you can’t just turn that off.

I flew to Tennessee on Tuesday morning to meet Andrew for our mock store walk through. On my way to the store he let me know that he would be in later on in the afternoon so I was relieved to have some time to prepare and perfect the store.

Since I sent a detailed and specific email with what needed to be done I expected the store to only need a few final touches, but when I walked in I saw that almost nothing on my to-do list got completed. I was horrified.

“What happened?” I asked the manager. 

“What do you mean?” she said back, looking confused.

“Did you just not want to do what I asked you to do?” I was trying to be as calm as I could, but I could feel myself about to explode.

“We’ve been really busy. We didn’t get to everything,” she explained.

I was so irritated. They obviously weren’t that busy because they didn’t even meet their sales projections. I pointed that out.

“We wanted to focus all our attention on selling so we didn’t want to get too wrapped up in those tasks,” she said which sounded like an excuse to me.

I wasn’t about to waste anymore time arguing with her and instead started tackling the list myself. By the time Andrew arrived later on that afternoon I was drenched in sweat from moving so much stuff around. I felt disgusting. He showed up with a tallish blonde girl and introduced her as “Tori,” a senior sales director who was getting promoted soon.

Tori was wearing a Dannijo statement necklace (I’ve been eyeing the same one), leggings and unnecessarily high booties. She was cute, but a little too fake smiley for me.

“So Reese, how was your weekend?” Andrew asked.

“It was good! I had fun. Thanks for asking,” I replied as cheerfully as I could.

“Yeah? I guess your guy did well?” Andrew continued.

I clasped my hands behind my back so he couldn’t see my bracelet. I feel like he would have found a way to make me feel like shit about it. Andrew seems like that boyfriend who would make you go change if he didn’t like your outfit for date night.

“He did, yes.”

Luckily (or unluckily I guess), Andrew started grilling me about business numbers after that.

“So last week your region was down nineteen percent, but the company was only down six percent. Any guesses why?” he asked me.

I obviously didn’t have an answer so he started calling out all the things he saw wrong in the store. All the things I hadn’t gotten a chance to get to, of course. He didn’t exactly yell at me, but definitely made me feel awful about it. After that we went to the office and Andrew grilled me on more stuff. I kind of feel like he was just trying to show off for Tori. I kept noticing him looking at her for approval. And possibly lust too. I think he has a crush on her.

On Wednesday morning, Andrew wanted the three of us to meet early (7:00 am) to have breakfast then go to the store for a few hours. I got up and got ready and went down to the lobby to meet them. I waited ten minutes then texted Andrew asking if we were still supposed to meet. He replied a few minutes later, “Yeah, I’ll be right down!”

Literally twenty minutes later, he and Tori came strolling in like they didn’t have a care in the world. Seriously? 

“Heya Reese! Ready to grub?” he asked like it wasn’t a big deal.

I put on my fakest smile and nodded. So that began my hellish day of getting tag teamed by Andrew and Tori/watching them flirt like high schoolers. They both kept calling me out on stuff and I can’t even tell you how many times Tori said, “Yeah Reese, that’s definitely something you should’ve noticed.” Maybe I’m just being a hater bitch, but I couldn’t fucking stand her. Probably because Andrew was all over her and she was actually really funny.

Toward the end of the day when Tori was in the bathroom or something, Andrew was like, “Don’t you want to be more like her?”

What kind of question is that? She’s not Beyonce. 

They left around 2:00; they were flying to New York together and my flight was later in the afternoon. Before they left Andrew clapped me on the shoulder and said, “I challenge you to do better from now on. Don’t let Tori come in here and show you up.”

What the fuck? As if he gave me a choice. His head was up her ass the entire visit. 

Needless to say I was ready to go home and see my boyfriend. I called him as soon as I landed and told him I was coming over. It was probably my own fault for going over there in a horrible mood. Brady let me in and I immediately told him that I needed to vent. We sat on the couch and I started spilling all the details about my stupid trip.

I was only to the part where I was describing Tori when I noticed that Brady was looking down at his phone. Seriously?

“Are you kidding me?” I asked.

“Hmm?” Brady barely glanced up at me. 

“What the fuck is on your phone that is so important?” I demanded, standing up.

Brady looked up at me, phone still perched in his hand.

“Seriously, that’s incredibly rude. I’m asking for ten minutes of your time, I don’t think that’s unreasonable.”

He started to apologize, but I cut him off. I started flipping out on him, telling him how inconsiderate he is and he looked at me like I had three heads.

“Stop fucking looking at me like that!”

Brady kept looking at me like I was crazy.

I rolled my eyes and started to grab my bag off the couch. I was going to go to his room and let my anger wear off naturally.

But Brady said, “Reese, I can’t do this.”

I was like, “Do what?”

“I can’t…be what you need right now.” He seemed to be struggling with what to say.

“Uhhh…okay?” I was genuinely confused, but felt my heart sinking. “Because you can’t stay off your phone for five minutes?”

Brady looked down and shook his head. We were both silent.

“Can you say something?” I asked. 

“I can’t do this, I’m sorry,” he said, not looking up.

“You’re so lame,” I said because I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I couldn’t believe he was breaking up with me – because I yelled at him for being on his phone. I was livid. “This doesn’t surprise me at all, Brady. You’re such a fucking pussy.”

He finally looked up at me and he looked like he was going to cry. I didn’t care.

“Well, have a nice life then,” I said sarcastically and turned to leave. He didn’t stop me – not that I thought he would.

I got in my car and drove home and got increasingly more pissed about what happened. Brady is the one who messed up, not me. He should not have been on his phone! I feel like that’s not a lot to ask for.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I kind of thought Brady was going to call me and apologize and admit that he was being ridiculous. Clearly it was just a fight that spiraled out of control, right? But he didn’t. 

On Thursday I worked from home, but obviously got no work done. I was pissed and annoyed with Brady for giving up on us and blaming everything on my “needs.” I drafted a long, mean text message letting him know what a coward he is, but I’m sure he already knows that so I didn’t send it.

After work I called Kendra and told her that I was coming over. She seemed annoyed and told me she already had plans with John.

“Brady dumped me,” I said dryly.

Kendra gasped. “Oh my gosh, what? Why?”

“Because he’s stupid. He thinks he can’t please me which is probably true. He’s so useless,” I said.

“Oh Reese,” Kendra said in a voice that told me I was being ridiculous.

“Honestly it’s fine. I’m over it. Have fun with John.” I hung up and refused to answer her calls or texts for the rest of the night.

Friday was rough. I missed Brady and it was starting to sink in that we were really over. It didn’t help that I had to run an errand near the hospital and for a very brief moment I got excited thinking I could go visit Brady at work. Then I was like oh yeah. I started to feel bad about being mean to him and also selfish because obviously he’s going through something right now. Should I apologize? Not that it’ll help now, but still. 

Friday was also Kendra’s birthday and we had pre-existing plans to go barhopping. I obviously didn’t want to go, but waited until the last minute to tell Kendra that I wasn’t up for it. She was already drunk from dinner and would not take no for an answer.

“Reese, you have to come out! You need to take your mind off everything!”

I literally cried and said I wanted to stay home and sulk. But Kendra talked me into it and it was her birthday so I threw on white jeans, an oversized navy sweater, red lipstick and a pony. 

I wouldn’t let any of the thirsty men at the bars buy me drinks. I’m an independent woman now and can fund my own alcohol addiction. Kendra, Carly, Preston and some of Kendra’s coworkers were there and I didn’t tell anyone else about getting dumped. By the time we got to the third bar, I was pretty much blacked out. I remember telling Kendra that I had to use the bathroom and she insisted on going with me. Probably to make sure I didn’t do anything rash.

I had a meltdown in the bathroom. I was really drunk, but I was also really sad. Plus I think I just wanted to cry (and I love crying in bar bathrooms, obv). Kendra was really sweet and babied me even though it was her birthday. Carly came to the bathroom and found us and seemed super confused as to why I was crying. I heard Kendra whisper, “Brady broke up with her.”

Carly gasped. “Are you serious? When? I just saw him earlier. He didn’t mention anything. He said you were fine!”

“How would he know?” I sobbed. What a liar.

“I’m so sorry, babe. Did he say why?” Carly asked.

I obviously didn’t answer that.

On Saturday morning I woke up in Kendra’s bed with the worst hangover. I hadn’t eaten much but I still felt like I was going to puke everywhere. Kendra would kill me if I vommed in her bed (again, oops) so I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour. Then I went home.

This is probably going to be surprising, but when I go through a heartbreak, I don’t eat my feelings. I work out. I just don’t want to turn into a fat slob – the best form of revenge is a good body right? So I threw on some shorts and a sports bra and killed it at the fitness center in my apartment. I even met a guy who lives in my building who gave me endless compliments so that was nice. Afterwards I went to Whole Foods and spent half my life savings on food that won’t make me fat (and a couple of bottles of wine).

That night Kendra had plans with John and I was not in the mood to socialize anyway so I stayed home and drank wine, pinned some recipes, and checked Brady’s Facebook a thousand times for any signs of life. He doesn’t ever use Facebook so there were no updates. I really wanted to know what he was up to though. Did he miss me? Was he bored? Did he regret everything?!

Later that night, I was laying on the couch reading reviews from the Fifty Shades movie (if you have a moment, do it. So entertaining) when I got a text message from Kendra.

It said, “John proposed.”

Holy shit. Wait, what? How? Didn’t they just get back together? Weren’t they supposed to wait until he was done with his residency or whatever? Most importantly, why didn’t he ask me for permission before proposing? The nerve.

I replied, “Excuse me, you typed that John proposed. It must have been a typo. What?”

I waited an agonizing hour for Kendra to respond. Then she said, “It’s true. I’ll call you in a bit. I’m so surprised!”

So he really did put a ring on it. So I cried. I cried for a few of reasons. 1. My best friend is engaged and I was happy for her. 2. My best friend is engaged and probably going to spend all of her free time planning her wedding/with her fiancé/not getting drunk with me and 3. I wanted to eventually get to text her, “Brady proposed,” but that will never happen.

So yeah. Kendra’s engaged now. I’m a little disappointed in John for not making sure all her family and friends were there to witness it, but Kendra said it was very sweet and romantic. Good for them.

Anyway, I really struggled with writing this. The conversation/fight Brady and I had on Wednesday night seems really, really ridiculous now. I wonder if he has looked back on it and thought the same thing. But we haven’t spoken at all since. Literally the last thing I said to him was, “Have a nice life.” At least it wasn’t “I hate you,” or “I hope you get cancer,” I guess? There’s no way we will never talk again though, right? I still have things at his place. Plus it’s like, we were/are in love. You can’t just turn that off.

I had a rough few days/weekend but I think I’m okay now. Also, I want to thank everyone for being so sweet to me on my last post. I probably shouldn’t have posted that knowing I was upset and volatile and everything. I do want to apologize to the commenter, Jia, for being so rude and nasty to her (even though she won’t be reading anymore). Like I said, I should not have posted that when I did. But thanks for the kind words everyone! Love y’all!!

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101 thoughts on “you can’t just turn that off.

  1. So sad! Maybe you should reach out on the pretext of picking up your stuff. If he tells you to come when he’s home then you’ll know he wants to see you too. Or you could just call him if you feel like you want to fight for the relationship.

    Also I laughed so hard at “What kind of question is that? She’s not Beyoncé.” Too good.

  2. Sara says:

    I think it is worth a shot to reach out to Brady. All he can do is say no, but maybe with a few days to reflect, he will have calmed down. He might be too afraid to reach out to you since he was so abrupt. You two seemed to have a lot going for you, IMHO, anyway.

  3. megg says:

    My heart aches for you. Honestly, I think you should remain quiet and let him approach you. If he doesn’t, then send a text asking him to box up your things, and have Carly grab them for you. I’m soooo pissed at how he handled this. Total piece of shit cop out. Stay strong. You’re amazing 💚💚💚💚💚

  4. Luita says:

    Wow I can’t believe that is how he broke up with you. I don’t think its too much to ask for someone to listen to you when you talk! That seems so out of character for him? Or is he really just a coward? He must just be so stressed out with work, maybe his brother situation? I’m so confused. I would need more closure than that. But you were the one in the relationship so you would know better.
    I admire your strenght. Do you girl!

  5. Arianna says:

    I’m so sorry doll. I don’t what’s going on with brady but something seems off. It’s not the first time he’s been paying more attention to his phone than what you’re saying. I think his excuse for breaking up with you is a total cop out. I agree with Megg. Give him a few more days to reach out to you and if he doesn’t have Carly retrieve your things. Having had my heart broken in the past, I totally feel for you. My advice is to get out and do things to take your mind off brady. I know it’s easier said than done. You’re a strong, fabulous woman and will get through this.

  6. Lyvie says:

    Reese, your blog resonates with and it’s scary how much I can relate. My boyfriend of 3.5 years moved away to finish his PhD 3 weeks ago and things seemed so hopeful and wonderful before he left. Out of no where via text he wrote “I don’t think I can keep doing this, it’s too hard.” He said he still loved me and missed me and only wanted me in the end. But unfortunately he said can’t focus on me and return to the piles and piles of work he has for the next 2 years. Prior to this he told me he felt bad he wasn’t around to protect me and keep me safe. We are an ocean apart. He officially broke up with me on valentines day via FaceTime (after sending me flowers…ugh). I was devastated and still am. We haven’t spoken in over a week. My last words were, ” you ruined us, I hope you never love again.” It was awful, but like you, I was angry and thought what a coward! It’s hard so he gives up!?!My mother always said part of a mans identity and worth is based on his job and what he can provide (even though we can take care of ourselves). Right now he can’t do either for me. Maybe that’s how Brady feels too. He hates his job and is so lost and not present in the relationship. It is so sad because all we want to do is help. I would do anything for my love, but he gave up and it hurts (like someone punched me in the stomach). So know you are not alone and sometimes it doesn’t make sense. I feel like when they have their own shit figured out they will return. It’s just so awful not knowing and waiting. I can admit to checking fb a 1000x. As much as I’d like to forget my bf/ex I can’t help but miss him and hope he comes around. Hugs.

    • jeeze! that’s terrible & even though I get it, it seems so cowardly of them to bail like that. so suddenly and such a lame excuse. but, if the guy returns and that’s what you want (or Reese) then I’d be happy for you guys! I wish you the best too 🙂 Keep smiling, keep loving!

    • oh my gosh, i’m so sorry. I can feel your pain from just reading this. it sounds like there is hope for you guys when he finishes and/or comes back and i think once he’s less stressed he will come back to you. don’t worry. best of luck girl!

  7. wait, wait, wait. i’m sorry, but wtf? i’m usually the super sweet commenter, i know, but i’m just not down for this party. i don’t understand. how could he just break up with you like that…”i can’t be what you need right now…” really? that’s it. & then he let’s you walk out and hasn’t reached out yet? nah, I need more than that. i’m going to need him to balls up and explain himself or something! sure, he may have things going on & i understand that, but that’s what he should have said. he’s a grown a$$ man! idk why, but i couldn’t take the sweet route on this one; i’m actually super annoyed! (crazy because this isn’t my relationship, but i feel invested lol!).

    to be honest, and no offense because I freaking love you in this, but I just knew that somehow you were going to be the one that started a fight or called it off or something. i just don’t appreciate this resolution. Brady, you gotta give it to me better than that bro! Anyway, I’m proud of the way you handled yourself and hopefully we can come to a better resolution than this. hell, if you guys get back together that’d even be great. keep your head up love, you’ll be fine 🙂 Even if it doesn’t seem that way right now! Yay for Kendra! –i think? Andrew still sucks, lol. & lmbo at “hater b*tch” and “she’s not beyonce.”

    *sigh*

    ❤ ❤

    • lol you’re hilarious. and totally right! i was/am so annoyed too which is why i refuse to call him. this is his fault! he needs to man up for sure and not blame this on me.

  8. Aww, hun 😦
    I say don’t reach out to him. What he did seemed really uncalled for and unusual.. You’re on the right track tho. Focus on yourself babe. That’s the best thing to do right now. What’s meant to be, will be. Pouch sends his love.

    Chris

  9. Elle says:

    I’m prepared for your little minions to defend you, but a bunch of us have tried to warn you and our predictions have happened. Yes he is closed off, but you have been just as much to blame in communicating.

    1. The first time he used his phone while you were talking (2-3 posts ago), you should of said nicely that you don’t appreciate it, not like now when you exploded.
    2. You never really showed concern (to us, at least) about how his brother is seriously missing. You really just chose to compare your family to his.
    3. The drinking and the sex, to me it seemed your relationship with Brady was just one long one night stand that never left. There was no depth to your relationship.

    I know this sucks, but hopefully you will learn for your mistake for the future…

    • Luita says:

      Can I just ask you one thing? Why do people spell it should of? It’s should’ve because you are trying to say should have, right? English is my second language so this is an honest question.

    • megg says:

      No depth? Your list of reasons has no depth. And yes, I am going to defend her, because people like you suck ass. She has been trying. She isn’t perfect, but she never stopped putting in effort to better herself and their relationship. She’s the one that brought up Hunter and wanted Brady to put more effort into contacting/connecting with him. No one is perfect, but she tried…more times than not.

      • Elle says:

        No you should never write “should of” that is not proper written English, and it was my mistake to write it out. It should always be “should have”. Yeah I was a little harsh, but sorry kissing Reese’s ass is not going to help her. Saying how “He sucks” and “How he’s immature for acting this way”, will not help her change. There are two sides to every story, and in reality we don’t know Brady’s story. So maybe people “like me, suck ass” but people like you are just liars, or just live on cloud 9…or something.

    • Liya says:

      Although I do think Elle was a little harsh in what she said (the one long one night stand thing was uncalled for), I do think that she has some validity to what she said. Yes, you were frustrated about the phone thing and pissed off from the trip, but we’re not children-you don’t just get a free pass to act mean to your boyfriend and expect him to be like “sorry, yes babe, you’re so right”… especially when you tend to act out and just expect him to put up with it a LOT of the time (often when you’re drunk). You know he’s going through a lot already (and not just a minor hiccup at work, the idea that he doesn’t enjoy his entire career) and you yelled at him because out of all the times he is there for you, he wasn’t there this time? Not cool. I’m completely cool with us, as women, sticking up for each other and comforting each other, but… I think you’re in the wrong here and I don’t think you should keep thinking it’s okay to act childish when you don’t get your way, you need to consider how Brady is acting.

      Also, I’ve read in some of your replies on this post’s comments how you’re “too stubborn” to fight for Brady. If that’s true, you don’t love him like you say you do. You were in the wrong here and if you care about him and are as devastated as you say you are, you should be fighting for him. Yes, it is depressing that he ended it that simply, but maybe he’s been struggling with if he should break up with you or not for a while, and you made him feel like he has no choice but to end it… for his own happiness.

      • i do agree that my actions were childish and that’s something i’ve been working on forever. i’m not going to reach out to brady because like a lot of people said, he’s stressed and going through a lot. i’m not going to force him to be with me or talk me to me if i’m an added stressor. so if he decides that he can handle his life and me, he’ll reach out.

    • my little minions? whatever. anyway. 1. totally. definitely a situation i can learn from. 2. maybe i could have been more compassionate about his brother but i was plenty concerned. what was i supposed to do when he wanted to take no action to fix it and frequently changed the subject? 3. i disagree and that was kind of hurtful. your relationships don’t involve drinking and sex? i feel bad for you.

      • Elle says:

        Sorry that came off harsh and hurtful, but the way you write really just shows that nothing is solved, no communication, nothing but sex, drinking, you throwing tantrums. So guess what, that was his version of throwing a tantrum.

        And you can try to joke or tease or whatever you want. Unlike you, I got my proposal during the summer 🙂

      • okay i see what you’re trying to do… but still, if your relationship doesn’t involve sex and drinking then i feel bad for you. why do you think i put our entire relationship on this blog? obviously we talked about way more stuff than i put here. i only include stuff that is exciting and/or might be useful to understand situations. so yeah, not going to include every boring conversation we had. good luck with your fiance, ring, wedding and life girl!

      • Elle says:

        I understand not involving every ‘boring’ conversation, but I hope that you also understand that this is why some of us come off as rough or harsh. And trust me when I say communication is key in relationships. Trust, loyalty and respect will follow. Before I got engaged I was in a long distance relationship for three years. I didn’t study what he did, so like you I knew nothing about the topic/his work. But come on, you can’t be that girl that says “he’s immature, needs to grow balls, its on him to contact me”. Brady wasn’t abusive, and he treated you better than most men treat their loved ones. I say go contact him for your thinks, and write him a letter. An honest letter explaining where you know you’ve done wrong, and that will be your closure.

      • how did you come to the conclusion that he treated me better than most men? and i’m not going to write a letter to my one night stand, sorry.

      • bella says:

        I feel for you Reese !!! xxxx
        I get it, you kind of want him to reach out to show that he cares about the relationship, or that he has it in him to fight. We know you do, and to be honest I agree that you shouldn’t have to reach out, because now it’s his turn to do that. That’s just my opinion. AND drinking and sex is essential for me haha. I do think he will eventually come around, not sure how long until it happens but I’m convinced he will. Keep your chin up 🙂 You are amazing and it’s true (like everyone has said), you will be just fine!!!

    • D says:

      regardless of whether I agree with you or not (I don’t), calling Reese out right now is just plain mean. Girl is clearly hurting and you’re just attacking her.
      Reese did express annoyance with Brady about his phone use while she was talking and she did bring up Hunter to Brady at least a couple times that she mentioned and did express concern. Also, you aren’t a part of Reese and Brady’s relationship, so it’s totally unfair to judge and say that it was a “long one night stand”. There’s a lot of the relationship that we don’t hear about from Reese, so there’s much more depth, we just don’t know about it.
      And like Megg said, Reese is always putting in an effort to better herself and grow, so don’t be an ass.

      • D says:

        Actually let me clarify what I’m saying up here. There’s obviously more depth to Reese and Brady’s relationship, you don’t know all of it. We just know the parts Reese chooses to share with us.
        (I realized saying we just don’t know about it was a poor choice of words)

  10. Melpod says:

    Wow. Saying I told you so makes you look like an ass. What does it solve? How does it help? Nothing is perfect in a relationship. Nothing and no one. You cannot tell her how should behave when you don’t know Brady as well as she does. This has nothing to do with me defending Reese, but really she already wrote in the post that she knew she wasn’t the easier girlfriend to handle. Reminding someone of their errors when they clearly already know IS pushing someone when they are down.

  11. Drishti says:

    Me and my boyfriend broke up over the weekend, with kinda the same story. I was upset and really wanted to vent over something and he out rightly ignored me and on top of that, he was rude to me. I get it we all have a busy life, but taking out 10 minutes shouldn’t be difficult. And then he said that I’m being dramatic. He said he wish he would’ve met me at a different time in his life when he was more emotionally stable. And now we are on a BREAK, and we all know what that means. I literally had tears while reading this post. I hope he does get back to you, and wish the same for me as well. Take care 🙂

    • oh my gosh, i can’t believe that happened to you too. i’m so sorry girl! as cliche as this sounds, i truly believe what is meant to be, will be. so hopefully that means he comes back, but if not you’re going to find someone else who is wonderful! 🙂

      • Drishti says:

        Oh he did call, to say that I’m not in such a place in life right now to give so much in a relationship and its not fair on you. I can’t give you what you want and all that shit.. Oh and he wants to stay friends coz he doesn’t wish to be THAT asshole. I feel like such an idiot right now. I just don’t know if I should wait for him or not.
        I hope you are doing well with all this. I’m gonna take your advise and work on my body now!

  12. Amber says:

    Honestly, from a reader’s perspective (I can’t pretend to know all the details of your relationship), you guys weren’t great together anyways. The communication was bad, problems were resolved with sex, there were many times where Brady had to deal with crazy shit, he was sometimes dishonest… Just not good. I see how you think it’s ridiculous for him to break up over you getting pissed that he wasn’t listening. (And honestly, not cool of him to do that. My psycho ex used to do it too and it really irked me.) But really, that’s not why he broke up with you. He broke up with you because you guys had so many issues and it put too much strain on him. This yelling spree was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Good on you for not calling him back, I think. Work out, be a better you, and most of all, reflect on how you can improve for your next relationship. Best of luck!

  13. Y says:

    Hey! I’m so sorry doll. I’ve read everything other commentators have said and I really don’t know what’s true or not or why he broke up with you. But What I do know is that after all these months the least he could do was give you an explanation. His reaction was out of nowhere after the weekend y’all has and whether he’s frustrated/stresses is not an excuse. No one is forcing him to be with you but he should respect that you need closure and give it to you. Also heard a few people mention that he’s stressed at work and that’s probably why. One of the best advice I’ve received is that being stressed at work isn’t a good reason to end a relationship. Work is work and your personal life is another. At everyone point in life we all face challenges at work and the point of relationships is to help you get through the, So stress is not an excuse to me. He should have talked to you, deserve more. You can’t know what he’s thinking/feeling/going through if he wouldn’t tell you. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Stay strong. I do agree that you shouldn’t reach out to him. The ball is in his court now for a reconciliation/explanation. If he doesn’t he’s a coward and you’re better off without him. Being bad at communication isn’t an excise. Some conversations need to be had.

    P.S- What are you going to do about your living situation? I remember you had to let them know on the 1st that you were leaving.

    You must be overwhelmed. I’m so sorry. Keep your head up and try to distract yourself. Maybe focus all your energy on helping Kendra with the wedding ❤

    • yeah, he should have explained more, but that is exactly how he is. he is afraid to communicate and i have to pry stuff out of him. so really, i’m not surprised that he did this. i haven’t even thought about what i’m going to do about my apartment but i need to figure it out. i’ll probably see if i can still re-sign my lease here, i don’t know. thank you!

  14. courtney says:

    reach out to him girl!!! hes probably missing you just as much, and most likely, regretting it!!
    you guys were amazing together, bad times included…. cant get all of the good without experiencing some of the bad.

  15. D says:

    I’m actually a little sad… I think I was a little invested in your relationship with Brady 😦 ….This was a cop out on Brady’s part… Totally from left field… Things seemed so great, so I literally don’t know where that came from. There definitely needs to be more than he’s sharing. He needs to grow a pair, man up, and reach out to you about this. Stay strong girl, we’re rooting for you.

  16. Luita says:

    That was such a stupid way to break up that o wouldn’t reach out to him. Sure no one is perfect at least Reese tried to fix her errors. Don’t make it easy for Brady really values you then he needs to make some changes also. If he doesn’t come to you, oh well then it wasn’t meant to be.
    Focus on work, I’m kind of mad about the manager in Tennessee you should see if you could fly out there again to see what they can improve to make more sales. That store is a reflection of you so I would try to improve it. Unless you took care of all that while you were there.

    • i got a lot of the work done in tenn. but maybe i should see about going back. andrew usually sends me a schedule of where i’m traveling to but i’m sure he won’t mind me wanting to change stuff.

  17. Amber says:

    Oh my gosh Reese! I am so upset for you. Brady is an idiot to let you go and really so lame to break up with you like that. You deserved more than what he gave you – I would not reach out to him either. He needs to make the effort and if he doesn’t it is his loss!! You are too great of a person to be treated like that! I know you had your faults in the relationship too, but for him to end it without anything but a lame explanation is terrible!! Keep your head up!! Sending you lots of love! Everything happens for a reason!! After my ex and I (together for 3 years) broke up, I met my husband 4 months later and we were engaged after 6 months of dating! You will find the right person for you – someone who appreciates your kind spirit, loving heart and all of your funny and spontaneous moments!!

  18. Ann says:

    Hey Reese!! I understand how you feel. I was with someone for 2 years and we broke up just as abruptly. We went from talking every day to absolutely nothing, it was the worst thing ever. I know its feels awful and even though this doesn’t help right now, it does get better eventually. Reaching out to him may not help because you probably won’t get the answers you want/need. What helped me the most was drafting long emails where I basically told him everything I was feeling…then deleting them obvi. As several people already stated, Brady is an idiot and should have had more class and respect for you than to end it that way. Keep your head up!!

  19. Ashley says:

    Now that I know the story, I think I’m more shocked that it wasn’t more of a big blowout. You got upset (rightfully so), then ranted (maybe too much) but then he basically pulls a Berger (from SATC) and says he can’t do this. You then get mad and defensive, and leave. (Not hating on that; I hate confrontation and get defensive when my heart is breaking too.) And…that’s it??? I mean, really??? That’s it. You were together for like seven months. I can’t believe nothing was really talked about. I feel like I would need more of an explanation. I get not wanting to reach out to him, but still.

    • you know, i’m really not surprised at all that brady did this and we haven’t talked about it – that’s how our relationship was. we both really suck at talking about things so yep, this is about right.

      • Ashley says:

        I suppose when you put it that way, I understand more. You guys always did struggle with communication. Still sucks, though. When you guys were good, you were really good.

  20. Amber says:

    It looks like you have gotten some good advice already and even though I already posted, just wanted to add that when my ex and I broke up after 3 years, it helped me realize the things that were important to me in a relationship and things I needed to work on too. Although I am sort of still holding out hope that Brady will make a turn around, if nothing else I am sure you can take some positive things from the relationship to build on your next one! I really feel like good things will come your way and true love will find you!! You really seem like an awesome girl and whoever you end up with should feel so lucky to be with you!

  21. I haven’t read any of the other comments. I’ll just say that I’m sad for you that this happened. It sounds like both of you were going through your own things and neither of you had the patience or willingness at that moment to talk things out. Honestly, sometimes we all need a little cooling period and then can see the things we did wrong. We didn’t listen, we spoke in anger, we lashed out without thinking of the consequences, etc. We’ve all been there and done that. From what you’ve been writing lately, it sounds like Brady is under a lot of stress and frustration regarding work and some big decisions he may have to make soon. Men are often not good at expressing their feelings, they hold them in until they explode. You yelling at him maybe made him feel like you have no compassion for how he feels. i get that you were mad that he was on his phone. You overreacted, and that happens. I don’t know you or Brady, but from what you’ve shared, it sounds like you two really love each other, so I hope that you’re able to talk things out. It’s never too late. If you two both realize that you’re not getting what you need from the other, then at least you know you broke up for that reason and not over some silly argument. Good luck, Reese! Look forward to your next post.

  22. Sarah says:

    Damn. That’s not how I thought it was going to go, but you definitely handled it the best you could, given the situation. I think Brady has something going on that he isn’t telling you about (since he doesn’t really tell you anything anyway), or he is about to have a mental breakdown about work. Either way, I think eventually you would want to figure out what the fuck actually happened that made him have a change of heart. Also, agreeing with most of the above people, don’t reach out first. He needs to sort out his shit and then come talk to you.

  23. seannea says:

    I’m sorry that you have been so hurt, but you and Brady have a lot of communication issues. He’s closed off and you’re high drama. The drama seems to overwhelm him and you seem frustrated that he won’t open up. You either decide that the work you both need to put into your relationship is worth it or you move on. But if it is fear or pride preventing you from calling Brady then you should connect with him. If he tells you he wants to make it work then that’s fantastic and I hope you set expectations for how you two communicate. If he tells you he doesn’t want to continue in the relationship it will hurt a lot but at least you won’t be thinking “what if?”

    • yeah… maybe. i just don’t want to call or text him because he is the one who decided he didn’t want to do it anymore. i’m not going to force him to be unhapapy with me.

  24. Vickie says:

    I went through a bad breakup a few years back where after almost a year of dating, he just NEVER called me again. He didn’t even tell me we broke up! I drafted the angry texts, and unfortunately, I did send them. I was so disappointed with myself. As soon as I sent them, I felt sick. It didn’t make me feel any better. It did exactly the opposite. I never heard from him and never got answers. So yeah, don’t send them. Our relationship was turbulent, much like yours. When it was good, it was great, but when it was bad, it was reeeally bad.

    That said, I didn’t get closure. But you know what? Turns out I didn’t need closure. I got a dog instead. Lol. And a great guy 5 months later that I’ve been with ever since.

    You may or may not ever talk to Brady again. I hope you do, even if just to wish each other well. Men are stinkers. They’ll always take the easy way out. I can give you the same advice everyone else gave you, to work on yourself, but I always found that going out and making out with a random boy would make me feel better! ☺

    • omg wow. i can’t believe he just stopped calling. what an asshat. the thought of never talking to brady again is really, really sad. 😥 making out with a random sounds gross… and tempting.

  25. Ashlyn says:

    What do you expect your a horrible girlfriend. You thought he was going to propose you clearly have issues no make that volumes…u need to seek help for your drinkng and drug use. Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with you when all you do is berate them when your drunk. I mean sure he looked at his phone have you never? You were always too worried about what material things he could provide you not what some one wants in a wife!

  26. Ashlyn says:

    You have mentioned mulitple times your drug use…maybe all the drugs and drinking killed of what little brain cells you had left. I doubt you had many to begin with. Everything you do is about material things no one is ever going to want a serious relationship with someone who is basically a drunk sorority girl who only cares about material things. The other poster was right you were basically a wham bam not even a thank you….

      • Wow, Ashlyn aren’t you a ray of sunshine? If anything Brady was the one who was using drugs regularly not Reese. Your hateful comments speak volumes. Reese isn’t perfect and she puts herself out there post after post because she wants to become a better person. She has made great strides since she first started. She’s 24-25 and is killing it in her career. If she wants to go out and drink and have fun that’s her right. No one is perfect and she’s going to make mistakes like we all do….doesn’t mean you have to be super rude when sharing your thoughts. Just my $.02.

    • Wow, you obviously have a problem with Reese. So if you don’t like her or what she does, then why do you continue to read her blog?? You must really enjoy being a troll. Congrats. And by the way, it’s pretty hypocritical of you to make reference that Reese doesn’t have a brain, when you don’t even know how to use the word “your” correctly.

  27. I’m literally so sad right now…I swear Brady is just like my boyfriend, it’s actually annoying. I’ve been through more then enough of the “I can’t do this” fights. I think its a step that needs to happen in a relationship. I hope everything turns out okay. I love you two. And if it doesn’t, it just means he couldn’t handle you. Which sucks for him. I know that’s like the last thing you want to hear but it’s the truth.

  28. Sara says:

    Something has been bothering me for days about this post and I finally put my finger on it: Brady lying to Carly and saying you were fine days after he broke things off. It’s like he was too ashamed to admit what he had done. It’s weird. It’s like a little kid who tells a lie in the futile hope he won’t get caught doing something seriously bad. I mean, Carly is your friend. How long did he think he could get away with that? He can’t even admit out loud to Carly about it. Does Chris even know? I can’t even imagine how much of a mess his state of mind is in.

    Does this mean anything more? No. It simply speaks, in my mind, to what a sad, lonely and walled off person Brady is. It must suck to be that alone, and I feel sorry for him, but at the same time it is an aloneness of his own devising. This from a man who admitted just last month how “mundane” his life was before he met you, Reese and how you made him happy. What I am most sorry for is that Brady would rather embrace that empty, lonely existence than try and maintain a relationship that he said made him happy. It’s so self destructive.

    On reflection, Reese, I think your decision to leave him be is best. Sometime down the line I suppose you could send a text/email/note so that your last words are not a sarcastic “have a nice life”, but that has to be only if it makes YOU feel better.

    Personally, I feel pity for Brady (and I don’t view pity as positive. Sympathy yes, pity, no.) I feel SYMPATHY for you Reese, that you got caught up in Brady’s neuroses. Let yourself grieve, be angry and try to focus on moving forward.

    • this is so, so true. I feel bad for him too and that he wouldn’t allow me to help or even fully know what was going on. i really think he’s going through a lot right now so yeah, a bit of a mess. hopefully one day i will be able to reach out to him…probably not though.

    • Elle says:

      I actually took it as, it’s not his place to say anything. She’s not his friend, she’s his roommate’s gf, and now-ex’s bff. I have done that before, we can’t assume he took the break up lightly just because it was his choice. It could just a defense mechanism on not wanting to go into it with the ex’s bff.

      • Elle says:

        I don’t think you feel bad about that…some people are introvert or extrovert. No has the most perfect way of communicating. The only problem was that you were both more introvert with your communications and emotions. From the way you have been telling us about Brady, to me it doesn’t seem like he really is a coward or ball less or whatever the other commenters called him…just someone who’s having a difficult time revealing their emotions

      • Liya says:

        I agree with Elle. I don’t think Brady is a coward like all these commenters are saying. To me, it seems like he’s just a little lost and overwhelmed right now. I get you have some pride, and you’re mad at him, and you want the guy to come chasing after you, but if you really care about him and value keeping him in your life rather than stubbornly holding on to your pride, you should reach out to him. I don’t think Brady will because he seems so used to dealing with things by himself/he will think you don’t want to hear from him.

  29. Jessi C says:

    Maybe he was going thru something? Maybe he heard from his brother? Or something about his brother? And you were going off about your work, without stopping to ask, and at that moment, that was his reaction? It’s just a thought. Because I’m hoping you two do get a chance to talk. There has to be more. Maybe there’s a chance you two will get back together?? Well, I am impatiently waiting for your next post….

  30. Y says:

    Sara’s comment makes so much sense. Brady must be really sad. He did mention his life was mundane before you. He has no support from his parents and no contact with his brother. He doesn’t seem to have any close friends either. He really is a loner and is probably used to dealing with things himself. That makes me feel so bad for him. It’s pitiful. It is up to him to reach out to you. But since he’s so used to being in his lonely shell you should realize that he may not. It’s up to you to decide if you are okay with that or if you want to reach out to him and make him open up to you and learn to let someone be there for him. I’m not saying you’re obligated to. My friend was dating this guy who had been through so much and kept trying to push her away cos he didn’t think he deserved her. She stayed with him and helped him get out of his funk. They got married last fall and he said in his vows that she, ‘saved him and changed the fate he had resigned himself to’.

  31. Zoe says:

    I’m soooo sad after reading this! I think you’re so great Reese and same goes for Brady. He can be really frustrating sometimes especially recently when I’ve seen you making such an effort and he just shuts down…but there’s something about reading this that makes me think there’s part of him that was hoping you’d tell him he’s exactly what you need. He seems a bit lost. You have to do whatever is right for you but I think it might be worth making contact one last time to resolve it either way. This might be the thing that gets him to open up.

    Love you lots xxx

  32. Jessi says:

    What should you do? Well, it depends on what you want to happen vs. what you are prepared to happen. There is a good possibility that Brady got a case of the fuck its and decided that he just needs to be by himself. OR, he is in such a funk he has no clue how to get out of it and is just pushing you away. OR, he just really doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.

    Regardless, you are not doing yourself any favors by being stubborn and refusing to reach out. I totally get where you are coming from. If he really wanted to talk to you or work things out, he would reach out to you. At the same time, there comes a point in your life where you have to transcend the petty bullshit, buck up, and get over yourself enough to be the one to initiate contact.

    I am so sorry about all of this. It is evident that you both love each other very much, and if your feelings are true, dig deep and see what’s up. Again, you could be met with a wall of fuck yous (worst case), or he could welcome you back with open arms. Regardless of the outcome, this may be a good opportunity to work on your communication skills so that your next relationship (or second chance with Brady) is more successful.

    You know we have your back no matter what, so if you want to reach out to him, just do it. If not, we understand. Oh, and stop crying at work. You have this shit in the bag, so head up, shoulders high, and remember you were hired because you are good at what you do. Don’t let your dipshit boss and his little sidekick (who he OBVIOUSLY fucked) intimidate you.

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