I decided to work a long day on Thursday so I could take Friday off. So Luke and I stayed in the office until 11:00 PM and when I got home I was hungry and exhausted. It didn’t help that I’d decided to break in a new pair of booties for my 14 hour day. By the time I got home I was practically in tears because my feet hurt so bad.
Brady was still up working in the living room. I collapsed next to him whining, “Baaaabbeee, my feet hurt.”
He barely looked up at me. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“These booties I just got suck. I’m going to return them. Will you massage my feet?” I said.
Brady sighed. “Reese, no. Can’t you see I’m doing something?”
“Don’t you care that I’m in pain?” I gasped.
“No! You had no business getting new boots when you have an entire closet full of boots anyway.” He continued typing on his laptop and I was so angry with him that I wanted to knock his glasses of his stupid face.
Instead I glared at him. His comments pissed me off so much that I wanted to say something to hurtful so he could see how it felt.
“Now do you see why I have to get attention from guys like Matt and the male model? Thanks for nothing, Brady!”
He stopped typing and turned to look at me. He was squinting like he wasn’t sure if he heard me correctly. His jaw twitched. I felt a pang of guilt and quickly added, “Just kidding!”
Brady went back to his work without saying anything.
“So how was your day?” I asked.
No response.
“How was work? Did anything happen?”
Silence.
“Baaabeeee, talk to meeee!”
“Reese, leave me alone right now!” he shouted.
I got up and stomped away. I knew it was my fault so I stomped to the kitchen and made two bowls of caramel cookie crunch gelato. I brought both of them back to the living room and sat one in front of Brady. He didn’t even glance at it. Whatever. I finished my bowl and when I noticed that the bowl I made for Brady was beginning to melt, I ate it too. Then I took a shower and got in bed.
When Brady finally got in bed, I had already fallen asleep, but I turned around groggily to face him. I missed him even in my sleep.
“Hi, I’m sorry for what I said,” I apologized.
He pulled me close to him and didn’t say anything then we fell asleep. Brady woke me up the next morning.
“Hey. I’m leaving for work,” he said when I opened my eyes.
I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed him. “Stay home with me.”
“I wish I could. I’ll try to come home early and we can go to dinner wherever you want,” Brady replied.
I pouted.
“I love you, okay?” he added.
“I love you more,” I half whined.
After Brady left I rolled back over and went to sleep until it was time to meet Preston for lunch. Earlier in the week, he’d texted me to tell me that he found out that one of the girls who hangs out with his friends is friends with Jessica the Blow Job Queen. He started to tell me about it then decided that the conversation was better for in person. So we decided to drink and have lunch on Friday.
We met at a really low key place close to Preston’s job. He assured me that they had good sangria and hummus and I asked if they had chicken strips and tequila.
“Doll face!” he greeted me outside the place. “You’re so cute. What are you wearing?”
I looked down at myself and gave him the rundown on my dress, my heels, and my Native American inspired fringe poncho. Then I spun.
“Yes! I love it! Bravo!” Preston said, clapping. It was a very Carrie-Stanford moment.
We went inside and ordered a margarita pitcher and sweet potato fries to share.
“So tell me about this girl,” I said once our order was in.
“Ohhh, yes,” Preston said dramatically. “Her name is Margaret. Is that not the ugliest name you’ve ever heard?”
I shrugged.
“She’s really good friends with my friend, Hailey, but I didn’t really have a real conversation with her until a few days ago. I was telling her about you and she said, ‘Reese? The girl who is dating the guy who works at [the name of the hospital Brady works at]?’ Her eyes lit up!”
“What were you saying about me?” I wanted to know.
“Oh, I can’t remember. I was telling her how cute you are probably.” Preston reached across the table and flipped my hair.
I glared at him suspiciously.
“Anyway, I said, ‘Yes! That’s her! How do you know her and Brady?’ That’s when Margaret told me that she’s friends with Jessica. My jaw literally fell to the ground!”
“Mmmhm,” I murmured.
“Obviously my panties were wet from the excitement at this point. I asked Margaret to tell me what she knows about Jessica and Brady so she told me the story Jessica told her… From. The. Beginning.”
“So tell me!” I exclaimed.
“I don’t believe it…” Preston said.
“I want to know!”
“Apparently Brady and Jessica started sexting right after they met. Jessica claimed Brady started it, but I know that man would never initiate something like that! I didn’t say that though.”
I nodded.
“Supposedly Brady was telling Jessica how much he wanted to fuck her and Jessica wasn’t sure because she didn’t want to mix business with pleasure. But Brady was hot and persistent so she was torn. Plus he was sending her dick pics and she was impressed.”
“Yeah fucking right! Brady would never do that!” I said loudly. Brady has never even sent me a dick pic!
“Right?! I really wanted to tell her that the story didn’t sound right, but I didn’t want her to stop telling me stuff. Let me finish my story.”
I nodded.
“So Jessica said that she and Brady fooled around once then he got a girlfriend (you). She said that Brady continued hitting her up, but she told him to stop because he has a girlfriend. He told her that he didn’t care about being in a relationship and it wasn’t serious, blah blah blah…” Preston said.
“Ugh.”
“Yeah. So then apparently you sent her that Facebook message telling her to back off your man. Margaret called you a crazy bitch. Jessica was pissed and told Brady never to talk to her again since he can’t control his psycho girlfriend. As you can imagine, I was literally in tears at this point.”
I glared at him.
“Anyway, so they didn’t talk for a few months, but Jessica started to miss him since they were pretty good friends beforehand. They somehow made up and started talking again. Jessica said they started having sex regularly even though he still had a girlfriend. She justified it by saying you were a psycho bitch…”
“Wait.” I tried to put a timeline together in my head. I sent Jessica the Facebook message sometime in December before Brady and I went to Houston. As far as I knew they didn’t talk again until after we broke up in March. But what if they started talking before that when Brady started working late a lot and going through that quarterlife crisis? What if he broke up with me because he wanted to continue to have sex with Jessica guilt free?
“You’re not believing any of this bullshit, are you?” Preston asked.
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
“This girl is literally living on another planet. She’s pulling stories right out of her ass.”
“But would someone really lie about regularly having sex with someone?”
“She lied about everything else, why wouldn’t she? Anyway, can I finish? I haven’t even gotten to the good part.”
“Go on.”
“So apparently he told her that he wanted to continue being in a relationship with you, but still wanted to fuck her on the side. Jessica wasn’t okay with this arrangement and told him that he either needed to break up with you and offer her more or she was done. They got in a huge fight and had a falling out and Jessica blocked him on everything. They haven’t spoken since and now Jessica hates his guts.”
“Did she forget the part where she sent me a picture of my boyfriend getting dressed after sex?” I said.
“Apparently. She obviously knew how desperate that looked so she didn’t admit that to her friends.” Preston laughed.
“Brady told me they only had sex once. After we broke up,” I pointed out.
“Well, when would he have had time to cheat on you, Reese?” Preston asked.
“I don’t know, maybe all those times he was ‘working late.’ He could still be hooking up with her for all I know,” I said.
“Honestly, I don’t believe Brady has the balls to cheat on anyone. Especially someone like you. He, of all people, knows how crazy you are. I think Jessica is just bitter and disgruntled. I didn’t tell you this so you would go accuse Brady of cheating on you. I told you so we could laugh at how ridiculous it is.”
I smiled. “I just feel like this whole situation has been unsettling.”
“It has been, but at least the witch is dead. Margaret says she’s dating some insane meathead who screams at her if she doesn’t call him every hour. So she’s finally met her match.”
“Good for her.”
I couldn’t stop thinking about it as we downed our margs and then I realized that Preston is probably (hopefully) right. Jessica is clearly having delusions of grandeur. Although I did plan on casually asking Brady to remind me why he and Jessica stopped talking.
After lunch we went shopping. Then I had to go home and hide all my new purchases because I don’t have time to be lectured by Brady. I texted him letting him know where I wanted to go for dinner then got ready. Brady picked me up from home as soon as he left work so we could be home in time to meet Lindsey.
I’d decided I wanted a cheeseburger so we went to this famous gourmet burger place. I insisted on sitting on the same side of the booth and we ordered truffle fries to start. I asked Brady to tell me about work and when he tried to be vague, I made him elaborate. I had a pretty embarrassing and eye opening experience when I was talking to some people at work about Brady and they asked what he does at his job and why it seems to be so stressful. I realized that I’m not really exactly sure what he does.
“You don’t know what your boyfriend does?” one of the girls asked, stunned. “You should probably figure it out.”
I felt awful. So I realized I need to be more interested in Brady’s work life. I also decided that we were going to have a great dinner, but I wanted to hash a few things out.
After I shoveled several truffle fries in my mouth, I asked, “Do you feel like living together is making us hate each other?”
“No. Why?” Brady replied.
“Because I feel like it is. Well, I feel like you’re always so annoyed with me lately,” I said.
“That isn’t true. I’m sorry you feel that way,” he said.
“I don’t want to be fighting all the time in front of Lindsey. We should discuss some house rules so you don’t keep yelling at me.”
Brady’s brow furrowed, but he said, “Okay.”
“So, you start. What should I stop doing to annoy you?” I said sweetly.
“Um. I would appreciate if you would be a little more considerate. I know you’re used to living alone, but you aren’t now and you need to take into consideration that you’re living with another person. And soon it will be two other people.”
“Give me some examples.”
“For example, sometimes you don’t clean up after you get ready and don’t even notice when I clean it up for you. It’s like you think the place cleans itself up,” Brady said.
“Well, I don’t ask you to clean my things up. I am capable of cleaning up after myself,” I said back.
“Yeah? And how long will it take you?”
I felt like he was getting a little worked up so I grabbed his face and said, “Brady, be nice.”
“I am.”
“I think you should tell me immediately when I’m pissing you off and not hold it in and blow up on me. You’ve yelled at me like everyday for the past two weeks,” I sniffled.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to yell at you,” Brady said. “I enjoy having you around all the time, I just think I’m still getting used to it too.”
“Me too,” I agreed. And then I decided to be a little daring. “Maybe once Lindsey moves out, we can start looking for a place for us to get together.”
Brady looked at me like I suggested snorting coke out of each other’s butts. “Why?”
“I don’t know. Because you bought your place for just yourself and we should find something more suitable for both of us.” I was kind of just saying this just to see if Brady actually wants to live with me long term, without actually asking him.
“I like where I live,” he said, looking down at the table.
“I do too, but we should probably find somewhere that has a home office for you and more storage for all my stuff.”
“Good point.”
“So do you want to or no?”
“That’s just a big commitment.” Brady finally looked back at me and he looked guilty for some reason.
“I know, but aren’t you committed to me? We are getting married one day, of course.”
He sighed.
“I mean, I’m not going to force you to if you don’t want to. It was just a suggestion,” I added.
“We can look into it, okay? I don’t want to rush into anything.”
I nodded.
We were really nice to each other for the rest of dinner so I didn’t want to bring up Jessica. I would save that for another time.
On Saturday morning I woke up and made breakfast for everyone. I planned on spending the day drinking with Luke and leaving Brady and Lindsey at home to get settled in. Luke and I went to a bar and grill and had apps and drinks then sat there for two hours having an emotional conversation about our families and upbringing. His parents divorced when he was in high school and he says it was really tough having to go through that plus coming out as gay. I can’t imagine.
We hit up a few bars and had drinks until we eventually got restless. I called Brady to pick us up. We dropped Luke off first and headed home. When we arrived home, I was still feeling tipsy and a little bit emotional and I could no longer hold in my questions about Jessica.
I followed Brady into the kitchen and watched as he started unloading the dishwasher. I hopped up on the counter and said, “Baby, I have a question.”
“Mmhm,” Brady said.
“Why did you stop talking to Jessica?” I asked.
Brady gave me a weird look. “I don’t know. Because I had no reason to continue talking to her.”
“So basically you just pumped and dumped her?”
He blinked at me.
“How many times did y’all have sex?”
“Once.”
“Are you sure it was only once, Brady?” I asked innocently.
“Yes, I’m sure! Why are you asking me this?” He sounded like he was getting frustrated. I don’t think he had any right to be frustrated, but I was still feeling kind of bad.
“Because I heard otherwise…”
“What did you hear?”
“That you were having a sexual relationship with her the whole time we were together! And you only stopped because she wanted more!” I exclaimed.
“Who told you that? That’s isn’t true,” Brady said calmly.
“It doesn’t matter who told me. Did you cheat on me with her?”
“No!” Now he was getting a little bit worked up. “I can’t believe you would ask me that. Do you seriously think I would do that to you?”
“Well, I don’t even know at this point, Brady.”
His jaw twitched. “She did want more. She said I led her on.”
“Elaborate,” I said, crossing my arms across my chest.
“We were texting a lot and she must have thought I was interested in her. After we…you know, I wasn’t that nice to her and I told her that I wasn’t interested in her romantically.”
“You were texting a lot when?” I asked.
“After we broke up,” Brady said, looking down. I tapped his chest with my foot to make him look back up at me.
“So you did lead her on. You buttered her up to get in her pants. Then after you got what you wanted, you had no use for her anymore. Is that accurate?” I nodded for him.
“I guess that’s pretty accurate.” Brady paused, rubbing his neck. “I knew I wanted to eventually work things out with you.”
“Oh, don’t try to drag me into this. You were obviously not thinking about me at all.”
“I was. I thought she would be a distraction, but it actually made me miss you more.”
I rolled my eyes. “Did you eat her out?”
Brady groaned. “Reese, what? Stop. Why are you doing this?”
“I just want to know.” It was actually my way of deciding if Brady actually just wanted sex with her or if he wanted more. Oral sex is very intimate and you aren’t just going to go down on a random person.
“I did once. I-”
I started bawling. Like sobbing uncontrollably. Brady stepped closer to me and put his arms around my waist and I tried to push him away.
“I’m disappointed in you,” I sobbed.
“Why? Reese, we were broken up at the time…”
I continued crying.
“What about Carly’s brother? You did the same thing to me.”
“I did not! We never did anything other than have sex. It was meaningless. Having your mouth on someone’s vagina isn’t meaningless!”
Brady looked up at the ceiling like he was losing patience with me. Over his shoulder I saw Lindsey step into the doorway to see what the commotion was. When she saw what was going on, she backed away and mouthed, “Sorry.”
“I don’t want to talk about this again. I would never, ever cheat on you and if you think I would then I don’t want continue in a relationship with you,” Brady said. The stern tone in his voice made me stop crying and look at him.
“I don’t want to think you would, but Preston is friends with Jessica’s friend and Preston told me some stuff he heard from Jessica’s friend,” I explained.
“So you heard some story from Preston who heard it from some random friend?”
I nodded, realizing that it did sound kind of stupid.
Brady turned around and started to walk away.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
He didn’t answer and walked out of the kitchen. Ugh. So now he was mad, again. I sat on the counter for a few minutes, waiting for him to come back. When he didn’t I hopped down to find him. I heard voices in Lindsey’s room so I poked my head in. Brady was sitting on the bed while Lindsey hung up clothes.
“Hey! We think we’re going to go to the bar,” she said.
Since I had spent the entire day drinking with Luke I told them I was going to pass. Then I showered and got in bed. I vaguely remember hearing them leave, but Brady didn’t even bother telling me he was leaving. So whatever.
I woke up around midnight and made a huge dinner for myself. Then I ate all of it while watching Teen Mom 2 OnDemand. I was on my second episode when the door opened and Brady and Lindsey came in talking loudly. Good thing I wasn’t trying to sleep.
“Heyyyy, what are you doing up?” Brady asked, plopping on the couch next to me. He smelled like a bar.
“Reese, you should have come out!” Lindsey said.
I shrugged.
She shouted good night then went to her room. Brady was leaning on me and saying something like, “I love you, I missed you.”
He ended up passing out right there on the couch. I tried to get him to get up and get in the bed, but to no avail. So I helped him get comfy. Brady never, ever drinks to the point of passing out so I didn’t mind taking care of him. Plus he takes care of me all the time when I get too drunk to function.
Brady woke up really early on Sunday morning and got in the bed with me.
“Hey,” I greeted him, still half asleep.
“I feel like shit,” he told me and I laughed. We slept until noon.
I spent most of the day working while Brady and Lindsey went for a jog and went grocery shopping. Lindsey made dinner, but she eats really clean so I only made it through three bites. Luckily I have a stash of Oreos in the nightstand so I had those for dinner instead.
Brady said he didn’t want to talk about Jessica anymore so I didn’t bring it up even though we didn’t really finish our conversation. I texted Preston telling him what happened and he said, “Reese, I thought we decided we didn’t believe her. Why did you fucking ask him about it? God, you’re crazy.”
The nerve of him to call me crazy.
I still don’t know how to feel about the whole Jessica thing. I know I probably shouldn’t let it get to me, but everything gets to me. When I got to work this morning, I sent Brady a really sweet email apologizing for the way I handled the situation and telling him that I think his heart is too big to be capable of hurting me like that. So far he hasn’t responded, but I do think I meant it.
hot mess in high heels. 
From the way you portray your relationship in these posts, I don’t see why you are still with Brady. You two don’t communicate, don’t even seem to like each other, and can’t put into words why you love each other. Are you sure you aren’t holding onto the relationship because it’s comfortable? You are fiercely independent and have a big personality, your significant other should bring out the best in you, not the worst. And you and Brady seem to bring out the worst more than the best.
From the way you told it, Brady definitely cheated on you. “I only went down on her once”. So, according to him they had sex once, he went down on her once, and they texted all the time. Those don’t add up. I would be suspicious if I were you, and quite honestly you deserve someone better-someone who will be honest and not add more and more to the story each time you talk about.
Please, please take a good look at your relationship and try to figure out why you’re still in it. I personally think you would be much happier single, or with someone more compatible.
I really do think you’re right, but I think if I can get over some of my insecurities and bad habits (and he could get past his bad habits too) we could really love each other. we are having a really bad patch in our relationship right now.
That’s the point though, you have so many ifs in your statement. You shouldn’t have to work that hard or change that much about yourself in order to maybe fall in real love with each other. Just my opinion, but I think you’re delaying the inevitable by continuing to “work on your issues” when truly nothing has been resolved.
when you put it that way…
Just want to see you happy! And you have clearly taken a lot of steps towards that and have worked tirelessly on your relationship. Just want you to think about when enough is going to be enough 😘
Argggg Jessica is so psycho! Why are you letting her still be a part of your relationship? She’s a liar! You read the texts from her & Brady. He said nothing to her and didn’t send any pix. I don’t think he would take the time to delete his side of the conversation and leave everything else.
One thing that bothers me is how he got mad and said if you didn’t trust him you should break up. He needs to validate your feelings more and understand where you are coming from. You’ve been through that you had a man that cheated on you constantly, so you have some insecurities. Instead of just getting mad at you and pushing your feelings aside, he should be more comforting. But that won’t happen unless you explain it to him.
Brady sounds like a person that’s very neat, he would hate me, hahaha. I like a clean kitchen & living room, but don’t care about my room. I leave a big mess after getting ready also mainly because I’m always running late so don’t have time to clean 😉. But those are not deal breakers just things you have to work on to not annoy each other so much.
You decided to forgive him when you found out he slept with Jessica now you need to forget about it. Tell your friends that if they hear anything else about her to not tell you. You need to move on and not let her upset you, she’s off living life not giving you a second thought. So don’t give her a second thought. Brady chose you, Brady loves you.
ugh I know. Brady wasn’t very nice, but I feel like he’s probably sick of me accusing him of stuff. right? especially if he’s innocent.
Yes you are right I would be tired too, but you guys need to talk about it. Communication is key to any relationship and you guys avoid that.
Does he really not see how you guys have been fighting more lately? now when you ask him to tell you about something you need to change don’t get defensive, just accept it as constructive criticism and say “sorry, I’ll work on that.” if you get defensive he’ll keep shutting down because he doesn’t like your reaction.
I just read that you are avoiding going home, that makes me sad. You should never feel like that, specially when you share a house with someone you love. I wish you could share that with him in a non-confrontational way. Just tell him “Brady I need you to hear me out, these are my feelings they may be wrong but they are my feelings and I need you to validate them”.
I do think he might have an idea he’s been grumpier than usual and that’s why he brought you flowers and was so sweet telling you how much he loves you. But he doesn’t get deeper than that because he doesn’t know how.
Wish you the best.
Brady knows we are fighting more lately but just wants to avoid talking about it because he avoids talking about anything. it’s so frustrating! I don’t know how to get through to him.
That’s a tough situation to be in for sure. I think it was good for you to ask him, because he seems like he has been pretty honest with you. And I think it’s extremely likely that Jessica lied her ass off to everyone so she didn’t look so desperate.
On a side note, I love when you put links in for your outfits/shoes 🙂 It’s like window shpp
Ugh I meant to say it’s like window shopping with a story to go along with it 🙂
you’re right 🙂
I think Preston may have had semi-pure intentions, but all he did was stir up lingering doubt and bring up the past again! Especially at a time where you and Brady (admittedly) are going through a rough patch. I agree with ^^ that you should tell all your friends to not mention she-who-shall-not-be-named any more because she doesn’t matter and you want to just move past that whole situation. What Preston told you was just a bunch of gossip and hear-say that doesn’t really do anything but make you doubt your relationship and act insecure. Don’t give her the power or satisfaction!!
You and Brady need to work on being BEST FRIENDS. Have fun together, confide in each other, make each other laugh, you do things that he likes (vice versa), figure out ways to incorporate things you BOTH like and do them together. And when arguments arise, you both need to learn how to fight FAIR. You guys haven’t been bringing out the best in each other and it really shows. Everybody needs to lighten up!
I know – Brady and I used to have such a good relationship, we had so much fun and loved being around each other. I’m not sure what happened or how to fix it. it really sucks!
She is a fucking nut! I bet she’s one of those people who lies so much that she starts to believe some it. Sounds like Brady & BJQ had a thing before y’all met, and then she probably kept chasing him and lying about it so she wouldn’t sound crazy.
Bad patches come and go, try to keep respecting and trusting each other and everything will be ok. Going out of your way to be nice to your partner (not over the top spoiling or planning surprises, just being sweet) does a lot to help sometimes.
I think we both need to work on going out of our way to be nice to each other (Brady especially).
I think I may have told you this before, but many years ago my now husband and I went on a break when we were dating and he got back together with his ex. Eventually we got back together (obviously) but it took a long time and a lot of frustration for me to get past it and move on since I had been cheated on in my previous relationship and I had suspected for a long time before the break that his ex wanted him back. He did a lot to reassure me, I had access to his email, facebook, phone all of it until I no longer needed it. He was willing to be an open book to make me feel better about it. In the end, it wouldn’t have mattered if he had shown me or not. There are a million ways to make things disappear on facebook, phone and email. I had made the decision to trust him and all those reassurances, at the time made me feel better, but he could have still easily hidden it from me if he wanted to. Make the decision. If he screws you over, you will get past it. If he doesn’t, you can have everything you want with him.
As far as living together, the clean freak versus the messy one is not going to be easy. Both my husband and I are clean freaks, so we work out pretty well despite my constantly shedding hair. Hire someone to clean your house if you hate to do it. Also, when you’re in the kitchen talking and he’s emptying the dishwasher, give him a hand.
but you obviously trust your husband completely now. is that just something you decided or did he do something else to make you trust him?
I have to say that my husband and I also broke up for a while when we had first started dating. We fought all the time…dirty nasty horrible fighting. We brought out worst in each other and made each other miserable. I didn’t trust him and he constantly was talking to other girls.
When we got back together we decided that the past was in the past and moved on. It was so hard! But you just need to forgive and trust him. Stop torturing yourself by asking him exactly what he did with whomever in his past.
My husband didn’t do anything ‘special’ to make me trust him. I just did. He loves me and I love him. That’s more than enough to give it your all to make a relationship work. Forget what happened in the past, try and look at the here and now and the future.
I don’t think me and Brady bring out the worst in each other.. I just think we are going through some tough times and growing pains (like someone said). how did you stop having really bad fights though? I bet you both had to change in someway.
So much of our relationship changed after we got back together. The biggest difference for me that it was so clear that he wanted me and only me and I had nothing to worry about. My happiness was a top priority for him and I finally felt like we were on equal footing.
I did struggle some when we got back together and the therapist I was seeing at the time said that trust is a decision you make, You can ask for things that may help make that decision easier, but if I made the decision to trust him, I had to leave everything in the past and not bring it up again.
Jessica is fucking psychotic! But I also don’t don’t think that Brady is telling you the whole story.. Idk. This all so weird. If there were ever a time to decide whether you want to be with each other or not, it’s now. Decide whether you want to invest more in this relationship.
Also those boots are fucking cute.
I think you’re right Chris. it sucks! 😦
It would be concerning to me that Brady said he doesn’t want to rush things when you were talking to him about finding a place that is both of yours. It feels like he has one foot in the relationship and another out. Know what I mean? I think you should get him talking about that.
As for psycho dick sucker, ask yourself if you really want to know the truth there or if you would prefer to move forward and leave it behind you and Brady. It seems likely that Brady has not been completely honest with you about his involvement with her. He slept with her once he had oral sex with her once…. I think it’s highly unlikely that both of those happened on the same night. How long were you with Brady before you got to the oral stuff? Can you live knowing that you won’t ever get the truth? If you knew the whole truth would it change if you want to be with Brady? Answer those questions for yourself and I think you will know what to do after that.
yes I know what you mean! he always says he doesn’t want to rush into anything and I don’t think looking at places together is rushing anything esp since we’ve been living together and want a future together. I’m starting to think he’s just telling me what I want to hear when it comes to marriage/future but doesn’t want to actually do anything because he’s afraid of commitment. and! Brady going down on me was the first sexual thing we ever did! maybe that’s how he gets girls, idk.
This. Dude, some dudes love oral. I do not at all think it means he was more into her or implies anything.
Also, mercury is still in retrograde till the 9th or 10th, it’s a really hard time for communication in general… Give yourselves a break! You’re doing fine.
For me…I hate having to engage with someone when I come home for the day. It doesn’t matter how much I love and adore that person. I just need a minute to unwind, let go, and switch gears. I kind of feel like Brady might be the same. It’s the same if I’m home and in the middle of something and someone gets home. I just like a quick hello…some space to finish what I’m doing, switch gears, etc. It might come off as rude, but it’s just how I work. Maybe try easing into things a bit more slowly when you get home/Brady gets home. And don’t hesitate to communicate to Brady that’s what you’re doing. That way it doesn’t feel passive aggressive.
gah. I understand that I guess. I’ll try to give him space more.
I’m slightly concerned at the fact that Brady got so extremely defensive when she brought Jessica up. Maybe it was just about the fact that the topic is being brought up again, but in my experience, when someone gets defensive like that, they’re guilty about something. I don’t mean to stir up more trouble, because I do think Jessica is a slight nut job, but in my opinion, Brady’s got something sitting on his chest that’s making him feel guilty. There’s no reason for him to get that defensive (at least the way that it’s portrayed in the post). And you are extremely right, oral sex for a girl is extremely intimate and it’s not something that’s randomly done. I have the same opinion as you. And I think that would be the breaking point for me. How can he say he was thinking about you if he was going down on her? At that point, he’s not thinking about you, he’s not thinking about himself even. Going down on someone is purely for the person who’s receiving pleasure. I don’t know but that would really bother me.
Also, you guys really need to talk and figure things out. If you can’t even live together without arguing every day, what does the future look like for you two? How can you expect to be together for years and years and years if you can’t seem to get along for the last few weeks when you’ve been living together, not even mentioning before you guys were living together. This seems like a really unhealthy relationship. And while I was rooting for it in the beginning, it seems like it’s just getting worse, and that’s not good for you or for him. Your emotions are constantly sky high, and I don’t know if it’s worth the stress.
Love hearing about your life. I really do wish you the best, in whatever you decide to do 🙂
I know Sylvia! I think we are still adjusting to living together but if it doesn’t get better soon I don’t know what’s going to happen.
Idk but I’m questioning Preston’s motives. I am a firm believer in this: If he/she is talking to you about them then he/she is probably to them about you. I find it shady that Preston was talking to someone about you. How did you even come up in the conversation? What exactly did he say about you that she was able to realize it was you? He was clearly very detailed and must have mentioned Brady. And my biggest concern is how comfortable did Preston make this Margaret girl that she felt so free to talk all this shit about you? I wouldn’t let some random stranger talk shit about my friend. Something doesn’t add up and I find the whole thing sketchy. As for Brady, I agree with what others above are saying. It’s definitely a good time reevaluate your relationship and whether or not Brady is the person for you. If you decide he is, then you need to put Jessica behind you once and for all. Fuck her. Let that bitch be someone else’s headache. Wishing you the best in whatever direction you decide to go.
at this point I feel like I don’t have any choice but to let it go.
I know it is tempting to hear more about Jessica, but it is the relationship equivalent of rubbernecking at a car crash. She’s gone, history. Let it go. She is nuts enough that she held a grudge against you for MONTHS before she sent you that Brady pic. The timing of that picture that makes me think that if anything had happened sooner, you would have gotten a Brady sex pic sooner. She had nothing to show you before that because nothing happened before that. She is actually pretty pathetic and not worth any more of your time. Don’t let a ghost/non-issue ruin your relationship. You have other more real things you and Brady need to work on.
true. I can’t look away though!
Yes, I get that, but picking scabs leaves scars. Gross metaphor, but apt, I think.
I don’t know how pure and innocent Preston’s motives were. It seems like he’s trying to stir the pot. I’m curious how his conversation with Margaret turned to you. Who sits there and divulges so much information about their friend? Something seems fishy.
Regarding Brady do I think that she only hooked up with Brady only once. No. I think there’s a lot more to the story that Brady’s not sharing. In my opinion brady led her on and got what he wanted. You’d be surprised how many men who you’d never suspect do shady shit.
As for getting a place together. I think Brady’s reaction says a lot. I know you threw it out there to gauge the situation but to me it seems like he isn’t looking long term. I think you need to reevaluate this relationship and decide if you’re together for convenience and because you’re comfortable or if you both truly want to be with each other and live each other unconditionally.
I’m working on reevaluating my relationship Liz! don’t worry. and now I’m avoiding going home lol.
Ah, Reese! I wish I had any advice for you! I just wanted you to know I’m reading and rooting for you. Come drink wine and work late with me in Chi! Avoid home (but not really because that won’t actually help)
are you here?!
Reese! Girl! You’re beating a dead horse with the Jessica thing. She’s a shady bitch! We established that longggg ago. Like a previous poster said above, she probably made a whole lot of it up to make herself seem less pathetic and desperate. Brady seems so far from the cheating type.
For the whole suggesting you buy a place together thing, this could be just me, but since you guys moved in together, like you’ve said, it’s been a little rough. While I wouldn’t necessarily rule it out, I don’t think that you should immediately jump to the conclusion that Brady doesn’t want anything long-term just because he doesn’t want to look for a place right now. You guys literally JUST moved in together (which is a big step), and I think it’s reasonable to want to make sure that it is going to go well before investing in a place together (an even bigger step). Brady doesn’t seem like a risk-taker to me, so I think it’s feasible that this could be his line of thinking.
I really liked how you tried to set some ground rules, and I even think it would be a smart conversation to try to have again. Or maybe even try to have this conversation with the counsellor? But for serious, like other commenters said above, if this pattern of bickering or snapping at each other continues, then it will be time to re-evaluate if it’s time to call it quits or not. (But I remain firmly on the side of hoping you guys can work it out lol). Love ya girl!
aww thank you! this comment is helpful… I don’t know if Brady is the cheating type but I trust him… I think.
Reeeeese!! Confidence is something you went into this relationship with Brady having lots of! It’s one of the most sexiest traits a woman can have. You are so worried lately, and throwing a lot of things out of proportion and listening to people who don’t know Brady the way that you do..
Man up girl. Remember you are a smart, beautiful and well established woman! You are so young, don’t waste your energy on these things. If you stop worrying and questioning every single aspect of your relationship, I bet a lot of the tension will be gone.
Being in a relationship means trusting someone. If you can’t trust Brady, break up. But he hasn’t done anything that you haven’t done. So really think about it.
If you think eating a girl out is really intimate, doesn’t mean Brady feels the same e way. You can have different wants and needs. Don’t just assume these things.
We love you, girl!!! Dont be hating on yourself so hard!
aww. thank you so much.
First off..I love Brady (sorry! lol) so I want this to work out. I’ve been in slightly similar situations and I think you both need a break together with NO distractions. No friends, no work emails/calls and no drinking (at least not to the point of being hammered all the time). Take a week and really see where both of your hearts are and determine if what you have is worth fighting over. I feel like you guys living in limbo – you are talking about marriage but then if you bring it up he says not now. He complains how you spend your money but seeing as how you are technically still single and still pay all your own bills it’s not really something he can comment on. IDK…a lot of times I shake me head at the crap you pull but there is some stuff that hes doing lately that really isn’t cool. Totally understand how him going to see his family on his own and refusing to talk about stuff would make anyone act out.
neither is us really take vacations but maybe we should. I’m actually looking up some places we can go now and I’m not taking no for an answer.
Personally – this could tell you a lot. If ha can’t/won’t commit to some time fixing whats wrong then you may have your answer. Obviously you both have job so a trip may not be able to happen right away but put a time frame on it.
you know what, I’ll do it and not take no for an answer. usually he just needs a little push and will do whatever I need.
I think Brady might be trying to find out if Reese and him are on the same page when it comes to financial goals/life goals. That’s why he is nagging her about her spending habits. If your plan is to one day own a nice house/ have kids and want them to go to a good school/be able to have expensive hobbies, … it’s generally not a good idea to be with someone who doesn’t focus on saving and spends all their money on short-term impulses. The general tendency towards money usually doesn’t change radically just because you pool your respective accounts! Sp Brady (whose seems to be more of a saver) probably doesn’t want to get into a situation where Reese and him have pooled accounts (since Reese seems to be more of a spender) when Reese and him are on such a different page in this regard. And he shouldn’t want that! When it’s important to you to have a nice safety net and stability it is just not smart to risk someone going crazy online-shopping because they decide on a whim that they need “x”. My prediction is: as long as you don’t prove to Brady that you act responsibly with your finances you two moving in with each other and/or marrying will never happen.
You two need to have many conversations and one of them is about financial/lifestyle goals. What are your saving for? Do you want to own a house at one point? When? How do you want each other to treat your money? Are you on the same page when it comes to these things? What do you need from Brady to feel financially save? What does he need from you in that regard?
I bet this will be a very enlightening conversation.
I guess I can understand this. why can’t Brady ever initiate these conversation though instead of being all passive aggressive? ugh.
Wow…my typos keep getting worse. Must be the heat factor of the blog!
Hi Reese! I have been a ghost reader for a long time now, but I wanted to say two things. 1.) I think you’re awesome. Everyone says you’re crazy, but I think you just get a feeling and go for it. You’re not afraid to go after what you want and I love that about you. 2.) I wanted to plug my own blog! I just started it, but I’d love any feedback from one of my favorite bloggers 😉
http://othersideofpenny.blogspot.com/
There are so many comments and I wish I had the time to read them (because I’m curious lol) BUT one thing I want to mention… Think about the text messages you saw. JESSICA was sending him nudes (BEFORE you two started talking) and BRADY was responding with NO INTEREST, right? He wrote things like ‘nice’ if I’m remembering correctly and I don’t know about anybody else, but if I got that bland response to a full frontal nude I sent to a guy, I’d kill myself lol.
Good luck with everything!
lolol. I died at this comment!
ahahahahahah. this comment is everything.
Moving in together is crappy at first in my experience as well. We fought a lot for the first 6months or more. 3 years later and we are awesome. We argue sometimes and sometimes it gets ugly but not as often as in the beginning. As for him being weird about u guys looking for a place, maybe he doesn’t want to own something with you before you are married? Which makes sense. If u were just talking about renting, then it doesn’t make sense for him to rent when he already owns. You just need adjustment time, it doesn’t matter who’s house ur living in.
I agree with one of the comments about Brady not bringing out the best in you. I have been in a similar situation.
I don’t think you should bring the Jessica situation again and again, just do it once and end it there. As for Brady cheating on you, I highly doubt it.
http://www.elinainlondon.com
Let it go! Jessica, that is!! She’s not worth it.
Living together with your significant other is HARD. It takes adjustments from every one and I hate to say it but some bad habits will never ever die! You pick what you can handle. Fight the battles worth fighting. Money is usually a hot topic in any relationship with one being a control freak (Brady) and you being a spender. I’m the saver in my relationship. Im in my 11 year marriage relationship and it’s still that way and neither of us have changed a lot. It’s better but not ‘exactly like I want it’. It’s hard. A year after I married at 31 I wondered ‘what was I thinking’!! My hubby doesn’t talk much about significant issues (similar to Brady) and those guys are harder to handle. Calmy discuss things that you have an issue about except drop past relationships. Don’t expect him to discuss everything with you, he’s not used to that yet. He may never be one that’s ‘open’. He probably has no idea on your feelings of a given subject. Give him his space (think cave man) when he comes home and let him go in search of you. Men like the chase! The quiet ones are so hard but once they commit they seem to stay that way. I didn’t think it very thoughtful of Brady to invite his friend to stay at his place with out first running it by you but sometimes guys just don’t ‘think’. I view you two as opposites attract. Really think about what makes him special as compared to others you have dated and determine if those qualities are worth fighting for. The grass isn’t always greener with a new man. I liked that you are seeking outside professional help!! I wish we were still seeing a professional-communication for any couple is key. After what I’ve read about his parents I don’t doubt he has ‘commitment phobia’. I’m rooting for you!!