I really need to stop having meltdowns in nail salons. To his credit, Brendan sat there with me and allowed me to cry and vent and did his best to make me feel better. I can’t say that if the roles were reversed I could’ve sat with him while he sobbed like his life was over so I appreciated that. Like get a grip!

“So how was your trip?” I asked once my Menty B miraculously passed. You know how those things always go!

“Fine,” Brendan said matter of factly, like he wasn’t sure why I was asking.

“I thought you would send me pictures or text me while you were away,” I said.

And then Brendan said, “I think we both needed some space from each other.”

I guess I didn’t realize that he needed space too. I hadn’t really considered his feelings at all, if we’re being honest. I always forget that Brendan has feelings as I’m not used to men having them. “Oh yeah, same!”

“Yeah.”

“Have you had enough space from me?” I asked.

“Yeah. However,” he said. “I don’t understand what happened the other night, but I am really not okay with the way you behaved toward me.”

Oop! The nail lady looked up and I looked at her so she pretended not to be listening.

“So have you had enough space?” Brendan asked.

Typically, I would’ve pushed back and defended my actions (as far as I’m concerned my response was appropriate seeing as how he took my enemy’s side) and pointed out the fact that he was okay with me getting yelled at, but I was being the one held accountable? I was not okay with the way he behaved toward me either! But truthfully, I had had enough space and I didn’t want to argue with him in the busy nail salon with so many nosy ears.

“For sure,” I answered.

He’s lucky I love him because the whole situation seemed overly dramatic. I’ve since accepted that I was wrong for telling Caroline that Brady is a cheater (he is), but I maintain that Brendan was not on my side after that altercation and I did not appreciate that!

So I guess we got over that, but I needed to be on my best behavior because despite how it may seem I don’t actually enjoy fighting with Brendan. And you know what? Next time Winnie’s school had a wine night, I would be going alone.

So anyway. Brendan convinced me to go and see my mom and I guess I am thankful for that extra push because you know I probably wouldn’t have gone otherwise. And he kept wanting to know how she’s doing and it’s like, fuck if I know, I’m avoiding her like last season’s Balenciaga! And besides I had other things to worry about.

As I mentioned before, Winnie had been getting sick a lot. A cold here, an ear infection there, a stomach bug in between. My poor little baby! It’s a shame she got her immune system from her dad because mine is impeccable. She used to get ear infections a lot when she was younger, but I thought she’d grown out until they came back with a vengeance over the summer. Brady would always take her to her primary doctor in Connecticut and inform me of the outcome (usually a short round of antibiotics and then babygirl was good as new). A couple weeks after cheater-gate, Winnie got sick again. Admittedly, Brady and I were in a very rough place. I guess when he said he was done with me he really meant that! I didn’t even understand why because personally I was over our fight and I thought he should be too. Especially considering Caroline was posting pictures of them together on Instagram so they were still happily together. So since he was still mad, I was now mad again too.

So anyway, Winnie got sick and I asked Brady (via text) to schedule an appointment and take her to the doctor on Monday.

“Why can’t you take her?” he texted back.

Uhh. “Because she’ll be with you on Monday. And her doctor is in Connecticut, where you live. Why would I take her?”

“Because you’re her mother. I don’t understand why you can never take her and it’s always up to me,” Brady said.

“And you’re her father. Wtf? Why is this suddenly a problem?”

He said, “It’s not a problem, but you need to prioritize finding Winnie a doctor in the city if you don’t want to bring her here.”

Who was he to tell me what I need to prioritize? Like he’s my boss? And what if I didn’t, was he going to fire me? We went back and forth and he accused me of being “entitled.” Me, entitled? I mean, maybe, but not for this reason.

“I’ll just take her then. It’s literally not a big deal,” I finally said since he was making it one.

“No, I’ll take her,” Brady said.

Hmph, exactly as I thought! You see how he just argues with me for the fun of it? What a waste of time. There was absolutely no point in any of that except I actually was going to find her a doctor near us so I didn’t have to ask Brady for a goddamn thing.

On Monday, Brady called. I was horizontal on my office floor trying to unwind after a 2 hour meeting with Mike. He’s so fucking exhausting.

“Hi,” I answered.

“Hello,” Brady said. “Winnie needs to have an adenoidectomy.”

I sat up. “A what? What the fuck is that?”

“She needs her adenoids removed.”

“Why? What is an adenoid?” I asked. I’d never heard that term before in my life.

He explained to me what the doctor told him about an infection and a buildup of fluids (fluids is officially my least favorite word in the dictionary) and that they’d need to put her to sleep to remove the excess tissue and—

“So like surgery? No. She’s a baby,” I said.

“Well, if we don’t do it then she will keep getting sick. And when she gets sick like that it becomes hard for her to breathe. And with fluid building up I am afraid it could lead to permanent damage like hearing loss…” Brady said.

I started crying. What? Trouble breathing? What was he even talking about? Surgery? Permanent hearing loss? I never thought her illness was this serious.

“I know,” Brady sighed, which is perhaps the most sympathetic thing he’s ever said to me. “But we’ve always known this would be a possibility. I told you that, didn’t I?”

Brady and his fucking “I told you that, didn’t I?” clueless bullshit! It’s beyond irritating! But I didn’t even care because now I knew and I was inconsolable.

“So we don’t have a choice?” I said.

“Not really, no,” he said. “We were thinking of doing the procedure on Friday or Monday. Whichever you prefer.”

I sobbed.

“It’s going to be okay, Reese,” Brady said calmly. “It sounds scary, but it’s an extremely common and routine surgery.”

He talked me through  the procedure and recovery and we decided to schedule it for Monday, that way I could stay home for the remainder of the week to care for her. Brady briefly acted like he would be able to do it, but we all know that Brady doesn’t ever take off work.

I was distraught over Winnie having surgery, but if I’m being honest, it’s what got Brady and I (and Caroline by association) back on speaking terms. I was feeling slightly better by Saturday (no thanks to Brendan who had taken it upon himself to scour Google to find real stories of children having the surgery and possible complications) and Brady and I discussed everything again. I’d briefly explained to Winnie that she was going to be having a procedure — I didn’t think Brady had the emotional capabilities to do it — and maybe I hyped it up a bit too much because now she was excited about it.

Brady said something like he was glad I was feeling better about it and I was like, I’m really not, I just literally don’t have a choice. And do you know that Brady grabbed my shoulder and he hugged me?

He’s like, “I can assure you you have nothing to worry about.”

I was mostly just shocked that he was touching me. Brady doesn’t ever touch me on purpose, not since that time we accidentally made out. His thin body felt familiar, but super weird and I kind of recoiled. So he didn’t touch me again. Thank God.

Brendan actually hung out with me all weekend which was a nice distraction because otherwise I probably would’ve sat at home alone drinking myself into oblivion.

But by Monday, I was a wreck again. Obviously I took the day off so I could go to the doctor with Winnie and support her and make sure everything went smoothly. And do you know who else was there for support? Little Miss Caroline. I hadn’t seen her at all since the altercation, but the last thing I was worried about was her. She was already at Brady’s early Monday morning when I got there like she’d spent the night (on a school night? Good for them).

“Hey Reese! Nice to see you!” Caroline said like we were all good.

“Hi, same,” I said back.

Brady was standing there and I told him how scared and freaked out I was, thinking he’d comfort me like he did over the weekend. But instead he was like, “Calm down, there’s no reason to be scared. If Winnie sees you upset then she’s going to be upset, etc.” All dismissively. So I guess not.

Caroline said, “I know you’re thinking about everything that could go wrong, but think of everything that could go right, which is more likely.”

She and Brady started talking to me about how quick and simple the surgery is and how the doctors are really skilled and all this stuff. Basically nerding out together with their medical jargon. And I guess maybe it worked because I was less worried about Winnie’s surgery and more focused on the fact that these two nerds made much more sense as a couple than me and Brady. Dare I say, they even looked better together? Together, to be clear. Like two cute, vanilla suburbanites!

So anyway, that’s how Brady, Caroline and I got back on speaking terms. Like nothing ever happened! Winnie’s surgery went well and she was almost back 100% by the following day. So despite my initial reservations, I’m glad we went ahead with the surgery. Not only did Winnie stop getting sick every other week, but it brought her parents back together!

Caroline couldn’t wait to resume our relationship. She really likes me. I can’t really blame her, of course, but I figured she might be a bit…apprehensive about me after everything that happened.

But nope. She went full steam ahead and we picked up right where we left off. She tells me everything like how she was adopted from a Southeast Asian country (my mom was apparently correct), but her parents won’t tell her which country because they don’t want her to go searching for her birth parents (very LVP of them). So I guess I would be getting her a 23&Me test for Christmas. And she opened up to me a little bit about her exes which stemmed from a conversation about how she is not into Asian guys. This was the first kind of weird thing she said.

I was like, “Oh really? I don’t discriminate.” I date anyone. Well, I used to. My only requirements were that 1. He was flashy and generous with his money and 2. He treated me like an afterthought.

One Saturday morning, Caroline and I were sitting at the island chatting. She had apparently gotten a lot more comfortable because she was still in her cute oversized pajamas despite it being after 11 AM. Absolutely no judgment, but it was out of character for her. She told me about how she and Brady went to some concert in the city on Thursday night and they had fun even though they were an hour and half late because they’d taken mushrooms. I was like, oh?

Brady normally doesn’t get involved in our conversations at all, but came over to change the subject. Like he didn’t want me to know that they were doing drugs together on a weeknight. Noted! It was particularly annoying because it was hard to get Brady to do anything with me during the week when we were together because he was either working at the hospital or at his computer at home, but whatever. Maybe he’s realized the error in his ways.

Maybe it was the casual mention of hallucinogenic drugs or the drama she stirred up at the bar that one night or the fact that her Tesla has had rear end damage on it for months or that her stinky sausage dog shits all over Brady’s home, but Caroline seems more chaotic than I originally thought. She always came off as this perfect good girl, but perhaps she’s not as put together as she seems. And that made me like her more.

So things were back on track with Brady (and Caroline), Winnie was thriving and Brendan was hardly working and spending a lot of time with me — in between all of his random, various trips, of course. And Winnie and I were spending a lot more time over at his place rather than our apartment. His place is sort of bachelor-y, but it’s so big and modern and nice and it feels like a vacation there. We can all actually fit in his kitchen to cook together (one downside of my new apartment is that the kitchen is small and closed off and makes me claustrophobic so I don’t use it) and sleep together in his big, comfy bed. When Brady used to bring Winnie in the bed, it would infuriate me, but somehow I’m fine with it now. Maybe it’s weird, I don’t know, but I love our little makeshift family. And I don’t even mind that Winnie has to go stay with her dad for half the week because I know how much she loves him and that she has fun over there and it gives Brendan and I some alone time. Not even just for sex, but to go out and have expensive adult dinners and stay out late and drink too much. And with Brendan working less, he’s definitely more available, but he’s always doing stuff. And I was totally jealous of his freedom and the fact that I can’t just do whatever I want during the week with him.

Miguel and Jasmine were getting married in Puerto Rico in November and Brendan suggested we go to Florida for the week prior and then head down to the wedding so I was looking forward to that. We were leaving early on Tuesday morning and I worked in the office that Monday. I couldn’t wait to slam my laptop shut and ignore my emails for the remainder of the week.

Mike called after lunch.

“Come holler at me when you have a chance,” he said.

Since when does Mike say “holler”? He’s Italian from New Jersey as far as I’m aware so this verbiage made zero sense to me coming from him.

“K, I’m coming now,” I said.

I figured he wanted to catch up before I left for my vacation where I would absolutely not be able to be reached. Mike was sitting at his desk, doing something on his iPad when I sat down. He didn’t look up. Mike has this habit of working with his iPad with it on his lap and when he’s sitting behind his desk it always looks like he’s diddling himself. So I looked out the window because it’s all I could think about.

“Paige is supposed to be back next week,” he said, not looking up.

As a reminder, Paige was our VP, who is nice enough, but totally useless. Mike has put her on a performance improvement plan in the past and she had to take a very long leave of absence due to all the stress. She had a baby over the summer and we haven’t really felt her absence (thanks to ME since I’ve been covering for her). I kind of forgot she was even due back.

“But she just emailed me her resignation,” he continued.

“Oh my god,” I said, not even trying to hide my smile. Of course she fucking milked her entire four month mat-leave before quitting. Hilarious.

“I know. It’s fucking bullshit, but HR will handle it,” he said.

“For sure.”

“Anyway, I know you’re leaving for vacation and you’re focused on that, but I wanted to see if you wanted to take over as VP,” he said.

“Oh,” I said.

“You’ll keep doing everything you’ve already been doing with the project management, you’ll work closer with me on strategy and our partners on development and it’s a significant pay rise. Significant. I don’t need an immediate answer because I know you have your vacation, but I wanted to gauge your level of interest.”

Mike finally looked up at me and to my shock and horror, I burst into tears. What the fuck is wrong with me? I totally deserved a promotion and a raise and I should’ve shouted “YES!” but I was jealous of Brendan’s freedom, remember? I was trying to work less, not more and I was looking forward to Paige coming to take her job back. I wanted more time to spend with my boyfriend and my baby and I wanted to take impromptu trips as a family and I just didn’t want to be working until 6:30 every night. With a new title, official responsibilities and more money, I would have no flexibility to do that. I wouldn’t just be covering for someone, it would be my actual job. I’ve always been career driven so on one hand I was excited and flattered, but mostly I felt dread.

“Really?” Mike said. “I don’t know what this means.”

“Can I think about it?” I said, sobbing. “I will think about it on vacation and let you know when I get back.”

He had basically no reaction to my crying and said, “We are going to look at outside candidates.”

“K,” I hiccuped.

“But I want you.”

I nodded. “K.”

And then I sulked back to my office because my day was now ruined.