Preston won one of those happy hours where the more people who come the cheaper the drinks will be on Wednesday evening. By 6:30, I was already drunk. Carly, Kendra and John were there along with some of Preston’s coworkers and clients. We hadn’t gotten enough people to get the drinks quite as cheap as I wanted so I needed more people to show up.
I was brainstorming people to invite when I got the bright idea of inviting Brady to happy hour! I quickly typed an iMessage letting him know where happy hour was and how long we planned on being there. I reread it a few times to make sure I spelled everything correctly and used enough puncuation (six exclamation points seemed adequate) and hit send. I waited a moment for his response and when it didn’t come, I tucked my phone in my purse and partied the rest of the night away.
He actually never texted me back.
On Thursday, I texted BJ on my way to work letting him know that I was hungover and needed something to cure it. He was waiting outside my office with a bacon and egg breakfast bagel and a parfait when I got there. I don’t know how he knew, but it was exactly what I needed.
“Jeez, you even look hungover,” he said, following me into my office.
“Fuck you,” I said. I snatched my breakfast from him and set up the feast on my desk.
“Kidding. You look hot as usual.”
I was too busy chewing a bite of the delicious, but carbatious sandwich to respond.
“What exciting things do you have planned for me today?” BJ asked, in a naughty sounding tone.
I finished chewing. “I have 3,500 new emails. I need you to immediately delete any that don’t concern me.”
“Ah, I get access to your email? I hope I uncover something good. Like your nudes.”
“That won’t happen,” I assured him.
“Damn. Maybe one day though.”
He smirked at me and I rolled my eyes. I got up so he could sit at my computer and I sat in a side chair checking Instagram and Facebook. While he worked on my emails it occurred to me that I hadn’t heard from Martin or Rob. I knew they were as busy as me, but I definitely thought I would’ve heard something (besides an invite for drinks) by now.
Once he finished with the emails, we walked down to the breakroom to raid the vending machine. It just so happens that Amanda and an ad teamer named Aron were already there, drinking mugs of coffee. I almost squealed with excitement. I love awkward situations when they don’t involve me.
“Maybe we should come back later,” BJ said, in a low voice.
“Nope. I really want a Gatorade,” I said. I didn’t, but I did want to see both of them squirm.
“Hey Amanda. Hey Aron,” I said.
They both said hey and Aron started asking me questions about the campaign they’re working on. I chatted with him for a moment while BJ leaned against the counter engrossed in his phone. Then I crossed the room to the vending machine and Amanda let out a shrill laugh.
“Aron! You’re so funny!” she exclaimed way too loudly.
He said something else and she screamed again. She put a hand on his chest and continued laughing obnoxiously.
God. Could she be any more desperate?
I got my Gatorade and walked back over to them. “What are you guys laughing about?”
Amanda looked taken aback, but quickly recovered and smiled. “Aron said something funny.”
Amanda poured the rest of her coffee out and practically ran out of there which made me feel kind of bad because obviously I scared her away. But not really.
Later that afternoon I had a meeting with the publisher of a local magazine who wanted to do a feature on our company. I decided to bring BJ along to take notes. It was nice to have a personal assistant and I’m going to ask Diana about hiring one for me full time. I think I deserve it.
Afterward, we stopped and got froyo which probably isn’t allowed, but whatever. I won’t tell if he won’t. BJ made fun of me for only getting almonds and blueberries on mine, but putting chocolate and gummy bears on it would just be irresponsible.
We ate our froyo on the way back to the office and BJ said, “Try this.”
I scoffed. “No. You have cereal and candy and shit in there. I’m an adult.”
He smirked. “It’s so good.”
BJ stopped on the sidewalk and backed me into a brick building. He scooped up a spoonful of his melting and dripping froyo and shoved it into my mouth. It annoyed me that it tasted so good. I wiped my chin where some of the froyo had dripped and took a few seconds to chew the Lucky Charms and gummy bears.
“It was okay,” I said.
BJ licked his lips and stared down at me for way too long without saying anything. He glanced down at my lips and lingered there for a moment then looked back up. I thought he was going to kiss me so I said, “Let’s go!” and walked a foot ahead of him all the way back to the office.
6 thoughts on “i deserve an assistant.”
Even though it’s totally inappropriate, I kinda love the sexual tension going on.
Curious….. is this blog real or fictional?
these are real events from my life.
yayyyyyyy. Just like my blog then! I love it!
Come on kiss him or something!!