it wasn’t an engagement ring.

My week was pretty uneventful. I went to Dallas on Tuesday and Wednesday and I actually had a lot of fun. Something about Dallas just feels homey and nostalgic to me. I love it.

When I got back to Chicago on Wednesday Kendra texted me and asked if I wanted to meet up. I told her I would so we got sushi. Apparently she wanted to come clean about getting back with John. She said that they’re taking it slow and discussing their options. I nodded and agreed at first even though I did not agree at all. But as she continued talking, I started to realize that I was being a bit ridiculous. She and John were together for six years and he was a pretty stand up boyfriend for all of it. Every single time my college boyfriend and I broke up or he cheated on me, Kendra was right there supporting me. She was usually telling me how stupid he was or how I needed to be done with him because I looked like a fool, but she was always there. I needed to be like that for her.Β 

I can’t believe I was actually supporting Kendra and John getting back together. And she admitted that it’s been going on since November. So I mean, whatever, but I don’t appreciate her hiding it this long.

I went to Brady’s on Thursday after work. He was sitting there on his laptop looking like he was completely over life which seems to be the norm lately. I tried to get him to talk, but he was short so I left him alone for a while, figuring he could finish his work. Then I went back and decided he needed a break.

“Okay, Mopey,” I said. “Get up. We are going out.”

Brady looked up at me, looking somewhat amused. “Where are we going?”

“I don’t know, but you need to get away from that fucking laptop. It does nothing but piss you off.”

He nodded slowly and sighed like he knew that was true. So we went to one of my fave places where a lot of finance guys go after work. I used to like to go there to get hit on, but they have good drink specials and quesadillas too. After we got settled in I asked him to tell me about work.

“It’s fine,” he started to say, but I cut him off.

“No it isn’t. Tell me what’s going on. You can vent to me,” I said.

So he did, finally. But I still felt like he was kind of annoyed with having to tell me. Maybe I’m just not a good person to talk to. I wish I was. I feel like my friend, Brittany, is. I mean, I don’t really talk to her about anything but apparently she and Brady had a ton to talk about.

We ate and had drinks and actually had fun. I’m glad he didn’t let his stupid job ruin his mood. I would have. #negativenancy

It started to get late and Brady said, “We should take a shot and then get going.”

Patron shots were on special so we got those, paid the bill then left. Even though it was cold out, we didn’t rush to the car. We slowly enjoyed the night and the buildings and people and each other. It was actually pretty sweet. Until I got too cold and ran to the car. Then we went home and warmed each other up.

On Friday I had conference calls plus a one on one call with Andrew. I felt like we had been pretty good the past few weeks, but he was back to being an asshole. He was like, “Reese, you and I are going to do a mock walk through of the Tennessee store next week and I expect it to be perfect. And if something isn’t, you better have a good reason why it isn’t.”

I wanted to argue that I wouldn’t even be in the store before then to make sure it was in good shape, but I was too afraid to. His tone sounded really threatening. I started an email to the Tennessee manager instead.

After work I got dinner and went to Brady’s. He let me in and I followed him to the dining room where a bouquet of red roses were sitting on the table. And a little red Cartier box was sitting in front of it. I automatically thought he was proposing and was disappointed at how not romantic it was.

I looked at Brady and he was just standing there looking really exhausted.Β Poor guy.

“I got you something,” he said and passed me the box.

“Thanks,” I said, taking it. I actually did get him something but I planned on giving it to him Saturday (Valentine’s Day).

So it wasn’t an engagement ring. Obviously. It was a Cartier Love bracelet – the classic one you have to use the little screwdriver to get on. Kylie Jenner has like a dozen of them. It’s a classic bracelet and I do like it but I never really thought of getting one on my own.

“Wow, thank you. It’s beautiful,” I said genuinely and I leaned over to hug him. He hugged me back and seemed to sigh in relief that I liked it.

He helped me put it on then gave me the rest of my gift: a box of macarons which I didn’t need at all. But obviously I wasn’t complaining and ate them all before the night was over.

We drank wine and had a relaxing evening. On Saturday we hung out around the house and I finally decided to aplogize about my most recent antics.

“I sent that stuff I ordered back,” I said while we were sitting in bed.Β 

“What stuff?” he asked.

“The stuff I ordered with your credit card. You know, the bag…”

“Oh yeah!”

“Yeah. So I feel really bad. I shouldn’t have ordered all that stuff. I’m glad you’re not mad. Are you?”

“Mmhm,” Brady murmured. That’s when I realized that he was looking at his phone and not paying attention to me.

“Are you even listening to me?” I asked through clenched teeth. I felt a tantrum coming on.

“Of course I am,” he said, putting his phone down. He put his arms around my waist, but didn’t answer whether or not he was mad. So obviously he wasn’t listening.

I was silent for a moment before saying, “So you aren’t mad?”

“It isn’t that big of a deal. You didn’t have to send anything back,” Brady said.

I wanted to strangle him. Why doesn’t he ever want to talk about anything when I bring it up? How am I supposed to talk about anything when he just brushes everything off and says it wasn’t a big deal? I wasn’t even about to bring up the phone because I was so frustrated.

We went to dinner with Chris, Carly, Kendra and John for Valentine’s Day. I was annoyed, but we had a good time still. We got chocolate covered strawberries and I had to watch Kendra and John feed them to each other. It was actually pretty disgusting, but good for them.

After dinner I gave Brady his gift: a massage at a spa. I included a card that said, “I know between me and the hospital you’re really stressed. I hope this helps! <3" It wasn't nearly as nice as the gift he got me but I didn't know we were doing extravagant gifts. Plus Valentine's Day is supposed to be all about the girl, right? No? Okay.

Anyway, thanks for all the comments on my last post. I appreciate all of them! As most of you know I started this blog to learn more about myself and this is teaching me so much more than I ever imagined. Like one commenter said, this blog is all of my unfiltered and honest thoughts. That's the only way I think I can expect honest comments from you guys. I definitely take all of the advice into consideration, but I can't change who I am or how I act. That just isn't going to happen. But I'm honestly trying to become a better version of myself and become more aware of how I treat people. I think I'm getting there. So thanks.

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37 thoughts on “it wasn’t an engagement ring.

  1. megg says:

    Reese! You’re amazing! I seriously would not be able to handle the shit that gets thrown your way. I think you’re doing awesome and definitely learning. I know I learn a ton from your blog…thanks for being candid, unfiltered and honest. And way to just love and care for Brody. Good luck with Andrew this week 😬

  2. Carmona says:

    Am i the only one that thinks it’s a major red flag that Brady was on his phone texting or doing whatever while you were talking?

  3. Vickie says:

    Reese, I never comment. I mostly just amuse myself reading through everyone else’s comments. But… You remind me so much of myself when I was your age. Not that I’m old, I’m just not 20-something anymore. πŸ™‚ I was spoiled and selfish and even a little nutty in relationships. Please don’t take offense to that, I think we all are when we’re younger. I got into one relationship where it finally clicked, and I was a grownup. Lol. Reading through this post, I was really proud of you! The way you confronted Brady about his work issues, good for you! You made it about him, and that is HUGE! I think dragging him out of the house was great, and I loved your gift to him. Maybe it wasn’t as extravagant as his, but the thought behind it was super sweet. My man got me jewelry, and I baked his favorite cookies. So, it’s not the amount you spend, but the thought behind it.

    I do get pissed off sometimes reading your blog, but I love it, and like others have said, we are rooting for you. You took a big step forward this week, and it’s obvious Brady noticed. Keep it up! πŸ™‚

  4. Luita says:

    I don’t think it’s true to say that you can’t change. I see a lot of changes in you already. Like you bringing up the bags, I think that’s pretty big change. Goof job! Brady seems like a good gift-giver, some people just have that talent.
    For what it’s worth I think you are fabulous, none of us are perfect! I’m sure there’s not one person here that can say they don’t make mistakes.

  5. Sara says:

    Reese, I think that you have used this blog well. You have shown that you have made some changes in your life and IMO it comes down to writing all this down and being willing to read through and take on board the feedback. I am also glad to hear you say you are still going to be true to yourself (not in those words, but that’s what I took away from it.) Kudos!
    Personally, I think Brady is in a really bad space with regards to work. He is working too damned hard and it will come back to bite him, healthwise. In Japan they actually have a cause-of-death diagnosis of working oneself to death. Straight up.(It’s called “karoshi”) I know it’s morbid on my part to bring that up, but then again, nervous breakdowns are not that uncommon as are other health conditions. His hours sound insane and unsustainable. He has a strong work ethic and takes his job seriously, but the irony is the damned hospital will function just fine with or without him, so he needs to detach and to set some limits. I know this from personal experience. Since he is still being cagey about talking about it, I would talk to Chris and try to get his take. Worst case, if it continues, get your fiends together and stage a workaholism intervention. Finally, I am sure not all Pharmacist jobs are so stressful. You all are in a major metro area, so maybe he needs to find another job at a different hospital where the pace is more humane…?
    And yes, the thing with the phone was rude of him. If it happens again, calmly call him out for it.

    • thanks! and wow, i did not think about that with his job. it is really scary to think about. i will talk to him about slowing down and maybe talking to one of his superiors about his work load. he’s mentioned that he’s taking on someone else’s work right now which is a major part of the problem.

  6. Doll, I think you’ve made a lot of progress since you’ve started this blog. You’ve grown a lot and your communication skills are definitely improving. Months ago you would have never taken the initiative to bring up the bags or even talk about Brady’s work issues with him because you didn’t know how to. I think you have a huge heart and you’re super loyal to your friends, family and Brady. So what if you don’t know the right thing to say in all situations or if you make a silly mistake? When I was your age I made my share of mistakes but learned from them, like you’re doing. Even today at 30, I still do or say crazy things that leave my husband scratching his head! I like to say it’s my way of keeping things interesting…lol. No one is perfect and I applaud you for dealing with the advice and comments you receive. At 25, I probably would have flipped out at some of the criticism but you’re responses and drive to change show that you’re mature and aware that sometimes your behavior is a little over the top. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Know that you’re pretty awesome and have a lot to offer:-)

    Love Brady’s gift to you! How precious! A few years back my now husband got my a Cartier Love bracelet and I wear it practically every day still. I adore it. I like how you thought about what Brady would need and got him the massage. Sometimes it’s not how much you spend and much as how thoughtful your present is. It’s clear that you and Brady love each other and i love reading about your relationship.

  7. Anna says:

    Maybe part of the reason he’s stressed is because he doesn’t have the same work relationships that he used to. Reese, I think your discomfort with Jessica is perfectly reasonable and it’s fantastic that Brady has respected your wishes. I guess I’m just wondering if maybe after the closet bj, they became a source of stress relief (all professional, not sexual) at some point. While I know I can talk to my boyfriend about work stuff, sometimes it’s easier to vent to someone who knows the ins and outs of a place. I’m not suggesting he should start talking to Jessica, but maybe you could ask him if he has anyone at work that is sharing his frustrations and discuss with them. Just an idea.

    Also, I think you’re a fantastic person and absolutely love your writing style. I feel like we share similar, sarcastic senses of humor, which makes you 100% relatable.

  8. Cam says:

    Reese! I am obsessed with your blog! I think you’re hilarious and of course your a bitch sometimes but isn’t everyone? I am going to be in Chicago for St. Patrick’s Day.. Let’s party! πŸ™‚ LOVE Chicago!!!

  9. D says:

    So glad Kendra finally came clean and that you were supportive of her. I also thought you handled the Brady work situation really well. You really have grown so much since you started this blog. πŸ™‚
    Kinda disappointed in Brady for not listening to you about the bags, but whatever. You handled it like a champ anyways.

  10. Is it weird that I am super confused about your race/ethnicity…I know it doesn’t mean anything but me and my friend have been arguing about it since like july. I love your blog. always have, always will. You kill it!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Bethany says:

    Dear Reese,

    I just binge read you’re entire blog in three week (not an easy accomplishment) but I am hooked and love your blog… I hope all goes well with you and am happy this is helping you grow…

    I know you don’t need any advice but I advise you to continue to be cautious with Andrew. You and Brady seem like such an amazingly adorable couple. Your humor makes me laugh and you seem awesome. Thanks for the great stories 😊

  12. Kels0h says:

    I would have been so pissed if my boyf was using his phone when I was trying to have a serious talk (heart to heart/shmooze fest/apology/whatever) — you handled that WAYYY better than I would have. But I can be kinda hostile. So. hahah Love it.

  13. Kels0H says:

    I know!! So that’s pretty impressive! See… You are starting to improve yourself!! ….. Maybe this means I should too? LOL the struggle.

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