please don’t call me dude.

Brady went to work the next morning without making a sound. I overslept slightly and woke up with Tucker snuggled at my feet. What an asshole. I got up and got dressed, determined to prove to Mike that I was ready to work.

When I got to the office, I went face first into my overdue work, only coming up for air twice to go puke. Kristina talked me into going to Chopt with her for lunch and even though I wanted Taco Bell, I agreed. The fresh air would be nice and it’s not like my stomach could disagree with a salad.

“Sooo, Thomas told me something…” Kristina said as we walked down 42nd Street.

“What did he tell you?” I had to know.

“That he and Brendan want me and you to go run their sales department,” she answered, sounding delighted.

“Oh really? That’s a fun idea.” A fun idea to just throw around – it would obviously never happen.

“Super fun! I’d love to work with them. People we actually get along with!” she enthused.

“I couldn’t do that to Mike,” I revealed. I don’t know why I feel like I have loyalty to Mike, but he handpicked me (even if I was a second choice) to come work for him and I’m not going to jump ship after a few months.

“He also said he catches Brendan stalking your Instagram several times a week,” Kristina sang as we walked into the restaurant.

I gave her a disapproving look before following her in. We ordered our salads and took them back to the office. I didn’t want to be gone too long since I had so much work to do.

“Expect a job offer in your email soon. Or in your DMs, I guess,” Kristina giggled as we walked back into the building.

I got back to my office and was surprised to see that I had a new text from Hunter waiting. Literally the last person I expected to hear from – especially since I hadn’t heard anything from Brady.

“Hey Reese,” he said, adding a star eyed emoji.

“Hi Hunter,” I said back, with no emoji.

“Are you really pregnant? Brady’s freaking out and doesn’t believe you,” he said.

Are you fucking kidding me? Instead of talking to me like an adult, Brady went and told his loser brother on me? I stared at my phone for five whole minutes.

“Not sure why he doesn’t believe me when I showed him my doctor’s note. He knows it’s true and I have absolutely nothing to gain by lying about this,” I finally said back.

“And it’s his?” Hunter said back.

And before I could send the scathing message I was drafting (I was gonna let him have it), another message from him came through. “Just fucking with you. I’m stoked dude. Can’t wait to be an uncle.”

I replied, “Please don’t call me dude.”

Needless to say, that was the end of our conversation. I could not wait to get home to confront Brady about his latest stunt.

Mike was leaving at the same time I was. It was 5:30PM and late for him. He’d ditched his suit jacket and didn’t have his backpack or any work stuff with him. He didn’t say anything to me as we waited for the elevator together.

“Do you have any plans this evening?” I asked because the silence was deafening.

Mike looked down at me out of the corner of his eye, like I had no right to ask that. “No.”

Okay. Go have fun with your hookers then.

I got home and made a fabulous solo dinner (pasta with kale pesto from Pinterest) and waited for Brady to get home. To my complete shock, he walked through the door at 6:45PM. I hadn’t even made him any dinner because I thought he wouldn’t be home for several more hours (and also, I was mad at him). He even had a bag of takeout. I blinked at him expectantly.

“Hi,” he said slowly as he dropped his stuff on the bar area.

“Hello,” I said back, super super sweetly.

“I brought you a burrito and a salad, if you want it.”

I’d already eaten, but I wasn’t going to admit that. “Ohh, what kind of burrito?”

I got up to dig through the bag while Brady went to get changed. By the time he came back, I was balls deep in my chorizo burrito. He sat next to me at the bar.

“So we should talk,” Brady said.

“We should,” I nodded. I put my burrito down because I have manners.

“I guess I’m just wondering how this happened.”

“Do you want a deeper explanation than that you came inside me and your sperm fertilized my egg?”

Brady grimaced. Too much? “I mean, you assured me you were on birth control. I understand that it’s not 100%, but it’s just hard to believe you’re that unlucky.”

“Brady, are you fucking kidding me? Unlucky? Why don’t you understand how this works? I didn’t do this on purpose and I for fucking sure didn’t do it on my own!” I exploded.

“I just think it’s unfair,” he said.

“What’s unfair?”

“I don’t want a child right now!” Brady screamed, standing up. “Neither of us is ready and I can’t think of a worse time for this to happen!”

“Okay, I’ll tell the baby to come back in a few years when you’re ready.”

“And when you’re ready, too! You’re not even close to being ready either, Reese. For God’s sake!”

I burst into tears. I wasn’t expecting Brady to still be upset and definitely didn’t like him in my face and screaming at me. He muttered something and stormed off to the bedroom and I finished my burrito.

Brady was an asshole the next day as well. At 8PM he texted me saying, “Eat without me. I still have a few more hours here.”

Of course he did. And when he got home, he didn’t bother waking me up and he slept on the couch. I would have felt super alone, but I ordered Chinese food and that kept me company.

The following day though, Brady came home early with his tie off and a bouquet of flowers. I watched him over the top of my cheeseburger. We made eye contact and he looked down at the ground.

“I wanted to apologize,” he said.

“Oh,” I said back.

“I’m sorry. Um, can we talk? We should talk.”

“The last time we talked you screamed at me and blamed this whole situation on me,” I pointed out.

“I know. That’s what I want to talk about.” Brady motioned for me to join him at the bar area and I grabbed my cheeseburger and sat next to him.

“There’s no excuse for my behavior. I apologize for being a jerk. I shouldn’t have blamed you or yelled at you.”

“True,” I chimed in.

“I was, I mean, I am really surprised that you’re…pregnant.” Brady closed his eyes like this conversation was too hard to bear. And the word ‘pregnant’ was obviously hard for him to say. “I didn’t even think it was a possibility. I take full responsibility for my part in this.”

“…okay. Thanks, I guess. I didn’t think it was a possibility either, for the record,” I said, putting my burger down since we were finally talking.

“I’m scared,” he revealed.

“I am too,” I said, accusatorially. “Why do you assume you’re the only one feeling this way? It’s like you think this was my idea all along and I’m happy it’s all playing out.”

“No, I know this isn’t your idea. I’m sorry. I’m just…afraid of having a child and not knowing how to love it.”

“What?”

“I don’t know. If I – we – at this point already don’t want a baby…in addition to me having a hard time showing [he used a weird word here. I meant to Google it, but I gathered that it meant like, affection or love]….”

“Brady, you are capable of loving a baby. We will both work on it. I’m not the best at showing my feelings either, but we will figure it out.”

There was a pause and then Brady said, “So you’re six weeks along? What should we do? Should we get married?” He was dead serious.

“I don’t want you to marry me just because I’m pregnant. And definitely not if that’s the way you ask,” I said back.

He nodded and there was silence. I took this time to finish my burger. After I was finished, Brady grabbed my greasy little hand in his.

“I love you. I’m sorry that I don’t say it or know how to show it. You are the best part of my life.”

When Brady said this, I realized that he’s probably worse at showing affection because I don’t know how to accept it. After the “best part of my life” comment, I was thinking, “Hmm, not true.” And then I didn’t acknowledge it at all.

We talked a little bit about what I knew so far, which was basically nothing and went through some things on the What To Expect app. After that, Brady wanted to go for a walk, alone, and I realized when he came back that it was so he could smoke.

Once I’d talked to Brady about it, I thought I’d share my pregnancy news with my mom/parents. But then I thought I should wait until Mother’s Day. Won’t that be an amazing time to let my mom know she’s going to be a grandma? She’s going to die. As far as Brady’s parents – that’s for him to figure out.

As you can see, I’m less numb now. I might even be a tiny bit excited.

The following day, Saturday, Brady had to work, but I expected him to come home early with chili cheese fries like I’d been craving, but he worked late again. That was fine though because I couldn’t keep anything down all day. I had a ginger ale and lettuce for dinner.

When Brady finally got home, we sat together while he ate. After he finished and cleaned up, he said, “Um, I wanted to tell you something.”

Oh, God.

“Okay…”

“Do you remember Hailey?”

“Of course I do.”

Hailey was a college student Brady used to work with who had a massive crush on him and would send him flirty messages all the time. She was a non-threat, or so I thought.

“Well, this one time some of us from work went out and she kissed me. Well, she tried to kiss me. Obviously I-”

“What?” I demanded.

“No, I didn’t kiss her back. I let her know that it was, you know, inappropriate,” Brady explained.

“She, like, kissed you though? On the lips? How long did it last?” I needed to know.

“A second. A few seconds…or less.”

“When did this happen? Didn’t you work with her like three years ago?”

He nodded.

“Why are you even telling me this now? Are you looking for ways to piss me off?” I was shouting now.

“No, no, no! Of course not. I just want to make sure everything is out in the open now that…” He gestured, not wanting to say ‘pregnant.’

“So you had to tell me that some little girl tried to kiss you three years ago?”

Brady nodded.

“Is there anything else?”

“No. No, that was it,” he said.

I wanted to fucking punch him. What a waste of an argument. I went and got in bed and Brady came and joined me even though it was only 9:30PM.

Also, I don’t know if I believe him that that was it.

Advertisements
Standard

33 thoughts on “please don’t call me dude.

  1. Danielle says:

    First off, I’m happy Brady came around. Took him long enough, but he did and seems to want to be better. I think this is one of the best convos (communication/relationship wise) that you’ve had with Brady that you’ve told us about… Seems like he wants to improve everything and be open now, which is healthy and hopefully he keeps it up. However, I feel like he should’ve told you about Hailey 3 years ago or not at all if it’s so minor lol. But I guess it’s sweet he thinks that you should know.
    Kristina trying to constantly hook you up with Brandon even though you’re in a relationship sort of weirds me out tbh. Not sure what her play is, but would love to know haha.
    Also PLEASE tell us Brady’s moms reaction when he tells her. I’m so curious.
    Congrats again!!!

  2. Anna says:

    Jesus, Brady. BTW, this…this post right here is what the rest of your life will look like. Think about if that’s what you want from a partner and the father of your child. Ugh. And I don’t believe that Hailey is all he has to confess either. Not by a long shot. He and Hunter are cut from the same cloth.

  3. Delilah says:

    Well glad to hear he finally came around. Nobody deserves to be treated that way let alone by their boyfriend. I can understand that he is scared but so are you. He needs to support you. Hopefully things go a bit smoother now but I feel like once his mother finds out all shit is going to hit the fan. She is nuts! lol

  4. FormerNYCgirl says:

    Don’t know if you already addressed it with Brady but maybe this is a good time to say something like “ I want this baby and I’m excited and all but I know I’m going to have moments where I’m scared and freaking out. And I want to be able to share that with you but I need you to be there for me. And this pregnancy/baby is going to be something we need to make decisions about TOGETHER so we need to talk to each other and not go outside our relationship *cough hunter cough* to discuss”

    • Shelby says:

      YES. It’s insane how Not a unit they are sometimes. You guys have created a person, you’re tied together for life now. Since you’re keeping the baby, the least he can do is support you while you throw up all day and feel emotional. If my man treated me as callously in such a time as this, I don’t know what I would do. I’ve been reading this blog from the jump and love Reese so much, so I hope everything works out for her. Good luck and congrats girl! Please please keep these updates coming.

  5. T says:

    awww!! So now i can finally “congrats” you!! Yay!! A little “Reeses-pieces” ❤ How effing cute! Embrace it girl. You may have not wanted it at this time but god blessed you for a reason. XOXO

  6. Jilly says:

    Thank you for posting, I was dying!!! I knew Brady just needed a couple days to come around or at least think it was his idea that this was okay. Also, so glad you didn’t accept his half-hearted proposal, good lord! Honestly, I think it was sweet he told you about Hailey. Obviously he should have told you when it happened, but he sounds like he wants to be more open and if he felt enough guilt to come clean about another girl trying to kiss him, then I feel like you don’t need to be stressing about him following in Hunter’s footsteps. Relax for that baby!

  7. Lee says:

    Maybe I’m thinking on some conspiracy theory level but i think Brady is starting to confess stuff to you in hopes of getting out of the relationship and having to parent the child. Like getting you to dump him so he can continue living his life as he wants to without being that asshole who dumped his pregnant girlfriend….

  8. Connie says:

    I get zero impression that Hunter and Brady are the same person. As a jealous psycho I would have jumped all over my boyfriend about something like that (I can’t even imagine adding in pregnancy hormones) but I don’t think you need to be worried about it. If anything I’d take it as a sign that he’s trying to open up/be closer to you. I am currently working on not overreacting to my boyfriend because he barely talks as is and when he does open up I don’t want to go scaring him off from sharing with me again.

    Also, Brady is going to be a great dad if it’s something he wants to do and being worried about being a good parent is a sign that he’s taking it seriously. I feel so sad that he’s worried about being able to love a baby because it totally seems like it stems from the fact his parents didn’t love him the way they should have. I hope you two grow together through this process and I think sharing how important you are in each other’s lives is a great conversation and something you should affirm each other of often.

  9. Joyce says:

    I know you want to keep the baby, and you sound super sure of that.. also all of the commentors seem to be supporting that as well. But just to throw this idea in.. have you considered an abortion? Since you’ve been on birth control for so long that tells me you weren’t planning on getting pregnant and even Brady said it: neither of you are ready to be parents and it’s the worst timing.
    I just feel like the conversation was always centered on, I’m pregnant and keeping it so Brady you just need to shape up. So I understand you want the child, but if he doesn’t, would that impact your decision?

    • hi, I’m definitely 100% pro-choice, but for myself I don’t want to go down that avenue. knowing that I do want children, I would not feel right doing that at this time. of course it would be a conversation Brady and I could have, but I don’t think that is an option either of us is interested in.

    • P says:

      ^^I have to second what Joyce said…
      “I would not feel right doing that at this time” @Reese would you have said the same thing if you got pregnant the first time you had sex? Forgive me if this comes off super judgy & harsh, but based on everything you’ve shared on here it doesn’t sound like you’re ready for a kid. Your last post when you went home and drank wine right after finding out, did you not even think oh maybe I should grab a pregnancy test of my own to confirm or did you just think you knew better than a medical professional? Then you said you were “oddly excited to drop this bomb on him” when Brady came home which is selfish and immature like you were more concerned about surprising him with the news than trying to figure out where you two actually stand and how this affects your future. If you’re looking for a child to get Brady to commit to you then that’s really not the best plan and honestly a lot of pressure on the child…you and Brady need to get on the same page ASAP if you plan on keeping this child and/or trying to do it together. It literally changes everything. I know you can’t imagine because you haven’t been through it yet; I worked in childcare for many years before having my own and was still shellshocked when the moment came because nothing truly can prepare you for parenthood and the sleep deprivation that comes along with it. You’ve talked about sleeping in til 10am before I think, and I used to be that girl too, I looove sleep. Guess what time “sleeping in” is these days for me? 8am is literally the dream. Can’t remember the last time it’s happened. I’m not saying this to try and scare you, but just please think and consider everything because a tiny person is a lot of fucking responsibility, it isn’t something to be taken lightly. All that being said, I wish you the best whatever you decide, and will keep reading especially if you do have the baby because it’ll be crazy to see how much becoming a parent changes you lol.

      • no, I wouldn’t have said the same thing if I got pregnant the first time I had sex! things were obviously a lot different back then. I know that I’m not ready for a kid but I am willing to get myself ready and I’m fully capable of doing so at this point in my life. thanks!

  10. DT says:

    Congratulations! New babies are exciting, even if it takes people a while to get there. I wonder if you ever just think about turning the comments off? I know that those of us who read the blog are pretty much on your side so to speak, but there is a lot of one-sided opinion and truly negative comments from people who really don’t even know you, except for what you let us in on. I am sure there is so much more to your relationship with Brady than we read here. I hope the positive outweighs the negative and people remember to be KIND here to you.

    • i think if it got to a point where i needed to disable comments, i would just stop blogging. i like interacting with everyone and getting good (and bad) advice and no one has offended me to the point where i need to do that yet. thank you for being sweet!

  11. Christina says:

    Hi. For the record, there really is no “good” time for a baby.
    My husband and I barely spoke for two weeks after finding out about our oldest (lol I was also on the pill). And we had been married almost a year when we found out. We both still freaked out. Barely said a word to each other but now we have an awesome 3 year old who we adore despite daily challenges.
    We also freaked out finding out about baby#2 just the same! So give yourselves a break for not being overwhelmed with joy finding out about an unexpected pregnancy!

    The only advice I have, you guys HAVE to get on the same page of the same book. Your relationship will NOT survive a baby if you cannot even have a complete conversation about something so important and life changing as a new child. Regardless of the rest of the circumstances.

    I’m happy to see you’re starting to feel excitement and I hope your “morning” sickness passes quickly! ❤️

    • whoa, okay. glad Brady and I weren’t the only ones to have that reaction. we are talking a bit more but definitely have not confirmed that we are on the same page about anything. thank you!

  12. Sara says:

    How awkward is mike going to react to this info! I can’t wait to hear about it.

    And that Kristina girl is obsessed and/or sleeping with Thomas and either wants you to join her by sleeping with Brendan or she wants him also. I’m so glad you’re not taking the bait

    • Leanne says:

      I’ve followed your blog from the beginning, but it’s my first time commenting…
      I was also like you and got pregnant on the pill. I wasn’t even dating my boyfriend and he offered to pay me to abort…not a great start but I understood his reasoning when we weren’t a couple (we were friends). And he was scared too. He didn’t even want children. That said, we decided to try and make it work and 8 years later, we now have 2 children.
      It was never easy, but we had a lot of support along the way to make it work. And I was also prepared to solo parent if he chose not to be around. And I am 1000% pro-choice.
      My best advice is to connect with a family doctor (if you don’t already have one), and utilize the supports you have in your life. At the end of the day, this is yours and Brady’s child and you make the decisions.
      It’s scary, but you’ll be okay. I don’t truly think anyone is ever fully prepared to be a parent but you make it work.
      Congratulations! I think you will be an amazing mom.

  13. Lauren says:

    I have been reading your blog for a long time, and I can’t belive how much you have changed and grown as a person. You are going to be a great mom, and I hope that you aren’t letting the shitty reactions of Kendra, Carly and Brady get to you (I know Kendra and Carly are jazzed, but they completely dismissed how you might feel about it, whether or not you want to keep it, and how much you’ve already grown up).
    I know its bad timing, but if this is what you want and you are or will be ok with it, you’ll be great 🙂

    I think its really important now more than ever to communicate with Brady. I think you should explain to him how and why his reaction hurt you, and ask if there are anymore little kisses or other bullshit he needs to get off his chest (jessica). If you are going to have to drag him through this whole pregnancy then you’ll end up with two kids to look after instead of one. He’s a fucking grown man and while he is entitled to be upset, he doesn’t get to take it out on you. You might be better parents apart than together if he can’t sack up and be responsible for his own damn jizz.
    Anyway, congratulations! Use lots of vitamin e oil on your tummy to avoid stretch marks

  14. Lee says:

    This is going to be what you make of it and I can guarantee you will make it amazing. Your child is lucky to have a smart, tenacious mother. Mazel tov!

Leave a Reply to Lee Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s