no more jessicas.

On Monday morning I woke up much earlier than usual, went for a run, got ready for work, and stopped and got donuts for the whole office. I ended up getting four dozen and couldn’t carry them all so I made one of the workers carry it to the office for me (before you call me a lazy brat, just know that I gave him a generous tip).

I immediately started working away until around 1:30 then decided to take a break and grab something to eat. I found my phone at the bottom of my bag where I’d left it that morning and was surprised to see a new text message from Brady. It said, “Do you want to talk?”

I let out a happy sigh. Finally. Of course I wanted to talk. I sat there drafting about a thousand different responses before ultimately deciding on, “Okay.”

I waited to see what Brady would say back for ten minutes then threw my phone in my bag and headed out to lunch. 

I continued working all afternoon and didn’t hear from Brady again until around 4:00. He said, “Do you want to meet for dinner?”

I said, “Okay,” again.

He responded back with the name of a place near my apartment and suggested we meet at 7:30. I typed, “Okay,” one last time. He gave no indication about what he wanted to talk about – whether he wanted to work our issues out or end things in person – which concerned me. In an ideal world, we would meet up, he would apologize profusely about not telling me about Jessica, he would beg for my forgiveness and then present me with a $12,000 designer bag.

I stayed at the office until 6:30 then went home and changed into a dress and booties. I didn’t plan well and ended up showing up to the place at 7:45. I pulled out my phone to text Brady that I had finally arrived, but I saw him sitting in a booth near the door. He stood up as I approached with an unreadable look on his face and kissed me lightly on the cheek. We both sat down.

“I already ordered. Do you want a beer or anything?” he asked, really properly.

I shook my head. Brady was acting like we didn’t even know each other which made me get defensive. He had no right to be mad. All I broke was his phone. He broke my heart.

“Okay,” he said.

We sat there for a minute not saying anything. Finally Brady said, “Reese, I’m sorry.”

I raised my eyebrows and nodded like “Go on.”

“I wasn’t completely open with you about Jessica. I should have been upfront and told you exactly what happened. That’s all I can say. I won’t make any excuses.”

I nodded in agreement.

“You have every right to be angry that I didn’t tell you and that you had to find out on your own. Seeing you that upset because of me was hard to watch. I apologize for that.”

“What’s the story with you and her?” I demanded.

Brady looked kind of surprised at my question. “Just everything I told you. We began working together a few months ago and she was quite persistent from the beginning. I’m very busy at work so I couldn’t pay attention to her and I think she took that as a challenge…”

“And she just randomly offered you a blow job and you accepted.”

He started to blush furiously. “I mean, yeah.”

“But y’all didn’t have sex?”

“No. I ended things before they could go that far.”

I glared at him for a few minutes.

“Um,” for the first time ever I saw Brady struggling with what to say. “I don’t want to throw everything away because of this. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.”

I uncrossed my arms as I started to soften.

“Yeah…” I began, unsure of what to say. Have I mentioned how much I hate talking about my feelings? “I don’t either.”

“You don’t what?”

“Want to throw everything away.”

He looked relieved. “I’m glad we are on the same page.”

I smiled and nodded.

“Those two days I gave you to cool off made me realize how much I really do like you.”

I waited a full minute before saying, “Me too,” really quietly.

“So I would like to make this work. If you want to.”

“What is ‘this?'” I asked.

“Us. Our relationship.” Brady looked confused.

“We never defined our relationship. Except the night when Jessica confronted you about it which doesn’t even really count,” I said in an accusatory voice.

Brady was unfazed by what I said. “I mean, I introduced you to my parents. I told them you were my girlfriend…”

My heart jumped. “Oh.”

“Is that not what you want?”

“It is,” I said. I decided that I was going to have to stop playing coy and hiding my feelings. If I wanted this to work with Brady I had to be open too.

“Okay…”

“I’m not good with relationships,” I blurted out.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m just not. I’m stubborn and needy and possessive and I suck at expressing my feelings.”

“You’re expressing your feelings now,” Brady said.

I let out a deep breath. He was right – I was expressing myself and I had yet to spontaneously combust so maybe it was fine. I kept going.

“I may have some mild trust issues from my previous relationships and you can see how this doesn’t help.”

“That’s completely understandable. I’ve done nothing to give you any reason to trust me.”

Brady owning up to what he did seemed to make everything okay. Whenever my ex did something he wasn’t supposed to, he would reverse it and make it seem like it was somehow my fault.

“My ex-boyfriend kind of ruined me. Not that I was perfect from the beginning. But he did some really awful things,” I went on.

“I’m sorry,” Brady said, although I’m not sure what he was apologizing for. He looked at me kind of cautiously before asking, “What did he do?”

I didn’t expect Brady to ask for details so I had to take a moment to gather my thoughts. Normally, I would have blown his question off, but we were being honest and open. Plus I appreciated that he had the balls to ask.

“What didn’t he do?” I answered. “He had sex with other girls, made out with them in front of me at parties, told everyone on campus that I was a psycho.”

Just talking about it was making me grind my teeth. Why did I ever even put up with that shit? I was such a pathetic, needy little girl. 

“Yikes,” Brady said. “Worse than I thought.”

I nodded. We were silent for a moment then Brady said, “I guess I’m not really the best with relationships either.”

“How come?” I wanted to know.

“I realized that my parents aren’t like normal parents. They’re very…cold and disconnected. I mean, you met them. They aren’t affectionate at all so I never got that growing up.”

I nodded. “I can see that…” So I’m the only one who thinks his mother is a cold, unwelcoming little woman.

“Yeah. They don’t talk to us about anything personal. We never got a sex talk or anything like that. They only wanted to know what colleges we got into and our GPAs and things of that nature. Even now, they rarely say ‘I love you.’ So I think that has affected the way I am in relationships.”

Wow. His parents rarely tell him they love him? I can’t imagine. My parents send me random text messages throughout the day telling me how much they love me. I felt for him.

After our food came, things went back to normal for the most part. He told me about his weekend and he confirmed that he and John went on some sort of golf date on Saturday. He said that his phone was a complete goner so he ended up having to pay to get a new one. It almost made me feel bad, but not really because it taught him a valuable life lesson.

After Brady paid for dinner, we walked outside. Since the place was so close to my apartment, I’d walked, but Brady asked me to walk to his car with him. It didn’t seem weird at the time, but now that I’m thinking about it, it was kind of an odd request.

We got to his car and he opened the passenger door like he wanted me to get in, but the seat was filled with dozens of red, pink, white and yellow roses. There had to be a hundred there.

“I didn’t want to bring them in the restaurant, but I got you these,” Brady explained.

“Aww,” I cooed looking at him. “That’s so sweet.” It wasn’t the designer bag I was hoping for, but I was grateful for the gesture.

He shrugged sheepishly and I couldn’t help reaching over and hugging his adorable ass. Brady offered to carry the huge bouquet to my apartment and my doorman, Frank, said, “Someone must have been in the doghouse.”

I giggled at him calling Brady out. When we got up to my apartment, Brady put the flowers down and we stood there looking at each other. I invited him to sit down.

“So are we okay?” Brady asked me.

“I think so,” I said, nodding then I narrowed my eyes at him. “But don’t fucking hang out with her anymore.”

“I won’t. I didn’t plan on it.”

“Don’t even talk to her. Don’t go to lunch with her. Delete her number.”

“Of course,” Brady said.

I realized that I hadn’t apologized or fully owned up to my part of the fight yet and I needed to to make things right.

“I’m sorry I broke your phone,” I said and surprisingly saying the word “sorry” didn’t kill me.

“Don’t worry about it,” Brady said.

I swallowed, preparing myself to drop the Derrick bomb. “By the way, you remember my friend, Derrick, right? From my birthday?”

Brady nodded.

“Well, in college we like, kind of hooked up, but it wasn’t really a big deal. It only happened once, but he confessed that he still likes me on my birthday,” I babbled. 

Brady’s eyebrows shot up like he was surprised then he nodded slowly as if he was putting some puzzle pieces together and it was all making sense now.

“I guess I could have told you that a while ago,” I said.

“That would’ve been good to know.”

“Just like it would’ve been good to know about Jessie,” I said sweetly.

“Point taken.”

We sat in silence for a minute then Brady said, “So no more Derricks.”

And I said, “And no more Jessicas.”

We stayed up until almost 2:00 AM just talking and not having sex which I think we needed. 

So everything is settled, I think. 

Give me your thoughts.

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48 thoughts on “no more jessicas.

  1. Kristin says:

    I think that it’s good you talked and both owned up to some things. I also think it’s good that he made the first move to talk.
    One suggestion I have for you since you find it hard to talk about your feelings is to write them. I kind of have the opposite problem of you where I express so much at once it doesn’t really convey what I’m trying to say. I find if I write it out in an email, it’s much easier for him to get what I’m trying to say. My husband is more like you where he finds it very uncomfortable to talk about his feelings and clams up, so our arguments consist of me spewing all sorts of feelings that have nothing to do with the issue and him being mute. Just a suggestion, but it works for us. Plus when I’m feeling sad, I can always go back and read some of his really sweet responses and they make me feel better.

  2. I’m so happy for you two!! I can breathe a sigh of relief. I have been in that “we’re not speaking to each other, but I want to” phase before and it is never good. I am so glad that you also shared your feelings. I think it’ll really help both of you. I think my boyfriend is exactly like Brady as far as being raised in a house where everyone is cold and not expressive. Being hispanic everyone in my family hugs and kisses and says “I love you” ALL THE TIME. So it’s hard for me to understand how someone could not be that way, but I get it now. Anyway, YAAAYYYY for you guys!! I’m really glad you two are back together!

  3. Katy B says:

    Ah Reese! Great personal growth! 🙂 I’m so glad it went well! I never liked to say I’m sorry or wrong…but I find it easier to do with my husband because he doesn’t think about it as a win for him but rather that I am giving my best to him, by being honest to keep our relationship strong.

    So happy for you. 🙂

  4. Krista says:

    I find you blog entertaining but have doubts if this is completely real. First Brady was unwilling to have sex. You complained about it for a couple posts and then you go over and seduce Brady. He’s no longer insecure about sex and really good at it. Then Brady’s mom doesn’t like you but at the lunch/boat ride seemed affectionate towards Brady. Now all of a sudden he’s saying how his parents are cold and not affectionate? He’s bad at relationships because of his parents? That would make sense if they were divorced and he had to witness that but makes zero sense here. Third, Brady reaches out, apologizes ánd all is well. Seems way too convenient. You’re mad at him, not good with conversation but manage to do it quite. I think your writing what you think we want to read under the guise that it’s real. Further the comment about the 12k bad is extremely shallow. If you cared for him as much as you claim you wouldn’t even go there. What have you given Brady, sex not included, ever? I might be the only one but I don’t believe this story is real.

    • jenny says:

      Krista, I don’t understand your comment? Even if she giving the illusion that the blog is completely real, does it really matter if its fictilnal or not, while you did say you find it entertaining?

      • Krista says:

        Don’t pretend it’s completely realif it’s not. That’s my point. Either way we’ll read it. Just seems fake to me. Whatever the readers complain about exactly what’s fixed in subsequent posts. Regarding bag it’s always about materialistic things. Honestly it seems like I’m the only one not buying that this entire blog is real.

    • vsh says:

      I took the comment about the 12k bag as an offhanded comment, a joke, I don’t think Reese actually expected it!! That is why the blog is entertaining, little comments like that.

  5. Y says:

    This made my day. I was rooting for you two. I’m glad y’all handled that well and so proud of you for being mature. Keep it up and you’ll see that communication isn’t so bad and sometimes it’s okay to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Brady won major points for the roses. He’s a keeper. For now.

  6. Sarbear says:

    This made me smile a LOT. Sounds like you two really care about each other and are willing to try doing things a wee bit differently to make sure the other knows that 🙂

    Random aside on the Whitney thing: Even though I know it isn’t fun to reach out, especially to someone you don’t like, try setting up a daily appointment. She is supposed to be assisting you with your work, right? And keeps going around you with ideas you aren’t a fan of and making you look kinda bad at work? Set up a daily meeting at which you will go over her contributions. And whenever there is a company wide meeting, or simply one between you two and Diana, have an additional meeting with her directly before to see if she has anything she’d like to add to YOUR presentation. It might feel like capitulation to you, but it’s a total dominance move that will really help you out with having an effective work relationship and maybe even positive collaboration with her in the future.

    Anyway, that’s just what I would do. I don’t like being snuck around or dominated at all.

    Cheers to you!

  7. jenny says:

    Finally! So exciting! Good on you for telling him about derrick, and like another person said, keep up with the honesty and work on continuing to be open. It will only help you for the better

  8. Jamie says:

    Okay I’m sorry but this is completely unrealistic.. you acted absolutely insane and he bought you 100 roses? I never see you doing anything for anyone but yourself I’m so confused as to why Brady is falling for you.

    Is this blog actually real? ..

  9. Lulu says:

    Oh thank goodness. I’m really glad that Brady reached out to you and think that you really held your own and did a great job expressing yourself. Although what happened really sucked, in the long run, I think it was really good for you two to be more open with each other. From my experience, it can take shitty events like yours to truly establish a relationship. I’m really glad that you guys have defined your relationship and think that if you two can continue to be as open as you can, your relationship will be really solid.

    Very, very proud of you in the least creepy way possible lol 🙂

  10. Thanks for the update! Glad you both apologized for your mistakes. I really think you can whip Brady into shape & he will be a keeper. He already genuinely doesn’t want to hurt you. So sweet! Makes me sad he hasn’t gotten much affection from his family. You will have to make up for what he has missed.

    On a side note, I wish the haters would go away. This is my new favorite blog. I so look forward to new posts. Keep it up!!!

  11. Great! While I don’t think you had to tell him the Derrick thing (even though I said that it was a similar situation to the whole Jessica thing in another comment, it was different enough), but it’s great that you did because now it can’t come back to bite you! I’m glad you guys had this honest conversation and now it should be smooth sailing for the two of you 🙂

    I’ve been in relationships where there are ‘Jessicas.’ These girls are insecure, desperate, and I honestly think they LOVE the imaginary ‘I know something you don’t know’ chant they perform in their heads. The problem is, they don’t realize that they are objects of the PAST and they were also NEVER the girlfriend. And there’s a reason for that. Glad he agreed not to talk to her anymore!

    Great Post 🙂

    http://www.cranberryvodka9.blogspot.com/

  12. Jenna says:

    I really loved this post and how everything is finally settled… And I have to admit I love the shoes you wore to dinner. You have amazing taste in fashion :)…Oh one last thing. Ignore the annoying haters. They’re consistently reading and commenting because of curiosity or who knows maybe even jealousy and bored with their own lives!

  13. Amber says:

    I’m so proud of you for opening up, Reese! I’m glad you guys communicated and defined the relationship. This will make things a lot easier if you keep going on like this. Nice going!

  14. Smack says:

    This is probably the most mature thing you’ve done in this blog. I think at some point you should have apologized for going through his phone. And truthfully he should have brought that up because it was not cool. But in the end you handled this well. Good for you.

  15. Susy says:

    Both of you admitted what you did wrong and how the situation could have been dealt with better. Glad you both talked it out and the roses..how sweet.

  16. Bianca says:

    Reese, I am so proud of you. You did a great job. I know it was hard for you and I think it will become more natural over time. I hate talking about my feelings as well so I know how that can be. Its a process and starting is the hardest part. Way to go.

  17. Amy says:

    I am glad it worked out between you two. It’s amazing what can be accomplished when you really calmly talk it out! At least you can both understand each other better now. I liked the line where Brady said he felt so bad about how upset those pictures made you!!
    Thanks for sharing!

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