was doing.

He responded, “At this bar with some of the guys. Come out.” 

Within thirty minutes, I was in a Finders Keepers dress, Guisseppe Zanottis and a pair of Target earrings because these were college boys I would be hanging out with so I wanted to be modest.

I finished a glass of wine and then taxied to the bar. BJ and about ten of his frat brothers had taken over a corner of the bar and had several pitchers of beer already.

“Well, look who it is. I thought you only existed in the office,” BJ said, greeting me with a hug and a kiss on my temple. Even though he’s almost four years younger than me, I still felt teeny tiny in his arms. He was wearing khaki shorts, a trendy denim button down, and Sperrys with a backward Polo hat on his head. 

“Guys, this is who I was telling you about, Reese.”

The guys said hi and gave me appreciative nods. We got to talking and I learned that one of them is from a town thirty minutes away from the town I’m from so he bought me my first drink. The guys were all over me and asking tons of questions. I was obviously loving it and eating all this attention up.

Three hours and several Patron shots (they insisted) later, the frat was gone and only BJ and I remained at the bar. We were completely drunk and had spent most of night dancing, arguing about everything and laughing about nothing. 

Once the bar started clearing out, we made our way outside to the muggy night.

“I’m glad you came out tonight. It took you long enough,” BJ said.

“You lucked out because all my friends were busy tonight. I was just bored enough to hang out with you,” I said.

“Oh yeah? You had fun though, didn’t you?”

I smiled. “A little bit.”

“I knew you would be a good dancer,” BJ said.

I started dancing in the middle of the sidewalk and BJ grabbed my waist and pulled me close so that my back was to his chest. I quickly pulled away and pretended I didn’t like it.

I turned back toward him and he was staring down at me with a fiery look in his eyes – not smiling or looking goofy like he normally does. The truth was I wanted BJ. I wanted him badly. And it wasn’t just because I was plastered. He looked so hot in his southern preppy attire that I wanted to lick him head to toe. 

There were so many reasons I shouldn’t though – he’s four years younger than me, he’s an intern and if anyone found out I would be fired, he had that “thing” with Amanda, etc. But none of that seemed to matter. No one would find out. How would they? And who cares if he’s younger? People say I have a youthful spirit anyway. 

“Do you want to come over?” I asked. 

“Yeah,” BJ answered.

We cabbed to my apartment and sat so close to each other I was practically on his lap. We talked about college or something and every time the driver would go over a bump or take a turn too fast, we would almost kiss. 

I let us into my apartment, immediately kicked off my shoes and padded to my room to change into something more comfortable (cropped tank, lace shorts). BJ was sitting on my couch waiting. 

“Damn, you look hot,” he said in a low voice.

I spun and he caught my wrist. He pulled me on his lap and I let him, no longer playing hard to get. We instantly started making out. It was urgent and a little bit sloppy, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to have sex with him. I pulled his head back by his hair and kissed his throat. BJ let out a moan and I continued licking and sucking his neck. 

We started kind of dry humping and I couldn’t even pretend not to want it anymore. 

“Take me to my room,” I said. 

He picked me up with my legs still wrapped around his waist and carried me to my room. He dropped me on the bed and pulled off his shirt, seemingly simultaneously. I never knew it, but BJ has a huge tattoo of his last name going down the side of his torso which looked cool but was super pointless. Such a bro. 

We ripped each other’s clothes off – my top then his shorts then my shorts. BJ was standing over my naked body in just boxer briefs. Even though he’s on the skinnier side, his body is really lean and ripped and he had a nice sized bulge in the front of his boxer briefs. 

BJ leaned down and frenchkissed my hipbone then got back up and rolled on a condom. That’s when I realized that this was actually happening. It was too late to go back now (and I didn’t want to) so this had to be worthwhile.

He climbed on top of me and kind of fumbled around for a moment trying to put his penis in. Wtf. Just when I was about to blame #whiskeydick and call the whole thing off, he got it in. He started going in and out really fast like a jackhammer and it was unpleasant. I was actually bored. I knew that when I noticed that my ceiling fan needed to be dusted, something had to change.

I made BJ flip over so I was on top. He gave me a lazy version of his normal smirk and said, “You’re so sexy, Reese.”

I started riding him like California Chrome and all he could do was grab my hips and hang on. All of that sexual tension we built up came down to this so I was going to make the most of it.

“Oh my God,” BJ moaned. 

I looked down and his brow was furrowed, his eyes were shut and he was biting his lip so hard that it was turning white. Somehow he still looked hot and I kept going, harder. 

Before I could pull out any of my signature moves (the spin), BJ let out a low groan that sounded almost like a whimper.

Um, okay.

He sighed and I felt his whole body relax. So he was finished. I climbed off him and sat there, baffled and mortified. I couldn’t believe that was it. I’d risked my job for three minutes in purgatory.

BJ wasn’t saying anything and it was pissing me off so I called his name. When he didn’t answer, I said it again and elbowed his ribs.

He let out a deep breath and rolled away from me. He was sleeping. 

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drunk reese comes out to play.

Between the launch of the Nantucket Cottage line, the warehouse sale, and the deal with the Indonesian artist, I was swamped on Monday and Tuesday. I didn’t get out of the office until almost midnight both days and obviously passed out as soon as I got home.

On Wednesday, I gave my ad team a long list of tasks to keep them busy and snuck out by 5:30 to meet Kendra for drinks. We went to a place in between both of our jobs and got a pitcher of sangria. It was gone before I even finished recapping my day so we ordered another. And another. After a while, I needed a bathroom break but it was one of those singular bathroom situations so Kendra told me she would meet me outside. Which was honestly kind of offensive because we always go into the bathroom together. But whatever. 

Is it just me or do you never realize how drunk you are until you’re alone in a bathroom? I was sitting on the toilet handling my business, giggling like a fucking weirdo. While I was washing my hands I realized that I wanted to see Eric. I hadn’t heard from him all day even though he usually texts me in the morning. I pulled out my phone and called him, but he didn’t answer. Determined, I tried again and he picked up. That’s more like it. 

“Hello?” The background sounded loud, like he was in a bar or something. 

“Hey E!” I shouted. I had never called him “E” nor had he given me permission to. 

“Hi Reese. How are you?” he replied. 

“I’m good. I miss you. Wanna hang out?”

“I’m a little bit busy right now. Can we tomorrow?” 

Drunk Reese does not like rejection. 

“Why? What are you doing?”

“I’m at a bar watching the game with my friends,” he said. 

“So your friends are more important than me?”

It sounded like he stepped outside or into the bathroom because the background noise went away. 

“I didn’t say that,” Eric said. 

“I’ve been busy all week. Don’t you even want to see me?” I cried.

“I do want to see you, Reese, but I’m busy right now.” 

“If you really want to see me, come and get me.”

“I can’t right now.”

“So you don’t want to see me. Wow, Eric, I hope your friends are really worth it!”

He let out a deep sigh. “Are you serious right now, Reese?”

“Dead!” I exclaimed. 

He paused for a moment before saying, “Where are you?” 

I told him and he said he would be there in fifteen minutes. I emerged from the bathroom and Kendra said, “What took so long?” 

“I’m leaving,” I announced.

“Um okay. Where are you going?” she asked. 

“Eric is coming to get me,” I said, happily.

We still had a quarter pitcher of sangria left so I insisted we finish it before leaving. When we got outside, sure enough Eric was waiting at the curb in his Bentley.

“Do you want a ride home?” I asked Kendra, who had taken the subway to the restaurant. 

She said sure so we climbed in.

“Hiiiiii,” I sang. “You remember Kendra, don’t you? She just lives a few minutes away.”

Eric turned to Kendra in the backseat and said hello. I talked nonstop the entire way to Kendra’s while they listened and didn’t say anything. She thanked him for the ride and gave him what looked like a “good luck” look. 

“Did you want to come over?” Eric asked as we left Kendra’s apartment. He sounded exasperated. 

“Duh!” I said. I insisted he stop at a 7-11 so I could use the restroom again and get some Twizzlers (I don’t even like Twizzlers).

When we got to his condo, I immediately stripped off my dress and wedges and sat on his sectional eating my Twizzlers. Eric turned on the game and sat next to me, but didn’t say anything. I totally planned on going to his place and having wild, raunchy sex, but Drunk Reese passed out.

This morning, I woke up next to Eric in his bed. I felt awful about the stunt I pulled, but I’m not good at apologizing so I just gave him the best blow job of his life instead. He dropped me off at home so I could get ready for work and told me he would be busy but in touch. It irritated me a bit that he was claiming busy when I was actually the one who would be busy. But whatever.

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