Okay I know I said I swore off guys, but I would like to retract that statement. At least temporarily. But only because I met an amazing Major League Baseball player last night and he’s effing gorgeous, obviously.

Kendra and I always go to happy hour on Wednesdays after work. We found a place that was having a special on margaritas so obviously I was game. After my last meeting at 4, I changed into a cobalt blue shift dress and Prada flats and hopped on the el to meet Kendra at the restaurant. You’re not going to believe this, but I don’t own a car. It might be because I secretly dream of living in New York City and living the whole pedestrian/public transportation lifestyle. But it’s probably because I got into eight car accidents in two years and my insurance dropped me. And I’m still mourning the loss of my beloved Mercedes E-Class and I can’t bring myself to buy a new car yet.

We sat at the bar reviewing (complaining about) our days and knocking back margs. I’m super animated when I tell stories (especially after three margaritas) so when I was telling Kendra about this annoying troll in my office named Whitney I accidentally elbowed the person next to me’s drink.

Whoever it was grabbed my shoulders to steady to me (and presumably protect themselves from my outrageous gesticulations) and said, “Careful there little lady.”

I turned and I swear it was love. at. first. sight. The guy next to me looked like a fucking Greek god. He had gorgeous olive toned skin, thick dark hair under a baseball cap, a 5 o’clockshadow that said “I haven’t shaved since last week because I’m busy being important” and icy blue eyes. And he was kind of rugged looking in his worn in jeans, like he’d just stepped out of an Eddie Bauer catalog.

“I’m sorry,” I practically purred.

“No worries,” Hercules said, winking. “You seem worked up. Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine. Just went a little overboard,” I told him.

He introduced himself as Eric and offered to buy my next drink (not that I needed it). We got to talking and I found out that he’s 27, single and has only lived in the city for a year. He told me he just purchased a condo and was in the process of renovating and furnishing it. This got me particularly excited because I work for a furniture and home decor company. It was like a match made in interior design heaven.

He excused himself to go to the bathroom and Kendra grabbed my arm.

“Reese, do you know who that is?!” she hissed.

“Eric? Do you know him?” I replied.

“That’s Eric Grant*! He plays for the Cubs!”

No wonder his biceps were the size of cantaloupes.

“He’s effing hot. And he’s probably filthy rich,” I whisper yelled back.

Kendra rolled her eyes. “I’m sure he is. You sound incredibly shallow.”

Aren’t we all at least a little bit shallow? You would choose Liam Hemsworth over Steven Tyler, am I right?

“I want to go home with him,” I declared. Now, I didn’t really want to go home with Eric. That would be slutty. It was an exaggeration meaning “I want to go home with him but only after he takes me on several dates.” Ya know?

Kendra’s eyes flicked above my shoulder and I turned to find Eric standing over me with a smirk on his face. He let out a chuckle and sat back down in his barstool. I gave Kendra the most menacing glare I could muster for not telling me he was behind me.

Eric and I continued chatting, pretending that I hadn’t basically said I wanted to screw him in his barren little condo. We continued chatting for a while longer and he seemed somewhat amused by me, luckily. I kind of felt bad for basically ignoring Kendra but I honestly forgot she was there. Eric and I were really hitting it off. Finally, the friend he came with was ready to leave so we had to say goodbye.

“Can I see you again, Reese?” Eric asked before they departed.

I had to count to three in my head so I wouldn’t sound too eager. “Of course.”

We exchanged numbers and he promised to call me to discuss “furniture options.” I hope that’s code for “exploring each other’s naked bodies.” But only after he takes me on several dates of course.

* = name has obviously been changed.