Brady and I got in a ton of petty arguments throughout the week. One night, I was playing Beyoncé in Brady’s room while he worked in the dining room. It wasn’t even that loud (at least I didn’t think so), but Brady came in the room like, “Do you know what time it is?”
I looked down at the clock on my laptop. “10:10? Why?”
“It’s late. Your music is loud,” he said.
“It isn’t even that loud,” I rolled my eyes. “Plus it’s Beyoncé so…”
“It’s inconsiderate.”
“Fine, fine, fine,” I sighed, turning the volume down.
“Would it kill you to at least pretend to care about other people?” Brady said and turned to leave.
“Excuse me?” I shouted after him.
He didn’t come back so I went back to my laptop and we didn’t mention it again.
Another night, I got home from work and lit a ton of candles because I’m going through a candle phase and I placed orders with Yankee, Bath and Body Works, Anthropologie, and Target. I couldn’t decide which scent I was in the mood for so I lit them all.
I started making dinner and waited for Brady to get home. I heard the door open, but Brady didn’t come find me right away. So I went to find him. He was in the living room blowing out all my candles.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey. You can’t just leave candles burning unattended this like,” he replied.
“They aren’t unattended. I’m right here.”
“They are unattended! It’s a fire hazard. You could burn this whole place down. Especially when they are burning this low.” He was pointing at one of the candles that was still almost halfway full.
“Oh my gosh,” I said, trying to stay calm. “It’s fine. It’s not a big deal. No reason to freak out.”
“Actually, it is kind of a big deal, Reese. It’s dangerous and incredibly irresponsible.”
“Oh my God, you’re so annoying,” I said and turned to leave. We ignored each other for a little while, but had make up sex that night.
The big blow out came on Friday morning. Brady was getting ready in the bathroom and I was sitting on the bed putting my mascara on. My parents were flying in later so I was listing off potential places we could take them for dinner.
“I don’t know if I’ll be in the mood for Asian, but we could try to get a table at Sunda. Or we could do Spiaggia. What do you think?” I babbled.
“I don’t fucking care, Reese!” Brady yelled. “Do whatever you want!”
I dropped my mascara wand on the white bed. “What the hell is your problem?”
“Just pick somewhere and we’ll go. You’re the only one who cares. Fucking pick something,” he said.
I finished up my makeup and stormed out without saying goodbye. Brady was being mean for literally no reason at all and I was not about to let him talk to me like that.
Later on in the day he texted me, “Hey, I’ll pick you up at 6:30, okay?”
The plan was that Brady would pick me up from work then we would pick up my parents from the airport and then go to dinner. I replied, “Whatever.”
When Brady came to get me, I got in the car and didn’t say anything. He tried to talk, but I ignored him. I knew I was being childish, but I thought he needed to apologize. So the majority of the drive to the airport was silent. Then Brady said, “So are you just not going to speak to me?”
“You’re an asshole. No, I’m not speaking to you,” I said.
“How am I an asshole?” he wanted to know.
“How?!” I repeated. “You screamed at me this morning for no reason. I just wanted to know where you wanted to go for dinner!”
“God, would you stop being so dramatic?” he said.
“I just think you should apologize. I’m not being dramatic. It was rude.”
“I don’t care where we go for dinner and I’m sure your parents don’t either. I can’t believe we are still talking about this.”
“Because. You. Were. Rude.”
“Okay, I’m sorry! Will you get over it now? Jeez.”
“No, I’m not over it,” I said and we didn’t talk for the remainder of the ride to the airport.
So dinner with my parents was kind of awkward. Brady and I didn’t want to talk to each other, but we couldn’t let it be known that we weren’t talking. I think my mom caught on at one point and looked from Brady to me and back a few times. She didn’t mention it though.
We dropped them off at their hotel then went home. Brady went to do work in the living room and I got in bed. Later on Brady came in the room and got undressed then got in bed with me. I had full intentions of ignoring him until the end of time, but he smelled so good that I just couldn’t keep my hands off.
I slid my arm around his neck and kissed him then he got on top of me. We proceeded to have sex and it was amazing. We didn’t say a word to each other or make eye contact. Lol. Once we were done, Brady said, “I love you,” and kissed me. Then we fell asleep.
Saturday was Kendra’s wedding. I had to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to prepare for everything. She didn’t do so many things I plan to do when I get married. Like hire a makeup artist and hair stylist. We literally all got dressed and did own hair and makeup in the hotel room. I thought we were supposed to be pampered! I ended up helping everyone with their makeup though because no one went full on glam except me and this was a wedding after all.
She also ordered a plain black limo to take us to the church. Personally, I would have requested something more white and bridal, but that’s just me. The ceremony was pretty basic, but I cried like a baby through the whole thing. I honestly felt like I was losing my best friend. I couldn’t even look at the guests because I was kind of mortified that I was crying like that. Carly noticed I was crying so she started crying too. She’s definitely one of those people who cries just because everyone else is. Oh well. I hope I didn’t ruin the wedding.
We went downtown to take pictures after the ceremony. I had to basically reapply all my makeup because I cried it all off. Hashtag pathetic. The reception was at a hotel downtown. When we got there, Brady found me right away and hugged me.
“You’re so cute,” he laughed. “Why were you crying?”
“Because I just lost my best friend!” I exclaimed like he should’ve known that already.
“You haven’t lost her. She will still be around,” he assured me.
I pouted.
“Plus, you still have me. I’ll be your best friend.”
I threw my arms around him and kissed him. We were super sweet to each other for the rest of the day. My mom caught on and said, “Hmm, should we start planning for y’all next?”
I rolled my eyes and said, “Ugh, Mom, stop.”
I try not to talk marriage with Brady anymore. Especially since I don’t even know if I would want to marry him now. 
So now Kendra and John are in Mexico for their honeymoon. Lucky! My parents left Chicago on Saturday night. I was exhausted from the long day and couldn’t even make the trip to the airport to drop them off.
On Sunday Brady and I got brunch with Carly before her flight. I really wanted some alone time with her so I get her advice about getting along with Brady and living with him, but she insisted he come along. She must have noticed something was up because later she texted me, “Is everything okay with you two?”
I think I was probably being a bitch to him the whole meal and I felt bad. And I wanted us to go back to normal so I went to find my boo. He was in the living talking on the phone and I jumped in his lap and planted a huge kiss on his cheek. He gave me a mean look, gestured to his phone and shooed me away. Rude. So I flipped him the bird and walked out.
A few minutes later, Brady came and found me and apologized. I told him that I would only forgive him if he ordered pizza so he did. Is that bratty? I don’t care.
So I don’t know y’all. I feel like living with Brady is making us hate each other. Or maybe we just aren’t compatible after all. It sucks. I miss being obsessed and cutesy with him. And get this. His friend Lindsey was offered the job in Chicago and is going to stay with us for a few weeks until she finds her own place. Brady didn’t even ask me if I was okay with this, he just told me and I guess I have to deal with it. As much as I like Lindsey, I don’t really like the idea of having another person here. But maybe she will force us to get along (can’t fight in front of others, obv). I kind of want to find other living arrangements, but if we can’t even stand to live with each other, how are we ever going to have an actual future?
hot mess in high heels. 
I hate how he talked to you when you asked about the restaurants. And letting her stay without asking you is bullshit. I hate to say this but I don’t know if this relationship is your end game. I think how he blows up at you randomly will get worse, not better.
To be fair, Reese has her moments. And she wasn’t very respectful of him in some ways either. It’s a two way street with these two. Your comment makes it seem like Reese doesn’t do anything wrong.
Sometimes living together helps you figure out if you’re meant to be together or not. If you guys never talk and always just have sex to fix things, it’s going to crash and burn. Better to get out now before it gets really bad.
agreed.
Um it is Brady’s place and he doesn’t have to ask you anything. Maybe reality is sinking in for him about how you tricked your way into living with him. After all who subleases their place before knowing what’s going on and now you’re trying to take over. Respect other people’s things and space. If he’s working don’t play loud music. Yes he was rude about dinner but that doesn’t justify you being a bitch to him all the time. The only reason you don’t know if you want to marry him is because he’s not catering to you and doing what you want all the time anymore.
I didn’t trick him at all. and I’m also not a bitch to him all the time. I am just mean when he’s mean.
Who is this guy? He seems to be overreacting in every way. He isnt telling you how he feels again. He is pushing it aside, and treating you like crap. He said he likes all these things about you, but then freaks on you when you be yourself.
Reese, you have went out of your way to try and make yourself a better person. You continued with the therapy, you ask him how he feels, you apologize when you do wrong. Having make up sex without making up isn’t healthy. If you feel like getting your own place again, I don’t blame you. But I woul certainly tell him you feel uncomfortable and you have been walking on egg shells due to his change in attitude. I don’t think it will end well.
😦 I’m sad. I hope it all works out. 🌻
I agree. I don’t know why he’s being like this. I think maybe we are just tired of each other and he probably thinks I’m taking over his space.
Aaaaah. I missed this blog. I started law school in August and have been so swamped, so glad I got to catch up.
Brady is being an ass and I think you should call him out on it. It may have been his place, but he invited you to move in and it’s not proper to invite a guest without letting you know first. It’s simple courtesy. Even if you didn’t live there, you’re his girlfriend and he should as how you feel about it.
I think you should have a talk with him. Let him know that you’re feeling unwelcome in his place and that the snapping is hurtful. I see no reason why he’s so short with you. I didn’t get the impression that he had asked you to turn the music down or warned you about candles before. Tell him how his actions are making you feel. Don’t avoid them and give in to sex. You need t let him know that changes need to be made. You’ve made so many changes for him already and if you don’t nip this in the bud it will continue. It could be that he doesn’t know what he’s doing so instead of confronting him just let him know how his actions make you feel. And ask him if he’s having second thoughts or if there’s something you did that is causing him to be short with you. Or better yet, bring it up with your therapist.
Okay. Off to class now. Miss you and good luck!
I’ve missed you and your comments too!
Living with someone is not easy. We all have our own annoying habits and things we do differently. You guys just need to learn how to adjust to living together. Every couple goes through things like this, even after marriage, but it’s how you deal with those things that can make the couple stronger.
I know you guys hate talking, but sex doesn’t solve any problems you can’t really have make up sex if you haven’t made up. You are just pushing the issue aside and let it become bigger than it needs to be.
Is this usual behavior for Brady to get like that when you try to talk about dinner plans? Maybe he’s stressed out about something. Or maybe he just needs some space? I’m not a morning person so don’t try to talk to me about anything early in the mornings, maybe that’s him also?
Where you rude to him while you were out with Carly? Try being kinder to him and he’ll follow your lead.
Relationships are not easy, my dad always tells me “eternity is not romantic” just cause you found someone you could spend the rest of your life with doesn’t mean things will be easy, there will be times where you want to kill him and times when he will want to kill you, but you won’t do it cause you would miss each other too much. Every couple goes through growing pains, just try to be kind to each other while you adjust to being together every day.
You have proven that you can communicate so try talking to him about him inviting his friend to stay with you guys. He’s not thinking of it as “our” place yet maybe that’s something that you guys could discuss.
he gets crabby in the morning, but he doesn’t usually get frustrated and snap at me like that. it was very unusual. I’ve always been kind to him so I’m not sure why he was so rude to me. it was unlike him.
Because his behavior is unlike him is that I think you need to bring it up to him. Ask him what’s going on. We are all speculating here saying this or that. But the only way to find out the reason for his rudeness is to ask him.
He asked you to move in with him before the break up so I really do believe he wants you there. Hope you guys work it out.
Brady was really rude. It might be his place, but Reese is living with him and I’m sure contributing to their life together somehow (some bills, groceries, etc). ANYBODY would be irritated if their bf/gf just casually told you someone would be staying with you for a few weeks. Not a few days. A few WEEKS, without an actual end-date. As an outsider, I think it’s easy to say “So what, no big deal, I wouldn’t care if my BF did that, blahblahblah” – but that is SO not true. Seriously, let’s be real. Especially if it’s not family and someone you don’t know well at all. I just think it’s common courtesy to discuss this with someone you live with, whether it’s just a roommate or a S.O.
I completely agree. I don’t see how anyone could be okay with that, no matter how laid back and passive they are.
What Brady did was unacceptable. The fact is you’re living with him now and he should have at least had a discussion with you about Lindsey staying. You should have had a say in it.
If you weren’t living there would he still have invited her to live with him for a few weeks? Honestly, I don’t care how close they are I would be uncomfortable with a woman living with my bf for a few weeks.
It really sucks how everyone just hangs up on Brady but doesn’t point out the fact that Reese wasn’t acting right either. Brady wasn’t right by any means here but he’s not the only one acting foolishly.
of course I wasn’t right, but who started it?
I actually agree with Shannmack. I seriously think Brady’s behaviour is ridiculous and totally uncalled for, but I also think that you aren’t really responding correctly either. Don’t get me wrong, I’d definitely want to react the same way you are, but both of you being mean to each other will get you nowhere. I think instead of responding to Brady by being mean back, it would be a good time to sit down and use what the therapist talked with you about and calmly discuss your problems so that it doesn’t keep happening. Unfortunately Brady isn’t a communicator, so this will probably fall on you to bring up.
Like other commenters said above, this needs to be addressed now before it gets any worse.
I’m wondering if Brady maybe feels the same way, about living together and how it’s causing a lot of annoyances.
Saying Lindsey can stay with y’all without asking you was not okay, in any way. You’re living there; it’s your space too. Did Brady do that because he considers your living there a temporary thing as well? You should probably talk to him and see if you’re on the same page about how living together is going/that you’re actually living together in the first place, and you get to make choices about your own space. Not that you would have said no, but he completely robbed you of the chance to tell him how intrusive that could possibly feel.
He was really rude and disrespectful about the dinner thing. I would have cried too.
I think it can definitely make a person snap when you go from having a place to yourself to relax to sharing with another full time. You guys didn’t move into a new home, you moved into Brady’s home and he is watching as you do things your way in a place he still sees as his. Sadly I agree with him, you have to ease up on being your-Brady-self, the woman you are in front of Brady and start being like a considerate guest. With time you can ease into doing things your way but just plopping into a person’s home all at once can drive anyone nuts.
This. Brady didn’t really have a choice but to let you move in. You mentioned how you decorated and the place your own. Maybe the music wasn’t loud to you but to a person trying to work it was probably a huge distraction. The candles, I agree with him.
You’re not a guest, but you honestly don’t think you’d get annoyed with someone at your place doing things how they want without your consideration… As someone who just had their significant move in with them I can honestly say I’ve snapped at my boyfriend over stupid things when in reality I was just overwhelmed with someone constantly in my space. Is this my boyfriend’s home too? Of course, but I’m human it’s going to take a person time to get use to having another person always there.
I totally might get annoyed, but if someone is being mean you for NO REASON then don’t you think you would get defensive?
he invited me to move in so I’m not a guest. I live there too so it’s not fair that I would have to act like a guest.
I agree with you. If he invited you to move in then he has to respect your rights as a roommate. My ex talked me into moving in with him and then thought because it was his house that he could order me around whenever he was mad at me…like telling me I had to find someplace else to spend the night or that I couldn’t be in the living room because he was mad. I broke up with him and moved out and it was absolutely the best decision. Living together is a hard adjustment and both sides have to be willing to compromise. I think if you guys talk about your living situation and some house rules you will be able to see if Brady is willing to compromise.
PS I think the candles weren’t a problem unless they were by curtains or something. And I think even though it could be something you compromise on for his peace of mind, I think he should have talked to you before he blew them out. I would have been offended.
oh hell no! if Brady did that I would probably break up with him AND move out. that’s so mean and hurtful.
Am I the only who recalls Reese complaining about where she’ll live and Brady saying she could stay with him? What was he supposed to say? Too bad you chose to sublet your place? She put him in a terrible spot. It’s not like the two of you decided this together. Reese why is everyone always rude yet when you do the same it’s justified? You’ve manipulated so many situations and then try to place blame on Brady. It’s his place. Respect that. You mentioned the music. Way to be a brat to him about that. Do you know how to put anyone else first. Who cares if it’s Beyoncé you’re listening to? Brady was working. Then the candles. Maybe you need to be Mature and speak with Brady instead if being passive aggressive and playing the blame game which you’ve mastered.
if Brady didn’t want me staying with him then he should not have invited me to. there are plenty of other things he could have said. some of y’all have also mastered the blame game and blame everything on me.
I don’t think it’s for no reason. Little things build up and you really aren’t super respectful.
People react to things, like
Candles burning, for a
Reason.
A close family member of mine was involved in a very serious fire when he was young and the cause was an Unattended candle. His aunt was in the next room and something blew into the candle cause it to ignite and quickly spread to a nearby curtain. Candles are never allowed in that persons house now. You never really know what causes people to act a certain way. And it’s super hard to be the person who’s house gets moved into. Even if you want it, there’s a serious adjustment period. I can see how Brady would get fed up. That doesn’t excuse his snapping at you but I guarantee there’s a reason
how can you tell me I’m not respectful? I am. most of the time both of us can be a little mean to each other, but I will say that his latest episodes have been unwarranted. there is no reason who should just yell and snap at me and not even explain why.
I don’t think Reese should be a `guest’ …he asked her to move in!! and I don’t get where Liz gets off being so nasty (like..why do you even read this blog)
I do think Reese and Brady definitely need to work on their communication, but lets be honest, when someone hurts your feelings or makes you mad its hard to immediately react the perfect way. Its easy for everyone to read and judge (in hindsight FYI) how best to react.
So Reese, as much as I love how awesome you two`s sexual chemistry is, its probably not healthy that you don’t address your issues, talk to him and let him know how you feel. And I probably would have been mad about the Lindsey thing, he should have ran it by you at the very least.
Sorry I submitted prematurely. You can’t take over someone’s space with zero regard for them. Think about Brady for a moment.
I didn’t take over his place and I have been considerate and thought about him. I didn’t know the music was loud so I turned it down. what’s wrong with lighting candles? I was still at home and fully aware that they were Burning.
First, do you have the Capri Blue candle from anthro? If not, you need it. Second, I think you and Brady need much more time to yourselves to adjust to living together and throwing in this other girl will only cause even more problems for you both. But at least you and her got along before, right? Maybe she will take your side in the arguments you and Brady have haha.
I can’t remember which ones I got but if that isn’t one, I’ll try it!
I think one of the reasons they say the first couple of years of marriage is rough is partly due to the fact that living with someone when you’ve been used to living by yourself and doing your own thing/being On your own schedule, it can be difficult to adjust. You’re now having to share things and compromise, including decisions on how you want things to be in your home. It’s also why some people like to move in together before marriage. Sometimes you see a whole other side to people when you live with them, and it’s good test for your relationship. I think maybe you and Brady are just getting on each other’s nerves. The best way to handle it in my opinion and experience, is just to give yourself a little space when you’re home at the same time. If he’s being moody just let it roll off your shoulder and leave the room and find something to keep you busy for a while, or leave the house for a bit. If possible, try to not hold grudges because holding onto that anger can destroy your relationship and make you resentful of each other. So in the words of the popular song Frozen, let it go. 😉
okay. 🙂 it’s hard for me to just let stuff go. I want to work on it though!
he sucks at talking and after he bitches at you he gets over it and you don’t (with good fucking reason he is being a dick) but it doesn’t help much to turn passive aggressive either (I mean it helps you feel like you’re getting payback but it’s not healthy for the relationship to hurt him just because he hurt you, you gotta be the bigger person, else you’re just in an endless aggressive cycle)
are you the first girl he is living with? I guess you guys moved in kinda fast and maybe didn’t discuss what you expected from each other during the move (ie music/candles) but I don’t know, maybe it’s not that you guys can’t fit together but that you guys needed more time to prepare before moving in together… 😦
also I get that it is “his” apartment but he is a retard for not even asking you if it was okay that x would stay over, maybe he assumed it was okay because you got along w her when you met? which isn’t the same thing but he loves playing the clueless card
I am the first girl he’s ever lived with and I’ve never lived with a guy either. but this is also my most serious relationship. it’s a learning experience for both of us.
You two are going through a huge change in your relationship. Living with someone 24/7 is very different from spending a few nights a week together. I don’t think your arguments have anything to do with compatibility but are just a reflection of a new phase in your relationship. You need to have a conversation about each other’s living habits. Maybe each make a list (I’m a fan of lists) of your non-negotiables and negotiables and then go from there. For Brady, maybe that means that candles are okay but only if someone is physically present in the same room in which they are lit.
Also, above you replied to a comment saying something to the effect of “I wasn’t right, but who started it?” It doesn’t matter who started it. I read an interview with Kevin Bacon awhile back and he gave great advice when asked how he and his wife have such a strong relationship. “We keep the sex dirty, and the fights clean.” My boyfriend and I have applied this to our own relationship and it has done WONDERS. The satisfaction that I gain from a nasty comeback in a heated discussion is waning compared to the long-term positive effects of having a heated discussion without trying to hurt the other person. It’s clear that you and Brady respect each other, but, to me, it seems like you both are more inclined to “win” an argument that continue respecting each other. Relationships are not a game that one person can win; they are partnerships to help you get through life’s hardships and joys and triumphs with an amazing and loving companion by your side.
You and Brady are going through a little funk in your relationship, but I firmly believe you can move beyond it if you still think that you want to be with him because you two are very good together. You both have become better people because of the other.
this comment is so helpful and it made me feel a lot better. thank you!!
Ugh Brady!! I would be fighting with him too if he were my boyfriend!! His behavior really is not ok- it is not just his place anymore – you live there too now – you are not just a guest! Ugh good luck dealing with this – of course I don’t have any good advice – if it were me, I would be giving him the silent treatment because I would be so mad but obviously that doesn’t solve anything! Sending you hugs Reese!! Glad to see a post from you – it feels like it has been awhile!
thank you amber!
ugh! It is really annoying me that so many people are trying to say that this is your fault. You definitely have lots to work on, Reese, but you are making incredible strides and really trying. 99% of this is Brady’s fault and while I think it is totally fair for people to call you out when you are out of line, I wish some people would also recognize you are not ALWAYS out of line.
I think you need to talk to Brady and say that you sense he is frustrated or just ask how he is feeling about living together. Emphasize that you want to make sure he is comfortable and that you are being the best roommate possible. In an ideal world, he would be honest and after talking through issues, you would be able to address dealbreakers and roommate rules. If he is not honest then I think you can bring up some of the reasons you sense he is frustrated and also mention that you are concerned he is unwilling to be honest with you or to communicate either one on one or with the support of a therapist. I would be careful discussing both the apartment issues and communication issues in one conversation because you do not want things to escalate but both need to be addressed.
You may have come on a little strong ordering the pillows etc. and he may be concerned about some of your lifestyle habits such as spending. I don’t think it would be a bad idea to mention that you know that there are things you need to improve upon and you are really trying and ask for his feedback on how you can do better.
Ultimately, however, he seems highly frustrated and was way way out of line this past weekend. I think that for the most part you seem to have handled everything last weekend pretty well.
Hang in there!
P.S. Any suggestions for manis in Chi? Would love a good place where I can also drink a cocktail if possible haha #totallush
My bf and I have just passed the milestone of living together for one year. For the first six months I honestly thought we weren’t going to make it. I considered breaking up with him every few weeks and I’m sure he felt the same. Every little thing seemed SO irritating because we never got a break from each other, and every problem seemed so monumental because I was looking at it through the lens of “is this going to be the rest of my life?”.
What worked for us was making time for the things we enjoyed together, instead of counting the time we were at home as our quality time. We also sat down and went through our concerns one by one and addressed them. It was a BRUTAL conversation but it really helped. We made commitments to change and have held ourselves accountable to them…. Just my two cents.
I read in a lot of the comments that you should be acting like a guest. Um, what? You aren’t a guest, you are a girlfriend. You are there because Brady decided (with you) to forego NYC, where you were also going to live with him. Living with him in Chicago should be no different than if it was NYC. You sublet your place because of Brady’s potential job. That didn’t happen, so you are now in his condo. And can I remind all the readers that Brady asked you to live with him before and you gave up your lease, got dumped by him (albeit briefly) and ended up having to go find a new apartment. I would say you have been pretty flexible in terms of housing. You were stressed because of having to move before and that was entirely down to Brady flip flopping on you. SOOOOOOO, in my view, your being at his place now is just the realization of plans you two made more than 6 months ago. That condo is just as much your space as his. That being said, you two need to talk about sharing that space which entails compromise on both sides. It’s only been a few weeks and you are in the learning curve stage. I think what you two need to negotiate is areas of the condo that are either just his or just yours so you two have places you can be such that you are both home together, but in a private place of your own. It will help if you have your respective caves to retreat to when you get on each other’s nerves–inevitable when you cohabit. My husband and I have our own spaces and it allows us to hold a piece on individuality while being a couple.
I will say that Brady not discussing Lindsay staying with you was not cool. You live there, too. Fortunately, it is temporary. I would discuss this with your therapist to find a constructive way to talk to Brady about it. He blew you off when you tried to talk before and I think you would benefit from creating a script for yourself before you talk to him.
Oh, and quit thinking of yourself as being such a pain in the neck. I know you have been bratty (not a good thing), but frankly, Brady has been, too and often unprovoked. It takes two to tango and while it is good you are holding yourself accountable and policing your behavior not all your conflicts with Brady are your fault. It sounds more and more lately that you are taking on the larger share of “fault” for conflicts in your relationship. Again something to bring up with your therapist.
PREACH! Totally with you.
^^^ I agree. Plus it’s not fair for people to hold you accountable for your words and then say that Brady isn’t responsible for his decisions because “he had no choice”… If he wasn’t ready to live with you he wouldn’t have offered. I think you guys just need to work through some things, it’s a big change for you both and takes time to adjust. But Brady HAS to start communicating better!
thisssss.
Hey girl,
Agreed with a lot of what’s being said about you doing great in working to communicate and moving in together being tough to adjust to. Keep up the communication as best as possible and yall will be fine
Also, it was a blood moon on Sunday and Mercury is in retrograde which means a solid bit of chaos for the universe and particularly for relationships according to one of my hippie/astrologically-inclined friends. Can I ask what your signs both are? Super sorry to be weird but I’m just getting into astrology a bit and it’s fun to see if it applies to people’s relationships!
I’m a Virgo and Brady is a Capricorn. I’m curious know if you can figure out if this means anything because I don’t have any of the typical Virgo traits.
I think you should talk to Brady and see if he considers you living there permanently or staying there….. He might be spazzing out bc he considers you a temporary guest and you don’t consider yourself that. Sitting down and talking about your situation will allow you to see when he is coming from and how he sees this situation. Also the candles might have seemed fine to you but not to be rude its Brady’s house Brady’s money Brady’s insurance that would be impacted… in that sense you are a guest. Also are you contributing? I ask because when someone pays for something or everything they consider it theirs. Might seem wrong but you guys aren’t married so he wouldn’t be far off to think that.
as time passes, relationships evolve and the initial OMG you give me butterflies sometimes fades… in exchange you feel like totally at ease and at home with that person. with that being said, both of you all have allowed the other to get to a level of disrespect that is going to continue to grow within you guys unless one of you does something about it. Little things like flipping him the bird, and him yelling at you should not really happen in a healthy relationship.
I think you definitely have to address whether he thinks this is a permanent thing or a temporary live -in situation and go from there. It is okay that you aren’t all cutesy anymore, in fact it would be kind of worrisome because you are real people living real lives with the other person, not a story book.