i need to knock some sense into her.

Mike was back at the office on Monday. Scott sent me a flurry of messages early Monday morning telling me exactly what Mike was looking for, suggesting exact phrases for me to say, buzz words to throw in, what not to say and do, etc. I totally get that Scott wants to make a good impression on Mike, but chill. I’ve never been someone who tries really hard to impress the higher ups. I believe in doing your job well and not having to pretend. That usually works pretty well.

The sales meeting went fine. Scott tried to do all the talking, but Mike told him that he wanted to hear from the team and basically shushed him. I wasn’t dying to talk to Mike or anything, but it was nice that he at least wanted to hear from me.

Mike concluded the meeting by saying, “Okay,” and then packing up his stuff and leaving the conference room. Kelsey quickly unplugged her laptop and chased him out of there.

“I’m happy with the way that went,” Scott said, as if the meeting went well by chance, not because I’d done well. It kind of felt like he wasn’t giving me credit which I didn’t like.

Later on in the day, Kelsey had to go run some errands for Mike, including overnighting something at FedEx. She stopped in the open area where Scott, my team and I were working to get something and informed us that she was running errands and would be back.

“Oh, while you’re at FedEx, do you think you could drop two boxes off for me?” I asked her. “They already have labels.”

“Did you just ask her to drop off a box at FedEx for you?” Scott asked like that was the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.

I thought I was missing something, like an inside joke so I said, “Uh… Yes. Please?”

“Um, sure, that’s fine,” Kelsey said and she took my boxes with her.

After Kelsey was gone, Scott said, “I cannot believe you just asked Kelsey to run an errand for you.”

I gave him a weird look. “It wasn’t really an errand. She was going there anyway.”

One of my team members snickered and Scott turned to look at him. The two burst into laughter – incredulous laughter.

“I cannot believe you asked our senior Vice President’s assistant to run an errand for you! She’s his assistant, not yours, Reese. One of us would have been happy to go to FedEx for you.” Scott started off laughing, but got more serious as he finished his statement.

I was really surprised that it was such a big deal. I guess I didn’t realize that we have to worship Kelsey too, even though she is just an assistant. This company is weird.

I ended up staying at work really late because every time I tried to leave, Scott would pile more work on my desk. And the most annoying thing is that the work was really petty stuff like data entry and putting post it notes on things. Really just things that an assistant should be doing. Which is why I need one.

By the time I got home, I didn’t want to see anything work related ever again. Brady was sitting on the couch doing work and I sat down next to him.

“I’m so annoyed,” I said.

“Really?” Brady replied, not even looking at me.

“Yes! I’m exhausted. I hate having to be super fake for my superiors. We were all on pins and needles all day,” I went on.

Brady didn’t say anything so I added, “Don’t you hate that?”

“Mmhm,” he said and I could tell that he wasn’t even listening.

It kind of hurt my feelings so I left to take a shower. Then I made some tea and got in bed. Even though Brady and I are doing good, I’ve been looking at apartments. You have to keep your options open! Plus I’ve been seeing a ton of really cute and girly apartments on Instagram and I miss having my own space to decorate however I please.

Anyway, I’m dying to tell y’all this. Yesterday Carly randomly sent me a picture of guy with really nicely styled brown hair, a beard, and greenish eyes. He kind of looked like Chris, but smaller and more put together. Chris would never style his hair that nicely.

I texted her back saying, “Cute. Who’s he?”

And she said, “:-). Isn’t he? He’s a guy I’ve been talking to.”

I obviously wasn’t thinking she meant “talking to” like romantically because she’s engaged so I’m like, “What do you mean talking to?”

“Reese, don’t judge me. I met him on Tinder.”

Ew.

“Carly, wtf. Why do you have Tinder? You’re about to get married,” I said.

“Omg, I know!! Stop judging me. I want to have fun before I’m an old married woman.”

As you can imagine I was sitting there, trying to understand what I was reading.

“So have you hung out with this guy?” I asked.

“We met on our lunch breaks and got drinks lol. But I might see him on over the weekend because Chris is going out of town.”

I didn’t respond for a little while because I honestly couldn’t think of anything to say and Carly went on, “Don’t say anything!”

I finally said back, “Carly, don’t. That isn’t right. Chris doesn’t deserve that.”

“Brady doesn’t deserve a lot of things you do to him. Hello, Devin??? Chris is going to be okay. It’s not like I’m going to have sex with the guy.”

I’m not sure what point she was trying to make by bringing up Devin because I definitely didn’t do anything wrong by talking to him.

And so now I’m sitting on this news. I don’t know what to do. Should I talk to Kendra about it? I don’t know if y’all know this, but I have a huge mouth and I’m dying to tell someone. Especially Brady. Not because I want Carly and Chris to fight or break up or anything, but I really want to know his thoughts. And if Chris suspects anything. And if Chris is doing anything sketchy himself. (Ballerina girl?) What if they’re both using Tinder?

Luckily Brady has been working late the past two nights so I haven’t had the opportunity to tell him, but I can’t guarantee that I can keep this in. I know I shouldn’t interfere with their relationship and should let them deal with it on their own and etc, but I’m dying right now. And Carly texted me today about rehearsal dinner details like nothing was wrong. What the fuck is wrong with my friend? I need to knock some sense into her.

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43 thoughts on “i need to knock some sense into her.

  1. Jen says:

    Saying Kelsey is just an assistant rubs me the wrong way. It’s like you think you’re better than her because you have a better position.

    I don’t know what to think about Carly. I hope she doesn’t cheat on Chris.

  2. Sara says:

    This is going to sound weird, but what would happen if you talk to your dad about this? He seems level headed, there is no way he would contact anyone or let something slip by mistake. He is totally objective, and the way you describe him, he comes off as a stand up guy. I was originally thinking Kendra, but you have mentioned that she can be judgemental, so I went with the dad idea. He might even have some good advice for you as to how to process this information. If nothing else, you can spill the story to a human being (as opposed to us internet ghosts) without fear of reprisals. If not your dad, then I say the only person you could talk to about this is Brady. That being said, I agree that the whole situation is weird and really quite uncool, IMHO. I can’t see how someone could rationalize cheating. Carly is cheating emotionally on Chris even if she is not boning the Tinder guy.

    And as to asking Kelsey to drop some Fedex packages for you? Youwere actually being efficient by saving a trip there. I agree is is strange/stupid that Scott and crew spazzed out about it. I agree 100% with the doing the job well and not pretending thing. Kissing ass does not create respect in higher ups.

    • Anna says:

      I get the impression that the rest of the crew was laughing at Scott for his reaction, not at Reese because she asked. It makes perfect sense to ask Kelsey to bring two more things with her if she’s already bringing a load to be sent. Especially since they were already stamped. I worked as an assistant for years and wouldn’t have had an issue with a request like that. You support one person, but you also work with the entire team.

      I like the idea of talking to your dad about Carly (omitting names, of course). And it makes me kind of sad that, based on your descriptions of the people you have closest to you in your life, not one of them seems like the kind of person you could legit bounce this off of without there being some sort of repercussion or backlash. You need some better people in your life. She’s completely sketch being on Tinder and probably shouldn’t be getting married. Especially having a complete non-reaction to ballerina girl being way too physical with her fiancé right in front of her. Unless…. are they swingers? 🙂

    • I would talk to my dad, but I hate burdening him with my problems, especially ones that aren’t even really mine. if I said “my friend” he would think I meant myself lol.

      • Sara says:

        I actually bet your dad would be thrilled to be able to be able to dispense his wisdom. It will also make him feel important to you. All he has to do in return is listen. You are not asking him for money or even using him. I have a large group of friends and many people I can talk to but I still turn to my dad frequently for advice and some of the best ideas I get come from him. Still, not all families are the same.

    • Ellie says:

      honestly I am an assistant and I would have told Reese no and so would my boss.
      I am my boss’s assistant and although I am a team player I am not everyone’s assistant and errand boy. So no you can think what you want about it but I would have said no.

      And having someone say “just an assistant” is exactly why a no would have been given. People tend to not respect the position and there for Kelsey should have put her foot down.

      • Vanessa says:

        I completely agree with Ellie. 2x already you’ve said she’s just an assistant. respecting someone shouldn’t be based on title. We get it you have this kick ass position while she’s just an assistant but honestly you should have taken your non work related packages to fedex yourself. If it was work related then it’s okay to ask but for personal shit…she’s not your servant or obligated to you. But again since she’s just an assistant you think you can take advantage of her.

      • whoa. the packages were work related. I wouldn’t ask her to send a personal package for me! I didn’t mean to say she’s just an assistant as in I’m better than her, as I explained before.

      • Hope Vanessa apologizes
        For that really rude, unwarranted tirade she just unleashed.

        But do agree that I think
        It’s a bit over-zealous to ask a presidents assistant to do things for you. Especially when the culture of the company is
        Clearly a little weird. You might want to check on how the hierarchy of things work.

        And…
        Oh Carly. What the hell are you doing?!?

      • Anna says:

        Kelsey certainly could have said no and rightfully so. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with Reese asking her to bring two packages with others already going to the same place. Key word “asking”. Efficiency-wise, it makes sense.

  3. Alli says:

    Wow. I’m actually really disappointed in Carly. She’s always seemed level-headed and kind, and this is extremely sketchy. I can’t believe she actually went on Tinder, met up with a guy, and is now going to see him when Chris is out of town! How isn’t that cheating?!? I’m just very shocked.

    Also, Scott is spineless. I think he had that reaction because he spends so much time trying not to attract Mike’s attention, that any extra contact with Mike, even through Kelsey, terrifies him. What a wet noodle.

    • Alli says:

      Also, I’m pretty sure Carly came to you because she KNOWS what she’s doing is wrong and was hoping you would excuse her behaviour because you’ve had some questionable contact with other guys during your relationship. (Not taking a shot at you, just saying I think she thought you were the most likely to say it was okay.) When she got so defensive, saying not to judge her and turning the blame around on you, I think that reveals that she knows how low her behaviour is.

      • Alli says:

        Carly is also putting you in a very bad position by asking you to hide this from Brady. Think about how angry you were when Brady hid John’s cheating from you. This is basically the same situation in reverse.

      • that’s such a good point! I think I’ve decided that I will tell Brady and depending on his reaction, I will tell Carly that I told him. if her relationship might possibly end, I will want to warn her and explain why I did it.

    • I totally agree. he tries WAY too hard to impress Mike. it’s seriously so annoying. be great at your job and you’ll attract a lot of attention!

      • Alli says:

        Exactly. He probably doesn’t realize that the reason Mike treats him so badly is that he acts like a little bootlicker, which a strong person won’t respect. I think if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll earn far more respect than Scott has.

  4. Luita says:

    I think you should tell Brady. But the reason you tell him is because he’s your boyfriend not because he’s Chris’ friend. Brady seems like the kind of person who would stay out of it, but you would find the relief to finally tell someone.
    Maybe send Carly an email and tell her what you think without judging her. Just tell her you are concerned she’s looking outside for things that are lacking in her relationship and if that’s the case, does she really want to marry Chris? Is she really in love with him, you just don’t do that to someone you love. You can share with her that you know exactly what it feels like to be cheated on and it’s not something you wish on anyone else.
    Don’t tell Kendra, she’s too judgy and Carly would just mad at you for telling her.
    You see Reese getting the ring doesn’t always make people happy, you are doing great, just work on your relationship with Brady, make sure he’s really the one you want for life and if it ever happens I bet you would have a better marriage than Carly or Kendra.

  5. kelseyxsays says:

    Honestly, what is Scott’s deal? I don’t see any problem with asking the VP’s assistant to run an errand for you… When she was ALREADY going to go to the same place anyway. 🙄 IdeK what his deal is, but I would make sure you’re careful with Scott because he is totally *that* person who would throw you under the bus if the opportunity presented itself.

    Carly is a complete and total bitch 1) for what she’s doing to Chris (unless they have some unspoken agreement, but I feel like that’s not true or she would have mentioned it) 2) for putting you in this position 3) for dragging your name into it to make herself feel better about her horrible actions. I would call her ass out on it. I have zero patience for people who act like Carly and I think she needs some tough love and to maybe reevaluate her relationship/engagement. She’s obviously not happy in her current relationship or she wouldn’t even be on Tinder, let alone actually meeting up with some fuckboy she met on there. Like, who does she think she’s kidding? You don’t use TINDER to make new platonic “friends” – let’s be honest. Call. Her. Out. 😑😠👎🏻

  6. Danielle says:

    Ok so I feel like nobody else will agree with me, but I don’t think you should say anything to Brady. You were friends with Carly before Brady and Chris came along and I feel like you relationship with Carly just got back to a good place after the whole thing with her brother. I like the idea of your dad or maybe go see your therapist if you don’t want to burden your dad.

    • someone made a good point and reminded me of how upset I was when he didn’t tel me that John cheated on Kendra so I will tell him. what he wants to do with that information is up to him.

    • Vickie says:

      I agree with this. You need to decide which relationship you value more… Yours and Brady’s or yours and Carly’s. If you tell Brady, and he tells Chris, you can pretty much kiss your friendship with Carly goodbye. What a tough position to be in. I don’t envy you at all. Good luck!

  7. e says:

    I think that if I were you I would’ve already told Brady 🙄

    you can ask him about it maybe he has heard things from chris and I think he would stay out of it. In a way I think he may be better informed on Carly+Chris than you sometimes 😂

  8. Jess says:

    Oh man. I can’t understand why Carly would tell you this, unless it was to validate her actions. I agree with a commenter above, which relationship is more important? Yours and Carly’s? Or yours and Brady’s? Maybe before you talk to Brady you should try calling her out on it more. Let her know how you really feel. Good luck!

  9. Amanda says:

    100% Tell Brady. If he knew Chris was cheating on Carly and never told you/Carly you would flip out (as we all would). Speaking from someone whos been in the situation – if you know someones cheating and still let them get married you feel like shit when it does come out later on. Not saying its your responsibility but if I was the one being cheated on I would rather be hurt then go through with the wedding. The only thing – be prepared for the fallout. Perhaps if Brady does want to tell Chris, maybe there is a way to do it to keep you out of it (like somehow gt him to check her Tinder or even better to say one of Chris’s friends were on Tinder and saw her.

  10. Sara says:

    I would not tell brady. In fact I would just pretend you never got the info. The phrase don’t shoot the messenger came about for a reason, trust me somehow your friends will turn it around on you. If she starts sleeping with the guy maybe I’d consider saying something. What’s she’s doing is wrong but you were right to point out you don’t know their relationship and maybe chris is banging white swan

  11. Ellie says:

    I see so many people on here stating they don’t see a problem asking his assistant to do something for you.

    As an assistant it is refreshing (sarcasm) to see that people don’t respect your job or position and instead see the label assistant and believe you are everyone’s lackey and errand boy. It is funny that you have had major issue with doing anything “not your job” but running your errands is not her job. It was nice of her to do but I am sure if she were aware that she was “just an assistant” that would be the last errand she would have ran.

    She needs boundaries.

      • Ellie says:

        my point is … if it were you and everyone had something you could do for them because you were going, you would have found it rude. In your last post her boss asked Scott to get him a drink and you commented on it being something she should be doing so my perception of how you have felt about her is in the little comments.

        If you stated you were going to Starbucks and Matt told you to pick up some coffees for the meeting later or told Kelsey to stay bc you had packages and she could have sent the packages with you – you would have felt like it was rude.

        I have read your blog for a long time and you approach most situations and people that aren’t over you with a boss’ take charge attitude and I think that will take you far in life and is something that most employers like to see.

        But there are boundaries. You may not feel like you treat ppl as if they are below you, owe you, meant to serve you (LOL) but you do even to the people you care about. Its something that will rub some people the wrong way.

        I am a reader so who cares but I am stating what I would do. I know I don’t have an amazing position but I wont let anyone bulldoze me and I demand respect. You would probably hate me and find me rude. lol

      • Lia says:

        Because you are rude Ellie and clearly have some sort of inferiority complex. The way that every business model works is that there are people on top and people below. If you are an assistant, you are lower on that totem pole. That’s not an insult-it’s the truth. You are not any less valued because you are an assistant, but it still holds true. Reese saw someone going to the post office from work-she asked said person if she could drop off a package at the same post office. She was trying to avoid having to make the same trip twice for no reason. Would it have made you feel better if someone with an equal position as her had been the one going and Reese asked this person instead?

        Seems like the only people that think assistants are below Reese are the assistants commenting all butt-hurt.

  12. Ellie says:

    you can label me as you see fit. I know the truth about myself so it doesn’t hurt me.

    And if the only people who are commenting are people in the position in question to say how they would feel about it and you disregard it because it doesn’t go with your narrative… is that a superiority complex?

    There are team assistants who assist the entire team and their are assistants that assist the person in which they are assigned to.

    I will gladly be seen as rude in order to create boundaries and order. Everyone sees things differently …my ability to say no and create boundaries in order to maintain efficiency was noted as a positive on review. It was actually something that when I started was noted as something I needed to work on because people will begin to dump things they do not feel like doing on to your lap and it will create issues with your actual position. For example I do expenses all the time but I wont do it for more than my managers .. why? because there are plenty of people who don’t want to do their expenses and doing something for one person means that you are opening the door to do it for all and creating expectation. Its always nice to help people but it can become crippling because where do you draw the line?

    So it just depends on where you are.

    • Lia says:

      LOL there is a huge difference between doing someone’s expenses and dropping off a package for them when you are ALREADY GOING THERE. that is efficient. but you seem like someone with an inflated sense of self so you go ahead and be unhelpful. i’m sure that will open up plenty of doors for you 😉

      • Ellie says:

        Thank you! I am sure it will.

        I don’t mind having an inflated sense of self… no one else will inflate it for me. lol

      • Ellie says:

        P.S. – Totally off the topic of this post, but have you ever read the book “nice girls don’t get the corner office”?

        Sometimes as women or assistants or mothers or anything you feel as though being helpful will get you ahead and its not something a man would tell another man. We put ourselves out there to be people pleasers. I know I may come across in a certain manner but the inflated sense of self, the apparently perceived “rudeness”, the willingness to say no has served me well. I am not a mean person, honestly I don’t say no to everything. I am a team player and willing to help but I define my boundaries as I see fit but also respectful, effective and in accordance to my position.

        I have had better titles than the one I currently have so I know both sides. Maybe being older or having a better sense of self and self worth might come across to others as horribly complex but physically, emotionally, mentally and professionally it has aided me for the better. I do hold my self in high regard but I hold everyone in high regard, I respect others, their opinions, their boundaries, their position in life.

        To be honest in real life if I didn’t read the blog and the comments I probably would have thought “what is the big deal its just a package, there is no harm in asking”, my stance wasn’t about going to the post office it was more about the mindset that people carry in regards to how we see , treat, and think of others.

        have a great day! ☺

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