Brady and I both had Friday off from work so we slept in then I went to my apartment to prepare for my parents’ arrival. Their flight was getting in on Friday around noon and I planned on taking them to a nice lunch. My mom informed me that they landed and were picking up their rental car then said that my dad wanted to stop at a vintage store near the airport then told me that she’d bought an end table, drapes, two chairs and a large piece of artwork from the vintage store and asked if I had any recommendations for how she could get it home to Houston? Only my mother.
I got dressed and continued waiting. My mom said they were going to grab a quick bite to eat and have a drink then they would be over. I didn’t hear from her for two and a half hours so I called her. She answered the phone and it was obvious she was drunk.
“I’m sorry, babe. Your dad is tired so we are going to go to the hotel and rest. Can we meet up with you in the morning?” she said.
Ugh. Are you kidding? I said sure and hung up then called Brady to tell him what happened. He suggested we get dinner on our own so I put on a dress and heels and waited to be picked up. We ended up going to a restaurant with a patio and eating our food outside. Naturally we got drinks to go with dinner and continued drinking after we finished eating. Once we were good and tipsy we walked down the street to a bar. I honestly can’t remember much, but from my Snapchat story I gathered that we danced a lot, made tons of friends and ordered nachos. I also remember meeting a group of girls and Brady buying a double shot of tequila for all of us. Thanks boo!
My mom finally called to hang out on Saturday morning. I was hungover and in Brady’s bed and she insisted they come over even though I told her I could meet up with them somewhere else. I think she just wanted to see his place because she’s nosy. I asked Brady to make me something to cure my hangover then showered and put on high rise shorts and crop top. My mom kept calling for directions because they kept getting lost, but she couldn’t tell me where she was. I’m like, “Mom, what are the cross streets?” and she’s like, “I don’t know, I see trees and a stop sign.”
Thanks. So helpful. And when they did finally find it, it took them fifteen minutes to find parking. I met my parents at the gate and my mom squealed when she saw me.
“This is so cute! It’s so Manhattan!” she said.
We hugged then I led them inside.
“Bradyyyy,” my mom called out and I said, “Mom,” irritably.
Bae appeared and my mother said, “Brady, I love what you’ve done with the place. A little minimalistic for my taste, but it’s really nice. You should put a piece of artwork here.”
“Thank you,” Brady said and my mom pulled him into a hug.
And then she demanded a tour. Basically she wanted to give him tips about how to decorate and make suggestions for things he needed to buy. She even said, “Reese hun, I can’t believe his home is this bare when you work in your industry.” I looked at my dad and rolled my eyes.
After the tour, we poured wine and sat on the patio. My mom was dominating the conversation as usual and eventually asked what kind of alcohol we had on hand. So I took her inside to our fully stocked bar so we could make drinks. She put some ice in a glass, filled it about 3/4 of the way up with vodka then splashed about a shot of orange juice in. She made another for my dad. I made Brady and me tequila spritzers then we took everything back out to the patio.
Soon, we were all pretty drunk and my mom was sitting on my dad’s lap demanding I take pictures of them for Snapchat. We decided to call an Uber to take us to this touristy bar my parents wanted to go to. It’s one of the only bars my mom has been to in Chicago so she likes to name drop and pretend she knows the city.
At first I wasn’t going to drink much so I could keep an eye on my mom, but then I realized that my dad had it under control and ordered a margarita pitcher. And Patron shots. It was actually really fun because my dad and Brady are besties and teased me and my mom a lot. I feel like my dad brings out a really playful side of Brady that I hardly see. He’s so serious sometimes and my dad really isn’t. We ordered a pizza at the bar and naturally I scarfed down three slices. It was actually really disgusting, but I was too drunk to care.
We went back to Brady’s when we left the bar. It was going to get dark soon and we wanted to watch the fireworks from the patio. I was starting to think the bartender gave me some sort of fake, cheap Patron because my tummy was doing flips the entire way home. Patron never makes me sick. As soon as we got inside I went to the bathroom and started puking. Like, I didn’t even make it to the toilet.
I’m not exactly sure how long I spent wrapped around the toilet, but I kept passing out and waking up to throw up some more. It was so revolting. And all the garlic and pepper and shit from the pizza hurt coming back up. When I finally felt like I’d puked everything I could, I got up and found my bag and phone on Brady’s bed. He had texted me twice. One said, “My parents are here,” and the other said, “Will you please come out here?”
It took me about ten seconds to realize that Brady meant his parents were currently where we were, at his duplex, where my parents also were. Wait. Fuck! Without thinking, I opened the door and ran down the hallway. I didn’t check my face and hair in the mirror, brush my nasty barf teeth or put on something instead of my crop top and shorts so I was a mess. I followed the sound of voices to the area between the living room and kitchen where Brady, my parents and his parents were standing. I heard my mom saying something about how she “loves that city” when everyone turned to look at me. I immediately looked down avoiding eye contact and waited for them to continue their conversation.
After a moment of silence, they realized that I wasn’t going to say anything so my mom continued talking, raving about the food in a city I didn’t hear the name of. I snuck a look at Brady and he was looking at me like he was concerned. I shrugged and frowned hoping clueless Brady would understand that it meant I felt like shit and needed all the parents, especially his, to leave.
“Hmm. And how are you?” Brady’s mom asked me after my mom said a whole paragraph without pausing to breathe.
I realized how rude I’d been by not even saying hello when I walked in. “Hi. I’m sorry. I’m not feeling well. We had this awful pizza. How are you?”
Brady’s mom looked at Brady and her husband then back at me. “We’re doing fine.” I noticed her glance down at my chest and clasped my hands in front of me self consciously.
“Reese and Brady took us to one of my favorite bars while we’re in town. I wish we would have known y’all we were here!” my mom exclaimed.
Can you imagine Brady’s parents taking shots at the bar with us? I can’t and don’t want to.
“Oh, really?” Brady’s mom said back looking unimpressed.
“I just love hanging out with them. Brady is always so nice and polite when I see him. You raised him right,” Mom continued. Please note that this was only the second time she’s met him.
“We appreciate that, Jackie,” Brady’s dad said. “We are certainly proud of him. Did he tell you that he’s getting sent to Africa for two months to help with vaccinations?”
I was too busy wanting the whole encounter to be over to realize the magnitude of what Brady’s dad said.
“Oh! Africa!” my mom said.
“That’s commendable,” my dad piped up. “Reese, why don’t you go along with him and make yourself useful?” He laughed and no one laughed with him.
“It sounds dangerous, but I think it’ll be a great learning experience,” Brady’s mom said, sounding bitter.
“I always told Reese she should go into the medical field. She’s so smart. But she’s so creative. She needed to put that creativity to use,” my mom said. I can’t remember one time she suggested I go into the medical field, but I wasn’t about to say that.
“Oh,” Brady’s mom said and gave me the once over. Obviously I couldn’t be taken seriously as a doctor in my attire. “And what is it that you do?”
My mom looked caught off guard. “I have a masters degree in psychology. I’m a licensed therapist.”
“Really?” Brady’s mom said sounding completely shocked. “Where did you study?”
My mom told her the name of her alma mater and Brady’s mom shook her head. “I’ve not heard of it.”
We all stood there for a moment then Brady’s dad said, “It was great meeting you two and seeing you again, Reese. We have a bit of a drive to make to get back to the hotel.” He shook my parents’ hands then I saw Brady’s mom give Brady a stern look.
“I’ll walk you guys out,” he said and the three of them walked toward the door.
“She’s nicer than I expected,” my mom said. “You made her sound like a raging bitch.”
“She isn’t nice at all,” I replied, dumbfounded. “She thinks I’m an idiot.”
“Well, if you want her to be your mother in law one day then you better try harder. Compliment and schmooze her more. She just needs to be buttered up.”
My dad said, “How do you feel about your boy going to Africa for two months?”
“I don’t really care,” I answered immediately even though I obviously do care. I thought about Brady not telling me such an important thing and the way his mom was looking at me like I’m some sort of trollop and I felt a wave of tears coming on. “I’ll be right back.”
I walked back to Brady’s bathroom, took one look at myself in the mirror and started bawling. I had dark rings under my eyes from my mascara and my hair looked like I just had a sex marathon and Brady’s parents had seen me like that. I was so upset. I laid on top of the white bedding and cried. A little while later I heard the door open and Brady say, “What’s wrong with you?”
I didn’t reply and felt him sit on the bed.
“What’s wrong, Reese?” he asked again sounding exasperated.
“Why didn’t you tell me you’re going to Africa?” I sobbed.
“I’m not going!” he yelled.
“Why did your parents say you were?” I sniffled.
“Because they think I am. I turned the opportunity down, but I didn’t tell them. Calm down.”
“What did they say about me?”
“Yes they did! Your mom hates me. And she probably hates my mom now too!”
“No she doesn’t,” Brady said, standing up to leave. “Please get up. Your parents are out here waiting for you.”
A few minutes after Brady left I got up and brushed my teeth and washed my face then changed into a t-shirt and shorts. My parents were ready to retire back to their hotel so we said our goodbyes. They were leaving early Sunday morning so we promised to visit them soon.
After my parents left we had really amazing sex. (And by the way, thanks for all the birth control advice. I’m going to try to get an appointment with my doctor as soon as possible because I completely stopped taking mine.) Afterwards, we laid in bed and Brady tried to cuddle me, but I decided we were going to pillow talk instead.
“Why doesn’t your mom like me?” I asked.
“She does like you,” Brady replied automatically. His eyes were closed and he didn’t open them to talk to me.
“No she doesn’t. Do you see the way she looks at me? She obviously thinks I’m a thot,” I said.
“A thot. She thinks I’m some Obama loving bimbo.”
Brady was silent for so long that when he sighed I knew some sort of truth was about to come out.
“I think she’s just curious about what we have in common. I don’t think she really gets you.”
“Obviously she doesn’t get me. No one does.” I felt some more tears coming on. But it really did make me think – do Brady and I have anything in common besides liking to drink and having sex with each other?
“I get you. I don’t care if they do or not,” Brady said, pulling me close and I finally let him cuddle me again.
I woke up on Sunday morning and took the longest shower of my life. After I got out I woke Brady up and asked to go to breakfast. We went to a restaurant downtown and I ordered about half the entire menu. I was starving.
While we waited I said, “I can’t believe you didn’t mention anything about Africa to me.”
“I’m not going to Africa. Why would I?” Brady said.
“Because your parents think you are and I was caught off guard when they brought it up. I feel like you just never tell me anything.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep anything from you, but since I decided not to go, I didn’t see any reason to tell you.”
“Maybe because I’m your bae and you’re supposed to tell me everything.”
After breakfast I suggested we go to the pool at my apartment even though I had eaten over half my body weight. We laid out for a few hours then went to my apartment and napped because we are bums. I woke up to Brady grabbing my butt which is a great way to wake up. He flipped me over and ate me out for a little while until I got on top.
“Ahh, Reese,” he moaned because obviously it felt amazing. “Will you marry me?”
“Stop saying that,” I said sternly because I’m sick of him getting my hopes up and then him chickening out. But usually when Brady asks me to marry him or something, he’s drunk or high but he wasn’t under the influence of anything. Except my… Never mind.
Immediately after we had sex, Brady got dressed and said he was going home. I nodded and told him to have a good rest of the day and he said okay. I wanted him to tell me to come with him because we are inseparable and he didn’t want me out of his sight, but that didn’t happen.
So I just cleaned and did work all night. I missed Brady even though it had only been hours since we saw each other. We spend like all of our free time together so I just felt weird that I was home hanging out by myself. Like it kind of hurt which is really scary because I don’t want to be that obsessed with him and attached to him.
We didn’t talk for the rest of Sunday, but when I woke up this morning (Monday) he had texted me telling me to have a good day off. I wonder if he’s annoyed at me for telling him not to ask me to marry him. I don’t think he has any right to be though because he’s the one who always pretends it never happened.
How was everyone else’s weekend? Tell me you got drunk and hung out with your boyfriend’s parents in a crop top and booty shorts too so I feel better?