is something wrong with him?

Hey.

My parents came to visit at the end of August for my birthday. It was such a relief to finally get to see them again after so many months. My mother arrived wearing a face shield, gloves and a mask because she’s not fucking around. My mom’s immune system is trash so she’s been being extremely safe since she gets sick often. So I was even more grateful that she traveled on a plane to see us.

They stayed for the weekend, giving Brady and me both alone time and much needed relief from each other. Brady got to talk to my dad about news and politics — things I have no interest in — and I got to complain to my mom about his behavior.

I told her about Sydney and the girl from the pool and she said, “Is something wrong with him?”

Yes, Mom, there is!

And then she offered to talk to him.

“I know sometimes you have a hard time expressing yourself,” she told me. “So I’m happy to translate how you’re feeling to him.”

And it’s just like, Brady understands exactly how I feel. He’s just choosing to act stupid about it. I appreciated the gesture though and since my parents left, he’s been on his very best behavior.

Okay, but the reason I really wanted to post is because I found out some juicy information from Brendan. I’ve been going into the office once a week, just to catch up with Mike and use some of the fancy equipment we have there. Brendan stopped by on one of the days I was there. We don’t talk or text as much as we used to; just a “How are you?” or stupid meme here and there. We used to text constantly, but I’ve been busy with the baby and he’s been busy with his wife and we just sort of fell out of it.

But he invited me to lunch and I happily agreed. I was excited to catch up with him. I used to love hanging out with him and talking to him.

He immediately started talking non stop about his wife and I was just like, 🙄😒. Even before their little separation, he never talked about her this much. So it was kind of weird and it almost felt like he was overcompensating.

“Well, I’m happy you guys aren’t having problems anymore,” I finally interjected.

“Yeah. I guess the issue kind of worked itself out.”

“Mmhm. So what was the issue? You never told me,” I said, taking one of his French fries.

I figured he wouldn’t tell me because he’d been so evasive up until this point. But then he looked at me and said, “Do you really want to know?”

“Of course!”

“It was because of you,” he said and immediately took a sip of his drink.

“Excuse me? Because of me?”

Brendan nodded. “Yeah. Because of how I felt about you.”

I just sat there, speechless. I had so many questions. But mainly, how did he feel about me?

“What?” I said.

He was suddenly super interested in the condensation on the side of his glass. He explained that his wife found out how much we were talking and hanging out last year and when she confronted him about it, he admitted that he liked me in “an intimate way.”

An intimate way? Fucking Brendan!

And she proceeded to blab to their families about what he told her and they had a meeting about it which resulted in the trial separation. And you know how Brendan and his wife hang out with Mike and his wife a lot? And vacation together? Apparently the wife even talked to Mike about it during one of their trips. Can you fucking imagine? I was so horrified at the thought of Mike knowing anything personal about me or hearing gossip about me. But apparently this is how and when he found out I was pregnant. He never mentioned anything.

After finding all of this out, I sat there for a moment and then I just started crying.

“Uh, I’m sorry? I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Brendan said. He tried to touch my back, but I shook him off.

“I wish you hadn’t told me that.”

“You asked me to,” he said back.

“And why would you tell your wife that you had feelings for me? You’ve never even told me that.”

“Well, I’m not going to lie about it.”

And maybe it’s irrational, but I was so annoyed with him. I felt blindsided. I had no idea he felt like that, especially after we had the talk about being just friends. I know we were kinda flirting, but I never thought it was harmful enough to cause problems in either of our relationships. I don’t even think Brady knows who Brendan is. I can’t believe he told his wife that he had feelings for me, but didn’t bother telling me this and continued hanging out with me and complaining about his wife to me as if everything was normal and didn’t have anything to do with me.

In my mother’s words, is something wrong with him?

“We probably shouldn’t hang out anymore,” I said once I’d stopped crying.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said back.

We haven’t talked since that day. I need space to gather my thoughts. I had so many questions. Like, how much does Mike know about me and Brendan’s relationship, does Brendan’s wife know we had lunch that day, does he no longer have feelings for me and that’s why “the issue worked itself out.”

I’ve toyed with the idea of texting him, even started typing messages to him, but I don’t even know what to say. And I definitely don’t want his wife to see me texting him.

Bye.

Standard

8 thoughts on “is something wrong with him?

  1. Ash says:

    Do you, or did you, have feelings for him? You’ve admitted that you’ve enjoyed the flirting and attention he gave you in the past. And there is nothing wrong with that. In the words of my grandmother, “I’m married, not dead.” Let’s say, hypothetically, that you do have feelings for him. You need to figure out why you have those feelings; is it because Brady spends so much time at work and doesn’t give you the attention, affection, and intimacy you crave from him, so you’ve sought it out in the form of a surrogate, knowing it’s inappropriate? Or do you truly have feelings for Brendan? I think it’s pretty normal for people who have been in a long term relationship, such as you and Brady, to flirt with someone of the opposite sex. Especially if we are feeling somewhat neglected by our partner.

    You have put in a lot of time, energy, and patience with Brady. Not to mention having his daughter, which creates an entirely new and different bond between the two of you. I have been following your blog since day one, watching how you’ve made mistakes but always owned up to them and grew from them, and I fully believe you love Brady. But you gotta figure out why you put yourself into a situation that could have easily turned into an affair. And I’m not judging you at all, I’ve been there.
    Loved the post! I think it’s safe to say that we all miss you very much and hope you guys are safe and healthy. 💖💖

    • I don’t think I have true feelings for Brendan other than a good friend. but i think the issue is that he reminds me sooo much of Brady, but he actually communicates and tells me how he feels and is so open with me. as sad as it sounds, I wish Brady was a little bit more like Brendan.

      • Ash says:

        That’s totally understandable. Brady has never been a good communicator…you both have struggled in that department. As for the Brendan situation, how would you feel if Brady acted the way you do with Brendan but towards a female? From past posts, I think it’s safe to say you would be furious. There is nothing wrong with having friends that are the opposite sex, but when we are in a relationship we just have to be careful how we interact with those friends.

  2. Jordan says:

    I feel like you are being somewhat hypocritical here. Last post you were livid that Brady went to eat with Sydney (even before you found out he went to her place, which was incredibly inappropriate of him, I’m not defending it) but you went to go eat with Brendan. And the situations are similar. The only reason Brady doesnt know about Brendan is because you were better at keeping it a secret. It’s unfair to hold him to a higher standard than you hold yourself to.

    • Brit says:

      I agree. Didn’t you kiss Brendan a few posts back? I think you need to evaluate your feeling for him instead of finding fault with Brady even speaking with a female friend. You can’t just do whatever you want and bitch that Brady is talking to Sydney. I find it hard to believe that (1) you didn’t know Brendan had feelings for you and (2) that you were leading him on and giving him mixed signals.

  3. P says:

    I think the Sydney and Brendan situations are different. Reese made it clear that they should stop hanging out after finding out Brendans feelings; Sydney & Brady continue to pursue some sort of relationship despite everything.

    The first commenter gave solid advice about figuring out why you put yourself in those situations.

    • Jessica says:

      But Brady doesn’t know about Brendan, it’s unfair to assume Brady would be ok with it. He may have had the same reaction and said he was uncomfortable with Reese speaking with him etc. She works with him and his very strong willed, so I doubt Reese would have stopped speaking with him/going for lunch etc especially when they were hanging out on the regular. They are only different because Sydney and Brady relationship is known about.
      Brady and Sidney text, so does Reese and Brendan (well at least they were)
      Brady and Sidney go for meals, so does Reese and Brendan (quite often they went and she kept it secret from Brady, which is just as shady)
      Brady and Sidney work together, so did Reese and Brendan
      Reese flirts with Brendan etc. We haven’t seen any actual situations where Brady/Sidney were flirting, but none the less makes Reese uncomfortable (no one can say Brady would be comfortable with the way Reese and Brendans relationship was like- it was treading on thin ice of crossing the line)
      The only difference is one relationship was kept a secret and the other was not so much. No relationship is perfect but they both need to figure out their boundaries, share them and start respecting them if they want long term happiness. And I really hope they do find that, I’m routing for them!

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