I flew to Tennessee on Tuesday morning to meet Andrew for our mock store walk through. On my way to the store he let me know that he would be in later on in the afternoon so I was relieved to have some time to prepare and perfect the store.
Since I sent a detailed and specific email with what needed to be done I expected the store to only need a few final touches, but when I walked in I saw that almost nothing on my to-do list got completed. I was horrified.
“What happened?” I asked the manager.
“What do you mean?” she said back, looking confused.
“Did you just not want to do what I asked you to do?” I was trying to be as calm as I could, but I could feel myself about to explode.
“We’ve been really busy. We didn’t get to everything,” she explained.
I was so irritated. They obviously weren’t that busy because they didn’t even meet their sales projections. I pointed that out.
“We wanted to focus all our attention on selling so we didn’t want to get too wrapped up in those tasks,” she said which sounded like an excuse to me.
I wasn’t about to waste anymore time arguing with her and instead started tackling the list myself. By the time Andrew arrived later on that afternoon I was drenched in sweat from moving so much stuff around. I felt disgusting. He showed up with a tallish blonde girl and introduced her as “Tori,” a senior sales director who was getting promoted soon.
Tori was wearing a Dannijo statement necklace (I’ve been eyeing the same one), leggings and unnecessarily high booties. She was cute, but a little too fake smiley for me.
“So Reese, how was your weekend?” Andrew asked.
“It was good! I had fun. Thanks for asking,” I replied as cheerfully as I could.
“Yeah? I guess your guy did well?” Andrew continued.
I clasped my hands behind my back so he couldn’t see my bracelet. I feel like he would have found a way to make me feel like shit about it. Andrew seems like that boyfriend who would make you go change if he didn’t like your outfit for date night.
“He did, yes.”
Luckily (or unluckily I guess), Andrew started grilling me about business numbers after that.
“So last week your region was down nineteen percent, but the company was only down six percent. Any guesses why?” he asked me.
I obviously didn’t have an answer so he started calling out all the things he saw wrong in the store. All the things I hadn’t gotten a chance to get to, of course. He didn’t exactly yell at me, but definitely made me feel awful about it. After that we went to the office and Andrew grilled me on more stuff. I kind of feel like he was just trying to show off for Tori. I kept noticing him looking at her for approval. And possibly lust too. I think he has a crush on her.
On Wednesday morning, Andrew wanted the three of us to meet early (7:00 am) to have breakfast then go to the store for a few hours. I got up and got ready and went down to the lobby to meet them. I waited ten minutes then texted Andrew asking if we were still supposed to meet. He replied a few minutes later, “Yeah, I’ll be right down!”
Literally twenty minutes later, he and Tori came strolling in like they didn’t have a care in the world. Seriously?
“Heya Reese! Ready to grub?” he asked like it wasn’t a big deal.
I put on my fakest smile and nodded. So that began my hellish day of getting tag teamed by Andrew and Tori/watching them flirt like high schoolers. They both kept calling me out on stuff and I can’t even tell you how many times Tori said, “Yeah Reese, that’s definitely something you should’ve noticed.” Maybe I’m just being a hater bitch, but I couldn’t fucking stand her. Probably because Andrew was all over her and she was actually really funny.
Toward the end of the day when Tori was in the bathroom or something, Andrew was like, “Don’t you want to be more like her?”
What kind of question is that? She’s not Beyonce.
They left around 2:00; they were flying to New York together and my flight was later in the afternoon. Before they left Andrew clapped me on the shoulder and said, “I challenge you to do better from now on. Don’t let Tori come in here and show you up.”
What the fuck? As if he gave me a choice. His head was up her ass the entire visit.
Needless to say I was ready to go home and see my boyfriend. I called him as soon as I landed and told him I was coming over. It was probably my own fault for going over there in a horrible mood. Brady let me in and I immediately told him that I needed to vent. We sat on the couch and I started spilling all the details about my stupid trip.
I was only to the part where I was describing Tori when I noticed that Brady was looking down at his phone. Seriously?
“Are you kidding me?” I asked.
“Hmm?” Brady barely glanced up at me.
“What the fuck is on your phone that is so important?” I demanded, standing up.
Brady looked up at me, phone still perched in his hand.
“Seriously, that’s incredibly rude. I’m asking for ten minutes of your time, I don’t think that’s unreasonable.”
He started to apologize, but I cut him off. I started flipping out on him, telling him how inconsiderate he is and he looked at me like I had three heads.
“Stop fucking looking at me like that!”
Brady kept looking at me like I was crazy.
I rolled my eyes and started to grab my bag off the couch. I was going to go to his room and let my anger wear off naturally.
But Brady said, “Reese, I can’t do this.”
I was like, “Do what?”
“I can’t…be what you need right now.” He seemed to be struggling with what to say.
“Uhhh…okay?” I was genuinely confused, but felt my heart sinking. “Because you can’t stay off your phone for five minutes?”
Brady looked down and shook his head. We were both silent.
“Can you say something?” I asked.
“I can’t do this, I’m sorry,” he said, not looking up.
“You’re so lame,” I said because I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I couldn’t believe he was breaking up with me – because I yelled at him for being on his phone. I was livid. “This doesn’t surprise me at all, Brady. You’re such a fucking pussy.”
He finally looked up at me and he looked like he was going to cry. I didn’t care.
“Well, have a nice life then,” I said sarcastically and turned to leave. He didn’t stop me – not that I thought he would.
I got in my car and drove home and got increasingly more pissed about what happened. Brady is the one who messed up, not me. He should not have been on his phone! I feel like that’s not a lot to ask for.
I couldn’t sleep that night. I kind of thought Brady was going to call me and apologize and admit that he was being ridiculous. Clearly it was just a fight that spiraled out of control, right? But he didn’t.
On Thursday I worked from home, but obviously got no work done. I was pissed and annoyed with Brady for giving up on us and blaming everything on my “needs.” I drafted a long, mean text message letting him know what a coward he is, but I’m sure he already knows that so I didn’t send it.
After work I called Kendra and told her that I was coming over. She seemed annoyed and told me she already had plans with John.
“Brady dumped me,” I said dryly.
Kendra gasped. “Oh my gosh, what? Why?”
“Because he’s stupid. He thinks he can’t please me which is probably true. He’s so useless,” I said.
“Oh Reese,” Kendra said in a voice that told me I was being ridiculous.
“Honestly it’s fine. I’m over it. Have fun with John.” I hung up and refused to answer her calls or texts for the rest of the night.
Friday was rough. I missed Brady and it was starting to sink in that we were really over. It didn’t help that I had to run an errand near the hospital and for a very brief moment I got excited thinking I could go visit Brady at work. Then I was like oh yeah. I started to feel bad about being mean to him and also selfish because obviously he’s going through something right now. Should I apologize? Not that it’ll help now, but still.
Friday was also Kendra’s birthday and we had pre-existing plans to go barhopping. I obviously didn’t want to go, but waited until the last minute to tell Kendra that I wasn’t up for it. She was already drunk from dinner and would not take no for an answer.
“Reese, you have to come out! You need to take your mind off everything!”
I literally cried and said I wanted to stay home and sulk. But Kendra talked me into it and it was her birthday so I threw on white jeans, an oversized navy sweater, red lipstick and a pony.
I wouldn’t let any of the thirsty men at the bars buy me drinks. I’m an independent woman now and can fund my own alcohol addiction. Kendra, Carly, Preston and some of Kendra’s coworkers were there and I didn’t tell anyone else about getting dumped. By the time we got to the third bar, I was pretty much blacked out. I remember telling Kendra that I had to use the bathroom and she insisted on going with me. Probably to make sure I didn’t do anything rash.
I had a meltdown in the bathroom. I was really drunk, but I was also really sad. Plus I think I just wanted to cry (and I love crying in bar bathrooms, obv). Kendra was really sweet and babied me even though it was her birthday. Carly came to the bathroom and found us and seemed super confused as to why I was crying. I heard Kendra whisper, “Brady broke up with her.”
Carly gasped. “Are you serious? When? I just saw him earlier. He didn’t mention anything. He said you were fine!”
“How would he know?” I sobbed. What a liar.
“I’m so sorry, babe. Did he say why?” Carly asked.
I obviously didn’t answer that.
On Saturday morning I woke up in Kendra’s bed with the worst hangover. I hadn’t eaten much but I still felt like I was going to puke everywhere. Kendra would kill me if I vommed in her bed (again, oops) so I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour. Then I went home.
This is probably going to be surprising, but when I go through a heartbreak, I don’t eat my feelings. I work out. I just don’t want to turn into a fat slob – the best form of revenge is a good body right? So I threw on some shorts and a sports bra and killed it at the fitness center in my apartment. I even met a guy who lives in my building who gave me endless compliments so that was nice. Afterwards I went to Whole Foods and spent half my life savings on food that won’t make me fat (and a couple of bottles of wine).
That night Kendra had plans with John and I was not in the mood to socialize anyway so I stayed home and drank wine, pinned some recipes, and checked Brady’s Facebook a thousand times for any signs of life. He doesn’t ever use Facebook so there were no updates. I really wanted to know what he was up to though. Did he miss me? Was he bored? Did he regret everything?!
Later that night, I was laying on the couch reading reviews from the Fifty Shades movie (if you have a moment, do it. So entertaining) when I got a text message from Kendra.
It said, “John proposed.”
Holy shit. Wait, what? How? Didn’t they just get back together? Weren’t they supposed to wait until he was done with his residency or whatever? Most importantly, why didn’t he ask me for permission before proposing? The nerve.
I replied, “Excuse me, you typed that John proposed. It must have been a typo. What?”
I waited an agonizing hour for Kendra to respond. Then she said, “It’s true. I’ll call you in a bit. I’m so surprised!”
So he really did put a ring on it. So I cried. I cried for a few of reasons. 1. My best friend is engaged and I was happy for her. 2. My best friend is engaged and probably going to spend all of her free time planning her wedding/with her fiancé/not getting drunk with me and 3. I wanted to eventually get to text her, “Brady proposed,” but that will never happen.
So yeah. Kendra’s engaged now. I’m a little disappointed in John for not making sure all her family and friends were there to witness it, but Kendra said it was very sweet and romantic. Good for them.
Anyway, I really struggled with writing this. The conversation/fight Brady and I had on Wednesday night seems really, really ridiculous now. I wonder if he has looked back on it and thought the same thing. But we haven’t spoken at all since. Literally the last thing I said to him was, “Have a nice life.” At least it wasn’t “I hate you,” or “I hope you get cancer,” I guess? There’s no way we will never talk again though, right? I still have things at his place. Plus it’s like, we were/are in love. You can’t just turn that off.
I had a rough few days/weekend but I think I’m okay now. Also, I want to thank everyone for being so sweet to me on my last post. I probably shouldn’t have posted that knowing I was upset and volatile and everything. I do want to apologize to the commenter, Jia, for being so rude and nasty to her (even though she won’t be reading anymore). Like I said, I should not have posted that when I did. But thanks for the kind words everyone! Love y’all!!