shake it off.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I was swamped at work since I was in charge of the entire office while Dave and Diana were gone. Nothing crazy really happened, but it seemed like everyone suddenly had all these random ass questions that I didn’t have the answers to. I winged it though and nothing blew up so I think we’re good.

On Wednesday evening, I wanted to let loose from my serious week so I met Kendra, Preston and Dillon for dinner and drinks. I got a baby caeser and a huge pitcher of sangria for the table and immediately chugged an entire glass. Kendra was groaning about how stressful her job has become and now she’s questioning being a lawyer all together and Preston, being Preston, calmed her down in his soothing Kris Jenner voice. Then he ordered us all shots.

Brady texted me at around 7:30 when he got off and I invited him. Dillon started telling us about how he recently met a modeling scout who wants him to do a nude test shoot this weekend. I told him that it sounds sketchy, but he assured me that it is completely legit. I let him know that I want to see the photos when he’s finished though.

By the time Brady arrived, I was tipsy, but not quite drunk.

“Oh my God, hiiiiiii!” I squealed, jumping up to hug him. 

We sat down and I poured him a glass of sangria while I filled him in on what we were talking about.

“So does posing nude seem normal for a first time test shoot?” I asked.

“I’m not familiar with that industry so I’m not sure,” Brady answered. I rolled my eyes at his politically correct answer. Just agree with me.

For the next half an hour we drank and talked about random stuff. I excitedly asked everyone if they heard about how the US Ebola patient had died and the extreme precautionary measures they were taking to dispose of his body. Kendra asked me to stop because it was making her lose her appetite. Rude.

I was complaining to Brady about my week when the host led a group of three older people to the table next to us. One of the men called Brady’s name.

“Hello!” Brady stood up to greet him. They all shook hands and then Brady introduced me to one of the lead surgeons from the hospital and his wife who is a nurse at the hospital.

“Wow Brady, you’ve really done well for yourself, huh?” the surgeon, George, said and he nudged Brady and winked at me.

Brady shrugged all sheepishly and I stood there like a trophy wife while they talked for a little bit. George kept trying to bring me into the conversation which was nice, but sometimes I’m better seen than heard (I’m sure we can all agree).

We sat back down and ordered more drinks and food. Kendra, Preston, Dillon and I were talking and laughing really loudly and George kept leaning over to our table to comment and laugh with us. I was sitting closest to him so I was getting most of his attention and I could smell on his breath that he had enjoyed some adult beverages himself. George kept saying my name and commenting on how I was eating my zucchini fries. If our significant others weren’t sitting on either side of us, I would think he was actually flirting with me. Definite creepy old man vibe.

At one point after I was drunk, I was taking a selfie with Brady on my phone. I started reviewing the picture and George said, “You don’t want to take a picture with me, Reese?”

I giggled and turned the camera back on to take a picture with him. As soon as I snapped the picture, he turned his head to kiss me on the cheek. Ew. Too far.

That “Shake It Off” song by Taylor Swift came on and Dillon screamed, “This is my fucking jam!”

He stood up and grabbed Preston and me and we ran to the little dance floor in the restaurant. On weekend nights, the place turns into a bar/club, but this was Wednesday so no one was dancing. Except us. Yolo. 

I don’t know how, but I knew every word to that ridiculous ass song. I can’t even remember hearing it more than one time prior to this incident. Brady had his back to me and was talking to George, who was watching us. As the song was ending I skipped back to our table and shook it off a little bit in front of George before sitting back down between him and Brady.

About half an hour later, Kendra decided she had to go so we started wrapping our evening up.

“I took the el here, can I go home with you?” I purred in Brady’s ear.

“Sure,” he said, not looking at me.

George insisted on hugging me before we left since we are besties now and his wife gave me a tight smile. She probably needs to keep him on a tighter leash.

The ride to Brady’s was silent, but I didn’t notice/care because I was too busy SnapChatting and Facebooking.

When we got inside and to his room, Brady said, “Are you even going to apologize for what you just did?” 

“Whaaattt?” I whined, looking at him in utter confusion. What I did? 

“You embarrassed me,” he said.

“I was just having fun!” I said innocently.

“Of course you were. Do you care about anything or anyone besides yourself?”

I opened my mouth to say something, but I actually didn’t have an answer to that.

“I don’t even know what the fuck goes on in your head sometimes.”

“Umm, ooookay,” I said slowly. I don’t like being on the receiving end of a confrontation. Especially when drunk. The tears were already threatening to form. “I guess I’m going to leave.”

“Yeah, maybe you should,” Brady said hastily.

I spun on my heel and marched out, but it wasn’t until I got outside that I realized I didn’t have my car. I thought about going back inside and apologizing so I could pass out in Brady’s warm bed, but that’s just not me. I trekked to the bus stop and went home to cry.

And no, we haven’t talked since.

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worst case of blue balls of his life.

All four of us met for happy hour on Wednesday and I was so glad we were all being reunited. We’ve all been so wrapped up in our own things that we haven’t had a chance to see each other. Carly swung by and got me from work so we could meet Kendra and Preston at a spot on the west side.

We sat at a hightop table and ordered drinks and mozzarella sticks.

“How’s your new position?” I asked Kendra as we waited for our goodies to come.

“Honestly, it’s kind of stressful. Before I was basically just the office bitch and now I’m transitioning into a more important role. I’m helping do research and making appearances in court. This is actually what I went to school for,” Kendra said.

“And they still have you dressing like Kohl’s had a liquidation sale, I see,” Preston said. 

We all laughed.

“Yeah, I don’t mind it though,” Kendra said.

“It probably helps keeps the guys at bay. We don’t need another scandal with an intern.” Preston looked pointedly at me.

“Whatever happened with that? Have you talked to him?” Kendra asked.

“No. Fuck him,” I scoffed. 

“I think that was the problem,” Preston said and everyone laughed.

I rolled my eyes and explained to them what’s been going on in the office lately with Whitney and Amanda.

“Reese, you’re so above that,” Kendra said. “Those girls are loving getting under your skin. Don’t let them distract you from doing your job.”

“That’s exactly what Brady said!” I practically shouted.

“How’s our favorite nerdy pharmacist doing?” Preston asked.

“Good,” I said coyly. I couldn’t help smiling and blushing at hearing his name. Ugh. What’s happening to me?

“Chris said he really likes you!” Carly put in just as the waitress brought our drinks and a tray of mozzarella sticks.

“Really? Chris said that?!” I exclaimed. Obviously Brady likes me, but if he’s discussing his feelings with Chris then that’s major.

Carly finished chewing the stick she had shoved in her mouth. “Yeah. He said Brady talks about you all the time.”

“What does he say?!” 

I was dying to know what Brady thinks. Does he think I’m relationship material? Does he think I’m a dumbass? Does he want to fuck me?!

“Chris didn’t say. Good things obviously.”

I made a mental note to ask Carly to pry Chris and find out exactly what was said. I must know! 

Preston began telling us about his boyfriend, who he refers to as Mr. Murphy which is weird. Apparently Mr. Murphy is very successful in the stock market and just bought a Tesla S. 

“I’m hoping he buys a car for me next,” Preston said.

I would love a boyfriend who would just take me on random vacations and buy me a car. I wonder if Brady is opposed to it. I mean, apparently he does like me “a lot.”

After happy hour and several beers, Carly was supposed to drop me off then go to Chris and Brady’s. I told her that I would just go with her. I could surprise Brady! I wasn’t sure what time he got off work, but it was almost 9:00. Surely he wasn’t still slaving at the hospital.

Chris let us in and I immediately asked if Brady was home.

“Yeah, he’s in the dining room,” Chris replied and I pushed past him.

I found Brady sitting at the dining room table engrossed in his laptop. He didn’t see me approaching so I squealed, “Hiii!” and jumped in his lap.

“Hey!” he said, surprised.

I kissed him. “Long time no see, huh?”

“I was beginning to forget what you look like,” Brady said. 

“What are you working on?” I asked, turning toward his MacBook. A spreadsheet with a bunch of names and numbers filled the screen.

“Just some stuff for work.”

“You’re off the clock now. Put your work away and have fun.” I turned back toward him and tugged his tie. I do believe in working hard – when I’m at work. As soon as I leave the office, I want nothing to do with any of that shit. 

Brady didn’t say anything or move so I reached over and shut his laptop. I felt his body kind of deflate.

“Are you a workaholic, Brady?” I asked, sensing that he wanted to continue working.

“Not really, but I wanted to finish that tonight,” he answered.

“Finish it later. Let’s go to your room.” I hopped up and dragged him out of his chair and down the hall to his bedroom.

“What did you do tonight?” Brady asked as he untied his tie.

“We went to happy hour. It’s our Wednesday tradition, duh,” I answered. I sat on the bed and started taking selfies for SnapChat.

“Duh? Is that something I should’ve known?”

“You should have my entire life and schedule memorized by now,” I said, not looking up from my phone.

“Got it. Give me a second to write that in my planner.”

I looked up and Brady was taking off his dress shirt so he was just in slacks and a white undershirt. He looked so damn hot. I watched him place his tie and shirt in the closet then come back out and sit on the bed next to me. I could smell his cologne – Armani or something – and it was intoxicating.

“You smell good,” I said.

“Thank you.”

We just kind of looked at each other and for the first time I could actually feel the sexual electricity between us. It wasn’t just me this time. He had a lusty look in his eyes and I could tell that he wanted me. We leaned in and started making out, kind of timidly at first then he wrapped an arm around my waist and used his body to push me back on the bed. He pulled my shirt over my head then I took his off and ran my hands along his smooth toned back. He began kissing me with more aggression and rubbing my bare thighs. Thank God I shaved. 

I reached down and fussed with his belt buckle until I got it undone then unzipped and unbuttoned his pants. I could feel that he was hard. Brady moved down to my neck and I let out an agonized moan. I could feel his dick on my leg and more than anything I wanted him inside me. My vagina was literally pulsating for him. But then I got these images in my head. Kendra rolling her eyes. BJ smirking up at me in my bed. Eric. Eric’s breakup text. Diana glaring at me across her desk. I couldn’t have sex with Brady. I felt like I was going to vomit.

I’ve denied guys sex before (all the time actually) but only when they were douchebags and I didn’t care if they were pissed. But Brady wasn’t being a douchebag and I didn’t want him to have to say no to him. So I had no idea what to do. 

I quickly pushed him off and jumped off the bed.

“Let’s go hang out with Carly and Chris,” I said, putting my shirt back on. It was the only thing I could think to say. I turned back to the bed where Brady was laying, shirtless with his pants undone. He looked bewildered, hurt almost, and I felt awful that I had gotten him all worked up. 

“I will meet you there,” he finally said after almost a full minute. 

I found Carly and Chris in the basement and by the time I got down there I was so aggravated with myself. Could I have handled it any more ungracefully? Brady probably thinks I’m some sort inexperienced, prude virgin. I should’ve politely explained that I wasn’t comfortable doing anything more than kissing. He would understand. But I was the one who started undressing him so he probably thinks I’m bipolar and crazy in addition to everything else. Which I am, honestly.

I sat down watching Chris and Carly for a moment then I realized that I really, really just wanted to leave. I didn’t want to see Brady.

“Carly, can we leave?” I suddenly asked.

“Right now? Can Brady take you?” she asked. 

“Yes now! Please.”

Carly looked at me, concerned, then turned back to Chris. “I gotta go.”

I knew I was being a brat, but at that moment I didn’t care. She and Chris took ten minutes to say their goodbyes then I dragged her out of there without saying goodbye to Brady. I’ll make up an excuse later.

“What was that all about? Did something happen with you and Brady?” Carly asked on the way to my apartment.

“Ugh,” I groaned. “I probably just gave him the worst case of blue balls of his life.”

“Did you guys hook up?!” Carly’s eyes got wide.

“Not quite. But he wanted to. And I wanted to. But I’m trying to refrain from having sex with him.”

“If you both want to then why are you still waiting?”

“Because…” Carly obviously doesn’t realize what I’m trying to achieve here. “Kendra concluded that sex always ruins things with me and guys. And I actually don’t want to ruin things with Brady.”

She gave me a warm smile. “That’s the cutest thing ever, Reese. How long are you going to be able to wait though?”

Good question. 

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hot mess in nyc.

I managed to lay low until Thursday and I was happy to be getting out of the city even if it was for business.

Diana treated me to lunch then a car took us to the airport. Things were back to normal between us and neither of us had mentioned the “incident.” I really just want to put it behind me because I’m embarrassed beyond belief and honestly it was not worth it.

When we landed in NYC, we checked into our swanky hotel and changed into nicer clothes because we were meeting some of Diana’s friends for happy hour. We were each booked our own room which was nice, but a little bit unnecessary. Not complaining though.

Happy hour was a few blocks away from our hotel so we walked. Diana’s friends were already there looking like the the cast of the Real Housewives. I just want to be that hot when I get older. I gave myself a two drunk limit because I didn’t need to be a hot mess in NYC and with my boss no less.

Obviously, I surpassed two drinks within the first fifteen minutes. But in my own defense, Diana and her friends (who I found out are her sorority sisters) kept buying me drinks and it would be disrespectful and rude to turn them down, right?

I was tipsy when I received a text from Rob saying, “Hey lady. Heard you’re in my city already. What do you have planned for the evening?”

I grabbed Diana, who was dancing to that “Loyal” song by Chris Brown, and showed her the text. 

“Have fun! Invite him! It looks like he fancies you,” she said. 

“You don’t think that would be like, unprofessional?” I asked. 

Diana narrowed her icy eyes at me. “Are you really trying to convince me that you care about professionalism?” 

Good point.

I quickly sent Rob a text back letting him know where I was and that he was free to stop by.

Diana ended up getting belligerently drunk which is uncharacteristic of her, but very entertaining. One of her sorority sisters took her back to the hotel while the rest of us continued drinking. The girls were so much fun that I started wondering why I never joined a sorority in college (then I remembered that I hated all those try-too-hard bitches).

Rob showed up an hour later. He was cuter than I remember (maybe from all the rum) and greeted me with a hug and kiss on the cheek.

“You’re looking good,” he smiled, revealing a row of blindingly white teeth. 

“So are you. It’s good to see you again,” I replied. 

Rob wore an expensive looking light gray dress shirt, a chic paisley tie complete with a tie clip, slacks, and shoes that probably cost more than my entire outfit.

We walked over to the bar to get drinks. He ordered a whiskey on the rocks which was impressive and made up for the fact that he’s obviously very metrosexual. We began talking, mostly about work and our respective companies. Then he started telling me about some of his previous jobs and college. While listening to his stories I tried to put some pieces together and figure out how old he is. I decided that he’s probably between 32 and 35. He made no mention of a wife, ex wife, girlfriend or fiancée so I assumed he is single and ready to settle down.

We had several more drinks and continuing talking. Well he did. I definitely think of myself as a talkative and outgoing person, but Rob wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. I kept zoning out and people watching and then he would ask questions to make sure I was paying attention.

At some point, all of Diana’s friends had left so I was alone with Rob. It was only 11:00 (8:00 by New York standards) but I knew we had that morning meeting so I told Rob I needed to go. We walked outside and he hailed a cab. 

“My hotel is actually only a few blocks away. I can walk,” I said. 

“Come over for a bit. It is only 11:00,” Rob said. 

“I shouldn’t. I need to go check and make sure my boss is okay,” I protested.

I didn’t notice before, but Rob and I were holding hands. He pulled me closer and grabbed my waist and I felt his cold fingers on the skin between my crop top and skirt. “Come on…”

Even though Rob is hot, I was not about to put myself in that situation. And I didn’t particularly want to hook up with him or anything anyway.

“No, I really can’t. Plus I’m getting tired,” I said. This was actually true and I felt a yawn forming. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

“I’m one thousand percent sure.”

Rob looked at me for a few seconds as if he was going to say something and then let me go. “Fine. Enjoy your night.”

He climbed into the cab without saying anything else and slammed the door. 

What a douche. 

The next morning, I woke up feeling fine and called Diana to see if she wanted to grab breakfast before our meeting. She didn’t answer so I showered and got ready. She hadn’t called back by the time I was finished with my makeup which struck me as weird so I decided to go to her suite next door and check on her. 

After I knocked for five minutes, Diana finally answered her hotel room door. She was wearing a robe and what looked like last night’s makeup was running down her face. Her normally stick straight blonde hair was pulled into a knot on top of her head and I can’t guarantee that there wasn’t vomit clumped on the side. Perfect Diana looked like hell. 

“Reese, I’ve been throwing up all night and morning. I couldn’t even sleep. What did you guys make me drink?” she greeted me.

“You had a little bit of everything,” I said. I had to refrain from laughing. I really needed to get a picture of this situation for blackmail.

“I feel like shit,” she said.

“Are you going to make it to the meeting? It starts in an hour.”

“You’re going to have to take over this one, Reese. I’m about to die.”

Before I could object, Diana shut the door in my face. I stood there for a moment waiting for her to come back and when she didn’t, I knocked and waited and knocked again. She refused to answer the door so I had no choice but to go to the meeting by myself.

I met with Martin and Rob at their headquarters along with two men from their sales department. The meeting and everyone was very chill except Rob who kept demanding answers from me, making me elaborate, awkwardly staring at me when I finished talking and saying that he didn’t know if our company was a good fit. It was complete bullshit.

We ended the meeting exactly where we started and accomplished nothing. Martin assured me that he wanted to move forward with us and that he would email the final details to Diana within a week. I wanted to say “fuck you” to Rob on my way out, but decided that wouldn’t help anything.

Diana got a Mighty Kids meal from McDonald’s which is the best hangover cure so she’s going to be fine. Back to Chicago we go.

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i can’t believe i’m getting fired.

I don’t know why I thought BJ wasn’t going to tell anyone about our little tryst. Of course he was going to tell the whole office, this is BJ we’re talking about.

I waltzed into the office on Monday morning and ran into Whitney, who was walking away from the executive office area.

“Morning,” I said.

She looked weirdly surprised to see me.

“Hi, Reese,” she said shortly.

“Good weekend?” I asked.

“It was pleasant.” She continued walking without another word which was rude, but I don’t expect any more from Whitney.

I walked past the interns’ desks and the guys kind of snickered and Amanda gave me an unenthusiastic smile and an eye roll. BJ was nowhere to be found, but had obviously already told everyone about our weekend. Whatever.

I spent the morning replying to emails, and re-uping on tea/avoiding curious looks in the break room. BJ must have decided to play hooky for the day, which was not surprising because he’s a pussy and can’t handle the heat. 

Right before lunch Diana called me into her office. Call me naive, but I thought she was going to ask how the meeting with the magazine publisher went last week so I gathered the notes and walked down to her office.

“Shut the door,” she told me when I walked in. Her reading glasses were perched on her nose about to slip off and she didn’t even bother looking up at me.

I closed the door and sat in the white Hepplewhite chair in front of her desk. “I hope you had a good weekend. I have the notes from my meeting with the publisher from Thursday if you want to look over them. It went really well.”

Diana out her hand up to silence me. She slowly took her glasses off her face and stared at me coldly. “Reese, you may not realize this, but I know everything that goes on around here. Everything.”

I nodded. I knew exactly where this was going. She had obviously caught wind of what was being talked about in the office.

“When you started here, Reese, I saw something in you. You were ambitious, driven, aggressive, passionate. You reminded me a lot of myself.”

I nodded again. 

“And you’ve done some amazing things in your time here – things no one has thought to do. You’ve created valuable relationships and outstanding partnerships.” She turned to her computer. “I just got an email from Martin, requesting we come to New York City on Thursday.”

I couldn’t believe it. I was actually getting fired. How was I going to explain this to my parents? They were going to have to help me with rent until I found another job. I have hardly any money saved. Would I have to move back home?

“You know about our no tolerance non-fraternization policy here, don’t you, Reese?” Diana continued. 

I nodded. I couldn’t even look her in the eye.

“Brandon is an intern and he’s your subordinate. What I’ve been hearing is extremely inappropriate and clearly against policy. I can’t believe that you would even put yourself in a situation to let something like this happen.”

I felt my eyes filling up with tears. This was mortifying. I wanted her to just fire me so I could get out of there and figure out what I was going to do with my life. I would probably have to sell my shoe collection and all my expensive designer furniture. I would actually rather die.

“You’re such a smart girl, Reese. I’m extremely disappointed in you. You are an invaluable asset to this organization.”

She paused for an uncomfortably long time. I thought about asking her not to tell my mom what happened and assuring her that my office would be cleaned out in an hour.

“And for that reason, I’m going to overlook this temporary lapse in judgment,” Diana said. 

I looked up at her, incredulous. I wasn’t fired? “Seriously?”

“You don’t see Tracey here, do you? I am keeping this between us.”

She was right. Normally Tracey would’ve handled a situation like this. 

“But you have to assure me that we won’t ever, ever have to have a conversation like this again.” 

“You won’t, I promise,” I said. 

“To be sure, we have already transferred Brandon to the distribution center to complete the remainder of his internship. This should prevent any further issues.”

Thank goodness. I don’t want to have to avoid him in the office for the rest of the summer. Although it’s going to suck to get my own lattes now. 

I scurried back to my office and took two deep breaths to calm myself. I could not cry at work. I wanted to though. I was so fucking embarrassed. I hid out in my office for the rest of the day. Diana sent me the itinerary for the NYC trip later that afternoon. We would be leaving at 3:00 on Thursday, staying at the W, meeting with Martin’s people then flying home at 1:00 on Friday.

I can’t wait to get out of Chicago.

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three minutes in purgatory.

On Saturday night I was so bored I literally thought I would die. Kendra and John were at a play, Preston and his boyfriend were in Puerto Rico for the weekend and Carly was at Chris’s place and not responding. I’ve never felt so single in my life. 

Finally, in one last ditch effort before I croaked, I texted BJ to see what he was doing.

He responded, “At this bar with some of the guys. Come out.” 

Within thirty minutes, I was in a Finders Keepers dress, Guisseppe Zanottis and a pair of Target earrings because these were college boys I would be hanging out with so I wanted to be modest.

I finished a glass of wine and then taxied to the bar. BJ and about ten of his frat brothers had taken over a corner of the bar and had several pitchers of beer already.

“Well, look who it is. I thought you only existed in the office,” BJ said, greeting me with a hug and a kiss on my temple. Even though he’s almost four years younger than me, I still felt teeny tiny in his arms. He was wearing khaki shorts, a trendy denim button down, and Sperrys with a backward Polo hat on his head. 

“Guys, this is who I was telling you about, Reese.”

The guys said hi and gave me appreciative nods. We got to talking and I learned that one of them is from a town thirty minutes away from the town I’m from so he bought me my first drink. The guys were all over me and asking tons of questions. I was obviously loving it and eating all this attention up.

Three hours and several Patron shots (they insisted) later, the frat was gone and only BJ and I remained at the bar. We were completely drunk and had spent most of night dancing, arguing about everything and laughing about nothing. 

Once the bar started clearing out, we made our way outside to the muggy night.

“I’m glad you came out tonight. It took you long enough,” BJ said.

“You lucked out because all my friends were busy tonight. I was just bored enough to hang out with you,” I said.

“Oh yeah? You had fun though, didn’t you?”

I smiled. “A little bit.”

“I knew you would be a good dancer,” BJ said.

I started dancing in the middle of the sidewalk and BJ grabbed my waist and pulled me close so that my back was to his chest. I quickly pulled away and pretended I didn’t like it.

I turned back toward him and he was staring down at me with a fiery look in his eyes – not smiling or looking goofy like he normally does. The truth was I wanted BJ. I wanted him badly. And it wasn’t just because I was plastered. He looked so hot in his southern preppy attire that I wanted to lick him head to toe. 

There were so many reasons I shouldn’t though – he’s four years younger than me, he’s an intern and if anyone found out I would be fired, he had that “thing” with Amanda, etc. But none of that seemed to matter. No one would find out. How would they? And who cares if he’s younger? People say I have a youthful spirit anyway. 

“Do you want to come over?” I asked. 

“Yeah,” BJ answered.

We cabbed to my apartment and sat so close to each other I was practically on his lap. We talked about college or something and every time the driver would go over a bump or take a turn too fast, we would almost kiss. 

I let us into my apartment, immediately kicked off my shoes and padded to my room to change into something more comfortable (cropped tank, lace shorts). BJ was sitting on my couch waiting. 

“Damn, you look hot,” he said in a low voice.

I spun and he caught my wrist. He pulled me on his lap and I let him, no longer playing hard to get. We instantly started making out. It was urgent and a little bit sloppy, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to have sex with him. I pulled his head back by his hair and kissed his throat. BJ let out a moan and I continued licking and sucking his neck. 

We started kind of dry humping and I couldn’t even pretend not to want it anymore. 

“Take me to my room,” I said. 

He picked me up with my legs still wrapped around his waist and carried me to my room. He dropped me on the bed and pulled off his shirt, seemingly simultaneously. I never knew it, but BJ has a huge tattoo of his last name going down the side of his torso which looked cool but was super pointless. Such a bro. 

We ripped each other’s clothes off – my top then his shorts then my shorts. BJ was standing over my naked body in just boxer briefs. Even though he’s on the skinnier side, his body is really lean and ripped and he had a nice sized bulge in the front of his boxer briefs. 

BJ leaned down and frenchkissed my hipbone then got back up and rolled on a condom. That’s when I realized that this was actually happening. It was too late to go back now (and I didn’t want to) so this had to be worthwhile.

He climbed on top of me and kind of fumbled around for a moment trying to put his penis in. Wtf. Just when I was about to blame #whiskeydick and call the whole thing off, he got it in. He started going in and out really fast like a jackhammer and it was unpleasant. I was actually bored. I knew that when I noticed that my ceiling fan needed to be dusted, something had to change.

I made BJ flip over so I was on top. He gave me a lazy version of his normal smirk and said, “You’re so sexy, Reese.”

I started riding him like California Chrome and all he could do was grab my hips and hang on. All of that sexual tension we built up came down to this so I was going to make the most of it.

“Oh my God,” BJ moaned. 

I looked down and his brow was furrowed, his eyes were shut and he was biting his lip so hard that it was turning white. Somehow he still looked hot and I kept going, harder. 

Before I could pull out any of my signature moves (the spin), BJ let out a low groan that sounded almost like a whimper.

Um, okay.

He sighed and I felt his whole body relax. So he was finished. I climbed off him and sat there, baffled and mortified. I couldn’t believe that was it. I’d risked my job for three minutes in purgatory.

BJ wasn’t saying anything and it was pissing me off so I called his name. When he didn’t answer, I said it again and elbowed his ribs.

He let out a deep breath and rolled away from me. He was sleeping. 

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i deserve an assistant.

Preston won one of those happy hours where the more people who come the cheaper the drinks will be on Wednesday evening. By 6:30, I was already drunk. Carly, Kendra and John were there along with some of Preston’s coworkers and clients. We hadn’t gotten enough people to get the drinks quite as cheap as I wanted so I needed more people to show up. 

I was brainstorming people to invite when I got the bright idea of inviting Brady to happy hour! I quickly typed an iMessage letting him know where happy hour was and how long we planned on being there. I reread it a few times to make sure I spelled everything correctly and used enough puncuation (six exclamation points seemed adequate) and hit send. I waited a moment for his response and when it didn’t come, I tucked my phone in my purse and partied the rest of the night away. 

He actually never texted me back. 

On Thursday, I texted BJ on my way to work letting him know that I was hungover and needed something to cure it. He was waiting outside my office with a bacon and egg breakfast bagel and a parfait when I got there. I don’t know how he knew, but it was exactly what I needed.

“Jeez, you even look hungover,” he said, following me into my office.

“Fuck you,” I said. I snatched my breakfast from him and set up the feast on my desk. 

“Kidding. You look hot as usual.”

I was too busy chewing a bite of the delicious, but carbatious sandwich to respond.

“What exciting things do you have planned for me today?” BJ asked, in a naughty sounding tone.

I finished chewing. “I have 3,500 new emails. I need you to immediately delete any that don’t concern me.”

“Ah, I get access to your email? I hope I uncover something good. Like your nudes.”

“That won’t happen,” I assured him.

“Damn. Maybe one day though.”

He smirked at me and I rolled my eyes. I got up so he could sit at my computer and I sat in a side chair checking Instagram and Facebook. While he worked on my emails it occurred to me that I hadn’t heard from Martin or Rob. I knew they were as busy as me, but I definitely thought I would’ve heard something (besides an invite for drinks) by now.

Once he finished with the emails, we walked down to the breakroom to raid the vending machine. It just so happens that Amanda and an ad teamer named Aron were already there, drinking mugs of coffee. I almost squealed with excitement. I love awkward situations when they don’t involve me.

“Maybe we should come back later,” BJ said, in a low voice. 

“Nope. I really want a Gatorade,” I said. I didn’t, but I did want to see both of them squirm.

“Hey Amanda. Hey Aron,” I said.

They both said hey and Aron started asking me questions about the campaign they’re working on. I chatted with him for a moment while BJ leaned against the counter engrossed in his phone. Then I crossed the room to the vending machine and Amanda let out a shrill laugh.

“Aron! You’re so funny!” she exclaimed way too loudly.

He said something else and she screamed again. She put a hand on his chest and continued laughing obnoxiously.

God. Could she be any more desperate?

I got my Gatorade and walked back over to them. “What are you guys laughing about?”

Amanda looked taken aback, but quickly recovered and smiled. “Aron said something funny.”

“Oh.”

Amanda poured the rest of her coffee out and practically ran out of there which made me feel kind of bad because obviously I scared her away. But not really.

Later that afternoon I had a meeting with the publisher of a local magazine who wanted to do a feature on our company. I decided to bring BJ along to take notes. It was nice to have a personal assistant and I’m going to ask Diana about hiring one for me full time. I think I deserve it. 

Afterward, we stopped and got froyo which probably isn’t allowed, but whatever. I won’t tell if he won’t. BJ made fun of me for only getting almonds and blueberries on mine, but putting chocolate and gummy bears on it would just be irresponsible.

We ate our froyo on the way back to the office and BJ said, “Try this.”

I scoffed. “No. You have cereal and candy and shit in there. I’m an adult.”

He smirked. “It’s so good.” 

BJ stopped on the sidewalk and backed me into a brick building. He scooped up a spoonful of his melting and dripping froyo and shoved it into my mouth. It annoyed me that it tasted so good. I wiped my chin where some of the froyo had dripped and took a few seconds to chew the Lucky Charms and gummy bears. 

“It was okay,” I said.

BJ licked his lips and stared down at me for way too long without saying anything. He glanced down at my lips and lingered there for a moment then looked back up. I thought he was going to kiss me so I said, “Let’s go!” and walked a foot ahead of him all the way back to the office.

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in your dreams, blow job.

I probably checked Brady’s Facebook sixty times between Monday and Wednesday to see if there were any changes, but either he didn’t log on or his privacy settings prevented me from seeing them. Stupid Facebook.

On Wednesday, Dave decided to let the entire office out at 3:00 PM so we could start enjoying the holiday early. It was super generous of him. As everyone started clearing out, I stayed in my office wrapping things up. The guy, Rob, from Monday sent me an email saying that he enjoyed meeting me and to contact him if I was ever in New York City so we could grab drinks. Then he left his personal cell phone number. It was kind of unprofessional, but I want this deal to work out so I replied that I would do so.

I began shutting down my computer and packing up my things when BJ walked in.

“Ready for the long weekend, boss lady?” he asked, leaning on the edge of my desk.

“Of course. I love any holiday that gives me an excuse to get shitfaced,” I replied.

BJ smirked. “Me too. What are you doing? Come out to the bars with me and my friends.”

This was the third time in the past two weeks he had asked me to hang out with him outside of work and each time I told him absolutely not. The kid is persistent.

“In your dreams, Blow Job,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“No, really. That’s my dream,” he said.

I raised an eyebrow. “What is?”

“You. Blow job,” he said in a low voice.

Suddenly it felt like the room got 100 degrees hotter.

“And that’s exactly where that will stay – in your dreams,” I said.

“I know, but that is within my rights as an American.”

I rolled my eyes and began toward the door.

“What?” BJ called after me. “I can’t help that you’re hot.”

I was almost out of the office when I turned and ran right into him. He was following me out too closely. We were chest to chest (or face to chest rather) and I had accidentally touched him in places I shouldn’t have in the scuffle. I quickly jumped away.

“What the fuck? Can I have some space?” I snapped.

BJ stared down at me – eyes blazing. “You can have whatever you want.”

I felt like I could hear my heart beating loudly in my ears. I hated that this little twenty one year old brat could have an affect on me.

“Bye, Brandon,” I said, gesturing toward the open door.

He didn’t take his eyes off me as he sidled out, way closer to me than necessary.

I wasn’t even to the L stop when I got a text from him: “Have an awesome weekend, Reese.” Just seeing his name on my screen did something to my body. Ugh.

I met Kendra and John for martinis and couldn’t wait to tell them about my fiancé.

“He sounds legit,” John said after I recapped Friday night. “That pharmacy school is very competitive. Awesome that he got in.”

“Isn’t it? He’s really smart,” I said.

“When are you guys hanging out again?” Kendra asked.

I failed to mention that Brady and I hadn’t exchanged numbers or made any plans of seeing each other again. I shrugged and took a sip of my martini. “Soon.”

“I’m really happy for Carly though. She deserves a good guy like Chris,” Kendra said.

I was a little annoyed that she changed the subject from me so abruptly, but I took that moment to check and make sure Brady hadn’t updated his Facebook. He hadn’t. But Carly sent me a text message that said, “Fourth of July BBQ at Chris and Brady’s. :-)”

I was already mentally picking out my outfit.

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drama in the office – pt. two.

Unfortunately things only got worse for the two former lovers. Whitney must have given Amanda some sort of magical pep talk because on Tuesday she marched right up to BJ’s cubical and plopped a pile of his things onto his desk – including that God awful spray painted t-shirt she had made (I couldn’t tell what it said but I’m sure it was cheesy). 

BJ was seemingly surprised and mumbled a thank you. An hour later, Amanda sent Whitney back over to BJ’s cubicle because she changed her mind and actually wanted to keep the custom t-shirt since she paid for it.

Apparently, BJ had already thrown the little creation in the garbage at this point and refused to retrieve it. This resulted in an hour long argument between BJ and Amanda (with Whitney relaying the messages) because the two couldn’t stand to be within 10 feet of each other. It was super entertaining to watch however I couldn’t help being irritated at Whitney for feeding into and enabling this childish drama. I know she was loving feeling like people actually needed her, but our Twitter feed was suffering because of it.

On Wednesday morning, Amanda showed up with a notarized letter from her attorney father stating that BJ needed to reimburse her for the $30 t-shirt or face legal action. What the fuck? Who even does that? 

BJ basically told her to piss off and ignored the letter. This only infuriated Amanda even more and she spent the rest of the morning huffing and puffing and glaring at everyone. 

I sent BJ to Potbelly’s to get me a salad for lunch and he hung out in my office while I ate. 

“She’s driving me crazy. I feel like she’s just doing this to have an excuse to talk to me,” he said.

“Oh, get over yourself,” I teased. 

“Seriously. I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in hanging out with her anymore and now she’s freaking out over a t-shirt.”

I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t even make fun of Amanda because I was apparently crazy too, but in a different way.

I changed the subject and we talked about the work we had left to do for the rest of the day. Then Tracey from HR popped her head in my door. 

“Brandon? Can we speak for a moment?” she asked. 

He said yes and followed her out. Tracey deals with all employee relations, hiring and firing and I hoped BJ wasn’t going to get fired over this nonsense. 

About 15 minutes later he sent me a text: “We’re having a mediation. They’re making us talk our issues out.” I didn’t see BJ again before I left for the day, but I texted him to let me know how things worked out.

Needless to say, I was excited to go to happy hour with Kendra and Preston. With all this drama, I was starting to feel like I was back in high school and I needed to feel like a grown up again.

Kendra brought John along which was kind of annoying but whatever. We ordered drinks and caught up. Preston told us about a new guy he’s seeing – an older, super rich entrepreneur. I think it’ll be good for Preston to date someone older and more established to kind of tame him. Plus maybe having a wealthy boyfriend will allow him to quit one of his jobs.

I told them that Eric and I officially called it quits, but didn’t get into details. 

“I can’t believe you broke up with him before getting us free Cubs tickets,” John said.

That was the last thing on my mind when I was dating Eric, but I appreciated John’s enthusiasm. 

When I got home, I took a shower and got in bed. I received a text from BJ saying that he didn’t know if he was going to make it into the office the next day because he wasn’t feeling well. 

I called bluff and told him he was just trying to avoid the whole Amanda ordeal. He quickly sent back a picture of himself – shirtless and laying in bed. He was making a sad, frowny face, but I was busy having inappropriate thoughts about him being naked in bed.

When I didn’t respond, he said, “Look how miserable I look. You can’t possbily expect me to come in tomorrow.”

“You look fine,” I said back. 

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

He was probably right about that, but I told him I would see him bright and early in the morning. And I couldn’t help going back and looking at his picture way more than I care to admit.

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i know i’m not a walk in the park.

I was so excited for Wednesday happy hour. Preston and Carly were joining us and Kendra found a place that was having two-for-one frozen drinks. We ended up getting this adorable server who I spent most of the evening flirting with. I realized that I had no desire to date a waiter (personal preference) so I decided to hook him up with Carly instead!

He stopped by our table to check on us and I took the opportunity to begin my matchmaking scheme. I subtly asked if he (Chris) had a girlfriend and when he said no, I pointed out that Carly was also single. I began finding other random things they had in common like both of their names started with the letter C and they both had neutral colored shirts on. They were practically meant for each other. I insisted they exchange numbers after we paid the bill and Carly awkwardly obliged.

As we walked out of the restaurant, Carly asked, “Reese, what the fuck was that?”

I feigned surprise. “What do you mean? I was doing you a favor.”

“Reese, do you remember what happened last time you tried to set one of us up?” Kendra asked.

“What?” I replied.

“I was harboring a fugitive for two weeks because his parents threw him out!” Carly exclaimed.

I erupted in laughter. I completely forgot about that. How was I supposed to know the guy had several warrants out for his arrest? People don’t tell you these things right away.

On my way home, I got a text from Eric inviting me to come over. Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I told him yes and he said he would be over in an hour to pick me up. Though the whole Brooke situation was unclear, Eric expressed that he wanted to continue seeing me and I thought that was really sweet. Plus I had a fresh Brazilian that I needed to show off.

We got to his place and snuggled on the sectional while watching Netflix. Naturally this turned into me bouncing up and down on his dick. Afterwards, Eric began getting dressed and said he was willing to take me home whenever I was ready.

I sat there naked, looking at him. Usually I spent the night without question and now suddenly he was kicking me out?

“Um okay. Do you have something to do tonight?” I looked at the clock on his cable box. “It’s 10:30?”

“Not tonight, but in the morning. I have a meeting really early…” he said, pulling his shirt over his head.

“Can’t you take me home on the way there?” I pressed on.

“I would rather not. Your place is not on the way to my meeting. In fact, it’s in the opposite direction. It would be an inconvenience.”

“I’m an inconvenience?”

Eric rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say that. I would just rather you not sleep here tonight.”

I really didn’t care about spending the night with him that much, but the fact that he was so adamant about me leaving was pissing me off.

“Is this about Brooke?” I asked, in an accusatory tone.

Eric sighed. “No. This is about me.”

“Lies. It’s totally about her.”

“Reese,” Eric started, but I interrupted him.

“You and Brooke are totally a couple. I’m not stupid. I know that’s why you stopped calling me,” I continued.

“No, I stopped calling you because you’re fucking crazy!” Eric shouted.

I was silent. It is rare that a guy can just shut me up like that. But that stung. I know I’m not a walk in the park, but crazy?

“Um, okay,” was all I said. I began getting dressed.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Reese. You just do some crazy shit sometimes,” he backtracked.

I ignored him and finished getting dressed. The drive to my apartment was relatively silent and when we got to my apartment, Eric put a hand on my knee.

“Bye, Reese,” he said with such finality that I knew it was the end of us. I wasn’t particularly sad, mad or upset because I knew I had fucked up any chances with him anyway. But I know I am going to miss our sexcapades. Oh and riding through the city in a Bentley.

“Bye!” I sang and slammed his car door.

He sped off before making sure I got inside safely which was actually really rude.

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he might actually be done with me.

Eric still hadn’t called or texted me by the time Wednesday happy hour rolled around and I was becoming worried that he might actually be done with me. It had been an entire week since we’d last spoken and it was the longest we had gone without contact. I, of course, hadn’t reached out to him, but decided that once I got home from happy hour I would. 

I met Kendra at the restaurant and considered just ordering the one dollar oysters because being a drunk mess is what got me in the position I was in in the first place. But I ended up ordering a glass of wine and a pomegranate martini anyway. 

“How’s living with a man?” I asked immediately, so she wouldn’t start asking me questions about Eric. 

“It’s wonderful. I can’t believe we didn’t do this before. It’s really helpful having him around. He cooks a lot!” she answered.

“Don’t you ever want some alone time?”

“John is at the hospital a lot so we have plenty of time away from each other. I get so excited when he comes home.”

It was dim in the restaurant but it looked like Kendra was kind of blushing. Gross. 

“You sound like a puppy waiting for his owner to get home from work,” I said.

Kendra narrowed her eyes at me. “So how’s Eric? I haven’t heard about him in a while.”

I drained my glass of wine before answering. I considered lying and saying that Eric and I were great so Kendra didn’t scold me for potentially ruining things with yet another guy. 

“I haven’t heard from him since last Wednesday morning,” I blurted out. 

“Have you called him?” Kendra asked. 

“Well, no,” I started. 

“Why?”

“He always calls me. I never call him,” I said. 

“Exactly. See where’s that’s gotten you?” 

“I’ll call him later. I’m not even worried about it,” I said, sipping my martini.

Kendra started talking about work or something and my phone vibrated in my bag. I tried not to get excited thinking it was Eric because I knew it wasn’t. It turned out to be BJ, asking if I wanted a chai latte in the morning. BJ and I exchanged numbers on a strictly business basis, but he finds any reason to text me. And I hate to admit it, but I kind of like the attention. 

I texted back, “Obviously.”

Immediately, BJ wrote back, “Anything for my favorite boss.”

I finished another glass of wine then we headed home. The alcohol had made me loosen up, but I was still a little bit nervous about calling Eric. I literally never called him – unless I was drunk. 

I took a shower, blow dried my hair, brushed my teeth, flossed and then I called him.

I didn’t even have anything prepared to say, I expected us to just fall back into it when he answered. Except Eric didn’t pick up. I quickly hung up without leaving a message. At first I got mad, thinking he was ignoring me but then I realized that he said he was almost fully recovered from his injury. He was probably back at work, practicing and having games everyday. He was probably super busy. I decided to send him a quick text in case he wasn’t in a position to talk on the phone at the moment. 

“Hey, just checking in. Miss you!”

Satisfied, I popped in a movie and fell asleep. 

This morning I got to work and signed into my email and Pinterest and waited for my hot chai to be delivered to my office. BJ showed up right on time with my venti and a cake pop. 

“I thought you might be a little hungry this morning,” he said, perching on the edge of my desk.

“Thanks, Blow Job, but I really don’t need these empty calories this early,” I said. I quickly Googled the calories in a Starbucks cake pop and was happy to see that it only contained 140.

“What do we have on the agenda today?” BJ asked as I took a bite out of my cake pop.

“We have a meeting with a freelance graphic designer and then you guys are going to start on a new campaign this afternoon. It should be a fairly easy day.” I took another bite of the cake pop and BJ watched my lips intently.

“I like the way you eat that,” he said, biting down on his lower lip.

I felt heat rising up my neck to my face. Dammit, Blow Job!

I took the last bite of the cake pop and sucked on the stick for longer than necessary. BJ looked like he was going to explode in his pants.

“Knock knock,” we heard at the door.

BJ jumped off the side of my desk as Whitney stepped into my office. “Hey Reese. I have some things for you to look over.”

Whitney dropped a file folder on my desk and looked from me to BJ and back.

“Okay. I’ll get to those this afternoon,” I told her, smiling sweetly. 

“Awesome. Thanks, Reese!”

I followed Whitney to the door and watched as she walked out with BJ on her heels. Before he left, he tapped me lightly on the nose. He had no right to touch me so I slapped his hand away. He turned and smirked at me before going to his cubicle.

It wasn’t until this afternoon when I was reading through Whitney’s file, that I realized I never got a call or text back from Eric. 

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