I was livid. 

I have enough self awareness to know that I shouldn’t have made that comment about Brady being a cheater, but I didn’t realize that it would blow up so quickly and so badly. It was a flippant, snide remark — I didn’t even really think about it before I said it. It was wrong, I get that.

But I was mad at Brendan for making assumptions about what I said, accusing me of being mean and then fucking off to Montreal with his stupid friends and then ignoring my entire existence while he was there. He texted me when he landed, I said, “K,” (I was mad!) and then I didn’t hear a peep out of him all weekend. He posted a ton of Instagram stories: video of the sick ass hotel lobby, the view from his room I guess, Kendall, a poker table, an enclosed rooftop pool overlooking the city, the gym, etc. Like he was having a great time. Eventually I deleted the Instagram app on my phone so I wasn’t tempted to check his story every hour. I didn’t want him to get the false sense that I cared. Because I didn’t. And I hoped he wasn’t having that much fun.

I was mad at Caroline for immediately telling Brady what I said. Like I said, it was a flippant comment. She could’ve waited until they were alone to tell him or she could’ve asked me later for clarification or she could’ve said nothing at all! That would’ve saved a lot of drama. Sure, I could’ve not said it, but she could’ve also not run to tell Brady. It’s like she was looking for a moment.

Most of all, I was mad at Brady. What an asshole. He’s blown up at me before, but not like that and not so publicly. He basically insulted me — calling me a child and a liar — and made us both look bad. What happened to being cordial? And if he wanted to yell at me, he could’ve done it when we weren’t in front of people. I was truly not expecting that, hence why I didn’t have much to say back. Mr. Scared of Drama sure caused a scene.

I was still pissed when I dropped Winnie off at Brady’s on Saturday morning. Mainly because I hadn’t spoken to my boyfriend in two days and it was all Brady and Caroline’s faults. And I’d had time to think so I was just waiting for them to come at me.

The house was quiet and dark when I let us in. Usually Caroline popped up out of nowhere to greet us at the door, like she lives there.

“Daddy?” Winnie called, clearly creeped out as well.

Brady was standing in the kitchen on a phone call using his work jargon like “fluid” and “milligrams” so we went around the house finding all of Winnie’s favorite things that she’d missed during the week. I don’t typically go anywhere besides the kitchen or living room, but noticed that all of the artwork, mirrors and decor had been taken off the walls. Once I got Winnie settled on the couch with a YouTube playlist going on her iPad, I went back to the kitchen. Brady was no longer on the phone, but was texting or something.

“Are you happy with yourself?” I started to say, but Brady put his hand up.

“I have no desire to talk to you,” he said.

“I have no desire to talk to you either, Brady, especially after the way you spoke to me the other night,” I said.

“So unless it’s about Winnie, then I don’t really care,” he continued, ignoring me.

“And now everyone at Winnie’s school is talking about her scary dad.”

“Are they talking about her psycho mom as well?”

“So I hope you’re embarrassed.”

“I’m not.”

“You are a cheater, by the way. You’ve been with Caroline for over a year apparently and you definitely kissed me and who knows who else during that time…”

“Then what does that make you?”

“And if I’d gotten the chance I could’ve explained to her that not only did you kiss me, but you were the one trying to get back together with me while you were with her…”

“I’m serious, Reese. I don’t want any relationship with you outside of Winnie. I’m done,” Brady said.

“Same! Done!” I said.

“Good,” he said and then went back to his phone.

I expected more of a blow up honestly, or for him to yell at me again, but neither of us even raised our voices. On my drive home, I kept thinking of other things I wish I would’ve said since obviously we wouldn’t be talking about the situation again.

I tried to keep myself busy over the weekend, but I can’t even lie, I spent most of it in bed. I went to a couple workout classes and brunch with Lola, but spent most of my time pretending not to check my phone for messages from Brendan. Or even Brady, to be honest. I thought maybe he’d come to his senses and apologize for being an asshole. Not a chance!

I knew Brendan was getting back from his trip on Sunday evening and I thought he might text me to let me know he was home, but nothing. Hmm, maybe his plane crashed.

On Monday morning I got back on Instagram and saw that Brendan had gotten home and immediately went to hang out with his sister. And he was actually working and replying to emails on Monday (which he hardly ever does anymore) and to me it seemed like he was doing it so I knew he was ignoring me. Then that night, he sent me one of those ASMR videos of a dog getting groomed on Instagram.

I. Was. Fuming. Now I was mad at him for essentially defending Caroline the other night before even asking for my side, for the way he left, for not speaking to me while he was on vacation and now for sending me a dog video like I gave a FUCK.

On Tuesday morning, Brendan texted me saying, “I’m back from my trip.”

OBVIOUSLY. I texted back, “K.”

He waited until way later that night to say, “And I brought you something back.”

Brendan usually brings me something from the various trips he takes: something small and thoughtful, but ultimately inconsequential. Like artisan chocolate.

“Oh, thanks,” I said back.

Clearly we were in a fight so I wanted him to talk to me about that — not pretend like everything was fine and he hadn’t ignored me for like 5 days straight. If he wasn’t going to bring it up then I’d confront him about it eventually…but I was still holding out for now.

We’ve been shopping around for this certain software at work to replace the old, outdated one we had been using. I’ve been bitching to Mike about it for years and then he finally approved it, gave me a budget and put me in charge of finding a replacement. Stuff like this is always sort of fun in theory, but it’s really time consuming and the salespeople can be super pushy and annoying. Which is their job, I guess.

One of these salespeople is a guy named Cooper. Cooper is your typical sales guy: super outgoing, cocky, slightly fratty, with an answer to absolutely everything. The first few calls we had went nowhere because he kept wasting time showing me fancy features we didn’t need. I said, “We are a small company and our budget doesn’t allow for that nor would we use it.” The next time he tried to veer off track I’d be like, “I have a tight schedule today, Cooper, please don’t waste my time.” And that seemed to work.

Cooper came to the office for a demo and then took me to lunch. Another perk of doing these sales meetings is they always treat you to meals or send gifts… you know, to try to win you over. We probably weren’t going to go with his software (too expensive and when cheap-ass Mike saw the prices of the alternatives he said it would be stupid), but Cooper still kept in touch. He’s from Wisconsin or Ohio or something and since I lived in Chicago, he equates me to a Midwest girl. I’m literally born and raised in Texas, but sure. And okay, I held off on telling him we weren’t going to choose the software he was shilling so he’d continue sending me donuts and office supplies and wine to the office. What? Like you wouldn’t?

The rest of the week went by. Winnie got sick and I had to stay home to take care of her. And while I was home nursing my child back to health, Brendan messaged me and asked if I wanted to hang out. I’d barely heard from him all week.

“I can’t. Winnie’s sick,” I said.

Brendan texted back that he hoped she felt better and did we need anything?

“No,” I said.

He said, “Okay.”

Truly, I wasn’t even trying to be a bitch anymore, but my main concern was Winnie. She’d been getting sick quite a bit and she was miserable. 

Then Brendan said, “My dad and I are going to the cabin to do some work in the morning. I’ll be back on Saturday or maybe Sunday.”

Ughhh. I did not expect to still be fighting with him. We usually always hang out on Friday evenings — we order take out and watch TV with Winnie until she falls asleep and then stay up late talking about literally everything under the sun. It obviously wasn’t entirely his fault (Winnie was sick after all), but I was annoyed that we hadn’t resolved anything and he was going away again.

By Saturday, Winnie was feeling a little better and still wanted to go to her dad’s for the weekend. I sent Brady a quick text warning him that I’d be dropping off a slightly sick child and he said, “I will take care of her.”

Like I wasn’t taking care of her? Whatever! Caroline wasn’t there again when I dropped Winnie off and I wondered if Brady was now keeping her away from me (which would be absolutely fine!) or if they were on the rocks. Like Brendan and I were.

Later that evening, Jasmine texted wanting to go out. The last couple of times she texted me asking to go, I’d flaked on her and I thought of doing the same again. But then I thought, no; I’m not going to sit at home feeling bad for myself, I’m going to go out and have fun!

We made plans for sushi and then we’d go to the little Asian fusion lounge she loves where we’d probably meet up with her drug dealer. I wore a denim dress (with pockets), a sherpa bomber and boots by Isabel Marant. It was a very Jasmine inspired look because she always looks so cool.

And listen, I really like Jasmine, but something about her is so…surface level. I don’t know. Like at dinner, I was trying to complain to her about Brady and Brendan and she just kept saying, “Oh wow,” “That’s insane,” and “So then what happened?” Like she wasn’t even listening. And I get it, maybe she doesn’t think my stories are interesting or maybe she finds me boring, but she never tells me anything either, no matter how hard I dig. I’m like, “How’s work, tell me about work?” “What’s going on with your wedding? Is it all planned?” “Miguel left the bar with his 23 year old associate, are you okay with that?” and she always just stares at me blankly and gives the vaguest answers that don’t even address the question.

By the time we got to the lounge, I was toasted from drinking a zillion fruity cocktails laced with Japanese whisky. Jasmine walked up to the bouncers and hugged and kissed them because I guess she’s royalty there.

“You good?” one of the big black men asked me.

Which meant I probably wasn’t good and needed to slow down.

But I didn’t! We ordered drinks and danced and then were escorted to “VIP” (a couple of roped off couches) randomly because Jasmine is royalty, remember? And I don’t really drink like I used to so this was all a lot for me.

Jasmine’s drug dealer friends showed up eventually and joined us in “VIP” and ordered more drinks and shots. And then Cooper and his group of friends showed up. Cooper, the sales guy? Yeah, him. I don’t know who invited him, but he was there too (spoiler: I invited him).

Jasmine and I were up on the sticky leather couch dancing along to the DJ. At one point my drunk ass fell forward, almost face planting off the couch, and I grabbed Cooper’s shoulders to steady myself. He thought I was trying to get down so he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down from the couch. He held onto me and whispered something about “little cowgirl” in my ear. Ew.

I don’t really remember much else.

I woke up still in my denim dress and it had a big puke stain down the front of it. Lovely. I felt like shit, obviously. I changed out of my ruined dress, showered and then got back in bed. Hangovers hit different in your 30s. AKA I was on my deathbed. I would never drink again.

While I was laying there in bed, I went through my phone to see what damage I’d caused the night before. I started to read through my message thread with Cooper and then immediately slid to delete because no. Just no. Jasmine had for some reason sent me a pic of a shirtless Miguel at 4:30 in the morning with the caption “What I get to come home to. 🙄” He looked ragey and trashed in the pic and I deleted that too. I did not need shirtless pics of Miguel infecting my phone even if he is really hot.

Eventually I got up because I really needed carbs (a bagel) and the place I like closes at 2 on Sundays. Plus, my pale pink nails had mysterious black streaks stained on them from whatever I got into the night before so I needed to get them done before work the next day. I looked like I was on heroin. I got dressed in baggy Agolde jeans, Ugg slides, my Sherpa from the night before and sunglasses to hide my 30+ year old hangover.

Brendan finally called while I was picking up my bagel. I’d forgotten about him! I didn’t hear it so I missed the call but when I got back outside I saw that he’d texted to.

“You home?” he said.

“No,” I said.

“Okay,” he said.

“I’m getting my nails done. I’ll be home later,” I texted him.

“Okay,” he said again.

I was like, ugh. What was the purpose of that if he wasn’t even going to ask to hang out or to see me? What the fuck ever, I was so over it!

The nail tech made a face at my nasty nails and ordered me to sit down. I was not in the mood for the theatrics — I’m sure she’s seen worse. I got settled in the chair and tried not to vom at all the fumes I was inhaling. It was packed and loud and I was kind of ready to die again. She was still shaving off my old polish when the door swung open and Brendan walked in. I was like, oh. I always go to the same place so I guess he was in the neighborhood and knew where to find me. He waltzed right over to me and squeezed me in a hug from behind and kissed my cheek. Like everything was normal!

My nail tech gestured to the adjacent station to let him know to use the empty chair to sit next to me. So he scooted the chair closer and plopped down next to me. We didn’t say anything right away. Don’t forget, it had been over a week since we’d really talked.

“Did you go out last night?” Brendan finally asked.

I turned to him and slowly nodded. I guess I really did look like shit.

“You still smell like alcohol,” he said and not in a funny, joking kind of way.

I burst into tears. Mind you, I still had my big sunglasses on and my hands were soaking in bowls so I was just there shaking and sobbing and couldn’t really do anything about it. The nail tech sighed, dried her hands off and then attempted to hand me a pile of paper towels before handing them to Brendan instead. Like she’d been in this situation before. For context, this was after my dad told me about my mom and I’d basically kept it bottled in since he told me.

Brendan just stared at me, waiting for me to explain I guess. It wasn’t the right place to share the development about my mom nor was I even sure that I wanted to tell him, but it just came tumbling out.

“My dad told me that my mom is an alcoholic and I’m really upset about it because I should’ve known and I want to help her and…”

Brendan listened and nodded as I told him everything my dad told me. Once I was finished, he said, “I am really sorry to hear that. Is that why you haven’t been yourself?”

I shrugged. Probably.

“My mom is an alcoholic too,” he said.

“She is?”

You know what didn’t make me feel better? That. Brendan’s mom abandoned him and his family and they have basically no relationship. But I did appreciate him coming to find me because I already felt slightly less on edge with him next to me.

“Yeah. When I was a little she used to walk around with a Thermos filled with vodka and one day I drank from it.” He smirked. At least he could laugh about it now, I suppose.

I started crying again and answered/hiccuped the follow up questions he asked like have I suggested treatment to mom and I explained that she hadn’t even admitted to me that she has a problem. And he said other things that I’m sure he’s supposed to: don’t blame yourself, this has nothing to do with you, she has to want to help herself, etc.

What I was thinking and didn’t want to say out loud: I was afraid that one day that could be me.

This is going to sound bad, but I started to avoid phone calls from my dad. Every time his name popped up, I had a panic attack thinking he was going to tell me the news I’d been dreading: my mom was in the hospital with liver failure or she’d driven drunk and killed herself or someone else or he was divorcing her and she was going to have to figure this out on her own. So I ignored his phone calls and waited until he sent a text telling me what he wanted. If I didn’t hear about it then maybe it wasn’t really happening.

Meanwhile, Winnie started school and she absolutely loves it. I figured she would. She loves waking up and getting dressed in the outfit we picked out the night before and the short walk to her school where we always see the same 3 cute fluffy dogs who she is obsessed with. Her best friend is a girl named Olivia, who is basically Winnie in a different font. They’re adorable! And since Winnie loves school so much she’ll be going 5 days a week in starting January. I haven’t run that by Brady yet, but I can’t imagine he’ll have an issue with our child furthering her education. And like I mentioned in my last post, Brady was being a lot nicer to me. Well, maybe nice isn’t the right adjective — but he was cordial, and not actively being rude to me. After we figured out Winnie’s school stuff and we had nothing else to fight about, I guess he had no choice. He was clearly happy in his new relationship and he got out of having to pay for school like he said he would so he had no reason to be mad or mean.

It probably helped that Caroline was almost always at Brady’s house on Saturday mornings when I dropped Winnie off. Which is when I would spend the most time (arguing) with Brady. He couldn’t be mean to me in front of his sweet new girlfriend, could he?

So Brady would half heartedly ask how I’m doing or how my week was and then fuck off to do something else before I could answer. See, he was attempting, but can’t help being an asshole.

Whatever! I was starting to like Caroline, mainly because of how much she seemed to like me. Brady would ask questions and then walk off, but then Caroline would say, “Tell me everything!”

Gladly! I’m like, “My week was fine except I might have to fire my babysitter because she had a manic episode the other night while I was at dinner with my boyfriend so we had to leave. It was really weird and scary.”

“That is so crazy!” Caroline said and she seems way too earnest for it to have been sarcastic.

“I know!” I said back.

Brady was a few feet away and didn’t even bother asking for more details. If he told that story, I’d want to know more!

I guess since we talked about me so much Caroline wanted to open up about herself as well. She told me about work and the grueling 24-hour shifts she has to work since she’s new and how she nearly failed out of college her freshman year because she partied so much. Same bestie! She also opened up to me about how her mother battled breast cancer for most of her childhood and it gave her bad anxiety. This was before everything really kicked off with my mom, but I felt for her.

One day, she even asked to follow each other on Instagram. This was great for me because her account is private and now I could really dig into who she is. But I’m like, “Oh god, this girl really wants to be friends.” I liked her enough, but I wasn’t trying to become friends. Who even knows how long she’s going to be around?  

Lo and behold, Caroline is just as sweet and average and basic as I thought. What? Her Instagram is filled with monthly photo dumps of her “stinky” dog, unflattering candids of her eclectic group of friends and faux artsy nature shots. Very little sign of Brady outside of the occasional story. Most interestingly, she has a few reels posted that I can only categorize as “cringe” — morning routines as a nurse, skin care routine for a 28 year old, and GRWMs that I’m sure no one asked for. I guess she does have really nice skin, to be fair. It’s just weird to me that she’s cosplaying as an influencer with a private Instagram profile.

Anyway. Once the school year was in full swing, Winnie’s school had another wine night an evening “activities presentation” (whatever the fuck that meant) followed by a wine networking hour. This school sure likes to provide wine. I was like, fine — I guess if they insist, I’ll make an appearance. Obviously I invited Brendan to tag along with me and he said he’d go with me. He’s basically Winnie’s stepdad at this point and the following day he was leaving for a long weekend in Montreal with some of his friends so I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. I forwarded the invite to Brady’s email, but he didn’t confirm if he was coming. I figured he wouldn’t since it was at 6:30 PM on a weeknight and you know those are peak Brady working hours. Plus this was just an excuse to socialize/drink, it was not important for him to be there at all.

This was on one of the first nights it got chilly in New York so I wore straight leg MOTHER DENIM, booties by Aquazzara and a chic Veronica Beard blazer draped over my shoulders. I wanted to serve old money cool mom. Brendan on the other hand wore a head to toe Under Armour ‘fit (hoodie and joggers with a vest) like he was about to go warm up before a soccer game or something so I was beyond annoyed by that. I had emphasized that the night was supposed to be super casual, but still. We looked like fucking Justin and Hailey.

But I guess that didn’t really matter anyway. The event was basically just three tables set up in the school’s main hallway advertising the different activities each child could sign up for and a fourth table where a guy was pouring wine. And it turns out, not only was Brady coming to wine night, but he was bringing Caroline as well! For fuck’s sake! As much as I was growing a soft spot for her, I didn’t see why she needed to be at all of Winnie’s school functions. She’s basically still a child herself!

Brendan and I were standing there gabbing with Olivia’s parents (the mom, Victoria, was bitching about their nanny and I was waiting for her to finish so I could bitch about my babysitter). We hadn’t visited any of the displays and Winnie’s teacher had already confronted us about how Winnie and Olivia are both good and smart students, but were picking up bad habits from each other. Excuse me? Did I ask for feedback? This wasn’t exactly hard to believe as Winnie can be a bit of a troublemaker, but it wasn’t easy hearing that my perfect little angel isn’t perfect. So we’d have to work on that.

“She’s like an energy vampire,” I was telling them about my babysitter. “Every time I speak to her she trauma dumps and I never know what to say. Obviously I want to distance myself, but I don’t have a replacement.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brendan lift his hand to wave at someone. Uh, hello? I turned and saw Brady and Caroline making a beeline for us, each with a glass of wine in their hand. Ugh. I shot Brendan a look and he stopped waving.

“Hi Reese! You look so great!” Caroline said, still waving. “Hi Brendan!”

“Thanks,” I said. I get that she’s sweet and all, but I could feel a cavity forming. I really needed her to settle down.

“Hi, I’m Brady,” Brady said to Olivia’s parents before I could introduce them.

“Winnie’s dad,” I clarified in case it wasn’t obvious. “And this is Caroline.”

“Or Cara!” she chirped.

“We’re Olivia’s parents,” Victoria said.

“Olivia and Winnie are besties,” I explained.

“I know. Winnie tells me about Olivia all the time,” Brady said.

“Does she really?” I asked because I didn’t believe him.

“Yes, Reese,” Brady said in that Brady sort of asshole way and shot me a bombastic side eye.

I rolled my eyes back. Whatever. We all stood there sipping our wine while everyone got to know each other. You know, the typical “where are you from, what do you do, where did you go to school?” These people love talking about where they graduated from. I’m like, I went to the biggest party school in the country and barely survived, NEXT! Turns out, Caroline and Olivia’s dad have the same alma mater, but she graduated 11 years after he did. Because she’s fucking 28.

“Does that make you like, Gen Z?” I asked in a judgy tone.

“Uh, nope. I’m definitely a millennial,” Caroline said, giggling. “It’s so funny though because I’m a super young millennial and some of the characteristics—”

Blah blah blah.

So we all started talking about the city (no one grew up in the city except Brendan) and neighborhoods (I gladly mentioned that Brady and Caroline both live in Connecticut) before they started talking about inflation and the economy. I guess Olivia’s dad is a Wall Street dude. They kept mentioning their “portfolios” including Caroline which annoyed me because now I want a portfolio. Then they started talking about Bitcoin which turned into stocks which turned to business. I didn’t understand any of that other bullshit they were talking about, but I could definitely talk business.

“All I know is whatever Kim has done with Skims is genius and should be studied in marketing courses,” I said.

“You don’t think it’s because she’s a Kardashian and arguably the most famous person in the world?” Brady said like I’m fucking stupid.

“Uh, actually I don’t. Obviously it’s helped, but just because she puts her name on a brand doesn’t automatically make it successful. Hence why her other ventures haven’t been,” I said. I couldn’t believe Brady, who doesn’t have a single business savvy bone in his body, would try to argue with me about Kim Kardashian.

Brendan touched my shoulder. “I’ll get you another glass of wine. Unless you want to leave?”

Leave? So then Brady and Caroline could try to steal my new friends? Absolutely not.

“No, I’ll take more wine please,” I requested.

Once we all had more wine, we started talking about the October break for the kids (they were taking Olivia to Disney, ew and I had nothing planned for Winnie). Then we were talking about Thanksgiving and how quickly the holidays were approaching and Caroline mentioned Hanukkah. I was like, wait, is Caroline Jewish? I didn’t want to flat out ask because it doesn’t make any difference to me, but there’s so much about her I don’t know! Does Brady’s mom know he’s dating a Jewish girl? Caroline also brought up something about Brady’s birthday “last year” that made me wonder how long they’ve been dating. From what Brady told me, I assumed that they started dating earlier this year. Didn’t he say that they’d been together for a “couple months” in May when he first told me about her? This would need some investigating.

Eventually, they started folding the tables back up and we were almost the last group left. It was like last call at the club.

“It’s not even 9, I don’t want to go home,” Victoria said. “Should we get a drink next door?”

“I’m off tomorrow so sure!” Caroline enthused.

“I’m not, but we can stay for one drink,” Brady said.

“I have an early flight,” Responsible Brendan said.

“We can stay for one drink too,” I assured him because again, Brady and Caroline were not going to steal my new friends away.

But I should’ve listened to Brendan.

The six of us walked down the block to a dirty little dive/pub. I love New York. Brendan grabbed my hand on the walk and said, “You good?”

“Uh, yeah! Why wouldn’t I be?” I said back.

“Dunno. Just checking.”

He could probably sense that things were going downhill. I mean, it was weird right? Why exactly were we having a drink with my ex/baby daddy and his current girlfriend? The conversation wasn’t going that well. And I really needed to get home to relieve my emotionally unstable babysitter. But here I was.

We got inside the bar and found the one table that wasn’t covered in trash.

“I’m going to the bathroom!” I announced before even sitting down.

“I’ll come with you, I need to go too!” Caroline said.

“Okay, what do you want to drink? Wine?” Brendan said.

“Yeah!” I said.

“Same for me!” Caroline said to whoever was listening.

We scurried to the bathroom and each went into a stall. I discovered that Caroline is a pee-talker. I’d rather not with her.

“Ah! Don’t you fucking hate breaking the seal?” she asked over our peeing.

“I don’t really mind,” I said. I don’t think I’d ever heard her curse either.

“Plus I’m so icked out by bar bathrooms, like I feel I’m going to catch chlamydia from this toilet seat,” she continued.

I ignored her and finished up. She met up with me at the sink.

“I always love how you’re dressed,” she said. “I hope I’m hot as a mom, but I’m afraid I’m going to get fat and lose all my hair.”

What? While I appreciated her saying all that, I really only had one thing on my mind.

“So how long have you and Brady been together?” I asked. It totally didn’t matter, but it did matter to me because I wanted to know.

Caroline’s face lit up as she pretended to rack her brain. She strikes me as the kind of girl who has their anniversary written down in several places. “Officially since last September. We were casual for a few months before that.”

For no reason at all, my stomach dropped. This was in September. “A year?”

“Yeah. It flew by!” she said.

A whole fucking year.

“Well, he’s a cheater, so…” I blurted out. I don’t know what possessed me to say that to her, but I said it.

“What makes you say that?” Caroline asked.

I didn’t answer and left her in the bathroom. I guess I called him a cheater because we had that make out last year when Brendan and I were fighting, that was in October. And if they became “official” in September then he definitely had no business making out with me. And if he was casually dating Caroline, then why did he come to my birthday dinner at the end of the August? And then in December, his other ex, planned a birthday party for him, remember? This was after I’d gone through his messages and saw that they were hooking up again over the summer. When did Caroline even come into the picture? And then in February, OF THIS YEAR, he was still asking me if I wanted to get back together and work out our relationship. While he was actively dating Caroline! I assumed that he asked me, I said no and then he got with Caroline. So yeah. Totally a cheater and shady overall.

I got back to the table and was glad to see that my wine had appeared. Brendan was talking to them about the trip he was taking and Olivia’s dad was acting like a know-it-all with his recommendations even after Brendan told him that he’s already been to Montreal several times. Caroline came back to the table and I avoided eye contact with her. Maybe — if she was lucky — I’d explain my comment to her one day.

Olivia’s dad started speaking French with a crude accent which offended me and I’m not even French. Victoria was cringing and begged him to stop, but he and Brendan thought it was funny.

Suddenly Brady blurted out (rudely), “Reese, I never fucking cheated on you. Are you serious?”

The whole table quieted and looked at us. Oh, so Caroline left the bathroom and immediately told him what I said? Nice.

“I didn’t say you did,” I said which is technically true. I never said he cheated on me.

“You’re such a fucking child. Unbelievable. Are you ever going to grow up? Seriously! You’re such a liar,” Brady continued, sounding aggressive and heated.

“Do not speak to me like that,” I said calmly. What else was I supposed to say?

“Aren’t we a little old for your fucking games? Honestly. Grow the fuck up.”

Caroline just stared at me while her man yelled at me.

Finally Brendan said, “That’s enough.” He’d previously just been sitting there, sipping his drink and not saying anything.

“Fucking ridiculous,” Brady muttered under his breath.

“I think speaking that way to a woman is ridiculous,” Victoria said quietly to just us.

And while I completely agreed, couldn’t Brady have saved his little outburst for another time? Maybe a time when other people weren’t around to judge us (but mostly him)? Whether we liked it or not we were connected through Winnie and now we looked bad. Caroline continued to stare at me. I couldn’t wait to never speak to her again.

“Anyway,” I said loudly.

So, yeah. Brady and Caroline quickly downed the rest of their drinks, politely said goodbye and then left and we headed out after that. On the walk back to my apartment, I was like, “I am so embarrassed. I told you Brady is an asshole. I’m sorry about him, that was so unnecessary.”

Brendan said stuff like, “I agree that was rude, you don’t have to apologize, etc,” that made me think he was on my side. He was like, “If anyone should be embarrassed, it’s him.”

And I was like, “So true! Thanks!”

Winnie was already in bed when we got upstairs and Claire (babysitter) went into a 15 minute sob story about how she’s being treated unfairly at work. She was on the verge of tears. See what I mean? I just wanted to spend some time with my boyfriend before he went on his trip. Eventually I pretended to yawn and asked her to text the rest of it to me so I could go to bed (and she absolutely texted me the rest of the story in four long paragraphs).

So then Brendan and I went to my room and fooled around for a little bit and then we had sex. And it really bothered me because do you remember how I said previously that sex with Brendan is different because he takes his time and focuses on me and is just really sweet about it? Idk. But not this time. He got on top of me, fucked me hard until he was finished and then he started putting his clothes back on. I was like, uhh…okay.

Brendan cuddled me for a bit and then he said, “So did Brady cheat on you? You never told me that.”

So he just wanted to fuck quick so we could go back to talking about this?

“He didn’t. At least not that I can confirm,” I said. I don’t have any proof, but I’m pretty sure Brady did stuff behind my back.

“Then why did you tell Cara he did?” Brendan asked.

“Uh, I didn’t.  Are you just assuming that’s what I said or are you going to ask me?” I said.

So he wasn’t even there for the conversation, but believed Cara based on what he observed at the bar? How presumptuous!

“What did you say?”

“I told her that he’s a cheater,” I said simply.

“Well, why did you say that if he didn’t cheat on you? Were you just being mean?”

What the fuck?

“No! I said that because he’s a cheater and he’s cheated on her!” I exclaimed.

“Okay…” Brendan paused. “With you?”

“No!” I screamed. “Why are you questioning me about this? Why do you even care?”

“Just asking,” Brendan said innocently, like any of that was innocent.

“Thanks for immediately taking her side and assuming I’m the one being mean. You don’t even know her!”

“I’m not. That’s why I asked,” he said.

“This doesn’t concern you so you don’t have to ask!” I screamed/yelled. “God, I am so fucking annoyed!”

“Okay.”

I could tell Brendan was annoyed at me, but I was annoyed at him too. It was so unnecessary for him to come at me like that especially after I’d already been attacked by fucking Brady. He sat there for a few minutes not saying anything.

“I still need to finish packing and my flight is early,” he finally said.

“Yeah, I know you have an early flight. Goodbye!”

I laid in bed while Brendan finished getting dressed then he kissed me and left and didn’t talk to me at all while he was in Montreal.