Hey y’all.

So…I am engaged. I’m slightly annoyed because I only got to enjoy it for approximately two weeks before election anxiety took over my life. So the timing wasn’t perfect, but I am still super happy.

The last time I updated y’all I was still dragging my feet about moving in with Brendan. I ended up waiting until the last possible second — the long weekend before I had to be out of my apartment. There was literally no reason other than I was afraid of change and our relationship felt perfect the way it was. Plus, Winnie and I were spending all of our time with Brendan at his apartment anyway and our apartment was basically just being used as storage at that point.

So anyway, I waited until the weekend before I needed to be officially out to call up my movers and tell them I was ready so the whole situation felt kind of chaotic. I know Brendan was irritated with me that I’d left everything until the last minute, but in my defense, it’s not like I had a ton of shit to move since we’d been slowly moving our things to his place for months! But you know Brendan didn’t say anything to me and started helping the movers like he was getting paid too. I love him!

This was on a Sunday evening and once the move was over, Brendan said, “So we live together now?”

I was like, “Well, it sure appears that way, doesn’t it?” Was he already regretting our decision? It was a bit late now! And he’d had months to reconsider especially when I was not exactly tripping over my feet to move myself. 

“Okay, good,” he said and kissed me, apparently not regretting anything…yet.

Since we had the whole night ahead of us, Brendan suggested dinner at one of the little romantic Italian restaurants in his our neighborhood to celebrate me finally moving in. I may have delayed the move in for as long as humanly possible, but that didn’t mean I was any less obsessed with my man. Especially because this was only a couple days after I’d been near tears alone in my office — triggered by the debut of Brendan and all of his employees’ new headshots on the company website. I had this crazy realization, like, “Wait, this is my man? He’s so HOT and successful and he loves me? Like, hello?? How did this happen to me?” And before you ask, I am not pregnant, but was probably emotional because of my birth control/being a naturally insane person. And even Miguel was looking so good in his headshot too that it had me wondering what the Eiffel Tower is like at this time of year. But this is a post about my engagement so we are going to move on.

Anyway, dinner was completely normal and there was absolutely no indication that Brendan was going to propose to me soon. The next day, we had a day off from work and school. Brendan was up bright and early because he had to work out and run errands and stuff, you know how he is. He woke me up to talk to me about my plans for the day and what time I planned on being home with Winnie, who I was picking up from Brady’s house in the afternoon. He mentioned going to his parents’ house for dinner later, but would keep me in the loop. We spend time with Brendan’s parents quite often so this didn’t seem out of the ordinary. Although it was a school night and I really just wanted to have a chill night with the three of us but oh well.

Since it was technically a holiday, Brady was off of work (remember when Brady would never take a day off, holiday or not? And here he was, lounging in comfy clothes on a Monday! I won’t complain), but Caroline was working. Which meant I actually entered their bland home for maybe the second or third time ever. It had been a hot minute since we’d even seen each other so I guess he wanted to catch up. Plus, Winnie politely asked me to help her clean her room. My messy (literally and figuratively) girl.

After we cleaned, Winnie and I went back downstairs where Brady was and somehow spent another couple of hours just fucking around. I don’t even know how, we literally weren’t doing anything. Brady had changed out of his comfy clothes and was talking my ear off about the house and Winnie and other random stuff about work and his life. I will say that now we are in a good place, he seems a lot happier as a person. Like, we aren’t talking regularly and I don’t know how long it’s going to last, but when we do, he can joke around with me and not be a complete dick. And it’s just like, why can’t you always be like this? I feel like Caroline actually makes him happy! So good for them! I have some more to share about Brady and Caroline, but let me get on with my story.

Winnie and I hopped in the car to head back to the city and I called Brendan to check in. He said that he was still out running errands or whatever, but he’d be home later and we could still go to his parents if I wanted to. I’m like, I never wanted to, but sure!

So we got back to what I assumed was an empty apartment. Winnie ran through the place, getting herself situated and comfy, while I stood in the foyer area completely engrossed in my FYP. Thoroughly distracted. She appeared in front of me again, calm, but giddy.

“Mommy, I have to show you something,” she said.

“Mmkay,” I said, still only half paying attention and totally expecting my child to show me the makeover she’d given one of her dolls or an item she’d stolen from one of her classmates. Something along those lines. She led me to the guest bedroom which I probably hadn’t stepped foot into since construction ended. I’m like, “Oh God, what has this child gotten into?” as she has no business being in there.

I followed Winnie to the bedside table where she dug into the drawer and produced a square black box, the kind that typically holds a piece of jewelry. It looked huge in her little hands and she pried it open gleefully.

“Winnie!” I gasped as I laid my eyes on what appeared to be a large, sparkling ring. My first thought was that Brendan’s ex had finally given him the engagement ring back and Winnie had found where he stashed it. I didn’t really get a good look at it. A very small, doubtful side of me thought it could’ve been my future engagement ring that she’d stumbled upon. “Put that back!”

She froze as I rushed over to take the ring box from her to put back in the drawer. But before I could even get my grubby little mitts on the box, a big hand reached over my shoulder and took the ring box out of my hand. Brendan.

“Oh my God,” I said, initially mortified that we’d been caught snooping. We’d barely been officially living with the guy for a full day and we were already busted going through all of his stuff.

But then Brendan got on one knee and it took me a moment to understand what was going on. Whenever I’ve imagined getting engaged and Brendan proposing to me, it was nothing like this. Like, we were in a random guest bedroom. And my dude had a backward hat on. I’m not complaining, it was just different than I was expecting. And I was definitely surprised.

I blacked out and started sobbing hysterically — you know me — and a concerned Winnie clutched my thigh thinking she’d read the entire situation wrong.

Eventually after who knows how long (it could’ve been ten seconds, it could’ve been four minutes, I literally have no idea), Brendan said, “Uh, are you gonna answer me?”

“Mommy, why are you crying?” Winnie asked, on the verge of tears herself.

“I didn’t hear the question,” I said as I flapped my hand in Brendan’s waiting for him to put the ring on me.

“I said, ‘Will you marry me?’” he repeated.

“Oh em geeee. Yes! Of course!” I exclaimed.

“Really? Awesome,” he said and finally slid the ring on my finger. It was quite literally the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. Oval diamond with a halo and diamonds on the band. Huge.

“Let me see, let me seeeee!” Winnie demanded and then said, “Whoaaaa,” when I showed it to her.

Brendan got up and hugged and kissed me and said something to Winnie about how she “did good.” Insinuating that they were in cahoots or something. It may not have been the extravagant or over the top proposal that I imagined, but if they planned it together then that kind of touched my practically nonexistent heart.

“I’m literally so surprised. I did not see this coming,” I said.

“Really? No wayyy,” Brendan said back skeptically, not believing me. Like he thought I was expecting it or something, but I’m not sure why that would be the case. He gave me literally no indication that he was about to propose to me! I don’t know, I guess I just thought he would make it such a big deal that I would see it coming from a mile away. Like, I’d spent basically the entire day with my ex and now here I was engaged to my new man.

To be clear, I am not complaining at all, I am just expressing my feelings about the whole thing. And now that I’ve had time to think about it — I don’t know what a better proposal could’ve been. Especially once we all calmed down and went down to the kitchen where Brendan had apparently put all of us his set up efforts. There were red and white roses, sushi from the place we always order from, chilled wine and champagne, a cheesecake, and even a tiny gold bracelet for Winnie so she would have a special piece of jewelry too. I could cry! And especially when I was reiterating later how surprised I was by the whole thing and Brendan said that he’d been wanting to propose for a while, but apparently I’d previously told him that I can’t get engaged to someone I don’t live with. And so that’s why he waited until we were officially living together to actually do it. He always takes what I say to heart — like I’d say no to a proposal if we weren’t living together yet!

So we spent the night with just the three us (and not at Brendan’s parents, who he didn’t even tell what was happening beforehand) and even though I felt like I was hallucinating on shrooms or something, I kind of loved it for us. Plus, wasn’t I the one bitching in my head about how I just wanted a chill night at home with the three of us? And that’s exactly what I got. I don’t know, he just always gets me.

I’m sorry to cut this so short, but I am currently sick in bed with a child who is also sick and has a birthday coming up. I expected to share this news in a more exciting post, but I am basically clinging to life at this point and I just wanted to get something out there so y’all know I am still alive (for now). I’ll come back with more details soon, I obviously have so much more to say. Love you all!