I kind of forgot about all the stuff I ordered until Wednesday morning when Brady texted me, “How much did you spend on Sunday?”
I had just gotten to work so I stalled by putting my stuff down and talking to everyone. Then I replied, “I can’t remember but I got you something!”
He said, “I don’t want anything.”
“But you’ll love it!”
“Ok.”
I could tell he wasn’t happy with me so I said, “Love you! Can’t wait to see you later!”
He didn’t reply until lunch time so I distracted myself with work all morning. Because of the weather I didn’t have to travel on Tuesday and Wednesday and instead communicated with the managers via phone and email. Andrew told me that I should check in with each store at least once a day to go over business. So he wants me to nag them like he nags me.
At around 1:00, Brady finally texted me back, “You too.”
Shit. He was pissed. I knew I needed to apologize so I immediately called him. I figured he was probably taking a break for lunch too.
He sent me to voicemail and texted me, “Sorry, I’m busy.”
RUDE. Have you ever had someone reject you and you actually felt your heart break? That was me. I decided not to bother him for the rest of the day and met Kendra and Preston for happy hour.
Preston wanted us to know that he was officially done with Mr. Murphy and on the prowl. Kendra said that a new gay started at her office and she thought he and Preston should meet. Preston immediately wanted to know his Facebook/Instagram/LinkedIn which Kendra didn’t know. She isn’t a very good matchmaker.
In the middle of happy hour, Brady finally called me back and I jumped up from the table and ran to the bathroom to answer it. Thirsty.
“Hey,” I answered coolly.
“Hey, sorry. I’m just now leaving work,” Brady said.
“Oh, it’s fine,” I said and we began some almost awkward small talk for a few minutes.
Then he said, “I’m almost home, do you want to come over?”
Whew. At least he still wanted to hang out with me. I went and wrapped up happy hour then headed over. When I got there Brady was doing something I’ve never seen him do. Smoking alone. And on a weeknight which I don’t think I’ve seen him do either. I knew it was probs my fault.
He offered me the pipe thingy and I took it. An hour later Brady was sitting on the couch with his hands behind his head and I was straddling him topless with my tits dangling in his face. He looked so fucking cute.
I climbed off a little so I could pull Brady’s penis out then I pushed my thong to the side and hopped on. I don’t know if it was the friction from my panties or the weed or how hot Brady looked or the fact that he was actually whispering dirty things to me, but I came almost immediately. That never happens to me from just intercourse.
I quickly dropped to my knees in between Brady’s thighs and started sucking. I could at least finish him off nicely. This lasted a few minutes until he was about to come then he yanked me up and put me back on his penis. Oh. He grabbed my hips and bounced me up and down until he came.
So I’m not going to lie, Brady and I never use condoms anymore which I know is bad. Usually he pulls out, but sometimes he doesn’t. He’s never deliberately came inside me like that though.
On Thursday I worked from home so by 6:30 I was going stir crazy and ready to get out of the house. I texted Brady that we should get dinner and drinks when he got off and he said he would pick me up around 8:00. I don’t know why, but I was already ready to drink so I made myself a glass of tequila and Sprite. I put on a pair of jeans, a sweater, booties and some jewelry then pulled my hair into a side braid.
I hadn’t really eaten much during the day so by the time Brady came to get me I was tipsy. I tried to hide it though because I didn’t want him to judge me for a. drinking alone, b. getting drunk alone and c. being a hot mess.
“Hey you,” I said, climbing in the passenger seat.
I was trying so hard not to let on that I was tipsy that the car ride to the Mexican place was kind of awkward lol. As soon as we sat down I started shoveling chips and salsa in my mouth because I was starving. Then we ordered pineapple margaritas and when they came out they were fucking huge.
Brady ordered food, but all I needed was my margarita. By the time I finished it, I was druuuuunk. The waitress came back to check on us and I ordered one more for me and one for Brady even though he wasn’t even halfway done with his first one.
I started rambling on and on about work and Brady kept looking around and telling me to shh. Apparently I was being loud. There weren’t really a lot of people in the small restaurant so I really didn’t think it was a big deal.
I announced that I had to use the bathroom and after getting lost (the restaurant was dark) I went in and pottied then called my mom and Kendra. Then I took some selfies because the Spanish tiles and Mexican decor was so pretty.
I must have been gone for a while because when I got back to the table, Brady asked, “Where have you been?”
“Whatttt?” I said defensively.
He just kind of shook his head and didn’t reply.
Not long after that our waitress came over to tell us the bar was closing and did we want anything else? Someone had turned the music down and the lights came on and it felt like when you stay at the club until it closes.
I said something like, “I guess I’ll take the hint when I’m not wanted.”
And Brady was like, “Reese!”
Was that rude? The waitress didn’t even hear me. We got outside and I suddenly decided that I wanted to take a nice stroll around the neighborhood. I grabbed Brady’s hand and told him we should take a romantic walk.
“Reese, no,” he said calmly.
I pouted. “Why are you being mean?”
“I’m not. It’s just really cold.” Brady was rubbing his gloved hands together and was visibly uncomfortable, but I felt fine.
“Oh my gosh, you’re such a babyyyyy,” Drunk Reese said and continued walking. He would have to follow, right?
I was halfway down the block when I felt Brady grab my arm, hard.
“Reese, it’s too fucking cold for this. Let’s go,” he said sternly.
I actually liked the way he was standing up to me so I happily followed him to the car. On the way home he said, “We can take a walk in the spring, okay?” Which was sweet.
We immediately got undressed and in bed and fooled around for a little bit before Brady fell asleep. I couldn’t sleep so I sat up reading work emails. Drunk Reese spotted Brady’s phone sitting on the nightstand and got a really good dumb idea. I crawled over his body to get the phone and as stealthily as I could, I put his thumb on the touch ID thing.
Well, apparently it wasn’t stealthy enough because Brady pulled his hand away and opened his eyes.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he demanded.
I really didn’t have an answer to that because I don’t really know what I was doing. So I just giggled.
Brady seemed to realize what I was trying to do and snatched the phone from my hand and got out of bed.
“What are you doing?” I asked nervously. He seemed really, really pissed.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he mumbled, grabbed a pillow and stormed out.
So that worked out well. I don’t even know why I did that. I think I just saw an opportunity and took it. I haven’t had the urge to go through his phone or anything since our heart to heart which I was proud of. This just diminished all that.
At the time I was just like whatever and fell asleep. But when I woke up I felt awful especially when I realized that Brady was already at work and didn’t even say goodbye to me.
So, time for some damage control I guess.
hot mess in high heels. 
I literally cannot tell you how many times I’ve been drunk (or not even that drunk, which is probably worse) and thought something was honestly (really) a good idea and it turned out to be the complete opposite, so I feel you.
Weird question: does different kinds of alcohol equate to different feelings of drunk for you? Like for me, wine and beer make me way gigglier than hard liquor. Mixed drinks usually just make me tired, but beer makes me want to party more. Then again maybe this is total bullshit because the night I was super rude to J’s friends, I’d been drinking cocktails with gin.
well wine makes me kind of chill and laidback, i don’t think i act AS crazy with wine. other than though, any kind of alcohol, if not cosumes in moderation, makes me go wild haha.
So did Brady end up saying anything about how much you spent?
I’m worried about his reaction to your drunken phone break-in attempt. I can’t wait to hear what you say because I wouldn’t know how to talk my way out of that one.
he didn’t really say anything other than the text message. and i don’t even know how to talk my way out of it. i’m honestly so embarrassed.
OMG he puts up with allot! Lol… Don’t think you’ll be seeing much of a Carti-AIR anytime soon. No but really, lady up babe, we’re all rooting for you here :*
😦
Nooo didn’t want to make you sad! To be honest I just think you’re a smart woman who knows better. You already have that guy wrapped around your finger, now show him why he should put a ring on it!
it’s fine i deserve to be sad.
We all make mistakes. Suck it up an apologize to him. You were drunk so he’ll understand. However make sure your apology is genuine because you promised him you weren’t going to do that anymore and he’s probably mad cos he thought y’all were past this. Between what happened on Sunday and this Brady deserves a hell of an apology and possibly a sweet gesture. (Otherwise you may not be getting that cartier ring soon. lol)
i do plan on applogizing and owning up to it. i haven’t talked to him so i’m trying to put my pride aside and call him to apologize for everything. and what sweet gesture would you suggest? i’m really bad at this.
For starters I think you should return the stuff he didn’t say you could buy (keep the gucci and return the other stuff). If you really want to get him something you shouldn’t use his money. That will show him that you respect him and his money. He gave you his card and you crossed the line and you should apologize for that. For a sweet gesture maybe plan something for valentines day? You could book a hotel for a stay cation or give him a massage. Just let him know that you appreciate him and you don’t take him for granted. He clearly loves you, but that doesn’t mean you should keep testing his limit.
i don’t to return any of the bags 😦
Honestly Reese, you need to apologize to brady and stop being so selfish. You racked up a huge bill on his credit card and don’t have the decency to tell him how much you’ve spent. I feel that your behavior was very immature in this entire post and that your maturity has regressed to where you were months ago.
i agree melissa.
you should definitely return all the extra things you bought – that bill was pretty big for a random purchase on someone else’s card
Apologize and be honest with brady, you can’t go wrong with the truth. The poor guy is probably thinking that you’ve done this before or that you still don’t trust him, so he just needs reassurance from you. But talk to him, don’t just push the issue under a rug.
Can we talk about birth control? If you can’t remember the pill then go to your gyn and ask about the shot, you only have to do it every 3 months and there’s another one you inject in your arm and it stays there for a year I think. Pull out method is not as effective because there could be sperm in pre-cum. But seriously! If you don’t want to get pregnant do something about it! Sorry, I feel strongly about this because I think it’s better to prevent a pregnancy than to terminate one.
i will talk to him, promise. 🙂 and i am on birth control. i set an alarm on my phone now to remind me to take the pill everday everyday. i do not want to get pregnant!
I wonder if this will somehow get turned around on brady. If it does I really hope you think about how your behavior makes brady act a certain way. By always snooping or acussong he’s on the defensive constantly so he has to have some control. There’s gotta be some Trust….
it won’t get turned on him unless he makes me cry which wouldn’t be my fault.
I think you kind of deserve to cry here… super out of line. On another note, it’s awesome to see you really own up to it. You really are showing growth 🙂
From reading your blog it seems that you have a sense of entitlement. You felt Brady had to buy you the bags and nagged him until he said yes. You go to dinner with him, disappear for who knows how long (extremely disrespectful) and then cop and attitude when the waitress says the bar is closing. Brady wasn’t in the mood for a walk but you tried to force him to do what you want. You feel Brady was being rude when you blew off his question about how much you spent? Everything isn’t about you and your feelings Reese. When are you going to stop and think about how Brady feels? How would you like it if he tried to go through your phone? You need to stop blaming your actions on being drunk or high or any other excuse. Grow up and be accountable. You said you won’t turn this around on Brady unless he makes you cry? I’m almost certain once he says how he feels (even if he’s justified) you’ll cry and have him apologize to you. Just like the last time. You screwed up and he yelled, you start crying and next thing you know Brady is groveling and you’re off the hook. That’s not how healthy relationships work. Sooner or later Brady will get tired of the games and the antics. No guy wants to put up with that no matter how pretty or how great the sex is.
accurate. i don’t deny any of this, but i do think about how brady feels. i may have been acting kind of selfish the past few days but i def care about he feels.
While you might care about Brady, your actions certainly don’t show it. I understand we don’t read about every aspect about your life but from the things you’ve shared it seems that your relationship is a one-way street with Brady doing most of the giving and you the taking. Why can’t you be completely honest and forthcoming with Brady? Why do you avoid answering his questions? You found a way around not telling him what you told Jessica (you cried and flipped the script on him) and then now when he’s asking about how much you spent you avoid the question and complain about being hurt when he’s upset? You need to show Brady that you care about him and be prepared to deal with his hurt feelings and anger instead of thinking about yourself. If he’s mad he’s right to be.
he obviously knows how much i spent, that’s why he even brought it up. if he didn’t like how much i spent he should have just said that instead of being all passive. he needs to stand up for himself honestly.
Wow are you really blaming brady? He gave you permission to buy one bag not two. Maybe he asked because he didn’t know how much the bag cost and wanted to make sure he wasn’t being overcharged. He didn’t want to buy you the bag to begin with but you insisted and to shut you up he agreed. How can brady stand up for himself when you keep blaming him for your choices.
he could stand up for himself by saying no if he really didn’t want to buy it. i’m not blaming him, i’m just saying that he needs to be more assertive. which is exactly what everyone says about him.
But he did say no and you kept at it. He was trying to get work done and you kept pestering. if he held his ground you would’ve flipped out and created a scene. He says yes and you spend over 5k on his credit card. Once he said no YOU should have understood but you didn’t. You wanted your bag and wouldn’t stop til he said yes. When he’s assertive and speaks his mind you get upset and like the victim. All you cared about was getting what you wanted.
Has it occurred to you to find out why brady is so stressed and busy at work? Did you ever try to put yourself I his shoes? You bitch about your job to him and he listens and gives you sound advice. What do you know about his work situation? Why did he find it easier to open up to your friend in Houston about his family than you? Maybe it’s because he feels you don’t care and doesn’t want to burden you. If my man was swamped at work and was trying to tie up loose ends by working from home, I wouldn’t be annoying him to get me a bag or shoes or anything. I’d support him and give him a little peace and quiet.
good point. thank you
Exactly, and that is exactly why your friend Kendra got cheated on. Could be you next if you don’t start caring about him !
oh fuck off.
Leslie, poor taste. Don’t bully with the cheating threat, that’s childish.
No way! Cheating shouldn’t happen regardless of what is going on in the relationship. Reese, you’re awesome!!I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts and think we are similar in the ways we act and do certain things. In fact, I recall reading something and something I had literally said a couple of months ago was almost identical! So, I get where you are coming from. I’m actually trying to tone down my actions in general with the boyfriend. It’s hard though, because I know I can really act like a brat sometimes. I think baby steps is key and slowly slowly we will become not so crazy. Well I hope I will, anyway!
Brady seems to absolutely adore you, I’m really happy for you 🙂 Keep a lock on him, he will make you happy and cherish you no matter what. XX from Sydney, Australia
i’m so glad i’m not the only crazy one! 🙂 at least we are working on it. thanks!
Yeah, I gotta agree with the herd, here. As much as you want that bag, it’s just a bag and will be out of style in 6 months. Is that really worth putting a dent in your relationship? Apologize, return the bags–both of them–and move on. We have all gotten the wantsies for toys/treats (don’t even ask me about how many shoes I own. It’s sad), but as I have gotten older, I realize that I want something, buy it, use it for a few weeks, and then it becomes just one more thing stuck in a closet. If you really want that bag–use your own $$, even if that means saving up for it. It will mean more you anyway because you worked for it. It sounds like Brady is WAY stressed and you can help him by being sweet to him. Start giving him more massages. He liked it when you did that for him before. Ask him to tell you what he needs from you and from his surroundings.
okay you’re right. maybe i will keep the first bag since he said i could get it.
Reese I think you should return both bags. He didn’t say yes to the first, he said no and you kept bugging him so he gave you his credit card so you’d stop. I’m reading your comments and I sense that you aren’t grasping that Brady didn’t want to get you the bag in the first place. It’s incredibly irresponsible to spend that much on someone else’s card. You’re careless with his money. He expected you to spend a couple hundred not thousands. I don’t care if he has the money to spend. You want a bag use your own cash. I’ve read your blog and follow you on Twitter and you always say your boyfriend has to buy this or the other. Since when is that a prerequisite of a relationship?
Brady has jumped through hoops and bent a lot for you. You don’t see it because your too caught up with the material and getting that Cartier. You’re no where near ready to be married tbh. Marriage is give and take, supporting and loving each other unconditionally, respecting, trusting and speaking honestly. It isn’t one sided or about what you can get from the other. I think you want the Cartier as a status stmbol nothing more. Like someone else said you claim to love Brady but can’t have a serious convo with him. Instead of spending his money why didn’t you ask about his job situation? Do you not care or was buying yourself a bag you’ll get tired with in three months more pressing? Personally I think keeping either of the bags will confirm that that was all you cared about in the first place. What if Brady didn’t have money and you couldn’t strong arm him to giving you his credit card would you stick around? Stop being a taker and learn to appreciate and listen to Brady. Your actions go against your proclamations of love.
i can have a serious convo with him and i have. i didn’t think his job situation was that serious because he always has a large work load and when i’ve asked about it he assured me that everything was fine. you guys have made me realize that i’m probably being really insenstive about so i will ask the next time i talk to him. and while i’m really sad about giving up the bags, i won’t keep them. i can buy them on my own, but i just don’t want to drop that much. so you’re absolutely right about me being careless with his money. I feel awful.
I’m not trying to make you feel bad by my observation. Most men don’t complain about their jobs. They do what they have to. In this case Brady is overwhelmed and putting in more time than normal for him. You complain about everything you dislike about work and he listens patiently. Could it be he doesn’t want to open up because he’s afraid you’ll start asking about Jessica or whichever female texted him weeks ago? He doesn’t need added drama. Second you shouldn’t be sad about material things. If you don’t want to spend that much of your own money, why would it be justified to spend so much of Brady’s money?
The two of you need to have sober conversations. Not these pipe dream convos about the future when you’re both high. Brady has confided in Chris, your friend and not you. Your significant other should be one if your go to people to talk to. Finally I think it’s sad you lost the book that Brady got you for Christmas. That gift probably took a lot of thought and was heartfelt but it didn’t mean much to you because it wasn’t Chanel or Prada, only a book. Get your priorities in check and start looking at the big picture.
i know, i know. you say you don’t want to make me feel bad but you keep telling me what i already know. why would he be afraid of me asking about jessica or maddie if he isn’t doing anything with them, first of all. secondly, i just said i was going to return the bags, lapse in judgment. you made me realize that it was wrong to use his money on something i wouldn’t even buy myself. finally, yes i was more excited about the shoes he got me than the book (i don’t read much anymore) so that is probably how i lost it so easily. thanks.
You are talking a lot about him standing up for himself but you don’t make it easy. He did say no. But what did you do? Continued to nag and nag. And truthfully he knows how things will go if you don’t get your way. And then you’ll find some way to have sex with him to fix it all and that’s the end of it. I know you guys care about each other but he really does a lot of bending for you so you don’t go off the deep end. And I can understand that because Ive been in his spot. And nothing good comes of that. I doubt he’ll cheat because he doesn’t seem like that type but I do foresee him taking off. It;s going to get to be too much.
okay maybe, but what kind of “bending” does he really do? examples.
Oh Reese, I think it time you become more appreciative of Brady. The Dude goes through hoops and deals with your bs 60% of the time. Relationships are two-ways not one sided like yours in some instances.do apologize and try to be considerate of his feelings
no he doesn’t go through hoops.
Lady, you are doing a great job at work. But you cannot ever snoop on someone you’re dating, it will always land you in a bad spot. That he felt his privacy had been invaded to the point of putting a thumb lock on his phone is sort of terrible. That you would use his credit card to purchase two more items than you had initially told him is really awful and manipulative (also technically theft).
Here’s my thoughts: I sometimes have awful issues with jealousy also. It is no fun. But at the same time, I trust and respect my partner’s privacy. End result? I have most of his passwords (for his cell, different emails, etc) because of him periodically wanting me to take care of something on an account or send a message of some sort. I have never taken advantage of that because I appreciate the respect and trust he gives me.
I have a credit card from my parents. I don’t ever use it, unless I’ve gotten their permission. That is my own choosing, and what I feel is respectful.
Brady seems to be pulling away more and more due to this behavior. He upped his security, has become far less enthusiastic about living together/getting married….. the only way to really get him to propose to you and everything because HE wants it, not because YOU want it, is to start treating him the way that you want him to treat you. If he behaved towards you the way you have behaved toward him in the past few days you would flip out. Heck, I would flip out. I don’t believe he’d cheat, but I do believe he would not make any further investment in the relationship and let it run its course. You have it in you!
Also, this is massively touchy, please don’t take it the wrong way, but do you think you might have a drinking problem? It seems that you routinely drink, and that whenever you drink you get drunk, followed by a switch flipping, more drinking, and then huge amounts of remorse. It just might be worth trying NOT drinking, as an experiment. Or implementing a 2 drink limit. Just see how far that gets you.
yeah i think i have an issue with moderation. once i start i can’t stop. i’ll maybe try not drinking for a week or something.
That sounds like a good idea to me. A lot of my friends who party do a “dry month” to basic detox their livers (I’d go nuts, personally, but then again I am a lightweight and don’t get drunk too often anymore) Start with a week. It’s a manageable period of time. Just make sure you have something to do for that week that keeps you busy and doesn’t involve booze (movies, classes) or you might get bored and it’ll be harder to stick to.
okay, you are right. i won’t drink again until next saturday. it is probably a sign that i have a problem if a week of no drinking sounds miserable?
If you can’t stop once you start (like can’t have only 2 drinks per night for 2 weeks straight) then it could be indicative of a big issue.
Also, he really does do a lot for you and jump through hoops. He dealt with a massively uncomfortable work situation after you wrote the rude email to Jessica, he ceased communicating with his other female friend, he got you tickets home and faced the wrath of his family to spend the holidays with yours, and he has dealt with “Drunk Reese” one heck of a lot. I’m a little concerned that you seem to just expect that of him. The best way for a relationship to work is for both people to spend a fair amount of time communicating their wants, hopes and needs… but more importantly trying to support those things for their partner. Sure, he’s not perfect, nobody is. He really deserves your love and support, shown via taking interest in his life and caring for his needs (not just sexually). For instance, when he’s home with his laptop working, you picking up dinner or giving a shoulder rub would be a really nice way to show that you respect he’s busy and that you care about him.
so i expect too much out of him?
I think you’re sabotaging. It’s a defense mechanism. Take some time and dig deep with yourself. What are you wanting from Brody and your relationship? What do you want to see different in the way you show up in your relationship? Get clear with these things, share them with Brody. Apologize. It’s just my opinion, but I think you’re avoiding or nervous about something or want something more from Brody and instead of just talking to him about it, you’re going to push and push and push him so that you feel some kind of satisfaction/validation/security with the relationship. Maybe I’m wrong. Either way… apologize. I think it would really mean a lot to Brody.
you could be right and i’m going to think about it. i’ll let you know.
Hey girl absolutely love your blog! I think you really need a break from the alcohol, you and Brady have made sooo much progress and you only do these crazy things and really push your relationship to its limits, creating conflict, when you’re drunk. I think it the best thing you could do for your relationship and friendships to remember why you want these people in your life and find a way to enjoy each other’s company without the alcohol. Good luck w everything can’t wait to hear what happens next.
thanks! i think this is good advice 🙂
Hey Reese,
Love your blog/attitude, I wish I had your ladyballs sometimes. I just wanted to mention something that worked for my hubby and me. When we first started dating I was a hot drunk mess (still am, but not nearly as often). I have a hard time drinking with moderation, and once I reach a certain point I black out and don’t remember anything else, but I’ve done some really stupid shit. (Started fights, jumped on cars, roundhouse kicked him in the balls once etc. He wasn’t pleased). This obviously created some issues, so here are some strategies that work for us. I lay off the shots (most of the time) because that gets me into trouble way more often than not. When he sees me reaching that black out point of no return I told him to call me out/put me to bed/take me home, not go along with it. And lastly, I just don’t drink as often anymore. Maybe not as much fun, but worth my sanity in the long run. Maybe if you have a conversation with Brady about him calling you out on your drunken antics? I’m sure there will be a few temper tantrums but it may be worth it in the long run. Hope you guys work it out. Muah
i think that’s a great idea. i don’t want my bf to think he has to babysit me though, so hopefully i can learn not to black out on my own. (oh my god, i can’t believe you kicked him in the balls. I would die)
I agree, I was the same way and used to black out and get crazy, finally my husband told me to stick to wine and beer and no hard liquor because I was much better behaved when I did that and it has really worked, the only time I have hard liquor is if I am having one drink before dinner and then I switch to wine right after, and NEVER have hard liquor later in the night, that causes me all sorts of crazy and all sorts of relationship problems 🙂
Reese, I loved the reference to my blog and the Cartier ring:) I meant to leave a comment but have been overwhelmed with work and the endless snowstorms!
I don’t question your feelings for Brady at all. it’s clear that you care and love him. At times we all make mistakes, the key is to learn from them and move on. Don’t be too hard on yourself. We all have done something without thinking and regretted it. About the bags, I know you love them but maybe it would be best to return them. Even though he hasn’t bluntly said anything, it appears that the price might have been a bit too exorbitant for Brady.
When my husband and I were dating he was very much like Brady, bottling up whatever was going on at work or in his family, always putting up a brave front. Instead of pushing him, I gave him space to deal while letting him know I was there for him if he needed me. When he would work from home or stay late at the office, I would do little things to show him I cared…make him dinner, plan a night out, give him a massage, DVR his favorite show, send him encouraging texts or just cuddling with him. Men want to be nurtured at times and once they feel that you will support them unequivocally and listen without judging they do open up. It takes time though. Regarding the phone, doll, you can’t go through his phone! It makes him feel that you don’t trust him.
I think you should apologize to Brady and allow him to vent and express his emotions. Listen to him and acknowledge his hurt feelings. If you promise not to do something again (ie – try to break into his phone), stick to your work. Otherwise, he’ll start feeling you’re only trying to appease him by saying what you think he wants to hear. Be supportive and understanding of Brady’s long hours. Next time, he gives you his credit card to use, think before buying anything too extravagant or ask him how much you can spend. That way he’ll know you respect and are responsibly with his finances. You’ve made so much progress since you began this blog:) I know you feel terrible but remember everyone makes mistake. Learn from this and keep getting better!
🙂 don’t worry, i’m not keeping them. does your husband still bottle things up? commenters made me realize that brady probably doesn’t open up to me for a reason which i feel really bad about. i wish i was there for him more.
My husband is interesting..lol. He comes from a culture (Greek) where men showing emotion is considered a sign of weakness, so when we first started dating it was hard for him to open up and share whatever was bothering him. It took some time but he started opening up more and more, now we’re at the point where we tell each other everything. I’ve realized that my husband doesn’t want me to try to solve his problems for him, he needs me to be supportive and encouraging. I’m the type that wants to make everything better whereas he is the type that needs to do things on his own. We’ve learnt to compromise and we’ve found the right balance that works for us.
It’s quite possible that Brady is the type of man that doesn’t feel comfortable sharing his issues or maybe he’s afraid that will make you see him in a different light. I suggest talking to him and telling him how you feel. Let him know that you want to be there for him and supportive of him. When he’s working late or from home do little things to show that you care (dinner, massage, even giving him a little space) and try asking him subtly about his work situation and his family. You and Brady have only been together for a few months. It takes time to get to know someone fully or be able to open up completely to another person. Right now I think you should work on rebuilding trust. I know you trust Brady and vice versa but he might be feeling that you don’t (phone incident). Once you rebuild the trust and start communicating honestly, everything will fall into place. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad…learn from your mistakes and continuing growing as a person. You’re a young woman. When I was 25 (that makes me sound so old but I’m only 30!) I made tons of mistakes but I learned from them and moved on. I know you will too.