mediation of my own.

Kendra and I met for margaritas and chips and queso (not sorry) on Wednesday. We went to a neighborhood I don’t frequent so naturally I had to mix and mingle with the other patrons. We ended up talking to this group of guys and pushing our tables together.

They had come directly after work in the financial district and and all looked dapper in smart suits. The guy I was sitting next to, Cole, was the hottest (not Brady hot, but still hot) and was all over me. He is one of those guys who knows how to work a room. As soon as I told him my name, he used it every opportunity he had.

“Do you want another margarita, Reese?”

“So Reese, do you live around here?”

“Are you going to Lolla, Reese?”

I heard that when you first learn someone’s name you should use it several times to make it stick. Cole was definitely doing just that and it was obvious. I ended up giving him my number even though he’s kind of cocky and I have no interest in dating him. Not when I kind of have Brady who is much more attractive and doesn’t act like God’s gift. Brady hasn’t talked to me at all since Saturday though so whatevs.

When I got to work on Thursday morning, Whitney followed me into my office again.

“Reese,” she started before I even put my stuff down.

“Yes, Whitney?” I said, exasperated. I knew it was going to be something about Amanda/gossip/drama and I just don’t have the time.

“I know you’re unhappy about what’s going on in the office, but you can’t just threaten people because things aren’t going your way,” she said to me like I’m a seven year old child.

“What are you talking about?”

“Amanda told me you called her into your office and threatened her because she’s talking to BJ again.”

I rolled my eyes again. Good grief. Did I ever even mention BJ to Amanda? I’m convinced that they both just pull all this stuff out of their asses. 

“I’m not even going to entertain this,” I said, booting up my computer. I started logging in and pretended she wasn’t still standing there.

“Amanda is really upset. I think you should talk to her and maybe apologize…”

“I’m not fucking apologizing to her,” I said, not looking up from my computer. 

“Reese, I know you’re not used to being in a higher position with a company, but you can’t just do and say whatever you want. There are consequences.” 

Now she was lecturing me.

“Okay,” I said.

I felt her staring at me for a moment before walking out.

I was surprised, but not surprised when Tracey called me and asked me to come to her office later. Amanda and Whitney were already down there when I got there. Seriously? I actually had real work to do.

“Thanks for joining us, Reese,” Tracey said as I slid into the open seat in front of her desk. “So Whitney and Amanda have a few concerns with you and wanted to be able to do so with me present to make sure nothing goes awry.”

Of course. As if I’m some big bad wolf.

“Thanks, Tracey,” Whitney said. She turned to me. “Reese, I tried to discuss things with you this morning before having to get Tracey involved, but you weren’t receptive at all. I was just trying to express to you that Amanda is upset that you threatened her.”

“What was the nature of this threat?” Tracey wanted to know. 

Before I could answer, Amanda piped up. “Aron told me that Reese is upset because BJ and I are on speaking terms again. So Reese called me in her office and said that she would send me back to school with a negative recommendation.”

Tracey didn’t say anything so Amanda went on.

“Because Reese and BJ hooked up, you know? So she is upset that he and I are friends again and they aren’t. I feel like I’ve done a great job this summer so a bad recommendation would be unfair.”

“You have done a great job,” Whitney said.

Tracey gave me an odd look that let me know that she had no idea about the BJ thing. Shit. If they could just lie, I could too right?

“I didn’t hook up with BJ. Everything you just said is a flat out lie,” I said calmly.

Amanda and Whitney looked at each other.

“I don’t know what you guys did, but he seemed to be pretty familiar with with your apartment and where you live,” Whitney said. “And your body….”

“We all know BJ is trouble. Didn’t you two have a falling out earlier this summer, Amanda? In fact, weren’t you in this office before, having a mediation? What’s the common denominator here?” I said, sweetly.

Amanda’s face began to flush and she smiled sheepishly at Tracey.

“I’m offended that y’all would even think I would involve myself with him in that way. That’s insulting to my character and integrity.”

Whitney wouldn’t look at me.

“I have no reason to be threatened by you at all, Amanda. I find it appalling that you would sit here and lie to Tracey when we both know the truth. Honestly, you should be ashamed of yourself. You too, Whitney,” I said.

Neither of them said anything for a moment. Then Amanda said, “You did say you would give me a bad recommendation.”

“Because you were talking shit and gossiping. I think your professors and future employers should know that you can’t handle yourself in a professional work environment.”

Amanda was looking straight ahead avoiding eye contact, but I could see that her face was turning scarlet.

“Sorry,” she said quietly.

“Do you accept her apology, Reese?” Tracey asked.

“Sure.” I wasn’t going to be friends with the girl though.

“Do you have anything to apologize for?” Tracey asked.

Honestly I didn’t, but I also didn’t want to seem like a cunty bitch. “I’m sorry that you thought I was threatening you.”

Amanda accepted my apology and Tracey said we could leave. I bolted out of there before she could ask me to stay and elaborate on the BJ situation. Plus I had Pinterest work to do.


if i had a brother, he would be hot.

Monday was Memorial Day and we all had the day off (except Preston) so we road tripped to Carly’s parent’s house in Rockford for their family barbecue. I spent most of the day flirting with Carly’s cute older brother, Kyle. He played football at Stanford and is your typical blonde haired, blue eyed All American guy. We like to tease each other about being perpetually single, but we’ve never actually hooked up or anything. Well, I guess we made out on Christmas one year but we were both really drunk. But we would never have sex. That’s like, incestuous. Carly hates it, but I don’t know why. If I had a brother he would obviously be hot, and I would let Carly hop all over that. In fact, I would encourage it. I would love a sister-in-law to drink with! 

When we got back to the city, I spent the night with Eric and then again on Tuesday. I’m starting to feel like things are really working for us. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but usually things would’ve fizzled out by now. I have a mild case of adult ADD and I get bored easily so I’m pretty proud of where things stand with Eric and me. 

Diana called me into her office on Wednesday morning. 

“Good morning,” she said as I sat down.

“Hi Diana. How are you?” I replied. 

“I’m well. I just wanted to call you in here today to tell you what an absolutely great job you’re doing, Reese.”

I tried not to grin too wide. “Thank you!”

“I knew I was making a good decision when I put you in charge of branding, but you’ve honestly exceeded my expectations. This new collaboration is already shaping up to be wonderful and everyone is excited about it and it’s all thanks to you. It’s pretty incredible.” 

I obviously knew all of this already but it is still touching hearing it from my boss. 

“Thank you so much, Diana. I’m working hard to prove that you made the right decision.”

Diana cleared her throat. “Anyway. I wanted to let you know that we have two new ad team interns starting on Monday. I know you’re busy, but I need you to make sure they are learning everything they need to know and get the most out of their internships.”

“Of course. I would love to.” 

The last thing I wanted to do was babysit some annoying college kids, but I guess it comes with the job. Plus, it might be nice to have two more peasants to order around. After work, I met Kendra and Carly for chips, salsa and blackberry margaritas. 

As soon as we got settled, Kendra said, “You guys, I need some advice.”

It’s kind of hilarious hearing perfectly put together Kendra say she needs advice. Usually it’s the other way around. 

“What’s wrong?” Carly asked. 

“Nothing is wrong, I’m just in sort of a dilemma,” she answered. 

“Oh my gosh, just spit out already!” I practically shouted.

“Okay.” Kendra looked from me to Carly and back. “John’s lease is up at the end of the month and we were thinking instead of renewing it, he could move in with me.”

Carly spoke up first. “Why?” 

“To save money. We want to get married and buy a house eventually. We thought it might be the time to do this.”

“But he’s a doctor. Why is he freeloading off you?” I couldn’t help asking. 

Kendra’s eyes cut to me. “We would be splitting the rent obviously.”

“What would your parents say?” Carly asked. 

She brought forth a great point. Kendra’s ultra conservative parents would never go for this. 

“Well they wouldn’t know. They wouldn’t approve of it since we aren’t married yet.”

“I don’t know, Kendra. Do you think you’re ready for that step?” Carly asked. 

I can’t even imagine living with a man at this point in my life. You would have to share the same bathroom and closet and he would probably expect you to cook sometimes and keep the place clean. Hell no. But then I started thinking about living with Eric. His closet is pretty bomb and having a fireplace to snuggle in front of during the brutal Chicago winter would be useful. 

“We’re ready. We’ve been together for six years, you guys. We’re ready for the next step.”

Kendra loves bragging about her boring ass six year relationship. The same penis – for six years.

“I say do it. You guys know you’re getting married. It’s smart,” Carly said.

“What do you think, Reese? Should I?”

I took a long gulp of margarita before answering. How was I going to say this without sounding like a closed minded bitch?

“I just feel like if John moves in with you, we’re never going to see you again. He’s going to be there all the time. And will we still get to have wine night and crash at your place? John probably won’t even let you keep alcohol in the apartment.”

“Nothing is going to change, Reese. It won’t affect our relationship at all,” Kendra said calmly.

I didn’t want to get in a fight over this so I said, “Well if you want to then do it. But I wouldn’t.”

We finished up and went our separate ways and I could tell Kendra wasn’t really happy with the way things ended. I know she’s going to do it anyway. 

When I got home, Eric called and we made arrangements for him to come by my apartment. In all this time, he had never actually been up to my apartment – just the lobby – so I had some preparing to do. Namely throwing everything I had scattered on the floor into the closet and throwing the bag of Cheetos Puffs (don’t judge) I had lying on the counter in the garbage. My apartment is actually really cute when it’s all cleaned up (I work in home decor, what do you expect?), but that doesn’t happen very often. Hey, I’m really busy (lazy). 

We ended up going straight to my room and hooking up then cuddling and talking for two hours. He left at around 11:30 because he was tired and I was a bit offended that he didn’t want to stay the night with me.

*Note: next week I’m going to post a Q&A on the blog. Leave your questions as a comment or email ( or tweet them to me!


love. at. first. sight.

Okay I know I said I swore off guys, but I would like to retract that statement. At least temporarily. But only because I met an amazing Major League Baseball player last night and he’s effing gorgeous, obviously.

Kendra and I always go to happy hour on Wednesdays after work. We found a place that was having a special on margaritas so obviously I was game. After my last meeting at 4, I changed into a cobalt blue shift dress and Prada flats and hopped on the el to meet Kendra at the restaurant. You’re not going to believe this, but I don’t own a car. It might be because I secretly dream of living in New York City and living the whole pedestrian/public transportation lifestyle. But it’s probably because I got into eight car accidents in two years and my insurance dropped me. And I’m still mourning the loss of my beloved Mercedes E-Class and I can’t bring myself to buy a new car yet.

We sat at the bar reviewing (complaining about) our days and knocking back margs. I’m super animated when I tell stories (especially after three margaritas) so when I was telling Kendra about this annoying troll in my office named Whitney I accidentally elbowed the person next to me’s drink.

Whoever it was grabbed my shoulders to steady to me (and presumably protect themselves from my outrageous gesticulations) and said, “Careful there little lady.”

I turned and I swear it was love. at. first. sight. The guy next to me looked like a fucking Greek god. He had gorgeous olive toned skin, thick dark hair under a baseball cap, a 5 o’clockshadow that said “I haven’t shaved since last week because I’m busy being important” and icy blue eyes. And he was kind of rugged looking in his worn in jeans, like he’d just stepped out of an Eddie Bauer catalog.

“I’m sorry,” I practically purred.

“No worries,” Hercules said, winking. “You seem worked up. Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine. Just went a little overboard,” I told him.

He introduced himself as Eric and offered to buy my next drink (not that I needed it). We got to talking and I found out that he’s 27, single and has only lived in the city for a year. He told me he just purchased a condo and was in the process of renovating and furnishing it. This got me particularly excited because I work for a furniture and home decor company. It was like a match made in interior design heaven.

He excused himself to go to the bathroom and Kendra grabbed my arm.

“Reese, do you know who that is?!” she hissed.

“Eric? Do you know him?” I replied.

“That’s Eric Grant*! He plays for the Cubs!”

No wonder his biceps were the size of cantaloupes.

“He’s effing hot. And he’s probably filthy rich,” I whisper yelled back.

Kendra rolled her eyes. “I’m sure he is. You sound incredibly shallow.”

Aren’t we all at least a little bit shallow? You would choose Liam Hemsworth over Steven Tyler, am I right?

“I want to go home with him,” I declared. Now, I didn’t really want to go home with Eric. That would be slutty. It was an exaggeration meaning “I want to go home with him but only after he takes me on several dates.” Ya know?

Kendra’s eyes flicked above my shoulder and I turned to find Eric standing over me with a smirk on his face. He let out a chuckle and sat back down in his barstool. I gave Kendra the most menacing glare I could muster for not telling me he was behind me.

Eric and I continued chatting, pretending that I hadn’t basically said I wanted to screw him in his barren little condo. We continued chatting for a while longer and he seemed somewhat amused by me, luckily. I kind of felt bad for basically ignoring Kendra but I honestly forgot she was there. Eric and I were really hitting it off. Finally, the friend he came with was ready to leave so we had to say goodbye.

“Can I see you again, Reese?” Eric asked before they departed.

I had to count to three in my head so I wouldn’t sound too eager. “Of course.”

We exchanged numbers and he promised to call me to discuss “furniture options.” I hope that’s code for “exploring each other’s naked bodies.” But only after he takes me on several dates of course.


* = name has obviously been changed.