The Friday before Brady left for New York, we decided to have a cute romantic dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Having him home was so nice. I felt less like a lonely, antisocial asshole. Plus, we really missed each other and we’re going out of way to be super cute and sweet. Brady kept referring to himself, me and Tucker as “our family.” He used the phrase a lot while we were looking at apartments. Kind of gaggy, but kind of cute.

At dinner, I addressed the elephant in compression pants in the room. Sydney.

“Isn’t it so weird that Sydney is moving to New York at the same time you decided to move to New York,” I said.

Brady finished chewing. “Yeah, it is a strange coincidence. I had no idea.”

Y’all know I don’t believe in coincidences.

“So when did you find out?” I had to know.

“When I got back from Peru. We’d both already had plans to move,” Brady explained.

“And don’t you think it’s so weird that you hate New York and threw a fucking fit when I wanted to move there with you. And now suddenly, you’re so excited for a career change,” I said.

He could tell what I was getting at and didn’t seem to appreciate it. “I am excited for this opportunity. It has absolutely nothing to do with Sydney. I didn’t even know she was moving until things were already in motion.” Brady chuckled.

“I don’t find any of this funny,” I said, keeping my composure.

“I know, but to imply that us moving to New York has anything to do with Sydney is completely ridiculous.” He shook his head.

I liked that he said “us” and I smiled.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have a fresh start in New York? I think we went through a lot in Chicago, but I’d love to leave that in Chicago. The drama, the feelings about people, the related issues, the negativity…” Brady said.

“The feelings about people?” I repeated.

“Yeah. It would be nice if you didn’t come to New York still harboring all of those negative emotions.”

I kind of felt like he was right and I felt excited about that. Starting over in a brand new city? Not bringing all of my negative feelings with us did seem like it would help me be overall happier.

“I love that, actually. Can we leave Sydney in Chicago too?”

Later that night, we met up with Alex, Emily, Lindsey, Lexi and some others. A bit of a last hoorah if you will. During a moment alone, I asked Alex if he thought it was weird that Sydney was moving to New York.

“You know, New York is a place of opportunity. I don’t think it’s weird that two young people want to go pursue their dreams,” Alex said.

I rolled my eyes because he is so annoying. Pursuing their dreams? Really? Shut up.

The following week was hectic as I had so much shit still to do. I’d sent most of my clothing with the movers, but still overestimated how much room I’d have in my luggage. So I needed to ship things to myself.

I sold my car. Honestly, it was a relief to get rid of the thing. I never even drive anymore. My dad helped me and somehow found a buyer who was not located in Chicago so there a bit of drama surrounding getting the car to the buyer. My dad let me know that it was worth it.

I spoke with the recruiter in New York again. I was a little unsure why she still had interview questions for me and why she wouldn’t schedule one official interview instead of calling me at random times. Luckily though, she caught me at a good time and we were able to have a decent conversation. She didn’t give me any insight as to if my transfer was approved the last time I spoke to her. So I was moving without a job lined up.

I had a phone interview for a client relationship manager for a medium sized interiors company. I think it went okay, but their range is less than what I’m looking for. I am not in any position to take a pay cut, especially when my half of the rent is almost $1,000 more than I was paying in Chicago. Yes, I’m helping with rent.

And finally, Scott had me working like a slave my last two weeks. Every time I did literally anything (everything) he’d say, “You know, we are really going to miss you around here.”

He planned a going away party complete with pizza, cake, ice cream and rosé. I was so wrapped up in being excited about moving that I didn’t even think to be sad. But my coworkers who I don’t even care about doing something so thoughtful for me really touched my little heart. It started sinking in. I’d be leaving all my friends, Kendra, my fucking best friend, Mia and everything I know. It’s sad, but I didn’t cry.

I’m in New York now. I’ve been here for three days and I do not have a job. Yet. So that’s what I’m working on. If you don’t hear from me for a while, that’s why. Ttyl!