stop saying that.

Brady and I both had Friday off from work so we slept in then I went to my apartment to prepare for my parents’ arrival. Their flight was getting in on Friday around noon and I planned on taking them to a nice lunch. My mom informed me that they landed and were picking up their rental car then said that my dad wanted to stop at a vintage store near the airport then told me that she’d bought an end table, drapes, two chairs and a large piece of artwork from the vintage store and asked if I had any recommendations for how she could get it home to Houston? Only my mother.

I got dressed and continued waiting. My mom said they were going to grab a quick bite to eat and have a drink then they would be over. I didn’t hear from her for two and a half hours so I called her. She answered the phone and it was obvious she was drunk.

“I’m sorry, babe. Your dad is tired so we are going to go to the hotel and rest. Can we meet up with you in the morning?” she said.

Ugh. Are you kidding? I said sure and hung up then called Brady to tell him what happened. He suggested we get dinner on our own so I put on a dress and heels and waited to be picked up. We ended up going to a restaurant with a patio and eating our food outside. Naturally we got drinks to go with dinner and continued drinking after we finished eating. Once we were good and tipsy we walked down the street to a bar. I honestly can’t remember much, but from my Snapchat story I gathered that we danced a lot, made tons of friends and ordered nachos. I also remember meeting a group of girls and Brady buying a double shot of tequila for all of us. Thanks boo!

My mom finally called to hang out on Saturday morning. I was hungover and in Brady’s bed and she insisted they come over even though I told her I could meet up with them somewhere else. I think she just wanted to see his place because she’s nosy. I asked Brady to make me something to cure my hangover then showered and put on high rise shorts and crop top. My mom kept calling for directions because they kept getting lost, but she couldn’t tell me where she was. I’m like, “Mom, what are the cross streets?” and she’s like, “I don’t know, I see trees and a stop sign.”

Thanks. So helpful. And when they did finally find it, it took them fifteen minutes to find parking. I met my parents at the gate and my mom squealed when she saw me.

“This is so cute! It’s so Manhattan!” she said.

We hugged then I led them inside.

“Bradyyyy,” my mom called out and I said, “Mom,” irritably.

Bae appeared and my mother said, “Brady, I love what you’ve done with the place. A little minimalistic for my taste, but it’s really nice. You should put a piece of artwork here.”

“Thank you,” Brady said and my mom pulled him into a hug.

And then she demanded a tour. Basically she wanted to give him tips about how to decorate and make suggestions for things he needed to buy. She even said, “Reese hun, I can’t believe his home is this bare when you work in your industry.” I looked at my dad and rolled my eyes.

After the tour, we poured wine and sat on the patio. My mom was dominating the conversation as usual and eventually asked what kind of alcohol we had on hand. So I took her inside to our fully stocked bar so we could make drinks. She put some ice in a glass, filled it about 3/4 of the way up with vodka then splashed about a shot of orange juice in. She made another for my dad. I made Brady and me tequila spritzers then we took everything back out to the patio.

Soon, we were all pretty drunk and my mom was sitting on my dad’s lap demanding I take pictures of them for Snapchat. We decided to call an Uber to take us to this touristy bar my parents wanted to go to. It’s one of the only bars my mom has been to in Chicago so she likes to name drop and pretend she knows the city.

At first I wasn’t going to drink much so I could keep an eye on my mom, but then I realized that my dad had it under control and ordered a margarita pitcher. And Patron shots. It was actually really fun because my dad and Brady are besties and teased me and my mom a lot. I feel like my dad brings out a really playful side of Brady that I hardly see. He’s so serious sometimes and my dad really isn’t. We ordered a pizza at the bar and naturally I scarfed down three slices. It was actually really disgusting, but I was too drunk to care.

We went back to Brady’s when we left the bar. It was going to get dark soon and we wanted to watch the fireworks from the patio. I was starting to think the bartender gave me some sort of fake, cheap Patron because my tummy was doing flips the entire way home. Patron never makes me sick. As soon as we got inside I went to the bathroom and started puking. Like, I didn’t even make it to the toilet.

I’m not exactly sure how long I spent wrapped around the toilet, but I kept passing out and waking up to throw up some more. It was so revolting. And all the garlic and pepper and shit from the pizza hurt coming back up. When I finally felt like I’d puked everything I could, I got up and found my bag and phone on Brady’s bed. He had texted me twice. One said, “My parents are here,” and the other said, “Will you please come out here?”

It took me about ten seconds to realize that Brady meant his parents were currently where we were, at his duplex, where my parents also were. Wait. Fuck! Without thinking, I opened the door and ran down the hallway. I didn’t check my face and hair in the mirror, brush my nasty barf teeth or put on something instead of my crop top and shorts so I was a mess. I followed the sound of voices to the area between the living room and kitchen where Brady, my parents and his parents were standing. I heard my mom saying something about how she “loves that city” when everyone turned to look at me. I immediately looked down avoiding eye contact and waited for them to continue their conversation.

After a moment of silence, they realized that I wasn’t going to say anything so my mom continued talking, raving about the food in a city I didn’t hear the name of. I snuck a look at Brady and he was looking at me like he was concerned. I shrugged and frowned hoping clueless Brady would understand that it meant I felt like shit and needed all the parents, especially his, to leave.

“Hmm. And how are you?” Brady’s mom asked me after my mom said a whole paragraph without pausing to breathe.

I realized how rude I’d been by not even saying hello when I walked in. “Hi. I’m sorry. I’m not feeling well. We had this awful pizza. How are you?”

Brady’s mom looked at Brady and her husband then back at me. “We’re doing fine.” I noticed her glance down at my chest and clasped my hands in front of me self consciously.

“Reese and Brady took us to one of my favorite bars while we’re in town. I wish we would have known y’all we were here!” my mom exclaimed.

Can you imagine Brady’s parents taking shots at the bar with us? I can’t and don’t want to.

“Oh, really?” Brady’s mom said back looking unimpressed.

“I just love hanging out with them. Brady is always so nice and polite when I see him. You raised him right,” Mom continued. Please note that this was only the second time she’s met him.

“We appreciate that, Jackie,” Brady’s dad said. “We are certainly proud of him. Did he tell you that he’s getting sent to Africa for two months to help with vaccinations?”

I was too busy wanting the whole encounter to be over to realize the magnitude of what Brady’s dad said.

“Oh! Africa!” my mom said.

“That’s commendable,” my dad piped up. “Reese, why don’t you go along with him and make yourself useful?” He laughed and no one laughed with him.

“It sounds dangerous, but I think it’ll be a great learning experience,” Brady’s mom said, sounding bitter.

“I always told Reese she should go into the medical field. She’s so smart. But she’s so creative. She needed to put that creativity to use,” my mom said. I can’t remember one time she suggested I go into the medical field, but I wasn’t about to say that.

“Oh,” Brady’s mom said and gave me the once over. Obviously I couldn’t be taken seriously as a doctor in my attire. “And what is it that you do?”

My mom looked caught off guard. “I have a masters degree in psychology. I’m a licensed therapist.”

Really?” Brady’s mom said sounding completely shocked. “Where did you study?”

My mom told her the name of her alma mater and Brady’s mom shook her head. “I’ve not heard of it.”

We all stood there for a moment then Brady’s dad said, “It was great meeting you two and seeing you again, Reese. We have a bit of a drive to make to get back to the hotel.” He shook my parents’ hands then I saw Brady’s mom give Brady a stern look.

“I’ll walk you guys out,” he said and the three of them walked toward the door.

“She’s nicer than I expected,” my mom said. “You made her sound like a raging bitch.”

“She isn’t nice at all,” I replied, dumbfounded. “She thinks I’m an idiot.”

“Well, if you want her to be your mother in law one day then you better try harder. Compliment and schmooze her more. She just needs to be buttered up.”

My dad said, “How do you feel about your boy going to Africa for two months?”

“I don’t really care,” I answered immediately even though I obviously do care. I thought about Brady not telling me such an important thing and the way his mom was looking at me like I’m some sort of trollop and I felt a wave of tears coming on. “I’ll be right back.”

I walked back to Brady’s bathroom, took one look at myself in the mirror and started bawling. I had dark rings under my eyes from my mascara and my hair looked like I just had a sex marathon and Brady’s parents had seen me like that. I was so upset. I laid on top of the white bedding and cried. A little while later I heard the door open and Brady say, “What’s wrong with you?”

I didn’t reply and felt him sit on the bed.

“What’s wrong, Reese?” he asked again sounding exasperated.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re going to Africa?” I sobbed.

“I’m not going!” he yelled.

“Why did your parents say you were?” I sniffled.

“Because they think I am. I turned the opportunity down, but I didn’t tell them. Calm down.”

“What did they say about me?”

“Nothing.”

“Yes they did! Your mom hates me. And she probably hates my mom now too!”

“No she doesn’t,” Brady said, standing up to leave. “Please get up. Your parents are out here waiting for you.”

A few minutes after Brady left I got up and brushed my teeth and washed my face then changed into a t-shirt and shorts. My parents were ready to retire back to their hotel so we said our goodbyes. They were leaving early Sunday morning so we promised to visit them soon.

After my parents left we had really amazing sex. (And by the way, thanks for all the birth control advice. I’m going to try to get an appointment with my doctor as soon as possible because I completely stopped taking mine.) Afterwards, we laid in bed and Brady tried to cuddle me, but I decided we were going to pillow talk instead.

“Why doesn’t your mom like me?” I asked.

“She does like you,” Brady replied automatically. His eyes were closed and he didn’t open them to talk to me.

“No she doesn’t. Do you see the way she looks at me? She obviously thinks I’m a thot,” I said.

“A what?”

“A thot. She thinks I’m some Obama loving bimbo.”

Brady was silent for so long that when he sighed I knew some sort of truth was about to come out.

“I think she’s just curious about what we have in common. I don’t think she really gets you.”

“Obviously she doesn’t get me. No one does.” I felt some more tears coming on. But it really did make me think – do Brady and I have anything in common besides liking to drink and having sex with each other?

“I get you. I don’t care if they do or not,” Brady said, pulling me close and I finally let him cuddle me again.

I woke up on Sunday morning and took the longest shower of my life. After I got out I woke Brady up and asked to go to breakfast. We went to a restaurant downtown and I ordered about half the entire menu. I was starving.

While we waited I said, “I can’t believe you didn’t mention anything about Africa to me.”

“I’m not going to Africa. Why would I?” Brady said.

“Because your parents think you are and I was caught off guard when they brought it up. I feel like you just never tell me anything.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep anything from you, but since I decided not to go, I didn’t see any reason to tell you.”

“Maybe because I’m your bae and you’re supposed to tell me everything.”

“Okay.”

After breakfast I suggested we go to the pool at my apartment even though I had eaten over half my body weight. We laid out for a few hours then went to my apartment and napped because we are bums. I woke up to Brady grabbing my butt which is a great way to wake up. He flipped me over and ate me out for a little while until I got on top.

“Ahh, Reese,” he moaned because obviously it felt amazing. “Will you marry me?”

“Stop saying that,” I said sternly because I’m sick of him getting my hopes up and then him chickening out. But usually when Brady asks me to marry him or something, he’s drunk or high but he wasn’t under the influence of anything. Except my… Never mind.

“Okay.”

Immediately after we had sex, Brady got dressed and said he was going home. I nodded and told him to have a good rest of the day and he said okay. I wanted him to tell me to come with him because we are inseparable and he didn’t want me out of his sight, but that didn’t happen.

So I just cleaned and did work all night. I missed Brady even though it had only been hours since we saw each other. We spend like all of our free time together so I just felt weird that I was home hanging out by myself. Like it kind of hurt which is really scary because I don’t want to be that obsessed with him and attached to him.

We didn’t talk for the rest of Sunday, but when I woke up this morning (Monday) he had texted me telling me to have a good day off. I wonder if he’s annoyed at me for telling him not to ask me to marry him. I don’t think he has any right to be though because he’s the one who always pretends it never happened.

How was everyone else’s weekend? Tell me you got drunk and hung out with your boyfriend’s parents in a crop top and booty shorts too so I feel better?

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33 thoughts on “stop saying that.

  1. Britt says:

    I feel like Brady’s parents expect too much from him. They clearly have incredibly high standards and I feel like that’s why Brady is always so serious; but I’m glad he was able to let loose with you and your parents. It’s obvious he enjoy’s their company.

    I want you to know that since I’ve been reading your blog for the last year, you have matured so much! I know you were having doubts about people “getting you”/whether you and Brady have anything in common, but he wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t think that. I get you! And many of the other readers do, even though you only give us a small glimpse of your life. Don’t doubt yourself, don’t let Brady’s mom make you feel inferior or intimidate you. You have a great job, friends, boyfriend, family, apartment, wardrobe, etc. You’re taking the steps to become a better person, and if his mom (or anyone else) can’t see that, they’re blind.

    Sorry for the pep-talk, but I’ve been in a similar situation with a past bf’s parents and I know how it feels, it can be shitty. Ultimately you just have to say fuck it and do you.

    • awe thanks so much! it really means a lot to hear this kind of stuff because I’ve been second guessing myself a lot lately which I used to never do.

  2. Brady’s mom makes me anxious and I’m not even the one dealing with her. That’s so stressful, I get why you feel bad. People like that would make ANYONE feel bad about themselves. She definitely seems to have the mentality of Brady being a superchild (with the bragging about him going to Africa) and I doubt she would think anyone is good enough for her son. Try not to beat yourself up about it.

    • she stresses me out too, I cannot imagine having someone like that as my mother. I think she does think of Brady as a superchild and wands to kind of plan his life out for him so when he doesn’t do what she wants him to do she’s unhappy.

      • lbermont says:

        Yeah, it’s probably made worse by his brother. I’m sure their mom thinks that Hunter realllly has fucked up a lot, and she probably pins all of her hopes on Brady now. I’m so glad that his parents don’t live in Chi.

  3. Brady’s mom sounds really condescending. I don’t think I like her. But I’m glad he isn’t leaving cus I would’ve been upset if he were and didn’t say anything. You guys really need to talk about the marriage thing too. He can’t keep saying that to you just because he feels like it. It isn’t fair.

    I have those same shorts! But mine don’t fit cus I’m fat πŸ’”

  4. Kristin says:

    I wouldn’t stress about anything being off with you and Brady since you were apart last night and only got a text this morning. You can’t read too much into guys, there’s not much there.

    As for the whole marrying thing, you should tell him not say it while you’re sitting on his face and to only say it when he means it and is hopefully down on one knee with a ring in his hand.

    I felt nauseous after drinking Patron last week too.

    I spent the past week at the beach with my husbands family. They definitely saw me drunk, pigging out, without make-up and wet hair, and fighting with my husband because he was so drunk. While they were all reading nice highly rated books on the beach, I was reading shopaholic. It doesn’t matter what they think, all that matters is that my husband loves me and there’s nothing they can do about it πŸ™‚

  5. kelseyxsays says:

    Brady’s mom is a prissy, condescending bitch. If I were Brady, I would be super embarrassed. Also, I agree with LBermont that I would not take *anything* about Brady’s moms existance to heart. She seems like a miserable, vile woman. Be thankful you do not live close.
    I would have been upset about Brady not telling you about Africa, also. He might have thought you wouldn’t care since he decided not to go; but it’s just the principal. It makes him seem completely disconnected from the relationship that he wouldn’t even share that kind of opportunity with you. But I guess at this point, that may just be Brady’s personality and he may never be any different. Either love it or hate it, ya know? The whole “I want to marry you” act is getting old though. I will never see that being an OK thing to do and then keep pretending it didn’t happen; unless the next time he does it, he is going to pop a giant rock out afterwards. That’s the only time it will be OK. lol I hope you will talk to him about this.

    Also, I mean absolutely NO offense by this so I hope you don’t take it that way because this is an observation from the blog’s context ONLY, but does your mom have a drinking problem? I am not trying to be mean. But I worry for you (because she is your mom) and for her. Everytime she is mentioned, alcohol is usually also mentioned. I just find it concerning as a reader, but maybe this is just your normal. So, like I said, please do not be offended.

    • no offense taken. no my mom is not an alcoholic and neither am I. we both like to drink in social settings but we don’t drink alone and we don’t depend on it. I understand and I appreciate your concern though. I would say be careful asking someone a question like that, especially someone you don’t really know. im not offended at all but I could see how it could be offensive and rude.

      • kelseyxsays says:

        I really don’t think I was being rude in this situation, as when you write a public, personal blog about your life it kind of opens that door. I would never just walk up to some random person with no back story and ask that question. As I had said, this was asked after my personal observation based only on what you write in your blog.

      • kelseyxsays says:

        Either way though, I am glad she is OK. I just get a weird vibe but that is just me! That’s all. Best of luck.

      • kelseyxsays says:

        Yeah, I just get a weird feeling like something is going on because she seems all over the place. But AGAIN, this is based purely on what you write in your blog. You obviously know her better than anybody else!! πŸ™‚ She comes off kind of eccentric, but she seems like a very lovely person and of course a very supportive mom. That’s what counts. It’s not even my business, so I am sorry for bringing it up now. lol!

      • kelseyxsays says:

        HAHA, you are totes right. I see where you are coming from now. No doubt your mom was/is probably the cool mom in your group of friends. Don’t hate me for my comments πŸ™‚ haha I love your blog. I almost wrote you on twitter telling you not to hate me. hahahah.

  6. Y says:

    Brady’s mom is condescending. The way she acts is not okay and it’s especially not okay to speak to your mom the way she did. Don’t worry about her judging you. You shouldn’t apologize for who you are. Maybe get to know her a little more but definitely don’t try to change for her. In my opinion she should be ashamed of her behavior and not you. She isn’t superior to you or your family and she needs to quit acting that way. Good for you for telling Brady to stop the marriage thing. Maybe you should tell him why you did so he doesn’t think you were being dismissive. I’m glad your parents are doing okay now. I feel like we say this all the time but I wish Brady could be more open. It sounds like his upbringing has a lot to do with the way he is so I wouldn’t hold my breath of him changing. But you should tell him that for important things, you expect him to share with you. It’s not nice to be blindsided by information like that about your long term boyfriend.

    • I cant believe I’m still having to ask him to be more open with me and we’ve been together for almost a year. I have to like beg him to tell me things. so yeah I guess he isn’t changing.

  7. It’s annoying that Brady never mentions anything to you. My boyfriend would’ve AT LEAST definitely shared that he got offered the opportunity. It makes it seem like he really doesn’t want to talk about anything of substance with you. What do you guys really have in common?!?!

  8. Luita says:

    Sometimes I wonder about Brady. Did he know his parents were coming over? Why didn’t he go look for you when you weren’t coming out?
    I’m sorry Reese it must’ve been awful that his parents saw you like that. But it seems like your mom handled them well. I know it seems that they don’t like you but I feel like you are doing nothing to change that. You need to fake it til you make it. Try a really harder, be nicer to them. When you showed up it would’ve been nice if you went up to them and said hi. I’m not judging you because I bet you felt awful and that’s why you didn’t want to get close to them, I’m just giving you advice.
    Does Brady really just say ok when you ask him to not say something? That would drive me crazy! Maybe just elaborate and tell him why you said that, he probably thinks you don’t want to marry him now. It’s amazing to me how he can be so bad at communicating. How are you guys supposed to work out your “issues”?

    • I thought about that too and decided that he probably didn’t come find me because he didn’t want to leave our parents along together. there definitely needed to a buffer at all times. and I completely agree, I hated the way I acted when Brady’s parents showed up. I wish I would have been more friendly and nicer but I guess there’s nothing I can do now. 😦

  9. Brianne says:

    I had to laugh at this post. Why in the world would you wear that outfit with your parents? You are worried about his parents but disregard your parents. Show some respect.

    • kelseyxsays says:

      Um. I wholeheartedly disagree with this. If you are offended by what she is wearing that badly, then I do not know how you even walk a public street because it’s everywhere!? It’s not like Reese dressed in red pleather and knee-high hooker boots. Eesh.

  10. Bella says:

    I feel for you with Brady’s parents. My boo’s parents are similar… not so serious but I always feel lesser when I’m around them because I am definitely a more creative type – I guess the best thing that someone has suggested to me – in fact my boo did – is that you just need to try your best to remember that it doesn’t matter what they’re thinking. Whatever you do, whatever your interests are, are pretty much none of their business and don’t make you a bimbo just because you think differently. Hold your head high girl πŸ™‚ You’re a unique, fun loving person and who knows, they could even be a tad envious of you and Brady!!!
    I agree with Luita about the marriage thing. Maybe just mention to him that you don’t want to not get married altogether, just not like that.
    I wish I could be wearing crop tops right now, it’s 13Β°C here in Sydney… like 53Β°F.

    Thanks for posting!

  11. Sara says:

    I think you need to let go of what Brady’s mom might or might not think about you. You’re right. She doesn’t get you, but Brady does and that’s what counts. She sounds like a cold fish. ( see my previous comment a few posts back about Arrested Development. Brady’s mom IS Lucille Bluth. In fact, I dare you to watch that show and not think of Brady’s mom. Netflix has it streaming. Just saying. Also, if you can laugh to yourself at her in some way, I think it will go a long way to alleviating any anxiety she causes you. Kinda like having to speak in public and imagining your audience is naked to kill the stage fright. Oops. Yuck. Now I am thinkng about Brady’s mom naked. Gross. And I don’t even know what she looks like. I need another glass of wine. And some sleep.)

    I do think you need to clarify to Brady about the marriage comment in that I think you should tell him that he can ask you, but you have reached a point that you want him to ask you when he is serious about it and has a ring box in his hand. That interchange brought to mind you turning him down once for sex when you got back together and he backed off for two weeks after that. He overreacts and tends towards passive aggressiveness. Nip that in the bud right away.

  12. Raycheese says:

    Sounds like a solid Fourth! I puked too… Went to the beach all day with friends and my parents! Hit the bar after, then decided I couldn’t wait an hour for a cab at midnight and called my mom to drive me and 5 other people home. Where I proceeded to eat EZ Mac and puke 6 times. Sunday was ROUGH.
    It’s awesome that ur parents let you do you!

  13. Nicole says:

    Don’t feel too bad, I got crazy drunk on Friday night and spent part of my life hugging the toilet sat morning and proceeded to throw up on the lawn of a golf course later that day (my boyfriends dad is retired and stays at this senior golf course during the summer). Needless to say, a bunch of old folks witnessed my shame. Happy Fourth of July to us!! Lol πŸ˜›

  14. Anon says:

    Am I the only one that doesn’t think you and Brady should be together? I’ve honestly thought this from the beginning. And as crazy as you can be (I mean lets be honest every girl has some crazy) it’s not your fault at all that Brady acts the way he does. I honestly think that you deserve better…what do you guys even have in common? He can’t communicate and it doesn’t even seem like he’s trying.

    Like when you picked out the ring in Florida (which I personally thought was kind of out of line) and he was so condescending when he said no because you weren’t there yet but then he asks you to marry him whenever he’s drunk/high/fucking you???? He has some serious issues of his own and I don’t envy your relationship. It seems like you are constantly trying to get him to open up to you and it just isn’t happening.

    Reese you’re definitely making strides to being a better person/girlfriend but it doesn’t seem like Brady is putting in the same effort for you to be a better boyfriend. Again just my opinion on what you have shared with us! I wish you nothing but the best and I absolutely admire your strength in putting your life out there for us to read. Keep doing what you’re doing πŸ™‚ you’re really amazing!

      • Anon says:

        I didn’t want to make you sad! I just think you deserve to not have things sugar coated. You’re a wonderful person and you’ve made some serious strides in bettering yourself and I don’t think that Brady is the right kind of guy for you. Don’t get me wrong he’s a nice guy but you just need more. And you deserve more.

        My husband was just like Brady when we first started dating and it took me a few months (and finally an ultimatum) to get him to open up because I just couldn’t be with someone who answers things with ‘I don’t know’ or ‘okay’. It just seems like Brady isn’t ever going to be open with you and it makes me sad that you’re putting all this effort in and not getting anything in return

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