drunk bar bathroom lecture.

I didn’t hear from Brady all weekend. I don’t know if it was because I destroyed his phone or because we were really done. I was an emotional rollercoaster – one minute I was mad as fuck, then sad, then irritated, then horny, then mad again. I hate to admit that I actually wanted him to reach out to me and grovel and beg for my forgiveness. I am obviously upset about what happened with Jessica, but that doesn’t mean I want to be completely done with him. I like him, you know? Plus I left some valuable things at his house like a pair of sold out Louboutins and my Shiseido night cream. I kinda need those things back. 

On Saturday Preston wanted to go to brunch. I couldn’t wait to tell him what I found in Brady’s phone. I picked him up and we went to a place in Logan and got french toast and Bloody’s. I told him everything that happened, making sure to pause at the dramatic parts and letting it all sink in. Once I was finished with my story, Preston broke into laughter.

“Seriously, Reese? You flipped out on him over that?”

“Is that not reason enough?” I exclaimed.

“Baby love. All that happened before he even met you. Why do you think you have any right to get mad at him?”

“Because!” I paused. “He is still hanging out with her. He introduced me to her as ‘one of the nurses from the hospital’ not ‘the girl who sucked my dick while someone was in the next room dying.'”

Preston gave me a narrowed eyed look. “Didn’t you tell me that you hooked up with Derrick back in college? Did you tell Brady that when you introduced them?

“We didn’t really hook up. We dry humped and he ate me out for like five minutes.” 

BITCH,” Preston said loudly and the people next to us looked over. “You didn’t tell me that he ate your kitty cat.”

“We were drunk. That doesn’t even count.”

“Oh yes it does. You have no right to get mad at Brady when you basically did the same thing, you little whore.”

It’s totally different though, right? 

That evening, we got dressed up and went bar hopping with Kendra. Preston ordered us Bud Lights while I filled her in on the latest.

“So now I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to Brady since,” I concluded. Preston came back to our hightop table and I immediately sucked down half my beer.

“Here we go again,” Kendra rolled her eyes.

“But he probably just can’t call me because his phone is in pieces,” I pointed out.

“He and John actually went to the golf course today. So I’m guessing his phone must be working for them to be able to meet up.”

“Who went to the golf course?” I asked, confused.

“John and Brady,” Kendra said, like that was the most normal thing in the world.

Preston started cackling and clapping his hands together. “This is even juicier than I thought.”

I polished off my beer while letting it sink in. So Brady is deliberately not talking to me. Cool. Maybe we really are done. 

I sent Carly a quick text to get some insider information.

“Are you at Chris’s? Is Brady there?”

She replied, “Hiya babe! Yes I’m at Chris’s and yes Brady is here! You should come over!”

“What’s he doing?” I wanted to know.

“Umm, I don’t know. He’s upstairs. Is everything okay with you two?”

So Brady hadn’t told Carly or Chris what happened. I decided I was going to save that conversation for another time and I put my phone away. 

Since apparently I’m single, I decided I was going to have some fun. I dragged Preston and Kendra to the bar and ordered us shots. 

I started talking to this guy named Drew and his friend. Drew was a cute law student who seemed to be the perfect rebound. The five of us hung out by the bar for a while and I was actually really enjoying hanging out with Drew. He reminded me a lot of Derrick with his teasing sense of humor and desire to be touching me at all times.

He followed me around the bar and made sure that I always had a drink in my hand. It was fun for a few hours until I realized that I really just missed Brady. I wasn’t drunk enough to drunk dial him, but I was drunk enough to be upset and need to go to the bathroom to cry. I brought Kendra with me.

“God, Reese. Get your shit together,” she rolled her eyes.

“Kendra, you have no idea what it’s like,” I cried. “Not everyone can have a successful six year relationship like you.”

“You’re right, they can’t. And you will never have a relationship at all if you bottle up your emotions and then blow up like that.”

I sniffled. 

“You can’t just expect Brady to know what you’re thinking. You have to open up about your feelings.”

“Do you think this is my fault?” I asked.

“Nothing is ever your fault, Reese,” she said sarcastically. “Both of you need to communicate better. And I think you have trust issues. Why did you feel the need to go through his phone anyway?”

I shrugged. I didn’t go through his phone expecting to find out answers about Jessica. I just went through it because it was there.

“Do you think that maybe [ex-boyfriend whose name I refuse to say] kind of scarred you? Maybe he made it hard for you to trust men…”

I considered this. Kendra might be right. I was head over heels in love with my ex (for no reason really) and he did some awful things to me. Maybe I’m just expecting Brady to hurt me because that’s what’s happened in the past. I don’t know. 

I never thought a drunk bar bathroom lecture could be so insightful. She told me that if I wanted to make it work with Brady then we needed to have a serious talk, but I couldn’t expect him to do all the work. She said that I should call him (not at midnight while drunk though) and I told her I would think about it. 

We went home soon after that and I woke up really early on Sunday and went for a run. I know. Like who am I? I’m not sure how far I ran, but I ran for like forty five minutes straight. And it felt really good actually.

I spent most of the day cleaning, doing squats, thinking about donuts, and watching the Wolf of Wall Street (Leo is literally so perfect). I debated calling Brady a few times, but decided that if he wanted to talk he would’ve called me. And besides me breaking his phone, the whole fight is his fault. So it’s his job to contact me.

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57 thoughts on “drunk bar bathroom lecture.

  1. Daliza says:

    I still can’t believe he hasn’t reached out to you. I hope he’s just giving you time and space to cool off. Stay strong and I agree that he should be the first to call.

  2. beth says:

    Maybe I’m the only one but I don’t think Brady’s situation is the same as you as Derrick. It seems like your friends are siding with Brady instead of understanding your point of view. Kendra is right. You do need to communicate better and maybe you have insecurities because of your past. That said, it didn’t negate the fact that Brady still had naked pictures of Jessica on his phone and is around her on a regular basis.

      • beth says:

        In my opinion, it’s odd the he never deleted the naked pictures. Why keep them if you’re not interested? He continues to be around her whether it’s because of work or because they’re friends. If the tables were turned and Kendra were in your situation she’d be singing another tune. My mom always told me that whatever you accept in the beginning of a relationship is what you’ll get in years to come. You have to put your foot down and set boundaries.

        We’re all different. What might upset you in a relationship might not be a big deal for someone else. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong. Your feelings are justified and you need to do what’s best for you.

  3. I don’t think you’re being ridiculous at all. I would be livid if I were in your situation. You’re friends mean well and are trying to help you. You do need to talk about your feelings more instead of keeping everything bottled up. Preston is right that whatever Brady did in the past, before you got together should be off limits and vice versa. The problem is he still has naked pictures of Jessica on his phone and sees her on a regular basis at work. They are clearly friends and that makes me uncomfortable. Why keep pics of someone you’re not into? Something isn’t adding up for me.

    • Kelly says:

      The only counter I have to this is what others have already said – maybe he forgot the pictures were on his phone. If she messages him regularly, they would be saved up in his messages & he would have to go back & load those to his phone to even see them (at least on an iPhone). Maybe he would do that, but I’m thinking he probably wasn’t that interested & forgot they were there.

  4. Jenny says:

    I agree with your friends, and it seems like I disagree with the commentators thus far.You say miss him yet you are teasing another guy until you bored, you say you miss him but don’t see that you were both at fault, he needs to share more and you need to cool your jets, like Kendra said don’t keep things bottled up and then explode when it doesn’t go your way. You say you want to be a more rounded person, I would pick up the phone call him and apologize. You got angry when that baseball player called you a crazy chick, you need to apologize to Brady for being out of control.

  5. Olivia says:

    Jenny aren’t you the same poster that called Reese a horrible person and threw her lack of success in love in her face. Why should Reese call and apologize? Talking to a man at a bar equals teasing? But Brady having naked pictures of Jessica on his phone and hanging out with her is okay? Why are you bringing up the baseball player? He called her crazy because she would call him drunk and act irrational. This isn’t the case here. A more rounded person doesn’t mean letting someone walk over you because you miss them.

    • Jenny says:

      Being an adult and communicating does not mean you are being walked all over. They are both in the wrong, but Reese claims she misses him and she was falling for right before seeing the pictures. So why not be the person who hands out an olive branch? Is it better if the relationship broke off like that, and down the road Reese might regret not making a single phone call? Saying sorry is not the worst thing in the world and does not mean everything will be fine, but now Reese has bad karma for breaking someones phone.

      • Kelly says:

        Seriously? So because she misses him she should apologize? Being an adult means knowing your limits. Is it better if Reese puts up with crap because she misses a guy and was falling for him? I completely disagree with you. Maybe it’s better to end things than waste your time. Plenty of men out there and Reese deserves better. Bad karma for breaking someones phone? Does Brady have bad karma for being shady? You know why so many woman are in shitty relationships? Because they always give in and apologize and put up with inappropriate behavior. My man had naked pics on his phone but let me be the bigger person. Why can’t Brady be a man and reach out to Reese to clear the air? He acts like clueless but is shady as hell.

      • Jenny says:

        He really wasn’t acting shady, if anything he was acting clueless he really didn’t say much to be counted as shady. Let’s be honest guys sometimes take things differently while girls can over think things. You really took it a little far, in no way am I saying Reese would be a weak person that would lead to an emotional abuse. Sometimes you do need to let go to move forward. Also you might want to google what karma is, being shady does not directly harm others, while breaking ones personable item is direct harm leading to bad karma.

      • Kelly says:

        Jenny, where in my response did I say his emotional abuse? She shouldn’t have to accept crappy behavior because she misses him. So it isn’t shady when Jessica showed up at Reese’s birthday party venue or that he’s getting lunch with her or that he has naked pics of her on his phone. If that isn’t shady what is? Girls over think things? If your man had naked pics of a girl he works with and hangs out with, you’d be cool with that? I know what karma is. Being shady does directly harm a person, he knows Jessica is into him but is leading her on. … don’t you think when he realizes this she’ll be hurt? Then Reese found the pics, didn’t that harm her? Sometimes you do need to let go to move forward but not when sometime breaks your trust. It’s clear that you and I won’t agree on this.

      • Jenny says:

        You insinuated for abuse by saying “You know why so many woman are in shitty relationships? Because they always give in and apologize and put up with inappropriate behavior.” Reese should have said something from day 1, from the moment he introduced her as his girlfriend to Jessica. About Jessica showing up at the birthday party I think she was just being stalkerish, I would bet he said something along the “yeah i have plans with friends at (bars name)”.You are misunderstanding me, I don’t think its right that he still had those pictures on his phone, but if i were in Reese’s shoes, I would probably deleted that thread, then talk to him about Jessica makes her feel uncomfortable. I would not throw his phone because at the point it almost violent.
        Also I would really want my $600+ shoes, and if he ain’t calling, than I would for sure call to get those back.

      • Olivia says:

        I find it hard to believe that if any of us found naked pictures on our boyfriend’s phone we’d delete them and talk to him, instead of getting mad. I’d be furious. It seems like you’re placing more blame on Reese. Breaking the phone was violent? Reese or no woman should have to put up with behavior that makes her uncomfortable. Maybe you should stop trying to justify Brady’s antics and put yourself in Reese’s shoes. Even your response about deleting the thread and talking to your boyfriend about the pics if you were in that situation seems unrealistic. If Reese needs her stuff, carly can get them for her.

  6. J says:

    My boyfriend had naked pics of girls he hooked up with and some he didn’t when we first started dating .. after we made it official, he sat there and deleted every single one and told me exactly who he still talked to and who I would see out at the same parties, etc. I agree .. brady was being shady as hell. However, I still don’t think breaking his phone was cool. I understand getting furious and freaking out but that was maybe toeing the line a little too much.

  7. What do you make of John & Brady meeting up at the golf course? Do you think Brady was golfing with John to seek advice about Reese? They hit it off when they were all out, but they hadn’t hung out together before, right?

    • I don’t know how I feel about this at all. I think he hung out with John because he was bored not talking to me. and no, they’ve never hung out which is why I think it’s so bizarre and random.

  8. Y says:

    I think we’re all making assumptions about Brady based on little things we pick up here and there. While they all seem shady, there really could be explanations for them all. I don’t think Brady invited her to lunch or Reese’s birthday. However I do think he should have mentioned to Reese that something happened but he probably was embarrassed and maybe didn’t pick up on Reese’s feeling towards her and didn’t want to bring up the past. As far as the pictures on his phone, the are as far back as May, and if they weren’t saved on his phone it is very plausible that they disappeared from his messages and he forgot about them. Honestly from his responses and they way he acts around Jessica he doesn’t seem interested at all. I think that you should call him, not to apologize but to talk. He needs to know how you’re feeling and why you acted out. But I do think that if he explains himself, you should listen rationally whether or not you want to continue the relationship. And you certainly should apologize about his phone. Nothing can be done about is sure, but it was a rash decision and iPhones cost money and he has a right to be pissed about that. Same way you have a right to be pissed about Jessica. But nothing is going to change if you to don’t talk, whether to patch things up or to respectfully walk away

  9. Kaycee says:

    I seriously cannot get over how immature Reese is! I only read this blog to see how much of a train wreck she is. Basically every interaction with Eric shows this. Going through Brady’s phone shows how immature and insecure she is. They weren’t even exclusive, were they? Buying the car she bought on impulse instead of waiting for the more sensible choice to be available? Talk about needing instant gratification! Plus the way she handles every single work situation is so immature. She really, really needs to grow up.

    • Anna says:

      You’re being rude and critical for no reason. You’re not offering her advice, just putting her down. I guarantee you’re not perfect, so don’t pass judgement just because we don’t know the details of how you’ve fucked up in your life.

      • Kaycee says:

        Exactly, because I don’t write a blog where I call myself a “hot mess” and then complain when people point out what a mess I am. I’m sorry, but there is nothing constructive to say when she throws a temper tantrum like a spoiled 2 year old and breaks someone else’s property. My only advice is to grow up and I absolutely stand by it!

  10. From someone who has gone through the same thing and has looked through more phones than I care to remember, I don’t blame you at all. The thing with Derrick (I think) happened wayyyyy long ago,back in school, no? But she was sending him pics as recently as May? Not cool. Stand your ground, and be as strong as possible in terms of Brady. If he’s worth it, he will come back.

  11. Amanda says:

    Wow, first i have to say that I enjoy reading your blog. However this is some seriously some high school drama shit. In what situation is it ok to go through someones personal belongings. If the situation was reversed how would you feel about it. It is truly messed up that he has pictures of some skank, but can you honestly say that what you did is right. You destroyed his phone, getting upset about the naked pictures is valid but the way that you attained the information is wrong, shady and just plain fucked up.

    There is never a reason to snoop, I have been in a similar situation and i damn near decapitated him when he went through my phone. Yes it was wrong to have compromising pictures of different sexes, my reason being that they were pictures from my medical book. Brady has his reasons, if you guys are not exclusive then there is no reason to even get upset. If you are then you need to grow up and address the situation in a calm and direct manner.

    • lol from your medical book?! hardly the same thing. you’re right, I would kill him if he broke my phone. no doubt about that! and I thought we were exclusive obviously, which is why I got mad. I probably could’ve handled myself differently, but I didn’t.

  12. Lulu says:

    Stay strong! While I think you and Brady need to talk, don’t call him unless you want to. Like I had guessed, he’s obviously not over you or the situation because he hasn’t told Chris yet. This whole thing could still be really fresh, and he might not be ready to call. But you guys both have loose ends that do need to be tied eventually, so if he doesn’t call this week, maybe call him to apologize about breaking his phone (if you’re sorry haha), offer to see him, or just pick up your things.

    Hope you have a good day!

  13. Paula says:

    I guess I’m going against the flow but I think you should call him. You told him there was nothing he could do to fix this. He’s leaving you alone because that’s what you asked for. He definitely should have told you the truth about Jessica, but you can probably work it out if you talk to him.

  14. Amy says:

    I agree w the last two commentors. I know you broke the phone in a mad (justifiable) rage but that & snooping (in general) is worth an apology to Brady. You admitted you’d be mad if he broke your phone. I might still wait a few days to see if he reaches out first. However, I thought you were exclusive too, and I’d be ready to tell him your conditions of making it up to you. At least you have no doubt that he’s seen part of the true Reese! Not that your awful or anything ( I recall when he said you were laid back. Hehe) but he now knows what’s yours stays yours!! Until you decide otherwise. Lol!! Hopefully, it will all workout!

  15. M says:

    Tell Brady you got so mad because a skanky whore like jessica probably has the herp and now you both need tested. Just kidding (kind of). I don’t have any advice, I’d have probably just ugly cried. Good luck tonight! I’m sure you’ll handle things well!

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