Paris was fabulous. I want to move there. We did all of the typical tourist sites the first two days (including the Notre Dame the day before the fire. I’m so glad Brady made sure we went inside). I ate my weight in pastries, macarons and fucking cheese, but we did so much walking that it doesn’t count.
My favorite things were everything; like I would literally move there in a heartbeat. It’s like urban but beautiful and everyone is well dressed and snooty and smokes cigarettes all day. I imagine pursuing a career as an artist there – painting all day at my gallery and drinking and socializing in the evenings. I’d wear midi length dresses with red lipstick, leather jackets or wool trench coats and Gucci sneakers. We took a day trip to Versailles which is where I’ll be living after my move to Paris.
We were only there for five days which is not nearly enough time. We didn’t even go clubbing. I can’t wait to go back, but also I need to travel more in general. There’s so much more of the world to see!
When we got back to New York, I was exhausted and felt icky. I’d felt the same way in Paris, but I figured it was from walking around so much and eating literally everything I laid my eyes on. Brady went back to work immediately, but I worked from home since clearly I had a stomach bug with my tiredness, constipation and puking. Getting the whole sick would be irresponsible!
After being sick all weekend, Brady was over me being a baby (first of all, I never get sick so I get a pass and secondly, Brady becomes the hugest baby when he is sick), so I went to urgent care to get some medicine.
This is kind of fucked up, but the nurse who helped me looked exactly like someone who Brady should be with. Small frame, dark brown hair pulled up into a ponytail, angular face, boring. She looked like she runs marathons on the weekends, but also lifts one day a week so she isn’t too skinny. Like Brady would look great with her and I’m sure his mom would love her. I could picture them all being a big, happy family.
“Are you sure aren’t pregnant?” she asked, after reviewing my symptoms and doing like, one test.
“I’m sure. I’ve been on birth control for years.” It didn’t even cross my mind because I was having all day sickness, not just morning sickness. I’ve also been on birth control for so long that I didn’t even think I was fertile anymore. I haven’t had a regular period in literal years.
“Okay,” Mallory, PA, said, smiling at me condescendingly. “Why don’t we take a quick test to make sure? I want to rule out all possibilities before sending you out of here with no answers.”
At first I was going to refuse because Mallory was being annoying, but then I decided to humor her. It would be nice to prove her wrong. She had me pee into a little cup and then left for twenty minutes.
Finally, Mallory came back empty handed and sat her ass down on the stool. “You are indeed pregnant, my friend.”
I just stared at her.
“I recommend seeing an OB as soon as possible. For your morning sickness, I’ve heard of women eating ginger candy or Preggie Pops…”
Brady’s new girlfriend was really trying to tell me I was pregnant.
“That’s impossible,” I let her know.
“Your OB will give you another test to confirm,” she said, smiling.
After I left, I made an appointment with some random gyno I found on ZocDoc because I hadn’t even been to the doctor since I moved to New York. Brady didn’t come home until 10 PM, thank goodness. I sat on the couch drinking wine and Googling pregnancy symptoms all evening even though I still had a ton of work to catch up on. I was also texting Brendan who was filling me in on a meeting that I’d missed where Mike had a temper tantrum. So sad I missed that.
The next morning, the gyno confirmed what Mallory said. I argued with this woman also letting her know that I was on birth control and telling her about my lack of periods. And this woman pulled out a chart and a calendar so we could talk about how it was possible for me to get pregnant.
“By not taking your birth control correctly, you created the opportunity to get pregnant. Birth control pills are only effective if you use them right.”
And then she had to do an ultrasound to see how far along I was since I couldn’t remember the last time I had a period. A fucking ultrasound. I was numb. She stuck the tube up and blocked the little tv screen with her body so I couldn’t see anything.
“It looks like you’re about six weeks,” she told me.
“You’re fucking kidding,” I said out loud. Six weeks. Do you know what I’ve been doing for the past six weeks? Not treating my body like there was a baby growing in it, that’s for sure. I thought about the many, many happy hours I’d attended with Kristina and Brendan and all the wine I’d consumed in Paris.
I sat there dumbfounded while she explained next steps, how to take care of myself, talked about a due date. It was odd, but I felt nothing. Not excited, not upset, just like….nothing. Numb.
When I left, I called the only person who I felt could relate. Carly.
“Hi, boo!” she answered the phone.
“I just left the doctor. I’m pregnant, I guess,” I said back.
“You’re what? Pregnant?” she squealed.
“Allegedly.” I hopped in a cab.
“That’s amazing – I’m so excited! Does Brady know? How far along are you? When did you find out?”
“Literally just now. Carly, I don’t want a baby and I don’t know what to do.”
I could hear Baby Sloane babbling in the background. “I felt the same way, but it’s really such a blessing. I can’t imagine life without Sloane. Brady is going to be ecstatic. How are you going to tell him?”
Brady was not going to be happy. “I don’t know. I’m still not convinced it’s true. How did you tell Chris?”
“I made him a card. He was so happy he cried.”
I couldn’t imagine Brady being so happy he cried. I imagined he’d have the same non-reaction as me.
“Do you hope it’s a boy or a girl?” Carly continued.
“I have to go,” I said and hung up.
When I got home, I sent Brady a text that said, “You need to come home as soon as you can.”
He read my message and then took fifteen minutes to say, “Probably won’t be home until late. Eat without me.”
“This is serious, Brady.”
When Brady didn’t immediately respond, I decided to go to work. I had a ton to still catch up on and I definitely needed a distraction. I stopped by on my way in to say hello to Mike, who told me that he wanted to meet in an hour.
“Hiiiii, how was it?” Kristina said, referring to my vacation when she stopped by my office a little bit later.
“It was absolutely amazing. I didn’t want to come home,” I said back.
“We should catch up over happy hour later. I feel like I have so much to tell you,” she said.
“Mmm, maybe,” I said, knowing I couldn’t. “I’ll let you know.”
And since I knew I wouldn’t be attending a happy hour I tried to get as much information from her as I could over chat.
Mike was waiting in his office for me. From Kristina, I found out that things had been somewhat chaotic while I was away so I was ready for Mike’s wrath. It didn’t help that I was five minutes late to our meeting due to being sick.
“Reese, hi. I hope you enjoyed your time off,” he greeted me, not bothering to look up from his iPad.
“Mmhm.”
“I need you to wrap up the high rise project. It’s taking too long, we all know that and we will be in breach of contract if it continues going on,” he continued.
I nodded.
“I will be out of office next Wednesday through Friday so I’ll need you to step in during my absence. There are some things you’ll need to be up to speed on so expect an influx of forwarded emails from me.” Mike still hadn’t looked up at me. “Set up some time to work with Kristina this week. I’m losing my patience with her.”
“Okay.”
He finally looked up. “Do you have anything for me?”
And to my absolute horror, that is when I decided that it was all too much and I burst into tears. Actual tears in Mike’s office. I heard him sigh loudly.
“I’m sorry,” I blubbered.
He held up a hand. “I know it’s a lot. Take the rest of the day off and please don’t come back until you’re ready to work.”
I nodded and hustled out of there. The last thing I needed was Mike witnessing me having a breakdown. I packed my shit and hightailed it out of there.
On my way home I picked up a chicken burrito from Chipotle and then because I didn’t think that was enough, I also grabbed several chocolate sprinkled donuts. Obviously all of it disagreed with my stomach and I spent an hour being sick in the bathroom. I bathed and got in bed and waited for Brady to come home.
Kendra called. Obviously Carly had told her what was going on.
“Is it true?” she said into the phone excitedly. It sounded like she getting into a car or something.
“Ugh, Kendra,” I moaned. “I don’t know what to do.”
“This is so exciting, Reese. Are you excited? I knew you were going to get pregnant! How do you feel?” she continued.
“Congratulations Reese!” I heard John call from the background.
“You told John? My mom doesn’t even know yet!”
“He overheard. How do you feel, Reese? Are you okay?”
“No! This is literally the worst time for this to happen. I want a baby, just not now. I’m not prepared at all,” I whined.
“No one’s ever quite prepared for a baby. It’s scary now, but you’ll be surprised how quickly your maternal instincts kick in. This is great for you two, I think. It’ll force you to grow up and y’all can form a real bond outside of getting drunk every weekend.”
Excuse me? Kendra had some fucking nerve. She always acts like she and John are the most perfect adults and I really did not need that. Plus, I needed to tell Brady before he heard from someone else since Carly was telling everyone and everyone’s husbands were “overhearing.”
Brady walked through the door at 8:00pm. I was laying on the couch with a can of ginger ale and a bag of Doritos. He glanced at me quickly before making a beeline for the bedroom. “Are you feeling better?”
I followed him. “No. In fact, I got an update on my condition.”
Brady glanced over his shoulder at me. “Yeah, and?”
I was oddly excited to drop this bomb on him – especially after how cold and annoyed he was acting with me. “I’m pregnant.”
I could see him clench, but he continued getting undressed and didn’t bother facing me for a second.
“You are? Seriously?” Brady turned back to me, with his shirt open.
“Seriously. Two doctors confirmed,” I said, matter-of-factly.
“I thought you were on birth control.”
“I was. I am. It failed, obviously. Which can happen.”
“It only fails when you don’t take it.” Redness was creeping up Brady’s neck.
“Actually no, the doctor today explained to me how it works and it actually happens more often than you think. If you don’t take it take it at the exact same time everyday it can screw with your hormones,” I explained, calmly.
“Don’t you think it would have been important to understand all of this a long time ago? You should know how birth control works by now.”
“Don’t you think you should have known before blowing your load inside me?” I exclaimed. “This isn’t just my fault!”
Brady gave me a weird look, tilting his head. “I just don’t believe you. I don’t think you’re really pregnant.” He walked in the bathroom and turned on the shower.
Okay. If that’s how he wanted to be, that was fine. I put 27 blankets on the couch to make a comfortable sleeping area and turned on Drag Race reruns. This was after I’d slipped the doctor’s note under the bathroom door that said, “Patient is pregnant.”
I expected Brady to come out and talk to me like an adult – we had so much to discuss. I was already 6 fucking weeks in, after all! But he shut the door to the bedroom and went to sleep with Tucker. And I was up all night texting everyone and eating whatever I could find.
hot mess in high heels. 
First of all, so excited for the update. Second, WTF. I’m confused as to why he just locked himself in the room and didn’t acknowledge. Third, you deserve better girl. I’m 36 weeks pregnant and although my boyfriend at the time, now husband, wasn’t ready he was incredibly supportive and loving. I know Brady isn’t the best with communication but I feel something is off. Congratulations on your pregnancy though, a baby is always a blessing!
I can’t believe Brady behaved like that. Sometimes birth control fails and he can’t fully blame you, it takes two to tango.
Congratulations though ❤️
Omg! I’m always happy to see an update, but wasn’t expecting THIS. Brady is being the worst. As you pointed out, this isn’t ALL your fault – especially if he finished inside you. But congrats! I have a couple friends who had unexpected pregnancies and they can’t imagine life without their babies now. I mean, his mom is going to go BALLISTIC (but who cares *shrugs*)
Holy Shit.
Okay now that I’ve had a minute to get over my shock I’m ready to talk.
I think the sums up how Brady must have felt. I’ve seen it. That look on a guys face when you tell them you’re unexpectedly pregnant. Give him a minute and go buy some prenatals. They’re huge pills, chewable, gummy, doesn’t matter what you go for but go get them.
“I’d wear midi length dresses with red lipstick, leather jackets or wool trench coats and Gucci sneakers” <- Girrrl YAAAASSSSS!! ❤ ….shall i congrats you or wait till next post??… dont leave me hanging too long 😛
Wow girl…that’s is crazy. Brady needs to stop with the bullshit. Birth control fails all the damn time. If he wan’ted to be sure he should have used a condom also. I hope he comes to his senses and talks to you like an adult. You don’t deserve to be called a liar and treated like that. Hope things get better for you!
Ummmmm wow. Based on how you describe your relationship idk if having a child is the best thing.
Up to you of course. Good luck!
I don’t disagree with you, but it’s a bit too late for that decision now.
Except it’s not too late to decide not to have a kid. 🤷🏻♀️
for me, it is
He’s a pharmacist, he knows how that shit works and he would know the failure rate. I’ve had friends get pregnant on several forms of oral pill and even on an IUD. I’d try to get to the bottom of his shitty attitude though. If he hoped to skirt the issue of you guys ever having kids because he truly never wanted one, he needs to own that because you have never been shy about the fact you wanted a baby one day. It could be something as simple as he’s scared that you will turn into Dom after.
First off congrats! I hope the morning sickness passes quickly!! I agree with your friends; no one is ever fully prepared for a baby! Brady’s reaction- no words!!! I hope after Brady takes a moment to digest the news, he actually communicates his feelings. You two def need to have a honest conversation.
totally.
Congrats Reese! Maybe it’s just shock coming from Brady, but calling you a liar isn’t cool. Thinking perhaps he’s scared of his mother’s reaction since she’s already not happy about the living situation (?) Guess now would be the right time for him to stand up to her. Lol. I’m sure he will come around and become excit
Wow sorry my phone decided to go ahead and post before I was ready . *excited soon enough.
lol this made me laugh
Reese, first off! I was in the same boat… a relationship that truly has its rocky moments, and then I found out I was pregnant. I never really thought I wanted to be a mom, or that I would be a good mom. I wish I could say our relationship is the best it’s ever been, but now we work on things together way more, and focus on communicating. Having my little boy changed my life, and I would say the same thing even if baby daddy jumped ship immediately! You are a strong, independent woman who will be a wonderful mother!
okay, glad to hear it worked out for you! ♥️
Girl,
I don’t think I have ever heard if this not working out! Okay, I have, but in cases where the parents decide to keep the baby, the worst case scenario is two loving parents who also live with 2 loving grandparents.
Of course there are children with sad lives, but not when they have two healthy, successful parents. You two will do awesome! Have you told your mom?
i have not told my mom yet! 🤐
Both congratulations and concerns all wrapped into one (concerns on Brady not you)! I’m sorry the morning sickness is so rough. It would also be worthwhile to check in with your doctors regarding your alcohol consumption before you found out you were pregnant, as alcohol can have a pretty severe impact especially during the first trimester. Obviously there was no way to prevent that since you had no idea that you were pregnant, and not said to make you feel yucky, just something to check on.
I am so horrified by Brady’s behavior. That’s just completely unacceptable. I get that people get stressed and shocked and have their own reactions, but Jesus. Couples therapy can be a total godsend, my husband and I use it to work on our communication issues and it’s amazing what having a good mediator can do. If you can, find a therapist that uses the Gottman method. It’s super time consuming but also super thorough. You take an assessment, each meet with the therapist separately, and then discuss the assessment together. The assessment shows where issues lie that need to be worked on. Also there’s a book you read with assignments etc. Might be useful.
I also have a good friend who’s kids were almost all oops babies. Depo shot for one, and oral birthday control for the other. Doctors very rarely provide adequate explanations and directions on how to use birth control, and that IS a huge issue. But not yours, that’s an issue caused by careless/strapped for time docs.
Congratulations on your incoming tiny human, I’m sure it’s scary now but that you’ll make an excellent mom.
I’m sorry Brady isn’t being supportive. I hope it was just his anxiety making him act like a jerk and by your next post you’ll both feel better about everything. I hope you’re feeling better soon!
thank you!
Omg! Totally wasn’t expecting this. I’ve been reading your blog since the beginning but I’ve never commented, I think we’re the same age but we literally have different lives lol. From someone who’s first kid was a complete surprise, I just have to say think long and hard whether you’re ready for the responsibility of raising a tiny human. Yes it’s extremely rewarding, but it’s also super fucking hard too…I’m sorry for the way Brady reacted and truly wish you all the best whatever happens. ❤
Yes, this. Raising a kid is really hard. I love my son more than anything, he was very much wanted and planned, but it is hard work, and I am lucky to have a husband that wants to be an involved parent, AND a nanny (once I went back to work) that thinks the sun revolves around my son. It’s rewarding, but it’s the biggest change you’ll ever make for your lifestyle. I would think long and hard if you are really ready for this because life will have a lot of joy with a baby but a lot of hard tough moments, esp when they’re babies and totally dependent on you and when you have a partner that isn’t around a lot bc he works a LOT (my H averages around 60-80h/wk at his hospital job, with about one day off a week), and you’re not near your support system (we have no family in this city).
I really worry about Brady. His reaction was awful and you and the baby deserved a lot better. I hope he comes around but I think he’s showing you who he truly is.
I also am very 🤔 at both of you. You’ve been on BC for how many years and never looked or asked to see how it really works? Like what? You’re a really smart fucking woman, you shoulda known better. And let’s not get started on Brady the pharmacist not knowing or doing better to make sure you knew. When I was on the pill my H had a reminder on his phone to remind me to make sure I took it every single day at the same time bc we 100% did not want kids at that stage in our lives.
And lastly, why the fuck would you go home from the first appointment and drink fucking wine? The irresponsibility and lack of care for your unborn child (that you’ve stated you will keep) you showed literally the same day you found out it exists blows my mind. That’s not showing how to be a good fucking mother. you know better. Do better. Or don’t have it.
i mean, totally. both of us should have known better. for me, not having the baby is not an option and i think criticizing someone for keeping a baby/trying to guilt them into not is so inconsiderate.
Drinking wine after finding out your pregnant is a little more than inconsiderate. Just saying 🤷🏻♀️
totally. I already said that I didn’t believe her which I literally still didn’t.
Omg! Totally wasn’t expecting this. I’ve been reading your blog since the beginning but I’ve never commented, I think we’re the same age but we literally have different lives lol. From someone who’s first kid was a complete surprise, I just have to say think long and hard whether you’re ready for the responsibility of raising a tiny human. Yes it’s extremely rewarding, but it’s also super fucking hard too…I’m sorry for the way Brady reacted and truly wish you all the best whatever happens. ❤
Congratulations!
But, Ummm….
mmhm?
Really want to know what the but umm is for….
Beyond disappointed in Brady’s response. The fact that he actually assumed you were lying to him about something this important speaks VOLUMES about what he actually thinks about you and also about what kind of relationship you actually have. WTF? I’m sorry.
I’m also sorry that you got this unexpected news and an inopportune time in your life. I hope you can shift perspectives and soon begin to think of it as a blessing. The end of feeling sick would help, I’m sure. I feel happy for you, so congratulations! I hope you are able to feel happy about it soon. Or at least not numb. You can do this!
I’m not justifying Brady’s reaction but, I’ve been reading your blog for years and I can remember a couple of times when you lied to him about being pregnant. He probably thinks you are joking or lying now. Lying about being pregnant is not funny and you’ve played with his head about this subject so many times. I’m sure once he realizes you are serious he will come around. Good luck to you both.
First congrats, you’ve already made the decision you’re having this baby so, although shocking for you now, it is very exciting (lots of people feel that numbness, it’s normal). Lots of people are unprepared, you have a great support system through your family and friends, you’ll be fine- with or without Brady.
I didn’t expect him to have a happy reaction, but his reaction was still different then I expected. Very cold. How was he on your trip? He was clearly in a mood already before you told him. I’m sorry he’s treating you like that, it’s shitty and uncalled for. But you love him and now you guys are having a baby, you’ll know what’s right for you along the way, you’ll figure it out. And we’re all here to help if you want it!
Can’t wait for the next update, I hope you get to start enjoying your pregnancy in the near future, it’s a magical time. xx
Wow. I can’t. Believe. Brady. Not to be negative but his reaction was unacceptable. It takes two to make a baby and he had no right to shut you out. Especially when he is not the the one who has to be pregnant and go through childbirth. Just shocking. I really hope he will get his shit together and talks to you like an adult. I’m glad you enjoyed Paris and was able to see Notre Dame before the fire. Carly should not have assumed that you told Kendra. It was not her news to share. I’m tired of Mike. He has no people skills and is just plain rude. The nerve.
Congratulations! That’s exciting and a big step for you so the numb feeling is completely expected.
I think in unexpected situations even if they are happy ones, you see people show their true colours. This is obviously a big shock for both of you but Brady’s first reaction was to shut you out and that makes me so sad for you. If he is surprised by this, then I think he should be able to realize just how surprised YOU are. You are the one, after all, that is growing this teeny human inside of you. Calling you a liar and having you sleep on the couch is literally the exact opposite of what he needs to be doing and it’s SUCH a childish thing to do. At the end of the day you are or should be a team (now more than ever), and he completely left you hanging.
I have no doubt, from your love for Tucker (dog mom!), that you’ll be more than capable of creating a loving home for your baby and being a wonderful mom.
I love how in our society it seems like all the responsibility for not getting pregnant is placed on women. We take pills, have objects inserted in our bodies or shots on a routine basis. And if there is a surprise it’s our fault that it happened.
All guys have to do is put on a condom but most don’t want to because they (insert whiney voice here ) ‘don’t like how it feels’. So again- it’s the woman’s responsibility to protect against it. It’s ridiculous. If a guy doesn’t want to be a dad then wrap your freaking tool! It takes two to make a baby – it should also take two to NOT make a baby. Tell Brady that.
Reese- were you taking your birth control at the same time every day? Not meaning to sound judgey but at your age and for the length of time you’ve been taking them that is something that you should have already known. If you were did you go to a different time zone 6 weeks ago? That’s how I got my oopsie pregnancy – technically I was taking my pill at the same time bc I had an alarm set. Really I should have been taking it an hour earlier. It was only an hour difference for one week but it still mattered to the efficacy.
I had an alarm to take them when I woke up. sometimes I forget and would have to take it in the evening or two in one day. I never had an issue before so I though it was fine. don’t worry, I’ve already been lectured. thanks!
I didn’t mean to lecture. It sucks that the cheapest and most available form of birth control is one that is so easy to mess up on. Every woman has forgotten a day and had to double up the next.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! What upsets me about this post is the pressure put on you, and society, as women. As another poster said, I find it extremely unfair to women that the majority of society assumes it’s solely a woman’s responsibility to prevent pregnancy. We have Brady should know better. Also, I don’t think it’s fair that Carly shared YOUR news with Kendra. I know it was well intentioned, but that was not her news to tell.
ugh I agree!
Ok 1. Have been reading the blog since the start and I think you’ve pulled the “I’m pregnant” but jk I’m not card with Brady a few times – maybe his weird reaction is expecting a similar motivation?
2. Carly sucks, this is not information she should’ve shared with anyone
3. Brady seems not ready – are you sure you want to rope him into having a child he is unhappy about already?
4. Please chill on the wine – if you’re pregnant and planning on keeping it, the first couple weeks are most important for development and you have that duty to your unborn child now
…rope him into having a child he’s unhappy about already? She’s already pregnant. He was part of making that happen. There’s no roping him in. He’s part of it whether he likes it or not.
Yikes girl. Brady is an absolute twat…hopefully since this post you two have had an actual adult discussion about this.
*literally refreshing this site 6x everyday hoping for a new post*
hahah….Yeah thats my comment exactly!! I pray when he saes it on the paper from the doctor he comes crawling to you on his knees! I dont like his reaction to you, nor how he blamed you for messing up the pill. How the hell is that guy a pharmacist?
I really need to start proofreading before I hit reply