i deserved that.

Brady logged out of his iPad because he found out I was reading all of his shit. He found out because I confronted him about the conversation he and Hunter had been having about me. After he initially told Hunter and they talked about it respectfully for a little bit (aside from Brady saying, “I think she’s lying”), Hunter said, “Good job locking that down forever, bro. She can’t leave you now, haha.”

To which Brady said, “She will still leave if she wants.”

And Hunter said, “And bankrupt you along the way.”

Excuse me? Fucking bankrupt him? What kind of gold digger do they think I am? And I’m not a “that” you can lock down. I continued reading.

“Exactly. I can’t believe I am in this situation. I’m pretty sure she planned this. She isn’t even upset,” Brady said.

Hunter sent a .gif of a baby crying. “I know it’s hard, but you have to learn the art of pulling out, bro.”

Brady didn’t reply to that.

A few days later, Hunter texted Brady saying, “Have you told [Brady’s mom’s name] yet?” Either I never noticed or they just started calling their parents by their first names.

“Not yet. I’m not in a hurry to tell her. This isn’t going to elevate her opinion of Reese, that’s for sure.”

When Brady got home from work, I immediately laid into him. I couldn’t help myself.

“I can’t believe you think I got pregnant on purpose and I’m going to bankrupt you. I mean, really? Do you think I need any-fucking-thing from you? I’ll gladly take my baby and never speak to you again,” I said.

Brady looked at me like he was confused before realizing that I’d been reading through his messages. “Reese, I respect your privacy and I’d appreciate if it was reciprocated.”

“And please tell me more about your mom’s opinion of me. I love how her opinion of me will change, not her own fucking son who got me pregnant!”

“She will be disappointed in both of us, Reese. I don’t care what she thinks though so it is fine.”

“Obviously you do otherwise you wouldn’t have brought it up!” I screamed.

Brady had the nerve to roll his eyes. “Stop shouting at me. Going through my private messages and speaking to me like this is disrespectful.”

Okay, true. But still. And the next morning when I checked, Brady had logged out of his iPad so I lost access to everything. Which I guess I deserve.

Other than that, Brady and I have not really spoken about my pregnancy at all. And he hasn’t even touched me. He’s been working super late, usually until 9 or 10pm. I thought he’d at least try to come early to his pregnant girlfriend. It’s okay though because I’ve been busy at work too.

There’s a girl I hate. Okay, I guess I don’t hate her, but she really annoys me. Everything at work is super manual – all of our reports are done in Excel and Google Sheets which I’m not used to and I’m trying to make more automated.

A woman who owns one of the reports, Connie, emailed me to let me know that I’d left some of the required fields blank on the report and I needed to fix it. She also copied Mike. I went back in and put in some estimated numbers and she replied all, “My calculations are coming up different. Will you check your numbers and re-enter them?”

Wait, why did she have time to check my work? We went back and forth for several emails, all with Mike attached. He messaged me to stop by his office and when I did, he fucking shouted at me, “Would you figure out this report with Connie? The back and forth is ridiculous and I’m sick of seeing it!”

I messaged Connie so we could talk about it offline, but she didn’t reply and she wasn’t at her little cubicle when I stopped by. But then when I re-sent the report she said, “This still isn’t correct. Will you double check?” I was ready to kill her and now she’s on my shit list for creating all the drama.

I forgot Brady and I invited people over for Cinco de Mayo until Lola texted me on Saturday asking if she needed to bring anything. So I spent all of Saturday grabbing stuff to make frozen margaritas and Mexican inspired appetizers. I was mostly excited to see Lola since it’d been a while since we hung out last.

It didn’t occur to me that people would want to know why I wasn’t drinking.

“Where’s your margarita?” Lola asked, gesturing to my glass of lemon water.

“Oh, I’m way too hungover from last night to drink,” I quickly said. I was not ready to break the news to Lola yet.

“Really? What’d you do?” It’s like she knew I was lying.

“I drank all day and then we went out. Just to the bar around the corner. So what’s going on with Kellen?”

That got her off my back. She told me about how Kellen is focusing on his music and they haven’t hung out much.

“It’s totally fine though because work is busy and I’m talking to someone else,” she explained.

“That’s fast! Who is it?”

“You can meet him soon. Let’s do Barry’s Bootcamp and day drink next weekend,” Lola suggested.

I nodded yes even though I wouldn’t be able to participate in the day drinking part.

Sydney showed up. She had her hair up in a high pony and wore tight workout clothes and no makeup. She followed Brady around the apartment all day, which I noticed because I was watching Brady the whole time. He didn’t hang out with me until he was good and drunk.

“Thanks for making all the food. Everyone keeps talking about how good it is,” Brady said, scooping up some of my not very authentic Mexican spinach dip.

My normal m.o. would be to say something snarky back, but I couldn’t even think of anything. “Of course.”

“Are you having a good time even though you can’t…drink?” He looked over his shoulder, knowing that we weren’t telling people about my being pregnant yet.

“I mean, I guess it’s fine. Luckily I like most people here.”

Sydney came and found me as I was putting out more chips.

“How have you been, Reese? Your hair is so long and shiny. What do you use in it? It looks amazing!” she said.

You know how people will give you a ton of compliments just to make conversation? That’s clearly what Sydney was doing. Especially since she has long and shiny hair as well. But hey, a compliment is a compliment.

“Thanks! I like to use hair masks. I use all different ones, but my favorite one is by Ouai. Do you want me to send you the link?” I said back.

She nodded excitedly.

A few hours later, it had started to get dark and our crowd dwindled to just Connor and Owen (Brady’s doctor friends) and of course, Sydney. I cleaned up all of the food and mess and then joined the group to see when they’d be leaving.

“She is not going to be president,” Brady said, shaking his head.

“I know she won’t be next year because she isn’t old enough, but she is our best chance for a female president since Hillary Clinton,” Sydney said.

“She’s a minority female socialist who is a former bartender. I’m sorry, but that is not who this country elects to be it’s president,” Brady explained.

“You sound like such a privileged and sexist white man. I didn’t realize you were like that,” she said.

So she was falling out of love with my boyfriend – a good sign that she will stop coming around.

“I’m not saying I agree with it at all. I’m just stating the facts,” Brady said.

Sydney huffed and crossed her arms.

“Does anyone want any food to go?” I cut in.

On Monday, Mike sent me out to check on a project. He was in a pissy mood and shouted, “Make sure those idiots know they are behind!”

….k.

I got to the site and the first person I saw was Brendan, wearing a tool belt and Workman boots. They were so far behind on the project that even Brendan was jumping in to help. Normally he just works on the business side. He looked so good in the tool belt.

“Hey, here to help?” he greeted me with a smile. He walked over to me so I wouldn’t have to walk around the construction area in my heels.

“Mmhm,” I smiled, surprisingly happy to see him since it had been a few weeks.

“How are you? How was Paris and stuff?” Brendan was standing way too close to me. I could smell his Le Labo Santal 33.

“Paris was absolutely amazing. I’ll have to show you pictures.”

“I would love that.”

We were flirting and I needed to get out of there. Especially because I didn’t know when I’d start spontaneously puking again.

“Mike sent me here to check the progress here. How’s everything going?” I asked.

Brendan looked around at the scene of construction/destruction behind him. “It’s coming along. There were some hiccups two weeks ago so we’re behind, but things are moving steadily now.”

“When do you think you’ll be finished?” I said and he looked back at me. “Mike wants to know.”

“We are probably still a few weeks away.”

“How about end of next week? Can it be done by then?”

Brendan rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his boots. “I’m not sure. I can’t call anymore of my guys over because they are working on another project. Can I give you an update toward the end of the week?”

I felt bad coming in demanding stuff from him when clearly he was trying hard for us.

“Of course. And thank you for digging in and getting your hands dirty. It’s rare to see a CEO do that.” I touched Brendan’s forearm for emphasis and he smiled at me. “Is the bathroom under construction also?”

I was happy that all of the sawing and construction noises drowned out the sounds of me throwing up. And now I’ve begun carrying oral care in my bag so when I do puke during the day I can clean myself up after.

Happy Mother’s Day, y’all!

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23 thoughts on “i deserved that.

  1. Please, do yourself a favor and ask your doctor to prescribe Diclegis! It is FDA approved for pregnant women, and it worked great for me! It is a preventative, so you take it like as soon as you wake up and it’s supposed to prevent nausea and vomiting or at least make it way less. I think I only had to take it for a couple months and then stopped needing it. Hopefully your morning/day sickness will go away soon. For some people it only lasts the first trimester. I know it’s a strange time for you and things are a bit tense, but congratulations! Your life will be forever changed, but in a good way!

  2. M says:

    I am appalled at Brady’s behavior. I understand the shock he felt at first, and I even understand the terrible initial reaction, but he’s had time to come to terms and he is still being a giant jerk. Also, him saying things like you probably did it on purpose?! Does he even know you?! I don’t know that I could stay with someone who accused me of those things, and kept on treating me as terribly as he’s treating you. You deserve better.

    • Kare n says:

      Brady is allowed to vent to his brother without having Reese flip out because she can’t stop snooping. Has he ever felt the need to secretly go through her personal texts and then get mad at her? Honestly if I were Brady I’d be upset by the lack of trust that has been shown time and time by Reese’s actions.

      This pregnancy is a shock to both Brady and Reese. In order to be good parents you need to have a stable, loving relationship. That’s why I think that you two should try therapy again so that you can be in a good place when the baby comes.

    • he’s definitely been an asshole about the whole thing. we talked and things feel a bit more comfortable – I’ll update y’all a little later!

  3. Maia says:

    I get Brady being upset but some of the shit he said was rude. It takes two to make a baby. Blaming the baby on Reese isn’t fair. That Connie lady is a pain in the ass. You handled her well. Have you told your parents yet or no because your mom would probably tell Brady’s mom before y’all got the chance?

  4. Amber says:

    I agree that Brady is being so rude and unsupportive! I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I can totally relate about the iPad messages – I do the same thing to my husband and every now and then, I find a message that I have to confront him about and it is always obvious how I got the info. I have no advice for you about that because I can’t seem
    to help myself either! I hope that you feel better! How much longer until you are out of the first trimester? I wish we could throw you a baby shower – I would love to send you a baby gift! 🙂

    • lol glad I’m not the only one. but also glad that I physically cant anymore because it’s hard to stop myself. I believe I have 3-4 more weeks of my first trimester but I am seeing the doctor tomorrow. thank you!

  5. Anna says:

    I think this is the part that irks me the most: ““Exactly. I can’t believe I am in this situation. I’m pretty sure she planned this. She isn’t even upset,” I understand being surprised or numb or incredulous (to a degree), but “HE” is in this situation? Alone? And you aren’t upset. Which means he’s not paying attention, never around, or completely oblivious. Which of those three is the worst option?

    I get that Reese doesn’t share every detail about her relationship with us, and rightly so, but that means we only have what we’re told to go on. And I am still worried for her in this situation. How many long term relationships that were created by an unwanted pregnancy where the father thinks he was tricked lasted? I hope he’s at least kidding a tiny bit as he chats with brother douchebag online.

    Still love Brendan, though. Too bad about the wifey.

    • Jilly says:

      I agree that what Brady said was super weird, and the “Good job locking that down forever, now she can’t leave you”? It sounds like he and hunter have discussed this before, and it definitely points to Brady being insecure that Reese is going to leave him. Reese, sounds like Brady needs as much affirmation that your committed to your relationship as you do!

    • I think he’s a bit of all three. i think he says a lot of things to Hunter in order to sound cool but has a different story with me.

      • Anna says:

        I am really glad to hear he’s different with you. I would have flipped out if I’d been you seeing those messages.

        On another note, do you have a due date?? Will Brady go with you to an appointment to hear the heartbeat for the first time?

      • Anna says:

        I hope there’s a positive change after that. It’s going to become very real for both of you. Congratulations!

  6. vmayweathers says:

    Brady is such a shit head! You deserve soooooo much better than him. Go get your own place call it quits bc he does not deserve you. Your family will have your back 100%, you don’t deserve to be treated the way he treats you.

    What he discusses in private about you is really how he actually feels and that is such a horrible thing to say! You’re so strong and you’re going to make a beautiful mother and Brady does not deserve to have you in his life. He doesn’t even compromise! He’s selfish.

    I hope things work out but know that I’m here for you and thank you for sharing your life with us.

  7. e says:

    just caught up with your blog! i realized it’s been 5 years and i thought it’s crazy. you’ve grown so much and damnit brady hasn’t!
    congrats on the baby!
    if you’d gotten pregnant 5 years ago it would’ve been crazy crazy, you were in a totally different place in life. i hope you can enjoy your pregnancy and that you get some medication for your sickness.

    most importantly i hope brady stops being a damn idiot and grows up, if he had any doubt in your pill-taking skills and worried you’d trap him he could’ve wrapped it. dumbass.
    maybe it’s just a bit too abstract for him as of now, it’ll get better hopefully

    wishing you the best!!

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